this took me long time t t

anonymous asked:

You know... You have confused me a lot. I was wondering who the hell were you before I noticed you had changed the name of your blog, which took a long while, which led to a long "ohhhhhh". And I thought you were a guy all this time!!! Like what the-?..... or are you? Me is confused... I hope this doesn't sound bad. i really love your blog!

Oh my gwad! I’m so sorry! xD I know, some people missed my little notice of the name change “The Big Merge” that sounds more epic.

oh and btw this is me in a nut shell:

and also me:

Don’t worry, I’m confused too xD

Keeping To Herself - Castiel x Flur

Part 4/4 of the request for @sallynightshade is finally done.


Why was she mad at him? The concert had gone well, everyone had a great time; she looked like she’d had a great time up on stage. For the first few songs she’d seemed nervous, but that was normal. Castiel couldn’t see any reason that Flur would have to be mad at him. Sure, it hadn’t been her idea to get up on that stage. Sure, he may have pushed her a little to get her to do it. But at the end of the day she seemed to have a good time.

So, why? Why when the concert ended did she get off the stage and storm off? More importantly: Why did Castiel follow her?

Keep reading

6

IT’S FINISHED!!! ÖAÖ)7

♥ ALL THE REIBERT HAPPY SUMMER FEELINGS TO YOU ♥

I’m pretty satisfied with the colors! :-> Hope that I haven’t missed or forgotten something. Also Reiner got a bit too big (well he’s still a titan ohoho!)

These kids are gonna have a nice day~!

I drew a compilation of just a few of my favorite Ritsu moments!! (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧

i saw you today for the first time in three months. you looked so gorgeous, i didn’t realize how badly i’ve fallen for you until today. you sat there, glancing at me once in awhile. i made sure our eyes didn’t make contact as i took glimpses at you secretly. our eyes met. my heart was beating out its chest. i forgot to exhale. i haven’t felt this way towards anyone in a long time, i kind of missed this feeling. but not in this way, knowing that you don’t want me in the way i want you. and that makes me cry, it kills me every single day and night.
—  diary entry 1.

at some point i realized i would never come first. i would give up my teeth my eyes my soul for you. it took me a long time to realize that wasn’t healthy and by then i was empty. with you it was always something else you were happier doing. at first i thought it was just passion but then you started forgetting me in any grain of sand. i had to beg you to come back. it’s amazing how long you can convince yourself to wait for someone before you realize they aren’t coming. before you realize that you aren’t worth it to them. that it isn’t that they love being chased. it’s that they don’t want the arms you’re offering.

Bat Boy Headcanons Bed Partners

We are looking at the batboys as bed partners. Not necessary with a focus on NSFW themes, but they’re there.


Dick:

-Blanket. Hog.

-Say it one more time, all together now, this man is a blanket hog. After many a night waking with shivers and losing the battle to wrest a sliver of your bedspread to cover yourself (good God, what is his grip strength?), you begin to keep an old comforter at the end of the bed. When it’s time to sleep, if Dick happens to be staying over, you split the blankets in two. He can have the top sheet and the fluffy, fancy duvet. You’re fine curled up in the worn floral cotton cover that had been on your bed in girlhood. Warmth is warmth, Martha Stewart home-goods be damned.  

-The added comforter makes for awkward, bulky snuggling. You tried to maintain the post-coital sleep cuddles a handful of times, but with the burrowing nature of the sleeping Richard, spooning through the night was abandoned in favor of pressing your backs together. Most times, sex or no sex, you take a shower and emerge to find him curled under the fancy covers facing the wall. You know he’s not sleeping, but you both pretend. By the time you’ve gone for a shower, everything that needed saying was said. You creep into bed and settle in. Slowly, wordlessly, you inch together until the lengths of both your bodies are pressed tightly against one another. He even points his toes.

-Bless him.

-In the morning, fucking morning glory jostles you a few times before rolling his entire body weight over you to “squish you awake.” He chuckles and coos at your angry huffs and groans. Asshole.

-He makes you breakfast to make up for the squishing. Gross whole-grain related hot cereal breakfasts, but whatever. He didn’t hafta’ make it, and that’s what counts.

-You’re not a morning person, by nature. The inherent conflict between someone with your night owl tendencies and his cheery, perky, frighteningly sunny disposition before noon tends to cause friction. At least… you expected it to cause friction. In actuality, he’s just infectiously chipper? It’s hard to stay upset when your house smells like brown sugar and fresh fruit and he’s all smiley.

-Damn him.


Jason:

-This poor boy generates more heat than a top of the line WE radiator. We’re talking damp sheets and a bunched up comforter kicked to the foot of the bed every frickin’ night. You own pajamas. You used to sleep in pajamas. Now you’re too damn hot. Not in a fun, hot and bothered way. No. Hot in the “Jason, I swear to God, if you don’t get your heavy, sweaty arm off of me, I’m kicking you” sort of way.

-For the most part, he doesn’t really sleep. At least, you don’t think he does. He seems to nap in quick bursts, but will stay with you through the night without protest or excuse when asked.

-He sleeps so hard when he rarely slips past his usual doze to full unconsciousness that it doesn’t really matter what you say, nothing can be done. You are trapped in the crushing embrace of your sweaty boyfriend.

-At least he mostly smells good, cigarette breath aside.

-You like cuddling. Previous boyfriends had requested separate blankets or a pillow wall because, Jesus, you are a monster. What Jason does cannot be called cuddling. It’s huddling. He huddles you.

-Your back to his chest. One bicep under your neck and, somehow, that same forearm is positioned in a bar back over your chest so your cheek sits on his elbow. Is it still a headlock if done out of affection?

-You don’t know.

-The other arm gets tossed over your belly. It fastens your torsos together with a firm hold kept in place because he burrows that hand beneath your hip. When he takes deep breaths you’re sort of squeezed. It’s a happy turn of events that you aren’t claustrophobic.

-You’re not sure what happens to your legs. You’ve never managed a look down at them while being huddled. Suffice to say that they are not your own.

-When you absolutely have to extract yourself from him, a lot of squirming is involved. 100% honesty, you have elbowed him awake. You had half an hour before work and were dangerously close to pissing your scant pjs.

-Drastic times, yo.

-On the nights when he just naps, mornings are whatever. The huddling is not at DEFCON 1 levels of nuclear crisis, so you just slip out of bed with some wiggling and start getting ready for the day. Within 30-45 minutes, he drags himself out of bed and gloomily sucks down the coffee you offer to him.

-The morning of the elbowing incident he stayed in bed. You haven’t talked about it.

Tim:

-The first time you invited Tim over to stay the night, you tucked yourself in while he was hunched at the foot of your bed working on some big project for his company. When you woke up he… he was at the foot of your bed clacking away on that project. He had not moved. He had not slept.

-Like, thanks Edward. I totally invited you over so that you could watch me snore and drool on my pillow instead of fall into a similar state of vulnerable unconsciousness as a relationship building exercise.

-I’m not inviting you back.

-You do invite him back. You also impound his laptop, his tablet, and his smartphone after 11:30 and physically wrestle him into bed. He resists. Desperately.

·         “I have to finish that in the next  36 hours. I don’t have time for sleep.”

·         “But I’m working on a project for Bruce! I can’t stop until it’s finished.”

·         “I took a long nap today. I’m not sleepy.” (Spoken as he yawns.)

It almost reminds you of tucking your kid brother in when he was spoiled and four, but you don’t want your brain making those kinds of connections, and wait… what? No.

-He falls asleep in exactly 23 minutes. Yes, you timed it. If that’s creepy, you don’t care.

-Once actually bedded, Tim is a pretty ideal sleeping partner. No snoring. No copious drool. Mild mumbling here and there when repositioned. You even manage to arrange the both of you into one of those cute couples’ sleeping positions from the movies with your head all on his chest and his nose resting in your hair.

-It is comfortable for 10 minutes, then you move because your arm is asleep and your neck sort of hurts.

-When you wake up, he is gone. There is fresh coffee in your kitchen and also a note signed with the extremely professional full signature of Timothy Drake. You don’t know what to make of that, and honestly, the fact that it is sitting so neatly beneath a sloppily drawn heart doodle serving as the “sincerely” only serves to further confuse you at such an early hour.

-Nights with Tim are always one of these two options: he is up doing some ungodly thing on the internet or sleeping like a rock that somehow rises gracefully before the dawn and never, never wakes you up to say goodbye.

Damian (obviously, significantly older):

-He is surprisingly calm? You are a bundle of nerves strapped into the fourth pair of pajamas you tried on before leaving the closet, and he’s just standing there in pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt staring at you like, “What the hell took so long? Please tell me you know how to dress yourself by this age.”

-Every time it is like this. This is not the first time you have slept beside him, but you just want to tie yourself into a knot and die because, oh my GOD, why is he so  p r e t t y?  

-Your roles in this relationship are utterly reversed every time it comes down to crawling under some covers. Unfortunately, he even does awkward with more grace than you. Where he usually is painfully formal and stilted in old fashioned ways that amuse you to no end, you’re just like… a mess. A hot mess in blue striped pajamas brimming with nervous giggles and a distinct lack of eye contact.

-He insists that you sleep on the wall side. When you ask, horrified by a premonition of you crushing him in the middle of the night trying to scramble for the bathroom half-asleep, he patiently explains for the seventh time that he has made an honor-bound promise to protect you. You cannot sleep on the outer edge of the bed. If there were to be an assailant, they would have easy access to you while he was hindered by an inferior position deeper within the gully of the mattress.

-Yup. Used the exact words “gully of the mattress.”

-What were you worried about? He’s still your scrub. A pretty scrub, but an awkward scrub who cannot hold a conventional conversation in a bucket with a speech guide.

-When your strange, flighty demeanor calms into your more usual behavior, you settle in nicely. You both like sleeping on your back. He stretches one arm beneath your pillow, and you tuck neatly into his side.

-He is warm. Damian smells like soap and tea and something musky and mannish that isn’t indicative of cologne. It is a good smell, and you always sleep wonderfully when he stays over.        

Ouch, my heart: an analysis of the Sectumsempra

Well, well well…. look who’s back from the dead (me, if you couldn’t guess).

First of all, I want to apologise for not doing these for so long. Things got a little insane in my life. I haven’t had time to blink these days, but here I am, because I love you all.

First of all: thank you and sorry it took me over a year to do this. And second of all: of course I can! 

I think this is the post everyone was waiting for and I have no idea if I’m ready for it. Wait. I know I’m not.

But since I’m either a masochist or already too numb from all the pain this ship causes me, I’ll try anyway. Fuck the police.


I’ll open this discussion with Harry’s last thought about Draco before the horrible tragedy that we call Sectumsempra:

Was it his imagination, or did Malfoy, like Tonks, look thinner? Certainly he looked paler; his skin still had that greyish tinge, probably because he so rarely saw daylight these days. But there was no air of smugness, or excitement, or superiority; none of the swagger that he had had on the Hogwarts Express, when he had boasted openly of the mission he had been given by Voldemort … there could be only one conclusion, in Harry’s opinion: the mission, whatever it was, was going badly.

Ok, let’s start by the fact Harry says Draco has a “swagger”. Not my words!

And also: Yer a stupid wizard, Harry.

The boy is falling behind in classes, he’s sad and lonely, he looks sick, you know he’s terrified he’s not pleasing Voldemort. So instead of trying to help him, you go and use a spell for enemies on him. A boy genius.

I don’t even know why I’ll point this out again, but it’s not normal to keep noticing those things about people you don’t care about, ok? It’s just not done. You’re fooling yourself!

Meanwhile, Harry is getting desperate here. If it’s because Draco looks sick or because he couldn’t find out what his mission was, we’ll never know. But he knows he’s running out of time, and he has other personal problems to deal with, like the horcruxes and his huge crush *sarcasm* on Ginny.

And coincidentally his crush on her seems to grow, suddenly. Almost like it’s a distraction… hm. She’s exactly like the opposite of his true crush, I mean, obsession, I mean… Malfoy. She makes him forget, instead of making him feel like everything is falling apart; she doesn’t have any problems besides boys and Quidditch, while Draco’s buried in shit.

But still, he thinks about her far less than he thinks about *someone else*. Because a constant in this book is that nothing is more pressing than Draco Malfoy. Not the Prince himself, not the horcruxes, not girls or Quidditch. Nothing.

In the midst of all his preoccupations Harry had not forgotten his other ambition: finding out what Malfoy was up to in the Room of Requirement. He was still checking the Marauder’s Map and, as he was often unable to locate Malfoy on it, deduced that Malfoy was still spending plenty of time within the Room.

Oh yeah, in the midst of his problems, one being he didn’t know if Ginny was worth upsetting Ron (and if that’s not an indicative that she’s not your one true love, Harry, I don’t know what is), he still has plenty of time to obsess over Draco Malfoy.

Just healthy, really.

And now, because I didn’t forget the real issue here, let’s read what brilliant thoughts Harry Potter has about the Sectumsempra:

…he saw the Sectumsempra spell, captioned ‘For Enemies’, that he had marked a few weeks previously. He had still not found out what it did, mainly because he did not want to test it around Hermione, but he was considering trying it out on McLaggen next time he came up behind him unawares.

Oh yeah! He was considering trying the Sectumsempra on Cormac! That’s how much of a genius he is. Harry, go study some latin before you use a fucking spell, will ya?

I mean, you would think that a boy who lost both parents to a curse and studied Charms for 6 years would think to at least check the etymology of a spell before using it on another human being. Or not, if you’re stupid as fuck!

Ok, so are you ready for the heartbreak? *takes deep breath*

Harry made his usual detour along the seventh-floor corridor, checking the Marauder’s Map as he went. For a moment he could not find Malfoy anywhere, and assumed he must indeed be inside the Room of Requirement again, but then he saw Malfoy’s tiny, labelled dot standing in a boys’ bathroom on the floor below, accompanied, not by Crabbe or Goyle, but by Moaning Myrtle.

First of all, Harry, why??? What kind of dodgy business could he be planning with the ghost of a muggleborn girl murdered by Voldemort? If anything, that shows he’s really not who you think he is.

It took me years after reading this book to realise Draco was confessing to a mudblood, and a victim of Voldemort. To me, that’s a symbol of how his views were changing and how, in the end, he was a victim, not a villain. He was like her in a way. 

Also, how fucking lonely he was. *sobbing*

God, that makes me so mad! This is the only time Harry really disappointed me and I think he fucking knows it. He disappointed himself too.

Draco Malfoy was standing with his back to the door, his hands clutching either side of the sink, his white-blond head bowed.

‘Don’t,’ crooned Moaning Myrtle’s voice from one of the cubicles. ‘Don’t … tell me what’s wrong… I can help you …’

‘No one can help me,’ said Malfoy. His whole body was shaking. ‘I can’t do it … I can’t … it won’t work … and unless I do it soon … he says he’ll kill me …’

And Harry realised, with a shock so huge it seemed to root him to the spot, that Malfoy was crying – actually crying – tears streaming down his pale face into the grimy basin.

To be honest, I can’t choose what’s worse about this whole thing. Draco confessing to a ghost, because he has no one (and not just any ghost, but the one everyone can’t stand)? The fact he is crying because he’s so scared?

Or maybe the fact that Harry is just so stupid he can’t use simple logic and understand that, whatever this is, Draco doesn’t have a choice???

Ouch, my heart just broke real quick.

Malfoy gasped and gulped and then, with a great shudder, looked up into the cracked mirror and saw Harry staring at him over his shoulder.

Malfoy wheeled round, drawing his wand. Instinctively, Harry pulled out his own. Malfoy’s hex missed Harry by inches, shattering the lamp on the wall beside him; Harry threw himself sideways, thought Levicorpus! and flicked his wand, but Malfoy blocked the jinx and raised his wand for another –

(…)

There was a loud bang and the bin behind Harry exploded; Harry attempted a Leg-Locker Curse that backfired off the wall behind Malfoy’s ear and smashed the cistern beneath Moaning Myrtle, who screamed loudly; water poured everywhere and Harry slipped over as Malfoy, his face contorted, cried, ‘Cruci—’

I can’t imagine how humiliated he feels, and how terrified he is, because not only was he crying because of Voldemort, but now Harry Potter knows too much. And Harry won’t help him, he’s sure of that.

You know what breaks me? They start do duel with childish hexes and curses, and it escalates so quickly, before any of them can take a moment to realise the seriousness of it.

And I wish Draco was going to say “Crucifix nail nipples!”, but we know he was not. But do you wanna know what I believe? If he had time to finish saying the word, nothing would happen, and Harry would be able to see he’s not evil. He obviously didn’t mean the Crucio. 

But before he has that chance, Harry goes and fucks up royally:

SECTUMSEMPRA!’ bellowed Harry from the floor, waving his wand wildly.

Blood spurted from Malfoy’s face and chest as though he had been slashed with an invisible sword. He staggered backwards and collapsed on to the waterlogged floor with a great splash, his wand falling from his limp right hand.

‘No –’ gasped Harry.

Slipping and staggering, Harry got to his feet and plunged towards Malfoy, whose face was now shining scarlet, his white hands scrabbling at his blood-soaked chest.

‘No – I didn’t –’

Harry did not know what he was saying; he fell to his knees beside Malfoy, who was shaking uncontrollably in a pool of his own blood.

To be honest, Harry never in a million years thought that would be a lethal curse. Never. He wanted to test it on McLaggen!

I can’t stand this moment, I can’t. I makes me tear up every time.

Because there is Draco’s physical pain, which was probably horrible, then there’s his emotional pain, because he’s at his most vulnerable moment and it’s such a betrayal! Harry is one of the good guys. He was afraid Voldemort would do something like that to him, not Harry. And that is so so so sad.

And there’s Harry’s pain as well, because he’s fucking terrified. He knows Draco is dying, he knows he did something unthinkable, he knows he fucked up. Sometimes I can’t believe Draco actually saved Harry after that, because this probably haunted him for a long time.

Just imagine seeing someone surrounded by their own blood, with deep cuts and shaking in pain. I don’t think you can forget it that easily. Especially if you were responsible for it.

And you know what makes me angry? That Harry compartmentalises what he’s feeling so well that it’s like two different people: one when he’s alone, looking at what he did, and one once he finds his friends. It’s maddening.

But there’s a reason for that, and we’ll get into it soon.

“Harry was still watching, horrified by what he had done, barely aware that he too was soaked in blood and water. Moaning Myrtle was still sobbing and wailing overhead. When Snape had performed his counter-curse for the third time, he half-lifted Malfoy into a standing position.

You need the hospital wing. There may be a certain amount of scarring, but if you take dittany immediately we might avoid even that … come …

He supported Malfoy across the bathroom, turning at the door to say in a voice of cold fury, ‘And you, Potter … you wait here for me.’

It did not occur to Harry for a second to disobey. He stood up slowly, shaking, and looked down at the wet floor. There were bloodstains floating like crimson flowers across its surface. He could not even find it in himself to tell Moaning Myrtle to be quiet, as she continued to wail and sob with increasingly evident enjoyment.”

I love the way JKR describes how Harry sees it, how vivid are the consequences of what happened. And I obviously love how Snape tells Draco it might scar, possibly more for Harry to hear than for him. Snape knows him well, he knows the guilt trip he could go into and is trying to push him into it. And Harry deserves it.

It doesn’t happen, though, because immediately after, he goes to find his friends (and Ginny), who make him forget about his feelings.

But before we get into that, I’d like to talk about the symbolism of Harry finding the room of hidden things when he’s trying to hide the book. It’s the room he’s been trying to get in all year, and it’s almost like a physical representation of Draco at this point.

It’s very interesting how he can suddenly get in, almost like the barriers are all down, almost like Draco stopped caring about hiding it from him. Almost like he’s so sad and hopeless he stops trying. Thinking about the wave of disappointment he must be feeling, it’s very possible that Draco’s feelings were an influence in the door showing up for Harry.

Anyway, then Harry tells his friends about what just happened and they respond exactly like you would expect them too, almost to a stereotypical extreme.

“I won’t say “I told you so”,’ said Hermione, an hour later in the common room.
‘Leave it, Hermione,’ said Ron angrily.”

Isn’t it interesting how none of them we just horrified by the whole thing? How Hermione just focuses on the book, not on the teenager almost bleeding to death?

“(…) Malfoy had already been visited in the hospital wing by Pansy Parkinson, who had lost no time in vilifying Harry far and wide…”

I just love this sentence. First of all, with all her flaws, I love Pansy. She’s just the best friend Draco could have in that moment, because she takes no bullshit. And to be fair, Harry deserved to be vilified. And you can sense his opinions on what he’s done are changing because his friends just excuse what he did, especially Ginny:

“Give it a rest, Hermione!’ said Ginny, and Harry was so amazed, so grateful, he looked up. ‘By the sound of it Malfoy was trying to use an Unforgivable Curse, you should be glad Harry had something good up his sleeve!”

I hated her so much in that moment. What Harry did it’s inexcusable, and he knows it. So it hurts my eyes to see her say something so dismissive. Draco would not be able to actually Crucio him and, deep down, Harry knows it. He doesn’t even try to convince himself he’s faultless, that it was self-defense.

Ok, so let’s expand on Ginny’s rare presence being right in this chapter.

It’s no coincidence this is the same chapter where Harry kisses Ginny for the first time. Remember what I mentioned in the beginning of this post? The whole of Half-Blood Prince is built using a parallel between Harry’s relationship with Draco and his relationship with Ginny to move the plot in the right direction.

“Hermione and Ginny, who had always got on together very well, were now sitting with their arms folded, glaring in opposite directions. Ron looked nervously at Harry, then snatched up a book at random and hid behind it. Harry, however, though he knew he little deserved it, felt unbelievably cheerful all of a sudden, even though none of them spoke again for the rest of the evening.”

I mean, come on. He literally buries his guilt in giddiness because Ginny is defending him. Defending him against something he knows is his fault. She’s helping him forget Malfoy. Again.

And this chapter is so cleverly written it splits his feelings with the places and situations he’s in: when he’s with Snape, in the dungeons, he can feel the guilt as a physical presence. Snape makes sure he understands that the detention is about making him feel guilty:

“Mr Filch has been looking for someone to clear out these old files,’ said Snape softly. ‘They are the records of other Hogwarts wrongdoers and their punishments. Where the ink has grown faint, or the cards have suffered damage from mice, we would like you to copy out the crimes and punishments afresh and, making sure that they are in alphabetical order, replace them in the boxes. You will not use magic.”

When he thinks about Gryffindor and Ginny, he forgets about any negative thing happening with him: 

“And while he copied out all their various offences and punishments, he wondered what was going on outside, where the match would have just started … Ginny playing Seeker against Cho …”

To be honest, that is one of the things that always bothered me with this ship being canon. Ginny never sees the Harry we see, she always sees someone who’s always right, someone who’s the hero. And Harry only sees Ginny as a ladder to a life he wants so desperately. A life with no complications, with a family, with giddiness and lightness. He holds onto her because she makes him forget all the horrible things he has gone through, and that’s one reason why he never tells her anything: he wants her in a bell jar, untouched by his traumas.

And we all know that’s not who he really is. The final proof is how this chapter ends:

Harry looked around; there was Ginny running towards him; she had a hard, blazing look in her face as she threw her arms around him. And without thinking, without planning it, without worrying about the fact that fifty people were watching, Harry kissed her.

(…)

The creature in his chest roaring in triumph, Harry grinned down at Ginny and gestured wordlessly out of the portrait hole. A long walk in the grounds seemed indicated, during which – if they had time – they might discuss the match.”

This moment is like a completely different book. It’s a fantasy. Something Harry knew couldn’t last. It was escapism.

This chapter is also the last before Malfoy finally figures out how to fix the cabinet and Harry goes with Dumbledore to retrieve the horcrux. It’s almost like a tragic farewell to the relationship the two of them had prior to thing getting fucking serious. It all changes after that.

The Sectumsempra in itself changes everything. Harry, someone who we know as heroic and honourable, commits an act that shifts what we know about him, and at the same time Draco, who up until then we see as a bidimensional character, comes alive and gets layers on top of layers. It’s the only possible introduction to what happens in Deathly Hallows. Tragic and horrible, but beautiful to watch.

I mean, I could go on and on. If I had the time, I would probably debate every single sentence in this book that, to me, is the most symbolic and crucial of them all.

But I do have a job, so this will do. Hope you guys enjoyed it!

BTS reaction: Them being a virgin and wanting their first time with you (request)

I am so, so, so sorry this took so long. I didn’t mean for it took take this long, but things have just been crazy for me and the rest of us on this blog.


Jin:

You two lay on the bed. You were cuddled next to Jin, watching YouTube videos on the laptop placed on Jin’s stomach. Suddenly, he paused the video, “I have to go to the bathroom. Don’t watch it without me.” he said a he crawled out of bed.

“Nah, I’m gonna keep watching.” you said only to be playfully annoying.

“No! See it without me and I’ll stop cooking for you!” he threatened as he left the room.

“PLaY thE ViDeo anD I wOn’T coOk foR You!” you mimicked in a high voice when you were sure he wasn’t able to hear you.

You left the laptop on this side of the bed and got up to just peek around his room as you waited. It wasn’t like it was your first time in his room or anything, you just found yourself wanting to take a look around at the stuff he bought since the last time you were over.

The first thing you did was open the drawer on his night stand. “Headphones… charger… cologne… condoms- wait what?!?” you grabbed at the small box, quickly realizing that it was already open.

You felt yourself becoming filled with rage. You tore up the box open finding out there were only 3 left in the box that was supposed to be packed with 10. “What the actually fuck?!?” You and Jin hadn’t slept together yet, so he obviously didn’t use these with you.”He’s cheating on me!”

“You didn’t play the video did you?” Jin’s voice asked as he appeared in the room.

You angry eyes flew on him. “You’re cheating on me?!?” you practically shouted.

He froze. “What?”

You threw the box at him. “Fuck you!”

His eyes followed the flimsy box as it awkwardly dropped to the floor. “Y/n, wait!” he said, blocking you from leaving the room. “It’s not what you think!”

“I don’t want to hear your stupid bullshit! I want to leave!”

“But Jagi, I’ve never even had sex before!”

“You expect me to believe that?!?”

“Look, they came in a gift basket a fan gave us. We decided to keep it. We each have one condom in our wallets just in case. And I’m the only that is keeping the rest cuz I’m the most responsible and they guys have to come to me to get another one. That way I can talk them out of stupid one night stands.

You continued to glare at him. “And you actually expect me to believe that you’re a virgin, “Mr. World wise handsome”, You “third guy from the left”, you literally could have anyone you just look at”

“But I want you! I love you! If I’m gonna sleep with someone, I don’t want it to be just anyone. Jagi believe me. If you go check my wallet, there is still a condom in there. Look, I can go get the rest of the guys to explain, just so that you will believe me.”

His voice drowned out and the only thing you focused on was the fact that he said he loved you. In all you months together he never said it before. “Y-you love me?

He came up closer to you, putting his hands on your waist. “Y/n, of course i love you.”

You held yourself back from hugging him back or giving him a kiss, you still weren’t too sure if you believed him.

“Y/n, please believe me. The other night at your place…What we did.. That was the closest I ever came to having sex.” he said with his face blushing.

“Really?” You said thinking back to when he came over and things got really heated between the two of you.’

“Yeah” he said with embarrassment. “Why did you think I was all giggly and nervous when you took your shirt off.” His face was burning even more.

Jin had never lied to you before. There didn’t seem to be a real reason for him  to lie to you right now, right? If he really did want anyone else, he could have them in a heartbeat. 

With much hesitancy, you hugged him back. “I believe you” you pulled him into a kiss. “And I love you too.”

Originally posted by jjilljj

Suga:

It was movie night at the dorm. You and your boyfriend, the one and only Suga of BTS were cuddled up on one end of the couch, Jhope sat at the other end of the couch. Jimin and rap monster were on the other couch, Jin and V were collecting the snack from the kitchen, and the maknae was out in the city doing his own thing.

“Guys, hurry up I want to start the movie!” Jimin shouted out to the two in the kitchen.

“Dude! We said to fucking wait!” V shouted back.

“Can’t something be done in this dorm without the need for screaming?” Suga groaned.

Being the good girlfriend you were, you covered his ears to protect him from the loud back and forth shouting. In return he gave you a cute smile and a peck on your temple. 

Suddenly the door busted open and the maknae walked in with an out-of-the-ordinary stride and a huge smile on his face. He marched his way into the center of the living room and stood with pride. 

“Jungkook, move you are blocking the TV.” you whined. You knew there was nothing on yet, but the movie was supposed to be played any second. 

Jungkook ignored you and went ahead and spoke. “Is no one going to ask why I am so happy?” he asked loudly.

“We don’t really care Jungkook.” Suga mumbled.

“Well,  I am happy because… I just had sex! And it felt so good!” he practically sang the whole song. 

“So that barista you were talking about?” Rap monster asked, even though he was just as uninterested as everyone else.

“Yup!” Jungkook’s smile grew.

“Yay?” Jimin said with an unimpressed tone.

“What stupid thing is jungkook announcing now?” Jin asked as he an V walked into the room. 

“I had sex!” Jungkook smiled.

“Alright!” V said giving him a high five, the only one to really care about Jungkook’s sex life.

“Can we watching the movie now?” Jhope groaned

“C’mon guys! This is a big moment for me! I’m a man now! We are officially a dorm of men!” 

You almost laughed. “So having sex makes you a man?”

“As a matter of fact, yes it does.” Jungkook said looking over to you. “And now that everyone in this house has had sex at least once, we are now all men.”

Suga rolled his eyes. “This isn’t a “dorm of men” just becuase “we’ve all had sex”. Not all of us here have had sex, but we are just as much men as before you fucked a barista.”

Jungkook looked confused. “What are you talking about, we’ve all slept with someone… Me and the barista, Namjoon and that stylist, Jin and his ex, Tae and the thai girl, Hoseok and that girl at the fan meet, Jimin and his new girlfriend, and you and y/n, so that is all of us.” He completely missed the point Suga was trying to make.

“What? Yoongi and I havent had sex yet!” You said a bit offended.

“Jungkook how stupid are you, I never said anything about having sex with y/n.” Suga pointed out, calming you down about him talking about your relationship with the rest of the guys. “I haven’t had sex with anyone.” he said with a straight face.

“Wait, your a virgin?” you asked the question everyone was about to ask.

“Yeah” he said without any shame or embarrassment.

To you though, this didn’t make sense. “But… But how? I would have thought cuz- Well, girls always throw themselves at you!” 

He only shrugged “I’m not one for random hookups. You are technically my first legit relationship, so I thought I’d wait until you wanted to do it.” 

The boys all looked between one another, just as thrown off as you were. “So…” Jungkook began. “This means I am more of a man than Yoongi.” he said with a smirk

“No you aren’t!” Suga snapped. “Shut up and sit down so we can watch the movie!” 

Jungkook did so, a smirk still on his face as he sat between Jimin and Rap monster. V played the movie and for a second everyone was quiet. 

“…But even I’m not a virgin. Why do you feel the need to like, I don’t know, not start anything with me?” You whispered. You couldn’t let the topic go.

“Shhhh, movie time.” Suga said, his eyes were only on the tv.

But, It wasn’t long into the movie that Jungkook began giggling to himself. It got to the point where V paused the movie. “Dude, shut the fuck up!”

“Sorry sorry, Its just- I am more of a man that Yoongi!” he repeated.

“No you aren’t” you barked.

“Yes I am!

“Oh yeah?

“Yeah! Cuz scinece !” was the Jungkook’s sad explanation

Rap monster just glared at Jungkook, mumbling under his breath. “Tae just press play.”

“You know what?” you stood up ffom the couch. “Yoongi, let’s go to your room!”

Suga let out a groan of annoyance. “Why?”

“So I can make you a man!”

“Ok!” he jumped up and was already leading you to his room.

“Ew! Wait no!” Jhope shouted. “I don’t want to hear you two fuck!” Jimin screamed

“Then leave!” Suga said as he pulled you into his room.

Originally posted by strawberrie-kookie

Rap monster:

“Thanks for letting me get ready here!” you said as you tied the rope of your robe around your waist and walked into his bedroom to grabbed your makeup bag.

You could feel his eyes following you as you made your way around the place. “Well, what kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn’t let my princess get ready for our dinner date?” he asked as he came up behind you. His arms laced around you as he made eye contact with you through the mirror.

“You are an amazing boyfriend.” you said as you gave him a peck on the cheek.

“Oh, I bet you can give me more than a small kiss”

“I could, but I need to finish getting ready and you need to get dressed!” you reminded.

“Hm, but I don’t want to get dressed.” he hummed as he began kissing your neck.

He worked his way up to your lips and that’s when you were a goner. You couldn’t break away from him and you didn’t want to. It got to the point where he already had you sitting on the restroom counter. He stood between your knees, moving his hands all over you. It was when his hands went up your robe and slowly up your bare thighs that you stopped him. “Namjoon, I don’t want to do that yet.” you said with a heavy breath. “Like I want to, but I don’t want to”

“We can just not go to the restaurant.”  he said as he went for your lips again.

“No, Namjoon, I’m don’t know if I’m ready to have sex yet… I’ve never done it before.” you said softly.

Immediately, the way he looked at you changed and his expression became softer. “Well, I mean, y/n, its just me. You don’t have to be so shy about it. We don’t have to do anything yet, ok.”

“Yeah?” you asked nervously.

“Of course! And between you and me, I’ve never done it before either.”

You raised your eyebrows at him. “Really?”

“Yeah… I just… Kinda wanted to wait for the right person, someone who wasn’t going to use me for my money or like blackmail me or anything.” he shrugged.

“Oh wow.” was all you could say.

He kissed you again, this time in a sweet manner. “So with that being said…I really, really, really, really hope you feel comfortable enough with me to be your first time, cuz I really, really, really, really , really want to have my first time with you.” he smiled.

You smiled back. “Well, I guess we can just see how the date goes and how I feel about everything tonight…Maybe I might change my mind.” you said as you bit your lip.

“Then I’m gonna go change!” he said running out of the room and getting his stuff together.

Originally posted by forever-young-got7

Jhope:

You first met Hoseok through your jerk ex, Namjoon. He had been one of Namjoon’s best friends and he was the “treats you better than your boyfriend treats you” type of guy. Because of that, you fell for him. Having a better idea of how you should really be treated, you left Namjoon, loosing your group of friends in the process, except for Hosoek. He never left your side, but you weren’t sure if it was because he considered you a great friend or because he had strong feelings for you too.

Right now you were standing in front of the mirror, triple checking your outfit as you thought of things you noticed that made you feel as though he liked you back. He was always with you, always wanting to hang out one way or another.  he never spoke about any other girls with you or anything of the sort. No matter how much you bugged him about revealing crushes or what his type of girl was, he never told you. Since you both hung out alot, the club was always a fun place to go to, but Hoseok never danced with anyone but you (no matter how much other girls begged him). There is a memory with him that always stuck on your head. There was one night where you both got really drunk and just knocked out on his bed and when you woke up he was cuddled next to you.

But there were also alot of things that made you unsure about how he felt for you. He never seemed to make a move on you, ever. You would always try to slip a flirt in here and there and he would just wave it away or ignore it completely. You constantly made attempts to make him jealous, only for them all to fail. He never seemed nervous or upset or nosy about who you went on dates with and always heard you out when you vented about a “current” guy of interest. He never so much as had lingering hugs with you like you did too many times.

You didn’t know how he felt about you, but you were tired of keeping your feelings to yourself. “I don’t care anymore! I am not going another night without him knowing!”

Prior to him showing up you had a few bottles of liquid courage so you probably weren’t in the best mindset. So right now you stood in front of the mirror in your shortest skin tight dress… in hopes of seducing him. Yup, that was really your “best” plan and you had no other plan in mind.

“Ok y/n. You got this. You look hot! Like… so hot Yeah.. Ok … Ok! Hoseok is out there eating chips looking fine as fuck in that outfit you love him in, so you just gotta match his level… ok, ok, ok! I got this!” you said to yourself in the mirror trying to hype yourself as much as possible.

You walked out your room, peeking at him from the hall. Hoseok was just sitting at your kitchen island eating like before, watching the tv that was playing in your living room.

“So how do I look?” you asked strutting into the kitchen, trying to lighten the mood by dramatically posing (lowkey trying to show off your figure). 

He turned over to you, his jaw fell immediately. “W-wow!” His eyes trailed you from head to toe. “…wow”

“And look, feel the fabric!” you ran up to him, grabbed his hands and slid them up and down your waist before he had a chance to say anything. “Its all nice and soft!” you said “innocently”.

He laughed nervously. Uh, yeah, I like it.” he tried to hide his smile, but you didn’t hide yours as his hands stayed on your waist.

You rested your hands on his shoulders. “And what do you think of my new lipstick?” you asked as you puckered your lips. 

“Hot!” he blurted out

“Hot? You think it makes me look hot ?” you smirked.

“No! Well yeah! but like , in a friend way.. but then not! But like I’m not saying you’re not hot, cuz you are, but like ok but yes-”

This was the perfect moment and you took it. You didn’t think twice and you stopped him with a  kiss. Completely thrown off by your action, he pulled back. “Wh-wh- wha?” his face was stuck between a smile and a look of shock and he shook his head unable to process what just happened. “Did you just-” there was a smirk on his face, but it changed again to confusion “But like what?” Through out this whole time, he still didn’t let go of you and that was the only sign you had that he didn’t hate the kiss.

“Well, if my kiss didn’t give it away, I’m trying to show you i like you hobi, I’ve liked you for a long time” you finally said out loud.

“Y-you like me too?” a shy smile grew on his face.

Another burst of energy went through you, “Too? So you like me?” you asked excitedly.

“Well, yeah. I just-” he let out a happy chuckle “I was just scared to tell you…” he admitted. 

“Well, know that we both know our feelings for each other, why don’t we skip club night and go express ourselves in my room?” you asked as seductively as possible as you pulled him into another kiss.

That’s when he face burned red. “…So you mean like… do it? like… sex?” again he was back to being nervous, yet giddy.

“Yeah, what else would I be talking about?” you asked as you tugged on his arm to get up from the chair.

“Well.. the thing is… I never done it before” he said timidly.

“You’re a virgin?”

“…Yeah…”

“Well… we don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to. We can just stay here and kiss some more!”

“No! I want to! Like really want to! I… I just don’t want to… disappoint you - cuz like I’ve never done it….” he blushed.

“Oh Hoseok, believe me. If you can move your hips in bed as much as you do on the dance floor, no one is going to be disappointed!”

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

V:

It was another one of those heated moments between the two of you. You were in his bed, he on top of you and you were so ready to go all the way with him finally. With the way his lips crashed into your and how his hands moved on your body, you just couldn’t contain yourself anymore. You ripped off your shirt and you barely had the time to unhook your bra when his hands were already on the task. It was all so much and before you knew it his lips were all over you. You loved every second of it.

But then suddenly he just stopped! He sat up on top of you, catching his breath. He looked down at you with hungry eyes, but he still did nothing. “Why don’t we go back to the video games?” he asked randomly.

“What?!? Babe, no!” you said, pulling his down again and putting his hands back on you. You attacked his lips and then his neck as you pulled his shirt off.

Again he protested. “Babe, seriously.” he said as he lips left a kiss on your neck. “The game though!”

You could feel yourself becoming filled with insecurity and now you were the one to push his away. “Why do you want to play a stupid game?!? Is there something you don’t like about my body? Did I turn you off?” your voice cracked as you grabbed your short and covered yourself

“No!” He said immediately. “Baby, heck no!” he leaned down on you and kissed deeply you some more. “You are beautiful. I love your body!” he reassured as his arms snaked around you.

“Then what is it? You can’t seriously want to play a stupid video game!” you snapped as you again pushed him off.

“Its just… I’ve never done it before…” he said in almost a whipser.

You turned back to him. “What?!?”

“I’ve never done it before.” he said a bit louder.

“No, like are you serious? You never slept with anyone before?”

“No… And believe me I really, really want to sleep with you, but then I think too much and I stress myself out! I want you to be my first and all that, but I also want to be good for you. I don’t want you to be disappointed with me and whatever” he concluded with a mumble

“Aw, Tae!” you cooed.You grabbed him and pulled him to you again. “Just go with the flow. And trust me, the only way you are disappointing me is baby constantly stopping this from happening! ‘you said as you kissed him again.

He pulled himself up again to say something, but them he stopped himself staring down at you just as lustfully as he did before.

Originally posted by snowsensation

Jimin:

They sat across from each other A small table int he middle of the dimly lit dorm.

“I’m sorry jagi, I really wanted to take you out somewhere… but I didn’t want to risk the fans knowing about you. You are the one aspect about me that is private and i just want to keep it that way.” he said shyly.

Her hand reached for his. “Don’t worry Jimin, as long as I’m with you, I’m happy.”

His smiled widened. “You don’t mean that.”

“Jimin, you spent all day setting up these candles and making this dinner. I really appreciate this! I like that you really do put in time for me. That’s alot more than some people.”

“Yeah… but I kinda over cooked the fish and it’s only candles. It’s nothing too elaborate. I didn’t have as much time as i wanted to make everything how i imagined.”

She stood up from her chair and went up to him. “Scoot back a bit.”

“Why?”

“So I can sit on your lap.”

He did so and she placed herself on his thighs, her arms hung on his shoulders. His had went to her wait, keeping her in place. “Why did you want to sit on my lap?” he played stupid.

“So i can kiss you.” She said bringing her lips to his.

The heating moment was ruined when the front door busted open and his band members stumbled into the dorm. 

“Ugh I feel sick!” Suga groaned, grabbing holding his stomach. “Wooooooooooo!” Jhope howled as he “danced his way to the hallway. “Aaaayyyy, Jimin!” V said stammering up to the two of them.”You lost your V card now? Y/n, did you finally “make him happy” yet” he said through a drunk smile

Jin quickly came up behind V, pulling him away from Jimin and Y/n. “Sorry Jimin. I tried to keep them out longer but it was getting too hard.”

Y/n stood up from his lap, not looking too happy. He had to hurry up and make the guys leave. “Um that’s ok, but can you like make sure they all go to their rooms, so Y/n and I can at least finish eating?”

“Yeah, no problem.” he said giving Jimin and Y/n an awkward smile. Then the was off herding the 5 drunk boys to his room.

“Lose your V card? You’re a virgin?” Y/n’s voice went dark now that the guys were out of the room. She was not happy at all. She crossed her arms. “So this whole dinner was so that I would sleep with you?!? And are you complaining to the rest of the guys that i don’t sleep with you?!? That its my fault you haven’t lost it yet? I thought what happened between us was only between us?!?”

“Jagi, Just calm down a bit.” He said softly.

“I don;t want to fucking calm down! What else do they know about us? What else have you told them about me?!? Or should I ask what have you told them but not me? Cuz I for sure didn’t know you were still a virgin, even though I confessed to you that I wasn’t one anymore! So they know that too or what?!?”

“What? No!  I-I told them i was a virgin just cuz it came up in conversation in practice and they started picking on me, but I never talk to them about us. I never said anything bad about you, ever! Jagi, just let me explain!” he begged.

She stayed quiet, giving him a moment to talk (mostly to just glare at him with threatening eyes).

“So yeah, I’ve never slept with anyone yet, but that’s cuz I never been in a legit relationship and I don;t like the idea of just hooking up with someone and it not meaning anything. And, and, and I remembered how a few weeks ago, you told me you regretted your first time cuz you weren’t too into your ex and he wasn’t even romantic about the whole thing or loving with you in general. So I just thought that, you know, if I show you that even with my schedule, that i really do care for you, and that i don’t want to just sleep with you. Like, yeah i want to sleep with you…really bad. But like, I really do care about you y/n. So, like yeah, Tae said what he said, but the reason behind the dinner was not to get you tpo sleep with me, it was just to like, to show you that i care about us..”

He couldn’t quite determine y/n’s expression. Se didn’t look mad, but she didn’t looked please. She kinda looked like she was thinking things over, but then again he was too busy sweating out his nerves to really concentrate on how she was processing his frazzled explanation.

“…So you really haven’t had sex before?” 

“The more that gets said, the more of a loser I feel I am.” he said, feeling his cheeks burning. “I just never told you cuz I don’t… Its just embarrassing.”

She let out a sigh as she walked back up to  him, gently grabbing his hands. “Its like the more i get to know you, the more I wish Imet you sooner. I regret it even more that I wasted my first time on my loser ex.”

“Well, it’s not like i love you any less just cuz you slept with someone before me.” he reassured. “But you are you still mad?” he asked nervously.

“No.”

“…So what do you want to do now?”

“Why don;t we take this food to my place and finish your wonderful dinner cuz I don;t want to deal with drunk BTS… Then after dinner, we can see what we can do about your V card.” she smirked.

Originally posted by jimiyoong

Jungkook:

They sat on the couch watching a movie. Things were going well, Y/n was nestled in his chest, he had his arm around her. and they were cozy under the blanket. everything was great… until a sex scene came on.

Jungkook was suddenly hit with a wave of awkward and sexual tension. and his whole body tensed up. He wanted to know if he was the only one feeling this, so he peeked at y/n from the corner of his eye. To say the least, she was “shookth”. Just as awkwardly as he was, she tensed up too ans leaned away from him. 

That was when he panicked. “She is getting weird to! What do I do?!? Do I fast foward? No! Cuz that means i am acknowledging the awkward! Do I say something? Yes! Wait, no!” Wait, I should! But what?!?” 

The scene was still on. For some reason it never ended. “I HAVEN’T HAD SEX YET!” was what he blurted out. Then he felt mortified. “What did i just say?!?” he screamed internally 

He could feel y/n staring at him, but he didn’t dare move his head towards her. 

“What?” she asked, completely thrown off by his comment.

“I- I said that, uh, that, I- never had sex before…” he grumbled. “Why did i just say that again?!?” he screamed in his mind.

Y/n paused the movie (”thankfully” the sex scene was over). “And you said they why?” she asked,

He firced himself to shrug. “Just wanted to make things less awkward…”

“…I don’t think it worked.”

He forced himself to nod in agreement. He could feel his face burning like crazy.

“…So… You really never slept with anyone before?”

“still a virgin.” He mentally cursed himself for saying it out loud again.

“…Well, if it makes you feel any better… I am a virgin too…”

He let out the air he was holding in his lungs.”really?” he asked finally turning ti her.

“Yeah.”

“Cool - Wait, nit cool? well wait-”

“Jungkook I know what you mean.”

He smiled awkwardly, scratching the back of his head as an excuse to look away from her and recollect his thoughts. “So… Since neither one of us have done it yet… wanna do it?” it was worth asking since they were on the topic now.

“Yeah!”

He jumped up in excitement. “Really?”

“No stupid!” 

“oh.” he mumbled sinking back into his spot. with a pout.

“Maybe later on though… When I’m ready you know.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.’

“…Ok… I can wait till then, I want you to be my first,” he added shyly

“I do too… but i just want to make sure i am sure about it.” she said

Originally posted by theking-or-thekid

-Admin Boat

anonymous asked:

Hi Chekhov! I've been working many miles from home for a year now. Before that, I was away from home for school for 5 years. When I started working, it finally hit me that I actually missed the idea of home. My friends, even my family (I have some problems with them, which motivated me to not return, but I still cherish them). I just feel very isolated now. Do you ever feel homesick?

Hey! Thanks for being patient. I know I took a long time to answer this. I was thinking of how to explain it.

My gut reaction was actually to say “No, I’m sorry. I actually don’t ever get homesick.” Because… the truth is, I kind of don’t. I am one of those people that doesn’t… miss people? 

Sounds weird? Yes, maybe. I’m not sure how else to explain it. I am very much a fan of people, in general. And I have many people I love. But I don’t really experience the hallmark version of “homesickness” that I am familiar with. 

HowEVER, upon re-reading your ask, I think I might understand what you’re going through, despite being so negative at the onset. 

Let’s take it from the top.

When I was 10, my mother and I moved from our home country (Russia) to America to live there. It was my first big international flight. It was my first trip to America. I was excited, as only 10 year olds could be, because most 10 year olds lack the necessary foresight to realize what a big fucking change this was going to be. 

It was a fun thing for me.

For about a month.

And then, for the next 3 months it WASN’T fun as the real-world consequences of living 8,784 kilometers away from my grandparents, having to learn English, and going to school with kids who all thought my accent was funny (but not in a good sort of way) all crashed down on me. 

So, in a way, I was homesick.

Ok, I was just… homesick. I came home from school, curled up under my desk and cried. 

Obviously, this did not last forever. Eventually I adjusted. 

But, I think because of my crash-course in separating myself from the experience of bone-crushing isolation, my view of what was “normal” became skewed. For example, I knew (in theory) that it was normal to see your relatives fairly often. However, since we only saw ours every 4-5 years I grew accustomed to just NOT having people I liked in my life. 

(I’m going somewhere with this, I promise, stay with me.)

Anyway, that thing you said… ? About not being on great terms with family? I GET that. I get it HARD. 

When I finally left for college to live alone, it was almost entirely motivated by my desire to escape those issues. To me, being by myself was not a scary adult growing up experience. Running away and being alone was just the most logical solution to the problem. 

At that time, I moved to be about an hour away from my parents. I rarely visited. I felt no desire to. I felt alone, and that was just a relief and nothing short of it. 

In fact, I took this a step above and fled to ANOTHER country, because obviously the entertainment of not being able to speak, read or write the language of the country you’re living in is just irresistible. 

And I thought “damn, I’m a pro at this!” 

I was so used to the concept of being alone and out of my element that honestly, I never even considered it a real problem.

But the fact that I didn’t feel the strain of isolation doesn’t mean it didn’t have an effect on me.

I think I had psyched myself up for being such an untouchable person that I forgot to actually look back and check whether I was as tough as I imagined myself to be.

Because to be honest, yes.

Yes I do get homesick.

And the problem is… I don’t know where ‘home’ is anymore.

And this didn’t start when I got to Japan. I felt this way in America… and I felt this way in Russia, every time I went to visit. There was a tugging sense of not belonging… And the realization, at the same time that, even if I DID go back to the place I wanted to be, I could never feel “at home” there either. 

In fact, I think “homesickness” is not longing for a place as much as a time. 

Maybe we have fond memories of home. The feeling of loneliness is the byproduct of us remembering good things. It’s not something that’s a function of being in a different place as much as it is just a product of… growing up. Changing. Realizing that things are complicated, and wishing to go back to a time when things were LESS complicated. It’s a defense mechanism.

.

I think I stopped feeling homesick again when I realized that home will never be a place I can actually go back to - at least, not physically. 

It can only be something that I can go to through a photo album. Or when I’m laying in bed and, thinking, before I open my eyes “that sounds just like our summer house in Siberia…” and feeling my heart jump to my throat right before I force myself to remember I’m not there anymore. Or when I lay back in the grass and look up at the sky so I can’t see the edges and think “I don’t know where I am right now.”

(that’s my grandpa! this is an important photo for me. the feeling of this photo is not something i can feel again if I end up in front of that window. It’s a small fragment of ‘home’ lost in time, untouchable except in my memory.)

I suppose the important thing that I got from all of this (and I’m not saying you have to think about it that way!) is that home is just a place in your mind, and you can visit it whenever you want.

And as for the feelings of loneliness and homesickness? They’re VALID! They’re normal and honestly, you SHOULD feel them! It means you have good, safe memories to go back to. 

Try not to be too hard on yourself. Even if your relationship with your family is complicated, it’s ok to miss them. It’s ok to feel isolated. It’s hella stressful, and you are understandably going through a lot of stuff! 

Whatever happens from now on, you are HERE and you can make NEW memories and make a new home. And maybe sometime down the line, you’ll think back to NOW and think of that as home.

Laundry Day

Requested?: Yes

A/N: I know I haven’t posted in a while, forgive me. I love you guysssss xx 


 I let out a puff of air as I drop my giant bag of laundry on the ground.

This thing is fucking heavy!

I really shouldn’t wait so long to wash my clothes but I have my reasons; I live in a loft and there’s only one laundry mat in the building (for us young adults who don’t own a washer or dryer) so just about every time I go to do a load, there's a long ass line. Nobody has time for that. Also, I just got a new kitten a couple of weeks ago and I took him with me the last time I went so now he thinks that he’s supposed to follow me there. For example, tonight, he saw me grab my clothes and ran to the door to wait for me.

I wipe my sweaty palms off on my shirt and squat down to lift the bag again; the door is right there…I think I can make it lol. Just as I get a good grip on the bottom of it, my gray-haired kitten decides to hop on my lap, causing me to tumble and fall on my ass. “Ugh! Ozzie…really, dude?” I laugh before softly nudging him off of me.  

Just then, the black door labelled ‘LAUNDRY’ swings open when one of my neighbours walk out and for some reason, Ozzie takes it upon himself to run right in without me. I call his name but it’s too late, the entryway has closed behind him. I quickly run after him, dragging my one thousand pound bag along with me.

I push the door open. What I wasn’t expecting to find was a tall, brunette boy chasing my cat…now that I can get a better look, it appears that Ozzie has some type of fabric in his mouth. 

“Hey! Come here, little guy!” I hear the boy pant, still running all over the small room trying to get whatever my pet snatched from him. The boy finally has Ozzie cornered and he slowly approaches him, whispering “Okay kitty…can I have that back, please?” as if Cats understand/give two shits about the word, please. Ozzie manages to dash out between the guy’s legs and I can’t stop the laughter that pours out of me. Just about everyone else in here starts to cackle along with me and….I’m just now realizing it;s actually not too busy for once.

My kitten spots me across the room and trots over. I lean down, retrieving the red boxer briefs that now have a few holes in them from where it had been bitten. I wince, knowing that I’ll probably have to give this guy money to replace his underwear, depending on how much they really meant to him.

“Is he yours?” he chuckles, his voice still laced with fatigue. It doesn’t take long for me to notice how beautiful he is; His jaw looks like it was sculpted by god, himself and his smile?…Indescribable. I can’t make it obvious that I’m sitting here internally drooling so I nod and smirk, holding up his briefs “Is this yours?” I mimic his tone. He rolls his eyes and takes them from me, his face turning a bright rosy color. 

“the little stinker just went and stole it out of my basket” he snickers, bending down to boop Ozzie on the nose.

“I’ll buy you another pair, if you want” I sigh, pointing at the holes before glancing back up to his face to await his response. He tells me its no big deal and that he has other pairs with worse damage that he still wears. We laugh for a bit and talk more about how we both a have collection of old ratty clothing that we should have thrown away years ago. Even through all of this back and forth conversation, all I can focus on is how perfect he is.

After a minute or two, he mentions something about having to get the rest of his stuff out of the dryer. 

“Yeah..shit I almost forgot what I came here for” I joke before picking Ozzie up and beginning to drag my bag to the nearest washer. He offered to help but I politely declined.

“I mean you already saw my underwear, I might as well see yours” he winks. We hear a couple of ‘oooh's’ from the other college kids who were loading their clothes in or waiting around for their dryer’s timer to ring. We both laugh at the fact that these people thought he was being serious.

We say our goodbyes and I see him finish gathering his belongings before heading out. I shake my head at what just happened as I turn back to tend to my own business.

“Oh wait! What’s your name?” He calls out, struggling to hold the door open with his basket. 

“Y/n!” I shout back. He smiles.

“I’m Shawn. It was nice meeting you!” He lifts his knee to balance the basket so he can wave but he loses his hold and the entire basket topples over, the clothes sprawled out all over the ground and now covered in his liquid detergent. 

And as if it couldn’t get any more ironic, Ozzy jumps out of my arms, runs over to the pile, and snatches another pair of boxers. 

happy belated birthday  @magnusragnor  ♥

elle you are an incredible person and an amazing writer, i couldn’t be more grateful to have met you and call you friend. love you!!

i am so sorry it took me so long to post this but i hope you like it

(the biggest thanks to @maghnvsbane who was the most patient beta i could have asked for and went above and beyond when helping me with this)

Sometimes Alec reminds Magnus of a cat.

He can’t remember the first time the idea formed in his mind, but it had probably been before they started dating. Back then, Alec had acted like a stray cat, wanting affection but so afraid to receive it – letting his guard down one moment just to be defensive the next, wary and hissing every time he felt threatened. Magnus had found himself reacting in kind, scared of doing something that would only spook him further, instead extending a cautious hand and holding his breath, hoping it will be perceived like the offering it was but knowing it could be scratched instead.

Now that they are together, the image Alec conjures in Magnus’ mind is that of a content, spoiled cat. Never shy about seeking affection when they’re alone, closing his eyes and melting every time Magnus runs his fingers through his hair, practically purring when touched in the right places – and Magnus delights in discovering and exploring all the right places.

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archiveofourown.org
Flourish - Chapter 2 - wildcrisis - 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

Aizawa quickly learns that there’s a lot more to raising a baby than he’d ever thought.

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Quick Cult Camp Analysis

I want to talk specifically about this scene here. 

Because I realized something I’ve been missing the entire time and I can’t believe it took me so long to figure it out. And that was what Max meant by “Doing things Daniel’s way.”

All through the episode, Max, Neil, and Nikki are trying to get David to see what Daniel is trying to do. And they think it should be easy. 

Like Daniel isn’t exactly superbly subtle about what he’s doing. David is, bless his heart, just pretty damn oblivious. 

When Max said he was going to do things Daniel’s way, I never gave it too much a thought I thought it was just a thing that was said. That’s what people say in shows when they’re at the wit’s end and plan A isn’t working. And he was going to take a different approach but then I remembered. 

“People don’t want to think, Max. They just want to feel safe.” 

Through the whole episode Max is trying desperately to get David to notice what’s going on. Using the straight facts, that Daniel is literally right in front of David’s face doing all of this. But, that hasn’t worked. At all. So what is Daniel’s way? 

Appealing to David’s emotions rather than trying to point out to him what all is going on. Max knows from the previous episode just how important the Camp and being a Counselor is to David. So pointing out how much better Daniel is doing would definitely be an emotional blow. 

And I know this post was fairly unnecessary and people are a lot more observant and put pieces together a lot faster than my slow ass does. But for all the people like me…here ya go. 

Good For You

Originally posted by koenigreus

Peter Parker X (Fem!) Stark!Reader

Summary: The reader takes Peter out on a special date for their nine months anniversary. Kinda inspired by “Good For You” by Selena Gomez


“Peter”, you called.

Your boyfriend stopped and waited for you. It wasn´t easy to get to him through all the other teenagers walking to class, but you managed.

“Hey”, you greeted and kissed Peter on the cheek.

He smiled and blushed. Even though you´ve been dating for almost nine months now Peter was still nervous around you. 

“You know tomorrow is our nine months anniversary, don´t you? I have something planned. It´s kinda special so you should wear something nice. I´ll pick you up tomorrow at eight”, you rambled. 

Peter raised an eyebrow but nodded anyway. 

“Sounds good. But I´ve gotta go to class now, see you tomorrow.” 

He pressed a kiss on your cheek and hurried across the hallway to his Spanish class.


The next day you showered at half past six and then started to choose something to wear. 

There were dresses covering your floor, trousers all over your bed and shirts on your desk. 

You let out a frustrated sigh when you heard a laugh from your bedroom door.

“Do you need help?”, your father asked and made his way over to you.

You nodded.

Tony looked at the clothes all over your room, then at you, then at your closet.

“Where are you going anyway?”

You sat down on the floor in front of your closet.

“I made a reservation at a fancy restaurant. I told Peter to wear something nice but I wanna look more than just nice, I want this evening to be something special. He´s been the best boyfriend I could ask for and tonight I want him to be able to show me off, I want to be good for him.”

Tony nodded. He wasn´t happy when you told him you were dating Spiderman but he realized Peter made you happy, and that´s all he ever wanted for you.

“Fancy restaurant, so a dress. Something special, a dress and jewelry.”

He stood in front of your closet for a few more seconds before picking a dress. It was black and had a red stripe on each side. It was long enough to cover everything but still looked very sexy.

“Dad, I can´t wear this! Why would you even let me wear this?”

“For one it´s very special and it will look great on you. And Natasha bought you this dress and she´s gonna get mad if you never wear it.”

You took another look at the dress. You could cover it up with a jacket, wear your red high heels and maybe a necklace. 

“Hurry up, it´s almost half past seven”, your dad told you and left the room.

You put on the dress and the red heels and sat down in front of your make up. 

After a while you picked a natural look that would bring out your eyes but didn´t make it seem like you were actually wearing make up.

You grabbed your jacket and made your way to the front door.

“Wait!”, Tony called after you.

You stepped out of the lift again and looked at your dad, confused.

“I wanted to give you this.”

He held up a beautiful silver necklace with a single diamond at the end.

You smiled.

“Thank you, dad.”

You gave him a quick hug and let you put the necklace around your neck.

“Now hurry up. Have fun and don´t do anything I wouldn´t do.”


“Ned, what am I supposed to wear?”, Peter asked, panic in his voice.

“I don´t know”, Ned´s voice sounded from the laptop.

Peter ran a hand through his hair and looked at his clothes again.

“Something nice…”, he muttered.

It was frustrating. All he had were jeans and shirts, knowing (Y/N) Stark “something nice” wasn´t a science shirt.

“Do you still have the suit you wore to your uncle´s funeral?”, Ned asked.

A smile broke out on Peter´s face.

“You´re a genius! Gotta go now, otherwise I´ll be late.”

Peter shut the laptop and changed into the suit.

Just seconds after he had put on his shoes the doorbell rang.

“I´ll get it”, Peter called before May could make her way to the door.

“You look very handsome”, May told her nephew.

Peter just shook his head to tell her to be quiet, he didn´t want (Y/N) to hear.

After taking a deep breath he opened the door.

“You…Wow…I…Shit”

You laughed.

“You look good as well.”

Peter hadn´t realized what “something nice” meant to a Stark. (Y/N)´s eyes were glowing, her hair was in a beautiful braid, her dress showed off her legs and the necklace made her whole body look like it was on fire.

“Bye May”, you shouted and took Peter´s hand.


“I´ve never been at a restaurant like this”, Peter confessed.

He looked around. The women were either wearing dresses or skirts and blouses and the men were all in suits. 

“I know. I just wanted this evening to be really special”, you told him.

A waitress arrived and sat a basket of bread on your table.

“Are you ready to order?”, she asked.

You nodded and gave her your order.

Peter was overwhelmed so he decided to choose pasta.

“I feel like a child. Children order pasta”, he sighed after the waitress had left.

You took his hand, which was playing with his napkin.

“Pete, it´s fine. If you´re uncomfortable we can leave.”

He shook his head.

“No, I´ll be okay. I just wanna do this evening justice.”

You smiled at him but before you could answer your food arrived.


You ate in silence. Peter seemed to enjoy his pasta, you liked your meal as well.

“Are we gonna order dessert?”, Peter asked after a while of silence.

You shook your head. 

“I´ve got something planned at home. Why don´t you get our jackets and I´ll pay, then we can leave.”


“Thank you again”, Peter said.

You stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and looked him in the eyes.

“Peter Parker, stop thanking me. I planned this date because I wanted to do something special, not because I wanted you to thank me all the damn time.”

Peter smiled. He took your hand and gave it a kiss. As he let it sink again he looked you in the eyes.

“I love you, (Y/N).”

“I love you too.”

You took a step closer to Peter and put the hand he wasn´t holding on his shoulder.

“I love you so much.”

You leaned even closer until your lips met. Kissing Peter never got old. It always felt like a fire growing bigger and bigger until your whole body was burning. At the same time it felt like butterflies flying around in your stomach and honey dripping down your throat. 

“We should get going”, you whispered against Peter´s lips after the kiss.


You opened the door to your bedroom. 

The city lights were glowing outside your window and all over the room candles were burning. 

There were two glasses, a bottle and a bowl on your bedside table.

You walked over to your bed and sat down.

Peter looked at you. He had always thought you were the most beautiful girl, when you had arrived at his flat this evening he had seen you as hot and sexy, but now, your hair around your face after Peter had opened your braid, and candles making your skin glow, he was enchanted. 

“Come over here”, you told him.

Peter took a deep breath to calm himself and sat down next to you.

“Dad gave me a small bottle of champagne for tonight, and I´ve got strawberries.”

You handed him a glass and a single strawberry.

Peter took a sip. The champagne wasn´t like anything he had drunken before. It was kinda sweet and bitter at the same time. The strawberry however was just sweet.

You kicked off your shoes and took another sip of champagne.

“It took me so long to get dad to get me this bottle. And it´s not even a full bottle, just enough for two glasses. He doesn´t want me to drink. Like he wasn´t way worse when he was our age. I just don´t understa-”

Peter stopped you by pressing his lips to yours. He could taste strawberries and champagne. 

Your eyes fluttered shut and you tangled your hands in Peter´s hair, carefully twisting it.

He let out a moan and deepened the kiss.

“I love you”, he whispered.

You could only nod because Peter had started attacking your neck with kisses. He pressed gentle kisses all over your neck.

When he arrived at the hem of your dress he stopped.

“(Y/N), do you want me to continue? Tell me to stop, I don´t want to force you.”

You smiled. Even now Peter remained a gentleman and put your needs before his.

“I´m sure. I woulnd´t want it to be anyone but you.”

You raised your arms to let Peter pull the dress over your head. He let it fall to the floor. Now it was your turn. You got rid of his jacket and then started kissing his hands. You opened the buttons on his shirt and continued to kiss his arms until you reached his elbow.

You look Peter in the eyes, asking if he was okay with where this was going.

He nodded and you unbuttoned his shirt.

“I love you”, he said before you pressed your lips against his once again.


“Are you alright?”, Peter asked.

You turned in his arms to face him.

“Never better”, you replied with a dreamy smile on your face.

You had never thought the night would end like this but you were happy nonetheless. And you were glad your first time had been with the boy you loved.

“I still have a gift for you”, Peter whispered in your ear.

You shook your head.

“Tomorrow, I´m tired.”

Peter nodded and closed his eyes. 

Though he didn´t fall asleep until he heard your even breath next to his ear, felt your heart beating at the same time as his. 

“I love you”, he whispered into the night.

Angelina’s Best of August

What a great month August was! A few of my favorite people have birthdays this month, oh and me too. But let’s not forget about the awesomeness that is MinnCon 2017! I met so many amazing people and since I took a week off, the list may be a little shorter than usual got hella long and I don’t know how that happened, but then again, RPF Day provided some excellent material! Thank you all for your continued support. Now go show these authors some love!

I did have a little time to finish up two series and put up a long one shot for y’all…

On The Ropes Series - COMPLETE

Stronger Than Me - Jensen x Felicia Day one shot

The Simple Things Aren’t Always So Simple series - COMPLETE

Gil McKinney Drabble

Keep reading

shadowdragon8896  asked:

can you draw h2ovanoss? where Delirious found out something said and runs out into the rain, then Vanoss follows and catches him, comforts him by kissing him on the lips? sorry but i really love your art

Kisses and hugs and hands and tears are hard ;; I can kind of see the situation more like Evan accusing Del of something he didn’t do (like cheating or something) and Del denies then gets really upset about it before Evan realizes he was telling the truth. <3

///Don’t you love how my style changed 19384823 times before I got to the end-

Anyway, this (overly long) request took so long because, well, I made it long x’D I hope you like!

Lyrics from this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6OhzwkBAEc

Still working on requests X3 I’m gonna finish up two more before I take any more just to spare me from getting overwhelmed X”D

pro-tips for college
  • pls don’t feel like you need to rewrite your notes and make them pretty
    • if it helps you great! if it doesn’t you’re wasting time you could spend understanding the material. it took me a long time to realize that the aesthetic isn’t as important as the info. do what makes your notes productive for you!
  • you don’t have to study at your desk in your dorm room/apartment
  • you don’t have to study in the library
  • BRING SNACKS ALWAYS
  • be realistic about what you’re gonna get done
    • nothing is worse than bringing a really heavy textbook across campus to study and then not even opening it
  • really not joking about the snacks tho
  • water is good
    • i have a sippy camelbak water bottle and i can sip on it while i do stuff and i swear to god it’s a lifesaver and i love it
  • sleep
    • no really i mean it, sleep, i know pulling all nighters and cramming the night before will always seem like the best option, but a well rested mind is much more capable one
  • talk to your friends/family about stuff! 
    • even if it feels like you have no time to, i promise it’ll make you feel so much better
  • always carry an umbrella
  • always carry extra pencils/pens/erasers/lead
  • if you have contacts/glasses, bring the cases, cleaning cloth, extra saline whatever you might need with you (i’ve had many a contact freak out, trust me being blind and taking notes is not fun)
  • don’t stress lol yeah like that’s possible

asmajouch  asked:

Hi ! Just want to say how much I really enjoyed to read your imagines. You have such a very good talent. Could you please write an imagine where you and H are best friends with some benefits and he just writes "If I could Fly" and you listen it for the first time. Emotional things and then they kissed. Thank you so much ! Hope you'll read it❤️ Love from Morocco. Xox

I appreciate the time you took to write this to me, thank you! I’m sending you big hugs from Europe. Xx

He got of the plane and the moment his feet touched the ground, he had a feeling he would fall asleep while walking. The flight was long and tiring, but he knew he didn’t have time to rest. The memory of the last time he was with you, was keeping him awake. It was so long since he tasted your lips and felt your hand against his skin that he was wondering how he hadn’t got crazy yet.

He rememberd the last time you two were together, tangled in his bed and talking about everything he could possibly think of. It was after one of your quickies, the one that almost conviced him not to get on the plane for New York when he looked in your eyes and found the little spark in them, showing your emotions at the exact same moment. He wanted to stay and tell you about how he feels and what he desires, what he really wants from you. But he had to go so he picked up his clothes from the floor, dressed up and kissed you goodbye.

He had two weeks to discover what was really that little spark in your eyes for. He stayed in his hotel room at nights and thought about it, staring at the ceiling. In the last one he came to the realization that you two can’t be friends with benefits anymore. Your sweet pecks on his chin showed him that you didn’t use him just for pleasure. He could tell you enjoyed your time with him by the way you begged him to watch just one more episode of your favourite TV show with you before he goes back to his apartment. In the last two months he kept telling himself he was wrong when he felt the tangling in his stomach and thought it was a sign.

But the thing was that you both wanted something more from each other. It didn’t matter if you two showed it just with “You can stay at my place tonight, you don’t have to go home” or with constant staring at each other. The one hour sexual activities turned into one hour making out, then it turned to one hour cuddling. You didn’t care what you will do, all that mattered was that you’ll be together.

And this wasn’t going to help when one of you started the what-are-we conversation somewhen in the future.

The paper piece with the song in his pocket wasn’t going to help too. But he didn’t care, he wasn’t  scared anymore. He wanted to be with you and this is all that mattered.

When he saw you waiting for him in the airport, he almost pushed the child in front of him. Somehow he managed to run to you, without sending anyone to the hospital. He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you the closest to his chest he could. You both didn’t say a word until you two came to your apartment. After the long and slow kiss you shared he slightly stepped back so he could look in your eyes that never failed to take away the breath from his lungs.

“I-I wanted to show you something” he started, pulling the piece of paper out of his pocket and handing you two you with shaking hands. “I wrote this when i was in New York. It’s for you.”

It took you a minute to read it and to realize the meaning of it. A love song. He just gave you a love song.

“You wrote this for me?” you asked in a complete shock.

“Yes” he bit the inside of his cheek before he continued, “And i’m falling in love with you, Y/N. I can’t hide it anymore and i don’t want to keep pretending that your body is all i want from you. I want you, all of you. I want to see your messy hair after you slept on my pillow not just once but every day. I want to dance with you, drinking alchocol in the middle of night. I want to say that i love you. So yes, here it is - i love you. I’m not taking that one back.”

By the time he finished, his bottom lip was shaking and the corners of his eyes were filled with tears. Maybe before a hour he was sure and convinced you feel the same about him, but now there wasn no doubt in his mind that you would tell him to leave and to never call you again.

“I love you too” you whispered, shaking with the need to hug him. All you wanted was him, nothing else. And that was why you said it louder so he could hear you and stop looking you with those sad green eyes of his. “I love you too, you fool. Don’t cry.”

But you started crying too. And you both cried that night, holding each other in your arms and sharing long and deep kisses. It was because you were relieved, relieved that you both love each other. And that was enough.