this took me a very very long time

anonymous asked:

I just have no fucking idea what my gender is im so frustrated and sad and scared I just want to understand I hate this I don't know what's going to happen dude what do I do

I’m sorry it took me so long to reply to this!!

I wish I could give you some save-all solution that would lead you to the answer, but unfortunately, no such thing exists. What you’re going through is very tough and very personal, no one else, myself included, will be able to give you the answers you’re looking for.

It’s going to take time. That’s one of the hardest things to accept, but rushing yourself only causes more distress. Just try to take a deep breath and slow down. You don’t need to have everything figured out, there’s no cutoff to discovering your gender identity. And really, gender is different for everyone, don’t try to make yourself fit into someone else’s idea of gender. 

Try different labels, pronouns, gender expressions, see if any of them feel right or better than others. It’s not so much about finding out exactly what you are, but feeling comfortable in your skin and how the world addresses and perceives you.

Finding and labeling your gender is a very personal thing, it’s for you. Once you let yourself just be, at least in my experience, it’s a lot easier to find yourself. I obsessed over figuring out if I was actually bi and I got nowhere until I finally stopped giving a shit and just decided to feel it out, not force anything. I think that might be a good approach for you. If you feel like you’re trans one day, then that’s what you are for that day. If the next day you think you’re genderfluid, then that’s what you are. The next day you feel nonbinary? Then that’s what you are. Your gender doesn’t have to be set in stone, just be yourself.

I know none of this will relieve your stress and I’m so sorry about that. I wish I could do more. Feel free to hit up my inbox if you need someone to rant to or anything, really. <3

I drew a compilation of just a few of my favorite Ritsu moments!! (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧

ive never seen a post like this be made for anyone but cis girls w excess testosterone so:
to all trans women who arent hairless, white & scrawny; your hair isnt disgusting or mannish. a lot of us are born with thick, course hair that grows on every part of our body.
yeah, some cis girls struggle with this too, but its very rare for one of them to have as intense and thick hair growth as we do.
for trans girls who cant shave because its overstimming, cant afford shaving materials, have hair that grows too fast to control, who cant afford laser, who cant access hormones, etc etc, your hair does not make you any less of a woman.
as a trans woman with dark thick body hair all over my body, it took me a very long time to accept my hair. a lot of trans women’s dysphoria is far too strong for them to not shave, which is fine, but for me i simply accepted that my hair is not managable and i enjoy presenting with body and facial hair while still being a woman.
this does not make you a faker, or a autogynephile, or a man. your hair is your body and has nothing to do with how you identify. it doesnt make you slobbish, unhygienic, mannish, or unkempt. people who misgender you for something as irrelevant as body hair are irrelevant.
i hate asking things like this but if people could spread this post i would appreciate it; a post like this would have really helped me earlier in my transition.

This is my (very very very overdue) gift for the lovely and amazing @longstoryshortikilledhim as part of the @verymerrykylux​ gift exchange. Thank you so much for your patience with me! They asked for a scene from one of their fics, and I picked this beautiful scene from chapter 2 of their a m a z i n g fic, Psychomania. I highly recommend this fic if you haven’t already read it. It’s a beautifully written piece, and I can only hope I managed to do it justice. 


For centuries

Lawlu ~ requested by jinxstandsforjinxdurrr


A little Draco x Reader imagine for @yrgl00mygrlfriend!  I’m SO sorry this took me so long…I’ve been busy moving back to school & starting my new classes!  Nonetheless, I loved this idea…I altered it a little bit unknowingly as I was writing it, so I hope you don’t mind hehe.  Enjoy! xx

Imagine: I was thinking about a very formal ball at the Malfoy manner. Y/N’s family is another very prestigious family and is invited. And the whole time, she notices Draco staring at her from above his drink, and they like flirt with each other even tho they’re across the room from each other? Eventually he asks her to dance, and he’s just very sexy and gentlemanly and it’s just super flirty?

WARNING: Sexual innuendo?

Originally posted by fallingforamalfoy

Your eyes wandered idly about the great ballroom before you.  They scanned across the length of the elaborate emerald drapery, to the exquisite crystal glassware atop the grand oak table that stretched for miles.  You found them somehow searching for something, really anything, that even remotely hinted at a sense of subtlety.  A smile tugging at the corner of your mouth and a shake of your head indicated the failure to find such a simple element.

Malfoy Manor was certainly an amazing sight to behold, decked out in fineries some wizards and witches may only ever dream of.  In a sense, you were used to the flamboyance and the wealth.  Although your family’s taste wasn’t nearly as boastful as the famous Malfoys, your wealth and social status very nearly matched theirs.  As a result, you were often invited to high-end parties and events; such was the case that night, as you scoffed at the arrogance that was so obviously displayed.

You drummed your fingers on the cold marble of the small bar in front of you, your other hand preoccupied with holding your chin up.  The shimmering jet black dress you wore shivered with every move you made.  It pooled at your feet like a waterfall, and boasted a slit that cut like a knife to expose a good portion of your porcelain skin.

“Your firewhiskey on the rocks, Madame,” the quiet, polite voice of the house-elf broke your lazy stare as he extended a drink to you.  In turn, you smiled at the little bartender perched artfully on a tall stool and gratefully took the chilled glass from him.

“Thank you very much, sir,” you winked and placed a galleon in the tip jar next to him.  He seemed to perk up and offered a grateful little smile as you sauntered into the middle of the ballroom.  

You had to admit, the music was delightful; a perfect blend of upbeat vivacity yet a distinct note of serenity. Drink in hand, chilling the tips of your fingers, you swayed slowly in the middle of the dance floor.  You caught sight of your parents who quirked their eyebrows but smiled softly at you.  Honestly, it didn’t matter to you that you were alone, or that you were dancing by yourself.   You were perfectly content as an individual in a room full of stuck-up rich people.

After a few moments, you twirled around, letting your water-like gown flow seamlessly across the floor.  You giggled to yourself as the firewhiskey began to take its effect.  Suddenly, you felt a pair of eyes on you.  Truth be told, you were aware of many sets of eyes fixated on you, whether it be for reasons of lust or rather judgment.  However, this was different.

Your gaze fell upon a white-blonde-haired man, sipping his own whiskey sans-rocks.  Quickly, you recognized him as Draco Malfoy, the son of your gracious hosts.  He had an impressive stature: tall, slender, but perhaps a bit muscular as well. Adorned in such regal dress robes, it was hard to tell.  What really crept under your skin, though, were his eyes; the same cool grey eyes that lay upon you that very moment.  Your attraction to him was immediate, but you merely nodded curtly and took a generous sip of your stiff drink.  Can’t seem too eager, now.  He offered a smirk, one that made your insides tighten, and raised his drink to you before mirroring your sip.

It wasn’t long before you caught a glimpse of him making his way through the crowd, headed in your direction.  You tried not to notice the distance between you growing smaller, but realizing your meeting to be inevitable, you gulped another shot of your drink down and tossed your silky hair to the side.  Your eyes met his and you placed a hand on your hip expectantly.

“Well, well, now, who do we have here?” Draco positively purred.  He had never seen such an alluring individual before.  To him, you were so vastly attractively outspoken yet you hadn’t breathed a word.  You cleared your throat.

“Y/N Y/L/N,” you said simply.  “I presume you’re Draco, yes?”

He quirked his eyebrows.

“The one and only, darling,” Draco smiled smugly.  You nearly frowned at his matter-of-factness, but something about this man was simply irresistible.  Instead, you found your mouth struggling not to curl into a coy smile.

“Ah,” you nodded and raised your eyebrows, looking to the bar again.  “Well, it was a pleasure, Mr. Malfoy…”

Yes, keep him wanting more.  Men like it when you play hard-to-get!  You started for the bar when you felt a warm hand envelope yours.  You followed the hand to its source and found Draco, whose eyes were narrowed.

“We’ve only just met, Y/N.  I thought we’d get to know each other,” his voice was quieter and seemed somewhat genuine.  Your expression softened and you turned towards him again.  A small smile danced on your lips.

“Alright, why not?  But I will be needing another drink then,” you winked and his eyes brightened.  His cool façade slipped back on like a glove.

“Allow me,” Draco took hold of your empty glass and escorted you back to the bar, your arm looped through his. You couldn’t help but blush; his gentlemanly manner was refreshing compared to the heavy cockiness of well-off wizarding families that lingered in the air around you.

The little house elf-turned-bartender smiled as he caught sight of you approaching.  His eyes flicked to Draco, however, and his expression faltered slightly. You could detect a note of nervousness on his face as his superior closed the space between them.

“Another firewhiskey for the lovely lady,” Draco commanded.  You frowned. Although his tone was not laced with any malice, it was authoritative in manner.  Draco looked somewhat impatient as the house elf scrambled for a clean glass. You cleared your throat.

“Please, take your time, sir,” you shot Draco a warning glance before offering a reassuring smile to the bartender. “I’m not in any rush.”  

He let out a sigh of relief and his tensed hands seemed to relax a bit.  Draco gazed at you quizzically.

“You speak to all help like that?” a smirk played on his thin lips.  You shrugged and crossed your arms across your chest, only emphasizing it more in the process.  You could feel the pale man’s eyes wander south.

“I respect all creatures, Mr. Malfoy. Perhaps you’d find you’d benefit from sprinkling a bit of kindness amongst your interactions,” you rolled your eyes.  His eyebrows raised and a smile broke out on his face, which stayed even as the bartender handed you your refreshed drink and you tipped him another galleon.

“Y/N Y/L/N, you are intriguing,” his voice was low and borderline sexy.  There was something addictive about your manner and care that Draco loved.  Your throat tightened and your stomach clenched at the number of sensations coursing through your body.  His voice seemed to caress the inside of your ear, his body loomed in your sight, powerful and strong, and his scent (maybe pine?) was overwhelmingly alluring.  Trying to play it off, you shrugged your bare shoulders.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me, Draco,” the corner of your ruby lips turned up in a playful smirk before taking a long sip of your drink.  You could just make out a tinge of pink rising to Draco’s cheeks, and you couldn’t believe how satisfied you were that you were having the same affect on him.  To your surprise, he grabbed your drink and set it back down on the bar.

“Let’s see if you can dance as lovely with another person,” he purred and slipped his hand over yours.  For such a striking, cool looking individual, his hands were surprisingly warm.  You giggled and tossed your hair back.

“Shall we?” you winked and strutted towards the dance floor.  Every once in a while you caught the blonde man’s gaze wandering to your exposed leg as it peeked from the depths of your dark gown.  You rolled your eyes and pulled him close as the dance began.

“You could at least try to make your glances less conspicuous,” you whispered. He blushed immediately but chuckled.

“M’terribly sorry, love,” his hand on your waist pulled you tight against him and his lips were nearly against your ear. “I can’t help myself.”

You shivered slightly and smirked. Pulling back to create a small space between your two bodies, you found his wandering grey eyes.

“You don’t look so bad yourself, Malfoy,” you wrapped your arms around his neck loosely.  “Only I know for a fact I’m better at keeping my eyes to myself.”

He was laughing, suddenly, and you quirked your head.  He twirled you in his arms and caught you with your back pressed against his chest.

“Don’t think I haven’t seen you admiring me, Y/N,” he cooed in your ear, tracing a hand down your side to your hip. You bit your lip as he twirled you back to face him.  His eyes were lustful.

“Even now you can barely contain your attraction,” he swayed with you.  You felt a tinge of embarrassment and gulped.  You’d been found out.  Was I truly that obvious?

“Well, then I’d say we’re even,” you plucked up your courage and slid your hand up his chest and to the base of his nape, twiddling with the fair hairs that resided there.  You couldn’t describe your immediate infatuation with him. It was his turn to shiver and he pulled you closer.

“Won’t you come with me on a walk through the gardens, darling?” his hands were lingering astonishingly close to your backside.  You grabbed his wrists and pushed back to hold his hands at length.

“That sounds lovely,” you grinned. Any chance to be alone with this intriguing, seductively sly man made your heart jump into the back of your throat with excitement.  Every inch of your skin tingled with anticipation as Draco shot you an incredibly white smile and tugged you through the crowd of curious, wary eyes.  You smiled and nodded at your parents to indicate that everything was okay.

The gardens of Malfoy Manor were nothing less than beautiful; extravagant and too much for your taste, no less, but utterly beautiful to the eyes and the nose.  Crimson red roses decorated the walkway, paving the way towards an elegant fountain.  If you hadn’t been in such a lust for Draco’s touch and attention, you would have loved to stop and admire everything.

Draco pulled you over behind the hedges, scattered with white roses, and placed his hands on your bare shoulders. In the moonlight, his smile practically lit up as he slowly traced his hands down the length of your figure, stopping at your showcased hips.  Both of your breaths caught in your throat for a brief moment as your eyes met.  It was quiet, save for the faint sound of music and an owl somewhere far off.

You threw yourself into his arms. His lips were attached to yours within mere seconds, and proceeded to attack mode.  Your kiss was hungry and needy as your hands knotted in his slicked-back hair.  Draco’s hands found your arse and he plucked you off the ground, but not before giving it a firm squeeze.

You were wrapped around him in every sense; physically, emotionally, mentally.  The two of you broke for mere seconds, heavy breathing clouding each other’s eyes.  Draco’s smirk could be seen in the dim light.

“You truly are intriguing, darling,” he purred.  You smiled and pulled his lips to yours once more.  An urgency awakened in you for the Slytherin Prince before you.

some general tips for people with executive dysfunction

1. invest in a can of dry shampoo!!! they’re not particularly expensive (mine is batiste brand, i got it for $8).  showering a lot can suck for low energy people, esp people who are trying to get their hair to adjust to getting washed less offten (hair gets oily very quickly after long periods of being washed every day) and this can save lot of time while also making you feel clean!! 

2. BANANAS ARE A GODSEND. i get very sick in the morning, and im also perpetually low on energy, which usually makes me opt out of breakfast. but bananas are quick, easy, filling, and (fun fact) make you less nauseous somehow? idk. they’re great. if you never eat breakfast like me, try to start buying bananas more often as its a really good backup 

(this one’s kind of big so ill break it down so its easier to read) 

3. clean stuff as soon as possible rather than waiting for it to build up. it doesn’t have to be huge, time consuming tasks. just small steps to save yourself from some stress in the future. 

  • pick up clothes from the floor the second you take it off and put it in the washing machine. you don’t have to turn it on or do the washing now, but now its off your floor which is great!
  • throw stuff in the trash can the first time around instead of having it pile up. take empty cups/plates into the kitchen right away (you can go around the house, or even just your room and pick up dishes whenever you need to take a break from working or studying)
  • quickly do your bed first thing!! it doesn’t have to be extremely neat, honestly just dust off your covers, fold it at the foot of your bed and fluff your pillows a bit!! it took a minute but now your room looks a lot cleaner!

4. break up everything into small tasks/create routines that are very specific! my example will be showering.

  • when i shower, i break it up into very very specific parts. the first thing, probably the hardest, is getting myself in the shower. focusing on how showering is not a stressful activity, how it feels good and how good you feel after can definitely minimize the amount of time i spend psyching myself to get up, as overtime the idea of showering becomes an intrinsic part of your day rather than a task or chore. 
  • after i get myself in, the hardest part’s done, and i can relax. i do my routine, which at this point, has become a no brainer. my routine is: shampoo, conditioner (but i dont wash it out), body wash/soap, face wash, brushing my teeth (yes i brush my teeth in the shower fuck off two birds with one stone), and then finally i wash the conditioner out! this is weird but if im done extra quickly, i’ll let myself just stand there until the water runs cold bc idk i really like showering?? 

starting a new routine is always difficult but just stick with it. you can start introducing a routine one task at a time, you can remember to just wash your hair and then get out if thats all the energy you have today. and dont be ashamed about music in the shower!!! i played music on my phone in the shower every day for a year maybe? ive stopped now bc my last phone’s headphone port broke bc of water damage but anyway thats not relevant 

5. keeping a calendar and planner is great in feeling good and organized. you dont have to get a super expensive bullet journal, just start small. i got my current calendar as a christmas gift (theres food puns every month i love it) and my school provides planners. dont feel obligated to use it EVERY DAY and constantly have the best handwriting. just keep it on your desk in class and at home for whenever you need it

6. music and podcasts are good for any time. waking up but feeling super anxious and you dont want to get up? music/podcasts drown out your thoughts and can help you start your day in a nice way. studying and feeling really bored and annoyed?? listen to your favorite songs. trying to go to sleep but your annoying brain wont shut up? nice chill podcasts, or even just longish youtube videos help. 

  • music (especially instrumental music) is best for when you need to think and focus on a task. podcasts are good for menial tasks that dont require you to think that much, as podcasts are more engaging and have you focus on something so you feel less bored/procrastinatey!!! 
  • my favorite songs to listen to when studying are actually playlists ive made! (here and here) and my podcast/video recommendations are off topic and grumpcasts/long game grumps videos, but i understand that this isnt for everyone (cw: lots of swearing, dark humor, stupid casual racism/sexism/transphobia/ableism but its just something i put up with bc i really like michael jones)

i can’t really think of anything else right now!! these are just all the things i do that actually do help a lot

i see lots of sentiment in the studyblr community that basically says “your future self wont be pleased with your pathetic excuses right now :)” and stuff like that and just…please remember that executive dysfunction is never “just an excuse”, it is a legitimate reason for not being able to complete tasks. feeling frustrated with yourself is normal, but you should never be made to feel guilty for not being able to do something, no matter how menial or how crucial. you’re great and you can do this <3

Constant as the stars above
Always know that you are loved
And my love shining in you
Will help you make your dreams come true
Will help your dreams come true

The lamb lies down and rests it's head
On it's mother's down in bed
Dolphin plays in the moonlight's glow
And butterfly dreams of a violet rose
Dreams of a violet rose

I'll cradle you in my arms tonight
A sun embraces the moonlight
The clouds will carry us off tonight
Our dreams will run deep like the sea
Our dreams will run deep like the sea

Constant as the stars above
Always know that you are loved
And my love shining in you
Will help you make your dreams come true
Will help your dreams come true

This is for @hypes-peak-academy, who left the prompt opened.

Hellohello! I am your very tardy secret santa for @xmas-usukexchange2016.Terribly sorry for the long wait! It took me a very long time to think of what to draw… (´;д;`) But I wanted to do something fluffy and happy for our two loveable dorks. 

I tried a new colouring style for this, it was really fun to do aha. I really hope you like it! Have a happy new year, sweetie!  ゛(*´ω`;;;pq  

  • A Saitama-burrito, safe and warm inside his blanket roll.
  • Genos letting Saitama step onto his feet and hug him, so that they tromp around the house as a two-headed beast.
  • Saitama tousling Genos’ hair; Genos doesn’t really understand this, but has learned to enjoy it quietly.
  • Genos bakes when he’s stressed. If he’s very stressed, the batch will burn and he’ll be even more frustrated. The kitchen is very full of steam.
  • Sometimes Saitama falls asleep watching TV, and it usually takes Genos a while to notice because he pays such rapt attention. 
  • Genos looks up some cactus care tips online and very carefully and subtly starts to ensure that it doesn’t drown an overwatered death.
  • One time when Genos took too long coming back Saitama found him sitting on a park bench with three cats on his lap and one on each shoulder. Genos is pretty unapologetic about it. “They didn’t want me to leave, Sensei.”

pt. 1  |  pt. 2  |  pt. 3  |  pt. 4  |  pt. 5  |  pt. 6  |  pt. 7

Stiles pulls his ragged fingernail from between his teeth and bursts out impatiently, “Well?”  Lydia’s been holding onto the thing for seventeen whole seconds (yes, he’s been counting) and she still hasn’t said anything.

She idly flips the card over and looks up at him, eyebrows raised.  “‘Well,’ what?”

Lydia,” he flings out his hand towards the wrinkled, now-soft paper she’s holding.  Spit that had been clinging to his thumbnail hits Lydia in the thigh with the action and she glares at him.  Stiles bravely soldiers on, hoping him ignoring it will lead to her ignoring it, “do you know what this is?”

He folds his arms over his chest, hands hidden under his biceps so Lydia will stop trying to detach his thumb from his body through nothing more than sheer willpower.  If anyone was going to accomplish it, it was going to be her.

It semi-works.  At least she eases back to scrutinizing the address printed on the card that Derek’s girlfriend had flicked at Stiles’ head and sniffs.  “It’s a business card that was very clearly trash at some point.  And probably should be trash again.”  She holds it out to him like an antiques expert who’s just told him his retirement is nothing more than a spoon from the 1990s that she could find at Kohl’s for a, rather reasonable, seventy-five cents.  She checks back in with his expression and it makes her outstretched arm falter.  “Yet looking at the crazy-eyes you’re currently sporting,” she says, rolling her eyes, “I’m finding myself preparing for sinister plots and fanciful delusions.”

Stiles holds up a deductive finger, nodding, and says cleverly, “It only looks like a business card.  What that is, is a trap.  A Carrie-covered-in-pig’s-blood-humiliated-at-the-prom trap.  Your future husband’s current girlfriend doesn’t just give you a little starred, ‘he is here, you are x miles away,’ map, okay?  That would be way more helpful than they are known for being.”

Keep reading

I love you

Part 9

This is very long overdue and I am so very sorry that it has taken me over a month to get this written. To everyone who kept asking me about it, there was just a lot going on and I have’t had a lot of time to write and I’m sorry. I’ll do my best to make sure you guys don’t wait more than a week for the next part!

Also, I am always accepting requests for fics. I’m working on three others which is another reason why this took so long to crank out. And I also love feedback on my writing so don’t be shy. 

But yeah… part 9. I’ve got some big stuff for part 10 so get ready. ;)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8.

Word Count: 4,344


A warm fire crackled with life mere inches from my freezing toes.

I was perched on the coffee table in the living room of Rhysand’s house—my boyfriend’s house.

God, that was still weird to say. Rhysand is my boyfriend. He had officially asked me over two months ago but it felt like it was only yesterday.

We were cuddled up on the couch in my apartment just after thanksgiving. The credits to the movie we had just finished were rolling across the screen. Rhys was on his side and I was on my back, nestled neatly against his chest.

The scent of jasmine and citrus and the sea was stuffed into my nose with him so close, and his warmth was making me drowsy.

A sleepy smile tugged at my lips as I felt his fingers brush my cheeks. His muttered “Feyre” made me open my eyes halfway to look at him.

“Hmmm,” I murmured sleepily to him.

He stroked my cheek gently, trying to coax me out of my disoriented state, all it did was lull me to sleep some more.

“Feyre, I— you know I really like you—“

“Mhmm.” My hand felt its way up his chest and hooked around the back of his neck. My fingers had woven their way into his silken hair.

“And we’ve been going out for a few weeks,” he paused and I had felt the weight of his eyes on my face.

“Feyre are you awake?”

My eyes fluttered open to meet two pools of violet staring intently at me.

“Feyre I—would you, I mean,” he huffed a frustrated sigh. “What I’m trying to ask—ugh. Feyre… will you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?” The words tumbled out of lips and fell upon me like a warm blanket.

I gazed at him for what felt like an eternity, my brain taking its time to process what he had asked. Rhysand, this amazing person who I had come to know asked me to be his girlfriend.

Rhysand asked me to be his girlfriend!

Keep reading

Chronic Illness and Gaslighting

(Just going to start with a big ol’ disclaimer that this piece considers the concept of gaslighting in a very abstract sense, and takes the dynamic outside of the realm of purposeful abuse. Psych majors, please be nice.)

A few weeks ago, I made a very big life decision. I had thought about it for a good long time, and only took action when I was 100% sure of myself. I approached my doctor for assistance… only for him to misunderstand my intent, despite multiple explanations and rephrasing. Not only that, but he consistently encouraged me to do the exact opposite of what I’d planned. He brought up the fact that I should consider cognitive behavioral therapy, despite the fact that my concerns were physical, not mental. 

You know how this story ends. I doubted myself. I wondered if I was truly making the right decision, even though I had thought about it for ages, even though I had just been feeling incredibly self-assured… I believed in myself, and it only took one person to shut that down. Now, my plans are on hold as I search for a doctor who will take me seriously, and I am constantly thinking things like “maybe I was just being a wuss, maybe he’s right, maybe I’m going about it all wrong, maybe I’m imagining it, maybe I’m just being dramatic." 

Like I said, this is probably very, very familiar to you.

True story: after about two years of chronic illness, I no longer trust myself and my judgement. And it’s not because my judgement has turned out to be wrong–in fact, my judgement has been proven correct 99% of the time. But with the constant contradictory input I receive from others, that confidence just collapses. 

Enter the concept of gaslighting. Wikipedia describes gaslighting as:

a form of mental abuse in which information is twisted/spun, selectively omitted to favor the abuser, or false information is presented with the intent of making victims doubt their own memory, perception and sanity. Instances may range simply from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred, up to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim.

Now, as much as I’d like to believe it, there is no conspiracy, no underground group of people committed to messing with you. In most cases, there isn’t even a plan or an intent to abuse. Nonetheless, the dynamic described here is spot-on: spoonies are incredibly likely to experience the emotional effects of gaslighting throughout their medical journey.

Think about all the times a few words from a doctor or a loved one have left you wondering if you were just imagining your symptoms. Think about all the times when you’ve pushed yourself to do something you know you can’t do, because someone else told you you could and should. Think about the state of your self-confidence when it comes to your health. It may stand tall, but it topples at the slightest of breezes.

You are being gaslighted. By doctors, by society, by friends and family, even by yourself. Every day, the small contradictions chip away at your confidence, your belief in your ability to determine what’s best for you.

So remember this the next time you don’t trust your own judgement. Remember that your judgement is digging through layers upon layers of self-doubt to get to you. Respect all that it’s overcome to give you whatever signal you’re getting, and listen to yourself above all others.

My feedback on Anti-Month:


I honestly can’t put into words or expressions on how fun and amazing this month has led up to. It’s been a roller coaster ride of emotions, mixing the feeling of suspense and excitement into one BIG finale. If I’m honest, I haven’t experienced something this thrilling in a very long time and I must thank Jack and Robin for making this for us. 

Jack, from the creepy acting to the cryptic text, I was on the edge of my seat, getting chills up my spine for each new video to come out. You took a concept created by fans about the dark side of you and incorporated that idea into your videos to make the channel more spooky for Halloween. That is so unique and I love how well you executed it till the very end. What impressed me the most wasn’t just the performance of it all, It was your efforts and fondness you had of this “insane” character that really sold me. What a fantastic show!

 Also, please lets all take a moment to appericate Robin, the mastermind editor behind all the magic. Every glitch you saw, every static noise, every filtered clip, Robin was behind it all. Now I’m in a technical school where I go to learn Multi-Media Production (aka YouTube, Photography, learn to be Adobe Certificated). Robin is INCREDIBLY skilled in using Premiere to create all those little details.Take it from me who has been using the program for about 4 years now. I use Premiere every day and I can’t begin to imagine how he went about doing it. So honestly major props to Robin for planning out those videos and making a month feel like a horror film.

Truly amazing fellas I fvcking love both of you

Thank you so much 

- Haley D



Are you confused after 6x20? You’re not alone.
I think I have solved the entire show. Everything.

In this master theory post, I explain:

- who is Mary Drake?
- was CeCe lying in 6x10? To what extent?
- did CeCe know she is adopted or did she think that was her immediate real family?
- who killed Jessica?
- why was Jessica killed?
- who killed Charlotte?
- why was Charlotte killed?
- who is Bethany Young?
- what is Rollins up to?
- who is Uber A?

This took forever and a day to prepare. I came across so many plot holes when writing this that contradict me, but I worked a way around them ALL. I think this is a very consistent and possibly true theory. 

WARNING: it is VERY, VERY long. But it’s ALL relevant; answer after answer after answer.

Not going to waste anymore of your time. Please, ENJOY!

Keep reading


anonymous asked:

I live for the moments where Isak makes Even laugh.

hello my amazing anon! i’m very happy that you decided to send this to me. i’m sorry it took me so long to reply to you. i’ve actually written this reply in my head a hundred times, yet every time i end up feeling like no words can possibly convey what i want to say because i feel very strongly about this. i have so many emo feelings, dear anon. because it truly is the purest thing.

i know there are things a few giggles can’t fix, and i know i’ve said this before, but i think that if you are going to be with someone, that person should be someone whose presence relaxes you. someone who makes you laugh at the dumbest things because you just feel so good and comfortable with them. comedians and funny people can make you laugh, but it’s very different, i don’t think they make you shine. when Isak makes Even laugh, he makes him shine, i really do think so. it’s just so amazing to see how comfortable they are with each other, and how much comfort they find in each other’s presence! and how Even is so fond of Isak that he can’t help breaking into a smile mid-kiss, that’s the best kind of kissing there is if you ask me!

i think having this kind of a connection is so very important in a relationship because it helps you deal with the difficult stuff. this is just my personal opinion, but i was so happy to see them have a laugh about Even running around naked because it meant it’s not a taboo subject for them, it’s not something that should be swept under the rug and never spoken of again. they don’t have to feel ashamed about anything with each other! i have anxiety so sometimes my reactions to things don’t make much sense, but i feel very lucky that in my relationship we can laugh at my moments of utter despair afterwards, it makes me feel a lot better about myself and helps put things in perspective, i feel less ashamed. i’m happy to know that their relationship is a safe haven where both of them can unwind and be themselves!