this time i feel sorry for you

I can’t believe I have over 50 followers!

Here is a thank you fic:

“Why is it always the air lock?!” Lance grumbled from the corner. He pulled his jacket tightly around him in an attempt to stop the violent shivers that racked his body.

“Relax,” Keith brushed him off, “Coran and Pidge will have us out in no time.”

Lance nodded. He knew that, realistically, but it didn’t stop him from wanting out now. He was cold, tired, and had a monster of a headache–it had been a long day.

“I know,” Lance muttered. “I’ll feel better when we can get out of here and warm up,” he admitted. “Sorry for complaining.”

“You’re cold?” Keith asked. 

“You’re not?”

“No,” he replied, “I’m actually a little toasty. Here,” he shrugged off his jacket and put it around Lance’s shoulders. Lance wanted to protest, but it was warm from Keith’s body heat, and felt so nice on his back…

“Thanks,” he said tiredly. “If you get cold, though, take it back. I don’t want to be the reason you freeze to death in this ice box of an air lock.”

“Are you seriously that cold?” Keith asked, sounding surprised. He studied Lance’s features and noticed the slight pallor of his skin, and the slight slick of sweat on his forehead. Lance was also shivering fiercely. “Are you feeling okay?”

“Fine,” Lance shrugged, “A bit of a headache,” he admitted, “but I’m good.”

Keith let the subject drop, for now. However, now that it was silent, he noticed something else about the blue paladin: his breathing was off. There was a slight congested crackling in the bottoms of his lungs when he breathed, and Keith hadn’t noticed Lance trying to nonchalantly clear it away until the air lock had fell silent. Now, however, he could hear the stifled coughs that Lance was fighting with. His mouth was closed, and the sound his lungs were making with each heave of breath was alarmingly wet. 

“You’re sick,” Keith asserted. There was no hiding it now. 

“It’s just a little cough, Keith,” Lance argued. His voice sounded raspy and painful. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I was just going to try to sleep it off,” Lance admitted. “Then we got stuck in here, and I figured you had bigger things to worry about.”

“I really don’t,” Keith objected. He reached out to Lance’s huddled, still-shivering frame and rested the backs of his hand on his cheek, then migrated to the back of his neck, and finally resting on his forehead. Warm, maybe too warm, but not hot.

“I think you’ve got a fever, but I can’t really tell.”

“I’m fine,” Lance argued again. “I just want to sleep.” He coughed once more with a closed mouth, and Keith could see what a strain it was. 

“Don’t do that,” Keith scolded, “You’re gonna hurt yourself.”

“I don’t want to get you sick,” Lance pointed out. 

“We’re stuck in an air lock breathing the same air, and you’ve probably got a fever. I think it’s safe to say I’ve already been exposed.”

“Well, I don’t want to increase the risk.” Lane coughed a few more times, still stifling them as best he could, but he was getting a bit desperate for oxygen, if he was being honest. He couldn’t properly clear his lungs this way, and the more he coughed, the more fluid seemed to bubble in to fill up his chest. The coughing got more desperate, and he turned away from Keith to cover his face with his sleeve. He was barely getting in a breath between hacks. 

“Hey, you need to breathe,” Keith commented worriedly, moving closer to the ill paladin and resting a hand on his shoulder. Lance wasn’t listening. His face was turning red with the lack of air. “Lance, can you hear me? You need to get air,” he instructed. Lance blindly shoved Keith off him, Keith fought back, straightening Lance out of his doubled over position to sit up propped against Keith. Lance didn’t put up much of a fight, and as the coughing finally began to subside, Keith felt him go slack so completely that he had to lean over to make sure he was still awake.

“Is this better?” Keith asked. “Can you breathe like this?” 

Lance nodded weakly. Keith could feel the congestion rattling around in his lungs through every short, rapid breath. 

“How are you two doing?” Shiro’s voice asked through the air lock window. 

“Shiro, thank God,” Keith almost laughed with relief. 

“What’s going on? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, but Lance is sick.” He once more reached around the boy to feel his forehead, alarmed to find how much his temperature had risen in such a short time. 

“Hey, Shiro,” Lance smiled, “How close are we to getting out of here?”

“Pretty close, buddy,” Shiro reassured him. “How’re you feeling?”

“I’m okay,” Lance lied. 

“He’s burning up,” Keith informed. Shiro’s eyebrows furrowed in concern.

“Aw, Shiro, don’t look like that. It’s just a cold,” Lance assured, but found himself thrown into another fit of deep coughing. 

“That sounds bad,” Shiro worried. After spending so long in a Galra prison, he knew pneumonia when he heard it. “Like, really bad. We need to get him out of there as soon as possible.” Lance’s breaths were shallow, and Shiro could tell that it hurt to take in much air.

“Will you go tell them to hurry?” Keith asked.

“They’re working as fast as they can, but I think it would only distract them to be worrying about Lance right now,” Shiro admitted. “We’re just going to have to sit tight for a while.

Lance was still trying to stifle his coughing as much as he possibly could. 

“Why’s he–”

“He’s afraid of infecting me,” Keith said. “I tried to tell him not to worry about it, but you know Lance.”

“Yeah,” Shiro smiled. “Lance, listen, you’re not going to get Keith sick; I don’t think what you have is contagious,” Shiro informed, “So I want your only focus to be on breathing, okay? Feel Keith’s breaths and try to match them.” Lance winced.

“I can’t,” he strained weakly, “My chest.” 

“Don’t push it. Just do your best. I don’t like how grey your complexion is turning.”

Keith was sweating in the heat of the air lock and underneath Lance’s fever-hot body. Lance, on the other hand, was shaking like a leaf. His teeth were chattering against the cold, which Keith was sure wasn’t helping his breathing. After a few minutes, he seemed to fall into an uneasy sleep.

“I don’t know how to help him, Shiro,” Keith admitted. 

“You’re doing fine,” he promised. “I didn’t want to freak him out, but I think he’s got pneumonia. The door should be open soon, I’m sure of it.”

And sure enough, it was only a few more minutes before the air lock slid open and Shiro and Keith were able to scoop Lance up and take him to the castle’s infirmary to pump him full of antibiotics. 

“You going to bed?” Shiro asked on his way out the door. “You’ve had a rough day.”

“I just don’t want him to wake up here alone,” Keith replied. “He was so feverish when we pulled him out of the air lock, I doubt he’ll remember anything. I don’t want him to freak out.”

Shiro smiled proudly. “I’ll stay with you, then,” he said, pulling up a chair next to Keith’s. “You did a good job with him.”

Keith laughed out loud. “I had no idea what I was supposed to do.”

“I think that just having you there was enough.” Keith nodded and allowed his eyes to slip closed. As long as he was there, Lance would be fine.


“You and Taehyung have been together for 3 years, and going strong. But something happens and suddenly, your perfect little world turns upside down.”

- fluff, angst, smut, mystery | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook

Words: 4,832

A/N: When I released the teaser, a few people thought this would be a BDSM story, based on the title, I’m sorry for the confusion. It is not. It’s a different kind of punished. 

Originally posted by bwichim

Originally posted by aestheticvbts

Keep reading

Lin X Reader: I Care, Too

Word Count: 1, 760

Request: *anon* Lin x reader fic !! They’re at a party and Lin is trying to confess his feelings to the reader the whole night but they keep getting interrupted or pulled away so then when the party is almost over lin pulls her aside and confesses his feelings! Kissing maybe ?? But mostly snuggles at the end

Pronouns used: She/her

Writer’s note: This was fun to write. Sorry it took so long, but I’m really pleased with the result. -Mod BJ

You gently sound three knocks on the painted door. After waiting a few seconds to no response, you rap on the door three times again, this time with more force. The door swings open and you find yourself face to face with your good friend, Jasmine Cephas Jones.

“Y/N! You’re here!” Jasmine exclaims, a smile growing on her face. “Most of us thought you weren’t coming!”

“I managed to finish most of my work early, and I thought that it wouldn’t hurt to drop by four an hour or two and see everybody,” you respond cheerily. “That is, if I’m still welcome.”

“Of course!” Jasmine responds. “Everyone here loves your company.”

You slowly walk into the apartment. Despite it being early, the living room is already crowded with most of the Hamilton cast. Daveed, Anthony and Oak sit on the couch, deep in conversation already. Renée sits on the floor, painting Phillipa’s nails a pale shade of blue. Various members of the ensemble weave through the furniture and people towards and away from the food table, where a large selection of entrées are placed. Amidst the crowds in the room, you find Lin leaning against the far wall, watching the party. He smiles and waves as he spots you near the door.

You met Lin while attending Wesleyan University. He came up to you at a party on a dare from his friends and began to rap freestyle. You were extremely impressed by him, particularly when he told you that he was in the process of writing his first musical, In the Heights. While you were not a performer, and knew nothing about musicals, you went to see the show and loved it. While you went your separate ways after Wesleyan, once you heard that In the Heights was going to be on Broadway, you immediately contacted him again. You love how much success he has achieved since In the Heights, and know that Hamilton is going to do just as well.

“Y/N! How are you?” Lin calls to you, walking across the room towards where you stand.

“I’ve been great, thanks. How about you?” You reply to him eagerly.

“Well, as you can imagine, it’s been busy. As much as I enjoy working on Hamilton, it sometimes gets overwhelming,” he confesses to you. “Would you like something to eat?”

“Sure,” you tell him. You both move towards the food table, still talking.

“You’ve met most of the cast, right?” Lin asks you.

“You ask me that every single time you see me,” you laugh. “I have indeed met them.”

Lin smiles sheepishly. “It’s hard to keep track of who has met who.”

You laugh. “Maybe, but one would think that you can keep track of who has met your very best friend.”

“Ah, I wouldn’t quite call you my very best friend … “

You clasp your hands over your heart and you try your best to look hurt. “You’re mean. I don’t like you anymore.”

Lin picks up a stuffed mushroom off one of the plates. “What about after knowing that I made your favourite food for you?”

You giggle. “So it is true. You know my food preferences- we are best friends!”

Lin shakes his head. “You’re ridiculous.”

“It’s what I’m good at,” you respond to him with a goofy confidence. You take the mushroom out of his hand and pop it in your mouth. After swallowing, you notice an expectant look on his face.

“Not quite as good as my mother’s stuffed mushrooms,” you reply to taunt him.

He puts on a sad face and mimics a tear running down his cheek. You stare at him for a few seconds before he bursts out laughing with you.

“See? Best friends,” you grin at him.

“Maybe,” he responds. “This is why I love you.”

“Aw, I love you too,” you reply in a sarcastic tone. You open your mouth to say something else to him, but you hear your name called from across the room.

“Y/N! Come over here!” Phillipa calls to you. “I need a second opinion on the colour of these nails.”

You bound over to where she sits with Renée on the carpeted floor. Phillipa is holding a bottle of deep purple nail polish.

“Would these look good on Renée, or should I go with something lighter?” she asks you.

“Perhaps you could paint most of them that purple, but paint her ring finger nails or her thumbnails something lighter,” I suggest.

“Thanks. You’re so great at colour schemes,” she tells me.

“You really think that?” I reply incredulously.

“Yeah!” Renée tells me. “Your clothes are always so colour-coordinated.”

You look down at what you are wearing. Your deep blue top, grey leggings and white converse don’t seem that coordinated to you, but you decide to believe the girls anyway.

“Thank you,” you tell them.


You glance up at the clock and cringe as you see that it reads 9:26. You only intended to stay an hour, maybe an hour and a half. You have been here for almost four hours chatting with the cast and eating all the food that was laid out on the table. Someone yells out “Karaoke!” and you automatically know that this won’t end well. This is not because the cast are terrible singers - on the contrary, they are excellent. It is because you know that they will all want you to sing, and you are not a performer in the slightest. You’re much more comfortable sitting in the audience watching.

Lin approaches you. “Are you going to sing?” He asks.

You give him a look. “No. You know that I can’t sing.”

“Would it make you feel better if I sang with you?” He jokes.

“Probably not.”

You both sit, listen and laugh as the cast goes through their various choices of karaoke songs. You lean closer to Lin and he places his arm around your shoulder. Suddenly, you’re up on your feet, getting pulled towards the stage. You try to break free from Anthony’s grip, but he drags you towards the stage.

“Come on, Y/N! Please sing!” Daveed calls.

Everyone else begins to chant your name as you are pulled forward. You feel yourself blush and keep struggling against Anthony’s grip. In the corner of your eye, you see Lin stand up and make his way up to the front. As Anthony releases your arm, Lin stands beside you. You then realize that he is going to sing with you.

“Do you know “Summer Nights”? From Grease?” he asks you.

“Yeah … mostly,” you respond.

“Great. We’ll sing that together then,” Lin tells the crowd.


After you finish the song, you and Lin both walk to the back of the room, where nobody can see you together. They’re all focused on Jasmine and Anthony’s duet.

“Are you embarrassed?” Lin asks you.

“Very much so,” you respond. “You all know that I can’t sing.”

“I think you did a pretty good job. So does everyone else.”

“You’re all just being nice, Lin.”

“No, we’re not! Everyone here likes you and your singing voice. Including myself. Especially myself,” Lin tells you.

“I don’t care. I still think I’m terrible. This is one of the reasons why you don’t love me, that’s for sure,” you retort.

“Y/N … “ Lin begins slowly. “I do love you. I hope you know that.”

You are speechless. You have nothing to say.

“I … I need to go home,” you tell him quickly. You rush out of the apartment.

You arrive home and try to go to sleep, but his words keep echoing in your mind. I do love you. I hope you know that. Eventually, you do end up falling asleep, but your night is restless as you attempt to forget what had happened between you and Lin.


It has been a week since the party. You haven’t seen any members of the cast since that night. Lin had sent you one text this morning, and it troubled you.

Y/N, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make things awkward between us. I value your friendship very much and if you don’t feel the same way, I can live with it.

You honestly wished that he cared less about your friendship. It would complicate everything less. You could cut off your friendship with him and he wouldn’t care. You wanted to answer him, but you didn’t know what to say to him.

The truth is, you have feelings for Lin. They had lain buried under a pile of sarcastic comments about your friendship until Lin’s words had forced them to the surface. You wanted to tell him this, but you didn’t know how this relationship would turn out. Hamilton was almost at its premier date at the Public Theatre, and you didn’t want him to be distracted from his work there.

You decide to go talk to Jasmine to sort out your feelings. She was always a great friend to you when you needed it.


You rap on her door suddenly, and she opens.

“Y/N! How are you?” Jasmine asks you.

“Um … not good. Can I talk to you?” You tell her.

“Sure! What is going on?” You follow her into her apartment.

“At the party … Lin confessed that he is in love with me. I don’t know what to do.”

“Well … do you love him back?”

“I don’t know if I love him,” you explain, “but I certainly care about him. I do have feelings for him, but I don’t know what to say to him.”

“Yes, you do,” Jasmine says. “You just needed a second opinion. Tell him.”


You look nervously at your phone in your hand as you reread the message you are about to send to Lin. It reads, Hi Lin. I’m sorry it took me this long to say something to you, but I needed to figure out how to say it. I care about you, too. A lot. I don’t want to mess up our relationship, but if you like me, I don’t think this can go anywhere bad for now.

You take a deep breath and hit send.

He replies almost immediately. The first message is a simple smiley face. The second one takes a little longer to type. That makes me very happy. I love you very much.

You smile. You write your response to him. I hope you’re not expecting me to say it back.

His reply warms your heart. There’s the girl I love.

Skyrim: A Penny for a Tale

Part 1 | Part 2 

I’m debating if I should put this story on AO3. Whatcha guys think? 

I feel like i havent posted anything in a long time. Sorry for the wait, work is killer on eating my time. Also sorry it’s not exactly what you followed me for but for the few of you that dig this….

Here is another thrilling adventure of @nikanono and my Skyrim characters. 


The Thief froze in place, her coat halfway over her head catching her in an awkward position with her arms stuck within the torso and sleeveless armholes.

“Um….my coat…has…wolf fur….so I just thought…”

Fey snorted,“It’s freezing outside put it back on…” she sighed, shaking her head as she reached out and grabbed the hem of her coat, roughly yanking it back down over her body, her head popping out of the neck hole. She yelped and shook her wild red hair that was frazzled and mussed up in the process.

Vi pouted, playful but she was particularly serious about it this time.

Since the revelation of Fey having beast blood in her veins, Vi couldn’t stop the wolf jokes, in good taste mind you. Distant howling in the woods, Vi quietly commented on her family calling out to her or when they had lost their way she playfully suggested sniffing at the walls and the like. Fey rolled her eyes, but secretly did take a whiff at the air and instantly became aware of their surroundings. But she didn’t need to tell her that.

However upon realizing that her entire coat was lined with dark grey wolf fur, she was suddenly beginning to feel bad.

”…I appreciate the thought but I’m not offended”

Not convinced, her pout deepened into a small glare, reluctantly readjusting herself back into her coat before crossing her arms defiantly.

“Vi really it’s ok” Fey laughed, watching her huff, conceding for now.

“Fine but…I’m going to brood about it anyway” she grumbled, continuing to follow Fey through the wilds.

She laughed and shook her head,“Brooding is my job”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Do you enjoy life atm? I want to.. listening to your music helps me want to in a way. I guess I just had no hope and your music gave me hope. How do I learn to enjoy life?

I started enjoying life once I stopped caring about myself. It kinda sounds like it makes no sense but when i was sad all i could think about was myself and What people thought of me and how i was feeling. I felt so freakin sorry for myself all the time and I was so self centred and once i became self aware of that I slowly trained myself to be impartial to myself. I honestly dont give a shit anymore about myself and I’ve never been happier


Clarissa: Cut it out, Pheebs!

Phoebe: Lissa, relax.

Clarissa: Just leave, Phoebe!

Phoebe: Well, I am sorry if I f*cking miss my girlfriend ok? You think it’s fun to keep this up?! I have feelings too, you know?

Clarissa: I-I am sorry, it’s just that, I am so scared of losing you, and if he-

Phoebe: It’s ok… I am sorry for losing my temper, I just wish I could spend my every minute with you and just be happy, without a single worry… 

I’m sorry. I’m sorry for all the times that i hurt you. I’m sorry that i always make you cry and i did not do anything to wipe them away. I’m sorry because i keep on hurting you. I know that sometimes i mean it but i can’t help myself, i am hurting you and i don’t know how to stop. I always treat you as my option, leave you whenever i want then comes back when i need you. I’m sorry for always making you feel that you are not worth it. I’m sorry for all the times that you are alone and you needed me but i was not there. I’m sorry if i keep on making you love me more when i can’t even give you even just a small amount of that love. I’m sorry for turning my back on you when all you did is to hold my hand so tight. I’m sorry, for not saying sorry before. I’m sorry if sometimes you think that you are not enough. I’m sorry for breaking your heart. I hope my sorry can make you feel better. I hope my sorry can put back the pieces of your broken heart. I’m sorry if this is too late. I’m sorry for not realizing everything and your love for me. I’m sorry for leaving you. I’m sorry for always putting you in so much pain and i was not even there by your side to lessen the pain. I’m sorry for takif away your happiness. I’m sorry if you’ve spent your time and love to someone like me and got nothing in return but a broken heart. I’m sorry because i now realize that i love you but i can’t have you back.
—  Sorry is sometimes painful

anonymous asked:

So you say you'd be here for me if I needed someone to talk to. Well my ex & I broke up, I think we were both kind of tired of each other, but the day we broke up, it was magical, we laughed, we had a good time, and we were intimate as well, I didn't care that my sister was upstairs. But I don't know why I didn't verbalized that I didn't want him to go. After all of that I thought he understood that I still loved him. And now, he's moved on with someone new, and I'm so broken. So sad, so lost :(

Breakups can be painful. You’re allowed to feel sad and frustrated, in fact it’s better than bottling up your feelings. I’m really sorry about what happened to you but I guess if there’s a silver lining it’s that now you’re free to find someone who loves you as much as you love them. Don’t settle for someone who only likes you when you love them xx

Spice Things Up

Jay Park x Reader

Word Count: 1,362
Warnings: Sexual Content, Dom!Jay Park
A/N: I got a request for this and your English is fine Anon, hope you enjoy:)

So … If I said … I was dancing with Jay , after he insist you to teach him Latin dance. Jay was always respectful to you but that day his hands was passing for all your body , he tease you pulling your shirt up … And while your body was so close to his … You feel his breath through your check (sorry for my English it isn’t my first language)

The gif isn’t mine. Credit to the owner but hey, everyone loves body rolls.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

So I really love your blog and want to follow more good cowchop blogs, do you have any recommendations? Sorry if this is annoying!!!

Sure thing fam, here’s a few people that I’ve seen in the tags! 

@puppyjames @cowchopboys @cowchopcrew @aleksandr-james @uberhaxorfuck @uberhaxornovia @cowchopped @novasdildo @couchcoopcowchop @cowchopcum @holdplay @uberanalnova @teegesmagee @novahded @aleksandrmarchant @aleks-hd @just–mae @happycowchop @cowchopmydoor @jameswilsun @ccowchop @cowchop-gifs @lmmortalnova @thebutchers @owchop @immortalhdildo @cowchopconfessions @achieve-chop @ragepal @sponsor-meee @aleksplease @cowgroup @itsactuallythebestok @aleksvitaly @submit4nova @crtchop @gemini-james @tropicalaleks @fordernsure-moo @cowshop @ubercowchop @aleksandr-you-asshole @sleepyheadven @relatablepicturesofaleks @alekssoh @jameswilsony @itsseamus @daneru94 @youfuckinasshole @fycowchop @prettyokcowchopblog @ubercowchhd @aviidan @relatablepicturesofcowchop @rrravioli @aleksandnova

I bolded submit4nova since it’s actually him running the blog haha; if anyone has any recommendations, feel free to comment

Scared To Be Lonely - D.H.

Pairing: Dan x reader

Summary: in which Dan and the reader have been fighting every night for months, and it’s finally time to sit down and re-evaluate their relationship. based on the song Scared To Be Lonely by Martin Garrix and Dua Lipa.

Requested: yes, see here

Warnings: angst, feels, mention of like pg-13 topics (like twice but), just a whole lot of everything

A/N: sorry this took super long but i wanted my first imagine in a while to be (objectively) good so please enjoy my first song imagine! if you have any other songs you think would make good imagines, let me know here. if you don’t know what i’m talking about, click here and finally, let me know what you think of this one/if you want me to do a part 2 bc that could be a thing

you can listen to the song here on youtube and here on spotify!


It was great at the very start, hands on each other; couldn’t stand to be far apart, closer the better.

In the beginning, everything had been great between you and Dan. The two of you were inseparable, unable to stand being far apart; so close that your friends joked you were more attached at the hip than Dan and Phil were, which seems pretty impossible.

Somewhere, somehow, in the past few months of your nearly 2 year relationship, loving words had turned into yelling, date night into falling asleep alone, and touches into slamming doors.

You flinch at the ever-recurring sound, body crumbling in on itself as you collapse onto the end of your bed for what felt like the hundredth time that week.

You and Dan had gotten into a fight, again. Recently, it seemed the only way you were communicating at all was through picking fights.

It had started out so stupidly, Dan had filmed a video but hadn’t cleaned anything up; his light and tripod still sitting in your bedroom a day later. You had asked him to put it away, commenting that he never seemed to clean up after himself when he filmed.

Now we’re picking fights, and slamming doors; magnifying all our flaws.

From there, it had escalated into magnifying each others’ flaws. You were too clingy, but he was too anti-social, and you were too loud, but he was too busy. It always seemed to come back to that, Dan being busy.

You understood how time-consuming what he did was, but recently, it felt like he didn’t have time for you; you couldn’t even remember the last time the two of you had done something together even as simple as eating breakfast at the same time. The only time you were spending doing anything as a couple was making up every night when Dan returned from god knows where; climbing into bed with an apology and a kiss that always led to something more.

You run your still trembling hands through your hair, eyes burning with unshed tears.

You couldn’t figure out how you’d let you relationship come to this. It wasn’t even really a relationship anymore. You felt as if maybe, it was time to really think about what you were doing. Maybe it was a healthier decision for both of you if you ended things.

You felt a single tear roll down your cheek as you came to the realization.

You lifted your hand to your face, wiping it away quickly before standing up and making your way into the lounge of your apartment.

Too much time, losing track of us, where was the real? Undefined, spiraling out of touch; forgot how it feels.

Next to the door Dan had just slammed, a picture frame was on the floor. You sighed, knowing it was the same picture that always fell; one of you and Dan from your first anniversary.

Picking it up, you stared at the photo, envious of the people staring back at you and how happy they were. You yearned for nothing more than to go back to how things were, when everything between you and Dan had been perfect.

Unfortunately, perfect didn’t seem to exist anymore when it came to you and Dan. You couldn’t even remember what it felt like anymore, to be like you were back then. The only thing you associated with Dan anymore being arguments and make-up sex.

You hung the picture back in it’s place before making your way back to your bedroom, falling asleep alone for another night.

time skip of a few hours:

You’re woken up by the sound of your bedroom door opening.

Turning to face that side of the room, you see Dan standing sheepishly by the door through your blurry vision. Rubbing your tired eyes, you sit up and watch as he makes his way towards the bed.

“I’m so sorry, love,” he begins the vicious cycle, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips; you responding before realizing what you were doing, quickly pulling away just as he tries to deepen the kiss.

Dan looks at you confused as you do so, trying to decipher your expression.

“We can’t keep doing this, Dan.”

“What d’you mean, y/n?” he asks, moving to sit down next to you.

Are we both losing our minds? Is the only reason you’re holding me tonight cause we’re scared to be lonely? 

“This isn’t a relationship anymore, we’re just losing our minds… Is the only reason we come back every night because we’re scared to be lonely?” your voice shakes as you voice what had been in the back of your mind for weeks now.

“No, don’t say that.. I-I love you, it’s just a rough patch,” he stumbles over his words, rushing to get them out before he can lose the thought.

Even when we know it’s wrong, been somebody better for us all along, tell me how can we keep holding on? Holding on tonight cause we’re scared to be lonely.

“A rough patch? It’s been like this for the last 3 months, Dan… We can’t keep doing this, we both know that it’s wrong; what if there’s something better out there for us?”

“There’s no one out there better for me than you, I know you’re the one for me.”

“How do we know that Dan? How can we keep holding onto this when it’s doing nothing but hurting us… I think we need a break.”

There. You’d said it. The elephant that had been in the room since the second he’d walked in the door, you guys needed a break. Some kind of time to yourselves, to process and to think before you could come back to this.

“No, no, y/n, we don’t need a break, love. We can work this out, I promise I’ll try my harde-”

“Dan,” you cut him off, tears that had been building up for the last 15 minutes finally beginning to fall, “I love you, and that’s why I’m doing this. We need some time to figure out why we keep coming back, why we’re constantly fighting and making up.”

He nods his head in understanding but looks miserable. His face reflecting how your heart feels.

It kills you to have to do this, but you knew it was necessary for you guys to have a little bit of time to sort this out separately before you could come together and try to fix things.

He stands up next to you again, “Please don’t cry, love.. We’ll figure this out, I know we will,” he wipes tears from your face before continuing, “I’ll call Phil and see if I can stay with him for a few weeks, I- I want to fix this, fix us; however you think we need to do that.”

You nod, breathing deeply in an attempt to calm down as he slides his phone out of his pocket, dialing Phil.

You listen closely to Dan’s half of the conversation as tears continue falling down your cheeks, “Hey Phil.”

He pauses, likely waiting for Phil’s response, “Look, can I come and stay with you for a few weeks?”

Again, silence as Phil replies, “I know,” another pause, “Yeah,” one final pause, “Thanks mate, I’ll be over within the hour.”

This makes your tears fall faster. The break was your idea, and you knew it was necessary; but you also knew that watching Dan walk out the door, even though he would be returning, would shatter your heart into a million pieces.

Dan sighs as he hangs up the phone, noticing the increased speed of your crying, “Y/n, love, please don’t cry, okay? This is only for a short while, alright? You’re right, we do need the time to think and that’s all we’re gonna get.. I’ll be back before you know it, I promise.”

You nod as he leans down and wipes tears from your cheeks again. He turns to begin packing some stuff but you grab his arm, “Wait.”

He stops, turning back and sitting beside you again as he pulls you into his chest, rubbing your back soothingly.

“Please, this is already breaking my heart, don’t make this harder, on either of us,” he pleads with you as your breathing begins to even out slightly.

“I’m sorry, Dan, it’s just-”

He cuts you off, understanding what you meant, “I know, y/n, I know.”

Dan pulls you back into his chest one last time, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“I love you,” you let out against him, allowing him to finally pull away from you.

“I love you too, now, it’s late, get some sleep, love.. I’ll lock up behind me, okay?”

You nod, laying back down like he had told you, biting your lip to keep from beginning to cry again; knowing it would only make it harder for both of you if Dan was forced to leave you like that.

You feel him press one last kiss to your forehead before hearing him step away, moving into the closet for a bag before rifling through his drawers for the things he’d need. After a few minutes, you hear him head into your bathroom, collecting some other stuff. By the time he’s back in your bedroom, you’ve fallen asleep; mentally and physically exhausted after the day you’d had.

Dan stands, watching you for a moment before smiling sadly at your sleeping figure, taking a deep breath in as he exits the bedroom and apartment.

            I just want to start this by saying holy shit what the fuck, why is there 100 of you??? I’m actual garbage, why are you here??? That being said, I love you all so much and I am so grateful for each and every one of you. Some of you, I still haven’t had a chance to talk to and for that I’m sorry. Whether we’ve talked a thousand times or never once spoke, my inbox and messages are ALWAYS open for all of you. Never hesitate to talk to me even if it’s just a message complaining about something from your day.

            @qceenbambi;; @magicaladept;; @eliotwoah I feel like I have to talk about you three as a package cause you’re always together on my dash. Faith, Klutz, and Kaleb are literally the best. They play their characters so well and they are so sweet. They will turn your dash into an everflowing river of writing perfection. I love all three of you. Also, how do I get inducted into the squad??? haha

            @magnusofbane;; @viirid let me just tell you about Cassidy. I don’t even know where to start. She is my favorite person on this site. She has been such a saint since the first time I spoke to her. Her writing is eternally perfect and I just *swoons*. Magnus and Damianos are so gloriously different. My fav is NOT problematic. I looove you.

the precious snowflakes who I will protect at all costs

@eliotwaxgh;; @warstopper;; @fallenregent;; @arrowbythebooks;; @goldtouched;; @juliawickxer;; @ambitionisfolly;; @girloffillory;; @filloryforgotten;; @remembcr;; @dipsomanes

the babes I want to get to know better

@crescentgemini;; @giingerstallion;; @praelixs;; @amazingspiderling;; @sociopathiques;; @heartisgold;; @thewclfgirl;; @heavenblooded;; @cicerosxphilosophy;; @avidskiier;; @oftaintedhearts;; @ghostofaformerself;; @trueblccd;; @tragiichearts;; @camillebelcourtme;; @justoldnews;; @acquiredcraving;; @aestheticdriven;; @ofcateyes;; @suckerpnch;; @highwarlockxbane;; @midnxghtwhisperings;; @plurimaevoces;; @lightxwoods

anonymous asked:

i wanna write more poetry but idk how to write poetry thats not trauma-related

i have that problem too–a lot of the time it feels like its the only thing i can write about because its always on mind. and while its definitely healthy to write about your trauma (because it helps you process and understand it), its not… super healthy to only write about your trauma.

so heres how i write softer things even when all i want to write about is my trauma: 

  • go somewhere safe (preferably somewhere completely unconnected to your trauma)
  • do things that help you calm down (preferably also unrelated to your trauma) such as, smoke a cigarette, drink some coffee or tea, burn incense, etc.
  • listen to some music. something you’ve never heard before, and that doesnt have any words. classical is really good for this, here is a 2 hour loop of my favourite compositions by erik satie (my personal favourite) or a 10 minute piece by arvo pärt (might be a little calmer actually)
  • get a piece of paper and a pen or something
  • draw little flowers or suns or hearts around the page. little things that are cute and make you feel a little happier. stars and solar systems work best for me
  • focus on the happy things in your life. that’s the hard part, but you can do it. if nothing happy in your life comes to mind, think of fictional happy things. like i might think about bucky barnes cuddling with his bf. completely unconnected to me (except for how i really relate to bucky but still). something calm and nice.
  • take deep breaths. try to come up with a solid image, a tangible thing, that feels calm. your cigarette smoke rising like knots in wood. the dust caught in the light. the train going by. the frost on the grass outside. real things that are constant. that you could touch.
  • write down everything that comes to mind. it wont make a poem, thats ok though. write down as many images as you can. write down the way your fingers ache a little in the cold. how warm you are in your favourite sweater. the way your tea smells.
  • when you have amassed as many images and sensory details as you can, read through them and use the ones that were worded well, or that caught your eye, as starting lines for poems. here’s one i just wrote:

it’s pretty still and a little aimless (and completely unedited), but that’s okay. it’s a poem. and it’s not about trauma, or anything bad. they get better with practice.

anonymous asked:

i know this is gonna sound like a lot, and i totally wouldn't blame you for only doing some of these, but can you do that ship thing for nate and ray (i don't know what their ship name is)

Who is the better cook Hi anon. Thanks for the ask :) First off, I’m going to assume that you mean all of the numbers for the ship ask meme. And my answer is of course I can. I love doing asks (though from the time it took me to actually finish this, you probably wouldn’t be able to guess. Sorry about that).

Secondly, the ship name for Nate x Ray is SteelAtom, I believe (at least, that’s what I’ve been tagging all my posts as. If I’m wrong, please correct me).

And we shall now descend into the (very large and long amount of) madness that is about to ensue:

  1. Who made the first move? I feel like neither of these cute (and completely oblivious) cinnamon rolls would have made the first move. They probably only realised the other had feelings for them when the others pointed it out. (I can definitely see Sara and Mick just saying something like “So are you two sleeping together yet, or what?”)
  2. Who said ‘I love you’ first? Nate. After what happened with Anna, and then Kendra, Ray’s a bit nervous about telling someone that he loves them. He does, obviously, but he’s scared that as soon as he admits that, they’ll leave him, or something bad will happen. But he does say “I love you too” as soon as Nate says it.
  3. Who first suggested moving in together? They already live on a time-ship together, so that’s a bit of a pointless question, but Nate’s stuff slowly migrates its way into Ray’s (much bigger) room, and one day Nate just doesn’t bother going back to his room because it’s empty.
  4. What was their first fight about? Ray throwing himself into ridiculously dangerous situations, almost as if he doesn’t care, as if there isn’t someone he’d be leaving behind. Nate worries a lot because his boyfriend isn’t bulletproof, and he always runs headlong into danger, and he’s scared that one day, Ray won’t come back with him, so they end up fighting every time the other does something unnecessarily dangerous (which, let’s admit, with this bunch of losers, is pretty much every week, or every time they get off the ship).
  5. Who is the better cook? Neither of them is particularly brilliant at cooking, but for all his intellect, Ray Palmer is the ‘burn water’ type of guy, which means that either Nate cooks, or they order takeaway (there are a ridiculous number of pizza boxes which they keep forgetting to throw away. Jax says they could probably build a wall with them).
  6. Who proposed? Ray. Despite being nervous about saying ‘I love you’ or making the first move, he’s a romantic at heart, and he eventually works up the courage to take Nate out to dinner when they land in Tuscany for a break, and he proposes to him after the meal.
  7. Who remembers the anniversaries? You’d think, being a historian and all, that this would be Nate. You’d be wrong. As brilliant as he is at research, and remembering facts about ancient history, this guy has a really terrible memory when it comes to more recent dates to remember. This dude forgot their first anniversary, and their wedding anniversary. Ray sets about a billion reminders to make sure that he doesn’t forget, and it works about 60% of the time. (They’re both terrible, even though they’re supposed to be super-smart).
  8. Where would they go for their honeymoon? Assuming the Legion of Doom don’t manage to destroy reality (and probably the entire world at the same time), then they’d probably go to all the cliche, romantic places people go on their honeymoon, like Paris and Rome and Hawaii. And they also go to different time periods too, because why wouldn’t you when you have a time-traveling space-ship? So they get to see the Eiffel Tower being built and walk along the streets of Paris in the 1920s.
  9. Who wakes up first in the mornings? They usually wake up at the same time, though since Ray has been on the ship longer, and is more used to Rip’s rigid 8am wake-up schedule, he’ll sometimes wake up earlier. He’ll just lay there, tangling his fingers with Nate’s, waiting for the other to wake up so he can kiss him good morning.
  10. Who works the latest? Ray. He always gets so caught up in different projects and he doesn’t want to leave them until they’re finished. And he doesn’t just work the latest, but also the longest. He’ll stay up for 36 hours before he crashes, and Nate often has to drag him to bed and remind him to sleep.
  11. Who spins in those squeaky office chairs to annoy the other? They both do, because they’re immature toddlers who want to wind up Sara and Stein, and the best way to do that is by spinning in the two squeakiest chairs on the bridge until the other two walk away (or until Sara gets out a gun and threatens to shoot them).(Jax 110% joins in with them when he’s pissed off with Stein, and they encourage him like awful influences they are).
  12. Who has the most questionable taste in music? Nate, though it’s more because he has such a wide range of taste in music, from Baroque to House to Hip-hop to Punk. His playlist is a mess of different songs that drive Ray mad, because he’ll get used to the low bass in one song, only to have flutes and violins assault his ears 3 minutes later, which then change to something that sounds more like a call to war than music.
  13. Who opts for buying take away instead of cooking? Ray, because he can’t cook to save his life. Nate only opts for it when he really can’t be bothered to cook, and no one else is on cooking duty.
  14. Who plans the best dates? They both plan pretty good dates. Nate always takes them somewhere (and sometime) that he knows they’ll both find very interesting and somewhere beautiful, like a lake in the mountains, or a museum/gallery he knows Ray will find interesting, and Ray plans very romantic dates at restaurants and cinemas and more generic date venues. What he lacks in originality, he makes up for in thought and romantic gestures (like flowers and favourite desserts).
  15. Who blushes the most? Ray, with his dark hair and pale skin, blushes very easily, and it’s a look that Nate loves on him, so he tries to make Ray blush as often as possible. Whispering (really inappropriate) things in his ear and complimenting him are surefire ways to do this.
  16. Who gets super into holidays like Christmas and Halloween and who only does it because it makes the other happy? They both like holidays a lot. Nate gets very excited about the cultural significance and history of the holidays, while Ray just loves being able to spoil Nate. And he loves to see him dress up as Indiana Jones. (The same can be said for Nate when he sees Ray in his Han Solo costume. However, Ray doesn’t always see the point in dressing up, seeing as it usually all ends up on the floor five minutes later anyway).
  17. Who has the biggest kink (and what is it)? Ray once asked Nate if he liked Indiana Jones so much because of the whips. This prompted Nate to ask if the reason Ray liked Han Solo so much was because he was usually in handcuffs. (Jax wishes he didn’t have a room next to those two, and that the walls were thicker).
  18. Who is more aggressive in bed? At first, Nate was really careful in bed with Ray, because he was really scared of going all ‘Steel-On’ and accidentally hurting Ray. It wasn’t until Ray told Nate to stop treating him like a fragile doll (and that he liked being held down) that Nate decided to be a little bit more adventurous and aggressive in bed. (Alternatively: Ray kicks Nate in his sleep, and even though he can turn into Steel, the bruises still hurt). (Jax wants a new room).
  19. Who is constantly groping the other in public? Nate is shameless. It started off as one of those things to make Ray blush, and Nate hasn’t stopped doing it since he started, even though Mick says he’s going to gag, Martin’s eye does this weird twitching thing every time he sees Nate grope Ray’s ass, Amaya politely ignores their adolescent antics, and Sara always throws a saucy wink when she catches the two of them. Jax pretends not to notice anything and then asks Gideon if she can make brain bleach. The answer is unfortunately no.
  20. Lights on or off? On. They like to be able to see each other. (Ray is also afraid of the dark, but he pretends that he just wants to see Nate and his beautiful face. Nate is such a sappy dork that he believes this).
  21. Who is the animal lover? Ray always wanted a puppy when he was growing up, but he was allergic, so now that he has access to future drugs and antihistamines, he adopts all the stray pets he can find, and showers them with love. Nate does love animals, but “there is a limit, Ray”. He puts his foot down after the 6th half-drowned kitten Ray brings home. (Ray pouts for five minutes until Sara threatens to make Ray take all of the animals to a shelter if he adopts another animal). (He starts hiding them in Mick’s room. Mick only realises this when he finds a kitten in his underwear drawer).
  22. Who hogs the blankets? Nate steals all the blankets. His core temperature was lowered after his skin was turned to steel, and so he needs the blankets to stay warm. (Ray is highly doubtful about this explanation). However, he does learn to share the blankets after Ray threatens to kick him out of the bed if he wakes up with cold toes. One. More. Time.
  23. Who is basically used as a body pillow by the other? They swap during the night, and sometimes Ray will wake up with Nate’s head on his stomach (”seriously, I know that my skin turns to steel, but are your abs made of steel?”), or Nate will wake up to Ray’s warm breath puffing against his neck, head pillowed on his shoulder, curled up around his like some overly-warm, snuggly octopus.
  24. Do they ever spontaneously dance together? Sometimes, when they’re in the kitchen together, and Nate is baking something, an old song will come on the vintage radio (they have this for…some reason that nobody is quite clear on. Sara stole it from Stein’s younger self. He was rather upset at the revelation that this is where his favourite radio disappeared too). Ray will come up behind Nate, and slip his arms around his waist, rest his head on Nate’s shoulder, and they’ll just sway together to the music for a little while.
  25. Who has a really cute freckle and where? Ray has this really cute smattering of freckles in the middle of his back, and Nate loves kissing them one by one, because they’re ticklish and they make Ray blush
  26. Who sings in the shower? Nate will take his phone into the bathroom with him and put on his terrible, mismatched playlist, and sing completely out of tune to all of the songs. Rays pretty sure that Nate doesn’t even know the words to half the songs, and just makes most of it up
  27. Who takes pictures of the other at random times? They both do, thought Ray tends to do it more. After Anna died, he realised that he didn’t have many photos of them, at least not personal ones, and he used to freak out when he found himself forgetting things like what she looked like when she laughed, or first thing in the morning as the sun came through the windows. So he takes every opportunity he can to take pictures of Nate, so that he can never forget.
  28. Who does the laundry? Gideon. They’ll just chuck clothes in the direction of the laundry chute and hope that they go in. Half the time their room looks like a clothes-bomb exploded in there. Jax occasionally goes in to check that the two morons haven’t drowned in fabric yet, and drops off the clothes that Gideon has done, seeing as if it was left to Nate and Ray, they’d have literally nothing to wear. (Jax does not want to see Ray streaking to the laundry room to pick up all of his clothes ever again, thank you very much)(Sara recorded the entire thing as blackmail material)
  29. Who gets babied when they’re sick? Neither of them gets overly babied. Obviously they’re very worried, and Nate’s a lot more worried when Ray takes physical damage, but they don’t baby the other. They do, however, make (or get Gideon to replicate) chicken soup, and take care of the other when they’re sick

I hope that was ok for you anon, and that I did a good job with these two, since this is my first time doing a SteelAtom headcanon :)

Adventures in Gladnis

Well, tonight was a rollercoaster of feels, they couldn’t stay away from each other.

So there we go, story time under the cut because I have way too many pictures and I’ve narrowed down the selection as much as I can. ^ ^’’’ Click at your own risk. 

(also not completely safe for work, mostly because of my running commentary… I’d say sorry, but I’m not… :P)

Keep reading

ooc: Are you feeling very strained and tired out? Don’t worry, go ahead and take a nap. Or enjoy your favorite game or movie, you’ve earned it!

Feeling very slow with your replies and anxious that you’re feeling behind? Take your time, really! You’re completely fine! This is a hobby, you know. Enjoy it when you want to and rest when you need it!

Not having a good week at all? It happens, shit does happen a lot. You’ve made it through the week though, and that’s what matters. Keep going because I believe you can do it, all of my support is here for you! 

Sometimes rpers, artists, writers, and multiple people get tired out and stressed- but you know what? It’s completely fine! It’s alright to say sorry a lot, or if you’re in a bad mood, or if you’re feeling sad. You’re ok, please don’t think that you’re alone! 

You’re perfect as you are, and as much as it feels that things aren’t perfect or upbeat now, keep going! You’re doing wonderfully and i’m proud of you.