this thing is a dinosaur

u know what … i changed my mind… all u scientists out there who worked ur butts off just to have your research purposefully ignored by the government… do your science thing and bring back the dinosaurs… catch them ignoring you when a velociraptor is our next president…. like ding dong what’s that? it’s science, it doesn’t care about your silly ignorant opinion… it’s back with a vengeance… and it’s hungry, bitch

senshiofmom  asked:

Top 10 sailor Moon Monster of the week

10. Screaming violin woman (093)

9. Pegasus hits the gym (143)

8. WHAT the ACTUAL HELL (151)

7. An 80s stripper who also happens to be a shoe (106)

6. Me (114)

5. The animation department had a lot of extra pink paint (174)

4. An elephant vacuum cleaner, but like in a sexy way (094)

3. My breasts are two small screaming snowmen (038)

2. Ball Family (132, 140, 146)

1. A straight-up, actual volcano (067)

Ever needed to hear about mad dad birds with enormous feet? Try THESE on for size:

What’s that you say? These are clearly the feet of a dinosaur, not a bird? WHY NOT BOTH?

This is Australia’s very own dinosaur, the second-largest bird in the world, the emu. Say hi!

They roam around Australia making ‘wonk-wonk’ noises under their breath and glaring at everything. And the dads take care of the babies! They sit on the eggs…

They look after the tiny stripey adorable things….

They look after the less tiny less adorable things…

And they even look after the great big menacing things that are almost as big as they are.

But here’s the catch. All emus look pretty much alike. Especially when you are a tiny stripey adorable thing. All you can see of your dad is is great big dinosaur feet (see picture #1). So there is one very unrealistic thing about all the adorable terrifying dinosaur family photos above:

I have never seen an emu family in the wild where all the babies are the same size.

Here is the reason!

Emu dad and his emu babies are roaming about wonking and glaring at everyone. Suddenly emu dad sees another emu dad! A threat!

Emu dads do some display threats with dancing and bouncing and fluffing and… look, it’s very serious business, okay?

If this does not work to see off one emu they might progress to actual fighting.

Oops, sorry, you wanted the dignified version. Here, have some ART:

MAGNIFICENT.

Either way, this encounter will end up with one or both adult emus zooming away as fast as he can run. This is very fast.

This is the other thing they do besides wonking and glaring, by the way. They run. Fear the running emu.

Anyway, this leaves all the tiny and medium-sized and semi-large stripey things milling around making confused tiny “cheep? wonk?” noises and basically just following whichever pair of large feet they can find.

HI DAD

And so mostly when you see a male emu with a gaggle of youngsters at heel, they are all different sizes. Who knows whose they are? Not him! But he’s going to look after them anyway.

Fear him.

Humans are weird

I really love this whole humans are like the biggest oddity for aliens idea.
And I had this idea that’s swimming in my head for a while now.
If the aliens already think it’s a wonder we survive the conditions of our planet,
how must they think about our way of reproduction.
I mean the whole mammal-thing developed
practically only cause a little creature once thought:
“Eggs!?When they’re dinosaurs everywhere??I have a better idea!”

So what if aliens never needed to make this step?
When their reproductions are mostly through eggs,
sometimes other things and never like our system?

I mean just imagine:
You are one of the first humans to become a crewmate of a alien crew.
It was your dream since the first contact was made.
You were prepared for almost everything.
Just not for giving every damn alien you meet “the bloody talk“!

Somewhere in a bar on Planet Ur’tlz:

Alien A: “Whoa, this humans are really useful and stronger than they look!
You would never believe what the human of my ship did!”

Alien B: “Please tell me they didn’t gave you ‘the talk’….I’m still traumatized…”

A: “….what are you talking of?”

B: “I made the error to ask how they get their eggs to be safe
despite the dangerous planet they live on….they don’t lay eggs!”

A: “What?!

B: “They carry their brood like….
like parasites *shudder* in their body for almost a Quertemz!
Then they squeeze them through tiny body openings!
Sometimes for days!DAYS!

A: “Uh….”

B: “And it’s common to only get one offspring per reproduction!One!
They can die in the process, for Iz’klls sake!”

A: “I think my digestive system is rebelling…”

B: “So I decided to oversee the contact my human makes with other humans.
Because of some reason they only reproduce with humans of other gender,
so its not that hard….

A: “A bit….drastic, don’t you think?

B: “I like my human crew mate!
I don’t want them to die just cause the other humans
can’t let their weird little limbs of them!”

A: “Sounds like they imprinted on you.”

B: “Maybe…sounds like something crewmate George would do…”