this textbook is driving me crazy

masterlist of my smut

here’s all my smut in one place if anyone ever wants it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 

-Please Don’t Tease: Dan can’t come until he begs, which he most certainly will not.

-Push Leads to Shove:  Dan and Phil are known arch enemies. It’s a bit of a surprise that they end up fucking then, isn’t it?

-All Fun and Games: Dan and Phil play strip poker.

-Paper Cuts: Dan’s hands are covered in paper cuts, and masturbating has become entirely to difficult. Luckily Phil is there to help him.

-Valentine’s Desires: Phil knows that what Dan really wants is a rim job.

-Christmas Can’t Be Cancelled: Dan’s boarding school doesn’t allow the students to celebrate Christmas, so when they’re locked in their rooms for the day, Phil Lester makes sure to get locked in Dan’s room instead of his own.

-Mistletoe Miracles: Dan just wants to kiss Phil Lester under the mistletoe. And, okay, maybe he wants to do more than just kiss, but so what?

-Scarier Things:  Dan’s worst fear is being outed, and his boggart knows that. After being outed to his class, Phil shows him that there are scarier things than being gay (and maybe that wasn’t the smartest idea, but he’s a Hufflepuff, not a Ravenclaw).

-Sleepy Drawings: Dan is drowning is textbooks, and he can’t help it that he falls asleep in the library. Phil, an art major, can’t help it that he draws the sleeping boy, and neither of them can help the relationship that blooms.

-Trust Me: Phil gives Dan a handjob in class.

-Why You Should Wear Your Hearing Aids: Dan is deaf and doesn’t realize how loudl he’s being while he masturbates, which is driving Phil crazy (in a good way).

-The Gayest of Chickens: Dan and Phil play gay chicken.

-The Hickey: Dan’s a complete virgin and he’s never had a hickey before, so he asks his best friend for a favor.

—The Blowjob: (sequel to The Hickey) After asking his best friend for a hickey, and loving it, Dan asks for a second favor.

——The Sex: (Finale of the hickey/the blowjob oneshot series) Dan needs one more favor, and he knows exactly who to ask.

-I Know You’re So Pretty: Blind!Dan and Phil go to the bar and Dan gets horny when he’s drunk.

-Let’s Get Back To Hating Each Other: Hufflepuff!Phil hates Slytherin!Dan, so when they get in trouble together and decide to steal the documents that say they’re in trouble, he definitely doesn’t expect what happens next.

-Sleep Sex: Dan gets horny in his sleep and he lets Phil do what he wants with him.

-Risky Situations: Dan Howell and Phil Lester don’t like each other, but Dan had too much pride to turn down Phil’s dare, even if it was to masturbate during class.

-Thinking Out Louder:  (sequel to thinking out loud) Dan finds out about Phil’s ability.

-Sex in the Sex Store: Phil works in a sex store and Dan in a frequent customer. For once, he actually agrees to let Phil show him how to use his new toy.

-Misplaced Emotions: Dan Howell is a vampire who’s lost his humanity, and all he wants is to fuck Phil Lester, who just so happens to be a vampire hunter.

Into The Criminal Mind (Part 1)

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Trigger Warnings: Language, vague descriptions of violence

Word Count: 2110

A/N: This was written for Kari’s Favorite Things Challenge aka @thing-you-do-with-that-thing . My topic was Criminal Minds a shared favorite TV show of ours. This is only part 1 of a series, so trust me when I saw there is more planned. Well, in my head anyway. I still need to write it out on paper but there is a plot coming. Also, I made up the creature in the beginning. I couldn’t find a real myth that fitted what I wanted so I made one up. What are you gonna do? Sue me lol. Hope y’all enjoy.

Summary: You and the guys are in danger. The reason for it, you’re not exactly sure. Cas comes to warn you and transports you to another dimension. However, this dimension doesn’t have monsters, but it does have a serial killer on the loose. With Sam missing and you and Dean in FBI mode, you help the BAU track down this killer. When you become a target and Sammy’s whereabouts connected to the killer, what will Dean do to save the love of his life and protect his brother? Will Cas make it back to get you in time?

Keep reading

Suicide Squad sentence starters
  • “Don’t make make shoot you. “
  • “That is just a whole lot of pretty and a whole lot of crazy.”
  • “ We’re going for a drive. “
  • “ what no honor amongst thieve’s… “
  • “ When the shooting starts - and it will - you’re going to cut and run. I guarantee it. “
  • “Everyone’s has a weakness, and a weakness can be leverage. “
  • “ You ever been in love? “
  • “Another textbook sociopath.”
  • “Are you the devil? “
  • “ Here’s to honor… among thieves. “
  • “ In a world of monsters, this is the only way to protect the country.
  • “ Would you die for me? “
  • “ I’ll accept the consequences. “
  • “ You got a boyfriend/girlfriend? “
  • “ Let’s do something fun. “
  • “ You might wanna work on your team motivation thing. ”
  • “ Oh, he’s embarrassed of us… that’s so cute! “
  • “ Are you sweet talkin’ me? All'a that chitchat’s gonna getcha hurt… “
  • “ Love your perfume. What is that, the stench of death? “
  • “My job is to keep you alive until you die. You understand that?”
  • “ You might want to keep your mouth shut. “
  • “ Oh, they dead. “
  • “ I sleep where I want, when I want, with who I want. “
  • “ Booga-booga-booga! “
  • “ That’s too easy. Would you… would you live for me? Hmm? “
  • “ Please don’t touch me, please don’t touch me… “
  • “ All you need to know is: you work for me. “
  • “ Stay evil doll face… “
  • “ You know what they say about the crazy ones… “
  • “ Criminals deserve no mercy! “
  • “Let’s go save the world.”
  • “ They’re bad guys. “
  • “ We’re going to the swirling ring of trash in the sky. “
  • “ A walk in the park. Easy peasy. “
  • “I hear you’re the fire bloke, hey? “
  • “ I was just trying to get you there. No hard feelings, right? We’re good. “
  • “ He’s a psychotic antisocial freak. “
  • “ He just threatened me. “
  • “ Y’all jokers must be crazy. “
  • “ You’re going somewhere very bad. “
You’re okay, I guess.

Originally posted by taekookie-bts

Warnings: The moral of this story: Have sex with him. You’ll like him better than you think.

I’ve never wanted to get involved with him. He reeks the smell of trouble. His face has trouble written all over it. From head to toe, he screams out trouble. How come the more I try to avoid, the deeper I fall?

“Pick a number the sit according to the chart on the board. No complaints!” She slaps the table with her long ruler, indicates the cue for us to go pick our seats from the folded pieces of paper in the carton box. I, and of course my other classmates, have lots of concern about this new “random” seating arrangement. They all want to seat near their friends or smarter people whom they can copy the work from. But for me, I want to avoid one person, Jeon Jungkook. You may ask: “Well what’s wrong with this fine looking young man?”


Everything is wrong about him.

He has been haunting me longer than I could remember. My mind didn’t write down the memories about the day we’ve met but it did tell me once about my first impression for him: an active and energetic boy. I often saw him being caught up in troubles as if it was an addiction and he was overdosed. Somehow, he has my attention in the palm of his hand. My eyes reach for him, still they avoid his. Strangely enough, it wasn’t a one-way affection. The way Jungkook treats me feels different, neutrally different. It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad. Obvious seems to be the most accurate adjective to describe it. I see him everywhere: at the cafeteria, in the hallway, by the vending machine… until it became too usual to be just a coincidence. Our conversations would always start with him “offering” me to skip class with him and end with me rejecting him with a single word. I do question his reasons sometimes, not with him but with myself.

“12.” I exhale with relaxation and move to my new seat at the end of the class, next to the window. It is the perfect place to completely immerse myself in my works, without being bothered by the rest of this noisy class. I sit down and settle myself. The gentle spring breeze greets me, touching my braids teasingly as if it is flirting with me. I feel at ease looking at the strips of golden sunshine. The state of daydreaming approaches me through different media. The sound of rustling leaves sweeps me off my feet. I am flying to those cotton clouds.

“Hey! Earth to Y/N!” The pain spreads through my scalp where my braid is. My head follows its instinct and tilts the direction that my braid is being pulled. Anger can’t even describe the emotion I’m feeling, not after I know who the culprit is. There he is, sitting right next to me with his hand grabbing my braid and pulling it down, the one and only Jeon Jungkook. I hit his hand for him to release my hair. A tidal wave of anger and disappointment rushes through my organs. I shoot him with that you’re-not-welcome look and all I receive is a typical social smile that acquaintances give each other. He is sure that I’m not too stupid to not decipher that smile as a notice that for the next few months I’m going to experience hell at its finest.

I don’t talk to him at all for the rest of that day, trying to keep our conversations at the minimum. Meanwhile Jungkook, with all of his best effort, attempts to distract me every second. I lose count how many times he asks for a pen, a piece of paper, sharing textbook… It is driving me crazy. Still, showing it to him would just make him cockier about it. Time seems longer when I’m with him, not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. He leans back on his chair. Hands behind his neck, he settles himself in a laid back position and of course, restrains from doing any math questions.

“Are you not going to do this?” I turn to him, showing a bit of my honest anger.

“Don’t want to.” Only his eyes are facing me.

“Well you’re going to get into trouble with the teacher, again.” I stress on my words.

“That old hag can’t do anything to me.” His body slides down the chair. Now he looks like he is lying more than sitting. My eyes still glue to him. “What? You’re worried about me?” He smirks. My cheekbones suddenly feel like they just went out from a heated oven. My heart misses its cue to beat. “No. Do whatever you want.” I quickly turn away to hide the uncontrollable expressions on my face. Nervous and weak are the last emotions I want to show him.

“Oh… somebody’s lying.” He leans forward and closer to me, one hand twisting the end of my braid. His cheek presses on the table as he looks at my face from the bottom. I lean further away, even move my chair so I don’t look uncomfortable. Jungkook hand leaves my braid and places on my thigh where my skirt ends. I hit his hand but his fingers just keep digging in tighter. My legs stay numb, afraid that if I move them he would get the chance to go deeper under the skirt. The heat from his palm on my thigh evaporates my skin. I feel hotter and almost breathless. Now my heart has to work harder than its capability. He must be fascinated about my thigh. Sometimes he traces heart patterns on it.

The bell rings to end this awfully long period. We have gym next and I’m glad there can be some space between us for me to calm down. His hand leaves my thigh as the whole class stands up and becomes noisy. Before turning his back on me, he gives me a maleficent smirk and I can’t help but blush. He knows I could have screamed to the teacher when he touched my thigh, but I didn’t. I try to argue myself that I didn’t have a choice. However, my heart keeps throwing out these convincing testimonies. I rest my case.

Gym class starts with the friendly basketball game between the boys. As expected, Jungkook great athletic skill shines bright on the field. I’m too busy analyzing Jungkook to notice the aching volume of the girls cheering for him. The sweat drips from his forehead to his sharp jawline and paints his whole body with a glossy coat. The muscles in his arms appear and disappear as he works his way through the opponents and shoots the ball into the basket. His strong-built calves and even the veins shown through his thin skin attract my attention. The game ends faster than I thought. Our class wins.

My eyes stick with Jungkook for the rest of gym class. I wonder to myself how come a good athlete like him takes these exercises so lightly. He barely does what our teacher says, not even the easiest tasks like push-ups and running. There’s no doubt that he can do them all. It may just be that breaking the rules is his natural habitat.

I stay back to put the basketballs into the storing room. It isn’t my duty, but considering that we were the ones who took them out, I think it’s the right thing to put them back where they were again.

“Cleaning up?” Jungkook leans on the entrance of the room, holding the last basketball in his hand.

“Yeah. Why are you still here?” My arms cross in front of my chest.

“To help.” He steps towards me, closing the door behind him.

“Thanks.” I receive the ball from him. As he turns away, through the open of his backpack, I see the textbook for today’s class that he claimed to “forgot it at home”. I’m surprise and a bit angry.

“Jungkook… You have your textbook today with you…” I ask.

He turns around and flusters “Yeah…”

“Why did you lie to me?” My anger is on the top of my head.

“Well how do you think I’m going to get your attention now?” He yells out loud. His anger calms my anger down. His words stop half way through my brain. They are too vague for me to analyze. “Shit” He punches the locker. “I’m sorry okay? I know how much you hate me so… you know… what other choices do I have?” My body freezes. I just stand there, looking at him with zero expressions shown. He has his face looking at a different direction. His eyebrows squint together.

“Kiss me.” I say.

Jungkook looks at me puzzled, wondering if what he heard by his ears is what came out from my mouth.

“Give me a kiss like those romantic couples on TV. I’m giving you a choice now so do it before I change my mind.”

He steps closer until I’m at the bottom of his nose. His hands cup my cheeks and lift my face up. His rough lips touch mine, granting me this passion and lust. He starts tilting his head and our lips open. The kiss becomes tenser and lewder. His tongue gains its access into my mouth and tastes mine. I can taste the sweetness of strawberry from the tip of his taste buds. His hands leave my cheeks, trails down to my ass and then make their way to my thighs.

He cuts of the kiss and slams my back on the lockers. Stuck between his arms, my head tilts so he can nip the wet skin of my neck and collarbones. The heat of his body makes me sweat. Each time he sucks harder, my core feels like melting. I can swear there is water in my panties. My body tries to adapt this overloading sensual feeling but it’s too difficult. I start to shiver. He begins to suck harder, leaving pain lightly covers some areas on my neck.

“These are proves that you are mine. Mine only.” He whispers into my ears.

Jungkook pulls down my shorts and panties at the same time. He looks at my core for a long time, which is still in the process of developing sexually. He can tell this is my first time, not only by looking at my core, but my expression. He pulls down his shorts and underwear. His cock rises, pointing towards me. My thighs have the tendency to move closer, trying to protect my core from being seen.

“I’ll go gently. But if something goes wrong, tell me to stop.” His forehead touches mine as he tries to calm my nerves. He inserts himself into me. My core stretches out to receive him. It hurts a bit to adjust along with his size, but when he sinks in completely, my body can feel this mixture of these arousals. He starts slowly, thrusting into my pelvis to make sure I have to time adapt. But I learn this lesson quicker than that.

“Faster… go faster…” I struggle my words out of this suffocation. Jungkook goes faster. Water drips from my core to the side of my thighs, I’m not sure if it’s mine or it’s his. He pulls his dick out half way slowly then slam it in again, making sure I have enough energy to hit that climax. And I did, followed by my juice creating a mess between my legs. I sit down, feeling my core throbs and burns.

Jungkook gets a towel and cleans both of us up. He dresses me again and carries me of his back, switching his backpack to the front of his body. Exhaustion doesn’t allow me to see clearly. My cheek presses on his shoulders. His large back feels warm and for once, I don’t think about avoiding him. He’s okay, I guess.

For all of y’all thirsty people who asked for Jungkook doing you at school, hope this satisfied you. 3:20 am here so I apologize for the procrastination.

Inferior Te? More like a catastrophe waiting to happen

As a Fi-dom, you will never be able to win an argument with me. The closest you’ll get is an “okay, this has gone on for long enough, I don’t feel like continuing this since you obviously won’t see this from my perspective” or something along those lines. But, how does my Te act?

Well, first of all; I’m bossy. Not the regular, ‘hey, everyone listen to me so we can work together’, no. I’ll say, ‘now, everyone shut the fuck up; I know how to do this.’ I’ll point at people, tell them what to do and how, organize everything in detail and focus on getting it done (some Se-aux comes into the picture too).
Does this make me popular between my classmates/colleagues? Not at all. But when my Fi-Te is in action, I couldn’t care less. 

Some people would argue and say that it doesn’t sound like inferior Te, that I must have it as my auxiliary or tertiary function. Of course, I’d agree; but that isn’t the case.

My Te is probably very well defined because I was raised by two Te-users, (ENTJ and ISTJ). Seeing it being used so much around me, it’s caused me to develop it further than my other functions. I think early childhood and being exposed to different functions is an important part in how you use them yourself. (Now, I’m probably not the healthiest ISFP-example, so don’t worry if it’s different from yours)

But how do I know it’s inferior? Well, first; my Se takes over where my Te ends. I can organize items for hours (my desktop was sorted in alphabetical order), but when something changes (an item is added, removed etc) I immediately give up. I let it all fall into a mess once again. Only an inferior Te would have a bedroom as messy as mine (and no, I barely even have my own 'system’ to find anything in it. It’s a complete mess (something that drives my Te-dom and Te-aux parents crazy.))

I’m also not very good at taking in information. If something doesn’t make sense to me, I won’t be able to proceed a single step until I’ve figured it out. I can memorize everything, I can do everything 'textbook style’, but if it hasn’t really 'clicked’, I’ll get half of the answers wrong. I have no idea why, but that’s the way it is (I’m barely getting through science lessons, it drains me to try to understand something that my brain refuses to take in).

Worst/best thing about being a dominant Fi and inferior Te? It’s all or nothing. Either I’m the boss, or I don’t do anything to help the project at all. Either my room is cleaned in a flawless manner, or my rug will be invisible under all my clothes. Either I find something interesting, or it’s plain boring. Either I love you, or I hate you.

If I like being a Fi-dom? Not really. If it has it’s perks? Hell yeah. If I’ll try to love my functions for what they are? You fucking bet I will.

Thanks for reading, nerd.


Person A: *leans on chair next to Person B’s*

Person A: *smiles*

Person B: No.

Because I’m weak for young!Royai…

Read on AO3

Riza sighs.  Leaning back in her chair, she taps the end of her pencil against her lips, a small frown painting her face.  The words on the page in front of her swim as if they are in a completely different language – which, granted, they are – but Riza knows how to speak, read, and write a fair amount of Aerugoean.  Why she couldn’t at the moment was beyond her…

Keep reading


Now.  I saw this in the flesh.   

It destroyed me.

So I was thinking all the gifs today would be ok.

They weren’t.

So I told myself, ok, watch this gif 40726 times and it won’t drive you crazy with lust anymore. I can have a productive day.

I am on viewing #40727. 

No end in sight.

It doesn’t get better.

And my psych textbook is gathering dust.  I haven’t blinked in three hours and my hair is falling out.

Send help.