masterlist of my smut
here’s all my smut in one place if anyone ever wants it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
-Please Don’t Tease: Dan can’t come until he begs, which he most certainly will not.
-Push Leads to Shove: Dan and Phil are known arch enemies. It’s a bit of a surprise that they end up fucking then, isn’t it?
-All Fun and Games: Dan and Phil play strip poker.
-Paper Cuts: Dan’s hands are covered in paper cuts, and masturbating has become entirely to difficult. Luckily Phil is there to help him.
-Valentine’s Desires: Phil knows that what Dan really wants is a rim job.
-Christmas Can’t Be Cancelled: Dan’s boarding school doesn’t allow the students to celebrate Christmas, so when they’re locked in their rooms for the day, Phil Lester makes sure to get locked in Dan’s room instead of his own.
-Scarier Things: Dan’s worst fear is being outed, and his boggart knows that. After being outed to his class, Phil shows him that there are scarier things than being gay (and maybe that wasn’t the smartest idea, but he’s a Hufflepuff, not a Ravenclaw).
-Sleepy Drawings: Dan is drowning is textbooks, and he can’t help it that he falls asleep in the library. Phil, an art major, can’t help it that he draws the sleeping boy, and neither of them can help the relationship that blooms.
-Trust Me: Phil gives Dan a handjob in class.
-Why You Should Wear Your Hearing Aids: Dan is deaf and doesn’t realize how loudl he’s being while he masturbates, which is driving Phil crazy (in a good way).
-The Gayest of Chickens: Dan and Phil play gay chicken.
-The Hickey: Dan’s a complete virgin and he’s never had a hickey before, so he asks his best friend for a favor.
—The Blowjob: (sequel to The Hickey) After asking his best friend for a hickey, and loving it, Dan asks for a second favor.
——The Sex: (Finale of the hickey/the blowjob oneshot series) Dan needs one more favor, and he knows exactly who to ask.
-I Know You’re So Pretty: Blind!Dan and Phil go to the bar and Dan gets horny when he’s drunk.
-Let’s Get Back To Hating Each Other: Hufflepuff!Phil hates Slytherin!Dan, so when they get in trouble together and decide to steal the documents that say they’re in trouble, he definitely doesn’t expect what happens next.
-Sleep Sex: Dan gets horny in his sleep and he lets Phil do what he wants with him.
-Risky Situations: Dan Howell and Phil Lester don’t like each other, but Dan had too much pride to turn down Phil’s dare, even if it was to masturbate during class.
-Sex in the Sex Store: Phil works in a sex store and Dan in a frequent customer. For once, he actually agrees to let Phil show him how to use his new toy.
-Misplaced Emotions: Dan Howell is a vampire who’s lost his humanity, and all he wants is to fuck Phil Lester, who just so happens to be a vampire hunter.