this text post got out of hand

I enjoyed seeing the table in the vacation rental in his video now I can picture them all sitting down to have dinner together there as one big happy family :’) talking and laughing :’) dan and phil sharing stories they experienced together and going “no no no no that’s not what happened!” “oh please you were so not doing that” “alright fine you tell it you tell it” :’) martyn teasing phil about smth as all brothers do :’) cornelia and dan sharing inside jokes bc u KNOW they have them :’) dan and phil with their legs touching under the table :’) dan texting phil smth he doesn’t wanna say aloud and phil laughing aloud causing dan to give him That Look bc that defeated the whole point of texting it :’) having dessert together at which point kathryn gives dan extra bc “he’s my favourite” and phil pretends to be offended even tho he agrees :’) phil and martyn doing dishes while cornelia takes dan to show him her favourite curly hair products :’) sitting on the couch and watching some american sitcom together before going to bed :’) dan and phil staying up on their laptops or phones and then talking until one of them falls asleep :’) can u hear me crying :’)))))))))))))))

Valentines Day with the RFA
  • Saeyoung: Valentine's Day, right around the corner. MC and I have been on zero dates. So I got her a Valentine's Day card, but I didn't wanna seem "too eager," so I got cards for everyone in the RFA to kind of dilute it a little bit.
  • Saeyoung: *accidentally mixes up the cards before handing them out*
  • Yoosung: [reading Saeyoung's card] You brighten my day with the sound of your voice, you bring so much laughter and love, you're everything to me, and I was so blessed when God sent you here to me.
  • MC: Geez louise.
  • Yoosung: I know, obsessed with me much?
  • MC: Well, everyone got one...
  • Yoosung: What did yours say?
  • MC: Friends are worth sharing a doghouse with.

Steve: Years ago we lost our dear husband Tony. 

Tony: *hitting a locked door a distance away* Get me out of here or I swear I’m torching all your asses! 

Bucky: *hides the keys away* Sometimes we can still hear his voice. 

Tony: Open this damn door!

T’Challa: If you’ll excuse us we have a promised commitment that will keep us occupied and we eagerly wish to get to. Happy bedding. 

(Keith and Shiro walks into the room)

Lance:There you guys are! Where have you two been?

Keith:We were talking and then we were in the training deck.

Shiro:Then some things got out of hand.

Pidge:You’re wearing your shirt backwards.

Shiro:That was one of the things that got out of hand.

anonymous asked:

On your "things to stop thinkinh about bts" post, I feel like another thing to add is that fans need to stop messing with jungkook about him still being in high school. I see that so much especially on twitter and i just hope he never sees those tweets because they clown him hard.

A G R E E D.  i know it’s harmless jokes fans always got some kinda joke for every occasion but, Jeon Jungkook works HARD, so hard, literally SO hard, at every single thing. He works hard at being a son and feels that he still needs to work on that. He works hard as an idol, dancing, singing, meeting with fans, learning English to better communicate with foreign fans, working hard at MCing, working hard at opening up even though he says it’s hard for him to do, works hard at everything. School is the same.

And tbh, people seem to entirely forget, that Jeon Jeongguk met BTS and became a trainee at age like 13, he was a BABy. At this point, while I was getting home off the bus and eating hot pockets and watching recess, he was maintaining school as well as idol training. He was training countless hours at BIGHIT, this is an extra added stress that’s both mental and physical, throw that on top of the fact that Jungkook was a very shy boy, introverted and going through the toughest hormonal years of his life while maintaining training and school at the same time, that’s just the middleschool/early highschool stages.

Now skip to BTS debut, Jungkook was like 15 years old at the time. 15 years old. At this age, not only did he have to worry about regular training as well as school, he had to balance actual public debut. Not only did he have added responsibilities like; PR, added choreo, special choreo, learning stage life, fanmeets, public scrutiny, general prying, dieting and body/image management, he had to focus on school at this time.

They arguably rose to popularity around dope//i need u, this places jungkook around age 17 or so, still a regular highschoolers age. He’s now been delayed in highschool a few years thanks to a demanding schedule, a schedule which will only get worse in the future. Add to this having to grow up in the public spotlight, maybe not being the best at math in the first place, and generally having 100000% things to do every single day almost every single hour. It’s not wonder that he struggles with classes and has for some time. It’s no wonder he’s slowly working his way through his classes, trying to catch up to the other students while also maintaining idol life.

I know people like to clown him over it because it’s a funny joke or meme, but this kid works himself to the bone as a idol, and the fact that he has been leading the life he has, which no doubt is a HUGE contributor to why he’s still doing classes atm, idk, I think sometimes the jokes go a little overboard, but then again maybe i’m just being too uptiGht?

…actually no, I’m not uptight. I’m about 159% too tired™ to read one more jungkook is stupid, jungkook can’t read/do math, jungkook failing a subject meme, Imma go ham.

anyways have some headcanons about aaron driving roberts car because it’s my jam

  • the first time aaron drives roberts car, it’s because robert got absolute bladdered at one of their dinner dates (because it had been a hell of a week and he needed to let loose) and despite how drunk he was, robert spends the entire journey home mumbling incoherent orders at aaron about how to drive
  • the second time is because aaron literally wrangles roberts keys out of his hand, because he likes driving roberts car, okay? it’s a classic and it’s fun to drive. robert spends the entire journey digging his hands into his legs and trying not to have a breakdown because someone else is driving his car
  • but eventually robert chills the fuck out and sits back and enjoys someone else driving his car?? and it’s only because that someone else was aaron, and aaron is wearing robert’s sunglasses and driving them to manchester for a weekend away and it’s kind of the sexiest thing robert’s ever seen so he makes aaron pull into a lay-by and gives aaron the most epic blowjob
  • and from then on robert doesn’t mind aaron driving his car. he doesn’t love it, but every once in a while, he lets aaron take his keys from him and sit behind the wheel of his car, and robert just relaxes and watches aaron drive, and enjoys the concentration on aaron’s face as he drives
  • when they land back in the uk after their holiday in mauritius, robert is bone tired but ridiculously happy to see his car after six weeks (it’s his baby, ok) but aaron just grins and takes the keys out of robert’s jacket pocket and robert just can’t say no because his husband is all tanned and happy and relaxed and robert would just about let him do anything if it meant he could watch that smile on aaron’s face for a little longer
Spideypool Proposal
  • Wade Wilson: [goes down on one knee, and presents the finest of candy ring pops] Peter, will you marry me?
  • Peter Parker: Aren't rings supposed to be like 10% of your salary?
  • Wade Wilson: I stopped killing people with your help, so I am officially out of the mercenary business. In fact, I don't even have this month's rent.
  • Peter Parker: [starts tearing up] We're both so poor.
  • Wade Wilson: Are you okay?
  • Peter Parker: I'm just a little upset.
  • Wade Wilson: [stands up] Why??? Did I do something wrong? If you need more time, that's okay!!! I'm sorry for rushing things.
  • Peter Parker: No, it's just-- [gets down on one knee] You beat me to the proposal. [presents a plastic Spider-Man ring]
  • Wade Wilson: [gingerly takes ring and puts it on his pinky since that's the only finger that it barely fits] You've made me the happiest man alive, I'll keep this until it breaks! Which might not be too long because I will probably lose my hand during a fight or some shit. [pulls him into a hug]
  • Peter Parker: [smiles] Don't worry, I have more. [pulls out a whole bag]
  • And I'm sorry, but I'll probably eat yours when the ramen supply runs out.
  • Wade Wilson: You have a problem. But I got you covered, babe. [pulls out bag of ring pops] And they're all red.
  • Peter Parker: [smiles] I love you. [pulls him into a kiss]

While we’re on Headcanon Express here…

I like to think Dave is more unsettled by the differences between Dirk and Bro than the similarities.

Dirk does something frighteningly similar to Bro and Dave says nothing, hardly even thinks anything of it. They’re bound to be similar. That’s To Be Expected.

But sometimes he bangs his fucking shin on a coffee table at 3am while flashstepping and the goDDAMN X FILES THEME PLAYS IN DAVES HEAD AS HE STARES IN BEWILDERMENT. Dirk proceeds to curse under his breath about asspacking endtables as he makes himself a pot of coffee, all the while Dave’s entire world is falling apart. He thinks back. Had Bro ever clipped the coffee table? No? What the fuck, did he ever trip over a chair? NO? SLIP ON A SMUPPET… NO. No unexplained bumps in the night, no quiet cursing as he goes about his weird routines. Nothing.

I think that after a while he gets used to it, and takes comfort in the differences as well as the familiarity fostered by any resemblance he may share with dead relatives. But it takes time. And so it goes that for like 4 months Dave just quietly freaked out every time Dirk wasnt the untouchable broninja he grew up with.

Here’s the shippy stuff from the N/S/P concert last night in L.A.

Egor/aptor’s and Ni/nja Brian’s belts went out for some reason.  Eg/oraptor and Danny tried to relight them but pelvic thrusting at each other.   Egor/aptor also pelvic trusted into Nin/ja Brian’s face, when he was inspecting it.

Dan went partially into the crowd and of course people grabbed at him.  Why he acted surprised, no idea.  He then revealed that TW/RP talked him into wearing a cup in his costume. Perfect for that situation.  He then hit it with the microphone.  It was a loud thump.  Then Ni/nja Brian knelt down in front of him and flicked it, to Dan’s dismay.

Nin/ja Brian also kept standing really close to Danny and handing him water so much while he was talking that Danny got annoyed. 

I also found it adorable how after Ni/nja Brian screwed up playing Dinosaur laser fi/ght, Danny had the crowd chant ‘You fucked up!’ and Danny at first thought Ninj/a Brian was coming after him saying ‘Oh shit!’, but Nin/ja Brian actually stormed off stage and Danny was like ‘Oh, Brian’ reaching out his hand towards him, like in apology.


I recommend looking at it on DA for close up or on your phone

apparently you can’t lose your virginity until you get penetrated by a penis so by that logic all straight men are eternal virgins

s a c r i f i c e  t h e m 

ok so i just wanted to do an edit on the original post because this has gotten way more popular than i had anticipated and i need to clear some things up: 

  1. this post is 100% sarcasm and i believe that virginity is a social construct (although if it’s important to you personally, more power to you) and also please don’t actually sacrifice anyone
  2. this post is horribly cissexist and i’m super sorry that i didn’t realize that when i wrote it. lots of women have penises and lots of lesbians have sex with penises. “straight men” was meant to be read “straight cis men” and the fact that i neglected to write cis is a product of this disgustingly cis-centered society. people have called me a transphobe and a transmisogynist and as someone with a vagina who identifies as male some of the time, i wholeheartedly understand your frustration. please accept my sincerest apology.
  3. this post also does not account for male r*pe victims and that is the biggest fuckup, in my opinion, that i made. that being said, i don’t think that nonconsensual sex should be put in the same category as consensual sex, and if you were raped before you got to experience consensual sex, you are under no obligation to believe that you are no longer a legitimate virgin. virginity, as i understand it, is something that is enthusiastically handed over, and not taken forcibly. 
  4. lastly, i do know the actual definition of “virgin sacrifice.” my url is an ancient pagan greeting y’all

anyway i apologize for everything that is problematic about this post and ty for people who called it out

qvoro  asked:

soo uhhh rhack, 15 or 38? :)))

I tried to combine them with little luck so uhhhh here’s 38 and I’ll do 15 in another post?

Rhys knew he probably shouldn’t have gone into work that day.

He’d had a couple of rough nights sleep, and his waking hours were dedicated mostly to sliding even further into nausea and dizziness. He’d managed to power through the last few days, but when he’d woken up this morning he’d felt worse than ever, with barely enough energy to drag himself out of bed. He’d put his socks on the wrong feet twice in a row and put his toothbrush in his mouth the wrong way, but still he’d pressed onwards. One didn’t just “call out” of work when it your job was working as Handsome Jack’s personal assistant. 

So Rhys popped two aspirin and downed a cup of coffee with shaky hands before heading off to Jack’s office. 

Thankfully the CEO had largely been embroiled in yelling at someone over the ECHO to notice Rhys’ deteriorating condition. The young man spent most of the first few hours sniffling and groaning under his breath as he’d struggled to focus on re-arranging Jack’s schedule for the next few days. It had been hell, and he’d done his work three times slower than usual, but by the top of the hour he’d managed to cobble together something that would hopefully get Jack’s approval. 

So he’d taken a deep breath, bracing his hand against the arm of his chair and pushed himself shakily up to his feet, wobbling over to Jack’s chest to show what he had done and get his final approval.

Rhys had realized that he shouldn’t have gotten up about halfway through his hobble over to Jack’s desk. His vision started to swim, growing more blurry with the pound of his headache. He could feel his legs faltering, tongue paper dry as he struggled to articulate what was wrong with him. The last thing he remembered was Jack’s confused face as the CEO finally noticed him, before his world spun into darkness, the sound of worried yelling floating further and further away until Rhys fell completely unconscious

Rhys slowly awoke to the fuzzy sound of murmuring right above him. He let out a pained groaned, head turning to the side as his eyes fluttered open against the bright white light blazing above him. Thankfully, something quickly arched over him to obstruct the brilliance, casting Rhys in a grateful shadow. Rhys squinted his eyes, dazedly trying to make out what was above him, a small confused gasp escaping his lips when he did so.

“S….Sir…” God, he sounded terrible, like someone had run over his voice with a roomba. He closed his eyes again, not ready to deal with the reality of Jack getting pissed off at him for…whatever had happened. He just wanted to go to sleep, and he nearly felt himself slip back off again when something warm cupped his cheek, startling him back into wakefulness. 

“Huh? What’s…” Rhys blinked again, eyes falling to futilely try to see what was touching him, but suddenly he could feel the very clear sensation of fingers trailing down his cheek. He unconsciously tipped his chin up as they traced down his jawline to his chin, his throat bobbing as he swallowed around his rough, scratchy throat. 

So Jack was touching him. In a way that was….slow. Intimate. Like he was trying to study something particular in Rhys’ face. The young man trembled, licking his lips. 

“So, um…what….what happened…?” Jack let out a small laugh, his voice surprisingly sounding almost as rough as Rhys’. 

“You fainted….right into my arms, kiddo,” Jack tapped against Rhys’ chin, “you know, if you wanted my attention, you didn’t have to go to such extremes.”

Embarrassed flush colored Rhys’ cheeks. 

He really should have stayed at home today, huh.

“I….I didn’t do it on purpose…” Rhys defended weakly.

“Yeah, no shit. You had a fever of like….102? Something. Anyway I’m kind of surprised you even made it to my office.” Jack huffed, flicking Rhys’ chin before withdrawing his hand and settling back with a telltale plastic creak

“Next time you feel like shit, pumpkin, don’t even bother. The schedule you made was garbage anyway, so like,” Jack shrugged, “just save me the stress attack next time, ‘kay? They’re still working on getting me a cybernetic ticker.”

Rhys let out a ragged, tired sigh, hand groping uselessly at the hospital sheet. He could feel heat suddenly rise up in his cheeks, and he was about to blame it on the fever when he felt something wet bubble up in his eyes. 

“Are you? Oh, christ, kid, don’t do this…” Jack growled gruffly. Rhys heard his fist distantly hit the mattress, which coincided with the painful little hitch in his chest. 

Rhys wanted to stop, didn’t even know why he was crying. If Jack tried to bring it up later he was just going to blame it on fever delirium, but it was still fucking embarrassing in the moment and his boss was just making it worse

“Okay, stop that. Stop that…leaking. Stop it. Stop!” Jack snapped his fingers in front of Rhys’ eyes but the young man feebly batted at them, as more unwilling tears crawled down his cheeks. 

Ughhhh. You are. Such. A princess.” Jack whined, managing to sound more like a child than Rhys, who was currently bawling his eyes out for no reason. Rhys was honestly kind of ready to turn over and give him the cold shoulder (and more space to cry until he was done working through whatever emotional bullshit had taken hold) but an irritable slid of fingers between his own stalled him and caught him completely off guard. 

Jack’s ring was oddly warm against his fingers, radiating the heat from his palm as he–albeit gruffly–held his PA’s hand. Rhys looked up at him with wide, wet eyes, his tears starting to dry against his cheeks as he looked dumbly at their joined hands. 

“Don’t overthink this…” Jack growled, “just wanted to get you to stop frikkin’ sobbing…” 

Rhys let out a small sniff, but a shy smile crossed over his lips as he rubbed the last of the tears from his eyes. 

“L….Looks like it worked…” 

anonymous asked:

I got super drunk last week with a girlfriend and ended up texting the guy ive been sleeping with and went to his house really late. it was unbelievably hot! he grabbed the back of my neck and pulled me in for some rough, hot kissing and then forced me to my knees and fucked my face. then he tied my hands behind my back and fucked my brains out. best part, he recorded everything ;) so fuckin hot

ok but consider this: destiel pokémon go au
  • dean bumping into cas while walking around the street looking for pokémon
  • dean and cas meeting for the first time at a poké stop and they end up getting along well so they decide to continue looking for pokémon together
  • dean being in team valor and cas in team mystic and cas keeps taking over dean’s gyms and dean is pissed as hell
  • cas using a lure and dean being able to catch a high CP pokémon because of the lure so dean comes up to thank cas personally
  • dean and cas as best friends who are competing against each other to see who can hatch their eggs the fastest (cas winning in the end is technically unfair cause he’s a goddamn runner)
  • sam accidentally hearing dean and cas groaning in the same room and sprinting away because he thought dean and cas were having sex but they actually just got cut off from pokémon go’s server
  • dean and cas as best friends hunting for pokémon together and dean keeps yelling ridiculous poké stop names out loud while cas rolls his eyes affectionately
  • “dean i thought you told me that you were going to actually jog with me for real this time” “no but cas listen there’s a pikachu just right over there
  • dean blushing violently when cas finds out that dean names all of his pokémon after classic rock bands
  • dean as a cop who has to pull cas over for driving too slow and turns out it’s because he was driving while playing pokémon go
  • cas wanting to come into a coffee shop because there’s a pokémon inside and dean is the coffee shop owner who has a “pokémon are for paying customers only” sign on his door
  • cas stubbornly sitting outside the coffee shop and using a lure to attract other trainers who eventually come just to hang around outside of dean’s shop
  • dean glaring at cas through the glass door of the coffee shop and cas smiling smugly at him

Helllloooooooooooooo Kitty! - ScribeOnTheSide -Fire Emblem Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Fire Emblem: Soen no Kiseki/Akatsuki no Megami | Fire Emblem Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn, Fire Emblem Series
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Ike & Ranulf, Ike/Lay | Ranulf, Ike & Lay | Ranulf
Characters: Ike (Fire Emblem), Lay | Ranulf
Additional Tags: Underwear, character underwear, silly fluff, smut overtones, Why Did I Write This?, I Blame Tumblr, teasing ike, growling catboy, all the good things in life

Ranulf has a special present for Ike. Flirtation and teasing ensues.

A drabble that got out of hand.

Inspired by this tumblr post and a text from a friend regarding how fun new underwear is. No idea why this particular underwear caught my attention (which is a total lie cause *look at it*!) but still. One must take inspiration from all the weird sources, right?

Does anybody want to talk about werecoon!Stiles? I mean, a were raccoon. Think about it. Known for getting into anything and everything. Intelligent and inquisitive. Can be assholes. Cute hands! Consider werecoon!Stiles getting reeeeally good at lockpicking/pickpocketing/etc. with his super sensitive raccoon hands. Beta shift Stiles with the black eye mask. Grumpy and unimpressed Derek who can’t figure out how to keep Stiles from getting into his stuff. Full shift Stiles who likes to run his paws over wolf!Derek’s fur, scritch (and pull) his ears. Dousing! I’ve got multiple unfinished werecoon!Stiles sterek drawings and I just want somebody to enjoy this AU as much as I do. OTL

Originally posted by pommestudio

Originally posted by bengereksizadam

Originally posted by raccoons-for-life

Steve, Bucky and T’Challa being petty to each other by taking their nicknames for Tony because of the smallest things. Steve and Bucky calling Tony kitten when T’Challa ends up getting the first morning kiss. T’Challa and Steve calling Tony doll because Bucky got to hold Tony’s hand during a meeting. Bucky and T’Challa calling Tony sweetheart because Steve got the first slice of Tony’s cake. And not just things involving Tony. There ended up being a full out war because someone ate Bucky’s leftovers and he’s pretty sure it was Steve or T’Challa but neither of them are admitting it so he takes Steve’s favorite dish and T’Challa’s dinner share in retaliation. None of them ever realize it was Tony who took it during his zombie walk after working for hours.

anonymous asked:

For winteriron imagine that Bucky has never really tried any modern food bc hydra didn't care to feed him beyond what he needed to function and when he was on the run he didn't have a lot of options/time for trying new food. And when tony realizes this he starts to go out and buy a whole bunch of tasty food and takes Bucky out to eat all the time. Not even to fancy places but just a variety of different restaurants. And with Tony's help Bucky starts to develop preferences for food again

“What do you mean you never had sushi?”

Tony sounds almost offended, but Bucky just shakes his head and pulls his boyfriend closer against his side. 

“’s not like HYDRA had any interest in introducing me to new food, doll”, he replies, before he tilts Tony’s head back for a kiss. Bucky smiles when they part, a soft little thing that turns into a smirk. “Besides, I don’t think I missed anything important.”

Tony gasps and actively fights to get out of Bucky’s embrace. “Blasphemy!”, he exclaims. “You missed out on so much!”

He looks up at Bucky and his dark eyes are filled with that spark that Bucky loves. 

“I’ll help you catch up.”

Just like that, a plan is born.

Throughout the next weeks, Bucky discovers a whole lot of new food.Tony takes him out some days, introduces Bucky to “soul food” and sushi, shows him various dishes from around the world.

Other days they stay at home but they’re still doing the same thing, with Tony ordering whatever take-out restaurant seems crazy enough for Bucky to try.

Some things are incredibly tasty. 

Some are not.

But the best thing to Bucky is that he can all try it out. He can take time to find what out he likes, what he doesn’t. Which dishes he prefers, which one he tolerates and which ones he absolutely hates with a passion. (Looking at you here, pineapple pizza)

Bucky starts to develop preferences again and it may seem like an incredibly small thing, but to him, it means the world.

“Thank you”, Bucky whispers into Tony’s ear before he kisses his cheek. They whole team is gathered and enjoying today’s food experience. 

“What for?”, Tony whispers back, but his smile is far too knowing. 

Bucky kisses him again. “For this. For everything.” 

He pauses. Drops his head head into the crook of Tony’s neck.

“Thanks for making me feel like a person again.”

mypixelstories replied to your post “Also, @beaella9 Thank you! So much, for getting through all my posts,…”

Hahahaa I need to do the same!

I think you’re waaayyy back haha.
You were here when I first started my story which, yikes was over 60 pages ago.
I tell you guys I write way, way too much xD 

I always loved you, since you shipped Nia and Hana!
But you haven’t seen Hana with the new girl so I’m scared D:  

But yeah, just start from my recap lol that way you don’t have to read so much.
   [And maybe this post ‘cause I’m real proud of it hahah]

[Only person to get through every single post was @furiouslydecaffinated I have no idea how they did it.
sorry for the tag