this team i swear to god

Inner monologue of a mercy main

- Fuck fucking shit god damn it fuck

- WHERE’S MY TANK

- motherfucker

- *mocking voice* I need healing

- I’m at the other side of the map you dickbag

- YES I’M COMING GOD

- whoops nevermind I’m leaving

- Mistakes were made

- WHY WON’T YOU LET ME RUN AWAY

- I am very slow

- DON’T LEAVE ME ALONE

- Could someone take a step back so I can fly to them for fuck sake

- I can’t heal you from behind a FUCKING WALL

- COME BACK

- Pharah! :D

- *Pharah changes* Pharah D:

- That’s it I’m going battle-mercy

- whoops nevermind² I can’t aim

- [screaming]

- Fucking Genji

- fUCKING HANZO

- Fucking hell

- Fuck you

- Fuck me

- I swear to god if I’m the only healer—

- DON’T RUN AWAY FROM ME

- I could have resurected you but I’M DEAD

- ffffffffuck

- There’s one dps too many in this team

- I’m dead and it’s all your fault

- GET ON THE FUCKING POINT

- I will contest this point if it’s the last thing I ever do

- vote for me you coward

I had so much fun on Ready Player 3, I laughed almost nonstop and honestly? It was a blast. I’ve never seen a crowd be so competetive in mario like damn in the end everyone was almosy screaminh their team chant but OBVIOUSLY TEAM YOSHI WON, THE BEST TEAM! I cant fuckinh believe that Italian pickup line like I literally died laughing.

I swear to god that goodbye’s are impossibly hard. I can’t believe it’s over, your show in Sweden was mindblowing but that didn’t help when you walked off the stage.

I know I’ll never meet you Sean and you’ll most likely wont see this either but just know that you’re my biggest inspiration in life. Without you I wouldnt be the person I am today, you and Signe inspires me to become the best version of me so thank you so so much *viral hugs*

I bet in the early days of the Justice League, when the original seven were still trying to work as a team, before any of the sidekicks came, before the Justice League became a giant extended family, the other members would occasionally forget that Batman was a father to a tiny, energetic little boy until they were forcibly reminded.

“I’m afraid we’re going to have to move the budget meeting this Saturday. Yes, I’m afraid something more important has come up. Dick is asking to go back to the Natural History museum for the 6th time this month. He likes the wooly mammoths, they remind him of elephants.”

“Yes I understand, Luthor’s plans need to be… Wait, can you hold on a second Clark?… Dick, I swear to God if you jump off that banister you may survive the fall but you will not survive me, do you understand? Yes, I thought so… Sorry, you were saying Superman?”

 "Flash, act natural, pretend we are in a serious discussion and I am asking for your signature for very important League business and not because Dick has been begging for your autograph since he heard about you joining the team. Dammit Allen do not smile like that this is serious.“

"Get your mind out of the gutter Jordan, there’s a thunderstorm in Gotham and Dick’s stuffed animal was frightened of the lightening. Why else would he be in my bed at 4 in morning? More importantly, why are you calling at this hour causing my rightful cranky son to answer the phone?”

“You’re a magnificent warrior Wonder Woman but motherly you are not. You need to hold them properly, like this, to soothe their fears. Dick likes to be held after a nightmare, you just stroke their head, assure them that everything will be fine, perhaps rock them gently… genTLY DIANA.”

“Aquaman, do you have a moment? Dick’s been feeling a bit lonely at the manor, I’d like to get him a pet but with our busy schedules it needs to be something manageable. How the hell did you did ‘Tiger Shark’ out of 'Manageable’? I just want a damn goldfish." 

"I don’t take your meaning Cyborg I am very clearly doing work here. Yes, that monitor in the corner is always running, it’s just security footage from the house. Yes, I check in to make sure Dick is still safe in bed and he hasn’t been kidnapped or started climbing the chimney again. No, I am not being overprotective, just wait until you have children Victor then talk to me.”

i found this post in my drafts and have ZERO memory of writing it (thank u alcohol) so im gonna put it in my queue lol
  • ok but imagine 
  • Bitty comes out to his parents but he doesn’t tell them about Jack, thinks it’s for the best, maybe to ease his parents into things or maybe to keep the pool of People Who Know as small as possible 
  • and like yeah Ransom and Holster are super oblivious but Suzanne Bittle is not, not when it comes to her son, because she is a certified Nosy Southern Mother and she can see he’s been acting differently, happier but quieter, always on his phone and blushing when she asks about boys
  • and he talks about the team a LOT 
  • Jack’s one of his best friends and he’s just started his NHL career, so of course Bitty’s never gonna shut up about Jack
  • (Same goes for Shitty and law school. And eventually Ransom and med school. Dicky is proud of his friends and wants everyone to know. He gets that trait from Suzanne, she understands)
  • but he keeps talking about this one Boy, how sweet he is and how his smile is like a sack of puppies and how bitty’s always making this boy do things with him like baking and getting froyo and going shopping and Suzanne is like. Yes. This must be Dicky’s secret boyfriend. 
  •  the next family weekend or whatever, Suzanne demands to meet this Chowder boy who’s stolen Bitty’s heart
  • Bitty is both confused and mortified

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here have some AUs as if there aren't enough on your dash already
  • “i came to the gym to work out but holy god i can’t stop watching you do one armed push ups that’s so hot” au
  • “this is totally awkward considering before this the only interactions we’ve ever had have been casual nods to each other in the hallway but there’s a huge fucking spider in my bath tub and you seem like the friendly neighbor type please help me” au
  • "you’re the only delivery person who gets to my house in any semblance of the word fast which is why i keep requesting you but you don’t believe me and tease me constantly about it” au
  • “okay i get it you’re a great thief and don’t want to go to jail but i’m the exhausted af detective that’s assigned to catch you i stg if you let me bring you in so i can sleep i’ll get you a good deal” au
  • "okay i get that there are no seats left in this cafe but like i am trying to read here no you cannot have this chair my feet are using it thank you very much please get out of my face now” au
  • “my parents moved me halfway across the world when we were twelve and before that we were best friends but now i’m back and moving in across the hall from you so hi?” au
  • “i’ve been travelling a lot and somehow you’re in every single city i go to seriously what the fuck who even are you how are you doing this” au
  • “we’ve been nothing but friends for our whole lives but then we played seven minutes in heaven on a dare and now i think i might actually be in love with you” au
  • “ngl i thought you were the weak one of this friend group but your whole life just went to complete shit around you and somehow you’re still acting the same so if you want to be weak you can be around me” au
  • “my guitarist quit the night before the gig that could mean the big break for a band that i have put my soul into and supposedly you’re really good but i swear to god if you screw this up for me i will hunt you down and slit your throat” au
  • “it seems we’re the only two people in this class that actually know what the fuck is going on want to team up for this project and ruin everybody’s lives” au
  • “we started arguing about which hogwarts house this one character would be in and we completely lost track of time and now you’re demanding i take you out to dinner is this a date” au
  • “i’m the private investigator that was hired by your ex to track you down and you totally caught me sitting outside your apartment in a rental car so hi what up” au
  • “i came to check out this support group but things have kind of been majorly sucking lately and you were there and i didn’t even know anything was wrong but we’ve known each other for months what gives” au
  • “i’m the lawyer helping you get custody of your daughter and oops you’re all kinds of adorable with her and also i think she’s growing attached to me is this good or bad” au
  • “i meant to text the contact one above you in my phone’s contact list for a booty call but i didn’t realize i hit your name until i sent it so now i’m just sitting here feeling those little three dots hardcore judging me” au
  • “we started dating after months of sexual tension between us but then you moved across the country so now we’re trying to figure out how to make this brand new relationship work long distance” au
  • “so not to be rude or anything but i’ve been coming to this cemetery at this time on this day every week for fucking years and i’ve always been alone up until now seriously what the hell” au
  • “it’s the middle of the night and i’m walking home alone in the dark and there’s this guy following me and he’s starting to gain on me and i found this phone booth with a lock on the door and i tried to call my best friend but my hands were shaking so badly i accidentally dialed the wrong number and i don’t even know you but help me” au
The Young Justice team as things my chemistry class has said:

M'gann: *teacher announces pop quiz* “Where are the aliens when you need them, and can they please abduct me and take me away from this awful place" 

Artemis: "I’ll have you know, there’s fifteen bags of pot in my locker and I swear to god I’ll break into your house, plant them all under your pillow, and have the police take you away unless you give back that strawberry smencil right now" 

Jaime: "I want to die” “Wow, same, let’s jump out that window while the teacher’s not looking”  

Wally: “What do you get when you mix beauty and a nice personality? A date with me, hello" 

Conner: *breaks hour long silence* "You know, I ate a shark once" 

Kaldur:*kid answers obvious question completely wrong* Teacher: "You know, I could have been a surgeon or a scientist, but nooo, I decided to come here and meet all of you people" 

Zatanna: "Wtf, I got a hundred on the quiz?!” *whispers* “Thank you, illuminati”

Bart: *lights Bunsen burner and holds finger near flame* “I’ll touch this for a dollar”

Raquel: *two students are talking three feet away from each other* “OH MAH GAWD, GET A ROOM" 

Roy: "Where do babies come from?” “Yo mamma" 

Dick: "How much of these chemicals do I have to drink to get superpowers" 

Tim: "My brother got arrested yesterday, so guess who’s the favorite child now”

Mal:*principal announces lockdown drill over loudspeaker* “Oh well, I guess we’re all dying today, it was fun while it lasted" 

Virgil: "Excuse me teacher? Yeah, um, my sleeve caught on fire what do I do now" 

Garfield: "I swear to god my dog actually ate my homework you have to believe me”   

psylockethe2nd  asked:

Imagine The Losers Club as the most dysfunctional superhero team

ok but listen i Love this so much i could even write a fic for this au
have some headcanons about their abilities;

Bill: Telekinesis. Bill can move litterally anything he wants with his mind. at first it was little stuff like a pen or a paper sheet, but the more he grown up, the bigger his power became. he’ll soon discover his abilities are, in fact, related to his emotions, and the stronger the emotions he will feel will be, the bigger the objets he will be able to move will get, even people.
“no Stan, I won’t l-l-let you move. You’ll come with us and save this f-f-fucking city.”

Richie: Invisibility. Richie can render himself unseen by everyone and do whatever he wants without being seen. he keeps using his power on bad purposes like to annoy the other members of the team and scaring them all the time, or to steals stuff
”oooOOOOooh i’m the ghost of Eddie’s underpant, flying through the house!!!”

Stan: Telepathy. Stan can read people’s mind, but also affect their minds/thoughts. It started with terrible headaches, then he started hearing voices that werent his (the poor boy was terrified).
Now he has learn how to control his power and can choose to hear only one person’s thoughts at once
”….I wish I didn’t hear what you were thinking about, Richie. You’re so gross…..”

Eddie: Healing factor. Just by touching someone’s injury, Eddie can heal it and take all of their pain. Unfortunately, it’s only working on other people, but not on himself. He discovered his powers by touching a bird which couldn’t fly, and flew away as soon as his hand touched it.
”Could you stop hurting yourself on purpose all the fucking time to see if my power still works?? Of course it still works!!”

Mike: Fire Manipulation. Mike can create, shape and manipulate fire with his hands. Like the other members of his team, he couldn’t control his power, and everytime he would have a strong (negative) emotion, he would create fire. Unfortunately, his power was also the cause of many incendies, inclunding his own house…
”If you tell me one more time “hot damn” I swear to god…”

Ben: Enhanced Strength. Ben can lift approximately 10 tons with his hands,  he can crush, lift, throw, or catch items of great weight without hurting himself. Like most members of the team, Ben’s abilities gets stronger when he gets a negative feeling, especially anger or sadness. Scared to hurt people, Ben can’t touch anyone until he will be able to have a better control of his own strenght
”I’ve already told you; I won’t carry all your bikes in my arms because you guys don’t want to ride them home…”

Beverly: Plants manipulation.  Beverly can create, shape and manipulate plants, including trees, vines, flowers, but also part of the plants (leaves/fruits). She can also revive withered or dead plants just by touching them with her hands, make them grown flowers, fruits.  yea… kinda like Poison Ivy!
The other members of the team love her power, she’s also the one who made them their “secret base” as they’re calling it; a cabin on a tree

Y’ALL I JUST HAD THE BIGGEST REALIZATION OF MY LIFE

okay so you know how Jeremy Shada was talking about how he found out Lance was Cuban????? and how he found out by reading a line Lance has that says something along the lines of “I’m just a boy from Cuba”???

i just realized that that line actually sounds like he could be seriously devaluing himself with those words. what if Jeremy accidentally gave us a look into a future emotional moment for Lance and his insecurities???

think about it. he could be talking to one or more team members in this line! what if he’s comparing himself to everyone else on the team, pointing out how they all are so talented and useful to the team and is like “you all have something that makes you useful and important, and i’m just a boy from Cuba…”

i’m losing my shit my dudes!!!!

I was looking for Russian names and found out that Georgi and Yuri are both variation of the name George and come from the same root, so technically there are three (3) Yuris in Yuri on ice and I’m so done with this show

i have this loooming fear that rupaul/the producers are gonna pull some fucking straight up bullshit where they keep showing us sasha and shea’s friendship and then put them both undeservedly in the bottom 2 and make them lip sync against each other i’m literally fuming thinking about it 

You Owe Me

Spencer Reid x Reader (smut)

Requested: Yes. You guys wanted a part two to Let Me Help and so I delivered ;)

Word Count: 1,811, Warnings: Swearing, NSFW, Oral Sex, Wall Sex, Just sex in general tbh.

A/N: So I seriously don’t know whether this is good or not lmao, I tried my hardest. I was listening to Feel It by Jacquees whilst writing it and just oh my god if you haven’t heard it please listen to it. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy it!

After you managed to catch the UnSub that was disfiguring women and stabbing them in the chest you and the rest of the team were heading back to Quantico on the jet. You sat down in the comfy, creme coloured chair and closed your unrested eyes as you heard the rest of the team load onto the jet. You hugged your form as the air conditioning pumped throughout the plane whilst getting ready for take off. You felt someone sit opposite you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to open your eyes. You were so tired from the long nights and the constant moving around that you just wanted to relax for once.

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anonymous asked:

6 and 25 with Buck

6. “Move away from the door and let me at him.” +
25. “Put me down!”- Bucky Barnes

Bucky Barnes had a very special talent of being able to drive you up the wall without saying a single word. His mere presence was enough to annoy you, and he knew it. However, one or two of your friends continuously hinted that what you were feeling wasn’t exactly annoyance.

“You do!” Wanda exclaimed, eating a large spoon of chocolate ice cream, “You so like him, you just won’t admit it!”

“I do not like that egotistic, careless, brutish, arrogant…” You ranted, kicking your legs up in the air as you lay upside down on your bed.

“Okay, okay, we get the point!” Natasha interrupted, chuckling quietly to herself as she filed her nails.

“I can’t believe you are trying to deny this, I can literally read your mind.” Wanda smirked, laughing as you threw a pillow at her head.

Meanwhile…

“Shutup Wilson, I do not like her, she’s insufferable!” Bucky grunted, taking a swig of his beer as he flipped his friend off.

“Oh come on man, you seek her out like a damn moth to a flame!” Sam chuckled, pointing the neck of his beer in Bucky’s direction

“He’s right Buck, it’s the age old awful stereotype of a little boy pulling a little girls pigtails because he likes her.” Steve smirked, bumping his fist with Sam as they both laughed at their clueless friend.

“That’s bullshit and you know it!” Bucky exclaimed, scowling as his friends continued to laugh at him. “Fine! What’ve I gotta do to get you jerks off my back?” He asked, folding his arms across his chest.

“Ooooh, this could be interesting…” Sam grinned, looking over at his blond friend, “So many opportunities!”

“It has to be something she’d hate, something that would make her so annoyed that she’d get that look like she was about to explode…” Steve hummed, dropping his head back against the sofa.

“I know!” Sam clicked his fingers, jumping up from his seat, “Drop her in the pool!”

“Seriously, that’s it?” Bucky scoffed, placing his bottle down on the coffee table.

“Ooh, no that’s good!” Steve murmured, “She hates water, comes with the pyromancer territory.”

“Okay, fine!” Bucky huffed, getting up and storming out of the room, Steve and Sam following behind him like excitable children.

Meanwhile…

“And then, it blew up in his face!” Wanda laughed, causing you and Natasha to burst out laughing as well.

“Stark’s such an idiot.” You chuckled fondly, flicking through your instagram feed on your phone. 

Just as Natasha began regaling the two of you with stories of failed missions, the door slammed open and the last person in the world you wanted to see came striding in.

“Barnes, what the fu-” You exclaimed, not being able to finish your sentence before you were scooped up in his arms and thrown over his shoulder.

“Put me down!” You shouted, hitting your fists against his back as he carried you through the corridors, “What the hell do you think your doing?”

As the two of you walked through a set of double doors, you still struggling in his grip, it suddenly became very clear where he was taking you. Going still for a moment, you dropped your voice an octave before growling.

“James Buchanan Barnes, I swear to god if you drop me in the pool, you will rue the day you were ever born!”

Without another word, you were unceremoniously dropped in the cold water, spluttering and shivering your broke the surface to see the faces of 4 of your team mates looking utterly shocked, and the 5th looking way to smug.

“What the fuck Barnes?” Wanda exclaimed, turning to glare at the super soldier. Moving silently through the water, you pulled yourself out, barely controlling your anger.

“I can’t believe he actually did it…” Sam murmured to Steve, both boys looking ridiculously guilty.

“You better run Barnes.” Natasha said ominously, raising an eyebrow at the brunette as he started looking more nervous, inching towards the double doors before making a run for it.

In a matter of seconds, the doors slammed shut and Steve and Sam moved into place in front of them, blocking your path. Finally losing your cool, you charged at the two men, snarling as Steve wrapped an arm around your middle to stop your way.

“Move away from the door and let me at him.” You growled, tears rolling down your cheeks.

“Y/N… this is all just a big misunderstanding…” Steve murmured placatingly brows furrowing as you continued to struggle. 

“This isn’t a misunderstanding Steve, everyone here knows how much I hate water, he’s just a huge jackass!” You snarled, losing a bit of your edge as a sob broke past your lips.

“Y/N I-” Sam, trailing off as the two finally let you go.

You weren’t going to confront Barnes now, no, you were going to cry in your room. About your fear of water, and how this guy you had slowly fallen for turned out to be exactly who you thought he was all along.

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