A Way to You Again: Part 9
Pairings: Bucky x Reader
Word Count: 1792
Summary: Bucky and Y/N have been fairly successful at keeping their relationship hidden from the rest of the Avengers. That is… until Nat walks into the kitchen one night and finds Bucky kissing Y/N. While Y/N is relieved that their relationship is out in the open it soon becomes more complicated than she could have ever imagined.
Author’s Notes: Thanks to the lovely @melconnor2007 for the request. Holy mother of confrontations.
I felt the couch shift slightly as someone sat beside me. I immediately knew who it was, and I was happy to act like I was sleeping until the end of time to avoid him. “Y/N,” Bucky whispered softly as he placed his hand on my back. I stiffened at the contact.
“Don’t,” I snapped as I sat up and looked at him. I could tell it was nearing the early dawn hours by the soft yellow light that flooded through the windows.
“Please doll,” he whispered as he placed his hand back in his lap. “I didn’t ask for her to be there. I told her to leave right before you came in,” he explained – desperation dripping from his voice.
“Don’t you get it?” I laughed as I hastily wiped tears away from my eyes. “You did ask for it, Bucky. You slept with her and kept it a secret before breaking it off…” I paused for a moment before turning to him. “Did you even really break it off or were you seeing her when you started spending time with me?” The words sounded much more accusatory than I had meant for them to be.
Bucky blinked for a moment – shocked at the words that had come out of my mouth – before anger flashed across his face. “For Christ’s sake, Y/N! If you would just let me explain what happened!” he answered, exasperated, as he slammed his fist onto the couch.
“I think I can sum it up quite nicely. You fucked my best friend, and kept it a secret from everyone on the team. You then broke it off with her— knowing that she had feelings for you, and began pursuing me. You then did the exact same thing to me,” I muttered bitterly as I looked anywhere but at him.
“Except I didn’t break it off with you – you ran away. Off to some place that I couldn’t find, and refused to talk to anyone. And then when I called to apologize you told me it’s over, and hung up. Let’s not forget about the sister I never knew existed.” Bucky was becoming more agitated by the minute as he struggled to reign in his emotions.
“I didn’t tell you about her because I was trying to protect her!” I shouted as I angrily pushed myself off the couch.
“And why won’t you believe me when I tell you the same thing?” he asked as with a sad sigh. His anger had deflated and he was grappling for words as he ran his hands through his hair nervously. The sight of him looking so helpless and confused disarmed me and I felt my own anger ebb. All the things that Steve had confided in me about Bucky’s happiness and subsequent withdrawal after I had left came flooding back. I sat down beside him softly.
“When did you start having nightmares again?” I asked quietly. In the months that we had been together he rarely had nightmares, and even when he did they were no where close to what he had had tonight.
“Since you left,” he responded just as quietly.
“I’m sorry I left. I know it wasn’t the right thing to do. I should have stayed and talked to you…. I missed you,” I added as I rested my hand over his.
“Then nothing else matters. It’s all in the past. We can move forward,” he responded fiercely as he gazed up into my eyes.
His words echoed back to those of another, who had once said the the same thing—holding me captive with the promise of a better tomorrow for years. I could feel the chill creep into my heart again as I quickly removed my hand and watched Bucky’s face melt into confusion. “It does matter and you know it,” I responded brutally.
“Why? Why can’t we talk about this and move on from it?” Bucky pleaded.
“Because I love you!” I yelled at him as I pushed off the couch once again. I froze at my sudden announcement. I hadn’t meant to say it – I had just been trying to reason my feelings out in my mind and it had slipped through. I looked at Bucky as he sat frozen on the couch. His mouth opened and closed several times; unable to formulate any type of response to me. I turned to leave – it was like I was living my own personal nightmare. I had prepared for this revelation as best as I could, but I had failed miserably in its delivery.
“Y/N, wait,” Bucky breathed as his hand wrapped around my arm – stopping me in my tracks. I turned to look at him again, but still saw the same troubled and terrified blue eyes that I had witnessed when I had accidentally confessed my feelings. “I…”
“Just tell me this Bucky – why did your best friend have to come find me in secret? Why wasn’t it you?” I asked bitterly as tears stung my eyes. Bucky looked down at the ground unable to answer me. “Jesus Christ – I can’t stay here and look at you like this,” I muttered as I yanked my arm from his grasp and turned to leave. As I stepped into the elevator I turned to make sure he wasn’t following me and saw him standing in the same spot I had left him. Just before the doors closed he turned to look at me with tears in his eyes.
I slumped against the wall of the elevator once the doors had closed. I felt like I had had the breath knocked out of me. Tears trailed down my cheeks as I tried desperately to regain my composure. Some of the others would be awake by now and I didn’t want to stir any suspicion. I couldn’t answer their questions – no matter how well intended they might be.
As the elevator doors opened to the common room I rushed through them – determined to dart to my room. In my panic I wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings and ran into Steve.
“Woah, Y/N! Where’s the fire?” he chuckled. The humor in his eyes extinguished when he looked at my bloodshot eyes and tear stained cheeks. “What happened?”
“I…” I was finding it hard to speak, and keep my composure. “I walked in on Nat comforting Bucky after a nightmare and I…” Steve visibly tensed at this.
“Go on,” he said as he wrapped his arms around me and brought my head to his chest.
“I… he followed me, and I confronted him… and… I told him I loved him,” I whispered as I buried my head into Steve’s chest. I just wanted to disappear. “And he didn’t say anything, Steve… He just stood there.”
“Y/N,” Bucky’s voice came from behind me. I stiffened at the sound. I didn’t want to be anywhere near him. Steve hugged me tight as he sighed into my hair.
“Y/N, you should head back to your room. I’ll come check on you in a second,” Steve muttered. I looked up at him confused.
“Steve, I can…” but the look he gave me stopped me in my tracks. I swallowed hard before Steve’s arms dropped to his side and I half-turned defensively towards Bucky.
“Y/N, I…” but Bucky’s words were halted by Steve’s fist hitting him straight in the jaw. He blinked once before falling to his knees. He stared at me as I turned to leave.
“What the hell were you thinking?” Steve asked angrily as I retreated to my room – unwilling to participate in a super soldier brawl.
I slumped back to rest my head on my door. I was dizzy from the tale-spin of emotions that I had just endured. I heard Bucky trudge down the hallway with Steve close behind him.
“What are you doing?!” Steve demanded before a door slammed – securing both men safely in Bucky’s room, and making it less likely that they would wake up the entire tower.
“What am I doing?!” Bucky bellowed back. “I’m trying to win my girl back, and you keep getting in the way Rogers!”
“What the hell are you talking about Buck?” Steve asked – astonishment driving his voice to become even louder.
“Every time I turn around you are there with her. How am I supposed to even get a second to make things right when you are always there?!” Bucky yelled back at him before quieting himself – he must have regained enough sense to realize I could hear everything he was saying.
“You’re kidding, right? You don’t need my help fucking things up, Buck. You’re doing great on your own,” Steve answered incredulously. I could tell that Steve was trying to regain control of his anger but was struggling. “She literally ran away from you, and you refused to run after her. If it wasn’t for me she wouldn’t even be here, you fucking idiot!”
Silence lapsed between the two men as I held my breath – waiting for Bucky’s response. There was of course no way I could have known that Bucky would snap and run full force towards his best friend. Suddenly there was a loud crash and a cloud of debris as the two men came hurtling through the wall –Bucky with his hands still around Steve’s throat. I shrieked in response as I scrambled off of my bed and into the corner of the room as the two men crashed onto the floor. They rolled around – jabbing at one another and grunting. After the initial shock wore off I looked at the gaping hole that now adorned my bedroom wall, and felt anger bubble up from within me.
“What the fuck do you two think you’re doing?!” I screeched as I stomped over to the two of them and fruitlessly attempted to pry them apart. The men continued to fight as I yelled at them. Hot angry tears rolled from my eyes as they finally broke apart – realizing suddenly where they were and what they were doing.
Bucky scrambled to his feet quickly – his hair in disarray and he shirt partially torn. “Doll I am so..”
“What the fuck gives you the right to act like fucking two-year olds? Both of you are grown ass men! God! Just get out of my room!” I yelled as I stomped my foot in frustration. Without saying another word both men quickly exited. I groaned as I looked at the gaping hole in the wall near my bed. As Bucky entered his own room I realized there was no way I could stay. Not without seeing him, and hearing him every second – I angrily padded across the room, and grabbed my gym bag before making my way to the gym.
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