Do you have any Shisui headcanons?
(Happy!AU again bc I want to and you can’t stop me.)
- Voted Most Likely to Die Before Puberty 12 years running.
- Only Child™
- Eternal Child™
- Also scary as fuck
- (It’s a delicate balance.)
- Found out that his grandfather shagged the Nidaime and didn’t know whether to be jealous or horrified.
- Decided it was something to aspire to instead.
- Kushina was his jounin instructor. It was the best/worst decision Sarutobi ever made and he Regrets.
- Once planned out an elaborate mission in order to spy on the men’s baths, more for the challenge than anything, and entirely forgot that he could just walk in through the front door.
- Tried the same on the women’s baths only to be found by Kushina.
- Will never try that again. Ever.
- Makes a game out of terrifying as many enemies as he can before he kills them. Itachi loves him, but he is Suffering.
- Had a brief period where he was crushing ridiculously hard on Orochimaru and spent a week in the depths of the library, finding the weirdest, most obscure jutsus just to impress him.
- Does not talk about it.
- On an entirely unrelated note, Sasuke has so much blackmail on him he could probably take over Fire Country.
- The human incarnation of the Uchiha tendency to be Extra Stupid around pretty, powerful people.
- Generally known as That One Uchiha in other villages. Everyone has a story about meeting him. Most involve bloodshed and terror. A few involve flailing but are generally laughed at.
- Sets Itachi up on dates whenever the opportunity even vaguely presents itself.
- #1 reason Itachi does not want to leave the house. He used to be twitchy about enemies everywhere, now he’s paranoid that he’ll somehow end up on a blind date the minute he sets foot outside.
- Has been in ANBU since he was 14 and will probably stay in it until he dies.
- (Largely because he read the burnout statistics and his entire existence can be summed up as “Shisui no.” “Shisui YES”)
- Hokage candidate.
- When the other villages find out there’s a mass wave of panic.
- Sarutobi Laughs. Finally a chance to inflict Shisui on other people.
- It works beautifully.
- (Well. Not for the Hokage’s guards. But Tenzo has only tried to murder him twice this week, so that’s probably progress.)