this story will NEVER GET OLD

That’s also Patience. She stayed with Toriel until she found out aged boss monsters ,like Toriel, can’t grow old without having a child. So she went out of Ruins and searched for Asgore. And well, you know what happened next.

Justice’ determination overpowered Integrity’s just like how Frisk’s overpowered Flowey’s from the start of the game.

I’m surprised I’m getting fanarts when there’s no story about them, or even Frisk and Chara- But sure! They never fail to make me smile :’)

I miss the old sadness. I miss the cries of breaking a leg. I miss the feeling of not getting what you want, the feeling of fighting with a friend, with a sibling. I miss that sadness because this sadness, this grief, makes everything else feel small. I don’t know those feelings anymore because the feeling of the loss of someone you love…it’s unlike any sadness I’ve felt before. I don’t want this sadness, this sorrow. I miss the old sadness.
—  E.M.
In no way do I ascribe to the “boys will be boys” adage to explain my son’s behavior.

But I need science to explain to me my two-year-old’s fascination with Spider-Man.  

I can’t even remember the first time he saw Spider-Man.  Maybe it was his first night-time pull-ups. (XS size has him on them) But the first time he said his name (“SPIDAAHHH”) in his “deep” voice, he hasn’t stopped since. 

I asked around for toddler friendly things and a friend gave me a Playskool Spiderman story book. I found Little Golden Books online, and a fairly durable Playskool action figure.  I found Spider-Man underwear (”SPIDAH UNDIES!!!”).  We discovered Hulu has the old 90s cartoon, in which he mostly just gets excited when Spidey leaps around.  

I think I’ve read the same Little Golden Book story five times in the last 24 hours.  

Kids are weird, regardless of gender.  And I never expected my son at this age to fall in love with a superhero.  We’re still on the Wiggles/PBS kick, but it’s pretty funny to see a toddler go “psst psst” and try to shoot webs like Spider-Man. 

Quatre

This blog is exactly four months old today.
And coincidentally, this is also my hundredth post.

Four month ago, I decided to open my own fanfic blog after following fanfic writers on Tumblr for a long time. I posted my first story “In Love with a Wolverine”, thinking I’d get twenty readers MAX…

And now, 92 stories, over a 150 requests that I still have to write, 1592  followers, multiples nice messages and other comments later…Here I am, thanking you for your support. 

I’d never thought this blog would work at all, with my shit writing and silly fanfic ideas, so the fact that it did makes me beyond happy. Thanks. Again. 

art story

When I was six years old, the kindergarten staff was worried I was lagging developmentally. According to the psychologist who told my mother this, I couldn’t hold a crayon correctly. Showing her a drawing I’d done, he told her I’d never be able to draw “normally.”

Well, she never told me, just went on letting me do what I wanted. I’d always sort of doodled in notebooks, but I wasn’t inspired to get serious about it until I was nine and saw Uekawa’s Sonic Adventure art in a magazine.

From then on, I’d copied. Every single day I copied his poses, trying to match them, and tried to match Patrick Spaziante’s style as well. I wanted to be as good as they were. I tried to deconstruct how they drew their lines and shapes.

And I failed dozens, if not hundreds of times. I once drew Maria twenty-two times and crossed out the last attempt in a fit of rage.

The important thing was, I kept going. Maybe I wasn’t good now, and maybe I wasn’t as good as that other guy who everybody was praising left and right, but I could learn the fundamentals that maybe could help. Enjoying what I did didn’t magically erase envy and insecurity, but I think now I can be more confident knowing that if I can work up to a certain skill, I can do it again. 

Oh, and to that psychologist: I attended AP Studio in Art. Suck it. 

Sometimes the customer is wrong for unrelated reasons.

Due to the well of my friends’ “def not an axe murderer” date recommendations drying up, I have turned to that most sacred of modern relationship institutions: online dating. As a very busy person trying to get it in with other very busy people, I prize honestly and directness above all else when it comes to profile creation. I include full body shots in my photos, try to minimize the use of MySpace angles in selfies, and write at the very top of the summary/caption/profile that I am fat. Not “curvy,” not “thick,” not “lots to love”–I’m f*cking fat. I’m not ashamed of it, but I also known that weight is a dealbreaker for lots of people. I don’t want to waste anyone’s time.

About a year ago I met “Evan” via Tinder. We exchanged friendly messages for a few hours one night and agreed to meet up for drinks the following evening. I waited for a full hour past the designated time, and just as I was getting up to leave, the texts started rolling in.

“I can see you sweating from here.” “How long does it take you to roll out of bed every morning?” “Is there an earthquake or are you just getting up for more pretzels?”

Really idiotic, juvenile shit. Four separate numbers, commenting on things like my clothes, which clued me in that the senders were nearby. This went on for 15 minutes before I finally saw Evan, trying to hide in at a corner table and giggling with a group of buddies. I made eye contact, saw that he saw me, and then walked out. The texts kept up until I blocked the numbers a few hours later.

I ran into Evan about 3 weeks later. We got on the same elevator, and he tried really hard at being super interested in the emergency phone instructions. I just confronted him, and he admitted it was just some “game” that him and his friends play. He knew I was fat before agreeing to meet up; they all did, because that’s what they do. Match up with fat women, then either ghost them or “troll” them at the meet-up. It was also kinda obvious he’d never seen any consequences from this bullshit, as he was sweating pretty hard and looked more humiliated than I felt. I just said whatever and walked out, expecting to never see him again.

About a month ago, some local foodie wrote a great review of the restaurant I own, and we’ve been slammed ever since. In the past, I stayed mostly in the kitchen, but I’ve been doing more and more front-of-house stuff lately, and Valentine’s Day I was working a bit of a split between the two.

I saw Evan just as he was pushing in his date’s chair. My name isn’t on the restaurant, and he didn’t see me. I checked the section up at the hostess stand and saw that one of my favorite old-timers, Nan, was going to be his waitress. I went to the bar till, took out $400, put it in her hands, and said, “This is going to be your only table for the rest of the night. You are going to make this the worst date he has ever been on.”

She spilled every single thing she brought out to the table, all over him. I was waiting for him to blow up on Nan, but he bottled it up, obviously trying to make a good impression on his date. She seemed like a perfectly lovely lady; I told Nan to make sure everything was good for her and terrible for Evan.

She poured ice water on his d*ck. She smacked the back of his head with the edge of a tray. Spilled soup on his shirt. Dropped every fork he asked for. I personally oversalted his food, used the shit liquor for his drinks, used flour instead of sugar on his dessert. To be honest, I don’t know why he didn’t just walk out. He must have really wanted to f*ck this woman.

Finally, he cracked. Demanded Nan find the manager and bring her out. I was only too happy to emerge from the kitchen with my chef’s coat and say what, I’m not ashamed to admit, I’d been planning out all night.

“I would have said hi earlier, but I didn’t want the earthquake to disturb your dinner.”

I will savor the look on Evan’s face for the rest of my life.

He was a little too flummoxed to explain, so I pulled a chair up to the table and introduced myself to his date, Amanda. Told her how I met Evan. Showed her some fun old messages. Then I told gave her a voucher for a free meal on her next visit and told Evan to get the f*ck out and never come back.

He deleted his Tinder profile.

i feel like the most important piece of wisdom i can impart on teenagers is that no one–no one–knows what the fuck they’re doing

my brother is 26 years old, makes $200k a year, and just bought a house with his fiance. he’s the success story you hear about but never actually meet in person, but it all happened by accident. he wanted to go to college for clarinet performance, but he got rejected from all the top schools. so he decided to major in physics instead, and then went on to get a doctorate to put off being an adult for a few more years. but then he ended up dropping out halfway through the program and accepting a job with google as a software engineer. so to reiterate: my brother majored in something he was not interested in, and then he got a job that had nothing to do with his degree. 

he isn’t successful because he had some master plan he followed, he just stumbled around blindly until something worked out. and that’s what we’re all doing–i majored in political science and now i do customer service for a company that makes industrial-sized gas detection monitors. the marketing director at my company has a degree in biology, and my mom has an MBA and works at a middle school.  no one knows what they’re doing, we’re all just trying different things until something works out.

so if you don’t have a plan, that’s fine. most of us don’t. and even those of us who do, don’t usually end up doing the thing they thought they would. it’s okay to relax and let life carry you wherever it’s gonna carry you. because even though a lot of us don’t end up doing the thing we wanted, most of us end up happy anyway.

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 5

Great team work, amigos. Here’s is part 5! 

  1. “Why is there a naked Ken Barbie doll tied up in your room?” “Goddammit, ____! I told you not to go in there!”
  2. “No Candice, I am NOT selling you my soul again.”
  3. “why is the fairy holding a gun.”
  4. “Jesus Christ on a boat made of crackers, what are you doing outside of the pod ship again?”
  5. “WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO THAT” “He said I couldn’t… and I thought it was a challenge…”
  6. “How the fuck did you dye the ocean ORANGE?!”
  7. “Why are the roses green?”
  8. “Great, you made death angry.”
  9. ”この___だ!”
  10. “That better be a press on tattoo.”
  11. “If you only listened to the nature, you could learn more than humans ever passed to us.”
  12. “So, we’re dead?” “Well, kind of… yeah.”
  13. “Remind me again why you have a centaur tied up in your truck?”
  14. “Can you stop staring into my soul every time we meet? I feel exposed.”
  15. “You do realize that he wasn’t breathing when he spoke to us, right?”
  16. “I liked you better when you where possessed by that demon friend of yours”
  17. “You’re absolutely in love with him and have been for at least 2 years if you don’t go tell him how you feel I swear to god I will”
  18. “There are worse things in life than death.” “Nobody asked you,Lucifer.” “Just saying.”
  19. “Well, it’s wonderful that you’re having a sexuality crisis, but in case you forgot, we’re kind of in the middle of STOPPING THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT!”
  20. “Why is there a horse crashing on our couch?” “Oh, that’s Satan.”
  21. “Why would I hang out with you? You’re so incompetent! Your sacrifice to the faeries was so insufficient!”
  22. “Where the hell did the dragon go?! He was right here!”
  23. “Ok, the recipie calls for two cups of lemon and a cup of sugar, but all I see are cough syrup and battery acid…”
  24. “What do you mean today’s not a Tuesday?!”
  25. “So everyone on Earth had the same dream as me?”
  26. “you know what will solve that? Scotch.”
  27. “I didn’t ask for this!” “… you didn’t?”
  28. “How is it that the least likely outcome is always the outcome I receive?!” “You should go buy a lottery ticket.”
  29. “Guys, i know you’re all busy, but if any of you wants the dinner done, i will need my arm back”
  30. “Of COURSE I care about you. That’s why I sold your soul on the black market.”
  31. “JOHN I AM BEGINNING TO QUESTION THE VALIDITY OF YOUR PLAN” “AS AM I ALEX, AS AM I”
  32. “What?”
  33. “I will take the concept of my rage, transform it into a physical weapon, and use it to BEAT YOU TO DEATH!”
  34. “Did you really HAD to slap the shark?!” “I mean… If you want me to kick it-”
  35. “I don’t care, your tamagotchi dying is not an excuse to wake me up before noon!”
  36. “You are telling me that the socks with hearts that I’ve been mocking since the first day you arrived are, in fact, what keep you alive?” “Yes!” “What?”
  37. “So you really want me to believe that you’re actually from the future?”
  38. “Dude. What have you done. Now we HAVE TO save those aliens!”
  39. “Can you just stop?” “God no, why would I do that?”
  40. “Hey at least I get laid doing it”
  41. “While that’s a lovely story, it doesn’t quite explain the fires.”
  42. “Dude, please tell me that you planned to deal with her guardian angel when you killed her.”
  43. “That’s such a stupid idea… let’s do it.”
  44. “What do you MEAN this just HAPPENS?!” “All the time, actually.”
  45. “I swear, one day you’ll kill us both.” “Oh please, I’ve never been that reckless.” “…” “That was ONE TIME!”
  46. “Why did you buy a nuke?!” “Why wouldn’t I? It was on sale”
  47. “I am fueled purely by rage and instant coffee.”
  48. “How are you a million years old, bit you can’t even remember who George Washington is?”
  49. “Because I gave not, a single shit.”
  50. “Is that a marijuana? In my good  Christian suburbs?!”
  51. “WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT KILLING PEOPLE?? YOU NEVER USE THE DRAGON, YOU IDIOT”
  52. “I don’t care if he’s a unicorn, NO ONE EATS MY MINI EGGS!”
  53. “Jesus Christ Lewis! *Again* with the Snails?” “It’s Thursday! You said Thursday’s were okay!”
  54. “Here’s a story for you. I woke up in Vegas as a makeup guru. I was REALLY drunk.”
  55. “If all your friends jumped off a cliff would you…WAIT, NO IT WAS A JOKE, STOP!”
  56. “You’re kinda like hitchhiking Ghost Busters, aren’t you?”
  57. “For gods sake, ditch the fanny pack”
  58. “Take the tomato!” “No, I don’t want the tomato” “JUST TAKE THE TOMATO”
  59. “‘That’s no moon!’ Everyone  remembered Jimmy’s words that night as he scolded his friends for half-heartedly pulling their pants down.”
  60. “WHY IS THERE A BEAR IN MY BATHROOM”
  61. “Can you believe it?” “Just barely.”  "Man, I never thought he would ACTUALLY throw the chair.“
  62. "What did you THINK girl scout cookies were made of?”
  63. “Really? That’s not what I heard from Mrs. Sanchez across the hall!”   “Mom she’s literally a possessed cow, why do you listen to her?”
  64. “You got the rubber chicken, cheese whiz, and dish soap?” “Yep” “Ok, let’s do this!”
  65. “Are you building a life-sized Godzilla at 3am again?”
  66. “Don’t get pissy at me, YOU’RE the one who didn’t say what kind of tea bags to get for the clown!”
  67. "So YOU’RE the guy the math textbooks warned us about.”
  68. “Where’s our cat?” “I thought you were responsible for it?..”
  69. “What do you mean I’m half demon”
  70. “why are you duct taping a cat to the ceiling?” “aesthetic.”
  71. “Hope is a lie. So is philosophy, morality, language in general, the sky, dogs, and about a third of the population of Michigan.”
  72. “So let me get this straight. You filled a Darth Vader costume… With cats?”
  73. “How did I die this time?” “Well, it was pretty quick. I missed it, but from what I can tell, you convinced an entire school of 4000 people to throw watermelons at you all at the same time.” “…And?” “The impact of the watermelons threw you back a couple hundred kilometers and you landed in the ocean…inside the mouth of a particularly hungry shark.” “Goddamn it I wanted this death to be metal!”
  74. “Yesterday I learned that my childhood friend was a demon.”
  75. “Please tell me you said 'What bothers me most.’ "Yes? What the hell did you think I said?” Well….it kinda sounded like “His father’s meatloaf.’
  76. "Goddammit, why won’t you die?!”  "I DON’T FUCKING KNOW! “
  77. "I’d appreciate it if you fucking stopped, thanks.”
  78. “What the hell is this?” “It’s jello, you eat it”
  79. "You didn’t” “I did and I made them watch”
  80. "Why in the hell did you think this was a good idea?” “Look, YOU try saying 'No’ to not just a primordial deity, but my little sister as well.” “…Ok, you got me there.”
  81. “How do you know that it’s supposed to look like this?”
  82. “Are you making *tea*?!” “Well what else am I supposed to do?” “I don’t know maybe STOP THE MONSTER THATS RIGHT IN FRONT OF US!!”
  83. “Why are you in a dress?” “Lucifer wanted to have a tea party. You don’t say no to Lucifer”
  84. “So you’re telling me that aliens invaded while I was on vacation?”
  85. “I appreciate the gesture but I prefer my horses fried rather than alive.”
  86. *whining* “But Mooommm, I don’t want to save the woooorrld!”
  87. “Now I know not to cry there”
  88. “What if we DIDNT kill the king every Thursday” “Good idea we’ll kill him on Fridays instead.”
  89. “So you’re a zombie now?” “I guess I am” “So what are you gonna do about it?” “*shrug* I don’t know….”
  90. “I guess you weren’t joking when you said that the world is ruled by ants”
  91. “When I die, tell everyone 'I told you so.’”
  92. “You’re not real… You’re only in those silly books!” “Correction, my dear, you’re the fictional one.”
  93. “There was no 'free pie’ you moron! You stole it!”
  94. “Okay, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that my pet rock has gained sentience, just like we planned! The bad news is that it turns out he’s evil and is currently building a rock army with the intent of taking over the world. aaaand, he’s trying to get Mt. Everest on his side.”
  95. “Why is our baby on a wanted poster?”
  96. “Zombies are people too, Mom!”
  97. “… I’m gonna go for it. Hold my head for me real quick, and don’t put it on a mannequin like you did last time.”
  98. “Fascinating… I was unaware that was physically plausible.” “I know right.”
  99. “ACHOO!” “Bless you.” “No sorry, that won’t work on me.”
  100. “Bye, Felicia. Take you and your cat ears! GO!”

Prepare yourselves, because starting from tomorrow we will be making ‘100 Prompts That Will Make You Cry’ lists. Hope you enjoy this one. Which prompt do you like the most?

Cliche For A Reason

No matter how many times they’re done, there are a few tropes I’ll read 100 times with the same ship, by 100 different authors.

Here are just a few of those tropes:

1. Fake Dating AU.

Whether it’s a short exchange with a stranger because there’s a creep who won’t stop hitting on them, or a fully planned out, year-long con to fool their family, I can never get enough of these.

2. Trapped in A Small Space Together

Freezing to death in an engine room. Hiding together in a closet to avoid being killed. Locked in a room, running out of air.

No matter the context, this one always makes my day, especially if one of the people trapped isn’t usually big on physical contact.

3. Taking Care of Children Together

Innocent little kids have a way of bringing out the soft side of even the fiercest characters.

4. Unnaturally Truthful

Truth serums, an excess of pain meds, and outside threats are just a few of the ways my beloved ships can be forced to admit things they never would under normal circumstances.

5. Amnesia/Forgetting The Other

Sometimes they hit their head. Sometimes they were brainwashed. Sometimes they died and came back to life.

Whatever the reason, one doesn’t know the other, and the other has to faithfully stick by them, and try to help them remember. (Or start from scratch, befriending them and falling in love all over again.)

6. Grumpy, Distant Characters Turning Into Human Puppies Around That Special Someone

This requires no explanation, I believe.

7. Everyone Knows One Loves The Other

Except, of course, the other.

8. First Kiss Forgotten

Maybe someone was under mind control when it happened, or maybe they just had a bit too much to drink, but Person A remembers Person B kissing them, and Person B has no idea it happened. (Or DO THEY?)

in honour of march being #trypod month, here’s everything you need to know about podcasts! (part two here)

what the heck even are podcasts?

podcasts are audio shows that are either in episode or radio format, which you can download and listen to whenever you like, for free!! there are both fiction and non fictional podcasts, so there is something for everyone

why should i listen to these?

podcasts are similar to audiobooks and radio shows in that you can listen to them anywhere, on your phone or computer, and are ideal for commutes and journeys (i personally listen to most of mine on the bus to and from school). most podcasts are made by people as a hobby rather than their job, so you can support them by listening as well 

where can i find podcasts?

pretty much every podcast ever is available on itunes and spotify, and many apps for non apple devices

cool, can you give me some recommendations?

fiction

welcome to night vale [weird and spooky fantasy] is about a small town in america, where a lot of weird crap goes on, but here in night vale this is generally completely normal. this is pretty much how everyone gets into podcasts, and is a really good starting point for listening to fiction podcasts

the bright sessions [sci-fi] is about some folks with superpower in therapy trying to learn about themselves, their powers and how to control them. honest to god this is my most favourite fiction podcast ever, i love it with all of my heart and cannot recommend this enough. 

the orbiting human circus of the air [fantasy?] is about an old-timey radio show that broadcasts from the top of the eiffel tower. this is honestly such a joy to listen to, and has some wonderful stories with really interesting ways of telling them

wolf 359 [sci-fi and comedy] is about a small crew in a space station, orbiting the red dwarf star, wolf 359. it starts off pretty light hearted and gets pretty wild pretty quickly, so buckle in for a bumpy ride. (they did a live show and recorded it and put it on youtube and it is honestly such a gift seeing zach jump back and forth arguing with himself.)

the penumbra podcast [noir/fantasy/western/horror] is really queer. its great. the main stories follow a non-binary pi named juno steel, but there are other stories on the feed too that are well worth a listen (and season 2 premiers really soon!)

eos 10 [sci-fi and comedy] is about some doctors in space. its hilarious (the main plot arc starts with a boner that just will not go away) and the characters are super interesting. its been on break for a really long time, but is on its way back soon, so keep your eyes peeled!

the strange case of starship iris [sci-fi adventure] is new and really cleverly done. im still blown away by how cool the end credits are, everytime i hear them. its also about gays in space which is cool also ;)

the adventure zone [comedy and adventure] is barely a fiction podcast as it is 3 brothers and their dad playing d&d. if you have never played d&d, or think its boring, then dont let that deter you, because this podcast is the funniest one i have listened to. it starts a little slowly, so be prepared for that, but it really picks up a few episodes in, and griffin’s story telling gets SO good, i really recommend this one as well

dead serious [supernatural] is about two teens who discover that the local haunted house is actually Haunted and talk to the ghosts living there about their lives and deaths (this is mine ;))

non-fiction

spirits is 2 women chatting about really cool myths and legends, both old and new, from all of the world, whilst quite tipsy. this was the first podcast i listened to and i fell in love. i personally recommend the “japanese urban legend” episode its super creepy and super cool

dead pilots society is a table reading of tv pilots that are bought by companies but never made. they so far have all been comedies and include well known writers and actors, and are great for long journeys, as well as one time listening if you don’t want to get too emotionally involved in anything

my brother my brother and me  is a really bad advice show and really good comedy podcast run by 3 brothers (the same ones in the adventure zone minus their dad) who answer questions and give terrible advice that is hilarious to listen to. they also made a tv show on seeso recently, which you can also check out the first episode on yt!

international waters is a quiz show between british and american comedians which is interesting and hilarious, with different contestants each week to keep it fresh and interesting

i have a ton more i could talk about, but these are some of my highlights. if you want any recommendations, feel free to message me or drop me an ask!

THE PRETTY LITTLE LIARS ENDGAME

It is bittersweet that I present to you my last ever theory for Pretty Little Liars. I apologise in advance for the insane length, but this is covering all those frustrating loose ends across the entire series. I hope you can make it to the end so we can discuss. My only fear for this theory is that it is too daring and gutsy; it would re-define the show we thought we knew. Are the writers willing to ‘go there’ in just 10 episodes? I don’t know! Regardless if this is all right, partially right, or so damn wrong, I hope you have as much fun reading this as I did putting this together the past two months! For the last time before the show ends… I hope you enjoy!

Keep reading

I can’t count the times I’ve screamed into my pillow out of anger and sadness. I’ve let rage, hatred, loneliness, and pain consume for so long and silently dealt with it. There have been way too many times where I have locked myself in the bathroom as the world around me fell apart, crying silently sitting in the edge of the tub, constantly repeating to myself that it would be okay, when in reality I was never okay. Each and every time, I’ve only had myself. Each and every time I’d wash my face off and come out as if nothing happened, a fake smile on my face because I was not going to show the world it had gotten the best of me. I’m too old to feel this way. To still feel this way. I can’t count the number of times I’ve been at work and had to excuse myself in order to lock myself in a stall and breathe. Once again the the pain, traveling through my veins making my palms turn into fists. I only have myself. And I would repeat to myself the same thing, everything will be okay…I’m too old to feel this way..I shouldn’t feel this way. But it’s not okay, and the pain is there I can’t deny it, I can’t ignore it and I can’t seem to get rid of it..and as always, I’ve only got myself.

anonymous asked:

I'm sorry to bother you, but do things really get better? I'm 16 right now and everything I know is sadness and exhaustion and anger and then I talk to my parents and they just complain about adult life... is it worth it to go on?

oh gosh, i promise, it’s worth waiting, buddy. i know there are a lot of people who say, oh it gets better. and it does in some ways, but what it really gets is different. the people who are angry and mean and horrible often stay that way. the people who cut you off or who flip you off or who piss you off often are the same people at 16 as at 26. 

i think i hated people telling me “it gets better” because what could get better about being a mentally ill queer cuban girl in a world that wanted to eat me. i got spat out. my writing isn’t published because i’ve been rejected so many times i don’t even notice anymore. i was told a few times “make it less obviously homosexual”. what is going to get better about that, i said to myself. the memory of it will never be a nice one.

things got different slowly. like i didn’t realize until i was far on the other side of it. i wasn’t kidding in that last post when i said today i read my writing at 15 and it was painfully obvious how depressed i was. i didn’t have a diagnosis. like you, all i knew was that i was exhausted and angry and sad all the time and when i talked about it, i was told “everyone feels that way sometimes.” i felt that way all the time. in this story, i don’t suddenly wake up after turning 18 and have a magical life where it is all bunnies and flowers and loving. it took me 3 years of trying before i finally managed to quit self-harm completely. my eating disorder and i are still not on speaking terms, luckily. i’m slowly getting a handle on my ocd. i didn’t realize that the biggest thing that was changing was me.

yeah. being out of the house made it easier. away from where people knew me as a certain person. being someone new or being who i was or being in a room full of people who didn’t care how gay i was. being in control made it better. finding real and true friends made it better. being able to make my own plans and choose my own story and do more than just wait until i was old enough to be taken seriously - it got better.

but honestly it’s me. i learned how to shake hands with depression, he and i are such good old buddies i sometimes see him before he’s even coming. and i’ve gotten so good at getting out of his embrace, because practice makes perfect, same as anything. and i’ve learned things about myself i had no idea about at 16. i didn’t even realize i’m funny. i had never been skinny dipping. my only kiss had been sort of an accident. there was a lot i cared about then that i don’t care about now, because in my new world outside of that, the people i surround myself with don’t care either. i’ve worn a dinosaur onesie pajama set to eight parties now when 19 year old me wouldn’t be seen without her makeup. i wear glasses in public even though i’m nervous they make me look like a bug. i have tattoos and new piercings and a bank account (and no money) and i have love. and i don’t mean with a partner, although i’m blessed enough to say i have that as well - i mean. i just found it. i taught myself how to look for it. i figured - listen, i’m here still, so i might as well, like, try to enjoy it. and it wasn’t overnight. it still goes away sometimes. but i love so much and so easily now. i laugh more because of it. i let myself love dogs and movies and silly things. and this love sort of … makes things better. because it reflects off of everything into you. like a mirror.

at sixteen… at sixteen i was very suicidal. i didn’t know that it applied to me, because i thought i was just annoying and lazy. looking back now i always pull a face at how obvious it was, and how close i got to walking myself into a grave. it was more than a close call. death, like, waved. i actually believed i wouldn’t make it past 18. what was the point? what was the point of anything? i think if i’d told myself then, “it gets better”, i would have laughed. “maybe for you!” i would have said, “you have money and a life and you’re not like this.” but it did get better. in inches. stick around to see it. stick around to see everything wonderful that’s waiting in the wings for you. that knows your name. a fate of beautiful moments that are small and precious, like butterflies landing on fingers or snowflakes on tongues, or just sitting with a good book during the rainfall. hell, stick around to write the book, because (trust me), if you believe in your art and yourself - it can be done.

stick around most of all because what gets better is you fall in love with yourself. the world doesn’t become suddenly sickeningly sweet, even if the people around you become better and you’re given more opportunity. that’s wonderful too but… what happens is that over time, the stuff they told you stops sticking. you realize that just because your nose is crooked it doesn’t even matter because it doesn’t stop you from being the best dang ping pong player in your family. you realize you have a family, even if they’re not blood. you realize you are your own family. and you learn to take care of yourself and yes, it gets ugly at times, but you manage. and inside of managing there’s all these wonderful successes like mac and cheese and getting the bills done and the smell of clean laundry and friends that make you laugh so hard you almost pee and an apartment with plants in every corner and a hairless cat in sweaters or a dog with a bowtie or both and watching movies and reading books and seeing art, all of which haven’t been created yet, and possibly you’re the one who makes them. and managing … managing doesn’t have to be big. sometimes it’s just making a small difference. and sometimes the person you make a difference to is yourself. and that’s amazing.

stick around because, trust me, somewhere in there, you meet your younger self in your dreams and you tell her - oh gosh, i promise, it’s worth waiting, buddy.

WHAT I WANT IN TOG7

- Aedion and Dorian bromance. I want that Aedion apologize to Dorian for being a jerk and I want them sitting by the fire and talking about good old days. And Dorian being like “Damn Aedion, you mocked me for eating like a lady while you looked like an actual girl with that pretty hair of yours. Half of the boys were in love with you.” Aedion would just grin

-Thirteen scaring the shit out of Chaol. He’s left his prejudices down in the Southern continent but he’s still low-key terrified of witches and Asterin likes to hide in dark hallways and when Chaol walks by she just says hello from the dark and Chaol collapses every time

- Nesryn asking Lysandra if she can borrow one of her dresses because she wants to be pretty for Chaol. When she put a dress on she’s anxious and she doesn’t feel herself at all but she’d do it for him. When Chaol sees her he tells her that she’s beautiful but that he likes her better when she’s herself, in her leather fighting gear. She never wear a dress again

- Lorcan teaching Elide how to write and read Feysand style but instead of Rhysand is the most handsome High Lord, he writes Elide is the most beautiful girl Elide is the smartest girl, Elide is the bravest girl… After a month, super nervous Lorcan gives her a paper to read and she wants to snap at him because she’s tired of reading how perfect she is but instead she’s a sobbing mess because it says Elide, will you be my wife?

- Aedion calling Gavriel “dad" for the first time, Aedion telling Gavriel he loves him for the first time. Gavriel’d play it cool but later close himself in a room and cry all night because he’s not worthy

- Gavriel and Aedion bonding time. I want that AEDION IS OBSESSED WITH GAVRIEL. Not the other way. Them going on a trips together, going on the Southern continent, to Wendlyn.. one day Aedion asks Gavriel if he’d tell him how he and his mom met. Gavriel tells him everything and all of their adventures and how she was like, what’d she liked. They’d both cry at the end.

-Manon seeing Aelin’s soap collection for the first time and being like “Aelin you’re disgusting you don’t need all that”. She’d secretly steal one and Dorian would later ask her why she smells like Aelin

- it’s Manon’s birthday tomorrow and Dorian and Abraxos fly all night to get to that place that sells the only cake Manon likes. In the morning when they get back Manon is furious and she wants to cut Dorian’s neck open because no one rides her wyvern but then Dorian shows her the cake. Something obviously got stuck into her eye that’s why she’s crying

- Vaughan and Connall being boyfriends

- Fenrys saying that he’s the fastest wolf alive. Lysandra would chuckle in a background and Fenrys would be like “Lys, you and me, outside, now”. Everyone put their bets on Lysandra, Fenrys is offended, Lysandra wins

- Evangeline being obsessed with Rowan. She wants a story a day. Her favourites are about Fenrys falling off the ship while trying to impress ladies or about Lorcan climbing a tree to get a cat down because this old man couldn’t do it himself

- Aelin is walking in a park in Terrasen and this old lady comes to her and tells her that they always knew she’s alive and that she’ll come back and that whatever she’d done, it doesn’t matter, that her people are proud of her and that they’ll never forget Evalin and Rhoe. In that moment Aelin realizes that it’s all indeed been worth it

‘Shiro ships are power imbalanced!’

You mean…

Shallura - In which Allura who smashed down a metal door with brute strength alone, and literally threw the man like a piece of meat? Both are young and forced into situations where they had to grow up before their time which is something they can sympathize and relate to with. Not to mention there’s a lot of things both us and Allura herself have yet to discover about her.
Fly Shiro, fly!

Shunk - They’re EQUALLY intelligent and Hunk is confirmed PHYSICALLY STRONGER and if he was more battle smart/fit, could actually wreck Shiro. Hunk would probably be the castle’s reigning arm wrestling champion! People seem to also forget Hunk isn’t a pushover, if something doesn’t seem right to him, he’s going to call shit out on it and would make sure something is done about it.

Shidge - Definitely has a power imbalance, look at this take-no-shit tiny nerd own Shiro on sheer intelligence alone. Pidge made a freaking functional satellite on her own out of random metal scraps just floating in space, and has killed a man Galra. No one is safe, not even Shiro.
I think it’s also good to point out that pretty much the majority of Shidge shipper DO NOT ship them at 14 and 25, so don’t give me any of that age shit. If you argue about why people make Pidge so small, fun fact: small people exist!

Sheith - Keith is a one man army, even when he got his arse handed to him by fucking spies with god only knows how much more battle experience under their belts, he’d keep going and fought on sheer tenacity alone and eventually figured his way out. Keith ain’t no delicate flower who’d bend over backwards just because he loves Shiro, the man has proven he’s willing to make sacrifices for the greater good, even if it’s going to hurt.

Shance - Granted it’s a bit hard to find evidence for (we’re only 2 seasons in, there’ll hopefully be more material for it in the future) but Lance has already proven to be very good at improvising and think quick in stressful situations, not to mention he ain’t their sharpshooter for nothing. Plus Lance is known for being a very social creature; he’d be insanely switched on when it comes to relationships, platonic, familial, romantic, or otherwise, and he clearly knows about self care especially from an emotional standpoint.

Can we please stop dismissing these characters quality traits just to shit on ships and treating them as if they were infants? And can we please stop slandering Shiro, the man has never done any abusive thing towards any of his teammates and would never do it willingly *coughcoughKurocoughcough*, and there’s more statements confirming he’s a teen than the supposed 25 so don’t even start. As I said, we’re only 2/8 seasons into the story, which means everyone on team Voltron is going to get development and grow in both their skills and as people; 6 more seasons of watching this group become terrifying forces of nature.

And if anything, if you want to protect anyone it should be this poor 4/5 year old. Baby’s been though enough already.

updates.

if there’s no date specified, it means i’m not close to finishing the story yet, so i don’t know when i’ll be posting it.
do not post/repost/translate my stories on other sites, especially not without my permission.

✍ working on:  

business 3 [07/01]
You run into some old friends at a conference.
class president [07/08]
Class president candidate Jimin would do anything to get your vote.
jasmine [07/15]
Jungkook always tries to hide his crush on you, but unfortunately, he can’t control what happens while he’s sleeping.
a favor 2
Namjoon’s friends try to help him get over his crush.
show me
Taehyung has been your friend for as long as you could remember, which is why you don’t feel uncomfortable with asking him to teach you some things. [friends to lovers]
partners
As a part of a literature assignment, you get paired up with Kim Namjoon, a guy you’ve never even heard of.
forbidden 4
Your secret is out.
zaddy 13 [final]
Taehyung gets offered his dream job abroad.
nude 4
Taehyung wants to know why you’re avoiding him.
enemy 2
You run into Taehyung again, and Hoseok doesn’t seem too happy about that.
the stranger
 When your plane is hit by turbulence, you start panicking and tell some of your biggest secrets to the attractive stranger sitting next to you.
monster; good boy; crossroads; sin city 

latest updates:

that one moment you just know a movie has such an impact on you. just the music, the actors, the scenery, story, everything. when you feel chills and know that this movie means something to you. to feel so blessed that you are able to witness it for the first time, and then feel the same way every time you see it. it never gets old, it never goes out of style, it’ll always be the masterpiece you know it is. its one of the best feelings ever.

anonymous asked:

Can you make a list of your bug head fic recs please?

Yes! There are so many amazing Bughead fics out there, you are in for a treat! 

Wicked Games by aliquitecontrary (ItsAryanna)- Betty is a famous supermodel with a creepy stalker, so she gets Jughead Jones a hot bodyguard assigned to her. I am obsessed! Anything written by @camelotskingz is amazing! I am obsessed with her stories.

To B.C. I Still Love You by aliquitecontrary (ItsAryanna)- Get out the tissues, this story is beautiful and heartbreaking. Jughead is a best selling author, his novel is about his relationship and break up with Betty Cooper. The angst is so real!

The Girl With The Journal by juggieiheadcoopers- The best Soulmate AU that I have ever read! Jughead writes journal entires everyday since he was sixteen years old about a blonde haired girl that he never met before. Betty finds his journal when he leaves it behind in a coffee shop and reads it. It is sooooo good!

The Serpent and Swan by jugandbettsdetectiveagency- The fandom was blessed with the beautiful pictures of Lili in a pink dress which inspired many new Royal AU’s. I am a sucker for Royal Bughead. This is one of the many awesome Royal fics.

Tacos and Tequila by jugandbettsdetevtiveagency- I love this story so much! It just finished :(, but it is an absolute masterpiece! Betty and Archie have plans for her to visit him at college for the weekend, but when she gets to his place in a snow storm she is greeted by Archie’s roommate Jughead. She finds out that Archie forgot about their plans and is away for the weekend. Bughead trapped together in a snow storm, it’s as amazing as it sounds!

Coop de Grace by justcorbeau- If you love a slow burn this is the perfect story for you! AU set in New York. I am only halfway through, but I am hooked.

Needing/Getting by slantedsunsight- This story is Ski trip Bughead. It is adorable, but hasn’t been updated in a bit. I recommend still reading the first two chapters.

Do You Believe in Fate? by jennimisk- Study Abroad in Italy AU. Such a beautiful story. I look forward to updates every week!

The Winged Beast by onceuponamirror- For those who love Serpent Jughead, this is the story for you. My girl Sabrina is featured as well. One of the first Bughead fics that I fell in love with.

Make It Work by Raptorlily- You can never go wrong with a classic fake dating slow burn to lovers. I am loving this story where Betty and Jughead pretend to be dating for Veronica and Archie’s wedding. Ongoing and I can’t wait to see how it plays out!

And Other Collisions by Raptorlily-  This story is an AU about what if Jughead had been at Cheryl’s party in 1x01. I adore this story. It has not been updated in a while, but fingers crossed that it is updated soon!

I Need My Girl by LILAYYYY-  This story is so unique! Jughead and Betty are roommates who both are in love with each other, but will not admit it to each other. This story features lots of angst and a bisexual Betty. Definitely one of my favorites!

I’ll Wait For You by AGirlNamedWhiskey- This is an AU where Betty is an army kid who moves around. She moves to Riverdale where she gets involved with Riverdale’s car racing scene. Jughead Jones is one of the best drivers in town. Ugh there are no words for how much I love this story!

Crowns by annoe- Another Royal Bughead AU. The story just began and I am along for the ride. 

The Reunion by dreamersshouldknowbetter- Bughead High School Reunion. Very sweet story, I adored it!

The Stacks by Malmo722- An amazing Bughead AU. I can’t explain how much I adore this story!

Blogs to follow for amazing stories-

Anything by @bughead4days​, Anything on her master list is incredible. She has a multi chapter story right now called Snake Skin it is absolutely amazing!

Anything by @betsforsythetrash! Her master list is amazing as well. Self Conclusion is one of my favorite Bughead fan fics of all time. King Crown’s Bar is a smutty story that is in progress right now that I can’t get enough of.

 @bughead-fic-request- I read everything they write as well! Girls on Film is marvelous!

More awesome blogs that post amazing stories-

@jugandbettsdetectiveagency @lusterrdust @wheninriverdale @wordsonpages1 @peacelovebughead @gellbellshead @juggieheadcoopers @bugheadandjughead @itstenafterfour

I all ready know that I am missing a few stories and blogs, so I am so sorry if I forgot you! There are soooo many well written Bughead stories the Bughead fandom is definitely blessed with talented writers. This makes the summer hiatus a lot less painful for sure!

I hope this answers your question xx

in the future, trading cards get made of the best exy players. neil buys every pack he sees until he collects all his friends. (collecting kevin’s feels like a completion to the binder he’s long since buried) (he mails matt his card with every letter he sends, because it makes him blush). he gives riko’s trading card to andrew to burn because that never gets old. he smiles every time he sees ‘andrew minyard’ on a card, but andrew likes to burn those too.

seeing the words ‘neil josten’ on a trading card, his history reduced to his achievements in exy, feels like the end of a story he never thought he’d get to tell. he keeps one above his desk in the apartment he shares with andrew and it’s another way to feel grounded. he exists. he’s real. this is real. and it’s good.