Episode 99, part 2: no bottles of beer on the wall :(
While Yami battles a very tall sea-monkey
not named Shallowlake Fashionmodel, let’s see where everyone else ended up…
Shizuka is watching some “beautiful” swans and marvelling at how cold and real the water feels.
Jounouchi is shouting at an ornate light-fixture.
That’s… that’s not how that — oh whatever.
“I give this unoriginal kidnapping a meagre 2/10″
so everyone’s enjoying beautiful virtual scenery and trying to figure out – oh wait, where’s Anzu?
holy shit Anzu’s actually gonna die wtf why did she get mobbed by huge ogres the worst anyone else got is swans and I know they say a swan can break a man’s arm but my da confidently asserts that that’s a load of bullshit, it just means the force of the downthrust of a swan’s wing could theoretically break a bone, and he could totally fight a swan and win
I’ve become very sidetracked.
Let’s get back to the duel!
oh fuck offffffffff nerd
Nevermind, the duel is boring. Back to the Kaiba bros!
Kaiba is stewing over the elaborate high-tech trap they’ve been caught in and the fact that the mastermind appears to be no more than a highly intelligent young teenage boy unendowed with any particular powers aside from a sharp intellect.
Mokuba is, I have to presume, stewing over the fact that his older brother is a MASSIVE FUCKING HYPOCRITE OF THE HIGHEST ORDER
Sensing Mokuba’s distress, and ascribing it to the low-rate kidnapping and not the troubling mental gymnastics of his only remaining family member, Seto comforts him with what he considers to be his most comforting (certainly his most reliable) trait: technical knowledge
(LOOK AT HIM MAKING A SMILE-FACE TO MAKE HIS BROTHER FEEL BETTER, YOU’RE DOING GREAT BABE ILU)
Seto assures Mokuba that this program will have an emergency exit, probably “disguised” as an actual door or window, and they set off to find it.
Meanwhile, Otogi and Honda are also looking for an exit…
oh honey, you have SERIOUSLY misunderstood what “virtual” means.
Otogi, misunderstanding VR, obviously thinks the “virtual world” is just a fake overlay on the real corridors of the big submarine thing they’re on and says there won’t be a visible exit.
Honda, misunderstanding Otogi, just fuckin–
AXES A WALL
like bro if this is all virtual, that doesn’t have any more hope of working than anything else, and if Otogi’s correct and this is a fake “skin” over a real wall of a real submarine then you’re goING TO KILL US ALL HOLY SHIT
Leaving them not thinking things through enough,
Yami’s (allegedly) having the opposite problem. Given that so far in this duel, all he’s done is accidentally choose the wrong Deck Master and excitedly attack to find out what a trap was, I have my doubts.
Anyway he decides the solution to his non-problem is to EXCITEDLY ATTACK
Meanwhile THIS asshole
I think he thinks he’s quoting Machiavelli? But I am not 100% sure on that. There may be some Three-Language-Telephone going on with these translations: Italian to Japanese to English. And I don’t have the time or the botherment to start googling Italian Renaissance thinkers
any more than I already have…
He tempts Yami down “the path of getting bitten by his own monster”
and then tempts him down “the path of being excessively self-sacrificing and putting his health and safety below that of his friends”
“Once again, I would like the record to state that I don’t care about Honda or Otogi”
I am interested that they picked up on this: that Yami obviously recognises that he himself has a high tolerance for pain and injury (at least if incurred during a duel) and that he will throw almost anything else aside to try to shield his friends from pain and injury.
Speaking of pain, the Kaiba bros are opening any doors they come across
but rather than an exit to their freedom and the future, the door leads to the most claustrophobic episode of their past…
I can’t imagine how upset they both must feel being faced with this, a chapter of their past neither of them look back on often suddenly sprung from behind an innocuous door by a total stranger, their reaction is going to be–
oh, um, mildly affronted disgruntlement, apparently.