I have actually two questions if you don't mind. First is just simple how are you doing, another is about how you got into making music
I’m doing alright, thanks, a bit stressed lately because of my new job and life in general, but i’m doing my best to remain positive.
Well, it’s a funny story really.
Come sit around the campfire, it’s gonna be a big one.
When i was 13, i discovered Touhou through McRoll’d on YouTube, after that, i met a Brazilian that wanted to make a Touhou fangame.
So he just came up to me and said “you’re a composer right? Wanna compose for my fangame?”
So here’s the funny part: I WASN’T A COMPOSER.
I was just a 14 year old who has never composed a single song.
So naturally, i said “yeah sure!”, and imminently regretted it because i couldn’t compose yet.
So, i tried it anyways, and it was quite fun, but the songs were absolutely terrible of course.
So he was like “Wait, are you even a composer?”
And i was like “Nope lmao”
We continued the fangame anyways, but it got cancelled quickly after motivation was lost (how about: having an actual programmer next time lol)
After that, i started getting more and more into fanmade Touhou style/inspired music, keep in mind that it was like 2010 or something, so there weren’t as much Touhou style/inspired composers as today, but i was particularly inspired by people like Wanwan (Mystical Power Plant and others), Misora (Mrs. Estacion), and Crystalwings (Marine Benefit).
And i was SUPER jealous of them.
“How can they make something so beautiful and pure with music, how can they touch my emotions so much? It’s like it’s actually Touhou music!”
Outside of Japan, composers like this weren’t heard of at that time, but that all changed when i met a certain person.
I randomly got a YouTube PM from someone, noticing my little terrible attempts at “music”, this person is better known as Mana Kazami.
They have been so nice to me, and they have thought me how to improve my music significantly, they were like a mentor to me.
Eventually, they told me about all the little tricks and experience they had with how to make music that sounds like ZUN music, and one of the “secret ingredients” that is super easy to come by these days, was the Edirol SD-90, a MIDI sound module from Japan.
Little 15 year old me begged to the parents, and eventually, i convinced them to agree to import that thing all the way to the Netherlands.
This was a big deal, because it was like 400 euro, that is a FUCKLOAD for a 15 year old, my parents considered this a “weird and pointless investment”, but to me, this was a true magic device.
When i got my SD-90, it took a lot of time to get used to it, my brain isn’t technical at all, i do things on a whim, following my emotions, so hooking it up and getting to work was a real chore, but i eventually got it right, and i started using it a lot, like A LOT.
I wanted to be like the people i was so jealous of, i wanted to touch people’s heart with the beauty of music, i really did my best.
Okay, switch to 16!
Finally, it is time to go to ART SCHOOL
Of course, did you think i wanted to be a composer? Nah, i wanted to become a game designer!
When i was in art school however, i started liking music more and more, and started noticing everyone was better than me at art, eventually, art school kicked me out, and i felt emotionally lost.
I didn’t know what to do with my life anymore, i am very goal-oriented person, and i felt like one of my big goals had just been crushed.
But then, i decided to change my goals, i wanted to do something were my heart felt comfortable: music!
Music became more and more important to me, and it was like an escape, every time i made something new and better, i felt like i made progress.
Back then, this was about the best i could do: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hfo5-nEBVNo
Looking back to it now, it is quite shit, there’s a lot of wrong notes and dissonance, but back then, this was really the best i could do, and i was super proud of it.
When i was 17, i started taking my dreams more seriously, i had a new and clear goal for myself:
Become a professional video game composer and use my music and popularity to positively encourage people.
Even to this day, i follow this goal with the most passion i could ever have for anything, it is of absolute importance to me.
When i started taking music more seriously, a lot of things also went wrong in my life, and when it started getting worse and worse, i used music to express myself when i couldn’t do it with simple words, i think that moment was one of the most important moments for me, because that’s when i also realized that music is a form of expression, like a second language you can express infinite possibilities with.
I was around 18, i made this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euHE9u-KdkU
I feel like this song is really important to me, it was when i considered myself to be “slightly alright” instead of terrible.
But when i made this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5z66QD9xLu0
I felt like i could make /anything/ if i did my best, i was surprised it came out of me…
I am not a very confident person, it takes a lot for me to look at something i made and be like “this is not bad”, but with this song, i felt a lot of excitement when i finished it, i felt like this was only the beginning, and my passion for music grew ever stronger.
I’m 20 now, and i’m working on a Touhou style music album to celebrate Touhou as a whole, it’s going to be pretty fun! Expect it around April.
Wow, when i started typing this out, i didn’t expect it to be so long.
Well, i guess i’m glad i managed to type all of this out, it’s funny for me to remember that one of my biggest joys in life came from a confused Brazilian who thought i was a composer.