this song gives me a hell of a lot of feels

the old brand new feeling (frank castle)

Originally posted by jesbakescookies

(aaaa i love frank so much he is literally my all time fave sooo….expect lots of unprompted frank, honestly :’o let’s get to it!)

(warnings: mentions of knives, mentions of violence, but no completed acts, attempted (but failed) mugging, mentions of food, mentions of homelessness, cute frank castle moments)


i feel like taking chances/ i feel a lot like seventeen/ you take me right back to when we were kids/ never thought i’d feel like this

(brand new- ben rector)

Frank Castle hasn’t been on a real date since the last time Hell’s Kitchen had a drive-in movie theatre. That was approximately a decade ago, if his math is right, but Christ only knows he isn’t great with numbers. Or dates. His general perception of time has begun to edge out of sync with reality, in all honesty.

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i can’t sleep so let’s ramble for a little bit? the song chanel by frank ocean is giving me the same feelings i had when i first listened to bad religion off the channel orange album in middle school. i want to be myself? confused about my fluid sexuality, able to love whomever, and not policing myself for the comfort of others. but in the back of my head i am always worried about a) going to hell for falling in love with a womxn b) being outed to the s*malii community in my state (again). the thing about me is, i can’t openly be bi and careless. i know so many people and a lot of them, to my luck, happen to be homophobic & transphobic bastards. and there are people watching my every move too, sadly. in 2015 i almost got outed by my “friends” because they found my tumblr and took screenshots. they subtweeted about me and almost ruined my life. so i spent the last two years putting up a very heterosexual image. anything to survive right? fam, i lost myself and who i am. i honestly don’t think i will ever forgive myself for what i did for the last two years. i made out with below average boys who i found no honest attraction towards. i want to set my tongue and body on fire whenever i think about 2016. i was just so scared, i didn’t wanna be the talk of the town. but what’s funny is, if i could go back to 2015 i would have let those girls out me. everything to come after that incident ruined me and i’m trying to repair myself again. i use to pray to god to change me and make me straight when i was in middle school/early high school, nothing changed. i always wondered why me? why couldn’t i just be straight like everyone else around me? but even though i’ve never loved a womxn, i just have this feeling in my gut that there is nothing like the love of loving a womxn. now i am more vocal about being bi (to certain people) and i just don’t care anymore? i still am in fear of getting outed because honestly, i don’t think i’ll ever be ready for that. i just don’t want to deprive myself of being my honest true self because at this point i’d rather die than live my life for the pleasure of someone else. i love myself too much fam.

|| Have you guys ever joined a fandom and found that it was very very small at the moment and you love the thing like a lot a lot all at once and have no one to talk to about so you just sit there all day not knowing how to contain it so it just feels like you’re suffocating ??? It’s hell and I’m just listening to songs that match to give me more feels and banging my head against my damn computer desk. 

MY RAVEN REYES INSPIRED SONG.

#ProtectRavenReyes2k16
I wrote inspired by one of my favourite characters in The 100, Raven Reyes. She’s such an inspirational character and I adore Lindsey Morgan. She’s such a phenomenal actress.
Obviously I had to do a bit of bird symbolism considering Raven :P
I called it Fire & The Fight because she’s a whole lot of a fire and a hell of a lot of fight.
I hope you like it! All guitar, vocals, lyrics, music, instrumentation by me. I’m still trying to learn the whole production and mixing thing, so it’s not perfect. Bare with me while I try figure this all out haha.

LYRICS:

All her love was gone,
And she cried out to the night.
Her bones, rattled by thrones,
The oxygen she’s breathing is false.

The fight is long,
Struggling so beautifully, she’s holding on.
And it hurts, I know it does,
But it hurts even more to feel she’s giving up.

CHORUS:
Birds will fly, but broken wings,
Will keep you on the ground but you’ll do greater things.
Darling you,
Will find a way to soar, with your feet on the floor.
You’re so much more.

Her mind has been to war,
And her body has been worn.
But tell me, have you ever seen a light so bright?
She’s the fire and the fight.

CHORUS

In the darkest night, in the bluest sky.
When the rains they come, she’ll be standing strong.
In the darkest night, in the bluest sky.
When the rains they come, she’ll be standing strong.

CHORUS

Made with SoundCloud
On soundtracks and musical scores

I’m thinking about having an original song (or two) for the project that can be used for promotion. (percy jackson animated series) I was thinking maybe there’s one main theme song that’s very Fall Out Boy-esque (bc I feel like it would feel so epic, right??) about being a hero and stuff. And another slower, Percabeth track, something that feels a bit like Come Home by One Republic with something about giving up immortality for each other, going through heaven and hell as long as they’re together etc I HAVE A LOT OF IDEAS.


If you like pjo and know music (writing lyrics, composing, arranging stuff, singing etc), contact me through my e-mail (ishelmascarinas@gmail.com) or send me an ask :) I’d like to work with you!

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