this shows how lazy i am

Too Much J

INFP: *angry* You realize you could’ve just come to my house and got ready there, right? We haven’t hung out in FOR-ever.
INFJ: But - but we didn’t plan it before hand!
INFP: SO? INFJ, you can indeed just show up at someone’s house the day you decided to go there and everything would still be okay. No one would die.
INFJ: Whhaaattt? I thought that whenever something isn’t planned, an invisible wall forms around the building that I want to enter. Even if it’s our school. So if I don’t plan going somewhere before hand, I won’t be able to enter.
INFP: …
INFP: Um…
INFP: INFJ? Please tell me you are joking.
INFJ: *bursts out laughing*
INFP: You realize that I would’ve totally believed you! WHAT KIND OF MESSED UP CREATURES ARE JUDGING TYPES? HOW DO YOU LIVEEEE??

What If...


Lance and Keith’s Family life was completely different?


-Lance still had his whole family when he was a child, but when Lance was 11 years old, most of his family was killed

-His dad had died the year before from some disease that America has an easy cure for but Cuba didn’t

-Lance only found out about the cure when he got into the Garrison

-His mother was driving some of his siblings to someplace when they got into a car accident and were immediately killed by the impact

-He and his older brother got put into the foster care system bc none of his cousins had enough money to take care of them

-They were split up in the system

-His English was not great for a while bc he never had the chance to learn it that well but then he got better

-Over time his accent slowly disappeared

-A few years later after his family’s death, he got a letter that said his brother had gone missing

-He acted like everything was fine though

-He never got into a real relationship bc everyone he had ever loved had died on him

-So he just flirted with everyone

-One of his foster parents were extremely homophobic but he only found out after he had said their neighbor (who was a boy) was hot

-He learned to keep his sexuality secret

-He covered the bruises up with concealer

-He lived with them for a year before he got moved again

-When he finally got into the Garrison he was bullied because he was Cuban

-He was constantly compared to Keith

-Keith who was born in America

-Keith who still had a family

-Keith who had real friends

-Keith who was a better pilot

-Keith who was (supposedly) straight

(we all know that Keith is gayer than a gay person on Tumblr talking about gayness while posting rainbows)

-When Keith ran away, his family came to the Garrison and and demanded that everyone search for him until he was found

-It turns out he had been trapped in a cave that he had been exploring for a few days

-When Lance went missing, no one cared

-He stayed out in the desert for a year by himself contemplating life

-But whenever he felt like he was in need of a trip to a mental hospital or the void, something, a warm feeling, would stop him (it was Blue)

-One day Keith, Hunk, and Pidge showed up on a stolen hover bike with an unconscious Shiro in front of his house-hut

-Cue the Voltron shtick happening and Lance still being compared to Keith and still feeling worthless and still flirting with everyone and being afraid of falling in love

-But then falling in love with Keith

-Mandatory klance bonding with all around angsty-ness

…and then everyone starts healing together,  the end

kinkfactory  asked:

Hello there! I've come with a follow - because this blog is really great - and a question. I want to write a character with ADHD, do you have any advice on how to properly go about that?

Be mindful. ADHD is a real thing—real people are affected by it. Thus, be careful on how you portray your character. Don’t use it to make a character “different.” Don’t ignore facts because they “don’t fit” your character. Don’t give in the stereotypes seen in popular media and dramatize those.

ADHD should not be the defining factor of your character. I suggest to build your character without the label “they have ADHD.” Get their background thought out (at least the general story of it). Give them relationships—what do they think of their parents? Are they romantically involved? Do they make friends easily? Give them an education; give them interests and hobbies and skills; give them a personality with quirks and faults. After that, research on ADHD and look at how ADHD can affect your already developed character. If there are some facts about ADHD that might go against your character’s traits, understand why and think of how to handle them. Don’t ignore these conflicts. Yes, ADHD affects people differently, so it’s possible some symptoms or traits won’t be apparent in your character, but never ignore these facts. Address them. Understand why these symptoms aren’t there. 

Some links:

On tumblr

Outside tumblr (general)

Outside tumblr (specific topics)

Outside tumblr (infographics)

I’m terribly sorry for the wait, but I hope that helps! And thank you for liking my blog~

Contradictions in the creator quotes

I now stand firmly corrected in my misassumption that the big reveal would mean we would revisit the entire show in light of the ending and see an intricate plan. An emotional context we the audience were meant to miss. I was right. As were others. Problem was, it was a sister all along. Unfortunately the sister rugpull rather than a romance rug pull is the less convincing story arc. What we got instead was a finale that makes in retrospect much of what preceded it seem nonsensical at surface level if we accept the finale as the “solution” or the definitive story. How did we get that wrong? I was never a conspiracy fan. It relied on too much “it can only mean one thing” from mountains of data. When the narrative and the claims of creators lying as a benevolent secret keeping was all that was necessary to see a romantic endgame. I opted always for a simple solution. The simplest most probable answer. And that was heavily reliant on my trust in Mofftiss as good storytellers and good show runners. That was for me my biggest error.

If this was not “gay” but “trash”, how did it to get to be *this* trash?
How is it we were so wrong in predicting the endgame across various different theory camps of this fandom? What weaknesses on their part were we overlooking? Or not privy to? Or ignoring. Or not adequately assessing - so that coincidences were ironically a sign of laziness, or clever writing instead turns out to be poor writing - a series of tricks rather than a plan?

Because the end result is simultaneously infuriating and “Meh.” Two things that should not comfortably go together. A rug pull should leave you so impressed you don’t mind being infuriated. You applaud and shout, “oh you tricked me! Well done! How DID you do it?!” And yet, here we are.

Some fans are deciding to keep the faith - hoping for a final rug pull that will show they really were as good as we believed. I’m not there. I am opting to make a deduction and coming to a probable conclusion based on the data we have. No conspiracy. No cruel intentions. Just a series of unfortunate events.

For as much as I am loathe to say this, I think from an executive production point of view, the absence of someone like Steven Thompson means the absence of a critical third voice.
I don’t know why he left but he should have been replaced by *someone*. Mofftiss were clearly given far too much credit and license. Where was the necessary script editing to rein in their now glaringly patent self indulgent natures?
Keeping secrets to the degree they have, and being allowed to, has been proven a big executive error. Because no one was able to say hold on, how will this play out coherently? Virtually every single thing that frustrates the viewer from TEH on right through to the last frame of TFP could have been avoided if they had had a 3rd voice they listened to and who had the authority to thoroughly critique their plans. They were over indulged in all the wrong places.

TAB was a masterpiece but I suspect not for the reasons *they* think it was. They literally do not appear to have seen what it was they were writing. Or they did and defied the results on screen.
Every critique I have, or have seen, comes down in the end to that. Letting them keep secrets from their cast and crew was a glaring warning that there was no one with the authority or the necessary expertise on board to keep them in check and join up the dots.

Moffat and Gatiss have clearly been working without an outside writer’s voice who has authority that they would listen to. Since TEH it has been a problem that only compounds. The errors build on themselves.
It resulted in a finale that many critics and fans are unconvinced by for *multiple different* reasons. It was only at the end that we see just how much they were driving the show haphazardly and possibly the wrong direction.

There’s an analogy that comes to mind. One reason a manager is paid more than their secretary is that if the secretary makes a mistake their errors have less consequences in the grand scheme. You will likely notice their failings very quickly. The manager meanwhile has the ability to make errors that will not only have bigger impact but will not necessarily be immediately obvious. The more power you have the longer it will take for the true and full negative impact of your decisions to be realized. Because as a decision plays out it creates other decisions in a ripple effect that take time to play out. Of course you can offset this by critiquing the decisions before finalizing them, and thinking through what the consequences might be. If you don’t then what will happen? You can only trust the manager. You assume *they* have thought it through and assessed the potential flaws and risks and negative outcomes. That they have a plan to offset any negative consequences or prevent them from happening.
Making sound decisions demands either a high level of self-critique or a system that lets criticism in. To test your plan. To raise the issue of unintended consequences. Not with an intention of blocking success but to *ensure* it.

This show was, I fear, failing at that far earlier than anyone really knew and I don’t think TBTB see it even now. A clear warning flag that many of us picked up on at the time was AA not being told Mary was going to be revealed an assassin. That was an error that not only impacted her performance (think of her as a secretary who realizing an error she didn’t even mean to make or even knew she was making then has to then self-correct on the fly). but it crucially should have signaled a much bigger managerial error that would have a series of far more fundamental negative results. That secrecy meant that no one else got to say, um… are you sure about this plot line? Have you planned any of this out adequately and considered the long term consequences on the narrative? Because if you head down this path you may not be able to undo it. You can’t just make it up as you go. Think this all out. How will this all fit? What ongoing story are you serving here? Where do you want to land?

But the manager was trusted rather than questioned. The only negative consequence was thought to be its impact on Amanda. No biggie. She’s a professional. She can recalibrate to accommodate the performance errors she unwittingly made. Tiny errors that Mofftiss assumed were no big deal, having incorrectly assumed that it would be a better surprise reveal if she was acting blind of what was to come. But that meant she was serving a different story than them. She had no choice but to. It put emphases in potentially the wrong places. Her fellow actors are in turn then reacting to her acting choices and she is reacting to them. But that notion that if they don’t know anything, or, “just assume your character knows nothing because it doesn’t matter”, is not how acting works. They didn’t trust her. I suspect they were doing this all along to their actors. Not actually trusting their skills or adequately hearing their own unfolding insights from inside the characters. So that the cast were acting repeatedly on false sets of assumptions. So too probably were the directors and crew. As a result, what shows up on screen is not what they all think they are making. They all think they are making a slightly different show.

And the widest gap is between what Mofftiss had in their heads and what was on screen. Next down the pecking order is what Martin and Ben thought they were doing. In light of TFP there are acting choices and editing choices over which take of a scene to use (going by the commentaries) that suggest there was no 3rd party with the authority to hear their conversations and say, have you considered that the actors understand the characters better than you do? If that’s true, how might they see the path they are on? Do you realize that if you use this take you are placing an emphasis you should then follow through on.

And no one had the power to point it out and not be shrugged off. So in retrospect, there are scenes that now seem totally overplayed or emotionally on the wrong foot. And the problem is, which ones were out of character in light of TFP? Because I think that’s up for debate.

This was a show attempting to be very clever and yet apparently was very much NOT thought through. The fundamental fan error was assuming stuff could not possibly be coincidence. Others went further and assumed not just endgame narrative but an incredibly intricate conspiracy that they were hiding in plain sight so the fans could guess what the end game was.

But that was never the only option. The one thing that kept getting sidelined was the possibility that they thought they all knew what they were doing but didn’t. That their plans were flawed. And that it wasn’t that they were intentionally writing a narrative that fans could subtextually read. Rather the creators could not see it. Which produced a ton of unintended coincidences. They wrote it and acted it and designed around it and scored it and could not see the wood for the trees. Because what Mofftiss said ultimately ruled at the end.
And that is paradoxically *why* the love story works. Why there are so many coincidences. Because the story we read fitted the rules of storytelling even while Mofftiss tried to defy those very rules. To insist they weren’t telling it.
They simply ignored what many others could see - the story they were telling in spite of themselves. They assumed their intent was more powerful a force. And in that burned the heart out of their own show. So that the finale focused on Sherlock and Eurus in a self indulgent Bond meets gothic horror genre fantasy when in fact this was always meant to be about Sherlock and John. Even platonically, they failed in TFP to deliver on that adequately. They shoved it to the side so it was virtually a subplot. The wrote the wrong kind of ending for a story they were all unconsciously writing, acting, directing, designing, scoring. The very heart of ACD’s stories. The bond between the 2 heroes. A love story, even if one that was limited in its physical or sexual expression.

They tried to refocus at the end on John and Sherlock and in their fast cut blink and you miss it montage they made yet another massive error. A huge one.
They gave Mary the voice that rightly belonged to go back to John - the Boswell, the blogger, the original storyteller. So he could explain what he and Sherlock are. They did it in TAB. Sherlock understood that in TAB. That John’s public narrative is not the truth. That there is an emotional story the public doesn’t see. An emotional Sherlock the Strand reading or blog reading public doesn’t see. They should have let Sherlock’s intuition and unconscious insight be proven right in real life in the 21st century. They should have replayed that aspect of TAB in the real world. Instead, confusingly, they did the exact opposite - so much so John couldn’t tell if Sherlock was faking his own self destruction.
He couldn’t tell the story if he tried. He needed a second opinion. A big clue that they had made a mistake - the same mistake that led them to introduce Mary’s DVD messages:

Mary was never the storyteller. But they tried to make her one. It was a very flawed decision. One of so many. All interlinked. And all ultimately as result of not thinking it through. They stopped serving the core story and served themselves on a personal fan boy level. They tried to be clever and completely missed the emotional context which they claimed was what this show was supposed to all be about. At a surface textual level. And a brief montage of the future feels like a rushed and inadequate pay off to that original intent. With the wrong narrator - with Mary as our intermediary - we are now inexplicably kept more at a distance from them than we were at the start. After going through hell with them.

I suspect that around TRF they began to lose the plot. They began to think details don’t matter. Even though they then discovered fans were weaving intricate explanations for how sherlock lived they persisted in letting details go. Waving it all off to please themselves and evade scrutiny. Mistake.
All the contradictions in cast and crew commentaries and interviews point to that. And fans, me included, assumed they were smarter than that. We kept trying correct the story to make it make sense by assuming they must be telling a different story. Problem was we didn’t give enough air time to imagining a trash ending and looking for clues of what it might be. We wrote far too generous meta. We gave them way more credit than they were due. They really weren’t the storytellers we thought they were. They were just fan boys amusing themselves for a rug pull that was in the end not very interesting or as original as they think. And certainly not groundbreaking.
Rather than correcting what everyone else got wrong, they hatched up an inadequate plan and made poor decisions. Everyone else put far too much trust in them as writers. And it all culminated in an ending that throws up huge retrospective questions about swathes of what preceded it. It potentially breaks the story so that a rewatch will not make sense.

I see little or no reason to come to any other conclusion. It fits all the rules of probability. They just weren’t good enough writers. They put ego before the heart of the narrative and were indulged by too many others.

There may be other probable conclusions. But the least generous is the most sense making one to my mind right now. It requires no leaps of logic.

Clay Jensen° Apology Kisses

“Psst Jensen!” You turned your back to the occupied teacher and faced said boy, “Clay! Stop ignoring me you idiot.”

He was hunched over his work, although he wasn’t doing anything. “What do you want?” He hissed, tilting his head slightly in your direction.

You furrowed your eyebrows at his sudden outburst. You two had been close friends for quite a long time but a few weeks after Hannah’s death, he became much more hostile towards you.

“What the fuck Clay? Look I know you miss her, so do I, but you don’t have to be such a dick about it.” Shaking his head he turned back to face the front and you did the same, annoyed at him.

° ° °

The rest of the school day, Clay avoided you, even going as far as sitting with Tony instead of you at lunch. Angry and hurt, you texted him to meet you at Monet’s at six to study and talk.

Five to six, you arrived at the coffee shop and took a seat at a small table towards the back, ordering yourself a hot chocolate.

When fifteen minutes passed with no sign of Clay, you decided to get started on your English assignment without him.
Once the time reached half past, you sent him a text asking where he was and if he was coming.

No response and thirty minutes later, being sat at the table alone, you left bearing a heavy heart and teary eyes.

° ° °

The next day at school, you spotted Clay getting out of Tony’s Mustang and quickly ran up to meet him. “Hey Clay.”

Being pulled out of his thoughts, he sent you a small smile, “Hi (Y/n).”

“So… Where were you yesterday?”

Confused, he looked at you. Giving him an expectant look, he quickly put on an apologetic one. “I’m sorry, I don’t follow.”
Reaching his locker he put in the combination and started fussing about within it.

“We were supposed to meet at Monet’s to study! I can’t believe you.”

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry, I completely forgot; I was with To-”

“With Tony, of course.” You cut him off angrily, “I thought we were friends Clay, friends don’t blow each other off to hang with other people!”

“I’m honestly really sorry (Y/n). To make up for it let me take you to the Crestmont to catch a film?” He put on his innocent face and smiled at you.

“Goddammit man, you know I can’t refuse when you do that.” The first bell rang in the background signalling the students to head to their homeroom.

“I know.” Clay laughed. “So meet me there at 7?”

Swivelling around to make your way to your classroom, you sent him a small wave, “See you there Jensen.”

° ° °

Arriving at the Crestmont, you spotted Clay fiddling at the counter. “Aloha Helmet boy.”

Spinning around, his doubts of you standing him up like he did to you disappeared. He gave you a small grin before speaking, “Oh, hey (Y/n).”

“Don’t look so frightened Clay, I was late because my mom asked me to do something before I left. I didn’t forget or anything.” Sending him a gentle smile, you purchased the tickets and went on into the screening room.

° ° °

Oh how badly you regret picking a horror movie. There wasn’t a lot of people in the theatre so yours and Clays ‘manly’ scream echoed all around.  A series of jumpscares later, your popcorn had been strewn everywhere and you were seconds away from losing your voice.

Breathing a heavy sigh of relief as the credits rolled on screen, you turned to Clay, “Holy shit, never again. Let’s get out of here.” Tired, you got up and turned to leave before a hand grabbed yours.

“Wait a second (Y/n).” His hand pulled you back quickly and before you knew what what going on you felt a pair of warm lips on yours. Eyes wide, you looked to Clay, who looked just as shocked as you did. Seconds passed before he hesitantly moved his lips across yours, his eyes fluttering closed.

You stood there, not moving while Clay carried on. Pulling away, he took note of your confused face, and began apologising, stuttering uncontrollably. “Oh my go- (Y/n), I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to- I should have asked. No wonder you didn’t kiss back. Oh god, I’m such an idiot.” Internally face-palming, his face heated up and he avoided eye contact.

“Clay, it’s fine, I was just shocked.” You interrupted his rambling and set your hands on his arms. “We can try again if you want?”

'What the actual fuck (Y/n)?’

“Oh shit, I didn’t mean that. What I meant to say was… We can… Y'know what, I’m just gonna shut up.”

“That sounds like a good idea.” Laughing, he leant in and pressed his lips onto yours in a passionate and heated kiss. Clay’s arms wrapped around your waist whilst yours connected around his neck.

A few minutes and a make out session later, you both emerged breathing heavily and with swollen lips. He pressed his forehead onto yours and stared into your eyes. “Erm, I guess I’m supposed to walk you home now?”

Smiling at his awkwardness, you shook your head, “That would be ideal, yes.”

Clay intertwined your hands and lead you out of the cinema. “At least, this way we probably won’t be attack by any sadistic nun demons.”

“Oh yeah, I’m sure they’re not gonna waste their precious time on a socially-awkward, skinny boy obsessed with Star Wars,” Clay swung your arms and rolled his cerulean orbs.

“Very funny, (Y/n).”

“, and a… I don’t even know what I am.”

“An amazing, beautiful and kind girl.”

“Very cheesy, Clay.”

Showing off a toothy grin, he replied, “You like it.”

“I know.” Leaning up you left a small kiss on his cheek and closed your eyes in pure bliss.

• • •

Yeahhh… I had no idea how to end that, sorry if it seemed a bit rushed :/
Sorry for all the time skips as well; I’m lazy

anonymous asked:

What would be Shizuo's reaction to finding out Izaya has been in love with him since the moment they met and how fragile his heart really is? Would he even care Izaya is in a wheelchair?

I noticed something that I wanted to expand on but I think I can expand it along with your question haha.

Well, he would care. Regardless of his feelings towards Izaya it’s likely he would care because in his interview he said this:

…Anyway, if you’re going to make an opponent of that flea, don’t think of him as a human. It’s better to think of him as a zombie or something.

He probably mistakes himself of being human.

There’s no reason to treat him as a human. In many meanings.

One reason Shizuo thinks Izaya isn’t human (or refuses to acknowledge him as human) seems to be because Izaya is like a zombie in that he keeps coming back because he doesn’t ever seem to be beaten down.  

So if he knows Izaya is in a wheelchair he’d definitely care, because well it goes against his perception of Izaya as a zombie and would make him seem more human. That Izaya can and actually did get hurt - by his hand.

That ‘attachment’ of his…When there is one thing he has an eye on, it’s honestly ominous how focused he’ll become on it to where even your own life is irrelevant.

If there is any ‘fear’ towards him it would be that one point.

So, watch out. First, his own life is secondary to him. Anytime I thought “with this he’ll lay off,” he’ll take another step forward and come at me again.

Shizuo also thinks Izaya has no fear for his life. Unlike those people he beats up, Izaya not only is able to avoid his attacks, but he comes back and bothers Shizuo again and again because he has no fear of Shizuo killing him. Shizuo has taken it to mean that Izaya has no fear of losing his life.

Because I am lazy I’m not going to search through my likes, but I recall that Izaya is afraid of Shizuo now, and his fear has extended to the extent that he flinched (or showed some form of apprehension) when told that someone could lift up a vending machine and asked how far he could throw it (that someone couldn’t throw a vending machine) So he’s definitely fearful for his life.

And this is just my interpretation, but Shizuo’s ‘fear’ towards Izaya could be that of hurting him. Or him ruining his peace. But since Izaya has ruined Shizuo’s peace but Shizuo has always managed to get it back I’ll go with the first one, Shizuo doesn’t want to hurt anyone even if it’s Izaya. Throughout the passage Shizuo uses words like ‘fear’ ‘ominous’ ‘dangerous’ as if he’s apprehensive of something, and I don’t believe it’s just of Izaya ruining his peace. 

Either way Shizuo seems to think Izaya doesn’t treasure his life but he does - his feelings towards Shizuo just transcends that. So that’s an assumption on Shizuo’s part, an assumption which would be revoked if he saw Izaya in a wheelchair and scared of him. So he would care. Either for a logical or emotional reason.

As for Shizuo’s reaction, well, it’s a bit unlikely Shizuo would find out, even if my theory is accurate, I can’t imagine Izaya telling him of his feelings. But for how fragile his heart is, it’s possible he could (or has already) find/found that out from Shinra. And if he knows that while seeing Izaya, well it could make him more human in his eyes.

It’s ‘good’ that they had that death match because it ended up with Izaya in a wheelchair - and not dead. We now know just like Izaya refused to acknowledge Shizuo as human and called him a monster, Shizuo refuses to acknowledge Izaya as human and thinks he’s some kind of zombie (like Saika?). Part of the reason why he said there’s no meaning to Izaya being human could be because Izaya seems ‘invincible’ in that he seems to have no fear for his life and doesn’t get hurt and has no emotions (in that he’s not afraid or scared), nothing like humans who encounter a monster like him. 

So now Izaya after their death match seems to have the two things Shizuo thought he lacked - emotional fear and physical disability. Which would humanize him in Shizuo’s eyes.

Keep reading

Wait

Originally posted by animeplatzu

Television Show: Criminal Minds

Character: Spencer Reid

Pairing: Spencer Reid X You // Spencer Reid X Reader

Genre: Smut

Words: 334

A/n: This might be crappy, I just noticed that I haven’t written much for this month (Haven’t written at all actually)  Also, I was thinking about Spencer having a professor kink so I might be writing that! Just depends how lazy I am, lol!

Keep reading

There’s often talk about how abusive parents can mess with someone’s relationship with food – especially if the abuse has food/weight components to it. I never see talk about how abuse can influence one’s relationship with time and space.

(and for the record, I am not at all discrediting food abuse or any of that. It’s horrible and my heart goes out to people who went through it and may still be dealing with the fallout. I’m just using it as a parallel and way to better describe what I’m about to).

Some parents are strict about food. What you can eat, when you can eat, how much you can eat, they dictate it as if you are an object that has no needs or preferences of your own. My mother had this a little, but surprisingly it’s one of the few things I managed to mostly escape. No, what my mother was strict about was time and controlling what I was doing.

I had to follow her schedule, do what she wanted, do it how she did it. It’s one thing to tell a child “this needs to be done by X time” or “could you do Y for me?” or “here, let me show you how to do Z”, but of course my mother was never like that.

  • I had to do what she wanted when she wanted it done, and when she did it. When she told (or yelled at) me to do something, I had to drop everything I was doing and do it right that instant. Didn’t matter if I was doing homework or playing a game with a group of people or actually going to my job (yes, she forced me to call into work because there was something she wanted done and god forbid it happen 4 hours later), I had to do what she said. And if she was doing something, by the gods I had better be doing something; I got called lazy and screamed at so many times because she decided to do laundry or paper work and I was watching something or playing a game.
  • Before I just gave up trying to deal with her, I always told my mother I would do other things but I would not touch the kitchen because it was disgusting since she never made an effort to clean it and used the skin as a garbage can (week+ old organics mixing with stagnant water creating slime and an ungodly smell was so fun to deal with). What happened? She would always yell at me to clean the kitchen. I could do other things – hell, I could clean the entire house – but if there was one thing I didn’t do that she wanted done, everything else counted for nothing and I would get yelled at.
  • She also never asked me to do something; she told (or yelled at me) what to do. She also never said a word, and not being psychic, things would seem fine until she’d explode about how lazy I was by not doing X, Y, and Z right that instant.
  • My mother never showed me how to do stuff. She would mock me and tell me how to do stuff in a super patronizing tone. If she saw me doing something that worked (sometimes better) in a way she wouldn’t do it, she would yell at me to get it “right” even though I wasn’t harming anything or any one and the way I was doing it was easier or made more sense to me.

As a result, if she’s around, I am constantly stressed and on edge. Even if she’s not home right then but will be later in the day, I am still stressed because I never know when she’s going to yell at me and know no matter what, she’s going to find fault with what I did.

This lead to me “hoarding” time for myself. If she’s not around or is asleep, I will do absolutely nothing except watch stuff, play games, or other things that are fun. It started when I was way younger, but it continues to this day. I never knew when I’d have time to myself or for how long, so I binged the fuck out of what time I had. Even when I want(ed) to clean or organize things, I wouldn’t because it would cut into what leisure time I had. Plus I would get yelled at for doing it wrong or not doing it well enough, so why bother when I could do something else?

Even when I wasn’t enjoying what I was doing, I was still compelled to do it because I never knew when I’d get a chance again.

It wasn’t healthy and I still am stuck with it.

The only time I feel free is when my mother is out of the house for at least a few days. I can do what I want, when I want, how I want and not have to worry about her blowing up at me. I don’t have to worry about dropping everything to cater to her whims, and I don’t have to worry about being criticized for any little thing. I can actually get shit done I’ve wanted to get done forever!

I don’t know if others have similar experiences, but it sucks and just further destroys your self-esteem having stuff that needs to get done – that you want to get done – but can’t because you have to make every moment count when you’re alone, and can’t do it when your mother is there because who knows what kind of storm will blow in when you start.

If I have the house to myself or am staying with someone else (who isn’t family), things instantly change. But otherwise, nope. Because when that’s been your life for how long and was how you survived, it’s hard or impossible to change when you’re stuck living with the person who caused/causes it in the first place.

starforged  asked:

peebee/sara - "I thought this was a romantic date but you just took me to another dangerous Remnant site. So kind of romantic?"

Sara wakes up to arms curling around her waist and the brush of hot air over her neck.

“Got something special to show you,” Peebee murmurs, pressing a kiss to her jaw. “Take me on a date?”

There are definitely worse ways to greet the galaxy in the morning, to be honest. Sara makes some kind of noise in the back of her throat, shifting awkwardly on the bed until she’s facing her girlfriend, kissing her properly. “How am I taking you on a date if you’re the one who has something special to show me”

“Morning breath,” Peebee says, before going in for another kiss anyway. “And because you have a car and I don’t?”

“That’s fair.” The Nomad is a car like the Tempest is a shuttle, but Sara’s warm and Peebee’s warmer, so arguing semantics is definitely not on the menu. She hooks a lazy leg over Peebee’s hip, and there’s a half second where she can feel the other woman’s body relaxing, some of the vibrating energy that constantly courses through her seeping into the mattress, Sara herself.

“And you say I’m distracting.” Peebee untangles herself, rolling off the bed and towards the door in one smooth motion.

“You are distracting,” Sara grumbles, shoving blankets this way and that and generally making the whole ‘getting up’ business a lot more complicated than it needs to be. A glance at her clock confirms that it’s just past six am Tempest-time, and really, who has that much energy at this time in the morning?

Peebee pauses at the door, flashing her a quick grin. Oh. Right

“Don’t worry! It’ll be great!”

She probably should have considered that a warning.


“THIS IS NOT GREAT, PEEBEE.”

This is, in fact, an Architect. Difficult to deal with at the best of times, Sara’s finding this battle a little hard to deal with when there’s a whole two of them fighting the damn thing. Sara’s not in the habit of bringing crew members on her dates, but she’s starting to think she might have to change that policy.

“In my defence!” Peebee squeaks, firing her weapon with one hand and biotics with the other as the Architect opens its maw above them. “This wasn’t here yesterday!”

‘Here’ is a frankly beautiful Meridian grove, hidden in some of the further, unexplored reaches of the hollow planet. Sara hasn’t exactly had a chance to appreciate much of it, what with the whole ‘fighting for her life’ situation, but she can recognise a gesture when one is made. She’s about to yell something back to that effect when her shield flicker, crash, and the Architect rears back to strike–

A heavy weight knocks into her, sending her flying. Panic surges up her throat thick and hot because Peebee has shoved her over enough times now that the sensation is becoming a familiar thing, usually something to laugh about.

Sara doesn’t laugh now. She kicks her jump-jets into gear, offsets the fall, the panic tripping out of her mouth before she can stop it, “Peebee, Peebee, don’t be stupid–”

Peebee stands, a blue streak of nothing against the behemoth Remnant, arm stretched up. Fires into right into its maw. For half a second the sound and fury seems to grind to a halt, the Architect swaying in the air. And then Sara’s limbs start working properly again, and it’s her turn to shove Peebee out of the way as the thing crashes ponderously back to earth. ‘Earth’.

“Oh my god,” Sara gasps, pressing her face to Peebee’s neck as the other woman starts to laugh, the sound glorious and completely insane all at once. “Never do that again, oh my god.”

Peebee’s all hyped up on adrenaline, but pure relief has pushed all of the energy out of Sara’s limbs. Peebee flips them with ease, the weight of her body a comfort (and maybe something more) as she drops giddy kisses to the top of Sara’s head, her brow, cheeks, until she’s lifted her face from the asari’s shoulder enough to kiss her properly.

“I just saved your butt,” Peebee points out, voice rasping a note lower than usual. “Given that you’ve literally died to get us out of sticky situations before, you don’t have a leg to stand on.”

“That’s true.”

They both take a moment to appreciate the fact that they’re lying on the ground. A grin tugs at the corner of Sara’s mouth. Her breathing hasn’t settled at all, but that’s she’s starting to think that it’s not battle fever getting her going right now.

She sets her hands at Peebee’s back, slides them both languorously down the length of her spine until they settle at her hips. Her girlfriend is practically vibrating on top of her, and she wins a full-body shudder as her fingers come to a stop just above the curve of her ass.

“Self-sacrifice, strictly a Pathfinder thing,” Sara murmurs into her mouth, lips tracing a line from the corner, along her jaw. “Sorry, I don’t make the rules.”

“Uh huh.” Peebee’s fingers tangle in her ponytail, dragging the tie out, tugging just hard enough to feel - good. “Lucky for us, I don’t pay much attention to rules.”

As dates go, it’s not half bad. Definitely beats an active volcano, at least.

kit fisto? more like cute fisto am i right

a mostly self-indulgent sketch, but also dedicated to @kyrtsad because kit fisto brought us together and she’s The Best™

damnyoudaddario  asked:

Super unpopular opinion... I don't want Alec and Magnus to adopt Madzie. I think Cat is perfect for her.

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

And every single follower of mine now… *gasp* But… but… but she did reblog fanart with Malec and Madzie. She said they were cute and adorable and all…. how…

True.

But there is a difference between fanart and stuff actually happening on the show. Like, let me get this straight: I am all for Malec adopting like every kid on this planet in the future. Seriously. They both would be great dads and the possibility of them lying on a couch on a lazy sunday, kids between them and just having quality family time f.e., yup sign me up for this. BUT… right now I just don’t want this. I know that Malec adopting Madzie is some kind of “running gag” in the fandom and as I said before, it would be adorable and all. But they just got together, they are still getting to know each other, they haven’t even moved in together….just… let them fucking alone for now and enjoy their time together without them having to worry about kids and all. There is still a war going on so please, the quiet and intimate moments are already rare because of that. 

Later on, as I said, they can adopt every kid that runs into their arms. Seriously. But right now, just leave them alone and let them explore their relationship more and see where this will go from there on.

send unpopular opinions!

OKAY!!! So I know everyone has been doing follow forever’s and all that, but I recently hit a big goal of mine which is 900 followers!!! I honestly cannot believe I have this many followers? I know not all of them are kpop blogs but I love them all anyways for putting up with my bs and everything lol. But I want to thank everyone who follows me and I want you all to know that I love every single of you!!!! (also I’m not gonna alphabetize this cause i’m lazy trash sorry!) (the picutre itself shows how lazy i am right now come on….)

Keep reading

Over 1000? Huh?

I stopped making new posts awhile ago and somehow I ended up gaining over 1000 followers.  I was expecting to lose followers 😅  I take it personal because it shows that people support my OTP and my posts even though I feel like I betrayed everyone when I quit on making new posts a few months ago.  I’m happy to know that many more people are able to see that Luffy and Nami are going to be the Pirate King and Queen.  I hope my posts are able to show how clear the LuNa pairing is going to become canon.  I probably might go M.I.A. again because I got other things going on in my life at the moment (school, friends, family, sports, etc).  If not……………., then I might work on something (depends on how lazy I am).  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

👒+🍊=❤️

euphoria ; prologue

Originally posted by minghaon

Pairing: OT13 x Reader
Genre:
fluff, romance, light reading, college!au, drama (?)
Word count:
1,8k

eu·pho·ri·a - a feeling or state of intense excitement and happiness.

“ because living with these thirteen dorky guys results happy moments, maybe with a little drama here and there and hint of angst. but, in the end, you will feel the euphoria with these boys. ”

prologue | 1 | 2 |


You walked out from Incheon Airport then stopped for a moment, your eyes wandering around the surroundings as a light smile appear on your face. “Not so much change, it still the same like two years ago.” You took a deep breath of the fresh air with another smile.

“Let’s see, I think the dorm is not too far away from here.” You said confidently as you wait for your aunt to pick you up. From what you heard, there are another four people arrived at the same times as yours. You began searching for them but then decided it’s a stupid idea since you don’t even know their faces or names.

Keep reading

To Lead #5

Waaaaah Saeyoung <3 Now everyone know this boy would love to dance… now whether he was any good at it is a completely different packet of Honey Buddha Chips ;)

This one kinda bordered a little more on the nsfw line- like it saw it on the border and wanted to cross the road to become nsfw- but chickened out at the last second and just wanted to be suggestive. Just saying. You’ve been kinda warned. 


Keep reading

Another request by @tarotprose (who happens to be the most energetic member of the tarot community and never lets me feel under-appreciated.)

This spread is to deal with negative thoughts and actions towards yourself and is based on a few discussions of the “wise mind” I’ve had with therapists in the past. 

1 - The Real Problem: You can see negative self-talk as a sort of internal warning light. Something is up in your life that needs addressed. That’s why you’re feeling so bad. The only issue is when one takes these problems and puts all the blame on themselves, meaning that self-punishment feels like the only valid answer. I highly suggest drawing a clarifying card or two here if the answer is not immediately apparent.

2 - Confront It: This card gives insight into why you can’t address this problem head-on. This is the big, scary outcome you’re trying to avoid. This card is often a very harsh truth and should be checked against cards 3 and 1.

3 - Accept It: This card shows you how to live with these thoughts, because healing from low self-worth is a long process.This is the part of your negative self-talk that is legitimate. Maybe you are lazy, or cold towards others, or petty. Learning to accept your flaws and shortcomings not only helps you temper your negative self-talk “Yes, what I did was inconsiderate, but that does not mean that I, as a person, am only selfish.” but gives you the tools you need to overcome them.

4 - Work On It: This is your very first step to actually solving the problem in card 1 and should always be read as an active approach to the problem (that is, something you do and not something you avoid). This can form the base for a longer action plan, and you can pull extra cards beneath this one for a long-term solution.

5 - Let It Go: This is a message of self-love and acceptance that you need, an affirmation of your thoughts and feelings so you can finally put them to rest. Finish the spread by focusing on the most positive meanings of this card in your current situation.