this show makes life 10x better

You know what makes me salty?

When someone gets recognition for being “so good” at something that you know you’re better at.

I know I’m not alone in this.

Like, it’s totally conceited, you know you’re better than them at that one thing, but you don’t go around showing off because you have a sense of humility BUT APPARENTLY YOU GOTTA BE AN ASSHOLE ABOUT IT IF YOU WANT PEOPLE TO NOTICE ASDFGHJKL

It sucks 10x more when this is LITERALLY THE ONE THING YOU ARE GOOD AT but you can’t even get recognition for that.

Let me give you a personal example (I apologize but cue my subtle bragging in order to prove a point):

Me: *Is an art student and has received awards and scholarships* *Is the only art major among my friends*

Friend: *draws a realistic eye* *I’ll give her credit, it’s pretty good* *but it’s all she draws* *literally she just draws the same eye over and over again* *calls herself an artist* *this bitch flunked out of AP studio art*

Other friends: OMG YOU’RE SUCH A GOOD ARTIST IT’S SO REALISTIC LOOKING OH GEEZ OH BOY YOU’RE THE ARTIST FRIEND OF THE GROUP HAHAHA YOU’RE THE ARTISTIC ONE OF THE SQUAD LOL YOU’RE SO GOOD

Me: *has done a new doodle on the lounge whiteboard every week* *has given almost every one of them a personalized drawing of each of them as disney characters, that they requested* *no I did not receive any thank you’s* *has invited them to attend a showcase of all the art myself and my fellow art students made* *they went to the showcase* *they know what I do* *they know I love what I do and am passionate about it* *and yet* *they still call this bitch ‘the artist friend’* *like excuse me* *what*

The cherry on top is that it’s not like it’s all she has going for her. She rides horses, she dances, she breeds dogs, she speaks three languages, she just has so many other cool characteristics. And she constantly gets her ego stroked by getting complemented about those things. And I mean constantly. But no, that’s just not enough I guess.

I shit you not I was working on a project in our dorm’s social lounge the other day (because my room is heckin’ small and I needed the space), some friends were with me chillin’ we all doing our thing. Bitch comes in, sees me, WE MAKE EYE CONTACT, then she turns and leaves. Comes back a few minutes later with her sketchbook (the one that’s FILLED WITH FUCKING EYES), plops her ass down on the couch, and starts doodling away.

Not even ten minutes later

Everyone

And I do mean everyone

Has gathered around her in awe of this fucking drawing near identical to everything she’s ever done, gaping like they’ve never seen anything like it in their life.

Now I’m not trying to say “My art is so much better why didn’t I get any attention myehhhh~” I’m not one to support the idea that some artists are better than others. But I mean… I didn’t receive a single comment the entire time I was working on my stuff, which is fine and all, but it’s really hard to not feel like shit when something you’ve worked hard on gets brushed to the side for something that’s just a cheap duplicate done in like ten minutes, that they have all seen before. Especially when I’ve decided to make this my choice of career. Like, have I made a mistake? Do the awards I’ve received not mean shit in the long run? Because my career choice depends on the opinion of the public, not professional artists. So these awards I’ve gotten are nice and all and I’m really thankful that I’ve received them, but I’m realizing that none of it matters and it just hurts.

And if I hear “Oh she’s just jealous of you!” one more time I’m gonna throw up. I don’t care what she thinks or why she’s doing what she’s doing. All I care about is that it’s making me want to just quit everything if what I’m doing doesn’t matter to anyone except my middle aged professors who won’t matter in ten years, unless I work for them or I get connections through them, but that’s highly unlikely with what I want/plan to do. What matters is that this has reached the point that I’m so fucking close to just saying “you win” and giving up on art and switching majors.

I’m willing to bet that this happens in all walks of life, I know I’m not alone in this. What I ask is if anyone has any advice on how to not feel like absolute garbage, please let me know. I don’t want to give up art, but it seems like the smart option at this point. Plus I’m tired of letting this bitch bring me down every time she’s around.

Aight I’m done, carry on scrolling.