do you remember when green day won the kids’ choice award for favorite music group and billie joe was actually there to accept the award but he couldn’t say anything controversial or cuss in his acceptance speech because it was a kids show so he just shouted “stick it to the man”
I really can’t get over how when the gym coach (Hannibal) was showing the kids the video and Captain America points to the left trying to introduce the coach but he’s standing on the right and he waves like he didn’t just stand to the other side of the tv.
sooo i don't really have a question but i would like an analysis of the new amazingphil video if you have one,, or just your favorite moments, idk i just want you to talk about it, i love your "reviews"
hahaha of course i’ll talk about it!!!!! it’s interesting bc when i first watched this i was actually like not that into it??? it just felt like 10 very calm and chill mins of dnp hanging out which is obviously great but i think i was sort of distracted so i was like mmmm it wasn’t as entertaining as their usual collabs, esp bc on first watch i was like, dan keeps going for these weird dark jokes about torture n maiming and it’s all v Standard Fare but then i thought about it more and realized ,, if this isn’t the biggest evidence yet about how far they’ve come and evolved since last year then idk what is??? like i just can’t believe it’s gotten to the point where i could watch 10 minutes of dan softly playing around with phil’s hair and both of them being a bit calmer and more muted in front of the camera, freely touching each other and joking around about more Mature Themes (hats off to the dildo joke and the “safety word” bit) and have all of that feel completely STANDARD and unsurprising!!! it’s just crazy to me that they’ve normalized these behaviors so much that a video like this could feel so completely expected and ~chill~
but then i watched it a second and third time (bc duh) when i was less distracted and there really were so many little moments that stood out to me and so many cute smiles and soft lil jokes that made me wanna melt and it was all just so good. it’s nowhere near their funniest or most captivating video but it’s just vv vv v v soft and chill and natural. when comparing it to something like pastel edits which is probs a close parallel in terms of them playing dress up and touching each other a bit in direct response to a fan request, you can see how this one is far softer and a little bit less performed–they seem less ‘on’ for lack of a better term, and a lot more laid back, dan doesn’t spend as much time demeaning the idea or teasing the fan base for wanting it, and all of it is just so enjoyable to watch. i’ve included (way too many) timestamps below (plus way too many screenshots, as usual, of stupidly cute moments ugh):
5 seconds in this is already alarmingly cute w dan grumbling behind the pillow that phil wants to give him a creative nickname and phil giggling and looking down at him when he starts complaining
:17 dan gives phil permission to just call him dan and phil looks cute n happy about it
:27 dan needs to reiterate he was a nerd in school
:34 ‘japes’ k dan
:48 i live for the way phil looks so earnest and excited when he asks dan why he decided to ‘embrace the curls’ like he genuinely wants to hear dan explain this .. phil is genuinely obsessed w dan’s curls he wasn’t lyin when he said that in the pastel edits vid :(
1:00 i hope phil was the one who chose that photo as an example of dan’s hair looking good in a pic,, phil thinks dan’s best look is his crunchy 2013 leather jacket n his scoop neck t shirt … #confirmed
1:10 ‘you’ve left me alone!’ calm down phil he’s right next to u
1:12 did phil pick that photo too .. the one of dan in his tank top n hair straightened to within an inch of its life and silvery earrings making a pouty face ,,, lmao i love that he’s picking the cringiest emo-est throwbacks possible
1:54 phil’s like ‘i thought we could eat 400 crusts to see if my hair goes curly’ and it’s altogether a lame joke but dan is staring at him like he’s the most beautiful person on earth. i’d be uncomfortable if i wasn’t so busy melting. then phil stares at dan giggling and it’s all a bit much for me
2:41 ‘what’d happen if i balded you right now?’ dan is so concerned for phil’s well-being that he forgets how to grammar
2:45 the fuckin dildo joke i s2g why are they making sly references to dildos in a g-rated hair curling video why did phil immediately follow dan saying ‘that looks like something else’ by going ‘ooo’ and shoving the curler near dan’s mouth why are they gross
3:21 dan unnecessarily rubbing the curler all over phil’s shoulder and neck … ok
3:41 phil sounds so serious when he asks dan if he thinks the curly hair will suit him, like he really needs dan’s Hot Take on this important issue but dan’s just shuts him down hahaha. i feel like this is reminiscent of the faceapp vid in which dan was completely NOT DOWN with any alteration to phil’s appearance whatsoever bc (vom) he thinks phil is perf jst the way he is (i might actually be sick)
3:47 idk why but i’m obsessed w phil saying ‘dan, don’t mess about with it’ and dan responding ‘i’m nOT’ in his whiny voice w his eyes all wide. cute
3:56 lmao dan bringing up babuse (i can’t type that without thinking of ‘let me see that babussy’ i hate the fucking internet) and saying it was the last time he was on this bed, i am living for these bants and also phil’s expression of mock horror
4:08 ‘curl me up, bess’
4:11 dan’s going for ‘teen nick jonas but without the face’ his crush is going strong i see,, and then he can’t even follow through and tell phil his face doesn’t compare to nick jonas’s so he turns it into a joke about burning his face instead, nice save bro
4:27 THIS KILLED ME THEYRE JST TALKING N DAN JUST BRUSHES ASIDE A BIT OF PHILS FRINGE FOR NO REASON AT ALL HE JST WANTS TO PLAY W HIS HAIR ITS CUTE N IM DYIN
5:01 something about this bit when dan’s like ‘got a whole clump it’s undignified’ and their proximity, the way their arms are sort of pressed together and it looks like dan could be resting his hand on phil’s leg and dan is also sort of just looking down at phil ,,, Good
5:08 when phil kinda squeaks and pulls away all of a sudden i feel like dan is legit actually concerned he could burn phil as evidenced by his voice going all high pitched when he’s like ‘you can’t do that!!!!’
5:13 more completely unnecessary dan playing around w phil’s fringe n brushing it away. it goes on for like 8 seconds plus there’s a jump cut in the middle of it lmao,,, ugh the way he touches phil’s hair is so soft it makes me feel things
5:32 ‘gonna pork you up phil’ does dan know the meaning of ‘pork’ as a verb ?? ? ? ??? ?????? for reference:
5:36 ‘my life is flashing before my eyes’ ‘ooo is it really boring’ dan is showing yet again that he flirts like a five year old who pulls their crush’s pigtails in the playground grOW UP MATE. phil loves it tho
6:03 omg idk why but i LOVED phil saying ‘i’m finding you so disturbing right now’ it feels so authentic??? something about the way he phrased it is so funny??????? like he genuinely needs dan to take it down a notch w the grim humor lmao
6:47 ‘we need a safety word’ oh my god these boring vanilla fucks call a safe word a ‘safety word’ could they be LAMER hahaha (in all seriousness i can’t even believe that’s a joke dan went for at all let alone on this channel and that phil just chuckled n went along with it what the fuck what a time we live in honestly,, the flirting and touching and the whole premise of a dan-curls-phil’s-hair video is already so much but, like, let’s just add a fucking allusion to bdsm into the mix while we’re at it!!!!!!! wtf!!!)
the whole sped up montage of dan doing the curling is just rife w gratuitous hair touching so like obvi i immediately turned the speed down to .5 and just sat back to enjoy it (also @kay-okays uploaded a slowed down version here if ya wanna look at that or like bookmark it for ur own uses ,, whatever ur into m8)
7:18 those two gentle pats that dan gives to the back of phil’s head before phil looks at his finished hair … so fucking adorable bc it’s the way dan pats down his own hair when he’s fixing it pls save me
7:29 dan obvi needs to make it a point to emphasize they have the same hair again as has been his constant refrain about their haircuts for the last like 3 years (tbh i’m convinced that he literally misses having the same hair as phil which is gross and just as sappy as i’d expect from him) and in order to demonstrate how ALIKE they are again he proceeds to mirror phil playing w his fringe bc why not ..
‘this was the only thing that was separating us’ PLS
7:38 dan’s Hot Take 2.0: ‘you look like a cool australian surfer … like a weird goth one that has never been to the beach’
8:14 dan asserts on phil’s behalf that phil ‘needs’ the edge of his emo fringe and phil immediately agrees. rip to anyone who was hoping quiff!phil might be on the horizon
8:39 dan goes defensive about how he could’ve done a better job and phil immediately jumps in to say that he thinks dan did well in the most sincere voice of all time, accompanied w cute/soft smile
and then he cuts dan off entirely to remind him that he didn’t burn phil’s face off and to v fervently thank him (he litro NODS while he thanks him it’s so SERIOUS) and then dan does some weird touchy thing to phil’s chest or arm or both and phil decides to boop dan’s cheek and you should really SLOW IT DOWN bc when you do, you notice it’s more of like a lil squeeze as opposed to just a v light tap and it’s gROSS:
8:59 then, since this video has far too much dan gratuitously touching phil and phil was surely feeling deprived, phil reaches over to give dan a ‘zayn curl’ and play w dan’s fringe a bit n at this point i’ve had Enough of this cute ass shit
9:20 dan couldn’t just leave it there, he needs to take a moment to re-assert the ~dnp don’t go outside or go to parties or talk to people Ever~ branding just in case ANYONE forgot (but also seems like a low key way for dan to gently remind the audience not to get attached to this in any way bc it will probs never happen again)
9:40 phil dubs dan the “original curly man” n idk how to feel about this but i suppose that is a fitting conclusion to this absolute roller coaster of emotions
ugh. just a really great video. i’m sorry this post is massive,, there’s jst so much here and i needed to have pics of ALL OF IT
A YouTuber AU SnowBaz fanfic for the Carry On Countdown
Simon Snow’s first YouTube video is one of my
favourites. It’s as painfully awkward as
any other YouTuber’s first video. He
sits up too straight in his chair, he smiles and laughs too mechanically, and
the film quality itself is poor, with half of his words lost to shoddy editing.
Yet despite all this, it’s adorable.
of course, it’s the origin of the biggest OTP on YouTube, SnowBaz.
guys,” Simon waves at the camera, his hand going all pixelated at the
movement. “Welcome to the first video on
my channel!” He’s inserted a sound
effect of people cheering. I have to
laugh. It’s so damn cringe-worthy.
goes on for a few moments, trying to make jokes and jump-cuts that work, when finally,
it’s everyone’s favourite part.
are you doing, Snow?” comes a voice from off-camera. My heart turns to mush.
new flatmate, or at least he was new at this point.
my first YouTube video,” Simon grins up at someone behind the camera. “Come say hi!”
the censor sounds old, like it was stolen from the year 2007.
looks a bit panicked, like he’s realizing that he’ll have to edit out the swear
word. A door slams somewhere out of the
my new flatmate,” he tells us. “His name
is Baz. He’s kind of a prat.”
you wait,” I whisper at my computer screen.
“Just you wait.”
and Baz do not get along. At all.
much is clear from the first video, but it become increasingly obvious as Simon
posts more frequently. He often films in
the living room, which drives Baz insane.
don’t you film in your own room?” he says, audibly annoyed.
lighting in there is terrible,” Simon protests.
I’d like to be able to walk around my own flat, if you don’t mind.”
ahead, no one’s stopping you,” Simon shrugs.
“Besides, the viewers keep saying they want to see you.”
old Baz. Sarcastic and full of
himself. They don’t appear to realize
it, but the two of them balance each other out perfectly.
by little, Baz begins to make his mark on Simon’s channel. At first we only hear him from off-screen,
offering his two bits about nearly everything Simon has to say. Many of his comments are admittedly quite
mean and uncalled for, but Simon never edits them out. Baz is the invisible heckler. Viewers begin to latch onto this weird relationship
of apparent hatred and, as YouTube viewers are wont to do, turn it into a new
ship. “SnowBaz” they call it, and before
long the comment sections on all of Simon’s videos are full of things like “I
ship it” and “OTP”.
not to fall victim to this shipping trend myself. It feels insensitive to me, shipping real
live people that I’ve never even met like they’re objects of sorts. But even I can’t deny that the two of them
would be cute together. Provided they
stop hating each other.
Baz appears onscreen for the first time.
on the couch in the background, facing away from the camera. All we can see is long black hair. He only moves when he’s shouting ridicule at
Simon’s words. Once he turns his head
further to make himself heard, and we catch a glimpse of the light brown skin
of his face. This time the comments are
all “is that Baz?” and “OMG BAZ”.
that he starts to appear more often.
Sometimes he’s facing the screen, looking down at his phone or a
book. He’s tall, and his hair reaches
his shoulders. The expression on his
face goes between concentration and a sneer, that latter of which he reserves
for his heckling. It doesn’t take long
for people to start commenting on how attractive he is. Still Simon leaves all the footage of Baz in
his videos, not hiding a single rude comment from his viewers.
Simon tries to get Baz to join him for a “meet my flatmate” video. Baz responds simply by flipping Simon off in
the background, which Simon has to pixel out.
He’s gotten better at editing at this point.
Simon posts daily vlogs on days when he does things that he considers
exciting. The things that Simon finds
exciting are too cute for words. They
tend to be little events like going to a coffee shop, things that are almost
mundane but for some reason they excite him.
He does this thing where he dances when he’s excited. He’ll bob his head cheerfully as he walks,
glad to just be out. He’s gone to the
grocery store with Baz a few times in his vlogs. Those videos are some of the best ones. They bicker about everything from which kind
of milk to get to who gets to carry the baskets. Sometimes we can see Baz’s mouth quirk like
he’s trying not to laugh, like all this bickering is just a game for him. Of course, this sends the SnowBaz shippers
into a frenzy, the idea that maybe, just maybe, Baz doesn’t hate Simon as much
as he lets on.
there’s one video on Simon’s channel that is the absolute bread of life for
anyone who ships the two of them. Simon
is doing a Q&A, and as usual Baz is sitting and reading in the background.
question is from Twitter,” Simon says, reading off of his phone. “They ask ‘Are you in love with anyone right
if you look closely, you can see Baz go rigid.
Simon leans in close to the camera, “I have been messaging with someone quite a
lot. I don’t know who the person is, but
we’ve gotten really close and I’m starting to think -”
you keep it down, Snow,” Baz pipes up, his voice tight. “I’m trying to read over here.”
doesn’t speak of it any further, but Baz sneaks glances at the back of Simon’s
head more than once before the video is over.
I don’t know how Simon could have not noticed it. Certainly every single one of his viewers
did, which is to say over a million people.
Perhaps love is completely daft.
I arrive home from work on a particularly rainy day in October, I am delighted
to open my computer and find that Simon is in the middle of a livestream. Comments flow constantly from the sidebar and
I settle in to join the party. He’s in a
different room this time, one with a neatly made bed on which he sits, and I
gather that it’s his room. It looks so
clean, but I wonder if there’s a disaster hiding behind the camera.
leans towards us like he’s trying to read all of the comments and questions as
they flood in. He gets a lot of I love you’s and he grins in response,
trying to return as many of them as possible.
got to go soon,” he tells us and I sigh in disappointment, “but I’ll answer a
few more questions first.” He’s quiet
for a minute as all the viewers catch up with the stream. “Here’s one: ‘Did you find out who was
messaging you so much?’” He pauses
before answering. “Funny you should ask,
because yes, I did, and that’s a perfect segway into what I wanted to talk
about.” He shifts on his bed. “I have a bit of an announcement -”
door opens behind him, and Baz in all his glory appears in it.
start flying in of “BAZ” and “OMG”
are you doing?” Baz asks without a hint of a sneer in his voice.
filming a live show,” Simon tells him.
He seems… nervous?
live show, eh?” Baz strolls over and –
wonder of wonders – sits down on the bed next to Simon. We’ve never seen him this close to the
camera, and his eyes are this lovely mix of gray and green.
also never seen him this close to Simon before.
heart kicks up a notch. I’ve fallen down
the slippery slope and now there’s no denying that I ship it completely. I grab a pillow to hold to my chest and go
into fangirl-mode, overanalysing every inch of their proximity. With a click I maximize the screen, blocking
the other comments from my view. I want
to see every pixel of this.
was just going to make that little announcement,” Simon says, staring at his
hands in his lap.
Baz nods, apparently understanding. “Go
on, then. Carry on, Simon.”
Did he just call him Simon?
He never calls him Simon!
“I can’t do it if
you’re here!” Simon protests.
gives a shrug. “Then I’ll tell them.”
takes Simon by the collar and kisses him.
scream into my pillow.
and Baz are kissing, right now, in front of millions of people.
practically hear the collective aneurism that the fangirls are currently
still kissing, and Simon is grinning against Baz’s mouth. It’s the most genuine smile he’s ever graced
the internet with, and it’s not even for us.
tearing up, I’m so happy for them.
lets Simon go and turns to smirk at the camera.
“That one’s for all you SnowBaz shippers out there. Don’t think we don’t know.” He winks.
He fucking winks.
then he leaves.
turns back to the camera, his cheeks red and his lips puffy. He grins sheepishly.
yeah,” he stammers, “that’s what I was gonna tell you about.”