this show both kills me and gives me life

My Name is CalvaryKnight, nice to meet you all

If we met 5 minutes ago or 5 months ago, this is a little information about me, as an Artist, Christian, Person… So it would help to share, so I can see all of my old friends, meet new ones, or if you just enjoy my art, so here we go, a little about me:

My name is Tony, I am a Christian, (I will talk about that more later) I am a mix of Navajo, White, and Mexican… Strange combo I know ^u^ 

I am 6′4″ (roughly 193cm - 194cm) wear mostly dark clothes because I think they look nice and yes, my hair is just like how I draw it, I get many many comments on it XD, it is very fluffy. And takes lot’s and lot’s of hairspray heheh

In summary, I grew up in a rough neighborhood as a child. Gang violence, and well… just not a place for someone who wants to Love God haha… My entire family was inclined to artistic ability, creating patterns, creating pictures so realistic, they looked like grey-scaled filters on photographs. 

The best artists were my Two oldest brothers… They were Tall, Strong, Very popular, very kind, loving… and their art… their art was incredible… Drawing mech’s at 12, and perfect self portraits at 20… they were inspiring. 

In short, my family was destroyed at the loss… of both of them. One died a Hero, Giving His life to protect a friend, the other killed standing up for what’s right. 

My family destroyed, distraught, and me caught in the middle. In this time, My Father, my little brothers and I became Homeless… living in a car, living in a homeless shelter and other places… But there was my Dad… praying everyday, with a smile on His face… I was confused… in pain. 

But… I couldn’t feel a thing… People saw me smile, saw me laugh, but it was just a show, with everything I had gone through I was a child with a broken spirit. I was putting on a show to pretend… I forgot how to feel, how to care, how to… Love.

But God did a good work… He saved us from where we were… we did not go hungry. I should be dead… that is the truth, but God chose to hold us, protect us… My Dad, never doubted… that’s why He would smile… He wasn’t just asking God to save us, He was thanking God because He KNEW God would.

“So you trusted God since then right? That was such an amazing thing He had done, so you lived for Him then on right?” …No… Sadly.

It took me a very, very, very long time to see the light that shined in my life…Even after going through all of this, I still just saw God as the one my dad believed in… and the truth is… and it breaks my heart to say this but…

~~~~~~~

I didn’t learn how to truly care for people, love people, and know people, know my emotions… until just a few months ago. Which is a reason I left… Don’t get me wrong, I knew how to say the right words, how to make people feel nice, loved, cared for… but in my Heart it was not real. 

But I am only now truly, caring for people, with my whole heart… not a mask… not a trick… I care about people, and love them… in a real way…  and I never want to stop.

Now with my Family in ruins, The artistic lights in my life Gone, the greatest artists I’ve ever known, the brothers who raised me… gone… I lost any ambition I could have had… ~~~~~~~

I wanted to try, at least a little… I picked up a DSI, and doodled, not good art, but that’s where… That’s where I found my inspiration. 

My inspiration, showing me that there was hope, and good things that can be done with art, if something so amazing could stick around me, even though I had no skills…Even if my brothers are gone, in me, How much more could I create? That’s when I really gave it a shot, and went from stick figures to realistic art in around a year… my inspiration came and went, showing me what I could do, if I believed my art had purpose.

My inspiration was important, but… if the inspiration was just for me, and had nothing to do with God, I couldn’t keep it… That’s the truth, because God has great plans for me and my life. With Him, I became a Counselor, a youth teacher and a Church leader in short time… 

Not long ago, my inspiration led me to tumblr, and I loved it, even if I disagree with, certain views people hold… I want to be a friend, and care nonetheless… I grew closer and closer to my inspiration, growing my skills, my heart… and yet also growing my weakness as I learned…

Then… I lost my inspiration, no matter how much I hurt, tried and called out… my inspiration was lost. As I felt lost as well… That’s when it happened…

God showed me, He took away a gift I wasn’t ready for. This inspiration was His blessing, and I didn’t work with it right… I was selfish… 

That’s when I realized, I needed to be real, who God wanted me to be, and when I realized that, when I stopped trying to fight God and get MY way… He gave me, and those around me so much more than I could imagine…

~~~~~~~

He gave me life, hope, and finally, after years, and years, of waiting and wondering… He showed me what caring about people really was, really caring, really loving, not selfishly. So that’s why I am back. Because I want to be the friend, the… Tony I should have been…

Did I get my inspiration back? Well, no not really… my inspiration is out there, and I call to it everyday, but… I am not worried anymore, I know when the time is right, this time… I will be ready, and I will be the best I can be!

~~~~~~~

So that’s my story so far, at least in summary, there is many things I left out, but hey one day maybe heheh, Thanks for reading!

I would like to give a special shout out to people who have inspired me here, and were a huge reason I came back:

@omgaflyingpig @wolfoftonight @xgemdrawsx @albatronic1987 @anonymousbathtub @blackevilblood 

I want to thank all of you reading, but these friends in particular, really inspired me, with their art first, and then with their friendship… Please show them some Love they really deserve it ^u^

anonymous asked:

Lol I love Claire, she just saw danny and colleen's kiddy flirting and went "aww how cute, but you'll are both idiots who need all the help you can get" so she sat with them to eat, turned the conversation to chastity vows and then made a smooth exit. Nice, Claire. :D

That’s exactly what happened and it kills me omg. Her expressions throughout that scene are hysterical. Honestly that whole scene is perfection and I can’t believe it’s an actual real scene in the show it gives me LIFE

anonymous asked:

top 5 sailor moon moments?

ok anon but there’s a lot for me to be specific about 

do you mean OVERALL AS IN DOESNT MATTER? OR ANIME ONLY? OR MANGA ONLY? OR CRYSTAL??? because top 5 cant cover ANY OF THOSE lol but ok here we go let me try for you. ill pick overall because that’s easiest and still leaves room for people to ask specifically for the anime/manga/crystal if they want to.


1. usagi smiling right before she leaps to stop pharaoh 90. this moment kills me in both the manga as well as crystal. the whole scene leading up to this and after this are SO. SO. SOOOO GOOD AND I WANNA CRY JUST THINKING ABOUT IT. it shows a lot of growth for usagi as a character as well as a lot of depth about who she really is, both as a person and as a soldier. 

2. dont even get me started on hotaru and chibs. okay these lil precious babies give me so much LIFE its not even funny. the friendship they share is so special and wonderful and there’s nothing i dont love about them together. 

3. BABY FUCKING SENSHI. 

4. silver millennium flashback scenes. i love all of episode 44 even tho it breaks my heart every single time. like i know its coming, doesnt lessen the break whatsoever. i love the backstory of princess serenity and prince endymion & find it insulting we dont get more of it. 


5. EVERY LITTLE MOMENT LIKE THIS FROM CLASSIC.

“YES LUNA, KEEP TALKING”

*SHOVES HIGH SCHOOL ID IN USAGI’S FACE”

*WALKS AROUND INA TUXEDO IN THE DAY TIME*

“ODANGO ATAMA” 

FUCK, MY HEART I AM DONE. 

OKAY WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

Yuri on Ice Episode 9:
- most important thing first!! Makkachin is alive and well and we can all be happy again!!!!! :)
- Yurio’s grandfather actually combined Yurio’s two favorites?!?!? (pirozhki and pork cutlet bowl)
- Sala and Michele “broke up”
- Sala and Mila (love them)
- OUR BABY BOY YURI HUGGING EVERYONE?!?!?
- YURIO HAIR UP FUCKING BRAIDED AND THE COSTUME my little precious son has evolved into a beautiful butterfly
- Yuri missing Viktor and going through memories of him while skating
- YURIO BEING SUPPORTIVE SON TO HIS DAD YURI
- JJ being the king… again (Yurio hates him)
- Yuri speakin russian (a little bit)
- Yakov being suprised by Yuri’s performance
- YURIO BEING FRIENDS WITH YURI AND GIVING HIM A FUCKING BIRTHDAY PRESENT?!?!?!!?
- Yurio calling Yuri “pork cutlet bowl”
- Yurio being so proud of his grandfather, so squishy and smol!! just look at his smile!! so proud
- Emil being worried cuz Mickey screamed
- All of them blushing while being nervous (or in love *cough*)
- THE SCENE AT THE AIRPORT LIKE WTF!!!? Viktor and Yuri running while looking at each other and then the hug and hand kiss and the proposal and the proposal AND THE PROPOSAL?!?!?!!?
- “Please be my coach until I retire!” LIKE BITCH WHAT
- AND THEN VIKTOR’S ANSWER “I wish you’d never retire” BITCH YOU GONNA BE HIS “coach” UNTIL YOU BOTH DIE?! THAT SOUNDS A LOT LIKE MARRIAGE TO ME and of course that made Yuri tear up

Furuba Sentence Meme
  • “We can go back to the way things were, can’t we?”
  • “I don’t know how to love you anymore.”
  • “So I think in this case… I have no choice but to get my ears pierced.”
  • “___, Will you kiss me?”
  • “When you’re gone, I’m so uneasy I keep myself together.”
  • “I don’t know… What to do anymore!”
  • “Kind people are clung to. Their sought out… and taken advantage of. By people like me. That’s why I won’t let them get involved.”
  • “Being alone is a frightening way to live.”
  • “There’s no reset button. You have to deal with what you got.”
  • “I never thought the day would come… The day when I’d be praised.”
  • “You’re the one who put the rope around her/his neck!”
  • “You really don’t need someone like me.”
  • “Hey, don’t do anything reckless on your own anymore.”
  • “In this world, there are people who are needed and people who aren’t. You’re the latter.”
  • “I think you want them to care. You want them to look at you, don’t you?… You want them to need. You want them to accept you. I think… you want them to love you.”
  • “You wanna leave the gang that bad? Show us how bad, princess.”
  • “I hope to marry this imperfect girl/boy.”
  • “Can I… do that? Give birth to a human being? Do I have the right to?”
  • “We were both a fault. That’s why I won’t apologize either.”
  • “It’s all my fault. I did it… I let them die.”
  • “I don’t want you to forgive me anymore!”
  • “You wanna kill some time with me?”
  • “I love you, you idiot!”
  • “This world is cruel, dark place. Your whole life will be lived in that darkness.”
  • “It bothers me if you don’t speak your mind.”
  • “You make me sick.”
  • “Just cry when you have to.”
  • “You looked so lonely.”
  • “It makes you look so stupid… and so deserving of love.”
  • “Just being able to go out with you makes me very happy.”
  • “You’re like a dog.”
  • “Wanna walk home together?”
  • “If I’m gonna keep living, I want it to be with you. I don’t want anyone else.”
  • “I really do love you. And that feeling is invincible.”
  • “No one cares about what’s convenient for you, stupid. It doesn’t change the fact that you made her/him cry!”

anonymous asked:

i just watched a (pretty) recent interview with tyler where he's talking about his marriage and it was so cute. he was like 'married life, i recommend'. they're the definition of #relationship goals. he also said that they can't go one week without seeing each other! kill me now, how cute is that. they're both so happy to be married and that makes me very happy. ughh, give me that kind of relationship, pls

fuck omg whenever i think about “my dime piece wife” my heart contracts a lil bit and i just,.,. i want that too. please. 


my first top show was on valentine’s day 2016 and i rly hope jenna was there tbh

Play with Me (Chapter 2)

The reader is a meta-human whose powers include blood (only when outside of the body) manipulation. Because of these powers the reader is captured and experimented on. Once she gets out she is a little crazy…and is looking for something to distract from the nightmares and finds a nightmare of her own, the Clown Prince of Crime.

Hello! Please let me know if you have any suggestions or ideas for improvement for my fanfiction or want me to start writing one shots!  

Warnings: Smut 

Introduction 

Chapter 1 


     You stared out the window of the fast moving car trying to figure out where Mr. J was taking you. It had been so long since you had been in a car, so just being able to look out the window was exciting for you. It reminded you of your normal life. Before the voices and before the pain. 

     ‘Was there ever a time before the voices?’ you thought to yourself.  Mr. J wrapped his hand around your jaw, bringing you back to reality from your thoughts. He pulled you away from the window, forcing you to face him. 

     “Whatcha thinking doll?” Mr. J growled breathing heavily, wondering if you were looking for a way to escape. You squirmed slightly in his lap, not wanting him to see the effect he had on you. 

     “Just wondering where we’re going Mr. J,” you assured him. You moved closer to him, bitting your lip, attempting to regain some of the power in your game. He purred as he held your hips and pushed one of your legs over his lap so that you were left straddling him. You felt your cheeks heat up as Mr. J moved your hips against him. 

     The tension between you two rose as each of you waited for the other to make a move. The game was exciting and intoxicating. Both of you were aware that the one could easily kill the other but the game was too addicting. You leaned forward, arching your back slightly, and pushed your chest up against Mr. J to try to get a reaction out of him. You let your hands rest on his shoulders as you grind back down on him. 

     “Caaareful doll,” Mr. J smirked as he continued to purr, holding your hips still. “You don’t want to start something you can’t finish.” You pouted innocently looking down at Mr. J. 

     “I have no idea what you are talking about Mr. J,” You giggled as you hopped off his lap into the seat next to him. Mr. J let out a low growl of disapproval as the car pulled up to the house. One of Mr. J’s men opened the door for the two of you letting you escape before he could catch you. You closed your eyes and grinned taking a deep breath of fresh air as you felt Mr. J come up to you from behind.

     “How do you like it doll?” he asked you as he placed his hands on your shoulders, massaging them lightly. You purred under his touch and turned to look at him. 

     “Its great Mr. J,” you said smiling up at him. To be honest you didn’t care about the house. You hadn’t lived in one in years. Was it years? Months? You couldn’t remember. You didn’t care because anywhere was better than where you were. 

     “Great?” he questioned. “I don’t like being lied to y/n.” You giggled at his sudden seriousness. Would he be shocked by the truth? Would he want you after he knew? 

     “To be honest, I don’t care about houses Mr. J. I can’t remember the last time I lived in one.” You continued to laugh at Mr. J’s confused expression. 

     “Where were you before all this then?” Mr. J smiled as he felt curiosity creep back into his mind. Your face fell thinking about the cell you were kept in. Your mind teleported you back into the darkness but you tried to focus on Mr. J.  

      “I,I don’t…I don’t know,” you stuttered trying to remember. There was so much time that was lost. You gripped your newly bandaged hand feeling the comfort of your blood seep through the bandages. Mr. J noticed instantly this time and grabbed your hand and interlocked his fingers with yours to stop you. 

     “Don’t worry doll. We have plenty of time to play.” He growled making you laugh. You nuzzled your face into his chest wanting to forget the past and push the memories out of your mind. Mr. J led you into the house, letting your hand fall back to your side as he wrapped an arm around your waist. Clean, that was the first thing you noticed. You felt out of place in a way. You didn’t know where to go or what to do. “Stop worrying, y/n,” Mr. J ordered, running his hands up and down your arms trying to calm you. He knew there would be no fun unless you could relax. 

     “I’m sorry, Mr. J,” you smiled, deciding to at least try. “How long am I going to stay?” you questioned. 

     “You are mine now, doll,” Mr. J purred “You will stay for as long as I like.” You giggled knowing that Mr. J would only really want you to stay as long as the game was interesting. Mr. J paused and suddenly gripped your arms tight. “Do you want to be my doll, y/n?” You were surprised he asked your permission. you stayed silent contemplating how you should answer. Were you ready to be his? 

      “Y-yes, Mr. J,” You said tentatively. He frowned as he ran his hands up to hold both sides of your face. 

     “Do not take this oath thoughtlessly. Desire becomes surrender, surrender becomes power,” Mr. J almost whispered. Then you understood. He wanted to you to surrender yourself to him. He wanted to be able to own you completely for everything you were. He wanted to own everything you could become. You nodded, completely under his control, left unable to speak. “Say it y/n.” he commanded as he watched you try to find the words. “Say it, pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty…”

    “Please,” you say softly in almost a moan. Mr. J’s smile returned as he groaned. 

      “You are so good!” He pulled you in roughly attacking your lips with his. You found yourself immediately reacting to his touch despite your surprise. You wrapped your arms around his neck giving into him. He ran one of his hands down your body to rest on your hip and let the other grip your hair. Your bodies moved together as Mr. J pushed you further into the house. You couldn’t think. The only thing that filled your mind was him. He consumed you. Mr. J pushed you into the living room and let you fall onto the couch. You looked up at him in a daze wanting to play. He stepped back and sat in the lounge chair opposite to you. You smiled back at him understanding what he wanted. 

     You slowly unzipped your dress and slowly let it fall as you walked towards Mr. J. His smile grew wider as you fully step out of the dress and straddled him in only your black lace underwear. 

     “Let’s play Mr. J,” you teased before placing light kisses along his jaw. He smiled up at you as he pulled out a small knife. He traced patterns lightly along your skin with the tip of the blade sending shivers up your body. Mr. J slowly cut through the thin material of your bra letting it join your dress on the floor. He stared intently at your breasts as he grabbed your hips pulling you closer to him. You felt your cheeks heat up being so exposed in front of Mr. J for the first time but something told you it would not be the last. 

     “Mmmm, tell me what you want doll,” Mr. J whispered in your ear as he played with the remaining lace of your underwear. You whimpered as Mr. J’s lips traveled to your nipples softly biting your sensitive skin. His hands gripped your thighs as pulled you down onto him so you could feel how hard he was through the fabric of his pants. You both smirked. 

     “Someone is happy,” you giggled grinding down on Mr. J. He let out a light chuckle at your attempt to tease him, knowing his affect on you. 

     “I don’t think you should be talking doll face,” he said as his fingers lightly brushed against your soaked panties making arch your back in pleasure at his touch. You had both been teasing each other since you met. The wait was killing you and Mr. J was enjoying the show. 

     “Come on Mr. J,” you pouted “play with me.” You wanted him. More than anything you had ever wanted in your life. He consumed you. He filled your mind and now you wanted him to own you. You wanted him to play the game. 

     “Tell Daddy what you want y/n,” Mr. J commanded as he grabbed your breasts finally giving you the little bit of pleasure you needed to submit. Your arms wrapped around Mr. J’s neck and you pulled yourself towards him. 

     “Make me yours daddy,” You whispered picking up on what Mr. J wanted to hear. He growled in pleasure as he pushed you off him suddenly. You landed on the soft rug and stared up at Mr. J who was pulling off his jacket leaving him with just his unbuttoned shirt.  You smiled once you could see all of his tattoos clearly. You crawled towards him on your knees waiting for his orders. 

     “Be a good girl and show daddy what you can do,” He said unzipping his pants letting his well endowed manhood free from its confines. You licked your lips without thinking, wanting to taste him. Mr. J grabbed a fist full of your hair and pulled you closer. 

     “Yes, daddy,” you purred before licking up Mr. J’s shaft. He groaned at the sudden contact and watched as you swallowed as much of his dick as you could. You purred looking up at Mr. J watching his reaction. You continued to moved your mouth trying to take more and more each time wanting to please Mr. J. You could feel him grow as you quickened your pace listening to him growl at the pleasure you were giving him. You could feel your soaked panties shift as you leaned into him to take all of him in your mouth. His grip on your hair tightened as he pulled your mouth off him. You almost whined in dissatisfaction at the loss. You wanted more of him. He chuckled as he pulled you up off the floor and pushed you down on to the couch. Now it was his turn to have fun with you. 

     “Now doll, tell daddy what you need,” He teased you letting his shirt finally drop to the floor. You couldn’t find the words all you could do was listen. Mr. J dropped to your level and slowly spread your thighs. He growled at how wet you were for him and knew his patience wouldn’t last long. His hands gripped your inner thighs as he slowly started to pull off your ruined panties. You shuddered at the exposure and unconsciously tried to close your thighs to cover up. Mr. J growled and pushed your thighs apart roughly. 

     “Why are you trying to hide from me doll?” he smirked as he could feel you squirm as he got closer to your core. You just whimpered wanting him to touch you so badly. 

     “P-Please Mr. J,” you tried to say. You couldn’t think of something better to say. You were lost in Mr. J. 

     “Mmmm please what kitten?” he chuckled before he slowly licked up your inner thigh stopping right at your core. You shuddered at the contact and bucked your hips up wanting more. 

     “P-please touch me daddy. I-I need you.” Mr. J’s smile grew as you continued to beg for him.

     “See? I could tell you really meant that,” he purred as he finally licked up your core letting his tongue play with your clit. You moaned loudly as you started to grind your hips against Mr. J. You forgot everything besides him. Mr. J held your hips down against the couch gaining more control over you. He let his tongue slip into your core as one of his hands slipped up your body to your breast making you moan at the intense pleasure. He rolled your nipple in between his fingers as he sucked on your clit almost pushing your over the edge. 

     “C-can I cum daddy?” you whined wanting Mr. J’s approval before you fully gave into your body’s needs. Mr. J stopped almost instantly causing you to whine wanting Mr. J to finish you. 

     “Such a good girl,” he praised “asking for daddy’s permission.” Mr. J sat on the couch next to you and pulled you on top of him just like he did in the car. You moan as he held your hips up so you all you could feel was his tip teasing your entrance. “Now beg for what you want doll,” Mr. J growled as he continued to tease you. 

     “P-please daddy I need you. I need you inside me,” Mr. J growled at your attempt wanting to tease you further. He let the tip of his dick enter you.

     “Come on doll, you can do better than that,” He kissed down your chest biting your sensitive skin leaving marks. 

     “Come on daddy, please fuck me? I want to scream your name. I want everyone to know I am yours. Pleas-,” Mr. J cut you off as he thrusted inside you suddenly making you cry out. He gave you no time to adjust as he pulled your hips downwards impaling you on his dick. You loved the way he filled you up and soon your hips were moving on their own. Mr. J chuckled at your enthusiasm. 

     “Thats right, show daddy what a little slut you are.” You moaned loudly at his taunting wanting more from him. 

      “Only for you daddy,” you purred wrapping your arms around Mr. J pushing his face into your breasts. Mr. J took one of your nipples into his mouth and sucked. You threw your head back in pleasure as Mr. J marked your skin. 

     “Please fuck me harder daddy,” you almost screamed. You could feel Mr. J grow inside you as he flipped your position suddenly picking up the pace. He thrusted all the way inside you and pulled almost completely out of you before shoving his dick back into you. You could feel your orgasm approach as he lifted your hips closer to him giving him the space to slap your ass hard. 

     “Cum for me now kitten,” Mr. J growled from behind you. You came almost instantly hearing his command. He stopped suddenly feeling your walls tighten around him and came inside you. He collapsed on top of you breathing heavily. You kissed up Mr. J’s jaw wanting to be closer to him if that was even possible. He growled in annoyance as he suddenly picked you up off the couch and threw you over his shoulder. He continued to walk up the stairs until he reached the bedroom. He threw you on to the unmade bed and collapsed next to you. You smiled seeing how tired Mr. J was. You pulled up the blankets so the could cover both of you. You turned away from Mr. J and started to drift into your dreams. 

     Just before you completely gave into sleep you felt Mr. J’s arms wrap around you from behind. 

     “Goodnight doll.” Mr. J whispered as you both fell asleep. 

For the days I feel loveless I like to imagine
that there are two of me: one smart, one pretty
and the divide between sixteen and eighteen is so sizable
that I’ve started seeing myself as nothing more
than a chasm. My old friends think I’m a whore now,
but my new friends are bored
and I am trying to run both races. Who says I can’t wear
pink lace dresses to hardcore shows? Who says I can’t know
Plato intimately, and still be pretty? My stomach
is making me chose, and I empty everything out
on Saturday nights in the dim light of the bathroom
of a bar I would have run from a year ago. They say you don’t know
anything about yourself until you’re older. When I’m lonely
I decide that no one can love both halves of me.
I imagine killing one, or else splitting down the middle
and letting each half live a little. I know a double life
isn’t good for anybody. My mother won’t love me
anymore if I give in to the wild one. And I could drop
out of school, drop acid in a graveyard and call you
crazy. I could be lazy forever, or write a book of poetry
about all the things that keep the universe glued shut.
Maybe there are separate worlds inside all of us,
but my body is a bomb shelter and I am starting to feel
the strain.
—  The Art of Being All Things - Hannah Beth Ragland 

Happy New Year from Bushwick!

“Come on, Kurt, you can’t tell me you don’t have any resolutions. I’m talking to the man who has a bucket list with over a hundred and fifty things on it.”

Kurt just grins, taking another sip of champagne as he watches Blaine. "Let’s make a list together,“ he suddenly says, and Blaine blinks.

"You mean, like, write it down?”

“No, just tell me. Give me one resolution, and I’ll give you one back.”

Keep reading