My Name is CalvaryKnight, nice to meet you all
If we met 5 minutes ago or 5 months ago, this is a little information about me, as an Artist, Christian, Person… So it would help to share, so I can see all of my old friends, meet new ones, or if you just enjoy my art, so here we go, a little about me:
My name is Tony, I am a Christian, (I will talk about that more later) I am a mix of Navajo, White, and Mexican… Strange combo I know ^u^
I am 6′4″ (roughly 193cm - 194cm) wear mostly dark clothes because I think they look nice and yes, my hair is just like how I draw it, I get many many comments on it XD, it is very fluffy. And takes lot’s and lot’s of hairspray heheh
In summary, I grew up in a rough neighborhood as a child. Gang violence, and well… just not a place for someone who wants to Love God haha… My entire family was inclined to artistic ability, creating patterns, creating pictures so realistic, they looked like grey-scaled filters on photographs.
The best artists were my Two oldest brothers… They were Tall, Strong, Very popular, very kind, loving… and their art… their art was incredible… Drawing mech’s at 12, and perfect self portraits at 20… they were inspiring.
In short, my family was destroyed at the loss… of both of them. One died a Hero, Giving His life to protect a friend, the other killed standing up for what’s right.
My family destroyed, distraught, and me caught in the middle. In this time, My Father, my little brothers and I became Homeless… living in a car, living in a homeless shelter and other places… But there was my Dad… praying everyday, with a smile on His face… I was confused… in pain.
But… I couldn’t feel a thing… People saw me smile, saw me laugh, but it was just a show, with everything I had gone through I was a child with a broken spirit. I was putting on a show to pretend… I forgot how to feel, how to care, how to… Love.
But God did a good work… He saved us from where we were… we did not go hungry. I should be dead… that is the truth, but God chose to hold us, protect us… My Dad, never doubted… that’s why He would smile… He wasn’t just asking God to save us, He was thanking God because He KNEW God would.
“So you trusted God since then right? That was such an amazing thing He had done, so you lived for Him then on right?” …No… Sadly.
It took me a very, very, very long time to see the light that shined in my life…Even after going through all of this, I still just saw God as the one my dad believed in… and the truth is… and it breaks my heart to say this but…
I didn’t learn how to truly care for people, love people, and know people, know my emotions… until just a few months ago. Which is a reason I left… Don’t get me wrong, I knew how to say the right words, how to make people feel nice, loved, cared for… but in my Heart it was not real.
But I am only now truly, caring for people, with my whole heart… not a mask… not a trick… I care about people, and love them… in a real way… and I never want to stop.
Now with my Family in ruins, The artistic lights in my life Gone, the greatest artists I’ve ever known, the brothers who raised me… gone… I lost any ambition I could have had… ~~~~~~~
I wanted to try, at least a little… I picked up a DSI, and doodled, not good art, but that’s where… That’s where I found my inspiration.
My inspiration, showing me that there was hope, and good things that can be done with art, if something so amazing could stick around me, even though I had no skills…Even if my brothers are gone, in me, How much more could I create? That’s when I really gave it a shot, and went from stick figures to realistic art in around a year… my inspiration came and went, showing me what I could do, if I believed my art had purpose.
My inspiration was important, but… if the inspiration was just for me, and had nothing to do with God, I couldn’t keep it… That’s the truth, because God has great plans for me and my life. With Him, I became a Counselor, a youth teacher and a Church leader in short time…
Not long ago, my inspiration led me to tumblr, and I loved it, even if I disagree with, certain views people hold… I want to be a friend, and care nonetheless… I grew closer and closer to my inspiration, growing my skills, my heart… and yet also growing my weakness as I learned…
Then… I lost my inspiration, no matter how much I hurt, tried and called out… my inspiration was lost. As I felt lost as well… That’s when it happened…
God showed me, He took away a gift I wasn’t ready for. This inspiration was His blessing, and I didn’t work with it right… I was selfish…
That’s when I realized, I needed to be real, who God wanted me to be, and when I realized that, when I stopped trying to fight God and get MY way… He gave me, and those around me so much more than I could imagine…
He gave me life, hope, and finally, after years, and years, of waiting and wondering… He showed me what caring about people really was, really caring, really loving, not selfishly. So that’s why I am back. Because I want to be the friend, the… Tony I should have been…
Did I get my inspiration back? Well, no not really… my inspiration is out there, and I call to it everyday, but… I am not worried anymore, I know when the time is right, this time… I will be ready, and I will be the best I can be!
So that’s my story so far, at least in summary, there is many things I left out, but hey one day maybe heheh, Thanks for reading!
I would like to give a special shout out to people who have inspired me here, and were a huge reason I came back:
I want to thank all of you reading, but these friends in particular, really inspired me, with their art first, and then with their friendship… Please show them some Love they really deserve it ^u^