this should work on any youtube video with the right adjustments

Insomnia

Summary: Virgil can’t sleep. 

CW: Some mild cursing, descriptions of insomnia, character lashing out

Pairing: LAMPT/Polyamsanders + Thomas (Platonic or romantic)

Virgil couldn’t sleep. 

He tried. But every time he closed his eyes, his whole body felt like it was buzzing, and his mind began to hiss urgently at him, insisting you’re forgetting something, you’re doing something wrong, something’s bad, something’s off, something’s wrong wrong wrong so after an hour he gave it up as a lost cause and spent the night scrolling through tumblr and reddit. 

He was tired the next day but it was nothing a couple cups of coffee couldn’t fix. 

*

He couldn’t sleep the next night either. 

The same thoughts that haunted him the night before continued to circle, and a day of too much caffeine and not enough sleep had amplified them. He didn’t even try sleeping. He stayed up and listened to music while reading reviews of old movies online. 

It wasn’t that big a deal. He’d gone a longer than this without sleep before. 

When morning came, he layered his eye shadow on a bit thicker to hide the exhausted shadows and put eye drops in his eyes to cut down on the redness. It helped. 

A little. 

Keep reading

some general tips for people with executive dysfunction

1. invest in a can of dry shampoo!!! they’re not particularly expensive (mine is batiste brand, i got it for $8).  showering a lot can suck for low energy people, esp people who are trying to get their hair to adjust to getting washed less offten (hair gets oily very quickly after long periods of being washed every day) and this can save lot of time while also making you feel clean!! 

2. BANANAS ARE A GODSEND. i get very sick in the morning, and im also perpetually low on energy, which usually makes me opt out of breakfast. but bananas are quick, easy, filling, and (fun fact) make you less nauseous somehow? idk. they’re great. if you never eat breakfast like me, try to start buying bananas more often as its a really good backup 

(this one’s kind of big so ill break it down so its easier to read) 

3. clean stuff as soon as possible rather than waiting for it to build up. it doesn’t have to be huge, time consuming tasks. just small steps to save yourself from some stress in the future. 

  • pick up clothes from the floor the second you take it off and put it in the washing machine. you don’t have to turn it on or do the washing now, but now its off your floor which is great!
  • throw stuff in the trash can the first time around instead of having it pile up. take empty cups/plates into the kitchen right away (you can go around the house, or even just your room and pick up dishes whenever you need to take a break from working or studying)
  • quickly do your bed first thing!! it doesn’t have to be extremely neat, honestly just dust off your covers, fold it at the foot of your bed and fluff your pillows a bit!! it took a minute but now your room looks a lot cleaner!

4. break up everything into small tasks/create routines that are very specific! my example will be showering.

  • when i shower, i break it up into very very specific parts. the first thing, probably the hardest, is getting myself in the shower. focusing on how showering is not a stressful activity, how it feels good and how good you feel after can definitely minimize the amount of time i spend psyching myself to get up, as overtime the idea of showering becomes an intrinsic part of your day rather than a task or chore. 
  • after i get myself in, the hardest part’s done, and i can relax. i do my routine, which at this point, has become a no brainer. my routine is: shampoo, conditioner (but i dont wash it out), body wash/soap, face wash, brushing my teeth (yes i brush my teeth in the shower fuck off two birds with one stone), and then finally i wash the conditioner out! this is weird but if im done extra quickly, i’ll let myself just stand there until the water runs cold bc idk i really like showering?? 

starting a new routine is always difficult but just stick with it. you can start introducing a routine one task at a time, you can remember to just wash your hair and then get out if thats all the energy you have today. and dont be ashamed about music in the shower!!! i played music on my phone in the shower every day for a year maybe? ive stopped now bc my last phone’s headphone port broke bc of water damage but anyway thats not relevant 

5. keeping a calendar and planner is great in feeling good and organized. you dont have to get a super expensive bullet journal, just start small. i got my current calendar as a christmas gift (theres food puns every month i love it) and my school provides planners. dont feel obligated to use it EVERY DAY and constantly have the best handwriting. just keep it on your desk in class and at home for whenever you need it

6. music and podcasts are good for any time. waking up but feeling super anxious and you dont want to get up? music/podcasts drown out your thoughts and can help you start your day in a nice way. studying and feeling really bored and annoyed?? listen to your favorite songs. trying to go to sleep but your annoying brain wont shut up? nice chill podcasts, or even just longish youtube videos help. 

  • music (especially instrumental music) is best for when you need to think and focus on a task. podcasts are good for menial tasks that dont require you to think that much, as podcasts are more engaging and have you focus on something so you feel less bored/procrastinatey!!! 
  • my favorite songs to listen to when studying are actually playlists ive made! (here and here) and my podcast/video recommendations are off topic and grumpcasts/long game grumps videos, but i understand that this isnt for everyone (cw: lots of swearing, dark humor, stupid casual racism/sexism/transphobia/ableism but its just something i put up with bc i really like michael jones)

i can’t really think of anything else right now!! these are just all the things i do that actually do help a lot

i see lots of sentiment in the studyblr community that basically says “your future self wont be pleased with your pathetic excuses right now :)” and stuff like that and just…please remember that executive dysfunction is never “just an excuse”, it is a legitimate reason for not being able to complete tasks. feeling frustrated with yourself is normal, but you should never be made to feel guilty for not being able to do something, no matter how menial or how crucial. you’re great and you can do this <3

TOP TEN IOS APPS by bree celestudials 

like many other students, i use my iphone for many purposes, including studying! a few of the apps i’m going to recommend here are classics, but most are more obscure to avoid giving repetitive information. all of them help me cope better with daily life, academic or otherwise. listed with their names and a description of their function. every app is free!

google calendar, google docs, & google drive

condensed to one point because they really go hand in hand, google’s organizational apps are a must-have for any student. syncing across multiple devices, with convenient organizational categories, they are most effective when used together.

discord

my favorite method of communication, discord is a chat app that far outstrips skype. it has text chat, voice call, and a video calling function is in beta right now. it has custom roles and emojis, and server management and nicknaming is much easier than ever before. despite being advertised as “chat for gamers,” it’s really for everyone!

duolingo

this studyblr staple is a great tool for on-the-go language learning. it partners with the duolingo website, and offers a vast variety of languages with customized learning paths. quiz yourself on the bus, or study during lunch: duolingo is here!

paper by 53

paper is a note-taking alternative for the creative mind; it has a word processing function, and it also offers a digital sketchpad. if you want to switch fast between doodling and writing, i recommend paper.

viridi

a classic calming app, viridi is a game where the player cultivates a bowl full of succulents in more or less real time. it’s always calming for me to check in on my plants and water them, but be warned that just like real succulents, they can die! nevertheless, i recommend viridi to anyone with anxiety or a busy schedule; it’s a quiet, meditative space that gives you room to breathe.

playmoss

a great music app for making playlists. it doesn’t host all youtube videos, but it allows you to do custom playlist cover art and titles, and it has free unlimited listening (unlike 8tracks). i’m celestudial on there; come say hi!

onenote

this app works in conjunction with onenote on windows, and is a great word processor and place to take notes. it does autocapitalize, which i’ve found to be somewhat annoying, but other than that its function is pretty much flawless!

VSCO

VSCO is a popular studyblr app; it’s a photo editor that produces crisp, professional images. use it to adjust your studyspo pictures to your liking, or to filter a selfie! it has many potential uses, especially for the artistically inclined.

i love fur

this one’s a little different: it’s a game app where you have to play with different textures of touch-sensitive fur. i find it very engaging and soothing, and it’s very helpful for my sensory issues.

clue (period tracker)

clue is a period tracking app, one of the more discreet that i’ve seen around. it allows you to keep track of your cycle, warns you when your next period should be coming, and it isn’t covered in pink and gendered symbolism for those of you (like me!) who have periods but aren’t female.


that’s all! if there are issues with any of these, my inbox is open. if this helped you, please let me know/tag me in a post. here are my other masterposts; go forth and achieve!

The Intern


Today was the day. It was your first day interning with BigHit so you could bulk up your college applications. You were so excited that you got in to the prestigious scheme. On the way in, all the other interns and yourself included had been talking about how cool it would be if you were assigned to shadow staff from one of their groups. Of course, BTS was on everybody’s minds since who wouldn’t want to be in the same space as them. You all knew it was highly unlikely, since most of you were 17 and right in their fan range. 

You’d probably freak too. 

“Doesn’t Yoongi look amazing there?” Sin-ho, a girl you had met on the way in looked up dreamily at the poster of Min Yoongi, one of the main rappers. He did look amazing, and you couldn’t help the smile form on your face.

“Right, welcome to BigHit Entertainment. This is our second year hiring interns and we’re pleased to offer the opportunity again to the producers and business executives of tomorrow.” A strict looking lady dressed in a grey suit bellowed as you all gathered in a line.

You counted how many of you there were, 6. Wow, to think that out of– 

“6! There are 6 of you who made it here, out of the 600 applications we received. We’ve chosen you because we think you all seem like the most professional, intelligent, well behaved and opportunistic from all applications we received.” You couldn’t hide a smirk creeping up on your face. They chose 6 interns this year because last year, 15 of the 35 that ended up here left work early to hunt down BTS even though they were on tour. From inside sources, it was a nightmare. 

“Let’s lay some ground rules first. 1. Remain respectful at all times. 2. Don’t stray where you’re not suppose to. There will be consequences. 3. Respect the privacy requests of our artists. This means, no fan requests, no taking pictures and absolutely no inappropriateness. “ 

Damn, you thought. You had hoped you could at least get some autographs signed. You reminded yourself you were here for business, it was laced all over your application which is probably why they chose you. You hadn’t mentioned your adoration for BTS at all. 

“Now, I’m going to assign you to your teams. Y/N, Sin-ho and Eun will be working with makeup team 1 in room 2.34…” You listened carefully to be disappointed. 

Make up? 

Did they chose you because your eyeliner was mostly always on point? You wanted to see some real action, how profits grow, accounts rise and heck even seeing what PR do would be cool. But, make-up seriously? It was difficult to hide the disappointment from your face. What was even weirder was that you glanced to Eun and Sin-ho, who looked like they’d just won the lottery. Their eyes were beaming. 

For a guy who looked super masculine too, you were confused by Eun who looked excited. 

Sin ho shot you a smile that couldn’t contain itself, which was a contrast against your sadness. 

The grey suit lady left after giving the other 3 the PR department which you envied, you had now labelled her the  glass ceiling conformer since she assigned you to something so petty. The others were all guys too, and they got PR!

You tried to tell yourself experience was experience, but cleaning make-up brushes. Yeah, that’ll help me doing accounts in college. Bitch. You thought.

“Why are you so sad?! Don’t you know what this means?” Eun practically screamed as you guys started walking to find the room.

“Talking for hours about shades of concealer? I watch youtube tutorials for that.” You said in defeat. 


Sin ho laughed. 

“You really don’t know what this means do you?” 

Your eyes were nearly popping out, because hell- you didn’t. You couldn’t understand how these guys would be so excited to clean makeup brushes.

“The makeup team get to follow BTS around all day. This is what it means!” 

Oh

“I GET TO TOUCH JIMIN’S FACE. THOSE CHEEKS. OH MY GOD.” Sin ho was hyperventilating. 

“Boy, you must have really made it sound like you hate the guys in the application and interview. I thought they had a strict no fan girl hiring policy.” Eun said, adjusting his bow tie. 

“Pfft, I have my ways.” Sin-ho replied. 

“You better not fangirl in front of them, you’ll be out in an instant.” You reminded her, as glass ceiling conformer had made really clear in her speech. 

Inside though, you probably had to control yourself. You had to remind them they were just normal guy–

Eun found the door and knocked. 

Shit, you weren’t ready. 

“Interns! Come in!” A lady pulled you all into a room with mirrors and dressing tables, MAC would be proud looking at the display. 

“Welcome! Ah, don’t they look cute? How old are you all? My my my, these two are beauties!” The plump woman said, pinching your cheeks and Sin- Ho’s. 

You followed convention and said it would be an honour to work under her, and she said there was no need for such formalities. 

“Are you girls fans of BTS?” She asked. Before we could reply, another woman came in. 

“For your internship, don’t be. The least we need is fangirls ruining their privacy. Give me your phones.” The slender woman was dressed in a pinstripe dress and held her hand out. 

You obliged with the others, even though you were furious inside to hand over your phone. 

“You. How tight is your shirt?” The pinstripe woman asked, to which you gave her a confused look. What sort of question was that?

“Why, is it bad?” You couldn’t help but say. This was a standard shirt. Fashionable, cute, sure- I guess some might say sexy if they were perverted. 

“We don’t want anyone to look like they’re here to seduce the boys.” She stated blutly. You nearly choked. 

Gosh, what was up with these people?! 

“I’m sorry, I’ll wear something more loose fitting tomorrow.” You bowed your head in embarrassment. 

“And you. That dress just won’t do. Come with me.” The woman said to Sin-Ho, whose mouth looked like it would land on the floor. What kind of shit was this? Sin-Ho’s dress was business cute. 

“What about Eun? His bow ties too sexy.” You blurted, to which you instantly regretted. Eun got your joke, as he smiled. 

“Good thing there aren’t any girl groups here.” She said, before taking Sin- Ho away to change. 

“And such disrespect has earned you an extra task you won’t find out until later today. My name is Ms. In-Dong. I am your supervisor and worst nightmare here.” She said, and walked away. 

The plump lady was much nicer. 

“Ah, so young.” She looked dreamily at us. 

“Ah, that should be the boys!” 

You heard some loud, masculine voices before they came inside. It was surreal actually seeing them, since well- your contact with them was through your laptop on weekends watching videos. 

“Ajumma! My face is so puffy today.” Jin, gosh it was so cool to hear his voice in real life, yelled before taking a seat near you. He looked at himself in the mirror and patted his face. 

“Jin’s face is always puffy.” Jimin said, that signature on his face as he took a seat and looked into the mirror. 

The rest of the boys looked tired, but they took their seats too. It took them a moment or two to clock that it wasn’t just their Ajumma in the room, but two other 17 year olds. 

“Ah, Eun can you pass me the bottle over there?” Ajumma forgot to introduce you guys, but it looked like Eun got the better end of the stick since he was actively doing something as the plump Ajumma got to work on Jin’s face. He was holding the bottle and dabbing cotton wipes every now and then to pass to Ajumma, he was probably star struck himself. 

You on the other hand, had recovered quickly. You were right at the edge, noticing how the rest of the guys were on their phones. 

“Coffee please?” Jimin asked, to which Ajumma looked at you.

“Uh, sure. What would you like?” You asked, but you couldn’t help your voice stutter because well- you were talking to Jimin. 

“Latte please, two sugars.” You quickly noted it down on the reporters notebook you had.

Before you left, you plucked up the courage to ask the others. 

“Would you guys like anything?” You asked. 

Their eyes rose up to meet yours. 

“Latte, 1 sugar. Capuccino, no sugar. Espresso, 1 shot. Americano, please.” You quickly noted down the orders. 

“Sure.” You said, and then asking Ajumma where to go. 

____________________________

After coming back with trays of coffee, the boys were now in a different room you learnt. They were practicing. 

You didn’t bother knocking since they were busy, but left the steaming trays on the table in the practicing room. Whilst you were on your way out, the boys were intently listening to their dance instructor. What you clocked though, was Jungkook looking at you as you left the room. 

He was so beautiful, you thought.

“Ah, yet so forbidden.” Sin Ho jumped out, now dressed in a more conservative top and trousers. You were glad she could keep her heels at least. 

“How’d you guess?” You asked, walking back to the makeup room. 

“Please, how could you not guess? You’ve just come out of a room with the hottest guys in Kore practicing all sweaty. I don’t need to be a genius hun.” She giggled. 

You rolled your eyes, in frustration- she was so correct. 

For the rest of the day, you had done the less exciting part of being on the make up team- washing brushes. 

“This is not Min Yoongi’s shade. How could they put this on him?” Sin Ho said, looking at a concealer stick labelled with Yoongi. 

You were bored out of your mind after you had deposited the 200th brush in the sink to soak. 

“So, is this what entails following them around?” You asked, because that would be more fun than this. 

“At least you got to see them this morning whilst the witch made me change.” 

“You. Sin- Ho. Can you hold a camera?” The glass ceiling woman asked. You were both startled, hoping she hadn’t heard Sin Ho call her a witch.

“Y-yes.” She replied.

“We need someone to hold the camera for Eat Jin. Come with me.” Glass ceiling woman said.

Sin Ho looked to Eun and you. She made an excited expression before going into professional mode. 

“Of course.” She said, getting up to follow the woman out of the room.

“I touched Jin’s face today.” Eun said, trying to mimick our wonder at the boys. 

“Stop it dude, they probably feel cool around you.” You said, pushing his arm playfully.

“They’re pretty cool. Yoongi showed me this game on his phone that he plays, we exchanged ID’s. Don’t tell Sin Ho, she’ll freak.” He winked. 

You laughed, before being interrupted by the kinder and plump makeup artist. 

“You guy’s should go for lunch. The canteen’s across the hall. Forgive me for forgetting!” She yelled, before coming in to usher you out. 

“I’m starving.” You said, noticing how you hadn’t had anything since that cereal bar and glass of orange juice for breakfast this morning. Your mother had even texted you to ask if you had eaten, but you didn’t wanna make her feel bad. 

“Adult life seems so dull.” Eun said, noticing the middle aged men pour out of a conference room.

“I’m having a party this weekend, can’t wait to get wrecked.” He said. 

“If we survive by the end of this week, count me in. Anything to numb down the boredom I have cleaning brushes right now.”

The posh canteen was largely empty, apart from to your surprise- Jungkook sitting down with his plate and on his phone. 

Eun and you got your food, but you nudged to Eun looking at Jungkook.

“Isn’t that disturbing him?” Eun asked.

“No, no one likes eating alone!” You whispered back, before taking the lead to sit down in front of him. 

“Hey man.” Eun said, smiling. 

“Hi.” He said, putting down his phone. 

“Mind if we sit here, we just didn’t want to impo-” You said, but Jungkook cut you off.

“It’s fine, I don’t like eating alone anyway. I came in to eat late since I was annoyed with not perfecting this move at practice.” He said, a shy smile on his face. 

“Wow, the food here is good.” Eun said, starting to make conversation. 

“Really? Is food at schools any better?” Jungkook asked, curious about Eun’s discovery.

“Ah, school food sucks. I can’t wait to just get out and get to college. No more surprise Wedneday.” Eun shivered, mentioning the surprise Wednesday meals everyone was familiar with. 

“They still do that? It’s been a while since I was at regular school.” Jungkook said. 

You guys then started to make small talk, and what you didn’t expect was to find out how humble and quickly Jungkook opened up to you. He was shy at first, but one meal completely made you, Eun and Jungkook actually bond. 

“I don’t get to speak to people my age much. This was a nice break. I’ll see you guys around.” Jungkook said, getting up .

You smiled and waved goodbye, to which he waved back. He was still a little shy around you though, but you could work on it.

Had you just become friends with Jeon Jungkook of BTS?

You actually had. 

That night, when your mother asked how your first day interning went, you said great. 

“Make any new friends?” She asked. 

“Omoni, I became friends with a kpop star. I think I’ve had a good day.” You said over dinner.

“Aish, is he cute?” She asked. To that you blushed, of course he was mega cute. You let the conversation flow to other things though, but safe to say- you’re new friend was in the back of your mind. 

The next few days at work saw you flit around different departments, and you enjoyed PR a lot. You also had the pleasure of bumping into Jungkook at lunch, who would tease you about your day and you would vice versa. 

“It’s Fridaaaaay.” You said, seeing him already sat down to eat. His plate was untouched, he actually waited for you. “I’m so happy for the weekend.”

“Hahaha, how fun would it be to have nothing to do on a Satuday. I, on the other hand, have to get up bright and early for comeback interviews and then a performance.” Kookie said, starting to eat his food.

“Are you performing at KBS? My friend got me tickets to see you guys.” You said. 

He smiled. “Really? Come and see me backstage.” He looked hopeful. 

“I wasn’t planning on going.” You admitted, truth be told- you just wanted to sleep and watch netflix the entire weekend after running around here at work. You also had a science paper due. 

Jungkook pouted. 

“Is this your aegyo? Gosh, I’m so offended.” You said, faking how his aegyo wasn’t the cutest thing ever. 

“I’ll go on one condition.” You said, ready to tease him.

“What?” He asked, interested.

“Take your shirt off during your performance.” You grinned.

“Isn’t that a little provocative for a little girl like you to see?” Jungkook leaned in towards the table. 

Hold up, is he flirting with me?

This was so against internee rules. 

You couldn’t help your reply though. 

“You really think I look little?” You asked, because you knew very well that Kookie had been checking you out a few times over the past few days when you came in with your coffee run for him and left them whilst they practiced. 

He bit his lip as he gwaned out his smile. 

“You do realise, taking my shirt off just wouldn’t be for you? It would be for everyone.” He said.

“Why should it be for me? I’m not with you.” You replied back. 

“I’m asking as a fan, and as a friend who’ll probably use your awkward shirt take off as some sort of payback.”

“Friends have numbers. “ He said, ignoring your last comment and taking your phone. 

He dialled in his details, before winking. 

“Come please.” He said.

“I’m technically your intern, it’s weird if anyone sees.” You said. 

He sighed in frustration. 

“I hate these rules.” He sighed again, leaning back to get his head together before getting up. 

“I’ll be in the crowd.” You said, “save the VIP meet Jungkook thing after I finish interning.” 

“Don’t finish, whose gonna keep me company on my lonely lunch?” He pouted, which seriously ruined you.

So your friendship with Jungkook became much, much more friendly. You were now texting at work, he was at one end of the building and you were at another. You were texting when you were home, sending memes to each other and everyone tried to tease you about the constant smile on your face. 

Jungkook: Coffee please. 

Y/N: Now? I’ve nearly finished work Kookie. 

Jungkook: Kookie? I’m an oppa to you little girl, an oppa who needs coffee to get me through this recording session. You still have 5 minutes. 

Y/N: You know my time schedule? Stalker. 

Jungkook: COFFEEEEEEE, DONUTS, CREAM, Oh please get me a muffin.

Y/N: Didn’t you complain about how your scientific workouts were suffering as a result of my amazing cupcakes I brought in the other day? Now you want muffins?

Jungkook: Just see me before you leave, little girl. Coffee in hand or else you’re not leaving till me. 

You sighed, Jungkook left at a crazy time. That meant you could do, because he’d probably complain to glass ceiling woman and make you stay. 

What you didn’t expect to see in the coffee room was a flustered looking Sin Ho, and Min Yoongi? What the-

Did they have-, no, they coulnd’t have. You were surprised. 

“Hi. Y/N, coffee?’ She asked, putting her, oh my god freshly fucked looking hair into a neat pony tail. 

You looked at Yoongi, cool and calm guy couldn’t control his shock you had come in. 

“I didn’t know you drunk coffee so late.” Sin Ho said.

“I don’t, it’s for Jungkook. I’ll do it.” You said, taking over and fixing a cup of coffee and taking a muffin out of the cupboard. 

“I’ll keep quiet.” You whispered in her ear, before taking a quick glance at Yoongi and walking out. 

Did they seriously just have sex in the coffee room? Whilst you were making friends with Kookie, Sin Ho was clearly doing something of her own. 

You shivered. 

The recording room was empty apart from Kookie sitting there, writing.

“Coffee and a muffin. Now I’d really like to go home…” 

“Sit down Y/N. You haven’t spoken to me since lunch.” Kookie dragged you down. 

“I will, if you write me a song.” You said, teasing. 

“Is this just because I’m an idol! You wouldn’t ask one of your 17 year old buddies this!” 

You pouted in return, “but you’re not like them”. 

“I’m better, right?”

You rolled your eyes nodding. 

“I have a date tomorrow though, so you can’t keep on asking for coffee right before I leave.” You warned, remembering you’d been set up. 

Jungkook looked at you cocking his head. 

“Date?” 

“What kind of date?” He asked, eyes piercing into you.

“A hot one I hope.” You replied, noticing his sudden change of personality.

“How old is he?” He asked, sticking his tongue into his check.

“I don’t know, probably my age.” You said, kinda disappointed. You were more mature for 17, so an 18 year old date would probably be fun for you. 

Jungkook was silent for a bit.

“What do you want to happen at this date?” He asked.

You laughed. “Kookie, you want me to tell you how I plan to seduce a guy?” 

Kookie raised his eyebrows.

“Seduction from a little girl like you shouldn’t be happening.”He stated as-a-matter-of-fact.

“I’m great at seduction actually, for a ‘little girl’.” You mimicked his words, noting his eyes darkening.

This was weird, an interesting new development. He put his hands together and smiled. 

“Why don’t you practice on me?” He asked, challenging you. 

“I’m doing it now, aren’t I?” You challenged back, biting your lip. 

“Clever girl. You’ve been secretly seducing me for a while. Don’t think I haven’t noticed…” He said.

You laughed, body on edge as you straightened your posture.

“Like what?” You now batted your eyelids. 

“Cute skirts showing off your legs, tight shirts, lip biting, dark and twisty moments when you just stare into space- you’d get an A if you studied a class on seduction.” Kookie said. 

You were faltering, because his voice now sounded like honey. 

Kookie got up and took a step towards you, putting his arms around your chair and leaning down.

“I think we’ve been friends for a while now, don’t you?” He said into your ears.

You bit your lip out of habit this time, unsure of if this was going to a place you wanted. 

You looked down to see a bulge gorging out of Jungkook’s tight trousers. 

“Need h-help?” You timidly blurted, because your throat was now dry with need and your body was on edge.

Jungkook smirked. 

“Don’t go out on that date tomorrow and you can help me.” He said.

“Jeon Jungkook, you can’t hide me from other men.” You said. 

Jungkook smiled cockily again.

“What If I want to? What If I don’t want you batting your eyelashes at anyone else but me?” He teased, taking you arms up and pushing you towards a wall. 

You were blushing furiously, because his words crept up on you like a soft caress. 

“Friends don’t do that Jungkook.” You said, your reply was breathy and hot. 

“Go on that date tomorrow and we won’t be friends anymore. Don’t go out on that date, and we certainly won’t be friends. You’ll be with me.” He said, burning his eyes into you. 

“I don’t want to be friends with you Y/N. Not anymore. I can’t stand the thought of you with someone else.” 

“I want you to be mine.” Jungkook took your hands and placed him by his chest, and you leaned in naturally. His eyes bore into yours, and the tension between your bodies was rising with each moment. 

“It’s against the rules.” You tried to stay firm, remembering what you saw with in the coffee room.

“No one has to know until your internship finishes. It’s our secret.” He said, eyes pleading.

“Okay.” You said, releasing the lip you had been biting all this time.

Jungkook let you go before he said he’d lose control and make you both do something you regretted. You cancelled your blind date that evening and tried to get your head around what had happened. You knew you liked Jungkook, hell, really liked him. Throughout this internship, you picked up on his likes and dislikes, hopes, dreams, whatever- there was some way that both of you just meshed. Really well. 

You noticed how shy he was around other people, but with you- it was like he just got you. There was even a limit to being comfortable with Eun, and at first- you were within that limit but then he grew out of it. 

The next day, work continued and you barely had a chance to see Jungkook apart from lunch, where the atmosphere was sensually tense. His smiles were laced with suggestiveness, jokes were flirty-dirty and you were treated like a girlfriend. Light touches, laughs, a peck on the cheek that left you dizzy. 

Were, you- Jungkook’s girlfriend? 

Later that evening, as expected- you made your way into the recording room to meet up with Jungkook. To your surprise, there was a picnic rug and flowers and tea lights.

“I’m sorry we can’t go out out, so I thought I’d bring out here.” He smiled, taking you to sit down on the rug. 

Your heart nearly melted. 

“No ones done this for me before.” You said. Well, you were 17 and the most your dates had done were driven you around the city. Jungkook carefully planned this all out, on top of his mad schedule. 

This was thoughtful.

“You clearly haven’t had a boyfriend as amazing as me.” Jungkook said, opening up a picnic basket. 

“Thank you.” You said, and Jungkook shut you up with a kiss. 

“If you’re my girlfriend, you do realise this is going to be a basic thing. This is standard.” Kookie said, popping a grape in his mouth. 

You laughed.

“I didn’t know I hurt your pride.” 

“Jeon Jungkook’s girlfriend deserves the best.” He smiled at you. It was that smile you fell for the first time you saw him. 

“I’m not too young for you oppa?” You teased, noticing how he hadn’t called you little girl today.

Jungkook’s demeanour suddenly changed. 

“Oppa…” He drawled.

“Oppa really wants you to sit on his lap.” He said, cocking his head to one side. 

You played along, and crawled over to him until you were sat on his lap. Gosh, his thighs were glorious.

Jungkook’s eyes burned into yours, and you met him leaning in. A heated kiss turned out into a full blown body session, where your clothes and Jungkook’s were getting in the way of what was now edging onto something much more sensual. 

“Fuck”. Jungkook said, noticing how his control of your hips had you grinding your self back and forth on them.

“Oops, looks like we have a little problem.” You said.

“Little?” Jungkook cocked his head, pushing himself up against you. 

“Okay, big.” You said back, noticing how delicious the friction was.

“Baby, let’s stop for tonight.” He said, because it would take some time before you were fully ready. Inside he knew that you were 17, and that taking a step too far would be bad. 

“Why? We’re doing great.” You said, trying to resume your actions. 

“We are. But I’m older here, and I need to control myself for both our sakes. This stuff isn’t kids play, we both need to be ready. When do you turn 18?” Jungkook asked. 

You sighed.

“It’s just a number.” 

“But I care.” He shot back.

“May. Does this mean you’re not going to touch me?” You sighed in frustration.

“I will, just not in the way you want. This is my limit.” 

You were annoyed beyond belief, but you knew Jungkook was doing it because he thought it was the right and responsible thing to do. You coulnd’t help but frown though.

“Don’t worry, you won’t be able to walk for a week after you turn 18.” He whispered in your ear. 

You blushed furiously. 

“Now, let’s just be a good couple, okay?” 

You nodded. It was the start of something new, which you were excited about and nervous. You were going against the rules, but it felt worth it knowing that you’d get Jungkook at the end. 

From there, in a dimly lit recording studio- you and Jeon Jungkook started a beautiful story. It was your first date, and it was one that you’d tell him about a year later, and a year after that. 

Your relationship had only just begun. 

AN: This was so fun to write, I just love Jungkook here. He’s such a bias wrecker. Thanks for the request anon! 

5 Things to Know Before You Learn ASL

So as I’m coming up on my one year mark of beginning to learn ASL and being in my local ITP for a year too. I thought that I’d make a little post to help out those who are maybe considering about wanting to learn ASL or are thinking about becoming an interpreter. 

NOTE: I am hearing, and this whole post is from a hearing interpreting student’s perspective. If you have any disagreements, comments, concerns, things to add, please feel free to inbox/message me and let me know what you think. If you’re a Deaf/HoH person and feel that I shouldn’t be making this post, tell me why and I’ll delete this immediately if you feel that I’m overstepping my boundaries. 

  1.  Why you are learning the language

Before you start any type of program or look up anything related to ASL, you need to know why exactly you are learning or want to learn ASL. Is your child deaf? Do you want to communicate with some Deaf in-laws or family members? Do you work with Deaf people and want to talk to them or make them feel included? Maybe you want to become an interpreter?

Or do you just want to post ASL music videos on YouTube and get popular and gain thousands/millions of subscribers. Or maybe you only wanna learn the curse words so that you can curse at a person without them know what you’re saying. Or you’re thinkng “Oh, having ASL as a second/third language on my resume will bump me up the list when I’m looking for a job.” Or you’re wanting to learn it because “it looks cool”. Let me tell you right now, if you have any intentions of learning ASL and you don’t plan on talking to Deaf people or using your knowledge of the language with Deaf people then you are not doing it for the right reasons. ASL is not there for your convenience to just dilly dally around with. That is someone’s language and part of someone’s culture that you are dealing with. And you need to respect that. 

      2.   ASL is not signed/mimed English

I can not tell you how many times I’ve had to explain this to people at this point. American Sign Language is it’s own language with it’s own grammar and syntax. ASL is not word-for-word signed English. There is not a sign for every English word and vice versa. There are vernaculars of ASL that are more similar to English (SEE and PSE), but they’re not often used in the Deaf community. There is no universal sign language, not all Deaf people sign the same language. Miming/pantomiming is not ASL, in fact miming has absolutely no correlation to sign language whatsoever. ASL is a beautiful visual language and it deserves better than just being minimized to a label of “signed/mimed English”. 

      3.   With ASL comes Deaf culture

As with learning any language, you also learn about the culture that ties into it. For example, Deaf people sort of condemn the term “hearing impaired” because it sounds like they’re broken, when they’re not. I didn’t know that most Deaf people preferred the term “Deaf” or “Hard of Hearing” until my ASL I teacher told me that my second week into school. So that way, when you are in a setting where you’re with a lot of Deaf people, you don’t stick out too much by acting like a hearie or offend anyone. Also, don’t be disrespectful when learning more about the Deaf community. Don’t laugh or jeer or make fun of anything that you might learn, that’s rude. You might actually be surprised with what you learn. 

      4.   Be adventurous 

If you do enroll in an interpreting program, your professors/teachers will likely require you to go to some Deaf events. And if you are just starting out, the thought of going to places full of deaf people and signing after you’ve only been learning for a couple of months is terrifying. I know. Just know, that when you do go to Deaf events, whether they be coffee chats, silent lunches/dinners, don’t be afraid to talk to people. You’re not gonna get very much practice or learn anything if you’re sitting over in a corner just watching everyone else sign. You learn better by being in a practical environment. Also, don’t be scared of talking to Deaf people. 95% of the time they are very glad you’re making an effort to learn ASL and they are very willing and patient with you if you’re just starting out (although you do get the occasional bad apple). If it helps any, go with a group of friends. It’ll ease your nerves knowing that there’s a few people at your level around you. Just takes some chances, it’ll help you in the best way possible. 

      5.   IT WILL BE HARD WORK

Just like any goal that you want to achieve, the road there will require hard work. If you are serious enough about learning the language, then you should know that it will take some time to learn well enough. If you’re willing to work and study hard to learn, then you’ll be just fine. I’ve had a lot of cramped hands, late nights, and tears over the past year, but I love ASL and the Deaf community that I’m near and that motivates me to learn more and practice more because I absolutely love signing. Now, I’m nowhere near fluent because like I said, I’ve only been learning ASL for close to a year. My fingerspelling is still a little slow, my receptive fingerspelling is even slower, and my sentence structure need some work. But I’m gonna keep working at it because I love this language. You know what they say, “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” Well, the same goes for language fluency. It can’t be achieved in a day, or a week, or even a month. It takes time, everyone learns at a different pace. It’s just adjusting that pace to your speed. 


Okay, so those are 5 things that I think that everyone should know before they consider learning ASL. Like I said before I started, if you have any comments, questions, concerns, complaints, etc. please inbox or message me and I’ll be happy to respond to your inquiries. 

Get Out (4)

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader x Jimin

Summary: Every time you look at Yoongi, he would always catch your eye and grimace with disgust flashing in his eyes. Never in your entire life have you felt so victimized, and once you get partnered up with him for your art history project, you’re determined to reveal the reason behind this irrational disliking.

Genre: romance, angst, light smut, classmate!yoongi, fwb!jimin

Parts: one | two | three | four | five

Word Count: 9.8k

Warnings: light smut and extreme angst


Yoongi doesn’t see you for two whole days, and it’s killing him. No communication, no encounters, nothing. The only thing that helps him sleep at night is when he looks through your photos on social media and totally denying that it’s creepy to do that. But what else can he do? The caged soul inside him really wants to see you. He’s even sent several texts to you, but he assumes that you need time to think through what happened the other night and reorganize your feelings.

Keep reading

170504 Baekhyun’s birthday party, full translation (in progress)

* Last updated 171203 4pm KST. I’ve attempted to translate all of Baekhyun’s dialogue during the party, as much as can be gathered from various voice files.

* If you take any part of this anywhere else, please be sure to cite me by this link, or by my twitter handle (@wildhoney_b) at least. Since I’m continuously editing and adding, I would appreciate it if you would link directly to this post instead of just copypasting or screencapping =)


- - - - - - - - - -


(Enter Baekhyun)

Hi! 

Long time no see. Do you guys know what day it is today? It’s the day we do the Kyoong-day party, right?

I just got back from a flight, and I also did some exercising just to look good in front of you guys—leading that busy life. But I’ve missed you guys, so again, just like last year, I decided to have a Kyoong-day party.

I notice we had a lot of people come. Next time, we need to do this in the Gymnastics Hall or something [big Korean concert venue]! But still, isn’t it nicer to see each other up closer, like this? I heard that the competition was super high for tickets among you fans. I had some acquaintances of mine ask me if they could attend the Kyoong-day party too, but hey, it shouldn’t be that way, right? (Fans: Yes!) So I turned them all down.

So, should we really get started on the Kyoong-day party?

It’s my birthday today but no surprises for me here. Cake, please appear!

Cake, please appear. Hello?

(Hums wedding march.) No this isn’t it, this isn’t it! Wait wait, we’re not getting married, right? Let’s redo this. One, two! (Fans sing birthday song.)

Now I’ll make a wish…

Should I do the cutting? It looks like it’s a tough cake to cut… oh wait, it cuts just fine. I’ll just cut it this far and leave it. Sideways [eossut], you know.

Should I put on this crown? (Fans: Yes!) Since you guys are my masters today, I’ll do just as you say.

Isn’t this [crown] too small? This is way too small, I look like a jellyfish up here! I think I’ll look prettier with it off. (Fans: Awww!) No? Wait a minute. I should have put it on earlier in the waiting room. (Adjusts crown.) Is this looking…better?

Anyway you guys, today we have Bingo, and we’ve got a lot of other stuff prepared. Let’s make some sweet memories together.

Now then, please pass around the cake! Put it to one side, like this…

I’m going to sit down too now, and talk more with you guys. Folks on the second floor, can you see well? (Fans: Loud cheer.) You guys must be seeing TOO well over there. Anyway, we’re going to start the special corners we’ve prepared, one by one. We’ve worked to prepare a lot of stuff that will make you guys smile ear to ear.

The first corner is! (Clears throat.) I think a lot of you guys will want this. Q&A session! We gathered some questions in advance, and I’m going to take these sticky notes one by one and answer each question. You know how it works, right? Let’s begin.

There’s a lot of questions. Wow, hmm. The first ones are really hard. Give me a second.

First one. “How you felt when the Jamsil concert was sold out.”

First of all, it felt much like how I felt today when I was arriving for the party. I was making my way here just now, and I thought, wow, why are so many people here? That’s how I felt. And when I heard that the Jamsil concert had sold out… You know, the venue at Jamsil is pretty huge. I’d been worried whether or not we could fill the whole thing. But lo and behold, our pride, the Eris, did it, to make us feel happy… When we do concerts at large venues, we know you guys might actually be more uncomfortable, since the seats are so far from the stage. Let’s be honest, people, back when we did Gocheok Dome [another venue], you guys complained! That EXO looked the size of ants from afar! That you guys hadn’t come there to look at little ants! Right? But doing Jamsil, even if the venue doesn’t give great close-up views, it’s still a momentous event in the history of EXO and Eris, so I hope you don’t dislike it too much. We will try to make the stage as big as possible, and move around as much as we can to reach all around. (Coughs.) This must be the way merchants feel when they advertise.

Next, next question. “Hey, do you still sleep in the living room?”

Well, you know, when I did the V app live recently? That was in the living room of our dorm. But my little nook is no longer the living room, and I got a room of my own—you guys know this, right? I recently did some cleaning up, and now my room is very spacious. So I’ve been sleeping in comfort. Yup, that’s how it is.

“In ‘For You’, whose part is the humming [da da da ~]?”

You guys can’t tell? Who do you think it is? Jongdae? On the documentation, it says it’s actually me. But what happened was… I listened to the recordings myself, and I thought, how is this me? I totally heard Chen’s voice but the documents said it’s me. So the deal with that is—all three of us in CBX all recorded that part equally. But since Jongdae’s voice is a bit sharper, you might be hearing his voice more…is what I think. Maybe that’s just me… Should we move on? Anyway, according to the parts division sheet, it’s me. Okay?

Hmm. These questions are really difficult.

“Were you in the humanities or the sciences [in the Korean high school division]?”

Are you guys curious? Which do you think I was? (Fans: Humanities!) Correct. Let’s move on. I’m actually really bad at math. Yeah. I stopped at multiplication.

“What do you always do before going to sleep?”

I brush my teeth. I brush my teeth and turn on YouTube…and watch game videos, and singing videos, and also look at videos of my own self from way back until now. On nights when I can’t sleep. I’m just telling you this.

“Did you ever cry while watching ‘Moon Lovers’?”

Episode 16! I didn’t cry while watching it, since it was me doing it. But when I was practicing the script at home, I felt tears coming. But I thought, what if I cry now and I don’t have tears left for when I film? So I quickly wiped my face and thought about something else. When I was saying those lines, you know—“I can’t leave that child behind alone…”—when I was doing that, I teared up a lot. I practiced that part a lot at home alone. I hadn’t been taught anything… There was no time for acting lessons or anything, the only thing I could do was read the script, and think it through carefully on my own. But when I really got into the act, I could feel the sadness. So, on the set, all of us actually cried.

“Do you have any plans of dressing up as a girl again?”

What do you guys think? Do you want me to do it for you? Any against? No one’s against it? (Fans give varied responses.) For the time being, I don’t have plans of doing it.

So, what else are you guys curious about? Hmm.

“When you go to a café, what do you usually drink?”

These days I drink iced americano… You know, at first it’s really bitter. Some of you probably still don’t drink it, saying—why drink this stuff? But what I do is—I don’t drink it as it’s usually made, I ask them to make it really light, no matter what, to make it almost like—water that smells like coffee. That’s how I drink it. It’s better than just water, and good for you if it’s just one cup, good for fixing face bloat, so I drink it light.

So that’s that. You guys look a little tired, should we stop? (Fans: No!)

“When you feel glad you are in EXO.”

First of all, at end-of-year awards ceremonies. And…more than anything, my parents are really proud of me. The big difference between before and after debut is that when I go home, it feels…kind of different. The air is different. There’s a bit of the “oh, our son!” vibe going on… My parents were always very loving, but somehow they seem more…caring and careful, like I might break or something, that kind of atmosphere. But I always tell my parents, you guys don’t need to worry, your son is healthy and well just as he is. I reassure them like that whenever I visit.

Anyway, didn’t we get a lot of these questions done? No? I knew you guys would say that, so I’m going to do one more.

“When you go to overseas schedules, what do you do on the plane?”

Well, as for myself, whenever I get on a thing, I sleep. I always sleep in cars…And there was this one time, when was it, I think when we were going to Busan…we took the KTX [express train]. Was that Busan? (Fans: Yes.) Right? You guys all know my schedule better than me… I slept then. And I sleep on the plane. But when I was coming back from the US recently, the first thing I did was a face mask pack. Because my skin had honestly gotten really bad, because of the time difference and lack of sleep. So I did this mask pack, and decided that I’d never do that again. Because you know, on the plane, you can unfasten your seatbelt after a while and move around, right? And when people start moving around, they go to the bathroom, and on their way back, since I’m in the first row, they can see me on their way back and they all go like…[surprised face]. So, you know you’re supposed to do a pack for fifteen, maybe even twenty minutes at least, right? But on the plane, after about five minutes, I took off the mask as if I didn’t care, going “ah~”, like this, took it off and just went to sleep. I decided never to do face packs on the plane again. That happened.

“How many points do you get on bowling?”

I only recently started playing bowling. To be honest, I didn’t use to have any real hobbies. I was always staying at home, and so I began to feel like I needed to go out and do some stuff, because when I always stayed home and played computer games, I felt so much…like a little kid. I’d say to my manager hyungs, Hyung what’s up? I want to eat, I want to eat jokbal [steamed pork feet]! And so I get jokbal, and after eating I go back to my computer to play games, and then I look at the time and go “ah, I need to sleep”—that kind of life. It makes your lifestyle a bit loose. So I decided I need to go out and walk around a bit, do some sports—but as you guys know, I can’t even run well—the one thing I’m confident in is speed-walking. But these days the Idol Olympics don’t do speed-walking anymore! So I have nothing to do, so I don’t go. For archery and all that, I have no strength in my arms. Those sports feel different from just working out. 

So I was looking for something, you know, more settled down, just a peaceful sport. And it was right when Chanyeol was doing some bowling. (Mimicking Chanyeol’s voice:) “Hey Baekhyun, let’s go bowling!” “Isn’t it difficult?” “Nah, come on, I’ll teach you.” So I followed Chanyeol to the bowling alley, and there was this whole club—Chanyeol is like a pro player already. He’s got a club membership in every bowling alley, it’s pretty crazy. Anyway, when I got there, I played with a ‘house ball’—you know, the alley-owned ball instead of my own ball—and at first my fingers really hurt. So I asked, what do I need to do to play better? And Chanyeol said, you need to get your own ball. So I was like “Really?” because I wanted to play well…and also, everyone had these nice balls, and it was me alone playing with this little pink thing…and it was kinda embarrassing. I mean, I’m in a team together with Chanyeol, and he’s got all these palm protectors, and uses that weird chalkdust, and brings out his own ball and goes ‘thunk’! And my balls all just fall into the side gutters… So I bought a “my ball”, and also some protectors. I bought all this and all that. But it’s still super difficult. I’m actually more confident with pool… (Fans: “Hmm…” and laugh.) Back when I was filming that thing, that wasn’t really pool! I’m usually really good, but I must have been nervous then or something. Anyway, my bowling score is different every time, but on average I get around…70 points. Ha ha ha, yeah. My waist hurts, my arm hurts… But it’s fun. 

So if any of you have, like, no hobbies, if you just come home and wash up and sit at the computer and check what Baekhyun’s been doing…what EXO’s been up to… (Fans laugh.) …then say, “Mom, I want dinner!” and keep looking at your computer…and show your mom your screen… When your mom comes up and asks, “Ooh, who is this?” “Mom this is Baekhyun, this is EXO’s D.O., isn’t he so good looking? doesn’t he sing so well?” And your moms might say, “Sigh, if you have time for that, use it to do some more homework!” Isn’t this how it goes for you? So, in that time… Play bowling. If you make a small hobby of your own, it feels good, it relieves stress. 

Last winter, I went—with Chanyeol again—to go snowboarding. If you hang out with Chanyeol there’s just so much to do. So I learned bowling, and also snowboarding. I think I actually look pretty spiffy when I’m snowboarding. Nobody recognizes me, you know. And even though I’m frankly not really good, I get all the gear… You know they have a name for it, “gear-bugs”! (Fans laugh.) Anyway, that’s how it was. 

Have you guys gone bowling? Who knows how to do it? (A fan says yes.) What? So you were way ahead of me! Isn’t bowling fun? (Fans: Yes!) I feel like even those of you who’ve never played are saying yes… (Fans laugh.)

So one last one, for real. Hmm, so what are you guys curious about? Are you curious about Overwatch? (Fans: Yes/No.) No? Sounds like no… Some of you are saying yes and getting looks from people next to you! Or “I only know Diva [an Overwatch character]…”

“Do you prefer light-colored hair or darker hair?” Is this one okay? (Fans: Yes!) Which do YOU guys prefer? (Fans: Awww…and shouts out various things) Blonde? Both? (Fans: Yes!) Y’all are liars… I heard you first say “Darker!” and then “…Both!” (Fans laugh, Baekhyun chuckles.) See, I do monitor my own performances, and when I see myself on stage, I do feel like darker hair makes me look more sharp, and allows me to express a wider range of things. Right? (Fans: Yes.) Someone just said yes in a super pouty voice, like “Yuuus…” Should I comeback in darker hair, or lighter hair? Show of hands for darker hair!

Okay then, let’s wrap up the Q&A now… (Fans boo.) But honestly, we really got through a lot of these! Because look, among these… These other questions are like… 

“What do you think when you look in the mirror?” (Fans giggle.) What do YOU guys think of when looking in the mirror? I mean… 

“Do you still make puppy sounds when you sleep?” That kind of thing never changes, guys. When I’m super tired, I still wake myself up because of that sound I make. (Fans: Awww.) That wasn’t the reaction I was going for, but hey. 

“Your #1 recommended foodie place.” You guys curious? Do any of you guys know chogyeguksu [noodles in cold vinegar chicken broth]? You know it? There’s this really, really delicious place…I don’t know if I’m supposed to say this! There’s this place in Jayang-dong, Misari… What, you guys already know which restaurant I’m talking about? Mil… I don’t remember the full name, but it’s Misari something, Mil…Milbit? I don’t know but it’s something like that, and their chogyeguksu and their ongyejin kalguksu [thick noodles in warm chicken broth] is amazing. (Fans are quiet.) Not sure if you guys were really curious about this one… (Fans laugh and cheer.) Too late!

Okay, last question for real this time. All right. “Baekhyunee’s 2017 goals.”

Uh, all the world’s people coming together as one in peace…haha, just kidding. 

Hmm, so EXO is going to comeback soon, right. When that happens, I want to show you guys something more…perfect. Something that isn’t out of joint, but something that really sticks together, something that’s cool, sophisticated… And I always say this, but I wish I had more occasions like this, with you Eris. We do have some schedules, even when you don’t see us, since we’re always preparing something. So in a way there really isn’t much time. But as for me, I really do want to make more time [to meet]. The motivation behind this year’s Kyoong-day party, once again, is… Not because a birthday should be something huge. It’s not. It’s not like I want to have a birthday party to feel congratulated. What’s important is using this name of a birthday party to get to have this chance, to chat with you guys, to tell you guys more about myself. And that’s what I wanted to do. (Fans applaud.)

Don’t I sound like some kind of lecturer today? Anyway, that’s how it is for me.

Shall we move on to the next session corner? The next corner is…there’s something written on my prompt here… I haven’t chatted with a mic in hand for a really long time, so I was actually super nervous coming up here. What if I can’t talk well enough, what if I end up showing you guys a really awkward side of me? But now that I’ve got the mic, it actually feels fine. (Fans laugh.)

So the next corner is: “Let’s get to know Baekhyun.”

[This is up to the first 30 minutes. To be continued!]

5SOS. Decompose

Calum one shot. Let me know what you think because I don’t know what I think.


It had been such a storybook three weeks that it made him feel normal. For the first time in years, Calum felt like he might actually achieve something balanced and logical in his otherwise absurd life. You were the quiet consistent moan that drowned out the annoying buzz and brake slam that occupied his head. It wasn’t until all the noise stopped and he was left with piercing silence practically suffocating him in a size too small jacket that Calum realized that he had been right before; magic isn’t real. It doesn’t exist and that’s what makes it magic. 

He said he would pick you up when he was released from the studio, somewhere around five, but when he was standing in front of the apartment he had come to know as something of a home in the last twenty days, there was no response. He rang over and over, waited until eight, called you, texted you, and even popped into the nearby Smoothie Planet you often studied in, but you were gone. You were winning at the most anxiety-inducing game of hide and seek. 

Calum found himself paralyzed mentally for the following three days. He would physically wake up, brush his teeth, show up promptly to the studio, hit the gym, and even once hit 1Oak with Luke and Ashton. In his head though, he was stuck in those three weeks. His thumbs were grazing over your hip under the glow of morning sun bouncing off the green brick of your bedroom, his lashes were brushing against the nape of your neck as he woke to your stirring. He was still tangled somewhere in your sheets even if his body was somewhere else. 

Calum found himself running by your building in the morning and evening, any chance he could catch a glimpse of you or something he remembered would remedy his current ache. He was never a person without caution. He didn’t just dive in without checking the waters temperature before or if there was a sand bar below. How could he have drowned in someone’s perfume just to wake up to their ghost? He didn’t understand and he longed for a response. Even if you just texted him that he was an asshole or something, at least then he would know.


His brain recycled the last memory he had with you, your head on his shoulder in the shower as warm water christened your bodies and cleaned you both of the sweat you had slept in from ardent and hazy sex on the living room carpet. He asked about your day and you wished him luck in the studio. There wasn’t any indication of something going wrong. There were kisses, sneaky touches, and an almost “I love you” from him before he left thinking he would see the student who turned his August upside down in the evening. 


“You’re starting to creep people out.” Startling Calum out of his trance as he rested on a bike in front of the building, a croak of a tired voice caught his attention. The guy who lived in the apartment across from yours nodded at him once Calum’s found his moving body, hidden under the 2 AM half moon. He was in his usual uniform of tattered plaid, backwards five panel hat, and grey jeans. Calum had made small talk with him in the elevator a couple times, but he recognized him quickly. You had always said he was nice and only loud when playing video games or fighting with his Polish parents over Skype. He couldn’t for the life of him remember his name. “She only comes here in the summer.“  He moved closer to Calum changing his plans to go right inside, take off his pants, and watch YouTube videos of other people playing Metal Gear Solid 5. He knew he had Calum’s full attention, the bassist’s eyes practically engulfing him in a single helping. “Her apartment is an AirBnB, she comes for the summer and does her practicum at Los Robles Hospital and then goes back to school. If you’re looking for her, that’s where she is.” He lived there and he saw many different people come in and out of the apartment Calum had lived his favorite life in for under a month.

“What school?” Itching at the back of his head, Calum asked. He should have felt hopeful and excited as he finally found a lead on where to find you, but instead Calum didn’t know what to feel. How could he have not known that apartment wasn’t your home? He knew you were still finishing nursing school, but he didn’t realize your life was somewhere else entirely.

“Uhhh…” For someone who knew more about you than Calum, he seemed stumped. He had to scroll through his exhausted mind to remember. “I think San Diego. UC San Diego.” The guy nodded before continuing to head inside again.  Calum had half a mind to follow him in. He longed for the fluorescent light that did him no favors or the smell of turmeric that took over his nostrils as soon as he entered, but he knew it wouldn’t be the same. His last memory there had been perfect and now showing up to some rental property and not your home would crush his spirit. “Good luck, man.”

Most of Calum knew that he should have head back to the house he and his friends were currently occupying while they finished up their album in California, but the new information was reeling around in his head and leading him to a dead end. It was unsatisfying. He found himself back on the bike and heading to the hospital you had spent the summer working at. He knew that they wouldn’t be very free with the personal information about you, but he had to try. Calum wanted answers. He wanted to hear you tell him August wasn’t real. It didn’t mean anything. Until he heard it from you, it wouldn’t be true.

The flight to San Diego allowed Calum’s mind rest. He slept and actually rest for the first time in a week or that’s how it felt. Luke told him he was crazy. He could have any warm body that he chose, but instead he had himself wrapped up and curious about a girl who didn’t even send a goodbye text message. Still, Calum just chased his answer. As reasonable as he was known to be, he held out hope that there could have been a perfectly good answer for everything. You would explain everything to him while stretching both arms behind your back as you had explained a dozen other things to him before. Of course, those had just been medical terms and what you would do if a zombie apocolypse was upon you, but he still fondly remembered your limbs behind you and your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you sorted out your response.

He sat outside the classroom on the ground with his legs stretched out, picking at a paper cup that had previously held stale coffee in it. Calum was dozing off when he woke up to a small group of people, just five, standing in a messy semi circle before him, two people snapping a photo for Instagram with their phones. He jumped to his feet with furrowed, obviously pissed off brows, when he softened at the sight of you. Your face as surprised as the first time he made you cum, his eyes sneaking a peek from between your legs.

“Hey.” He nodded his chin at you, pinning you to the wall with his stare before moving between the two casual paparazzo. “In a world of social media, you’re not easy to find.” It hadn’t truly occurred to him that you weren’t looking to be found. You stepped back as he came within arm’s reach, a wall that hadn’t been there before suddenly strong and forceful between you both. Calum didn’t care though. He had flown out here on his one day off. There wasn’t anything that could keep him away. “Can we talk?”

You had another class in fifteen, but something told you this was something you couldn’t actually run away from though you had tried.

“Yeah, sure.” Hesitantly you agreed, adjusting the straps of your grey backpack over your shoulders. “Let’s not stand in the hallway of my University though.” There was still one camera on you and it might as well have been broadcasting internationally for how uncomfortable it made you feel. “Follow me.” You directed him with your head cock and moved left, leading him up two flights of stairs. The third floor was rarely busy. You had wondered all through out your studies what the classrooms up there were even meant for. “What are you doing here? How did you even know I was here?” Dropping your bag both shoulders, you spun around and asked him, instantly your face pleaded for answers.

Calum instantly felt frustrated. He was the one with the questions, you were supposed to be the one who owed explanations.

“That guy that lives across from you, well lives across from the place you rent in the summer, told me you go here and then the triage nurse, Margo, who was not very nice, told me you only take classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays and then she gave me your mom’s phone number and I called and asked.” He didn’t realize how insane it sounded until he was saying the words out loud to you. It didn’t help that your face was asking him, ‘What the fuck?’, “You left. You just left. I came to pick you up and you didn’t live there anymore.”  He watched your eyes slide to the side, avoiding his face, but he sidestepped to follow them. “No. That’s so fucked up, [Y/N]. I would be a fucking villain if I did that to you!”

“I know that!” You snapped with an eye roll. You were caught and it was uncomfortable. There was no pleasant way through this. “I know what I did was horrible, but I didn’t ask for you. I didn’t invite you and your chaotic life into mine.” Now it was his time to roll his eyes at you. “What did you think would happen? We would do long distance between California and Australia?”

“I don’t know, I hadn’t thought that far ahead. I was still just figuring out what movie we were going to watch the night you took off.”

“We weren’t going to be more than what we were and I didn’t want this. I didn’t want the conversation where we pretend we could work beyond this. I didn’t want to cry in your arms and tell you I would miss you. It was amazing and I didn’t want it to be anything else.” Your throat caught itself on a lump as you explained yourself watching as Calum showed you a face that you hadn’t seen him wear before. He was pissed and that was your fault.

“I wasn’t looking for anything either, you know? You’re not the only one whose plans got fucked.”

“So, what are you doing here? Why did you chase me?”

“I wanted you to say ‘goodbye’.”

“Like this? Fighting in my school?” Throwing your arms open wide at each of your sides, you asked somewhat rhetorically. “I loved every minute I spent with you and I wish things were different, but there not. Your life is big and my life is here.”

“What we had was more than a month and I deserved a fucking goodbye and you know it!” His finger was in your face as he charged forward with one foot. The usually level headed boy was shaking red, his finger could have stabbed you, but his words beat it to the punch.

“You came all the way to San Diego for a goodbye? I didn’t want that! I said  the last thing I wanted to say to you already.”

“Say it.” Calum’s bottom lip spat as he demanded his 'goodbye’. This wasn’t how he thought today would go. He thought, maybe, you might run to him and kiss him. You would see him and feel like an idiot, apologizing over and over. He had even planned to accept the apology with ease before telling you to come to his hotel room after class.

“Calum, I’m not doing this. I didn’t want this. Why can’t you just leave us as a great memory?”

“Say it, [Y/N].” He didn’t want to roar, but his chest was begging to be released from his chest.

“I said what I wanted to say! I have to go.” Picking up your bag, you tried to protect yourself from ruining your memory of Calum. He had come out nowhere, a sneaky smile in the back of a club when you were out for a friend’s birthday. His breath in your ear was warmer than the August sun and you felt yourself melt into his chest night after night. It hadn’t been easy to leave, but it had been necessary. His world was screaming fans, parties, chaos, and a travelling schedule. You were so close to your own goal and you didn’t see any compromise in pursuing something with him.

“Say it.” This time his voice croaked. He surprised himself by sounding as hurt and spent as your exit had left him. He gasped for a breath and watched as you put your backpack over your back.

“See you soon.” Just as you had told him before he left your apartment in August, you said. Your smile seemed just as soft, struggling in the reality of things, and Calum felt like he was transported back into your rental spot. He smiled at the three words and then chuckled at himself. He bit down on his bottom lip and took four steps back to rest his body against the window, blanketing himself in the sun bleeding in. “I just didn’t see a future with you. I wanted to, but we would have never been anything that was fair to me.” Quietly, you explained, leaning against the wall closest to you. For two people who had spent all of August practically magnetized to one another, the distance between you both could not have been greater.

“Well…” After a small moment to himself, Calum nodded at the ground and finally spoke. “You could have just said that and saved me some air fare.” He nodded and started to walk away. His hands had found their way into his jean pockets without him realizing. “Next time,” He spun around and caught you watching his departure. “someone is falling in love you, maybe stop and tell them to not waste their time.” He said already cursing the person that you would one day see a future with. If he hadn’t already before, Calum resented his own life. He left angry after landing with a chest and head full of faith. He spent his time waiting at the airport to go back to Los Angeles wondering if you regretted anything, but he knew now that he would have to be okay with never knowing. That some truth he wasn’t meant to know.

anonymous asked:

Hello! I'm wondering how basic grammar in Sumerian works. I don't really know anything about it other than that it's an ergative-absolutive kind of deal? I think? But what sorts of cases are there, and maybe if you have any suggestions about where I might start learning more about the language, I'd love to investigate further myself!

Thanks so much! I know Sumerian resources out there come in two basic types, incredibly dense & confusing or incredibly brief & potentially inaccurate. A great place to start is my youtube videos! I’m hoping that by the time a few more are out they’ll provide a pretty solid primer on Sumerian structure & grammar.

But as a start, the main four things which English (and other European-language) speakers tend to find unusual right away are probably:

  • SOV structure. English (and most European languages) start a sentence with the subject, then the verb, then the object, then various trailing pieces of information — our sentences start strong and often finish weak. Sumerian is, to say the least, not like this. You start with the subject, then cram everything else in (object, obliques, subordinate clauses, etc.) and finally end with the main verb. Yes, every sentence in Sumerian ends with a verb (except for a few one-word sentences like ana? “what?” or inu! “oh no!”) This means that often you have to hang on to the very end of a sentence to get what exactly is going on.
  • Cases rather than prepositions. Sumerian uses almost no prepositions, and instead uses a set of case endings, kind of like an extreme™ version of Latin or ancient Greek. The most important cases to learn are probably (and this is a very simplified version) -a(k) “of”, -a “in/at”, -r(a) “for”, -da “with”, -ta “from”, and -sh(e) “to/towards”. Hopefully videos on these cases will be out soon!
  • Person-nonperson. We’re used to “gender” distinctions in European languages, but they mostly divide between masculine and feminine (think French or Spanish) or sometimes between these two and neuter (think “he, she, it”). Sumerian divides the world instead into two groups, people (including deities, sentient beings, and occasionally representations of people) and everything else. It’s a pretty simple distinction, but one you may have to adjust to.
  • Ergative-absolutive alignment. This is probably the most confusing thing that you encounter upon first learning Sumerian. I’ve got a post explaining the basics of Sumerian alignment here, but in general I recommend not worrying about it too much until you’ve got a better feel for the language. It just means that you should focus on intransitive sentences and ones using the verb to be as your early example sentences.

But before you go, I just want to say — don’t be scared! Most of Sumerian isn’t that difficult, once you adjust to these few things. ^_^

anonymous asked:

How do you make the GIFs? If I may ask. I've been wanting to do some on my own but don't know how 😅

Hi! Since I’ve been asked this question several times already, I figured that I might as well make a detailed tutorial on how I make my gifs! I’ve never really made a tutorial nor am I an expert, so please bear with me. If I’m unclear on a step, feel free to message me and I’ll clarify it for you :-)

Please like/reblog because this tutorial took hours to make!

This is the gif I will be teaching you how to make: 

Keep reading

Lights Camera Jealousy

Pairing: danisnotonfire x reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Warnings: Swearing, Break-ups, Aggression

Word Count: 3106

Prompt: I love your angst fic its so awesome!! Could you write another angsty one centred around jealous dan? 

Prompt: Please do one about jealous Dan!!!!
__________________________________

(N.B. Contains fictional character ‘Ollie’, feel free to imagine him any way you wish.)

“What are you doing?!” exclaims Ollie, propping his foot against the door of the YouTube space that had been hired for the day. You were dragging the huge light box from the corner of the room and didn’t notice the tangle of wire following behind. Ollie was basically your mentor, you’d finally passed your exams and had got yourself a job at Google as a lighting and camera technician, but as you’d only been working there officially for a few months, you were very much still under his wing.

Ollie was 22, and there was no denying he was good looking. All your friends were jealous of you because of the amount of hours you spent together in those little recording rooms, squashed behind cameras as you helped youtubers film their videos. He was also a massive flirt and you enjoyed his attention. Especially since you split with your boyfriend, and fairly famous youtuber Dan Howell, only two weeks ago. Your 8 month relationship had suddenly crumbled. You had met him when you did a weeks work experience at the YouTube building, and it didn’t take either of you long to fall for eachother. But soon it seemed he couldn’t cope with the stress of your very public love life, (outed accidentally by Louise) and he had decided to end it. Not really giving you a real reason. Ollie was the one you ran to when you felt like your world was ending.

“I’m trying to set up! I wanted to sort it out on my own.” You reply, pouting at him and pushing the light away from you. He walks through the door and grins at you, setting down his water bottle on a box full of props.

“Aren’t you cute.” He answers, walking over to you and lightly squashing your cheeks in his palms.

“Shut up”, you say laughing and pushing his hands away, “Who the hell are we setting all this up for anyway?” The room was filled with extremely high tech cameras and lighting equipment.

“Its for Ben Cook’s 'Becoming YouTube’ series.” Ollie says, turning from you and lifting the heavy light rather effortlessly to where you were trying to drag it. The boy had muscles. He kicks the mess of wires away from around your feet. “You’re sorting that out babe, I’m definitely not.” He grins, pointing at it. You ignore him.

“I love Ben’s videos. Is he interviewing someone?” You ask, looking at the two black directors chairs facing the main camera lens.

“Yeah… they’ll be here any second.” He answers, not looking at you. “Can you turn all the cameras on?” he says, squeezing past you to grab his bottle. As he passes, his hand glides over your back.

“Sure.” You take hold of the camera bar and tilt it towards the chairs, and then press the buttons to bring it to life.

“Cheers gorgeous.” Which was something he called you regularly. “I’ll be back in a sec I’m gonna go grab the spare mic from the other room.” He gives you a smile and slips out of the door, and you are alone in the room for all of around 20 seconds before the door swings open again.

“Wow that was quick!” You laugh, not bothering to turn you head. “Can’t bare to be away from me huh?” you joke, knowing he’ll respond with his own cheeky comment.

“Um… I’m sorry?” You hear. And you freeze. It wasn’t Ollie’s voice, it was Dan’s.

You look up to see him stood about two meters away from you, dressed in your favourite shirt and leather jacket. It was the first time you’d seen each other since your relationship ended, he looked so handsome, and you felt a mixture of pain and fluttering sheer through your heart.

“Oh.. I thought you were-”

“Ollie?” he finishes, quite sternly.

“Yes.” You drag your stare away from his beautiful rich brown eyes and back to the camera, just as the door swings open again.

“ALRIGHT YOU LANKY SHITS LETS DO THIS!” Yells Ben. Phil follows behind him and flicks his fringe to the side.

“YEAH!” he says raising his fists and scrunching his nose. However they both freeze when they see you and Dan in front of them. You staring at the camera, and Dan staring at you.

“Phew!” Ben makes the whistling noise that makes everything a little more awkward. “This will be interesting. Alright Y/N?” he asks, not exactly treading gently. You look up at them and see Phil pull a gentle sympathetic face at you, probably knowing exactly how you felt right now.

“Fine Ben. You ready to go? We’ve got the room until three.” You say.

“Yeah, take a seat boys.” He gestures to Dan and Phil. Phil sits but Dan’s eyes are still on you. Then Ollie comes bursting back through the doors, whistling to himself before smiling at the three youtubers in front of you. Dan’s face turns into a slight scowl as he turns to watch Ollie.

“Afternoon boys,” he says confidently, “You ready to go?” He moves himself in front of Dan as he steps over a wire. They were almost the same height, Dan was only just taller. Ollie turns to face Dan, and smirks at him, pushing out his chest slightly.

“Hold this for me gorgeous.” Ollie says, clearly talking to you but keeping his eyes locked on Dan. He passes you the spare mic and you watch them both closely. It was like a dominance display, and you knew Dan had always felt intimidated by the attractive camera tech, but this time Dan edges forward slightly, grinding his jaw and glaring back at Ollie.

“Okay you pair of peacocks. Put the feathers down. We haven’t got long.” Says Ben impatiently. You feel yourself blush, and you scratch the back of your hand harshly. Things were getting tense.

It was safe to say Ollie wasn’t Dan’s biggest fan. When your relationship with Dan had ended, Ollie was the one that saw how it really affected you, and he resented Dan for it. He always told you how Dan should have fought for the relationship, and what a mistake he had made. Ollie’s flirty boyish behaviour was probably his way of showing your painfully beautiful ex-boyfriend exactly what he’d left behind.

Ollie shrugs, “Alright. Let’s film.” He smiles at Dan one last time, and turns to walk towards the cameras, and towards you. Dan sits down next to Phil and grips the sides of the seat, staring a spot on the floor.

“Um… Everyone ready?” You ask, only allowing yourself to look between Phil and Ben as you feel Ollie up against your side. You know he’s standing this close on purpose, but you don’t want to push him away. As cruel as it may be, you were hoping it was making Dan a little jealous…

Phil nods at you, smiling gently, before turning his attention to Dan, which naturally made you look too. He was clenching his jaw, as his eyes blazed. He then lifts his head to the side, moves his fringe slightly with his fingers and bites the inside of his lip, before finally looking up at Ben. Not you.

“Yeah.” He says plainly. Your stomach flutters and you return your stare to the cameras, gripping the bar and adjusting the height ever so slightly.

There was a weird atmosphere in the room. Aside from the obvious tension between Ollie and Dan, there was a huge change in attitude towards you from Dan. Angry? Possessive? Sexual? All 3??? He had been the one to end the relationship, and aside from a (very painful) phone conversation to organise when he could come and collect his things from your flat, you hadn’t spoken to or seen each other at all. Phil had been the one in the end to collect his things, and from what you could get out of him, Dan hurt just as much as you, so you couldn’t work out exactly why he had ended it… From the way he was looking at you now, it seemed like he didn’t know why either…

“No gorgeous, like this, we want to get about ten centimeters in frame on Phil’s left. C'mere.” says Ollie, moving to stand behind you. There was little room between him and the wall, so he pressed into your back and wove his arms around you to hold the camera with you. He lowered his upper body slightly to be level with you. You felt your heart flip. Not because of Ollie, but because of Dan, you were watching him through the camera. He was glaring at Ollie again, really clamping his jaw together and you could see his chest inflate as he took a breath.

“You see?” Ollie continues, running his hands over yours to move the camera to the left a little. His head was close to yours and he made no effort to hide his flirting in front of anyone in the room. “That’s better. Good job babe.” As he says it, one of his hands finds your waist, and he squeezes you gently, automatically making you giggle. You couldn’t help it, it was a natural reaction, but at that moment, Dan stood.

“That’s enough Ollie.” He says sternly. His eyes firey with anger and his fists clenched.

“Sorry mate?” Ollie replies, keeping his hand on your waist but standing up to his full height. You blush and frantically look to Phil, who is watching Dan closely, a slightly worried look on his face. You both knew Dan wasn’t the type to get angry, let alone challenge someone like Ollie. Sure, Dan was taller, but only just. And Ollie had the muscles.

“You’ve got to me joking me.” Sighed Ben. “I’m going to find Jack. Someone text me when they’ve sorted this shit out.” He looks at you and raises his eyebrows as he walks over to the door, probably all the sympathy he’s capable of seeing as this was his film that was being interrupted because of you.

“I’m sorry Ben.” You mumble, as he leaves. You look up through your lashes at Phil, who is now by Dan’s side, holding onto his shoulder.

“Take your hand off of her.” Dan says through gritted teeth. His eyes flash to your waist where Ollie is holding you.

“I don’t believe you have the right to tell me that anymore mate.” Ollie moves to stand slightly in front of you, almost protectively, but his fingers move from your waist to your hand where he holds it gently. You see Phil tighten his grip on Dan’s shoulder, and you realise just how angry Dan must be. You force yourself to look at Dan, and see his eyes burning as he looks down at your fingers in Ollie’s. You want to move then, but you’re just frozen. You had never been fought over before, and this wasn’t some playground fight. You felt too nervous to move, or to say a thing.

“Are you jealous? Even though YOU gave her up?” pokes Ollie.

“Don’t.” Whispers Dan.

“You gave up all the boyfriend rights too bro. Y/N’s single now. You saw to that.” Ollie smirks.

“Shut your mouth Ollie.” Dan growls, taking a step forward despite Phil’s efforts to hold him still.

“Or what?!” Ollie replies, letting go of your hand and closing the gap between him and Dan. They both have their fists clenched and you can see Dan’s eyes flitting between Ollie’s. You fall back against the wall, a little overwhelmed with emotion. Did this mean Dan wanted you back? Or did he just not want anyone else to have you? You weren’t even that interested in Ollie. He was your friend, but you enjoyed the flirting. It made you feel important, something you didn’t feel much of towards the end of your relationship with Dan. But you couldn’t handle the idea that Dan didn’t want you to feel happy with anyone else. If he feels this way, why didn’t he fight for your relationship? Why is he fighting for you now?!


“You lost her man.” Ollie laughs at Dan, but nothing was funny. Dan’s eyes narrow and he grinds his jaw again. Ollie leans in close to Dan’s face and bares his teeth a little. “You fucked up.”


Suddenly, Dan grabbed Ollie’s t-shirt in his fists and scrunched the material up, he pulls it so hard Ollie lifts up slightly on his toes and Dan doesn’t once break their eye contact.

“I told you, to shut your mouth.”

You’d had enough. Adrenaline kicks in and you run over to force yourself between the two boys, pushing your palms on either of their chests.

“STOP!” You yell. Dan rips his hands away from Ollie’s t-shirt and lets his arms fall to his side. You can feel how fast his heart is beating through his shirt, and the butterflies begin to stir as you feel him breathe heavily against you. Ollie however seemed calm, probably thinking if things had gone any further he could have won, you however, and evidently Phil who was now holding Dan’s shoulder with both hands, both realised that Dan was way too angry to back down on his own. You needed to calm him down
.
“Phil, please take Ollie out of here.” You gently push Ollie backwards and glance up at him, nervously assessing his face. He looked calm enough, but slightly pissed off at your instruction.

“You want me to leave?”

“I think you should.” You say gently. You realise that Ollie was only doing any of this because he knows Dan hurt you. He was technically sticking up for you, supporting you, in his own messed up way. You had allowed him to flirt. This was down to you. Dan was furious because of you.

“Please go with Phil, Ollie. Find Ben and tell him he’ll have to book a room for tomorrow. Or see if anyone else has equipment set up. I need to stay here.” You turn to nod at Phil and he lets go of Dan’s shoulders, glancing between you both. Dan is staring at a spot on the wall above your head, still breathing heavily with  pounding heart. Phil then points at the door and Ollie smirks at them both, before walking backwards, watching Dan, to the door Phil was holding open.

“You best sort it the fuck out mate.” He says, before stretching out his top and walking out the door with Phil.

As the door clicks shut, you allow your hand to fall from Dan’s chest, and his eyes flick up to meet yours. God you’d missed those eyes. They were somehow darker than you remember, and were still glowing with emotion.
  
“I’m sorry.” He says.

“You need to say sorry to Ben I think.” You reply, trying to sound assertive but wobbling on a few of your words. You were close enough to smell him, and he smelt like your own piece of heaven. Your favourite smell in the world.

“No…no Y/N. I’m not sorry for that… I’m sorry for everything.” He runs his fingers through his fringe causing it to stick up a little, just like he used to when he was stressed, or embarrassed. You maintain your eye contact with him, but your eyelids flutter a little, knowing you’re about the have the conversation you’ve been dreading. He continues, “I don’t know how to… explain… it got too much. I couldn’t handle it.”

“So you decide to cut and run?” You say, your voice wobbling again.

“Ollie is right I fucked up. My head was all over the place you know I’m a private person. I’ve been getting shit about Phil and me for years so I never thought the internet would react so badly when my real relationship came out.. I thought everyone would just accept it… ”

“So you’re blaming all of this on the fact that you had a girlfriend? You’re blaming this on me?”

“No!” He suddenly grabs your arms and pulls you closer to him. “No, I’m blaming this on me, and the fact that I am such a fucking idiot! I know I shouldn’t care what anyone thinks, and I don’t now. I care what I think, more importantly I care what you think and I care that Ollie had his hands all over you when it should still be me…”

He runs his hands down your arms until he reaches your fingers, holding still awaiting your reaction.

You don’t really know what to do. Or think. Your head had been all over the place these last few weeks and now Dan had just said all that… but without realising, you had opened your palms, inviting his hands to hold yours.

“I don’t like seeing you with Ollie. I hate the thought of him touching you.”

“We’re just friends Dan.” You whisper, holding his hands tighter, craving his contact.

“The way you were letting him touch you…”

“To make you jealous. I didn’t know it would work so well.”

He laughs gently, and your stomach knots at the sound. You can’t help but smile too. You’re still gazing into his eyes but his have wandered to your lips.

“We’ve got a lot we need to talk about Daniel.” You say, edging closer to him. “I mean it.”

“I know Y/N, but first you need to tell me you forgive me.” You see a shine to his eyes you didn’t see before. Tears? “Please forgive me everything.”

You didn’t need to think about your answer. “I forgive you. I forgave you as soon as it happened. I can’t hate you at all. But you have to change the way you are Dan. I won’t let you give us up whenever you feel a bit stressed out.” As you say the last few words, Dan shakes his head sadly, but in agreement.

“I know, I won’t. I will never put you through this again. I fucking love you.” His eyes join your again. You lean up to rest your forehead on his.

"I love you. Who knew we needed Ollie to make this happen…”

“I guess he’d not completely useless.” He whispers, before pressing his lips to yours. He kisses you the way he did the very first time. Just after he had walked you home, stood outside your door. Tender but powerful. Meaningful and promising.

His hands raise to your cheeks and you grip his middle. This time, there was no way you were going to let him go.
____________________________________

(Let me know what you think x)

anonymous asked:

would you ever do a gif tutorial?

of course!!! the main things you need are:

  • photoshop
  • patience
  • access to youtube and a video converter website OR other way you like to download videos 

everything is below the cut!! let’s get started!

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Fic: Listen (Chapter 10)

Title: Listen
Rating: PG
Word Count: 5.6K (this chapter)
Summary: Phil is a successful YouTuber, and Dan is a fan desperate for attention. Sounds like 2009, right? Except Phil is Deaf.
Tags: AU, Deaf!Phil, Mute!Dan, Both YouTubers, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Conversion Disorder, Childhood Trauma (no details)
Author’s Note: Tremendous enormous gazillions of thanks to @vivianadichiara for the amazing artwork she created for this chapter. We ended up collaborating on it pretty extensively, and she showed such patience with my vague requests that she may in fact now qualify for sainthood.
Fic also available on AO3 here


[Masterlist of all “Listen” chapters on Tumblr]


Chapter 10: Coming Out

After Dan’s emotional reaction to the first counseling session, Phil insisted on going with him to the second session. He would just browse in a nearby bookstore and pick Dan up afterward. It sounded so simple, so supportive, so obviously the right thing to do.

And it ended up so disastrously wrong.

They got to the clinic fine, Dan had his counseling session, Phil met up with him after and he seemed less overwhelmed than the first time but still very contemplative. But then they walked to the bus stop to head home, and that’s when it happened.

Phil was happy and proud to be Deaf, but … well … he had to admit that some kind of distant early warning system to alert him to incoming fans would sometimes be helpful. The expressions on their faces and the movements of their mouths usually seemed to indicate a fair amount of enthusiastic squealing, but he of course never heard it coming.

And that’s why Phil was blithely strolling along the pavement toward the bus stop, completely uncomprehending when Dan suddenly flinched, stiffened, and began looking around as if seeking a convenient shrubbery to hide behind. Then Phil saw the three teenage girls, one of them even wearing AmazingPhil merch, rapidly approaching them. Phil signed quickly to Dan, “It’ll be okay. Just smile and act shy.” Dan bit his lip, his face pale as chalk. Phil knew this was one of Dan’s worst nightmares, being recognized on the street, having fans find out that he couldn’t talk … so Phil tried to run interference as best he could.

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The Notion of Us

Summary: Five Times Phil wanted to propose, and the one time he actually succeeded

Warnings: None. It’s completely fluffy! 

Word Count: 2,742

Authors Note: Hello everyone! I normally post fics on Archive of Our Own so this is the first official fic that I’m posting on Tumblr. I hope you all enjoy it! If you’re unfamiliar with my work, I range normally from tame fluff like this to NSFW so I’ll post a wide variety. Please do not hesitate to send me a message, I always look forward to talking to people! 

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Board Stuff

Hello! This will likely be my first and last blog post, but I’ve had many people ask for board prep advice, and I figured this was the most efficient way to get it out to everyone at once! I had a ton of advice along the way, so am happy to give back in any way that I can.

I will start out by telling you guys that my MCAT was well below average. I spent so much time looking up correlations between MCAT and board scores, and was convinced that I couldn’t do well on boards. This caused me a ton of anxiety, and despite what my NBME assessments, class grades, and Qbank averages told me, I doubted myself until the day I received my scores back.

My scores
USMLE: 257
COMLEX: 826

What I did

My goal going in to med school was to give 110% every single day, so that no matter what happened, I could not regret anything because I knew I had done everything I could. I maintained this mentality the entire way through, and it landed me where I am right now.

This being said, I never had a “goal score” for my boards. My goal was to max out my potential.

For the entirety of my first and second year, I put in on average 11-12 hours of work on weekdays, and 14-16 hours each day of the weekend. Obviously there were days I did less, but this was the exception and not the norm.

The absolute best advice I can give in regards to boards is to focus on class work and build a solid foundation. This is UNDERRATED. I knew many people who spread themselves thin with “board” resources, and wasted their time studying those rather than focusing on their class work. This is a huge mistake. The class work IS the “board material”. There is no point in venturing outside of your class work until you have that down solid.

1st year – 100% focused on classes. No board materials used.

Summer between first and second: DO NOTHING…except….Sketchy Micro. I watched this one time through during the summer, and the advantage it gave me is indescribable. During the fall, I would watch the videos again as we talked about them in class. Overall I went through the entire thing about 3 times. Not only was my micro class an absolute breeze, but after the fall semester, I hardly ever looked at micro again. These videos were so solid, that come board time I still remembered every detail, so there was no need to continue to study micro. I maxed out the micro score on both COMLEX and USMLE, and it was due primarily to this program. (We did also have an excellent micro class at school, so I don’t want to undercut that either).

2nd year

Fall semester:
This semester I was still about 95% focused on classes and 5% focused on boards. I started Kaplan Q bank, as well as USMLErx. I ONLY did these along with class work (ex: if we were learning cardio path, I only did cardio path questions). This not only helped me get used to board style questions, but also hammered in the class material.  

I also did dabble around in COMBANK a little bit. I think I finished a little over half of it.

Spring Semester
My primary focus was still class work. I bought Uworld in February or so, but still only did questions that corresponded with my class work. However, if we were learning GI path, instead of JUST doing GI path questions, I did ALL GI questions. This re-exposed me to anatomy, Biochem, histo, and other topics from first year.

I also began to diligently watch Pathoma. If we were learning GI path, I would learn the class material well, and then watch the Pathoma videos to hammer in the info. This was crucial.

I had all of Pathoma and Uworld done x1 before I got to my dedicated time.

Towards the END of my spring semester, I started messing around with First Aid. I had not really opened it before this time. If we were learning about cardio, I would make time to review cardiac anatomy and phys (we are not systems based). Again, this not only helped for boards, but also for classes.

Spring break
Biochem was my weakest subject- I think I had literally forgotten all of it. Over spring break, I watched the entire Kaplan Biochem series (schedule below). I made very detailed, yet simple notes, and from then on only worked from those. The number of pathways I had to learn after watching was daunting, to say the least. I came up with the idea of “pathway time” (dumb, but it worked well for me). For 15 minutes a day, I would stop what I was doing and draw out a biochem pathway. I would re-draw that same pathway for several days until I knew it cold, then would move to the next. I had all of the pathways down in about 4-5 weeks, and had turned my worst subject into one of my best. By working on this during the school year, I was completely done with Biochem before dedicated even started.  Breaking Biochem down in to short quick segments made it less stressful for me, and made it easy to attack.

Dedicated
Here is my dedicated schedule. I will stress the importance of regularly scheduled assessments. From what I’ve read, a lot of people are scared of taking assessments, so they just continue to study blindly, take an assessment a month or two later, do poorly, and then feel like they wasted those one or two months with ineffective studying. For this reason, I chose to space my assessment exams about 1 week apart. This way I could track my progress, and quickly make adjustments to my study methods if needed. This also allowed me to identify any weak points and quickly address them.

Uworld Stuff
During dedicated I finished Uworld for a second time. Many people advise saving Uworld until dedicated. I went back and forth trying to decide when to start it, and ultimately chose to begin early (thanks to the help of a super smart radiology resident I know ;) ). This was hands down one of the best decisions I made in regards to my board prep. Yes, Uworld is unequivocally the best resource there is for Step 1; so why the heck wait until dedicated to start?! Doing this qbank twice allowed me to get the most out of it. There were SO MANY things I picked up on the second time around that I would have otherwise missed. Start this in your spring semester, and do it in tutor mode, along with class work. Your second pass during dedicated should be random timed. Uworld for me was NOT about tracking scores; it was about learning from the questions and explanations.

I also kept a Uworld Journal (I read about this on someone else’s blog, so thank you for the idea!).  A Uworld journal is a word document that I used to keep track of questions I got wrong. I would read the explanation, and then pick the ONE FACT that I needed to know to answer the question right. I would type up the one fact in question form, and then answer it below. (Ex: What type of collagen is found in bone – Type 1).  I’m a wordy person (as you can probably tell), so this ‘one fact’ thing was awesome for me because it kept things short. The goal was to review this journal frequently, which I actually did not do very well, but the night before my USMLE I read through the entire thing and can say for sure I got several questions on my test that came from this journal. Uworld is huge, and keeping this journal was the only way for me to remember everything I had missed.

Between Uworld, USMLErx, Kaplan, COMBANK, and my assessments, I did somewhere between 12-13k questions. This was the most important thing I did. They can only ask questions so many ways. By exposing myself to this number of questions, there was not much that I hadn’t seen. A huge chunk of my questions were done during second year, but as stated above, I always did them in a way that would correspond with what we were learning in class at that time. I think I good goal to set is at least 10k questions.

Pathoma
I finished Pathoma for a second time during dedicated. I had a strong path background, so 2x was enough for me. If you are still hazy on any of the path, I would highly recommend watching Pathoma as many time as you need to until you have it down cold.

First Aid
Went through first aid twice. Not much else to say about this!

Between my USMLE and COMLEX
I took the USMLE 5 days before COMLEX. The idea was to study for the USMLE alone, and then in the 5 days between read the green book and do COMBANK OMT questions. This did not happen haha. I was brain dead after my USMLE. I think I read about half of the green book and worked maybe 200-300 COMBANK questions or so. I am not some OMT wizard or anything, so its safe to say the OMT on my COMLEX was easy (fortunately). Know your VSR’s and Chapman points cold. VSR’s were probably 80% of my OMT questions. I used a youtube video to learn them (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-r_QriTMSc


Assessments I Took 

- NBME assessments - forms 15, 17, 13, 18

- UWSA - 1, 2 

- Free 120 

- COMSAE form E 

- COMBANK assments 1 and 2

- Kaplan full length 

Thoughts on these - take as many as you can, especially the NBME assessments. My overall score on the USMLE was the exact average of my NBME assessments. They do a good job of letting you know where you stand and what you need to brush up on. Take one at the very start of your dedicated time period to get a baseline score. This will let you know where you stand and show you how much work you need to do to reach your goal. I think getting a baseline is super important. 

All of the COMLEX assessments (except COMSAE) were taken during the spring semester of school. These were all required by the school. 


Overall, the material I used in dedicated was no different than what everyone else uses. The work I did in my first two years is what laid the foundation for me to score well.

My MCAT is evidence that anyone can do this. Just takes a lot of work! Happy to answer any questions that I can!


Board Schedule












I was NOT able to stick to these time blocks. However, I DID finish everything I was supposed to finish each day by the end of that day. The time blocks were just not realistic for me. I had several days after my UWSA2 to just hit weak areas. In retrospect, I took WAY too long to study. 4 weeks would have been ideal. 


My Biochem Schedule (spring break)


Press X To Respawn Ch. 5 (Trixya) - Rainbow

A/N: Hello again! It’s been a minute, but I’m finally back with another chapter! I wasn’t, like, SUPER happy with the last chapter but I promise this one will be really lighthearted. Depression hit me like a bus this week so I haven’t exactly had much motivation to write, but I’m finally doing it! Also I should probably tag this fic as slowburn cause it kinda is… Hmm… Well ANYWAY Trixie and Katya are gonna start recording their collab today so enjoy the chapter! Also sorry for all the rhymes! They were unintentional!

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A Study In Cosmetics

because we like to steal your fanfics, @grumpy-swoop

here’s the prompt

Read it on ao3


“Harry, Clara’s here!”

“I’ll be down in a bit!”

John exhaled and stepped back from the door. “You should probably just come in, I suppose,” he said in a low voice. “When she says a bit, she really means another half an hour.”

Clara laughed and slipped into the living room, taking a seat on the couch. “It’s fine. I’ve gotten used to it.”

John smiled at his sister’s date. Harry had changed so much since she met Clara– she’d gotten happier. His eyes flicked over the girl’s face before they slid back to the floor.

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