Don’t Let Me Go
gusenitsagirl, here’s some more CS for you. And it’s like hardly angsty at all. I mean, CS is pretty much happy, there’s just some Emma/her parents angst. So… minimal angst, really. Also, every CS fan should go listen to Don’t Let Me Go by Raign, because it really makes me think of CS and Emma’s current arc.
When she tells Henry that she can’t stay in the loft, right now, he nods with understanding and gives her a kiss on the cheek. Emma is mad, but she’s not so far gone that she can’t be practical. Mary Margaret and David are Henry’s grandparents, and for all that they’re apparently liars, she knows that they’ll protect Henry with their lives. So when she packs a bag and walks out the door, she knows that her son will be safe, even if her relationship with her parents isn’t.
“Emma-” Mary Margaret says behind her, but Emma is so beyond caring what her mother has to say right now. She doesn’t know who she’s more disappointed in – them, or herself. She had been so… determined, to see the best in the ones she loved, that she totally ignored her instincts. She knows better. Her instincts kept her alive and safe for twenty-eight years alone. Yet she wanted so badly to believe in heroes.
Instead she got disappointed.
And out there, somewhere, a child feels that same abandonment she grew up with, because her parents were so sure she would turn out to be evil.
It makes her sick
It makes her want to cry.
So she ignores her mother, vision clouded with tears, and all but runs away, down the steps, and out the door.
Her original plan was Granny’s. But she knows what will happen if she goes there. First it will be the questions – from Granny and Ruby and the dwarves – and then Leroy will tell the whole damn town she’s not in the loft anymore, and then everyone will try to mend the rift, and it will get to the point where Emma just wants to leave. But she doesn’t know where else to go. So she wanders. Her bag is pretty light, just filled with the necessities, and she can carry it for a while before she’ll need to find a place to sleep.
It surprises her, how much it doesn’t surprise her, when her walk takes her to the docks. She hesitates, because she can see the Jolly Roger, taller and prouder of any of the other ships. She knows that Killian has moved his belongings from his room at Granny’s back to his ship. But she’s not sure if she should go –
She’s already walking up the gangplank, because while her mind isn’t sure what she should do, the rest of her – her heart, her body – already yearns for him. When he holds her, everything seems a little brighter. She can forget that she’s the savior whose parents sacrificed another child to guarantee her morality. No, with Killian Jones she is simply Emma Swan, and right now she needs to be simply Emma Swan.
“Lass,” he says, coming up from below decks. He must have heard her foot steps and come out to investigate. Emma doesn’t say anything; she just drops her bag and is in his arms in three quick strides, pulling him into a tight hug. She feels him freeze for a second when she buries her face in his neck, but it doesn’t take him long to return the embrace, and she feels him rest his cheek on top of her head.
“I was going to Granny’s,” she told him, closing her eyes, because the tears she’d been holding back have started to fall, trailing down her cheeks and onto the leather of his coat. “I just… I can’t stay in the loft. Not right now. And I was going to Granny’s, but then I came here instead.”