this should be relevant to a lot of people

tips for new uni / college students

i’m just finishing up my first year this summer and i know lots of people are graduating and going into post secondary this semester, so here are my tips on your first year! (im in canada but these should probably be relevant for other countries? i think!) feel free to add your own! (spaces are for accessibility – sorry for the long ass post) 

  • you don’t need to ask to go to the bathroom, or to leave at all. if you’re anxious, or if you need a coffee, just quietly leave without disturbing the other students and come back when you’re ready. try not to leave in an important part of the lecture—you should preferably be doing everything you need to before/after class to avoid leaving and missing information, but this isn’t high school anymore and you can come and go as you wish. (note: if youre working in a lab make sure you follow your prof’s safety procedures around leaving to avoid bringing contaminants out of the lab with you, and do NOT leave in the middle of a test unless given explicit permission by the prof.)
  • i bought a binder for my first year and never used it. i took all my notes in a coil notebook, which is easier to keep track of, and put all handouts in the inside pocket/in a folder which was more than sufficient, since at my school most of the handouts are online anyways. if you’re more comfortable using a binder, definitely use one, but you’re probably better off using a notebook. 
  • you can bring your laptop/tablet to class to write your notes in 99% of classes. if you find typing easier than writing on paper with pen/pencil, then bring it with you - just make sure you have your charger/your laptop is charged, especially if it’s a long class. but try not to get distracted — you’re probably better off sticking to a notebook if you know you’re going to open facebook/tumblr instead of actually taking notes.
  • most professors i’ve taken still don’t appreciate texting in class. some of them don’t care, some will call you out on it. they understand if you have to quickly reply to your mom or something (or take a phone call outside of class) but if every time they look up you’re blatantly staring at your phone (or your crotch lol we all know the trying to hide ur phone under ur desk phone) they’ll probably be less inclined to help you later when you ask questions because you were too busy not paying attention 
  • write your name, phone number and school e-mail in the front of your notebook / on a label on your laptop. losing an entire semester’s worth of notes would be a NIGHTMARE and you want to make it as easy as possible for anyone who finds your stuff to return it to you. 
  • before you buy your textbook from your bookstore, check facebook to see if your school has a book exchange page and try to find someone you can buy it from second hand. it will be cheaper. 
  • if you can, buy your books used from the bookstore. renting is cheaper than buying — the buy back price at the end of the semester will be drastically reduced from what your purchased it at.
  • get familiar with the services at your school. check out the pride center and women’s center if you have one, join a club, and find a community. you’ll have a lot more fun at university if you find your niche and people who share your interests. they don’t have to be your lifetime best friends, but it’s nice to have a place to go and chat with an acquaintance during long breaks between classes.
  • use google docs or a similar cloud-based service. not having to haul your essays around on a USB is so much more convenient, and with your work stored in the cloud you won’t have any risk of it not saving or being corrupted. 
  • plagiarism is such a big no. your profs will remind you, but if you think you can get away with it, you can. plagiarism gives you what is essentially an academic criminal record and NO ONE in your faculty wants to deal with it, so just do your work okay?? trust me the consequences are way worse than just sitting down and writing the paper, no matter how awful it is
  • on the first day, if you HATE a class or the prof, drop it. add/drop deadlines are serious business 
  • if you have a few different choices for which prof to pick, check ratemyprofessor before choosing (but remember to take things with a grain of salt – they are reviews written by real people)

post-secondary is an amazing opportunity and as much as student loans and the emotional stress are hard, it can also be an incredible and fascinating experience. don’t worry too much about “finding your purpose” and take advantage of the wealth of knowledge your professors and teachers will present to you. good luck to all of you and i hope you have a wonderful time!! 

Advice I gave my kid today (that I wish someone had told me)

When I gave this advice to my kid

“You know how people say follow your passion? Or Follow your dream? So that when you grow up your passion is your job?” 

Kiddo got excited saying yes they’d heard that advice a lot.

“Well sometimes that’s not possible or even desirable.”

Kiddo got very still at that.

I used writing as an example explaining that I loved to write, but when I tried to write with the aim of being a published author it made me hate writing and eventually unable to write at all. It was only when I started writing again just for fun that it became something I did a lot and it genuinely became something I loved again.

I pointed out plenty of people do become published authors but it wasn’t right for me.

I said passions can become careers but they can also stay hobbies and that was okay. 

Kiddo thought for an example of something they love to do that they wouldn’t want as a career and yelled “YOUTUBERS!” and I’m like “Yes?” and Kiddo said “Some of them make their job playing minecraft and I love minecraft but I’d never want that to be my job. I want it to be a hobby only”

And I was “Exactly”

I also said you can go to university, get a degree, and end up in a completely unrelated job like my husband who’s degree in physics isn’t really relevant to his job co-coordinating a very large department of people. He enjoys his job but it’s not his “passion”

I pointed out a lot of people seem to feel people should have their whole lives planned out at 16 and that this was completely stupid. 

I said “What you do for fun or because you’re passionate can become your career but then you always run the risk of what you do for fun becoming ‘work’ and losing the passion that brought you to it in the first place. Also at times you need a job to pay the bills but your hobby can still bring you joy.”

Considering Kiddo is like me, incredibly stubborn with a perfectionist streak, I know how the pressure that “Follow your dream” can inflict. It can make you feel that unless you are a high achiever in a “career” that you’re “passionate” about you are failing and garbage.

Hopefully this advice will help counter act that notion for Kiddo.

Hopefully.

*shrugs* maybe people point out OP is a terf/terf-supporter because it can change the context (or rather, make it more clear) of the post, or maybe some people just really don’t want to interact with someone who supports people who are actively against them/hate them for who they are and I mean you can think whatever you want about that but dismissing them as childish/derailing is kinda naive

       Although I respect people’s opinions, I can never bring myself to understand why there is so much hatred for Hinata. She loved Naruto since the very very beginning. I think that itself is enough reason to adore her because she was never against him. He didn’t have to prove himself to her and she acknowledged his beautiful personality before anything else. Meanwhile, mostly everyone had to witness Naruto’s physical strength before actually taking him seriously. Hinata was on Naruto’s side even before he could summon a shadow clone properly, before he could call himself a ninja, when everyone was so fixated on the nine tails that they treated him like he wasn’t human. 

     Forgive me if it seems like I’m comparing but when people put team 7 before everything, I close my ears. Don’t get me wrong, I love team 7 but when I think about Naruto, I don’t just solely think about Team 7. When we put team 7′s bonds before everything else, we are demolishing the bonds that Naruto shared with others. We are demolishing the fact that Naruto was alone. Every aspect (even the bad ones) in Naruto’s life should all be taken into account and not just a fraction of it. The fact that he found the woman of his life, I would think that people would be happy because the manga starts with this…

And ends with…

     If you truly think about it, Naruto’s life is being told chronologically from his years as a boy, to a teen, to a young adult, to a full grown man. The ending is quite beautiful because it shows us just how much Naruto has grown; the fact that he found love! Who would have ever thought that knucklehead Naruto would get married… being the first one out of Konoha 11 at that?! It shows that in the very beginning, he was bereft of love… and the ending is basically his earned blessing because now, he’s united with the woman who loved him even when he was just that kid who sat on the swings and sadly watched everyone from afar.  It depicts his adulthood. When watching this wedding, we shouldn’t be thinking “Why did it not end with team 7!” Instead, we should be thinking “Naruto has grown up” or “He’s not that kid anymore!” It’s his wedding. That marks one of the best days of his life. 

     Meh, everyone’s entitle to think what they want. This is just how I look at it. This is why I truly adore Hinata and the ending. While I do feel like Kishimoto should have added more into the ending, I am still grateful for the results. In fact, it makes me want to cry when taking in the beginning of the manga to the ending. Watching Naruto as that lonely kid and seeing him now…Kishimoto did such a wonderful job with explaining the aspects of Naruto’s life. I am so proud of Naruto. He’s accomplished so much and now he’s gifted with a woman with such a beautiful heart.

   She even faced death for him. We see this puny little kunoichi fight a super strong evil shinobi like Pein and lost with the intent of  protecting and revealing her love for someone who has saved her from herself; someone who broke the chains of insecurity and self affliction out of her. That itself tells you that Hinata has a story of her own. She went through spiritual battles herself so you shouldn’t trivialize her feelings and the role she plays in Naruto’s life. She’s a person too… and she is not perfect. People spend so much time with expressing their hatred for her character when even Hinata herself admits her flaws and expresses her need for change; expresses how she doesn’t even like herself. 

    In a way it’s kind of like you tell someone “I hate you” and they respond “I hate myself.” She’s not ignorant of her character flaws and that itself makes her even more of an incredible character because this whole time, she acknowledged her bad sides and it gave her more of a reason to want to change into someone stronger. Naruto was the prime source of her strength because he is the perfect example of what she’s trying to become. He motivated her to pick herself up and continue to work hard as both a person and a ninja. In return, she felt like she owed him her life which is why she didn’t care if she died on the battle field. Her sacrifice confirmed how strong and genuine her love really is. This moment in the manga defines just how strong Hinata had become over the years as both a person and a ninja.

      I don’t see why it is a problem that she wants to be by Naruto’s side. We are already aware of the fact that she loved him since young. When you love someone, being by their side is more like an instinct. This is why she impulsively intervened in the battle the way she did… and other times…

    And, you wanna know something that I find hysterically hilarious? Is that she actually makes it her duty to be by his side. She legit wants to protect Naruto more than he does for her. She wants to be there for him more than she is actually capable… and she BLAMES HERSELF for why he always ends up being the one to save her in the end. It’s hilarious because this girl legit loves this guy and there are still people that don’t actually realize that (I respect your feelings though, but still). Even when she is tired and out of energy, she still tries to make a way to be by his side. Even when she knows she will die, she still tries to find a way. It is plain and simple… Hinata LOVES Naruto. Period, point blank.

    But then again, who’s to say that she’s the only impulsive one? 

              Those subconscious feelings are stronger than a bitch. 

—————————————————————————————————-

Every time she helps Naruto, it is suddenly a “problem”. But, the crazy thing is… every time she DOES help him, he BENEFITS from it completely.

   He even admits it every time. If it wasn’t for Hinata’s encouragement, he would have never had the confidence to defeat Neji in the final competition. In fact, he probably would have gotten his ass kicked simply put ^_^ He even THANKS Hinata for uplifting him so sincerely. Naruto’s depression vanished very quickly and now he is back to being himself… positive and full of energy; full of life and strength. Turns out, he actually likes Hinata as a person and understands her better.

   Even her intervention during his battle with pein benefited him seeing that Naruto was going to die on spot after all. Next thing you know, he was able to meet his father, he was able to defeat pein, rewarded the title of the village hero, and luckily for him, he is still alive.  He even acknowledges that Hinata’s sacrifice was a “save” on his part. He knows that Hinata wants to protect him hence he clearly assured her that she has already been doing that.

        You want to know what’s really interesting about this panel? It reminds me of this…

     Mind you, Naruto wasn’t exactly confident about his match against Neji (Like I mentioned before). Hinata uplifted him very quickly just like Naruto was able to uplift her as soon as he sensed how dejected she felt for being saved by him during the war. They are both very good at encouraging each other. It’s like an “eye for eye” sort of thing because they have the answer to each other’s insecurity. You would think that Naruto would have shared his worry to this team mates for those who believe that Team 7 is EVERYTHING. But apparently, he didn’t. For a girl that he considered weird, gloomy, dark , and timid , it truly amazes me that he entrust telling her about his weaknesses than the people he’s been “bonded” with throughout his early journey as a ninja. I’m not necessarily belittling the importance of Team 7 but rather proving that it is NOT the most important thing in the series. We have to be mindful of other characters too because they contribute a lot to Naruto’s character alone.

     He even acknowledges the fact that she saved him from falling into the traps of Obito.  He genuinely thanks her and also acknowledges that she “stayed at his side.” So, if Naruto can happily come to terms with that, then I don’t see the “problem.” In the end, he is back on his feet and being the happy knucklehead that we all know and love. We should be happy that Naruto has people like Hinata in his life that will sacrifice a leg and an arm for him; like his parents, like neji, etc. When putting Team 7 over everything, you are forgetting about those other precious people and things that were put in action to ensure his growth, his potential, and the extent of his passionate feelings as a character. Deny it or not, Hinata aligns with all of that and there is nothing no one can do about it. 

   “But Hinata isn’t relevant to the series because she doesn’t get a lot of                                                screen time.” 

Does the quantity of moments dictate how strongly Naruto feels about a person? Are we really going to let time away from a character dictate someone’s relevance to another person? Because, as far as I’m concern, Naruto has never spent a day with his mom or dad… but they are still upheld as important to him. Sasuke has been away from the leaf village for over 2 years. Even in their adult life, Sasuke has been away from the village for around 12 years (if I’m correct). It doesn’t change the fact that Naruto and Sasuke are very close. If screen time was genuinely relevant, then he would have let Sasuke go over the years that he actually spent time trying to find him. Jiraya has been dead for quite a long time… but Naruto’s feelings for Jiraya hasn’t changed. He still cherishes his god father with every drip of blood in his body. Gaara and Naruto are from different villages (we don’t get to see Gaara all of the time) but even that doesn’t dictate his bond with Naruto. Shikamaru is not even on Team 7 but he and Naruto are basically close as well… just like the of rest of konoha 11. Iruka hasn’t had all the screen time in the world but who did naruto ask to be his father in the wedding? Naruto even cherishes that sweet adorable ramen guy (the dude who NEVER gets screen time).  So, can we please stop making everything about screen time? It doesn’t necessarily matter. The QUALITY of the moments he share with another character is what truly defines those special bonds. Believe it or not, he shared quality moments with Hinata hence there would be no point in the genjutsu meaning anything to him. Once he was able to genuinely decipher those moments, that is when he came to terms with his own feelings for the Hyuga. He was able to realize how he felt about Hinata all along… and it didn’t take THOUSANDTHS of moments for that to happen.

I really want to see Finn fans be confident as new TLJ info comes out. Remember, the Official Star Wars magazine just did a feature on Finn’s hero’s journey, which was all to say that Finn is one of the trilogy’s two protagonists.

I really want to see Finn fans tagging relevant Finn content with The Last Jedi. A lot of content is hidden in the Finn-positive and ship tags that should be in the main tags, too.

Mainly, I want new people to go to the TLJ tag and see more Finn. As it is, the tag is (as it always has been) a soul-crushing display of how little Finn matters to the fandom.

*a cackle is heard in the distance*

anonymous asked:

(part 1) ur gonna roast me for this but im legit curious why mafia AUs are so bad? im asking in a non confrontational way, i get it romanticizing mafia is wrong, but i also believe that 1)most mafia AUs are a really toned down type of mafia;2)they do make for some interesting kinds of dynamics with fanart and with fics; 3)in a fic specifically u can create your own world and call something mafia and still make it so they don't kill innocent people but only idk members of other gangs or sth

(part 2) plus theyre a way to put ur charas in a completely diff context and see what theyll do. i mean i dont believe that writing ships in a certain context (like mafia) equals romanticizing that context. mafia AUs arent even my fav things to read (in fact i almost never do), im sure many ppl romanticize it and i obvs dont agree with that but im just trying to udnerstand bc i believe fandoms are a way to explore things that we normally wouldnt.

I’m not gonna roast you don’t worry xD okay wait let me check if I replied to this already if yes I’m gonna c/p because it’s half past midnight otherwise I’ll just go at it again wait *checks tags* fff obviously I don’t have a general post but anyway pls read this after you’ve done with my post and then this which is also choke-full of links. plus for a (not nice) laugh: here. AH WAIT I FOUND THE POST.

okay, so, let’s have it out of the way: I have nothing against mob aus or crime aus. I have a problem against calling them mafia AUs because in the US mafia = organized crime at large, in Italy mafia = ACTUAL EXISTING ORGANIZATIONS THAT ARE ACTIVELY HARMFUL. now that I introduced the topic I’ll c/p you the reply I gave to another anon who while discussing the issue pointed out that most writers don’t even know Italian mafia is a thing, which is pretty much on the same discourse so…

*The thing is - in the US it might not be enough of a deal anymore and I honestly do get why people make the mafia = regular mobsters, since the mafia was the first foreign organized crime being exported to the US via italian immigrants (sorry if this sounds horrible in English but I just woke up and I still didn’t have coffee) so I understand that mafia became the umbrella term.But the thing is that - as you said, these people don’t even know that there’s a mafia in Italy anymore or where the word comes from.

 I’m going to link to italiansreclaimingitaly’s tag about the mafia and its perception outside Italy because they posted about this extensively and it’s an excellent resource, but meanwhile I’m gonna do a very short bullet point list and about the topic:

  • Mafia might not be a big deal in the US, but it still is here. We have the beauty of four different mafias (Cosa Nostra - the Sicilian one, camorra which is the one in Campania but has tendrils spread everywhere, the ‘ndrangheta which is in Calabria and the Sacra Corona Unita in Puglia) which are all active [especially camorra and 'ndrangheta] and whose actions have direct impact (negative) on our economy and on our society. Actually mafias are one of the main reasons we’re currently economically fucked up, and if I start talking about how mafia culture keeps some areas literally backwards I could talk about it for three months.
  • There are still people who are killed for standing up against them. These days the most prominent personality is Roberto Saviano who is a writer who dared to put together a book documenting minutely the way camorra works and he’s been living under protection for years by this point. Like, they want him dead because he wrote a book. And I’m sorta sure that he was talking about leaving Italy and going to the US after years of sticking with it here because he can’t take it anymore but I don’t know if it was a taken decision or if it’s still debating it.
  • It wasn’t even thirty years ago that we had the stragi di mafia - in english it’d be something like the mafia slaughters, basically around the beginning of the nineties there were a number of bombs planted by the mafia targeting people who were trying to oppose it including judges Falcone and Borsellino, actually the anniversary of Falcone’s death is like… tomorrow. And they’ve killed people for way longer than that. Here is a list of only Cosa Nostra victims including the ones from the eighties/nineties. And people are still dying because of it. The slaughters I’m referring to are just the ones in the nineties which are enough of a number.
  • They also perpetuate a culture where if you testify against your mafia-employed relatives you’ll be shunned forever. There are women who testified against their families and couldn’t see their children anymore never mind that they weren’t automatically considered a relative anymore the moment they sided against the mafia. Some people have committed suicide after becoming witnesses also because our police force/justice system can be terribly non-supportive in this kind of situation so they got left on their own. Never mind that back in the day - it was the beginning of the nineties? - I recall at least a particular story of - I think, correct me if I remember wrong but I can’t remember the names for the life of me - where this guy testified against the local mafia when he either used to work for them or was forced to pay them the pizzo and in retaliation his six-year old (or five? Anyway he had a son younger than ten for sure) got kidnapped, killed and thrown into acid to dispose of the body. That happened in what, 1993? 1994? It’s pretty much yesterday. And now the camorra is doing the same - there’s a list here of camorra victims among which accidental passerbys that got killed because they were in the way which I can tell just by glancing is not complete. And I’m not even going into the 'ndrangheta. That is to say, here mafia still kills people and cripples our country.

Now, I get that it’s a word, but the point was: let’s say that instead of the Italians the Japanese came to the US first and the umbrella word for organized crime was yakuza rather than mafia and let’s say yakuza was still what it was originally in Japan while in the US it stopped being a big deal and people write yakuza!AU instead of mafia AU. Let’s say someone Japanese gets angry at that and goes like 'listen the yakuza is a real deal it does this this this and that and it’s a plague in our country so can you please at least look it up before writing your fanfic’, which is what had happened way back then when this whole mafia and fanfic thing blew up. A bunch of people told us to get over it because it’s just a word and if it’s a problem in Italy it’s not in the US so why should they care? Now, if we had been Japanese (or Chinese or Russian or Mexican) would they have said the same thing? Considering the general tumblr attitude I’m pretty sure they would have received either an apology or 'this is an important deal let’s keep that in mind’ with signal boost reblogs and stuff. 

It’s the fact that we should get over people not knowing that it’s still a real problem for us and that they can’t take five seconds to google it that is the problem imo. Especially when instead of mafia au you can just say mobsters au or tag it as organized crime and everyone is a lot happier, mostly because as the tag above explains romanticising the mafia is a good thing for them because it means they can act outside Italy with less stigma because everyone thinks that the mafia is dead or not relevant anymore, if I’m explaining myself. (And it’s active outside Italy - like, there was a mafia kill in Germany in 2007 where six people died (sorry the link is in Italian but there isn’t an English wiki page, if you look the city up you’ll find something probably) and it was because of the 'ndrangheta.

I’d really like to not get worked over it because it meant it was a thing of the past y'know, but the problem is that it isn’t and I’d rather spread some awareness in hope some of these writers look it up (because it’s a good thing that people know what mafia is since as stated they have tendrils everywhere - if you read Saviano’s book the entire first chapter is about how camorra regularly deals with Chinese import/export in Italy for one) than shrug and figure that since they’ll think everything is good for fanfic then it’s not even worth my time.*

Now, ^^^ that was the c/p-ed reply that should answer most of your doubts. What I didn’t address was:

im sure many ppl romanticize it and i obvs dont agree with that but im just trying to udnerstand bc i believe fandoms are a way to explore things that we normally wouldnt.

aaaand as we say here in Italy, this is where the donkey falls (sorry we have weird sayings), because in theory there’s nothing wrong with that… except that in 99% of the mafia aus I’ve seen around the thing is that they’re supposed to be cute.

like, I see a lot of shit with TINY MAFIA BOSS STEVE ROGERS with RUSSIAN ENFORCER BUCKY (????? bucky isn’t even russian???) and the yoi thing I saw before had the japanese character being the leader of a russian mafia gang which is… like… guys it doesn’t happen it really doesn’t, and a lot of them re-use wrongly terminology taken from the godfather without context or knowing what the hell it means, and it’s always from the criminals’ pov and they’re somehow seen as criminals doing justice where the police can’t (???) and like… no. mafia bosses/enforcers/employees are bad people period, and at least here if you try to leave or repent they kill your family in retribution. like, not even ten years ago there’s been a woman who used to belong to a mafia family (or one colluded with the mafia) who testified and her entire town/family shunned her and she couldn’t take it anymore and… killed herself drinking acid if I don’t recall wrong. it’s not even special cases. this shit is not funny, it’s not cute, it’s not adorable and it’s not good fodder for your imagine your otp scenario (srsly I saw one like.. let me find it,

LIKE. just look at this shit. in a regular context, the enforcer goes to the show owner to force them to pay a monthly sum to their boss lest they destroy their shop and their lives and their family’s life never mind that mafia culture is deeply homophobic so the mafia enforcer flirting with the shopkeeper is like completely fucking out of the question. I mean, people here like to shit on the sopranos but that show was actually excellent representation of Horrid Criminals Who Were Never Supposed To Be Good People and the small arc that happened when one of tony’s friends turned out to be gay (closeted) was REALLY well done. btw, it ended that when they found out he was gay most of the crowd rejected him and thought badly of him until I think they killed him also for other reasons, but that spiraled from finding out he liked dick. and that’s american mafia that they actually based on well-done research of the culture in Italy it came from, I assure you that here it doesn’t work that differently. like. the shit above is so inaccurate and frankly offensive, it’s like… I get people romanticizing problematic stuff but the thing is that when you tell them that it’s actually offensive you get brushed off as ‘ah well you’re being too sensitive it’s just a word u__u’. now, I’m all for exploring shit we wouldn’t be into, but not like THAT, because that’s like mafia romantic comedy and that’s not how it works. now, you wanna do a fic where the mafia characters are deeply flawed and bad people and the police tries to catch them? fine, great, go ahead. you wanna do a fic where the enforcer above deals with dunno an entire life of internalized homophobia when he finds the shopkeeper attractive and feels conflicted over having to con money out of him and doing horrible shit for a living and maybe understanding that crime isn’t worth it and then he actually collaborates with the police and gets shit from about everyone he knows and loves for that? okay, awesome, go ahead. nothing bad in that.

but the shit above is not exploring things we wouldn’t/writing darkfic, it’s THINKING THAT A CRIMINAL ORGANIZATION WHICH IS STILL A THING IN OUR PART OF THE WORLD IS CUTE AND ADORABLE. and that only plays in their favor because it takes the bad aura out of the word and we really should not let that happen. like. that is what is bad about mafia aus and mafia discourse, that people don’t realize the mafia is alive and well and thriving and not a thing that doesn’t exist or a generic word for organized crime.

you wanna write the shit above? okay, CALL IT CRIME AU or mob au, not mafia au.

btw, add-on: idk if I mentioned it in the above post or not, but in case I didn’t, I said that people would balk at the idea of a mexican cartel au. sadly since then I’ve found out a fandom where not only there is one but it’s also extra cutesy and people apparently love it and it has a bunch of kudos/comments and idek I’m not even touching that with a ten foot pole but like… I’ve avoided it and everything that author wrote because to me it’s just… nope. like, nope. if you do mafia aus don’t make them fucking cute. (also: in the same fandom I had to mute a v. famous fanartist whose art I actually liked but did cutesy mafia aus and.. like… haahahhaahahahahaha nah sorry. can’t go there. nope.)

anonymous asked:

Sometimes I stumble onto a blog which hates robron and I read their points and I feel really guilty about shipping robron 🙈 even though I love them it just feels like I am awful because they say it's abusive and Robert isn't worse than Gordon and it makes me sad :(

hey anon!

i mean, the solution to that is that you could stop reading their blogs lmao.

but the words “abusive relationship” have meaning and i think they get thrown around a lot more freely than they should and not to take away from how people feel, but i really don’t see, even being as brutally and openly honest as i can be, how you can apply that to robert and aaron’s relationship

the term “codependency” on the other hand. can be. pretty relevant. not to aaron and robert as individuals so much, but definitely to their relationship. like - they don’t have a healthy relationship, anyone that argues that they do is living in a denial bubble and honestly, given their history, i think it would be difficult for them to ever have a really, truly healthy relationship. a lot of their present problems are actually, shockingly, treatable and in some ways reversable, though. but they exist and they broke up because of them.

there’s a big difference between that and abuse, however.

little note - my biggest experience with abuse is with my younger cousin (who is p much like a sister to me, i think i’ve spoken before about how i grew up with my paternal cousins - we all basically lived together for the first part of our lives) who is currently in an emotionally abusive relationship and has been for a few years now. it’s the worst and it’s not my relationship so i won’t go into any level of detail but honestly. honestly. jesus fucking christ i really don’t take it lightly because i’ve seen someone i love lose herself entirely and been absolutely unable to help and i can’t express how fucking horrific and painful it is just to watch. i don’t know if it’s helpful for me to clarify this, but it’s colouring my response, so. 

and look kate wrote a massive and incredible post about this so tbh just read that because it’s perfect and it’s coming from an informed place and it’s more comprehensive an answer than i could ever give you

and we’ve yelled about this to each other a lot because… because the thing is, the requirements for abuse just aren’t there with Aaron and Robert - the main one being the power dynamic - no one has control over the other in this relationship, which kate goes into in her post

just… the idea that they’re in an abusive relationship makes no sense. the signs aren’t there. like. ok (and most of this is yanked from the convo i’ve just had with kate, so some of these words are hers and i’m just plagiarising, like the good friend i am):

  • rob doesn’t threaten or belittle or hypercritise aaron
  • rob doesn’t blame his mistakes on aaron - he has literally said “i won’t let you blame yourself” during the reveal, he refuses to let anyone else take the blame outside of himself, even rebecca
  • rob doesn’t make it so that aaron can’t leave - he literally says to vic that he can’t call aaron just in case it makes things worse
  • rob doesn’t control him financially - robert literally BURNED 100K BECAUSE AARON TOLD HIM TO THAT WOULD NOT HAPPEN IF ROBERT WERE ABUSING AARON. robert invested in aaron’s business so they could genuinely use that if they wanted to, but they don’t
  • aaron isn’t afraid to call robert out or express an opinion 
  • there’s no withholding of affection, or “i love you but…” 
  • no monitoring of location/how money is being spent/what aaron’s up to at all times 
  • robert doesn’t tell aaron to change who he is

like - that control isn’t there. that power imbalance isn’t there. they are on even footing with one another. aaron demanding rob be honest with him, winding him up, and in fact, before the break up, spending that time isolating himself from robert and being moody with robert because he was struggling - that wouldn’t happen if robert had the level of power over aaron he would need for abuse to manifest - and rob certainly wouldn’t react the way he did if he did

I COULD GO ON BUT I’M TRYING NOT TO SIT HERE REHASHING EVERYTHING THEY’VE EVER SAID OR DONE TO ONE ANOTHER 

but look - just watch robert even over these last few weeks and how he treats aaron. robert fucking up does not mean he’s abusive, that’s not how it works. he literally has shouldered all the blame and guilt himself, even the blame that does not belong to him. he cares so fucking much about aaron’s well-being. he accepts everything aaron does wrong (to a really really unhealthy level - something which aaron recognises that robert does not, which is part of the reason why aaron broke up with him) 

we know from the preview that yes he moved back into the mill and even that in and of itself, robert moving back in, isn’t abusive in the context of everything else in their relationship (because again, there’s no power imbalance and aaron isn’t going to feel scared about robert being there, just annoyed lmao), it was just stupid, drunk desperation.

i just?????? this is really extra for a monday morning tbqh but honestly???????? honestly???????????????????

Autism Service Doggos

Thank you so much <3 Yeah I was actually also unaware of the fact that autism service dogs were a Thing until I was like, 17+? and I met someone who had one and I was like ‘what that’s a thing???? what do’ and we talked and I realized how much something like that could help me, which is were my ~*~journey~*~ for my own ASD started.

I’ve been researching this stuff for like, 6+ years now. Every program I’ve come across has any combination of:
1) being illegitimate, giving people untrained(and sometimes even reactive) dogs
2) Only working with children, almost always ages 5-12(as if no one over 12 years old is autistic???)
3) Using pretty dehumanizing terminology(“children with autism”, “[autistic kids] live in a different world”, “autism is especially hard on the parents”)
4) Using pretty dehumanizing(and potentially dangerous) techniques such as tethering children to their dogs

    My goal is to eventually start a program that works primarily with adults, since we have no choice except to train a dog ourselves or hire a private trainer, which is a lot of work and can be pretty expensive, overwhelming, or even just impossible. Now, I have an idea of what I need in a service dog, but there are no two autistic people that are exactly alike so I need an idea of what sorts of things we should be prepared to handle, which is where this quiz below comes in.
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfiv7V2oz4ERQgBWCnQ1rN98OlSCBoSptuz_RY9d-vQ8_Ntvg/viewform
    It is 3 pages but every question is relevant to things such as: what sort of financial help are we going to have to provide, what sorts of breeds should we work with, what sort of tasks should we train, problems we should familiarize ourselves with, etc.

    If you aren’t autistic but would like you view the quiz, you can fill out the required questions but please do not submit the form so it doesn’t screw with the results, or if you do, make a note that you aren’t autistic.

    I am in the process of figuring out how to contact trainers, and other Official Dog People and get their input on the more managerial side of things as well as how I can really get started on this thing but if anyone reading this is, or knows, someone who can help me out with “actually starting and running a service dog training program”, it’d be really great if you could point them my way. My side blog for this stuff is http://zekesgaggle.tumblr.com/

    If we could get this spread around it would help a lot <3 And if anyone thinks they can help directly, again, please get in touch.

 

lairofthegoblin  asked:

What are some of your favourite obscure Links YouTube videos?

ooh this is a fun one! i’m not positive exactly what is obscure and what’s not anymore, from my deep trash vantage point, but i’ll give it a try

Ars Nova speech
Lin talks about how Ars Nova nurtured the beginnings of Freestyle Love Supreme, and what he wants the last scene of the movie of his life to be
event playlist here
2015

The Polar Bears
Did you know Lin played a misfit polar bear cub in a 2013 short film of the Coca-Cola polar bears? Because Lin played a misfit polar bear cub in a 2013 short film of the Coca-Cola polar bears

Drunk freestyle at Joe’s Pub
I’m just an evangelist for this video, when I blog it it never really takes off–maybe because you might have to listen at least a few times to get most of the words because of the quality–but this is to me seriously the best freestyle of his I’ve seen and I love watching it so much, plus it’s basically all Broadway in-jokes so a lot of people here should enjoy that. And Tom Kitt on piano. Also relevant: there is a Lin Drunk History coming our way later this year…
2010

In the Heights flash mob
A flash mob welcomes In the Heights to LA by surprising Lin with “96,000”
2010

Writing the 2011 Tony Awards closer
Lin wrote the closing rap (performed by host Neil Patrick Harris) with Tommy Kail during the show
2013 Tony Awards opener
Do not miss this. It’s one of the biggest and most entertaining production numbers you will ever see. The word wondrous comes to mind. Lyrics by Lin, music by Tom Kitt, starring host Neil Patrick Harris. (Don’t miss the lines for aspiring theatre kids that will break/remake your heart.) And Lin and Kail wrote a closing rap during the show again, this time for Neil and Audra McDonald

Empire State of Mind with Another Hundred People
At the 2012 Lincoln Center American Songbook Series, which Lin kicked off on January 11 (Hamilton’s birthday incidentally) with a performance of songs from the Hamilton Mixtape

Empire State of Mind at Broadway on Broadway
This video gives you a good sense of the setting of the performance. This video gives you a good sense of Lin’s butt during the performance
2010

Talking about freestyling
With Freestyle Love Supreme
2013

Freestyle Love Supreme at Joe’s Pub
Lin takes “Neil Patrick Harris” and it’s oh so good. One of those freestyles where it kinda wraps around and builds to a really good climax (shut up I couldn’t think of another way to put it. yes, it’s satisfying too okay) (Lin’s referencing that big Tony number up above at the end of the video)
2013

Don’t Quit Your Night Job
Lin performing with Shockwave, mostly an epic Shock beatbox performance, last two and a half minutes Lin freestyling on audience suggestions he’s pulling out of a bag hanging from his elbow and it just makes me grin like crazy the whole time
2008

Oh, oh yeah. This. Lin freestyles his whole writing and theatre journey from childhood through In the Heights. It’s pretty beautiful and essential
2010

so i plumbed most all these from my playlist Lin-Manuel Miranda for Lintrash, which unfortunately is not in any order but has as of now over 130 videos that are probably relevant to your interests. i have a lot of Hamilton stuff collected on my channel too, plus some In the Heights and FLS

oh, if you haven’t seen it, you gotta see Hamilton Heights. and Lin’s sadsadconversations. OKay bYE

utterfanatic said:

Do names matter in a story? Like, is it bad if my protagonist’s name is common? Or is it bad if a couple characters’ names are similar?


Yes, names really do matter.

A bad name can pull your reader out of the story, diminish their enjoyment of the story, or even cause them not to finish the story. For that reason, names should:

1) Make sense for the character, setting, era, and genre of the story.

If your story takes place in Ohio, your characters shouldn’t all have Korean names unless they are, in fact, Korean. If your story is set in Victorian London, your main characters shouldn’t be named Jayden and Makayla, as those names would be anachronistic for that time period. If your story is a far-future space fantasy that takes place mostly on an alien planet, you probably don’t want all your characters to have names like Susan, Rhett, Jennifer, Brandyn, and Chloe. Far-future societies would likely be a “melting pot” of people from different locations on different planets, so one would expect a wide variety of names, some of which should sound alien and/or futuristic. A Jennifer or Brandyn here or there is no big deal, but you don’t want your character list in this story to sound like the cast list for an episode of The Partridge Family. If your story takes place in 2017 America, and your characters are all in the 16-17 age range, those characters should mostly have names that were popular on baby name lists around the year 2000. Luckily, lists for almost every year back to the early 1900s are available through a quick Google search. You can also find relevant names for every era and location, plus suggestions for sci-fi and fantasy names. There are lots of great name generators out there, too.

2) Be relatively easy to read/pronounce.

No one wants to read a story where the characters all have ridiculously difficult to pronounce names. Even one acrobatics-required name can cause reader complaint. Just look how angry people STILL are over “Renesmee.” 

3) Reflect the natural variety of names in any particular group.

Even if you’re limited by the time and place where your story is set, you still want to find some variety in other ways. You can have some repeat first letters, but there are 26 letters in the English alphabet. Unless you have a hundred or more characters, there’s no reason for there to be a lot of repetition with first letters. Also, remember you can vary length, have dual names like Maryann or Ray-Jon, and ending sounds.

4) Stand out among other names in the story.

While it’s fine to have main and secondary characters with names similar to minor characters (your protagonist is named Emmalyn while a friend’s aunt that appears briefly is Aunt Emily), you don’t want to have a protagonist named Brandon when you have a secondary character named Branson and another one named Brendan. 

If you’re having difficulty naming characters, have a look at my post Naming Your Characters for more help.

———————————————————————————–
Have a writing question? I’d love to hear from you! Prohibited asks: how to portray/describe (characters, emotions, situations), specialist knowledge requests (medical, military, mental health, etc.), asking for tropes/cliches or resources, triggering/controversial topics; broad, vague, or complex questions. Asks directed to other anons/askers. I get dozens of questions per day…please don’t ask if I got your question. See master list & main site for more info!

anonymous asked:

So I thought I'd send you this as an FYI to the Jonerys fandom to head over to gameofthrones(.)wikia(.)com and maybe start adding their voices to some of the pages for the Dragon and the Wolf page and other Jon/Dany related pages. The antis are out in force on the ep page right now trying to make not at all subtle and incorrect comments about incest and Emilia Clarke - the exact same arguments they're trying to make here on tumblr. That site really needs more pro-Jonerys editors for balance.

WOW They don’t even attempt to hide their little agenda. They end the recap of boatsex by saying aunt/nephew relationships would be problematic incest but make SURE to add that first cousins would be just fine and use Jon marrying Sansa as an example. 

To top it all off they include Emilia’s comments as if they are somehow relevant??? And conveniently keep Kit’s positive ones out. Is there any sect of this fandom that has not been penetrated by the small group of loud, radical Jxnsa people? Wtf.

I agree that some Jonerys or even just neutral voices should say something. I tried to leave a comment but it disappeared the moment I submitted so who knows? 

But I agree with anon–we as a fandom should POLITELY try to set the record straight. A lot of people read this wiki and it’s going to have the GA thinking these outright false claims about Jon and Dany are valid and guilt people who are supportive of their relationship. 

A Digression into Cold-Reading

Many people, particularly those of /r/scienceofdeduction, enjoy deductive exercises in which one is presented with a picture and from it, attempts to extract as much meaningful information as possible about the owner/taker/subject of the image. Much to the surprise of the original poster of the image, people can be quite good at this game. Personally, I love that people have taken the time out of their day to practice such things.

Unfortunately, community learning tends to suffer from a lack of rigor. One of the problems I have seen with games like this (problems which I attempt to avoid as much as humanly possible when engaging in this activity) is that people tend to conflate the ideas of “doing deductions” with something called “cold reading” in a(n) (sometimes subconscious) attempt to make their results sound more impressive.

Cold reading is a technique used both to gather information about a subject, and to artificially increase the validity or importance of the information already collected. It is used by magicians and performers who wish to appear more knowledgeable or perceptive than they actually are. While it can be quite entertaining, it strays from the art of detection in subtle ways that I will attempt to elaborate upon.


It’s Easy to Backpedal
 
First of all, those who perform cold reading will often wrap their assertions in uncertainty by using words such as “perhaps” or “maybe” or “possibly.”

It’s fine to be unsure, but be sure the parties involved are aware of your uncertainty in order to avoid stepping over the line into being overtly mysterious. A good rule of thumb I use is that if someone were to announce that they had proof that your deduction was incorrect, it would have to be iron-clad evidence to even introduce a shred of doubt into your mind.

Always lean towards saying too little, keeping the rest for further meditation than saying too much, forcing other people to cherry-pick the facts from the guesses.





 

It’s Vague

Cold readers rely HEAVILY on what I’ll call “fortune-cookie statements.” You’ve seen them. They are those phrases you see so often in horoscopes that say things like, “You’ve recently suffered a loss of some kind,” or “you tend to get stressed when your plans fall apart.”

These phrases might have some truth to them, but be wary - it is only the truth that you yourself ascribe to them. That’s the point. A cold-reader doesn’t know the truth, so they say things that allow the audience/mark to fill in the blanks in their own mind. They can be dangerous as they tend to create the idea that the cold-reader has an incredibly complete picture of the subject and is thus qualified to make personally relevant statements, knowing that the subject will know what it means. It is not the case.

Fortunately, there is an easy 2-part vagueness test one can apply to statements such as these. It goes as follows:

  1. Is this statement true for lots of people? Not what you think the statement refers to, but the literal statement itself. Most people experience “loss of some kind” many times a week.
  2. Are the supporting reasons for the statement clear? While intuition is a powerful source of detecting power, a good detective should at least be able to articulate a reason for a particular assumption. (Ex: “The table seemed weird, perhaps because of the empty space in the middle here. It feels like there should be something there due to the arrangement of the other items.”)
If the statement is true for many people, discount it. If the statement is unfounded, discount it.


It’s Not Truth-Seeking

Cold-reading is certainly a skill that takes a lot of practice to cultivate. It can be a wonderful means of extracting information when necessary, and tends to create a dramatic flair which so many of us are quite fond of.

Sadly, because it lacks the rigor of detection, it cannot be relied upon as a means of advancing one’s knowledge, only a means of suggesting new places to look for it.

Any method of collecting information that depends for its effectiveness on the receptive nature of its subject cannot accurately be called detection. Perhaps it falls into the purview of interrogation. In any case, cold-reading is less about getting the truth and more about the appearance of doing so.




Beware fellow detectives of inadvertently saying more than you know. You may appear clever, but it’s much harder to improve as a result. Cold-reading allows for a sort of safety-net when making wilder assumptions. We don’t need it.

This is not meant to be a lecture - I am guilty of relying on a safety-net from time to time as well. It is meant to be a reminder that the truly great detectives don’t require one, and that practicing with one is good until it ceases to be helpful.

Happy deducing!
2

HOW TO BLOCK TAGS

Hello my loves. Turns out a lot of people don’t know how to block tags! And honestly, one of the worst things in Ramadan is taking a Tumblr break, trying to distract yourself from the hunger, only to come across a delicious food post. SO CHECK IT OUT:

1. Download Tumblr Savior: literally type in tumblr savior into the google search bar and it should come up. 

2. Add Relevant Tags into the Black List: I added food, drinks, food porn, as well as a bunch of random words like cake, chocolate, strawberries, nsfw, sexy, hot, bikini, stuff like that. I even added fitness to the tag, since I’ve already gotten my fitness routine figured for Ramadan and more often than not fitness models are in tiny amounts of clothing.

Voila, you’re done.

If you’re a non Muslim, please be a considerate by tagging your posts appropriately! I promise every Muslim follower you have will be grateful!

I hope this reaches you in the best state of health and eman. much love guys

Some quick notes from Matt's Twitter Live chat

Because I couldn’t live tweet during it:

Matt got rock candy for Valentine’s Day and suspects it’s from Kat

He loved last night’s episode, his favorite scene was Jace and Simon in the bar. He also thought Alec and Magnus were really sweet and are working really hard to make it work.

Re: Izzy last night. Emeraude deserves a round of applause, and Alec is too preoccupied to notice what’s wrong with his sister, so that’s a big failing. “Hopefully he doesn’t use violence to solve the problem but logically discusses this.” (Basically, Alec is going to use violence.)

Valentine’s Day is for calling people you love and telling them. It’s not just about romantic love, and also he and Jade had a conversation earlier about how it’s about moving from apathy and loving all things. He later Matt commented that the hearts on the side of the screen are for Valentine’s Day, because you should tell people you love them on Valentine’s Day: family, friends, everything.


Re: Meliorn. Jade is really great, we’ll see more of him soon.

Matt said he gives a lot of spoilers, and we only catch about half of them.

Re: 2x08. There are vibes of the AU episode, but it’s highly relevant to storyline, there are discussions of things that have been bottled up, and we’ll see interactions between Magnus/Alec and understanding more of them and their healthy relationship.

After being notified it was almost time to film, he started looking at the script off screen while he chats.

anonymous asked:

So wrt gender you think that facts don't matter, but only the opinion of the person referred to? The reasonable opinion here is of course that pronouns refer to sex, which people can decide in most cases based on bodily features. If the situation is less clear you should take what a person says about themselves in good faith. Of course, when they say they were born as a man but now decided to live as a woman, so you should refer to them by female pronouns, this means their sex is probably male.

‘facts don’t matter’ - how someone identifies is a fact. What was written on their birth certificate is also a fact. We are debating whether we want to use a concept of gender that means 1) or 2) or something else. Disagreeing about which facts should be most relevant to category membership is not ‘thinking facts don’t matter’. 

Ideas about there being two distinct genders always had edge cases and have lots more edge cases now that there are more options available for various kinds of transition. I think that opinions about how to sort the edge cases should justify themselves in terms of the degree to which they match the experiences of the people referred to, the degree to which they are flexible enough to account for more edge cases in the future as even more options for transition become available, the degree to which the information you’re trying to use for sorting is available to most people doing the sorting, and the degree to which they capture our intuitions about gender (but keeping in mind that our intuitions are malleable). ‘sort edge cases by identification’ does much better along these criteria than ‘sort edge cases by what was written on birth certificate’, which is why I prefer it. 

There are of course other opinions, like ‘sort edge cases by genitals’ and ‘sort edge cases by physical appearance’ and ‘sort edge cases by some kind of legal gender-change process and a social agreement to respect legal gender’ and ‘sort edge cases by DNA testing for chromosomes’ and ‘sort edge cases by haircut’ and so on. Most of these do pretty poorly by the ‘match the experiences of the people so categorized’ criterion and the ‘the information you’re trying to use is available to most people’ criterion, and on the whole the sorting procedure that achieves the most of my desiderata remains ‘sort by identification’. 

If you cared a lot less than me about describing the experiences of the people you’re discussing and a lot more than me about stability of a rule over time or something, then you might prefer a different rule, but I still don’t think you’d end up with ‘birth certificate’. (And if you tell people ‘yeah, you’re an edge case and I decided on a sorting procedure for edge cases which abjectly fails to capture your actual experiences, because I didn’t value that very much and I cared a lot more about stability of a rule’, then they are entitled to go ‘well, my sorting procedure for identifying assholes who I don’t want to waste any time on just flagged you big time’.)

The reasonable opinion here is of course that pronouns refer to sex…

I don’t really find that opinion very reasonable. Like, to be clear, what you’re attempting to do is propose and defend a sorting procedure that handles edge cases, yes? Your proposed procedure is kind of underspecified, because I don’t know what you mean by ‘sex’ - genitals? chromosomes? hormone balance? the way the body would have developed absent medical intervention? the way the body would have developed with medical interventions but not ones related to the desire to transition? (so you can capture people who needed hormone supplementation for non-transition reasons?) - but more than that, I am really not seeing any reason to expect that your proposed sorting procedure captures more of what I care about than mine. You’d need to do better than asserting it uses facts and is ‘of course’ the ‘reasonable’ one. 

Honestly,

Haechan is awesome. He’s only 16 yet he’s already so perfect. He’s a Visual in his own way. He’s talented and slays whatever choreography is thrown at him. His personality is amazing and he’s humble and acknowledges his fans despite all that. He doesn’t deserve the hate and neither does any other member of NCT. Haechan has been through a lot and if people actually paid attention to him they’d know that. At least we do know that he’s relevant enough for people to start rumors about him. Maybe you haters should spend your time figuring out why you’re such assholes. #Haechanprotectionsquad

Seungcheol/Jeonghan Analysis

Okay so first, these are just my opinions. Based off of observations and personality analysis by caratsvt8060 on instagram, I came up with some analysis of my own. (You should go follow her account! She updates a lot and all of her posts are really uplifting and encouraging! :D)

Once again. These are just my opinions based off of what I’ve observed.


So I’m not sure how relevant this still is, but a lot of people used to think Jeongcheol was propaganda. Over time though, I think they’ve proven themselves enough to where fans now know that any feelings (platonic or not) are genuine.

That being said, I want to say how I see jeongcheol as a unit and how Seungcheol indeed effects Jeonghan.

First, I feel like Jeonghan gets into these “moods” sometimes in which he kind of draws into himself and distances himself away from people. That would include Seungcheol and other members as well. (This is how that one-sided love thing started. It may seem one sided in certain moments but I think it’s because of whatever is on Jeonghan’s mind. He gets distracted and in turn, becomes more reserved.)

It was a lot more prominent pre-debut and for you Jeonghan stans that follow absolutely everything our angel does, you may notice it sometimes during shows or meets or lives, etc. And it isn’t a type of thing that I feel is extreme, and it isn’t hindering, but it’s definitely something I’ve noticed and that’s probably due to me always watching him 😂.

I follow a lot of JH pages and during Boom Boom era, I noticed a bunch of pictures/videos were coming in from fansigns and other promotions and he was just kind of down? There was a specific time in which every pic surfacing of him was one of him not smiling or giving a very teeny Mona Lisa smile. Not saying he has to smile every second of the day, but we know his genuine smile and it’s much different then it was in the appearances. (if I wasn’t so lazy, I’d find them and link them.) There were times I’d look at updates and be like “is he okay?” This could be because of anything really, but I think it’s interesting to note.

Another example was in their 2nd anniversary V live. He wandered for a majority of it and was quite drawn in during some of their more hype moments. He seemed kind of distracted. If you noticed it too, lemme know.

I feel like he has his reasons for distancing himself sometimes (not sure what they are) but I don’t even think he does it intentionally. Maybe he’s just lost in thought. And whatever is on his mind sort of involuntarily makes him detach from situations. Now here’s where Seungcheol comes in.

This is a bit obvious, but I think Cheol spoils Jeonghan. Not in the sense of him blindly following him and giving him everything he wants, but in the sense that he checks on him a lot. One of the posts from the page I mentioned earlier was like “Jeonghan is the type to show his emotions a lot” (paraphrasing) and I began to notice it more. This was even said by the members in a channel plus interview.

Seungcheol watches him and checks on him a lot so when he notices him becoming more reserved, he tries to make him smile and make him interact more, pulling him out of his shell. This also goes into the idea that Seungcheol initiates most of the interactions. He just has an eye out for Hannie because he knows him and knows his tendencies.

I think how Seungcheol treats Jeonghan really affects how his personality appears on screen. Seungcheol is a hype man for him. We’ve all seen this whenever he sings, Seungcheol is around to encourage him. He gives him confidence. Jeonghan sometimes still has his shy side and insecurities. He’s admitted that to us during fansigns and whatnot. He’s definitely gotten better, I’d say, but i think Cheol is his reminder. He’s also been doing it for a long time so checking on Jeonghan just seems like second nature.

Cue cute moments.

Also also also, Cheol is more direct in a way. So his way of taking care of Jeonghan is a lot different then how Jeonghan takes care of Cheol. But that’s for another day.

When somebody says that they appreciate a thing in a relationship, it seems like a lot of people try and squash that with a “um that should be normal in a relationship” and they’re not wrong. But you know what else should be normal in a relationship? Appreciating your significant other. Yeah I get excited over standard relationship stuff. But it’s okay to feel loved and appreciate those things even when they are expected of a normal, loving relationship.

A good warm-up shouldn't take more than 10-12 minutes.

I see a lot of people foam rolling, doing dynamic stretches and performing activation drills for 20 minutes or more, and quite frankly, you’re just wasting your time. Pick 2-3 dynamic stretches that are relevant to what you’re training that day, and 1-2 activation drills based on your specific imbalances/weaknesses. Follow that up with maybe 3 minutes of an aerobic warm-up (again, depending on what your goal of the session is), and BAM! You’re good to go. More is not always better. You should aim to be deliberate with your warm-up routines.