this short was actually kind of heartbreaking

[ i feel i should mention that these cat videos and gifs i reblog are mostly crack bc the idea of whis liking earth cats or finding them cute strikes me as hilarious and kind of endearing. but i don’t think he has an actual interest in having a pet cat himself. given how short their lives are, especially in reference to his own lifespan, it’d just be asking for heartbreak tbh ]

anonymous asked:

Hi! One of my main characters gets choked in a sort-of fight in the chapter I'm writing. I wanted to have another character comforting them later on, but I'm not sure if the emotional damage inflicted upon the injured character when they got choked would prevent them from letting anyone touch their neck again, even in a comforting way. This obviously varies from person to person, but i was curious to see what you thought. Thank you!

The exciting thing about trauma is that what accounts for a traumatic experience completely depends on the person. Like you said, it varies from person to person! 

However, there are some common elements.
For example, being helpless or unable to escape danger or a frightening situation usually makes things much worse. The classic responses to danger are fight and flight, which I’m sure you’ve heard of before. Being able to fight or flee is usually a positive– your body can process all of the stress responses that gear up when you are afraid. What happens when you can’t fight or flee? The other, less talked-about fear responses are freeze, and fawn. ‘Freeze’ refers to when you ‘freeze up’, and can’t move to do anything. Whether its basis is in a ‘it can’t see you if you don’t move’ kind of logic, or if it’s just your brain shorting out trying to decide between running and fighting. ‘Fawn’ is something that happens when someone is reliant on the (usually a person) putting them in danger for their survival, and try to placate or distract. 

Additionally, there are times when you are physically helpless– and you can’t do anything at all. There’s an (actually heartbreaking) study about pavlov’s dogs who were stuck in their kennels during a flood who survived, but became the textbook example for ‘learned helplessness’– when someone finds that they are functionally helpless, they stop trying. 

There are also variables of personal phobia, repeat or prolonged exposure, the personality of the person in question, how they’ve learned to deal with things… to bust out my favorite Jenny Holzer -ism,

“By your response to danger, it is easy to tell how you have lived and what has been done to you. You show whether you want to stay alive, whether you think you deserve to, and whether you believe it’s any good to act.”

What makes things less traumatic?
Two things that I think are important to consider here are training, and control. Having a sense of control over a situation makes it much, much less scary. It’s the difference between voluntarily getting on a roller coaster and being dropped off a building. Back when I was tiny and liked rock climbing at the gym, sometimes if I got nervous from the height, I would purposefully lean into my harness to remind myself that even if I slipped or let go, I wouldn’t fall. Being in control makes you feel safe– and you have the option to quit if you start to panic or be overwhelmed. 
Training or acclimation can also be a big deal. Things that are generally agreed to be scary tend to be less so if you do it every day. Knowing What To Do also gives people enough of a sense of control to feel safer (and makes you less likely to freeze up).
In your specific example of someone being choked in a fight, The Thing To Do is to stay calm, tuck your chin, and do what you can with your hands to keep them getting a good grip while you figure out how you’re going to wiggle out. If they don’t know that, feeling helpless is going to make it worse. If they’re pretty into a kind of grappling that allows chokes or something like that, they know what to do and they’ve gotten more used to the hindbrain panic kick of ‘we need air to breathe oh shit damn’– but how will practicing in a gym full of people who don’t want to cause lasting damage and will quit immediately if the person taps compare to a fight-fight? Have they been in fight-fights before? This is some of where the personal experience and phobia comes in– one person’s horrible, frightening experience can be another person’s Sunday.   

How people are affected by something traumatic also varies wildly from person to person. If, as in your example, touching someone’s neck is a trigger to that experience, they could respond in a variety of ways. Some people might have a panic attack. Others instinctively retaliate to what their brain tells them is an attack. A person might dissociate, which can really suck if the toucher doesn’t understand that the touchee freezing up means ‘stop that immediately’. A person might just really hate having their dang neck touched. 

If being touched a certain way is a trigger, would that person ever be okay with it again? Maybe, maybe not. Exposure therapy is a thing, but do bear in mind that the difference between exposure and re-traumatizing someone is their willingness and control of the situation. Would your character want to feel comfortable with someone touching them again, or are they cool with being The Person Who Hates Having Their Dang Neck Touched? Again, it depends on the individual. 

Finally… if someone was choked in a fight, probably nobody should be touching their neck in the same chapter! What people tend to forget in fiction is that putting a chokehold on someone often does damage them– ranging from bruises to ruining the trachea (yikes!). Even a relatively ‘safe’ hold like a blood choke is not good for your brain if you pass out. At the very least, your character will probably have some discomfort for a while– so even if it was just another Sunday for them, I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t want anybody messing with it for a while!

Okay, I hope that helped answer your question! Good luck out there.

-Evvy

enigmaticdr  asked:

also I know you've written it already a couple times but I'm so weak for the pregnancy/murderbaby trope fics

i am WEAK for this one too. i know a lot of people hate pregnancy/kidfic but i think it’s only bad if it turns into some kind of saccharine ooc fest. with these two, there’s all this drama and potential heartbreak and two very smart people being taken completely by surprise and it just gives me SO MANY FEELS. 

So I’ve written accidental pregnancy where Hanners is the daddy and one short ficlet where it’s someone else (and he is insanely jealous). The one thing I haven’t written is them actually wanting and trying to have a baby…maybe that’s the one I’d write next if I wrote another murderbaby fic. 

anonymous asked:

i just watched fantastic beasts yesterday too and though i felt like it wasn't so great in terms of characters (i mean i get that they're gonna develop them but they felt slightly bland) i was so emotional at the end when Credence straight up got murdered?? like?? he didn't deserve that he's just sad and abused by everyone he's ever loved give j k rowling him a break pls

SPOILERS

I agree with pretty much everything you said. It was an enjoyable movie and I’m definitely looking forward to more from this series, but the overall character development left something to be desired.

Newt is a sweetheart, and they are definitely teasing more about his character including his relationship with Leta Lestrange, but other than the fact that he’s a pure cinnamon roll who loves magical animals we didn’t learn a lot about him. Although I did get emotional when he went to give Pickett away. 

Originally posted by jokerofish

The members of the Magical Congress were shortchanged too. Again, I’m sure they will be explored in depth over the next four movies. But poor Percival really got the short end of the stick. We never get to see what kind of person he actually was. And I have a feeling he would have been an interesting character.

Originally posted by nifflersandmooncows

Credence was the only one who got a proper character arc, and it was a heartbreaking one at that. I wish we could have seen more of him in the following films. It would have been fascinating to see wizards dealing with an untrained and abused man like Credence, and what he could have become with their help and training.  

Originally posted by lilithinmymind

anonymous asked:

What is your opinion on himawari? Why do you not trust her?

I saved this for a couple of weeks so I could give it my proper attention. 

Because my opinion of Himawari has changed a little bit lately, I wanted to answer this with as much detail as I can. 

My distrust of Himawari mostly came from a few panels right a the start of the story. Namely this one here:

Which in hindsight doesn’t seem quite as ominous as it seemed at the time, but it definitely matched my opinion of her back then. Her hair and uniform seemed eerily similar to the visual style of everyone on Evil Wolverine’s staff roll too, so I was naturally very suspicious of everything happening with her. 

Recently I’ve warmed to her a lot more, mostly because of this:

Because I am all on board with people looking after Watanuki, and this is the clearest signal I’ve had that she genuinely cares for his well being and will go out of her way to ensure he is ok. Watanuki is desperately short on people in his life, and it makes me very happy to think that Himawari does actually consider him a good friend.

So Himawari has the greenlight from me at the moment. But do I trust her?

Kind of. 

I’m more convinced than ever that she has no ulterior motive at this point in time. But because this is CLAMP, and they are masters of heartbreak, I’m still expecting the theme of “reversal of expectations” to come full swing at one point or another. Watanuki doesn’t want Doumeki around, but having him around is purely a good thing with good consequences. So in reverse of that, Watanuki does want Himawari around, so I’m expecting something terrible to come out of that - eventually anyway. I have no idea when or how. 

But let’s pause that line of thinking for the moment. Instead, let’s zoom out and consider Himawari’s general position in the plot of xxxHolic as of right now. If we take her role in the story and the way she’s framed in general, I adore her and everything she stands for so so much. 

Because this is a story about teenagers. And the main character is a boy. 

And the main character is completely enamored with her. 

And if this series was being written by anyone else, the “expected thing” would be for her to reciprocate these feelings. She would, overtime, “come to realise” Watanuki’s good points and he would “win her over”. And it’s terrible, because in that kind of storyline the boy is presented as being “right” and the girl is “in the wrong” if she doesn’t return his affections. The story demands that she must fall in love with the main character, completely disregarding everything else in her life including her own autonomy. 

Himawari flies in the face of this trope so blatantly and so directly that I can’t help but fall in love with CLAMP all over again. Himawari doesn’t return Watanuki’s feelings. She doesn’t even realise he has feelings for her - and yes, this is played up for humorous effect, but she’s never portrayed as being wrong. 

The plot doesn’t pressure her to return his feelings and she’s never called out by other character. Himawari is just portrayed as the ray of sunshine that she is; her feelings are valid and correct for her and that’s the end of the story.

And while things might change in the future, right now I adore this about her.