this shit makes me laugh uncontrollably

The scroll of Un-knowledge

It was my first time DMing, only after i played mere two sessions, but i was still however, the most experienced person on the group,we were trying to to a classic prison escape and the party members were:, a monk dragonborn, a rogue doppelganger, a half drow half high elf alchemist and a human mage(needless to say, he wasn’t as creative as the others). They all got stuck in a secret library with an ogre on the next room, and everyone decided to look around for useful things.

(Dragonborn):I look around to see if there any, i dunno, magic scroll i guess?

(Me):Fine i guess

(Dragonborn):(Rolls 9)

(Me): Hidden in the bookshelf you find mesmerizing scroll, with all the magic thingys floating around it, however, it is Ancient(thinking no one knows Ancient because i’m one of those DM’s)


(Me):Wait, you do?(in my head: dang it, i haven’t thought of anything to put on it)

(Me):Uh, well, roll the d20 to see what you get

(Mage)[OoC]:Yuss, i’m finally gonna have one of those fancy spells, i can finally stop spamming magic arrows!

(Mage)[OoC]:*rolls dice* uh, you know what, i don’t think i wanna read it anymore.

(Me):why is that?*looks to see the dice, it is a nat 1*

(Me):*Grins evilly*

(Me): While you read the ancient text, the symbols begin to shamble around you, your eyes gaze through the ancient script, and when you get to the end of the page, you’ve become significantly dumber. You lose 1 Intelligence and 1 Wisdom point.

(Mage):*silently swears at me*

(Everyone else):*Laughs uncontrollably*

On the end of the session after that he decides he didnt like playing a mage and wants to make a new character, so the excuse i give is that he became so dumb that he lied on the floor sucking his thumb while everyone else exited the prison.

Dirty Sights Taint Pure Minds

So hey guys. Ik, i haven’t really been active on Tumblr in a million years so I want to apologize. I felt that I needed to take a break from Tumblr because it was putting unnecessary pressure on me to get new stuff out everyday. Which is something that is IMPOSSIBLE with my schedule. All in all it was stressing me out and making my anxiety flare up, something I’ve been working for the last two years to get under control. I still LOVE Tumblr, but I don’t know if I will be returning until the summer starts and my schedule relaxes. I love you all I just want you to know that, but I feel that my mental health is important. So, on a happier or smuttier note, here is my fic for Ash’s 2nd Writing Challenge. Please everyone go follow her and read her stuff. She is a really big inspiration to me just because she is an amazing writer and a supercool, openminded and understanding person. If everyone on Tumblr was like her than Tumblr would be better like magically going to school with Harry, Hermione and Ron and being their best friend. And who the frick can top that? Anyway, enjoy. I wish I had put more time into this, but I’m trying not to be a perfectionist so here is my un-perfect fic. Luv ya all! @flames-bring-a-ton-of-ash

Request: Me because I wanted to join in on the smutty fun of Ash’s challenge

Summary: Read whats in bold ;)

Characters: Negan, OC - Amara and OC - Anita (Negan x Amara)

POV: Third POV

Warnings: Smut. Negan’s cursing. Age Difference. Unprotected sex. 

Dirty Sights Taint Pure Minds

“You want me to make you feel like a woman, baby girl? You want me to touch your body in all the places your father told you to never let anyone? You want daddy to make that succulent cunt squirt all over my sheets over and over and over again? Do you want daddy to show you what fun we can have blind? Tell daddy you want him to fucking destroy that tight little virgin pussy of yours, baby girl.”

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Hurts Like Crazy: Jerome Valeska x Reader (Fluff)

So I got a request that asked: “It crossed my mind that Jerome’s face is probably really sore because of all the staples. I was wondering if you could do a imagine where Jerome and the reader are just relaxing at home in their pajamas and he like groans in pain or something because of his face and his SO the reader proceeds to straddle him and lightly kiss the staples on his face as she cradles his face in her tiny hands and they have a little moment, maybe a joke here and there. Also sorry about my English 😊”

This story only contains swearing, enjoy! Takes place during Season 3. I got some of these jokes off the internet.


Jerome sauntered into the living room with his red robe he had retrieved from a resale shop, while also his striped pajamas underneath.You had taken them from Galavan’s apartment when he died. You couldn’t find the robe, but you’re glad he found it. You were wearing pajama pants and a sleep shirt. Jumping over the couch to sit next to you he clapped his hands,
“What are we watching?”
“You can pick, I got all the horror movies on the table right here.”
He gasped in awe, “Aw, you kept my movies!”
“Why wouldn’t I? I like horror too Jerome.”
“Oh right, sorry. The good old noggin still doesn’t remember a few things.”

When he took back his face from Dwight and stapled it back, his task was to find you, and he did. It wasn’t that hard because he had almost ran you over when he fled the exploding building that Dwight was in. You yelled at him for that and cried your eyes out, but the two of you ending up kissed each other and headed back to your apartment.
“How about we watch Rosemary’s Baby?”
“Jerome, you picked my favorite. Seriously, you can pick anything.”
“It is? I thought you liked Saw?”
You barfed in your mouth when he said that, and he chuckled, “You never liked it? After how many times did we watch it? What was it, over twenty times?”
“I thought you liked it?” You gagged.
“Not really.”
“Are you kidding me?”
“No, I’m being very serious.” He told you as he made a fish face, causing you to giggle.
“Just put the DVD in you goof!”

The two of you hugged each other as you watched the movie. It was nice feeling his chest against your head again. “Hey, wanna hear some jokes?” Jerome whispered in your ear.
“Okay, go for it.”
“Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.” Jerome snickered, causing you to cackle. “I bet Greenwood is rotting in his grave when you told that joke!”
He laughs louder, “Oh shit you’re right!”
“Do another one!”
“I’d tell you a chemistry joke, but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction!” He giggled the last part.

He kept telling jokes through the entire movie, making you uncontrollably howl.
Eventually he began to rub his face with his hand, groaning in pain.
Furrowing your eyebrows you asked, “What’s wrong Jerome?”
“It’s nothing gorgeous, want me to tell you another joke?” He grinned, and you frowned.
Straddling his lap, you cupped his face in your hands and kissed him.
Going away from his lips you rasped, “Is it the staples? I told I could’ve sewn it back on you know.”

He huffed before saying, “I know, I just look…cooler.”
“Is that even a word?” You giggled as you kissed his face all over. Hoping it would take his mind off the pain. “I don’t know, and stop it.”
“Stop what?” You teased as you began to kiss his neck, before sucking lightly.
His hands gripped your waist as he growled, “(Y/n), stop it. Or else…”
“Or else what?” You smirked before he began to tickle your stomach, causing you to laugh.
“I’ll tickle you to death!”
“Jerome! S-Stopff! Bahaha!”

When he had stopped tickling you, he intertwined his hands in yours before whispering,
“Thank you.”
“Your Welcome.” You kissed his lips.
The two of noticed that it was the end credits and you whined, “Aw, you didn’t get to watch the movie.”
“It’s fine. I like you more than anything. I love you.” He confessed, and you gasped.
“I love you too!” You hugged him happily as he laughed, “I know I never really said that but I’ll say it more often.”

Making a small yawn, you stretched your arms before closing your eyes, “You better.”
“Aw, are you tired?”
Carrying you in his arms, he tucked the two of you in bed, hugging you from behind as he caressed your hair before falling asleep as well.

Midnight Shenanigans

Author: @sincerelystiles
Pairing: Theo x Reader
Word Count: 1,678

Warnings: kissing, swearing, mature language, teasing, fingering, unprotected sex

Originally posted by training-wolves

It had been a long day, and it was only four in the afternoon. However, in your defence, you had been up most of the night due to your brothers erratic nightmares; his screaming surely waking the whole neighbourhood and putting Lydia to shame. 

A soft knock against your bedroom door snaps you from your thoughts as you notice your brother leaning against the wall, a small smile on his face. “Y/N, I’m going to see Lydia. Dad’s working late, you gonna be okay or you wanna come?” He asks, shoving his hands into his jean pockets as he rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet.

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4: This Is Where I Leave You

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: The day Bucky Barnes stumbles into your clinic with a bullet in his side is the day your life changed forever.

Warnings: unprotected sex (remember to wrap it people), brief mentions of blood/gore stuff

A/N: hey hey! so its been a while, but i just got a burst of inspiration for this story and smashed out this part! i hope you enjoy :) let me know what you think!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Dreams of Syria are not unusual, and they always go something like this: the bone deep rumble of distant explosions, crumbling plaster raining in dust clouds around you, the wailing of those mourning the dead. You’re in the hospital, and it’s falling down around you but you can’t move an inch. People are screaming at you to help them, limbs half falling off and wounds so deep you can see organs spilling out, the shock-white of bone beneath blood that’s too red. You can’t help them, because you can’t move. You’re stuck.

When you wake up, every muscle in your body is stiff and sore. In this nightmare you lock up, paralysed, while you watch the world burn around you. You wake up with the guilt of having done nothing, of letting people die, and it stays with you for the rest of the day. And the day after that. Maybe it stays with you forever.

This time, you wake up to someone stroking your hair and calling your name.

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Secrets || Brooklyn Beckham

Originally posted by musleraninbordoformasi

Anon: Can you do one with brooklyn beckham where you have a moment with him and he tells you a secret (it can be anything) and theres sexual tension until you finally give up and you make out rly passionately but stopping bc hes breathless and he blushes?

So here’s another one. I’ll try to post more often but I don’t know if I can make that. But at least I’ll try ☺️💋


“Okay, fine,” I whined playfully, “let’s play a game. Gosh, I’d never thought you’d hate that movie that much.”

Brooklyn chuckled. “I’m sorry, I just don’t like Dylan O’Brien as much as you do. What game do you want to play?”

“First,” I began, “I don’t just like Dylan, I love him.”

“Hey! I’m the one you’re supposed to love!” Brooklyn protested with a slight smirk around his lips.

I just ignored his saying. “Second of all, let’s play twenty-one-questions.”

Brooklyn shrugged. “Fine by me. But first, tell me I’m the one you love.”

“Fine. I love you.”

“Well thanks you love me so passionately, princess.” Brooklyn rolled his eyes at me and I laughed, pressing a kiss on his cheek.

“Okay, me first,” I said, feeling already excited. I thought of the things I could ask him. “Gosh, I already know so much about you. I don’t even know what I don’t know about you.” Brooklyn laughed softly and shook his head in amusement. “Ooh! I know something. You’ve never told me what you’re afraid of. So, what are you afraid of?”

Brooklyn shrugged again. “Simple,” he said, “losing you.”

“No, seriously,” I chuckled, feeling flared.

“I am. I’m scared to lose you. You’re the one who keeps me down to earth and everything. You make me keep holding my head up when things don’t go like I expected them to be. You’re holding me up, (y/n).”

My cheeks flushed red in every second he kept talking until they couldn’t be more red. “That’s so sweet, Brook,” I said softly. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” he smiled. “Now it’s my turn, baby.” I smiled at him. “If you had to choose between me and you’re so loved dog, who would you choose?”

I began to laugh uncontrollably. “What question is that?” I laughed. “I asked you some deep shit and you ask me this.”

Brooklyn frowned, while he chuckled, something that made him look so cute. “Well, your question wasn’t that deep, though. Now, answer my question.”

“No,” I said. I crossed my arms before my chest and saw how Brooklyn sent me a confused look. “I don’t ask you to choose between me and your mom either. That’s just sick.”

Brooklyn began to laugh. “You can’t compare this question with your argument either, babe,” he chuckled.

“I can,” I said stubbornly.


“Fine, I’d choose for my dog,” I sighed. Brooklyn raised his eyebrows in disbelieve and I laughed softly. “Joking, I’d choose you, you moron.”

“You better do.”

“Next question,” I smirked. This time, I didn’t have to think long. “Tell me your biggest secret.”

“You serious?” Brooklyn looked at me with no expressions on his face, so I just nodded in response and didn’t say anything. “Okay, let me think.” He fell silence for a moment, then opened his mouth. “I once asked a girl to let me touch her boobs when I was drunk. So the next day she texted me, telling me this and I had to pay her to let her shut her mouth about it.”

I stared at him for a while, not knowing what to say. I’d never thought Brooklyn would ask a girl something like that, he’s such a nice and kind boy. Then I began to laugh hysterically. “Are you serious?”

Though, Brooklyn didn’t laugh. “It’s not funny, (Y/N). Ever since, I’d never drank that much, only one beer, I think. Seriously.”

I couldn’t stop laughing, all though I felt so sad for him. “I’m sorry, but I just never thought you’d ask a girl something like that.” I began to laugh again and had to hold my stomach, trying to less the pain.

“You asked me to tell you my biggest secret and I trusted you with it,” Brooklyn began with a quite angry tone. “Then you just laugh at me straight in the face!”

My smile quickly faded away by seeing the mad expression on his face and I quickly wrapped my arms around his waist. “I’m sorry,” I said softly, “I didn’t mean to. It’s just, the way you told it. I could imagine it, but you’re right, it’s not funny at all.”

Brooklyn sighed. “It was stupid.”

“It was,” I agreed, “but it’s in the past now.” I just hugged him in silence for a few minutes, then finally got the balls to open my mouth, trying to ask him a question. “Can I ask you something?” Brooklyn hummed. “Did the girl ask you to give her money, so she kept silence? Or did you just pay her without her asking for it?”

“She kinda threatened me,” Brooklyn sighed again. “I didn’t want to, at first. But she kept saying small things about that night to some paparazzi, so finally I just gave her the money.”

“That’s awful,” I said.

“It is.”

“But it’s in the past now,” I repeated my words from a couple of minutes ago, “so leave it behind.”

“You’re sweet,” Brooklyn smiled.

“You too,” I smiled back, “that’s why I kind of couldn’t imagine you asking that.”

“You just told me to leave it behind.”

I felt my cheeks flush red and Brooklyn laughed, pressing his lips softly on mine. I smiled against his lips and I felt his tongue sliding against my bottom lip. I opened my mouth and his tongue instantly touched mine. I smiled again and he pulled me on his lap, me placing each leg on each of his sides. My hands were tangled in his hair, his hands resting on my lower back, just above my butt. The kiss began to heat up some more and a soft, little moan left my mouth. We began to feel a bit out of breath and I felt Brooklyn harden against my thigh, what made me blush so extremely hard.

“I think we need to stop here, before we go any further,” I whispered against his lips.

“Hmm,” Brooklyn mumbled.

I pulled away and saw him blushing too. His cheeks were red and he slowly unwrapped his arms from my waist. I placed my hands on his cheeks and rubbed his cheekbones with my thumbs.

“I’m sorry,” Brooklyn mumbled again, “I didn’t want to get a boner or anything. It just happ-“

“Brooklyn,” I chuckled softly, “I know. Such things just happen okay. Let’s watch another movie.”

Brooklyn smiled, pulled me against his chest. I let my head rest on his chest while he pressed a soft kiss on my hairline. Oh, how I love this guy.

Best convo I've had about George's face while playing drums

Mom:“What is the drummer doing?”
Mom:“His face?” *laughs uncontrollably*
Me: “Ya, a lot of people seem to give him shit for that.”
Mom:“Does he have Tourettes? ”
Me:“I just think he’s getting into the music.”
Mom:“That’s not a face you make when you get into it.”

INSOMNIA - Taehyung

Original Request :  Could you maybe do a scenario where the reader has insomnia and can’t sleep and taehyung tries to help them fall asleep?? Please and thank you! Love your blog!

Originally posted by vminv

Word count : 994

Genre : Fluff

I apologize for any grammatical or mistake in general, please keep in mind that English isn’t my first language

Friday, 21st of October, Bangtan’s 2nd win at Mcountdown. As usual, the band decided that tonight will be a celebration night, and even thought they should, they wouldn’t get much sleep. Taehyung especially loved these nights, full of joy, happiness and laughter, all the worries and the stress left behind with just smiles plastered on their faces.

After thanking the fan with some cute selcas on twitter and changing into more comfy clothes, the evening could begin. They ranted their favorite karaoke room with some soju and snacks before starting the first song.

Her on the other side, was alone in her little apartment downtown, desperate to found some sleep. She knew what day it was, she knew that her boyfriend wouldn’t be there any soon tonight, she should be happy because it meant that he had won yet another music show and that he was busy celebrating with his hyungs, but no. It was oh so selfish, but deep inside she was wishing that he will be there next to her, that he will roll her up into her favorite plaid just like a burrito, which would make him laugh, before kissing her whole face and giggling while doing so and watch some dumb movies.

A few times during the night, she would take her phone to see what time it was, before sighting dramatically and rolling into her bed for the 100th time. More than once she hesitated on whether she should text him or not.

She tried, she really tried not to, but around 1am, she was starting to lose hope, her lids were so heavy, she was so tired, but she couldn’t sleep and it was driving her crazy.

So she called him

Taehyung was crying of laughter while filming the eldest hyung rapping, it was the moment everyone was secretly waiting for, because they knew too well, Seokjin couldn’t really bare much alcohol and it never takes long before he goes all crazy.

Near the end of the song, Seokjin started hiccuping making himself as much as the others laugh uncontrollably and loudly, so loud that Taehyung almost didn’t hear his phone ringing.

He looked at the screen, still laughing, but when he saw her name he instantly calmed down and started panicking a bit. “Why isn’t she asleep ?” “Why is she calling me at this hour?” “Something must have happened shit”

Without thinking about it much more, Taehyung stood up and went outside the karaoke room, looking for a quieter place, which happened to be the bathroom before answering.

“J-Jagiya ? Are you okay ? Please tell me you’re fine !” he stuttered.

“I… I’m sorry to annoy you Taehyung-ah but…”

He could tell something was wrong by the sound of her voice, which is usually clear with a happy tone, but right now it was as if she was forced to talk. Needless to say that it was making his boyfriend panic even more…

“What ? What’s wrong ?!”

“It’s stupid but… Insomnia is striking again and… I’m going crazy Taehyung i’m so tired..”

“Did you eat tonight ? I heard you fall asleep easily if your tummy is stuffed ! Aish whatever, hold on i’m coming, I should get some sleep too, wait for me I’m coming !”

He didn’t let her the time to answer and hang off quickly, exiting the bathroom to go back to the karaoke room.

“Ah ! Taehyung-ah we were waiting for you ! It’s trot time !” screamed Jungkook with a huge smile on his face.

Trot. His favorite part during a karaoke night…

He sighed heavily before looking down, a bit sad.

“I’m sorry guys, I have to go Y/N needs me…”

Everyone looked at him, shocked. Taehyung never NEVER refused to sing trot, so they all understood that the situation must be really important.

“But- Hyung the trot-”

“I’m sorry Jungkookie, Good night guys, I’ll meet you at the Inkigayo studio tomorrow ! Bangtan fighting !”

She was regretting, she ruined his evening, his celebration night and she was feeling really really guilty.

She stood up from her bed, and went in the kitchen to make two cups of tea.

She barely had the time to go back into her bedroom with her little tray, that Taehyung was already there.

He quickly took his shoes off and ran into the bedroom, where he found her, sat down, with her cup of tea in between her tiny hands and giant dark circles.

When she saw him, she smiled with the bit of strength that she had left which made him smile back.

Taehyung quietly sat down next to her and took the second cup of tea murmuring a little “thanks” before counting her his day. How the performance went, how happy he was when they won, how he had fun with his members just minutes ago, he told her everything with every single details that mattered to him, like how he thought about her during the whole performance because his shirt was her favorite color, how he felt proud and happy because he knew that she was watching him.

He was stroking her hair gently and kept on talking with his deep and soothing voice.

She didn’t know how, but the simple presence of Taehyung made her feel at ease, and she felt herself drifting to sleep while listening to his beautiful voice.

She didn’t know how nor why, but Taehyung was her cure; and she will forever be thankful for everything he does for her.

Her breathing was steady, she was finally asleep. He slowly moved away to look at her peaceful figure, smiling, before picking up the fluffy plaid that fell off the bed, and laying back down next to her, covering the both of them with the cover.

In the end, Taehyung maybe missed the trot songs, but at least, he was there for the person he loved, and that’s all that mattered.

This was in the inbox for so so long sorry >< but I truly didn’t have any good ideas I hope this is decent ! As usual, feedback is always appreciated ♥

Admin K

anonymous asked:

whats your opinion on the naruto ending and how the japanese fans reacted? theres lots of mixed opinions about the japanese fans here, just wondering what you think

Hey there anon, thanks for the ask.

Honestly? The ending was shit. I’ve never been a fan of romance or pairings in series. They bore me. My first preference will always be no pairings (like One Piece for example). If there absolutely has to be romance, then I like same-sex pairings. Boy-boy or girl-girl. I find them much more interesting and real. HOWEVER, just because I prefer no pairings, if a romance is written well, I don’t mind it. AS LONG AS IT NEVER DISTRACTS OR RUINS THE PLOT. Which is what happened in Naruto.

SO. Before Naruto ended, my ideal ending was first and foremost, NO PAIRINGS. I wanted no romance, but instead an ending that focused on PLOT. I wanted to see the Hyuuga clan changed (for Neji’s sake if nothing else). I wanted Itachi to receive justice. I wanted to see the moment Naruto becomes Hokage, as he remembers his parents, and Jiraiya, and Neji, and Nagato, and all the people who entrusted him with their hopes throughout the series. And I wanted him to remember them, the promises he made to CHANGE THE SHINOBI SYSTEM. And then I wanted him to FUCKING MAKE THOSE CHANGES LIKE HE PROMISED.

My second preference for an ending would have been NARUTO ENDING UP WITH SAKURA. Don’t get me wrong, I AM SASUNARUSASU TRASH. These two dorks are so fucking homo for each other. But clearly, Shonen JUMP is homophobic as fuck and a canon marriage for these two was not going to happen, despite how revolutionary it could have been. SO. I was 100% okay with Naruto and Sakura getting together. In fact, I THOUGHT THAT’S WHERE THE MANGA WAS HEADING. And that was cool with me, cuz I mean, THIS PAIRING ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE. They had development, they grew together, and honestly, Sakura is pretty damn likeable when she’s with Naruto. She is able to BE HERSELF. She’s not the most girliest of characters, but Naruto acknowledges that and still likes her. In other words, HE LIKES HER FOR WHO SHE IS AND VICE VERSA. She doesn’t hide her true self around Naruto (unlike when she’s with Sasuke).

If Naruto had ended up with Sakura, TEAM 7 WOULD STILL BE TOGETHER, and not the fucking strangers they are now. And personally, I think all the plot stuff I mentioned before could be tied up in this ending too. Because NARUTO AND SASUKE NEED TO BE SIDE-BY-SIDE IN ORDER FOR THE CHANGES TO BE MADE TO THE SHINOBI SYSTEM. So basically, the plot literally fell apart BECAUSE Naruto ended up with Hinata. The ONLY pairings that would have made sense were SasuNaruSasu, or NaruSaku. Because believe it or not pro-ender-weirdos, PLOT IS IMPORTANT. Kishi dropped Sasuke’s plot, and that is why the series is the mess it is now. He LITERALLY HAD TO SEND SASUKE AWAY FROM THE VILLAGE in order for Naruto to end up with Hinata.

So yeah. I hate the ending. Kishi lost the love he once had for his characters, and you can fucking tell when you read the ending. He ended up writing what he thought fans would like, instead of writing true to his own characters. And that, my friend, is when a writer becomes a failure. 

As for the Japanese fandom… I haven’t seen much, to be honest. But I think the fact that Naruto did NOT win best ending for 2014 says A LOT. This is a BIG series, people. After 15 WHOLE YEARS the manga ends, and IT DOES NOT WIN BEST ENDING. I think that is quite telling. Also sales and stuff for Gaiden and The Last…were pretty shit, as most people have seen already. That makes me laugh uncontrollably because, shit, did they really think that was going to sell well? Really? Did they honestly think fans of the original Naruto series were going to spend money on THAT? 

I haven’t really visited 2chan much concerning Naruto, I just don’t have the desire to. The ending was such a failure. But I remember hearing very neutral uninterested comments from people. I think many fans lost interest a long time ago, and the ending was just…a flop. Another disappointment on top of the others, ever since the Pain arc.

HOWEVER, it may be interesting to note that pro-ending shippers are fucking crazy over there as well. I saw a comment on the last chapter, by some uninterested person, like, ‘ohhhh, so Naruto ended up with Hinata, huh…’ and some other guy commented like, ‘yeah, but did Sasuke ever even like Sakura in that way?’

Note how neutral they sound. They don’t seem like they really care all that much about the ending, probably just came back to see what happens out of nostalgia. And in response to these comments, some fucking crazy pro-ending shipper started insulting them about how OBVIOUS it was these pairings were going to happen. So yeah. I think most Japanese fans are kind of neutral. Uninterested. SO neutral and uninterested, in fact, that they don’t care to spend their money on this shit. They look at the ending, and raise an eyebrow because the ending doesn’t really make any sense. And that’s it. They just…don’t really give a fuck. Because the Naruto boom has long since been over.

Change- A Sam Wilkinson Fanfic- Chapter 8

Previous chapters here

Chapter 8

I woke up with a terrible headache. I literally felt that my head was spinning in circles. I grabbed it with both my hands so it wouldn’t fall out. I slowly sat on the bed and opened my eyes. But I closed them quickly after the light coming from the window in front of me burned my eyes. But wait. My room didn’t have a window in front of the bed. And I wasn’t in a bed; I was sitting in a mattress lying on the floor. I looked around and that’s when I realized I wasn’t in my bedroom and not exactly in my house for that matter. What the hell happened last night? The party. That’s what happened. I tried my best to remember anything but my brain cells where practically dead and I found it so difficult to think. I was able to recall some moments but I couldn’t link them together. However, my main priority now was to find out where I was.

Just then, Jenn entered the room with a tray containing lunch. I looked at my watch: 2pm. She was wearing her pajamas and carrying a bright wide smile on her face. “Good morning sweetie” she exclaimed. “Shut up” I said placing my hands on my ears, “You are too loud”. She laughed and sat by my side. “Do you remember anything?” Jenn asked giving me a headache pill. I swallowed it while I shook my head, “Do you?” “Nope” she said, “well, only one thing” “What?” I asked curiously. “I kissed Scott” she giggled and looked away.

“What? Jenn! Oh my God!! That’s awesome” I almost shouted hugging her.

“Yeah, yeah” she said, “I wonder if he remembers though”

I remembered a bit then. Scott was pretty bad; he had drunk a lot. And Jenn was feeling terrible because she had seen him talking with a random girl. That’s it.

“Was it your first time drinking?” Jenn asked me giving a bite to one of the sandwiches in the tray.

“No, I’ve drank before but this was my first time drunk, yes” I said, “What about you?”

“There are a lot of partied here in LA, you know?” she said embarrassed. I laughed slightly.

“My parents are going to kill me” I whispered getting up but I regretted my action when an incredible dizziness attacked my body. “I’m going to be grounded for so long”

“No you are not” she exclaimed in a singing voice.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, we sent your mother a text from your phone as if it were you asking if you could stay in my house and she agreed completely” she exclaimed. I took out my phone and effectively; there was a small conversation between my mom and “me”. I sighed in relief. I wondered who had written the texts, they looked as if I had typed them myself.

“Anyway, I was so intrigued to know what had happened that I asked Jack J and Sam to tell me a bit. And yeah, some weird stuff happened.”

“Sam wasn’t drunk?”

“Nope” she said, “Do you want to know or not?”


“Well, Jack was designed driver so he didn’t drink and although he took care of Gilinsky and Scott all night, Jack escaped to talk to some girls and end up puking in somebody’s shoes. He was a black eye now” I giggled. “Sam told me that I was crying, which I can’t believe by the way, because Scott was talking to a girl. And that you two, love birds made the bitch go away and told to Scott to come where I was. That’s what I remember; him coming and then we kissing”

“Well, I don’t remember making a bitch go away” I exclaimed laughing.

“I thought you were goodie, but gosh, you’ve got attitude gurl” she said and I laughed.

“What else?”

“Calm down, I’m reaching yours and Sam’s part” she said and I blushed, “He didn’t say much, only that you kept telling him he was cute”

“What?!” I screamed touching my forehead, “Oh my God, I’m so stupid, shit please don’t let me drink again, I can’t believe I did that. How am I supposed to see him now?”

By that time, Jenn was rolling in the floor, tears in her eyes and laughing uncontrollably loud. When she calmed down she said trying to catch her breath, “That’s another thing I remember too, you were like ‘did you know how cute you are Sam?´” she exclaimed. I hid my face in my hands.

“And he was like ´You are cuter´” she added, smiling and raising her eyebrows repeatedly. I rolled my eyes but in the inside I was literally jumping and screaming in joy.

“Something else?” I asked, “This is horrible, I don’t remember a thing”

“Welcome to my world” Jenn smirked, “Anyway, Sam felt so guilty about letting you drink. He literally took care of you all night. Well at least that’s what Jack told me”

“He did?” “Yeah” I smiled to myself, he was so… so perfect.

I got up, and although my legs ached a lot, I walked to Jenn’s bathroom. I almost screamed when I saw my horrid reflection in the mirror. I had bags under my eyes, which were red and showed tiredness. My hair was messy and tangled. My make up was everywhere but in the place it was supposed to be. I cleaned it up and it looked slightly better, but still, I looked trashed.

“Get dressed” Jenn said arranging her hair.


“We are meeting the boys in the Mall, it’s a tradition. We do that the day after every party”

I swallowed hard. That meant I had to see Sam. I had to face him after being drooling over him and telling him he was cute all night last night. “Earth please swallow me” I whispered to myself once we were in Jenn’s car on the way to Hill Mall.


Hey, if this gets enough notes, ill post chapter 9 todayyy! ly

i want a 1x1 partner that i can just hit up like ‘ goin through shit right now…mind giving me an escape for a bit?’ and they’re just like 'you don’t even need to explain. lets do this’ and just have the most ridiculous plot where the most ridiculous shit happens that makes me laugh uncontrollably until my sides hurt and puts the biggest smile on my face.

5sos on a morning
  • Ashton: Morning guys..
  • Calum: (asleep at the table)
  • Luke: Morning sweet cheeks ;)
  • Ashton: Shut up *blushes*
  • Ashton: don't swear asshole
  • Calum: Eh what? Why is my cereal soggy!
  • Michael: You made it like 15 minutes ago and fell asleep again
  • Luke: Michael piss off
  • Michael: WHAT DID I DO
  • Luke: .....You were born
  • Ashton: Wow Luke, you suck at these things
  • Luke: I can suck something though...
  • Michael: Ashton what are you doing
  • Ashton: Making coffee, what the hell does it look like
  • Michael: it looks like your using alcohol instead of something else there dude
  • Ashton: OH SHIT-
  • Luke: (starts laughing uncontrollably and drops bowl)
  • Calum: DUDE
  • Calum: I'm not your boyfriend
  • Michael: yet.( winks and walks away)
  • Calum: anyway
  • Luke: Ashton why are you standing there staring
  • Ashton: because I don't know what to fucking do
  • Michael: ( from other room; shouts in girly voice) DON'T SWEAR
  • Ashton: And fuck you too
  • Luke: why not me
  • Ashton: in your dreams
  • Luke: how did you know
  • Ashton: ask Michelle
  • Ashton: Michelle.
  • Michael: IM COMING FOR YOU (runs into kitchen)
  • Luke: if you hurt him I won't help Calum be your boyfriend
  • Calum: what
  • Michael: ....
  • Ashton: ....
  • Luke: ....
  • Beyoncé: Drunk in love?
  • Calum: wha-
  • Calum: oh shit
  • Ashton: Beyoncé I love you
  • Luke: OH HELL NO (tickles)
  • Beyoncé: are you guys together
  • Ashton: NO-
  • Luke: shhh
  • Calum: #LASHTON
  • Michael: I hope you enjoyed this Y/N, it happens daily
  • Ashton: Luke doesn't try to fuck me daily thanks
  • Luke: No promises starting now
  • Ashton: *giggles* no.

My girlfriend is setting up information about a side NPC for her tabletop game (Nightshade Academy), where said NPC is a bully in the backstory of two of the PCs. One of the PCs (Eoin) is technically the elven prince of the British Empire. His family is mostly noted for being very red-haired, and the children wear old clothes to hide their status as royalty. Quintis is a noble, and very much the ‘Draco Malfoy’ type character. 

Quintis: “Don’t tell me. Red hair, hand-me-down-clothes…”

Me: (waking up from a nap just in time to hear this) “YOU MUST BE A DARCY.” *pause* “This school’s really gone to the dogs! Luckily next year, I’ll be transfered to Hogwarts!” *pause* “You can’t just GO to Hogwarts, it’s in SCOTLAND.”

The rest of the party starts laughing uncontrollably as I continue to riff off this and make A Very Potter Musical jokes one right after another.

We never took that NPC seriously, through the entirety of the campaign.

I Think I Wanna Marry You

Based off of this request: “Ian and Mickey’s wedding day and Mickey is afraid Ian will leave him at the alter”

“Come on, shithead!” Mandy yells through Mickey’s door. She tries to open it but it’s locked. “Mickey you’re going to be late for your own  wedding.” She starts banging on the door. 

Mickey opens it and moves back into his room pacing back and forth. 

“You’re not even fucking dressed?” Mandy asks trying to not be too angry at her brother it was his special day after all. 

Mickey continues to pace in just his boxers and white undershirt. 

“What if he leaves me?” Mickey finally blurts out.


“What if he leaves me up there at the alter and I’m just left standing there alone looking like a fucking idiot in front of everyone?” Mickey sighs. “I dunno. This was stupid. I should’t have agreed to do this.”

Mandy eyes her brother and tries not to laugh. “So wait…” she says. “You think after all the shit you guys got through he’s just going to leave you at the alter?” She steps back and crosses her arms. “Jesus Mickey. Maybe you are dumber than you look.” She laughs and  turns to exit the room, “Didn’t think that was possible." 

Mickey rolls his eyes. 

"And get fucking dressed or he will have a reason to leave you." 

Mandy waits outside the room after putting the finishing touches on her groomsmaid outfit. "Late to your own fucking wedding.” She yells through the door again.

Mickey opens it now fully dressed. Mandy turns around and smiles. “Shit, Mick. You clean up well.”

“Yeah yeah. Not so bad yourself,” Mickey walks out of his room. “Now lets get this shit done.”

“Oh don’t act like this isn’t the happiest day of your life.” Mandy playfully shoves Mickey as she beats him to leaving the house. 

“Shuttup,” Mickey says but grins widely behind her, though he was still a bit nervous. 

The setup was slightly different.

The wedding party was supposed to come out first and make their way up the isle to the alter. Then Ian was supposed to come in on the left and Mickey on the right and they’d meet in the middle and walk up the the alter together, hand in hand. 

The first part happens correctly. First Iggy and Fiona walk down the isle together and go to their respective sides, then Colin and Debbie, Molly with Carl and Liam, and then Mandy and Lip at the end with Lip being Ian’s best man and Mandy Mickey’s bestwoman.

Whatever classical music Ian had picked out to be their entrance song plays and Mickey walks out. He waits in front of the isle, maybe he forgot the right part to actually come in. Was he a minute too early? But he continues to wait and he knows the songs is almost ending. He knows because Ian had made him listen to it 50 fucking times before he decided on it.

There’s a pause and whoever was in charge of the music decided to just start the song over. Mickey stares over at Mandy in clear distress. Mandy looks about the room and smiles awkwardly before she makes her way back down the isle to Mickey.

She can see the panic in her brother's eyes before she makes it even half way there. 

“I told you. I fucking told you,” Mickey angrily whispers. 

“Calm down,” She whispers. “I’m sure he just… umm lost track of time or something.”

Mickey stares at her and shakes his head. 

“Look he’s probably just nervous, like you were.” She smiles, sure she’s right. “I’ll go find him and it’ll be fine.”

Mandy quickly walks out of the chapel and into the lobby. She returns a few minutes later biting her lip and looking really unsure. She looks up at Lip, who gets the memo and walks down the isle to her. 

“I can’t find him,” She whispers to him, Mickey standing by her. 

“He fucking left me. I fucking knew it." 

Lip almost laughs. "Don’t worry. I’ll find him.” Lip says full of confidence and placing a hand on Mickey’s shoulder as he exits the room. 

Lip leaves. He wanders around outside, looks in the same places Mandy looked, then he notices a small private bathroom. Probably reserved for grooms or some other person for a special occasion. It’s a small bathroom, though fancier than Lip’s seen in a while. 

“Ian?” he calls out. “You in here?” He hears someone coughing and finds his brother sitting on the bathroom floor, smoking. 

Lip laughs. “Jesus Ian what the fuck are you doing?" 

Ian holds up the blunt. 

Lip nods and sits by his brother. "Nervous?”

“Ohh yeah." 

"What the hell for? If he was gonna leave you don't you think he would’ve done it already?”

“Jeez thanks for the words of encouragement,” Ian says, taking a puff. 

“But seriously? What do you have to be nervous about?”

“Dunno…Could leave me at the alter. That’d be pretty embarrassing." Ian starts to laugh. 

"Yeah..ha. You’re kinda already doing that to him now.” Lip says.

“Wait what?” Ian stamps out the joint and tries to pull out his phone. “What time is it?" 

"4:00….4:10 actually.”

“Shit, shit, fuck” Ian gets up and dusts off his suit. He runs his hands through his hair. “Do I look.. I mean..fuck”

“You look fine, dude. Now come on before Mickey kills everyone in there." 

"Alright.” Ian holds back and bites his thumbnail, a nervous habit he picked up from Mickey. 

“Come on, man. You’ll be fine.” Lip puts an encouraging arm around his brother and they walk to the chapel. 

Lip walks in first and nods to Mandy and they both make their way back up the alter. Lip gives the person in charge of the music a signal to start the song again. 

Ian comes out into the chapel on his original cue in the song and a giant wave of relief washes over Mickey. Ian at first looks at Mickey with such a large expression of guilt. Mickey wants to be mad but  upon seeing Ian dressed nicely, hair slicked back, there for him, Mickey breaks out into the brightest smile he’s probably ever had and because of that Ian returns the smile. Mickey grabs Ian’s hand and they walk up the isle. Mickey finally relaxes when they make it up there and Ian wraps his arm around Mickey’s waist pulling him even closer.  Mickey slides his hand up Ian’s back and rests his hand on the back of his hand, that being Ian’s area that made him relax by Mickey’s touch.

They exchange vows, Mandy smiles like a proud sister and friend, choking back some tears,  Fiona definitely does cry, and Debbie cheers loudly. And then the boys kiss…for probably too long than people are anticipating but fuck it it’s their wedding day. The walk down the isle arm in arm now as the wedding party follows not far behind them.

Ian starts laughing uncontrollably as they make their way to the car they rented to take them to the reception.

Mickey looks at Ian curiously. “Are you…are you high right now?”  

Ian laughs and nods. 

Mickey laughs with him. “Jesus Ian..”

“I was nervous,” He admits.

“Yeah .Me too.”

“Really?” Ian is surprised.

Mickey nods. “Yup. Could’ve used whatever shit you took like 2 and half hours ago.”

“Don’t worry,” Ian whispers. “I still have some.” He pats his jacket pocket.

Mickey grins. “And this is why I married you”.

Ian fake gasps. “Oh man. And here I thought you just had a ginger fetish.”

Mickey laughs and shoves Ian into the car. “Alright get in there Mary Jane.”

Mandy did say it was supposed to be the happiest day of his life…or some shit. And boy was it and by the time it was over Mickey was left with confidence of many more ‘happiest days’ ahead of them. 

The Four Quarters of the NS Fandom Right Now
  • 1st One: NARUTO, MY BABY! WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU?? TO EVERYONE?!?! THIS IS SO SAD!! *Weeping* *ugly sobbing*
  • 3rd One: I don't give a flying fuck, ch.700 was shit, The Last couldn't be more than non-recyclable crap, see ya nerds *stays with their fanon stuff*
  • 4th One: *E.T. Jokes* *Laughing uncontrollably*