this shit is really damn good

anonymous asked:

Can you do more msr smut? maybe one where someone walks in on them? It would be nice to see how they'd react and feel afterwards!

Here you go anon, the last in my series of caught fics. 

Warning, NSFW. 

Mulder doesn’t quite know how it all happened. One moment he was stood at the door to Scully’s apartment, flashing her a cheeky yet hopeful grin as he held a Chinese takeout bag in one hand and a bottle of red in the other, and the next he was sat on the couch, his legs spread and his jeans unzipped as he watched his hot little partner sink to her knees in front of him, take his cock into her mouth and proceed to give him the best blowjob of his life.

He’d gone to her apartment on a whim – they hadn’t made plans to spend the evening together, and even as he placed the order for their takeout he’d decided that he would share the food with the Gunmen if his partner wasn’t at home. But she was, and if the way she’d kissed him and pulled him into her apartment was anything to go by, she had been missing him too.

It was pathetic really, he’d thought to himself. The two of them had only “officially” taken their relationship to the next level a few weeks ago, when Scully had crawled into his bed, very much naked and very much not tired, after he’d returned home from his visit to England. Since then they’d slept together only twice, heavy workloads and Scully’s family commitments keeping them apart. They’d got back from their latest case late last night, too late for Mulder to stay, and today they’d been back at the office, knee deep in paperwork. Tonight was their chance to catch up, as a couple, and to spend some time together outside of work. Mulder was hoping deep down that the evening would end with Scully inviting him to spend the night, but he’d never expected this. The Chinese is cooling on the coffee table but all Mulder can think about is his partner sucking on his dick as though it’s her favorite flavor lollipop.

“Sc…” After seven years, Scully has finally rendered her partner speechless. Her right hand is wrapped tightly around his cock while her mouth bobs up and down on him, her teeth lightly grazing his flesh. Mulder is hard, possibly harder than he’s ever been, and he knows he’s moments away from one of the best orgasms of his life. His partner isn’t exactly making things easy for him either; she’s looking up at him with her big blue eyes, smirking around his flesh as her left hand moves to unbutton her shirt ever so slightly, then heads down and disappears beneath her skirt. Seconds later Mulder feels her moan vibrate against him, the sensation driving him closer to the edge.

“Get up…uhhh…get up here Scully.”

She shakes her head, unwilling to release his cock, though he notices that whatever she’s doing beneath her skirt – and he has a reasonably good idea of what that is – she’s speeding up.

“Please.” First she rendered him speechless, now she’s got him begging. Dana Scully has her partner wrapped around her little finger, and he loves it. “Scully I wanna be inside you.”

“No,” replies Scully, pulling back momentarily to catch her breath. “Like this.”

“I’m close.”

“I know.” She flashes him another smile before her mouth sinks back down over his cock.

He’s given her plenty of warning, he tells himself, and before he can even think about pulling out he suddenly tumbles over the edge, spilling into her mouth with a cry. Scully isn’t that far behind him, groaning around him as she cleans him up.

As he comes down from his rush, Mulder suddenly hears the scraping of a key in the lock at Scully’s door. He looks down at his partner, her wide eyes reflecting his own horror, and then it all happens in a blur. A visibly post-coital Scully quickly gets to her feet, setting her skirt in place, while Mulder lifts his hips up off the sofa, trying to zip up his jeans. As the door opens, Scully suddenly flings a nearby cushion onto her partner’s lap in an attempt to conceal his modesty. But it’s too late.

“Mom!”

“Oh my goodness!” Maggie takes in the scene, looks at her daughter’s unbuttoned blouse, her healthy “glow” and her partner sporting a cushion in his lap and then immediately spins round, facing the door to the apartment, while Mulder and Scully scramble to make themselves look more presentable. Both of them are blushing furiously, while Mulder’s heart is beating double time. Shit. This isn’t good, not good at all. 

“It really isn’t what it looks like.”

It’s exactly what it looks like, and all three of them know that. Unable to stop himself, Mulder smirks as he raises his eyebrows at his partner, his jeans now zipped once more. He figured she’d be a little more inventive than that. 

Thankfully, Maggie seems equally flustered. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I knocked and I didn’t hear anything -” Mulder curses inwardly. If he’d just been a little quieter, they’d have heard her mom knock. But then again, he thinks, Scully is equally to blame for being so damn good at what she does, and besides, she was as carried away as he was. 

“We were just doing some paperwork -“ 

"Paperwork?” mouths Mulder to his partner, wincing as Scully shakes her head and slaps his arm hard, warning him to stay quiet.

“I didn’t realize you were back. I came over to check on the apartment –”

“There’s a lot of paperwork for this case –”

“So I used my key -” Maggie cautiously turns her head, then when realizing the coast is clear and that her daughter and partner are fully dressed, turns around. Mulder notices that neither mother nor daughter are able to make eye contact with one another. 

“We’ve got a lot of work on you see.”

“Of course." 

"And I was just helping Mulder with a report.”

“I should go.”

“No,” Mulder interrupts, unable to listen to the awkward conversation any longer. “I should go.”

“No,” Scully announces firmly, looking between the two of them. There’s a hint of resignation to her voice. “You should both stay.”

She’s right, Mulder knows - if they try and avoid her mom now, the next meeting will be even more awkward.

Maggie nods down at her feet, and so Mulder tries to break the tension in the room. “I’ll put the kettle on. Coffee Magg…Mrs Scully?”

“I’ll take tea please,” she replies politely. She doesn’t need coffee, having just had a wake-up call. Scully nods in agreement and so he leaves the room, giving the two of them time to speak alone. He figures Maggie will have some questions for her daughter, and sure enough he’s right. 

“How long has this been going on?” He hears Maggie ask the moment he’s - she presumes - out of earshot. Scully seems to have pre-empted the question and is ready with her answer. 

“About three weeks.”

“Three weeks?” The surprise is evident in Maggie’s voice. “You’ve only been together for three weeks?” While Mulder busies himself with boiling the kettle, he contemplates Maggie’s shock. He’s sure she thought they’d been together a lot longer – he’s always presumed she knew about his feelings for her daughter. He still feels awful for her walking in on them, and understands why she’s annoyed – she’s embarrassed after all, and no doubt feels out of the loop for not being aware of their relationship. As the kettle boils he suddenly feels bad for leaving Scully alone to face her mom, and slowly pads back out into the living room.

“…better of you Dana…” Maggie pauses as she notices Mulder’s presence. He shoots his partner a look, silently asking her if she’s ok, and she nods ever-so-slightly, though her eyes tell him otherwise.

“Mrs Scully,” he suddenly interrupts, moving over to stand by Scully’s side. He reaches down and takes hold of her hand. “I can only apologize for what you saw tonight. We certainly didn’t mean for you to walk in on that, and I’m sorry that we’ve embarrassed you. No parent wants to walk in on their child doing that, no matter how old they are.”

Maggie hums in agreement, but she says nothing, waiting for him to continue. “But I want you to know something. Dana’s told you we’ve been together for three weeks, and that’s correct. Officially. But if you’re asking me when I fell in love with your daughter, it’s been longer than that. A lot longer. More like three years.” He feels Scully’s eyes on him but he’s unable to trust himself to look at her. “I know what you’re thinking, and rest assured that I’m not taking advantage your daughter. I love her. This isn’t a quick fling, this is it for me, and if I’ve read the signs right, it’s the same for Dana.”

“It is,” Scully whispers, and he can hear the tears in her voice.

Maggie appears a little surprised at their admissions, but Mulder is pleased to see that she no longer looks as though she wants to kill the two of them. “So it’s serious.” It’s a statement, not a question, and Mulder sees her let out the breath she’s been holding as both he and Scully nod.

“Very much so,” he answers.

“I should have knocked again,” she replies. “Just to make sure you weren’t home. I know you’re both adults, and I didn’t mean to walk in on…that.”

“It won’t happen again,” promises Scully,

“No,” agrees Maggie, her lips twitching up into a smile. “Next time I should think you’d at least use the door chain to keep out unwanted visitors.”

i unironically really like gordon ramsay as a person like, he only gets pissed when people are being legitimately shitty or are hurting their customers and the dude’s real fuckin good with children like, you’ll never see gordon ramsay being a dick to a child doesnt matter if they give him play doh on a fuckin platter and act like its a rata god damn touille hes nice and only mean to people that are fucking shit and basically gordon ramsay being seen as an angry shitty chef whos mean for no reason is bullshit and he does shit like fight really hard against slaughtering endangered species for frivolous bullshit like shark fin soup. basically gordon ramsay is the best tv chef and if i see anyone say bobby flay is better, whoever the fuck that is, i will blow a god damn gasket thank you for reading

*pounds fist on table* ok i need to talk about the god-tier klance moments in s3e03 “the hunted” because damn there’s a couple scenes that are so powerful and important and i just….holy shit. buckle up, y’all.

this episode is fucking great for a lot of reasons, but one of my favorite parts of it is how much it shows the development of keith & lance’s relationship: especially 1) how good lance has become at grounding keith & helping him control his reckless impulses, and 2) how keith feels like he can be open and honest with lance about his fears/insecurities––which is a big fucking deal because we’ve almost never seen him do this. 

the first scene that really struck me is this part where keith is leading the team after lotor and it’s just….a big mess. he’s not thinking about keeping the team together. allura’s falling behind and he’s not paying any attention. he’s not considering that this might be a trap. all he can think about is diving in headfirst without considering the consequences.

and then this happens:

uhhhh….oh my god??

look, we know how keith gets. we know how hot-headed and stubborn he can be. i mean listen, we’re talking about this kid who literally tried to fight zarkon by himself.

and yet…..even in the middle of this intense chase, lance gets through to him. he brings keith down from that battle-rage and makes him see reason. and he does it in a way that’s straightforward and brutally honest (“you’re endangering the team and you can’t do this”) which i think is exactly why it works. that’s the kind of direction keith needs, and tbh out of everyone on the team it makes the most sense that it comes from lance.

i’m just

me: hey can i get a fucking uhhhhh lance being keith’s impulse control
dreamworks: *gives me this*
me: *kicking down the door* HOLY FUCK MOM

and look i was already sobbing over this one small part but then we get THIS….THIS SCENE….

oh boy oh wow where do i stART?!

god damn this scene is beautiful––visually, thematically, it’s just …. so powerful and significant.

first of all i need to freak out a little over the way the scene is set up and how wonderful the symbolism is. 

it starts with keith literally in the shadows, and then slowly emerging and drifting up towards lance with their lions facing each other. lance & red are above keith & black which is really interesting.

as we all know, keith is the leader right now. and yet, both literally and figuratively, he’s not positioning himself higher than lance––in fact, he’s doing the very opposite. and his lion doesn’t have her head lowered in shame either; the lions are directly looking each other in the eyes (which i feel like is pretty damn rare??) and that’s very meaningful. everything about the visual setup of the scene just screams openness, honesty, vulnerability. 

(side note: also wow @ that red and blue background, amiright)

and then we have everything that keith says. and boy….there’s so much to unpack here:

- he admits it was his fault and he led everyone into a trap
- he also admits that everyone warned him (lance warned him) and he wasn’t listening
- and because of that he put everyone else in danger

and man i gotta give huge props to steven yeun here because his voice acting in this scene….jeez it broke my heart. keith says all this so quietly, his voice is literally shaking. shit, he sounds close to tears. this is possibly the closest we’ve ever seen keith to totally breaking down and it’s just…..it hurts so much and it’s so important.

it really hits you in this moment that keith is a kid. he’s 16 years old!! he didn’t want to lead the team & he doesn’t know how to do it. he can’t do it by himself. he doesn’t say any of that explicitly here but it’s 100% clear that that’s exactly what he’s saying.

and he says this to lance of all people. lance, his supposed “rival”! you would think lance would be the last person he’d want to turn to for reassurance or to blatantly admit “wow i fucked up real bad.” and yet….here we are. it’s moments like these that really prove that under the surface, these two don’t hate each other in the least. they like each other. they respect each other. they rely on each other!! (*whispers* space ranger partners….) 

and lance’s response only proves my point even more. he could easily have said “i told you so” or otherwise berated keith for his mistake. but he doesn’t! his answer is:

- yes, you messed up.
- but we’re going to fix it. we. i can’t stress that enough! he doesn’t say “you messed up and now you have to do something about it.” he doesn’t say “you messed up and now i’m going to take over and do something about it.” he’s essentially saying “yeah you made a mistake but that’s in the past….and now we’re going to take care of it together.” 

and that’s?? so great?? because keith more or less admitted that he was feeling this huge burden weigh down on him, and lance––in his own subtle way––lifted that weight off keith’s shoulders. he’s reassuring keith that he’s not alone in this. *wipes tears from my eyes*

and if all that wasn’t enough, keith immediately saying “you’re right” makes it all the more significant. he’s openly admitting once again that he fucked up, but he’s also agreeing with lance’s statement that they can still turn things around and fix his mistake as a team. which is…..wow. 

tl;dr - everything about this pair of scenes just proves how keith & lance work so well together and need each other. it shows how important it is for them to be open and honest with each other, and demonstrates how they both have that capability. 

and i’m gonna scream about it for a hundred years. 

At the library
  • <p> <b>Person A:</b> *hiding behind a shelf* okay. This is it. You're gonna go up there, and talk to them and wow them.<p/><b></b> *peeks around shelf at person b who is looking at books*<p/><b>Person A:</b> Alright. Here goes.<p/><b></b> *walks up to B*<p/><b>Person A:</b> Hey I noticed the book your holding is one I've read, and I think it's a really good one-<p/><b>Person B:</b> *looks down at book they're holding* You've read......encyclopedia of earth worms?<p/><b>Person A:</b> ......yes? *inner monolog* *S H IT SHIT SHIIIIIIIT NOW THEY THINK YOU'RE A C R E E P. WAY TO GO BUDDY. TIME TO HIDE UNDER A ROCK FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE AND LIVE WITH THE GOD DAMN EARTH WORMS. SHIIIIT*<p/></p>
me being (very) brutally honest with the signs

Aries- You’re such a goddamn hothead all the goddamn time. Not everyone likes to be constantly doing something every second of every day. You get angry with people for the smallest and most trivial reasons but god forbid someone take a dig at you. You’re such a hypocrite and it’s annoying as fuck. You act like an edgy teenager that’s constantly throwing a tantrum. You also boss people around and expect everyone to just follow your lead and if they don’t, you get pissed at them for having a mind of their own. You seriously need to take a look at your life and stop seeing everything as a fucking challenge that’s rigged against you. My god, I get tired just being in your presence. 

Taurus- You’re a lazy fuck and way too materialistic and possessive. You literally have no desire to do anything because you love to sit on your ass. You take “treat yourself” to a whole new level and not in a healthy way whatsoever. It seems like every chance you get you cause arguments and then you contradict whatever the other person is saying just because you can’t look at anything from a different point of view. Even if you get to the point where you realize you’re in the wrong and the other person is right, you’ll just continue to argue for the sake of arguing and god forbid your ego take even the slightest blow. It’s irritating as shit like you really think you know best when in reality you’re just a stubborn bitch. What a bore.

Gemini- Look, I know you guys get a lot of flak. But take this into consideration…… it’s because most if not all of it is FUCKING TRUE. You have so many different personalities I don’t know which one is even real. You gossip 24/7 and flip-flop between who you talk to and who you talk about. You’re completely unreliable and unpredictable and also clingy as fuck. Seriously, I feel like I can’t get away from you. I just want to go to the bathroom, I don’t need to hear the story right now about how Sarah said that Dylan said that Kimberly found a sock in the dryer that wasn’t hers. Literally no one cares. Another thing that you do is once you get tired of someone, you just throw them away like garbage. (Also Trump is a gemini, and I know you guys can’t control that but like come on. Of course he’s a gemini.)

Cancer- You really need to stop being so whiny or I’m actually going to lose it. Everyone has problems so stop acting like such a victim all the goddamn time. You’re so moody all the time and you act like a small child that needs to have their diaper changed. You also cling onto people as soon as you meet them and cry if someone doesn’t answer your text within 5 fucking minutes. Don’t you have your own life to live? Oh wait, I forgot you spend every second in a dark room and refuse to come outside unless it’s to answer the door because you ordered shitty takeout. You consider changing your clothes adventurous and honestly it’s so boring. Introverted doesn’t even describe you, you’re more like a complete hermit (CRAB. HA!)

Leo- Hey leo, wow, are you actually reading this? I’m kind of shocked because I never thought you’d ever stop looking at yourself in the mirror. Seriously, you’re probably the most vain sign out of all of us. So much so that if someone criticizes you in even the smallest way, you get so offended and act like you’ve been shot in the chest. You think so highly of yourself, and while it’s great to have confidence, you take it to the next level, which is extreme arrogance. You love to have the conversation focused around you. You’re the type of friend that if someone is telling you about their problem or just their day in general, you’ll interrupt them and start talking about yourself and it’s DAMN ANNOYING. How do you still have friends?

Virgo- I’m gonna tell you right now, you’re not as perfect as you think you are. You’re so quick to critique other people that you write them off as not good enough before even getting to know them. You’re the type of person that would tell their friend that they were breathing too loudly. For fucks sake, you’re such an over analyzing pedant it makes me want to slap you in the face with my fucking asymmetrical hand. Your pessimism is damn near blinding, I probably wouldn’t want to hang around you for more than 10 minutes or you’d make me feel self conscious about how I fucking walk or some shit. You can’t take or make a joke. You’re skeptical about everything and you’re completely inflexible. You like to think of yourself as an intellectual but really you’re stuck up, narrow minded and someone I constantly find myself rolling my eyes at.

Libra- You are manipulative as shit. You’ll tell someone they look good without even looking up from your phone. You lie all the time and don’t really give a fuck if you hurt other people’s feelings because you really only look out for yourself. You’re also a huge fucking coward. When your friends need you to have their back and actually be there for them, you run and hide and say, “Oh sorry I just didn’t want to get involved!”. What a lame fucking excuse for ditching your friend in their time of need. You’re also extremely indecisive to the point where it’ll take you 3 hours just to choose where you want to go eat. It’s tiring as fuck. Just MAKE A CHOICE FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE. Have your own fucking opinion. You’re like a goddamn sheep.

Scorpio- Why the FUCK are you so aggressive for no fucking reason? You manipulate people just for the fun of it. You get jealous so easily and usually you don’t even have a reason to be jealous. You just are. It’s pathetic. You like to think that you’re so cool and mysterious but in reality people just see you as a moody and brooding asshole that no one really wants to bother getting to know. I mean, why would they? What’s the point? Every time someone even tries to get close to you, you completely brush them off and act like you don’t care about them because keeping your “mystifying” aura is soo important to you. And if you do let someone in, you treat them like they’re your possession and it’s creepy as hell. You obsess over them and you want to control them. God forbid they hang out with someone that isn’t you and then you resent them for no goddamn reason other than having a life of their own. Do me a favor scorpio and don’t talk to me.

Sagittarius- Honestly if a sag is reading this, you’re just straight up getting a taste of your own medicine. You’re tactless as shit and it makes me not want to be around you, ever. You’re inconsiderate of others and impatient with everyone. If someone isn’t moving up to your standards you will become agitated and aggressive and then you take it out on the person. You constantly need to be doing something else because your attention span lasts about 2 fucking seconds. You act like an 8 year old. You’re also really superficial. You don’t bother getting to know the deeper layers of a person because, like I said, you’re impatient and also just plain lazy. You take people for granted and are careless when handling the feelings of people closest to you. You’re also a really self-obsessed know-it-all. Go climb a fucking tree, sag.

Capricorn- Four words. Lighten. The fuck. Up. You are by far the most power-hungry of all the signs. You take everything so completely seriously that I don’t even know if you understand what “fun” even is. You always have to have two feet on the ground at all times and you can never ever be spontaneous and it’s so fucking dull. You’re conservative and disdainful nature can be so overbearing at times that even your friends need to get away from you. That is, if you have friends. You’re a complete pessimist so who knows if anyone can actually tolerate that. You constantly have to be the most successful person in a room, and you make sure you reach this level of success through abusive and controlling behavior towards the people around you. Your selfishness grosses me out.

Aquarius- I asked you what time it was. I didn’t ask you if I was afraid of time passing or the fact that it’s a manmade construct. For fucks sake, just shut the fuck up about this deep shit for once. I don’t want to contemplate how large the universe really is at fuckin 8:30 am on a Monday. You’re rebellious even when it doesn’t matter and honestly all it does is piss people off. You’re constantly trying to deviate from the norm that you make the same fucking mistakes that other people already made, but you don’t fucking learn from other people’s mistakes because you always have to go your own way. Maybe listen to other people for once? You’re the most detached sign out of all of them and you hurt people by acting aloof all the fucking time but you don’t care because you chalk it up to “this is who I am!!! I need my freedom!!!!”. You need to actually think about how your actions affect people you care about because if you don’t, you’re REALLY gonna end up alone and you won’t be able to do a damn thing about it. 

Pisces- You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself all the time and get it through your head that you’re not always the damn victim. You don’t take responsibility for your actions and you always find a way to blame it on someone else because you’re NEVER in the wrong, are you? Poor little pisces. You’re not as innocent as you want everyone to believe. You’re constantly daydreaming and it becomes really annoying when I’m trying to talk to you and you just completely zone out because you love living in your little imaginary world. You’re the WORST at solving your own problems and conflicts because instead of dealing with them you just avoid it all together and end up leaving the mess for someone else to clean up. You’re really nosy- you love to get in other people’s business. But you don’t go to the person directly, you have to be sneaky about it and gather rumors from other people. You’re also very over-sensitive. Out of all the signs, you’re by far the most likely to respond to this post saying how this isn’t true and that I’m just a “big fat meany!!!” and then add a bunch of angry/crying emojis.


(disclaimer: Don’t worry, I don’t really hate your sign (unless you’re a  * * * * * * … lmao). This was just for fun and I know it’s harsh. Don’t take it too personally. You’re an individual and ultimately you determine who you really are. Except for you, * * * * * * . Fuck you.) 

One thing I can’t get over in Star Trek Beyond is how when Spock starts laughing, Bones, for a quick second, looks really happy like damn I didn’t know you could smile it’s a good look for you. 

And then he immediately proceeds to panic because shit waIT THAT’S NOT RIGHT.

Kpop Groups as Types of Cake

according to me and my friends 


Big Bang: “that chocolate cake from costco; really rich and even if you dont try it everyone is always losing their damn minds about it”

Astro: “a funfetty cake with chocolate filling, but the outside is actually like a beautiful mess”

Seventeen: “one of those big cakes where each layer is a different flavor bc they’re so multitalented”

SHINee: “a chocolate cake that looks like it was frosted by a 6 y/o; an old favorite but a Mess”

Block B: “a giant birthday cake with a shit ton of sprinkles and some of those candles that cant be blown out”

Pristin: “an ice cream cake: cool and refreshing”

Produce 101: “one of those crepe cakes bc theres so much going on that it’s overwhelming but it’s pretty good”

NU’EST: “the chocolate cakes you used to be able to get at kfc; amazing and extremely underrated”

NCT: 

me: “NCT are cupcakes bc of the different units”

friend #1, at the same time: “nct is like a black wedding cake, you dont know what’s going on, there’s a lot, but it’s pretty cool” 

both of us: “oh”

EXO: “a cake that looks Super Expensive and Tastes Amazing but tbh its probably made by a 5 y/o ???”

EXO, during kokobop: “a mess and missing a piece”

Yixing: “an angel food cake”

Blackpink: “one of those really expensive cakes that you kinda regret buying but it’s so damn good”

Red Velvet: “red velvet”

UP10TION: “a cake without much detail but the taste would be like “holy shit” bc they have so much talent but no one notices”

Topp Dogg: 

friend #1: “one of those cakes that look like it will be chocolate but ends up being vanilla”

friend #2: *sends a pic of a cake made out of twinkies* “an absolute mess and no one knows what’s going on”

iKon: 

friend #2: “ikon is a cake that was dropped on the ground”

friend #3: “EXCUSE YOU”

friend #2: “yg is the person that dropped it”

friend #3: “ikon is one of those cakes that has a little too much fondant so it’s kinda extra but looks really nice”

Hotshot: “that one cupcake that never gets eaten for some reason even tho its rly good”

BAP: “one of those cakes that was started by a bad baker but then a good baker went “we can fix this””

Winner: “one of those classy ass wedding cakes that everyone likes but nobody actually wants to pay for”

f(x): “the cake they bring in after everyone has already had cupcakes”

VIXX: “the cake that has all the weird flavor combos everyone is too afraid to try but is actually rEALLY GOOD”

24k: “a princess cake bc it’s popular in europe but not rly anywhere else”

Monsta X: “one of those really intense children’s cakes with flames and race cars on top”

Bonus

EXP: “the cake that was thrown up at a kids birthday party”

things girls do that are attractive that are not dainty or typically feminine:

  • yell angrily about some shit they’re fired up about and make good points but really angrily
  • yell excitedly about something they’re excited about
  • accidentally hit things because they are Too Damn Excited
  • put their hair in a messy ass hairdo because it’s convenient
  • focus hella hard on some project or whatever that they’re doing
  • strong athletic muscle sports thing. i can’t personally relate because i’m weak but you keep going, strong muscle athlete girls
  • call out men on their bullshit
  • when they give a goddamn point-by-point speech to call men out on their bullshit and you can see it in their eyes that they are not fucking around today
  • sing while walking around even though no one is really listening and no one asked but they actually have a really good singing voice
  • flip their fucking shit when they see a cute animal
  • make terrible, terrible choices about nutrition and diet and have zero regrets
  • wear mismatched awful fashion that just looks bad. i genuinely love that tbh
  • wear fashion that looks Great but it doesn’t fit the setting like fucking cosplay or fancy dresses or suits in casual settings. like they just do not care it’s good
  • do something utterly silly that little kids do, like run to jump into a puddle or color with crayons, and are just happy about it
  • when there’s a class discussion and somebody says some wrong shit and they just say “actually!!! you’re wrong!” and don’t back down
  • talk about some thing that men make fun of women for caring about, like fandoms or cute singers or makeup or literally anything, and don’t hold back even though someone is rolling their eyes

anyway i’m worried some of this sounds sarcastic because tumblr is fond of mocking girls for bad fashion and things but i genuinely find all of this attractive. feel free to add

Batfamily NSFW headcanons

Well, here it is. Because of the nature of the questions, IT IS NSFW, so if you’re uncomfortable with that, do not read, I have PLENTY of other work that aren’t NSFW at all that you can check ;-) (right here, my masterlist blog : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com). Anyway, I’m not great at writing headcanons so thought I practice a bit…hope you’ll still like it :

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The Goodies-

Bruce Wayne

  • What turns them on?

✶When you touch him inappropriately in public. Especially at charities, galas and other balls. It drives him crazy the way you do it so sneakily so that no one but him notice. It’s a sure way to convince him to go home earlier. 
✶Seeing you putting someone in their place with your wits and sarcasms after they’ve been rude to you…Oh he lives for this, and will have trouble to concentrate on anything else but wanting you. 
✶Your smile. Your laugh. The way you light up his dark World.
✶That man has a thing with lifting your skirt slowly, and putting your panties aside. He couldn’t even tell you why, he just loves it. And obviously, it instantly turns him on when you let him.
✶Knowing that the emotions he feels for you can outlast the orgasm you both had. Oh yes. Knowing he’s loved, and can let go with you. 

  • What turns them off?

There is very few things that turns him off when he’s with you, if not nothing (like literally, even when you’re being annoying, or when he’s being an ass, or if you just woke up and are disheveled and not really attractive…he’d still want you), as everything you do is just…Wow. He can’t get enough of you. Everything you do turns him on really. But He had experiences with other women before… :
✶Women who couldn’t handle a simple conversation. No connection at all with them, just sex. In and out, and then they’d be gone. He hated that. Which makes him love you more when you just spent time in each others arms talking about anything and everything. You’re the only one that makes him want to talk about what he feels and such…It’s a big relief. You’re his big relief. 
✶He use to hate SO MUCH when he took a woman out that had a “fake hollywood accent”, or any fake accent. A lot of fake French one. They thought it made them more interesting, but the only thing it did, was making them super annoying to hear so…Yeah, massive turn off. He cringed more than once because of a high pitched voice, or an annoying one with a stupid fake accent.
✶Narcissism turned him off instantly. Oh the many women Alfred had to escort out because Bruce misjudge them…It happened to him a lot when he was younger, long before meeting you. He thought he’d find a kindred spirit, but turned out, it would just be a woman who wanted him for his money and fame, and who thought she was irresistible. Spoiler : those kind of women were rarely irresistible, to him at least. He could resist them very well. He could resist most women very well…But you. Oh you, it’s impossible. 
✶Lack of passion. He just cannot even think about dating someone who isn’t passionate about anything. 
✶Fake tits. That doesn’t even remotely look (or feel) natural. Fuck them. And oh the women he went out as a younger man had a lot of fake things physically (fake ass, tits, teeth, nose…), every thing was fake in them really, to their personality and smiles. He hated that with a passion, and often wished he could drop the “womanizer” and “playboy” persona, that wasn’t like his real him at all…Everything changed when you came in. You’re the best thing that ever happened to him, nothing fake about you (for real though, if you wanna tell him to fuck off because he’s being an asshole, they you’ll do so, and he loves that!). 

  • Kinks?

Nearly violent sex. Bitey, grabby, pinny, not-holding-back sex. Paired with sweet words of encouragement and gentle forehead/Cheek kisses.
✶Surprise sex. You waking him up because his cock is in your mouth. Him whipping you around while you walk around the Manor, and boom.
✶Sex after an injury. He loves the way you’re careful with him, or how he needs to take care of you because you’re hurt. 
✶He likes giving more than receiving. WITH YOU. Because he feels like he has to thank you to put up with his shit and antics…And you do it so well, oh he just has to please you. Doesn’t mean he’s against a good old blowjob though. Oh, and damn, the good old 69 am I right ? 
✶He can be vanilla and/or rough, and you love it. He would never really hurt you (even if you ask him too, just light biting really), and most of the time you make love, rarely just fucking (unless you haven’t seen each other for a long time and you just need it)…He’s all for the sweet and cuddly aftercare. Cheesy man. 

Richard Grayson

  • What turns them on?

✶You. Your mere presence. A slight touch of your fingers on his arms. And he’s gone. It’s not always great, like, you’d be in public and you’d just touch his thigh softly, as you do, and he’d give you “that look”…
✶Snuggles. Cuddles. Oh yes. 
✶Neck kisses. It drives him beyond wild. 
✶He will get harder inside you by the mere sound of your moans…And hearing you orgasm, clenching around him, is a sure way to send him over the edge too. 

  • What turns them off?

✶Being with someone boring. Glad he found you. 
✶If he’s with a “selfish lover”. He doesn’t mind giving at all, but for him, making love is a way to show mutual respect, to show how much you mean for each other…so if he’s with someone who only think about themselves ? No.
✶When his partner is too forward about wanting sex. “Want to fuck ?” Oh. Nope, he likes when it’s subtle. When you give him sultry looks and such. He likes the building up. 
✶Bad breath. As simple as that. 

  • Kinks?

✶Once, he was arguing with you and in the heat of the moment, you slapped his face. Of course you excused yourself profusely, until you realized he went from being annoyed to argue to being very aroused…You both learned something about him that day. So, light BDSM. Who would’ve thought ?
✶He lives for silly giggly sex. Pleasure, your moans and bad puns, how could it get better than this ? 
✶Women’s mid sections. He loves slight belly and curvy hips. As simple as that.
✶He’s a sucker for romantic evening, that turns hot and steamy. 
✶Rubbing your legs, ass and back during the act. Oh yeah. 

Jason Todd

  • What turns them on?

✶Seeing you punching people. It sounds awful, but the way you don’t let anyone walk on your feet and don’t hesitate to punch people even twice your size…He loves it. 
✶If you wear a dress, your legs will instantly turn him on. He loves your legs. Especially when wrapped around his waist. 
✶You love to dance, and hum songs you like…Big turn on every time, as he can’t get enough of your voice, and you’re damn sexy when you dance. 
✶When you’re trying to contain yourself, but simply cannot. Muscles spasm and contort as you climax.

  • What turns them off?

✶Judgmental people. The kind who decides what you are before knowing you.
✶The daddy kink. Oh God, NO. 
✶It’s something kinda silly, he knows, but he hates long unclipped toe nails. Ew. You laughed the first time he told you. Well, yeah, it’s super gross. 
✶Lacks of enthusiasm and initiative. He can’t be with a woman who lets him do everything, chose everything for her. And who never initiates anything. Basically, the opposite of you. 

  • Kinks?

✶Clothed sex, because it feels like you two are so hungry for each other, that you just can’t bother getting all the clothes off. 
✶Sex games. First one to come loses. 
✶Public and semi-public sex. Hey, he likes danger. When you two are almost caught…Oh the thrill.
✶He’s very creative when it comes to sexual position. As long as your comfortable of course…He’s sure glad you’re flexible by the way.

Timothy Drake

  • What turns them on?

✶Intelligent woman. Intelligence in general. 
✶The way you look at him, with so much love, that makes him feel like he’s really wanted and needed…Sometimes, he just needs validation, as he doesn’t always gets it with his family. Fortunately, you’re here for that. 
✶Nibbling on his ears and neck, while whispering sweet nothing.
✶Eye contact. He just loves it. 

  • What turns them off?

✶Loud people. Oh God can’t they shut up ? He hasn’t slept for the past 36 hours and they’re making his head explode. Instant turn off if there’s too many noises. Though he loves your screams…It’s different ok ? 
✶If you starfish. Making love is a thing he wants to do with you, not to a very passive you. Fortunately, you’re never able to “starfish”…you’d do it as a joke sometimes, because you know he doesn’t like it, and then you wouldn’t be able to resist moving in sync with him.
✶Nothing to talk about but yourself. Someone obsessed with themselves. Oh he hates it. He’s so glad he didn’t find someone who didn’t had any subject else than themselves. He’s so glad he found you. Because with the name “Wayne” comes a plethora of women only interested in money and fame, who loves no one else but themselves. 
✶He hates feigned incompetence. Like a girl who acts like she doesn’t know anything about sex, while she’s clearly experienced. He always feels manipulated when this happens…

  • Kinks?

✶He loves to “discover boundaries”. Like what you like, dislike, what you two are willing to do, the extent you can go etc etc..Knowing just until where both of your boundaries go. 
✶You two nerds invented a secret “sex langage” to be able to talk about it in public. Of course you would.  
✶Nerdy dirty talk. Oh the puns about technologies, and pop culture you two are able to get out while making love : it’s endless. And he loves it. It makes him feel like he found just the perfect person for him. And you really are. 
✶Lazy morning sex. Bath sex. Those private moment with you, where you can just both enjoy each other. Domestic moment sex if that makes sense. 

Damian Wayne (older than his current age of course)

  • What turns them on?

✶Training together, seeing you fight and such. The way your body moves…Gets him every time. 
✶The way you look at him and tell him “I love you”. He’ll never get tired of it. Seeing the love in your eyes for him, knowing you mean it, that there’s at least one person in the world that really love and appreciate his bratty ass. 
✶When you caress his hair, fingers massaging his scalp. Soothing and arousing at the same time. 
✶The way you bite your lips or stick out your tongue when you’re focused. 

  • What turns them off?

✶He tries to be nice about it but…Body odors. If you smell because you two jumped on each other before you could take a shower…Instant turn off. Even his own smell could turn him off. Basically, if it smells bad, he won’t be able to concentrate on sex at all. He’s a living paradox however as he loves the smell of your sweat.
✶Hurting you. 
✶Rude and vulgar people. 
✶Lack of empathy.

  • Kinks?

✶Sensory deprivation. Like blindfolded, so you have to rely on trust and such. Or handcuffed, so you can’t touch and…again trust comes in. Sometimes, he would put headphones on your ears, so you wouldn’t know what his next move is by the sound…Basically, knowing you trust him and letting him do all that. 
✶He likes trying new things.But will never do anything you’re uncomfortable doing of course. Consent is key.  
✶Always the tease though. 
✶Sometimes, he’ll argue with you ON PURPOSE just for the amazing make-up sex afterward…Each time you’ll give him a look meaning : “really Damian ?”, and he’ll just smirk back at you. He knows how to push all your buttons, and oh, he just really like the way you are during make-up sex. 
✶You come first. He loves you, he wants you to be comfortable, but he also like trying new things and he’s so damn glad he found someones like you who’s willing to be adventurous. 

i binge read a couple of fics on my 26-hr trip home and Do No Harm by @redisaid KILLED ME. AUGH. naturally, i needed to draw a mercymaker angst fanart.

one of the many healing moments they have to go through, naturally.

also the french is probably wrong bcs my french is the equivalent of an 8-grader.

Little Cool Studyblr Things

•Everyone is supportive of everyone’s studies
•Aesthetic
•I’ve never seen anything anti-lgbt cause no one really cares about if your gay just, damn man them midliners
•KPop
•Languages are a pain in the ass but full of passion
•Japanese and Korean things are the shit man!
•Complete support for male studyblrs
•13-15 year olds got their life together
•a e s t h e t i c
•positivity
•support for studyblrs with mental illness
•everyone wants good jobs like lawyers, doctors, artists, architects, teachers, etc
•A+ recommendations
@emmastudies everyone knows who this is lmao
•advice to the max
•Anime is not shitted on
•plants
•What beautiful stationary
•STUDY BUDDIES

So I’m playing Breath of the Wild tonight and it’s raining in-game but the clouds are clearing and the sun is at my back and starting to set, and as I’m wandering doing whatever I notice that up in the sky there’s a big freaking rainbow and I stand there for a minute like “Did Nintendo really program rainbow physics into this game?” and then a cloud passed in front of the sun and the rainbow faded and I’m like “Holy shit dude, Nintendo programmed actual real rainbow science into the weather for this game.” and damned if my mind wasn’t blown at the attention to detail. Good on you, Nintendo.

‘man she’s been different since you left.’ he said putting out his cigarette on the wall.
'what do you mean different ?’ he asked, he looked concerned-but after all he was a damn good actor.
'well, she’s been more confident. she’s started wearing clothes that hug her curves in just the right ways. it’s almost as if she’s fearless, she talks in class now. she’s always been like, super smart but like no one really knew -she was always so damn quiet. she’s been going out a lot. I think she’s a bit reckless as well. getting drunk on the weekends, kissing boys she doesn’t care about. she punches shit, her right hand is almost always bruised. I think it’s a wall she put up, so nothing like—this ever happens again. actually she almost told me herself.. she uh. she said she was proving to herself that she could actually live with herself. but god she’s fierce, like more than before. it’s like she’s Selina Kyle, a lone girl who’s smile would get away with murder. she’s also colder, she doesn’t get her hopes up anymore, says it’s pointless, that she’s the only one who will stay. that she picked up the pieces and became her own hero. what I’m getting at here… is how in the hell could you let someone like that go?’
—  be like catwoman (a.j.)
Theory time.........

There was something about this whole narrative, that wasn’t adding up for me. I was having a hard time putting my finger on it, then Camila released that description about her album, and it started making more sense.

They want us to believe, this whole narrative took place in 2016, but when you remember back and realize, the 2016 narrative was just a revamped version of the 2015 narrative, it all begins to fall into place.

Everyone latched on to that July 4 2016 Brazil snap, of her alone, writing in a hotel bathroom, while the girls were out celebrating together, as the time she began writing “I have questions”. That’s exactly what Management hoped you’d do. If one paid attention though, you would see that the more important snap happened back in October 2016. She snapped a photo of her writing in a bathroom, with the caption ”destroyed”. First, July - October does not equal 6 months, no matter how crappy your math is. Second, the 7/27 tour was coming to an end, and with that caption, I actually think, that is when she finished writing “I have questions”.

The only tour date they had in early 2016, was Dubai. So, unless she started writing it in a Dubai potty, the rest of early 2016 was spent promoting WFH. She stated she started writing that song, “a little over a year ago” while on tour. I think her “a little over a year ago” means the last few months of 2015, September-November. That she eventually had to face her problems, and she finally went back to the lyrics she started from the year before, and finished the song, then wrote a sad song every day until she got sick of writing sad shit. That song seems to be a catalyst for her, and I’m thinking it probably  “destroyed” her to finally finish it.

Camila was asked recently, in an interview, when her anxiety showed itself and started becoming a real problem for her. Her answer was, 2015. Everything started in 2015. Her anxiety, the fucking narrative, the division, EVERYTHING!!

Keep reading

  • McQueen’s crash was really fucking brutal like god damn they did such a good job with that scene like I know everyone is all “oh haha he dies” but sitting in the theater watching it happen you just feel paralyzed because holy shit. Anyways, major kudos to Pixar for making that probably my favorite scene in the whole movie because of the beautiful cinematography.
  • Jackson Storm!!! I thought I was gonna hate him, and I did he is a grade A jackass, but just oh man he’s just so fucking cool and sleek and the black and blue coloring is sooo good. Yes I hate him but also I love him. 
  • The colors of all the new gen racers were so great!! They were all so sleek and shiny and cool looking and colorful!
  • At first I didn’t really like Cruz, she kinda bugged me in the overly happy kind of way, but that didn’t remain the case because OH MY GOD I’M SO PROUD OF MY DAUGHTER!!!
  • McQueen doing the warm up exercises to get Cruz to come with him was so great. McQueen is A+ dad material.
  • McQueen mentoring Cruz on the beach without even realizing he’s mentoring her gave me life. 
  • The entire demolition derby. 
  • I was honestly expecting the school bus to be a guy so I was absolutely ecstatic that it ended up being a girl!! Anyways, I love Miss Fritter she’s fantastic and amazing and so badass.
  • Fritter trying to straight up kill McQueen and then later while being interviewed being all exited and saying how she’s always liked McQueen was so cute.
  • “Racing wasn’t the best part of Doc’s life, you were.” 
  • I can’t believe Doc Hudson is a gay icon.
  • I make a post about a week ago predicting that Cruz would race in McQueen’s place AND I WAS RIGHT, I WAS RIGHT, I WAS RIGHT!!!
  • McQueen up on the platform with the headset on coaching Cruz almost broke me I was flipping the fuck out oh my god he was the splitting image of Doc it was amazing.
  • Cruz doing the wall flip trick. I had a fucking conniption fit it was so good it was perfect it was, although a bit predicable, absolutely astounding. 
  • Cruz took Doc’s number. So good. What a way to bring it full circle. 

I like to think a lot of shit that Danny, Tucker and Sam attribute to Vlad’s powers is really just aspects of how he is anyway

“Whoa he knew I was coming down the hallway and I wasn’t even walking, maybe he’s got weird superhearing” nope when you’re constantly being targeted by ghosts, government agents and disgruntled employees of the corporations you ran out of business you stay ready

“Dude he’s standing out in the snow in nothing but a tank top and PJs! Guess ghosts are immune to cold” nah he’s from wisconsin

“Damn he can really toss them back, ghosts must not have a problem with processing alcohol” he’s just russian my guy