[goes down on one knee, and presents the finest of candy ring pops] Peter, will you marry me?
Aren't rings supposed to be like 10% of your salary?
I stopped killing people with your help, so I am officially out of the mercenary business. In fact, I don't even have this month's rent.
[starts tearing up] We're both so poor.
Are you okay?
I'm just a little upset.
[stands up] Why??? Did I do something wrong? If you need more time, that's okay!!! I'm sorry for rushing things.
No, it's just-- [gets down on one knee] You beat me to the proposal. [presents a plastic Spider-Man ring]
[gingerly takes ring and puts it on his pinky since that's the only finger that it barely fits] You've made me the happiest man alive, I'll keep this until it breaks! Which might not be too long because I will probably lose my hand during a fight or some shit. [pulls him into a hug]
[smiles] Don't worry, I have more. [pulls out a whole bag]
And I'm sorry, but I'll probably eat yours when the ramen supply runs out.
You have a problem. But I got you covered, babe. [pulls out bag of ring pops] And they're all red.
[smiles] I love you. [pulls him into a kiss]
colour-coordinated notes in beautiful handwriting in a stunning notebook, sleeping 8h every night, waking up bright and early, fuelled by garnished lattes you got at a local cafe, listening to chill music and organizing your life with a clean and personalized bullet journal, getting As on your exams and treating yourself for your great achievements
messy notes on crinkly loose leaf sheets and ugly spiral notebooks you got on sale, living on 5h of sleep or waking up at 11 am and cursing yourself for sleeping in, fuelled by stress and anxiety, listening to your own crying while trying to get your shit together with a cheap planner filled with quick to-do lists that you never complete, always being on average in tests because everyone is so damn smart and not having the time to treat yourself because you're flooded with work
OK YALL HERE WE GO!!
1. C O C O N U T O I L that bitch is a lifesaver!! buy yrself a big old jar of organic pure coconut oil (its cheap!) and rub that shit on your eyebrows before you got to sleep theyll be thick & bomb!! do the same w yr eyelashes!!! got stretch marks? first of all those bitches are normal & natural & u should totally love yourself & them but if you wanna fade em/make me less noticeable rub coconut oil into em every night that shit works miracles! use it as shaving cream for silky smooth skin or even just rub it all over ya bod after you shave!!
2. treat yo self to a face mask every night you deserve it! they can be pricey but it’s so worth it, yr skin will be soft and glowy and clear and feel hella refreshed!! i swear by
-rosy cheeks by lush: that shit smells so good and it’ll make ya face soft & rose scented!!
-love lettuce by lush: aaa its so soothing & it feels like an exfoliater!! love that shit
-clay mask deep pore cleanser by zion health: omg i use this shit every night it is so fucking refreshing… be warned if youve got sensitive skin it burns a lil bit but it feels so good & clears up skin!
3. cliché but skincare is so important! i use neutrogena rapid clear daily pads & neutrogena oil‑free acne moisturizer in pink grapefruit every single morning bc ive got hella acne… i wipe the pads on my forehead & chin & let that settle in and then moisturize my whole face!!
4. massage bars from lush are h e a v e n l y i use tender is the night every day!! but if you can’t afford that then tbh coconut oil has the same effect!
5. sugar scrubs work wonders on yr lips!! exfoliate those fuckers then throw on hella lip balm you’ll thank me later!
6. shave in the morning!! hair grows quick so don’t shave the night before & let all ya hair grow back before you even go out!! (also- ALWAYS use a new, sharp razor!!
that’s all for now ! have fun bein hoes!! love yourself!!
as a writer and a queer person, bury your gays is shit. it’s cheap and hurtful.
that said, matt, as much as he loves narrative, is beholden to the dice and the characters as people.
allura was too close to the lair, and kima followed her even tho she knew something was wrong, because something was wrong, because that’s what kima does.
gilmore in the thordak fight just didn’t have the dice power to keep up, didn’t have the hp to survive the way vm does.
matt does not want to kill any of his characters.
he is trying. he is trying. making gilmore so much more than just flamboyant, making kima a paladin not just a bitch lesbian, making allura one of the most powerful arcane casters in the world instead of just the femme bisexual, trying to make sure he remembered they pronouns for jamon saord, making sure that raishan was recognised as a woman despite her form as a man at the time.
they might seem like little things but as a writer, as someone critical of media, as a queer person, he is trying, and dear god do i love him for it.
he doesn’t want to kill any of his pcs, but if it happens it happens. if he kills vex or vax or scanlan or grog or any other pc or npc, it’s because they failed the rolls.
I’ve been asked recently how I’m able to snag gift cards. My method works a wegmans and Walmart. Go up to a self checkout and scan the “visa” gift card and then cancel your transaction. Once the card is scanned it’s activated, it doesn’t have to be purchased, just scanned. I recommended actually buying some other cheap shit to seem less suspicious.
hello, in a move completely unrelated to any recent news stories about the babiest mcelroy brother, i’ve decided i’m going to use my newfound patreon money to start a youtube series where i put disney infinity figures in my mouth. since the game is getting discontinued them shits is dirt cheap and i’ll be able to pump out new episodes daily. by this time next year i should be a shoe in for the forbes 30 under 30 list