this set is just for sass and some wise and cute moments

Sober

2,500 Followers Oneshot

Summary: The reader is drunk and she tries to have sex with her best friend Jensen.

Prompt: “Why are you in my bed?!”

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Requested: @supernaturalgirl85


Jensen tiredly drudges up the stairs in his Malibu home, grumpy as all hell. He just lost $2,000 at a poker game and it’s safe to say that he’s ripshit.

Although he’s not concerned about actually losing the money, being a successful movie director has set his ass up for life.

It’s just the fact that he lost. He’s a competitive fucker, always has been and always will be. It’s in his DNA.

And to add fuel to the fire, his friends refused to give him another chance to win back his money. Claiming it’s too late and they needed to call it a night. It’s only midnight for Christ’s sake. Old bastards.

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Overwatch Ships I Love/Like/Dislike

Alright pals, I figured it’s about time I set the record straight with this. Here are my views on OW ships!

LOVE:
-BunnyRibbit/Lucio x D.Va: they’re the youngest of the OW crew and they honestly have a fun dynamic, being fans of each other. It’s super sweet and cute!

-LemonTea/Tracer x Emily: it’s the OW world’s first canon lesbian couple. What’s NOT to love? Cheer’s love, the cavalry’s queer!

LIKE:
-Reaper76/Reaper x Soldier: honestly, I just love the idea of two grumpy dads. The amount of adorable moments with these two dudes are sure to be equal to the amount of sass they’d give each other. That, and they’d be great with their kids, haha.

-PharaMercy/Pharah x Mercy: I honestly just think it’s a sweet dynamic, with Pharah being protective of her lovely doctor, and Mercy being strong for her weary warrior.

-Gency/Genji x Mercy: Now hold on a sec! I can like a ship that involves a character from another ship I like? EGADS, IT’S INSANE! Jokes aside, I like this because it makes the most sense based off the source material, and because I like the idea of Genji finding some love in his hard life. Who better than the woman who literally made him who he is?

-McSombra/McCree x Sombra: I like this because I can see this both as a romantic ship and as a sibling relationship. I can easily see Jesse taking her in and loving her, as well as taking her under his wing and caring for her like an older brother. It’s flexible.

DISLIKE:
-McHanzo/McCree x Hanzo: first and foremost…I legit hate this ship. The deeper reasons I won’t go into (especially since they are super personal) but other reasons are it makes no sense story-wise, and it hardly portrays any kind of equality between the two. (McCree is pretty much always the dominant personality, with Hanzo being the subby boy. Hardly an equal relationship.) I could go on about how people have exaggerated the physical differences between the two to ensure McCree is more masculine than Hanzo, this ensuring his “alpha dom” status, but I don’t. That, and the shippers themselves are nearly as rabid as the Destiel shippers in the SPN fandom, if not more so. That really puts me off.

-WidowTracer/Widowmaker x Tracer: There is only one reason I don’t like this one, and that is because I’m pretty sure this would end up being a toxic and abusive relationship, which is something I can’t stand.

AND THAT’S IT!

Yep, that about sums it up. Pretty much any other ship I’m rather indifferent about. Please keep in mind that this is my opinion, not fact, and is not meant to attack anyone. If you want to discuss ships, whether because you agree or disagree, feel free to respond civilly.

anoms

sorry again abt how slow i am at answering these – if you want a quicker reply, please send it off anon! *-*

i got a lot of questions about this piece (the TAZ balance tribute) – here are the characters in order, from left to right: paloma, cassidy, roswell, ren, june, klaarg, lucas, N03113, carey, killian, davenport, lucretia, merle, avi, mavis & mookie, angus, magnus, steven, kravitz, taako, garyl, lup, garfield, barry, sloane, hurley, joaquin, jess the beheader, and graham the juicy wizard!

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the worst witch movie (1986)

many are familiar with the worst witch tv and book series, but let’s reflect on the 80s movie for a moment as it was simply a masterpiece

I’ve lost my VHS copy tragically, but youtube has my back

we begin with this:

  • even if you’ve never seen tim curry’s standout halloween song you already know you’re going to be in for a treat with these special effects just from those clouds
  • the first person we see is miss hardbroom and you can’t help but be instantly impressed by this:
  • both her eyeliner and cheekbones could kill a man and I firmly believe that she’s done it before and would do it again because she just would

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V:LD mermaid au? Idk

Alternate names: Beachtown AU AU, Beach Town AU #2, and Beach Au: Mermaids Included.

I saw some drawings of mershark Keith, orca space dad and lifeguard Keith? And it got me thinking?

So this AU, first of all, takes place in Altea (An east coast Australian city) and specifically its Voltron Beach (which actually stretches down to the next city over called Galra, also named Voltron Beach - they fight over who named it first and who it belongs to bc petty town things?? Idk) ANYWAY! - also saying in advance: idk wht marine biologists do bc I’m an art history major… Not even in the science department!:

Allura

  • 24 and 5'11"
  • grad student @ the local uni (masters in Marine Bio)
  • Finished undergrad as a Marine Bio major and a Foreign Language minor (tbh idk anything abt Australian universities or how diff they r from American college systems so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)
  • Fluent in English, Spanish, Japanese, Korean, Mandarin, Portuguese, and Arabic (more conversational in the last 3)
  • Aboriginal Aussie (is tht right? Bc idrk abt Australia and Oceania bc I’m American? So, sorry?)
  • A strong (and fast) swimmer
  • loves to surf, swim, snorkel, scuba, and free dive (most of those r actually also part of her job - like field work? Idk?)
  • Comes from a long line of sailors on her dad’s side
  • A great singer but never really does it in front of others
  • Likes to collect sea shells
  • Can hold her breath under water way longer than most (Shay is a close second)
  • Loves the ocean
  • Owns a turtle named Arus

Coran

  • 47 and 5'10"
  • White New Zealander - Allura’s uncle (her father’s brother in law)
  • Raised Allura since she was 12
  • Fluent in English, Spanish, Mandarin, Arabic, and French
  • Works at Altea Marine Laboratories (AML) and got Allura her job (connections bby 😎)
  • Pun Man™ and Dad Jokes™ (uncle jokes)
  • Super sweet and always ready for adventure but Safety First™
  • Is the commander of a diff team tht sometimes pairs up w Allura’s team for bigger missions

Shay

  • 26 and 6'2"
  • Samoan (admittedly idk much abt Samoa except tht it’s an island near Australia sorry)
  • Fluent in English, Samoan, and Spanish
  • Also super sweet
  • Part of Allura’s team and does field work w her
  • Also a great swimmer, diver, and surfer
  • Goes hiking and mountain/rock climbing for fun
  • Thinks Hunk is funny and cute
  • Was a double major in marine science and geology as an undergrad and has masters degrees in both sciences
  • Makes a lot of her own clothing
  • Likes florals
  • Owns 2 iguanas named Bali and Mera
  • Part of the Safety Squad™ w Coran and Hunk

Hunk

  • 21 and 6’
  • Hawaiian
  • Finishing up undergrad w an Engineering major and a Marine Science minor
  • Fluent in English, Hawaiian, and Japanese
  • Great cook and always in charge of team meals
  • Part of Allura’s team (part time job to maybe full time?) as an engineer, works mostly on the big stuff
  • Is easily flustered by Shay bc of his mega crush on her tht only Pidge seems to kno (or care to make it known tht she knos) abt
  • Also likes to surf, strong swimmer
  • Artistic, likes to paint in his free time
  • Helps Shay make clothes
  • Owns some fish he named after sea gods (he’s a mythology buff) so u got like… Poseidon, Neptune, Oceanus, Amphitrite, Tefnut, Hapi, Triton, etc… He’s got a lot so like look up a list of all sea gods and most likely he’ll have a fish w the same name)
  • Safety Squad™ member

Pidge/Katie

  • 19 and 5'4"
  • White Australian
  • Fluent in English, and Klingon (the lil nerd)
  • A year ahead of wht she’s supposed to b credit wise @ uni
  • Vaguely a science double major? Idk wht specifically (no one knos wht specifically) but she’s good w technology and knows a lot of rando science from all kinds a fields
  • Part of Allura’s team and technically an intern but gets part time pay? (She worked it out for herself)
  • Her dad is the team leader?
  • Her older bro is away for uni (actually does a lot of study abroad programs)
  • Sass Master™
  • Always beats Lance in their Sass-Offs (it’s really not even a competition)
  • Likes swimming and snorkeling (can’t surf)
  • Rollerblades/skates (idk which is just the one row of wheels) everywhere
  • Owns a ferret named Rover tht somehow appears everywhere
  • Is always ready to fight someone (first shot is always the groin)
  • Part of the Tech Team w Hunk (mostly works on the small gadgets)
  • Is a bit of a conspiracy theorist (more like ufos and mermaids r real, so… Tame? I guess?)
  • The Fox Mulder of the group. Everyone has the x files theme song set as her personal ringtone in their phones

Lance

  • 20 and 5'7"
  • Filipino
  • Flirtatious bi (ladies man & man man?)
  • Lifeguard on Voltron Beach
  • Foreign Language major? Idk still thinking
  • Fluent in Filipino, Spanish, English, and Arabic
  • Sun’s Out Guns Out™ (but also Sun’s Out Reggaeton™)
  • Likes graphic tanks and neon
  • Out of uniform, mostly wears muscle tees and board shorts anyway (backwards cap and sunglasses included)
  • Does the Offended™ Scoff for petty shit just for kicks
  • Hunk’s bff since they started uni
  • Grew to like Pidge instantly (gave her the nickname bc he reminds her of a ‘beautiful pigeon’ - she takes it as an insult and hates the nickname)
  • Likes to curse ppl out in every language he knos thts not English
  • Kinda a fuckboi but is actually a sweetheart
  • Makes endless X Files jokes abt Pidge
  • Lowkey crushing on Allura but one he hears she’s got a man in her life he starts to spy on her off-duty and finds out abt Beautiful Merman Shiro and is Offended™ bc he has to give up on her (“how the hell am I supposed to compete w tht?! *grumble grumble*)

Shiro

  • Shark merman?
  • Looks 27 but what is aging? To a magic sea creature?
  • Mer-war veteran
  • Trains the troops now I guess?
  • Dad Jokes™
  • Hails from the Sea of Japan 🇯🇵 (hint: he’s a Japanese merman shark)
  • Fluent in English, Portuguese, and Japanese (for Above languages - also teaching himself how to read these languages) and tons of mer languages 😐
  • Curious Man™
  • Likes to explores shipwrecks for Split Tail treasures (humans r now called Split Tails)
  • Thinks human legs and feet r v weird and interesting (“how do u move w these things?!”)
  • Lowkey spies on Allura
  • Has an actual talking shark (same species as Shiro) as a friend/pet? (Kinda like Flounder was to Ariel?) tht goes on his shipwreck treasure hunts w him

Keith

  • Also a shark merman
  • Looks 20 but again wtf is aging when eternal youth?!
  • Is indifferent abt the Above World but is fluent in their English, Korean, and Mandarin bc fluency in at least 2 Above languages is a requirement in their kingdom and schooling but can only somewhat read these languages
  • Is Shiro’s younger bro
  • Technically a student?
  • Gets in trouble a lot (mostly bc he starts it)
  • Is kinda a lil shit
  • Has like… Only 2 mermaid friends
  • Also has 2 animal friends (a seahorse and sea turtle)
  • So 4 friends total (what a loser lol)
  • Likes messing around w humans for kicks
  • Teen Moody™

Other Story Points:

  • Allura is actually half mermaid thru her mother but doesn’t kno this
  • Her mermaid mom fled back to the sea bc mermaids and seas and reasons (she was v sad to do so) when Allura was abt 9 or 10
  • V Distraught Dad™ Alfor got an unsigned package shortly before Allura’s 12th bday tht was basically like “happy bday precious daughter” w some mer crystals and decided to journey the ocean in search of his wife, leaving lil Allura in Uncle Coran’s care (Alfor doesn’t trust any other relative to take care of her)
  • Allura’s dad was in the navy? Maybe?
  • Allura turned the bday pres into a pair of earrings but didn’t start wearing them until she got into grad school
  • Since Allura is part mermaid she’s got some healing magic and mostly uses it to help damaged reefs and keeps it a secret
  • Shiro moves on from just watching Allura when one day she’s kinda knocked out underwater from a particularly bad wipeout and he saves her
  • For their first official meeting tho Allura is sitting on some rocks w her feet in the water, singing to the sea basically, and he just pops up like “hey I like ur voice!” And starts examining her legs and feet like “omg how do these work?!” And she’s blushing like mad bc this cute weirdo likes her singing and is now touching her? Omg who does tht? “Who even r u? Where tf did u even come from? And stop touching my feet!” (She’s v ticklish on her feet) and they start talking and getting along and now their friends? Who go on sea adventures when they’re free?!
  • Mermaids Are Real™ is such a shock for her but she brushes it off like “yeah makes sense 😐”
  • One day Keith is j chillin and Lance spots a floating head in the water too far out and thinks he’s drowning when he doesn’t start swimming to shore so Lance tries to save him but when he gets there it’s like Mystery Boy just vanished and he keeps tht wtf moment in the back of his mind to dissect @ a later date
  • Keith does it again multiple times and Lance keeps growing more Suspicious™
  • When Pidge finds out tht mermaids were real her only response is “I fucking knew it.”
  • When Shiro notices tht Allura’s earrings r made of mer crystal she tells him they were a present from her mom over a decade ago and he starts investigating who exactly her mother is
  • Zarkon, Haggar and all them r part of a drug/poaching/blackmarket smuggling ring called the Empire based out of Galra tht harasses the Marine Babes and bother sealife (mermaids included)
  • To make it clear, humans don’t kno mermaids exist

More will b added on?

The Weekly Mad Recap March 29th - April 4th 2015

Warning: The content of this article summarize the events of the week in a light/meant to be funny way. One could also say, it is a poor attempt at humour really (and one would be totally right), but what would be life without all the stupid stupid things you can come up with? Let’s live Forever Young kiddos!

All Gifs belong to their right owners, we are only borrowing them. If you want to receive credit contact us…

In the previous episodes…

- Zayn officially left the band and threw the fandom into a bottomless pit of despair…

… Apparently, to pursue his own solo career.

Same here Lou! Pour some anger into the pit of despair!

- Eleanor commented that her and Louis were still good friends after their break-up.

- Liam was the absolute sunshine of the week.

Ow, so bright! Too bright! Our… Hearts… Are… Meltiiiiiiing!!!


- After a really hard week of grief, the fandom was back on the game right on time for the KCAs! Ready for the Last Minute Slay?! (With capitals, because it IS a THING in this fandom, innit?)

- We might have an exclusiv’ for you… Did you know that Wikipedia work WITH ONE DIRECTION? Bet you didn’t! Want some proofs?


This is an old screenshot. It was taken on the exact same day Zayn left the tour, supposedly to have a break from all the pressure and stress. Well, seems like Wikipedia already knew he wouldn’t come back… Fishy? You said fishy?(More on this conspiracy later)

Now, let’s get cracking!

Sunday 29th : Second Johannesbourg’s Gig


- One Direction bags all the Awards  they are nominated for at the KCAs ! Oh Yeah!And that Ladies is exactly how to make our Niall happy!


Congratulatory dance anyone?

Ow, Jesus! Now you get it from the Master.

- BREAKING NEWS! The pre-production of the next album begins ! Niall is first on the News! They all seem to be very excited as well, we know how much they like to write their own songs and we can only encourage them to since the last two albums were killers! Go Boys!


- Do you know this feeling, when you just broke up with your boyfriend, you’re still quite enamoured with him, but he was the one to ditch you, and he is doing allright,he even found someone else already? Someone you obviously think is ugly and not right for him? So, seeing as he is quite happy, you start flooding your social networks with photos and comments explaining how HAPPY you are too, how life is just GREAT at the moment, how much you enjoy it and how you don’t give a toss about being single, quite the contrary actually! Ex-boyfriend, who?

All the while expecting he will see it, of course. Well, Louis might be in this kind of frenzy at the moment. Since he was extremely active all week on social networks. What do you mean, he broke up with Eleanore weeks ago now? Who said we were on about Ela? We were talking about his break-up with Bestie ZAYN, obviously!

He started lightly, posting a picture of his new bestfriend on Instagram. (yea, Zayn, he replaced you too, see!) Who can take the boy’s place, you ask? A Water Bottle ! Yes, you read it right: a FUCKING EVIAN’S BOTTLE ! Sorry Ladies. Talking about lame replacements, really. Well at least, water is good for your health Lou, so there is that…



Next he posted this ABSOLUTELY AMAZING on-stage selfie with Niall.


Much more effective as a replacement this time. (The last bestfriend wasn’t very talkative to be honest.) And you have to admit the photo in itself is a killer! Looking good guys!

- Harry and Niall in a hotel room? Some heavy noises coming from inside, creaking bed, muffled laughs, pantings,…

STOP IMMEDIATELY what you were thinking! (Don’t lie! We know exactly what you were thinking!). Harry and Niall were said to be playfighting in Harry’s hotel room… basically that’s how we picture it actually went down:

Owwww!!!

- This is what you get when you mess with the 1D fandom: #NaughtyBoyDontEatZayn was trending for almost the whole day and apparently Louis & Niall had NO FLIPPIN’ CHILL either!!!  

A joke? Well, looks like your co-worker Wikipedia didn’t get the memo:

Here is an actual translation from the French page of Wikipedia:

“Zayn Malik would have left the wonderful band that is One Direction because of Naughty Boy’s bad influence on him.

Naughty Boy also was one of the Extras in the Music Video “Steal My Girl” from  One Direction in which he had the part of a sumo. He apparently also would have tried to eat Zayn Malik”

If this is not bloody brilliant, we don’t know what is! Obviously, the article had been rectified since.

- Also, something really brilliant happened during their gig, something we won’t even joke about, because honestly, the symbol is just too beautiful!

The boys let their Public sing Zayn’s part in “You and I”. A nice way to remind you who is now the fifth member: their fans! And, this get us a little emotional…

- On stage, Harry is his quirky cute self, asking the fans to throw all they can on the stage for a minute… Well, this kid sure lives dangerously! Remember that?


OUCH!!! ><” Even LOOKS painful! (Please girls, for the sake of Harry’s future children, AIM for the ground!)

-  #1DFAMHERETOSTAY  went trending for two consecutive days. What does that tells you? The Fandom rules Twitter? Maybe.

- Liam as usual is P-E-R-F-E-C-T , Harry thinks the same, he even claims that on stage! (Shouting his love on the rooftops, at last?!) Why? Because Liam always find the good words, his little speech on Twitter was most certainly perfect.

Well, family is family Liam; we’ll always be there for you! Always!

Monday 30th :

- The photograph of Louis and Harry having breakie together surfaces and drives Larries into a new frenzy!

Do you think Harry went to the counter all bubbly and said “I used to be a baker!”? And then both Louis and his bodyguard would facepalm and Louis would try to gently break the news to him: “We know love, everybody all around the world know, you’re the most famous ex-baker in the WWW…”. Cute.

Tuesday 31th :

- Or, THE SASS MASTER slays again! We told you he had quite a hard time getting over Zayn! So, guess he was reading through Nasty Boy’s vileness like:

And now, he is full-on set on dragging his ex’s new boyfriend! Get him Louis!

That a boy!


As a consequence #sassyLouis and #masterofallwisdom was trending on twitter all day!

Hey Louis! Naughty?


Yea, might want to avoid the subject in your presence from now on.

Wenesday 1st of April : Cape Town Gig

Wow! Everyone seems to be relieved to be done with March Madness… But maybe, it was talking a little too soon considering the date: 1st of April!

Wise for once… Should have listened to her for the last two weeks!

- Blind gossip hits us again during the April fools ! Ace chooses to have a go at Harry and more specifically targets Haylor:

Fandom:

Most of the fandom reacted quite violently, and for a good reason: as if we needed some more dramas! We just can’t have a break, can we?!

However, never the ones to blame people for a joke we will just say that: Was not really funny pal, but nice try!

It definitely was fishy right from the begining though… Really, have you ever read Ace writing nice things about Taylor?! No? Never? What we thought!

- Now here is April fools by the fandom (which was pretty bored so we kinda saw it coming):  #HarryGotArrested trending on twitter

Now, that was quite hilarious, because… well… Harry? really?

Mouhahahaha! Try to picture Harry-don’t-swear in jail you’re in for some mad giggling!

- On another hand, and this is not an April Joke, Zayn lost about 50 000 followers on twitter, following the recent feud between Naughty Boy and Louis! We hope Zouis is still BFF after the clash!

Thursday 02th of  April :

- The boys fly to Dubai, but they have to land because of a huge sand storm. They’re stuck in a plane for four more hours after a ten hours flight!

Can only imagine how your back and bum must be sore! Well, boys, if ever in need of a good massage…

Louis shares his love for confined spaces and long flights!

Ouch, the irony.

-  He also posts a video on IG from their last gig without mentioning either Liam or Harry even though they both are in the video, and we’re sensing a pattern in the Tomlinson family here:

#Louisbelike surfaces, basically #LouisBeLike is the #LottieBeLike 2.0; siblings have got something in common. They both had one of the most hilarious trends on Twitter!

- So apparently Harry is dead. We saw on twitter #RIPHarryStyles trends. Maybe, it was the result of some random Haters work and the fandom being its bright-self it turned it into a joke, or maybe it’s the result of the fandom going completely insane after a whole day without ANY drama, now they are so not used to it that they get bored! Anyway…

Friday 03rd of April:


- Here is the first official picture of the FANTASTIC FOUR.


- Lottie and  Louis post a selfie of themselves in a car.

But wait… Is there someone sitting on Louis’ laps?! That definitely looks like a leather jacket on the right and that might explain why his left arm is not in the picture.

Then, WHO is sitting on Louis’ laps, the question that might turn the fandom crazy even before Sunday, (since Sunday is officially the day when all the drama happen all over again!). AND… We don’t have the answer, sorry.


Saturday 04th of April: Dubai Gig


- It is the last day of the Asian Leg before a two months break! School’s out boys!

- The boys are very happy and affectionate on stage, goofing around and hugging each other, and we might be swooning a little!

- Louis’ whole family meet him in Dubai and encourage the boys.

- As Lou Tisdeale said: 



And this week Absolute Sunshine of the Week Award goes to…


Louis William Tomlinson is the Absolute Sunshine of this week. Now you’re probably wondering why Louis? The answer is quite simple : IG and Sassmaster of Twitter !

This week Louis was pretty active in all social networks, firstly in Instagram with this gorgeous selfie of Niall and him on stage, and later in the week with the video of the crowd in Cape Town during “Little Things”.

He was also quite reactive on Twitter where he posted lots of tweets but most notably his furious tweet to clash nasty Naughty Boy.

We can only clap with both hands and be moved by the fact that he wants to actually PROTECT his fans when he senses someone is trying to wind them up.

What a charming prince in shining armour, we’re swooning!


We would like to thank everyone that actually took the time to read our silliness last week, all of the people that liked it and/or shared it. We hope it put a smile on your face.

Starting next week, since the boys will be in a break and we don’t want to be intrusive, we will only relay their public appearances and social medias activities  and we will try to have some special “Holiday” editions covering funny stuff like their best interviews bits, best one-liners, the craziest things they have done on stage etc… So we’re certainly not down for the break!  

That’s it for this week, tune in next week for some more stupidity.
Love and Respect to you all!

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