In the post where you were talking about banter requests, I loved your ideas for Cullen/Alistair conversations. Would you mind actually writing out that one?
Set in DAI, assuming the two of them are actively traveling with the Inquisitor at the same time.
Alistair: So… It’s been… what? Ten years or so? Glad to see you’re doing better than the last time we crossed paths.
Alistair: No? You’re not doing better?
Cullen: No, I mean… I don’t… I would rather not talk about Kinloch.
Cullen: Sorry. I just-
Alistair: No, you’re right. That was a bit of an asinine thing to bring up, huh?
Cullen: The night your companion arrived at Ferelden’s Circle was easily the worst of my life. I was… not in my right mind.
Alistair: Right. Sorry. Shouldn’t have… You know what? Forget I said anything.
Cullen: Maker, you’re joking.
Alistair: Honest truth of Andraste.
Cullen: It talked? And moved?!
Alistair: Yep. Quite fond of moving, actually. And crushing things. Big fan of crushing things. Birds, especially.
Cullen: And it was conscious the whole time? Watching us?
Alistair: That’s what Shale said. It’s name is Shale, by the way. Did I already mention that?
Cullen: Shale… Maker, I used to climb that thing when I was a boy.
Alistair: Awkward. Probably means Shale was the first woman you ever mounted.
Alistair: (laughs) Oh, if only you could see your face right now.
Alistair: Is it just me, or did I do really miserably in that last fight?
Cullen: It’s not just you.
Alistair: (sarcastically) Oh ha ha.
Cullen: Are you injured?
Alistair: No. Just my shoulder. Eventually it will let me know if I can lift my arm above my head again.
Cullen: Your shield form needs correcting, then. You shouldn’t be feeling it in your shoulder unless you were bracing it into your body. You should hold it higher so the force of the blow lands on your forearm-
Alistair: Ugh. You sound like the Ser Rowald.
Alistair: The Templar I trained under. Or, one of them, anyway. Hold your shield up, Alistair. Stop leaving your side open, Alistair. Don’t block things with your face, Alistair.
Cullen: Maybe you should have listened to him.
Alistair: Well, I’ve made it this far, haven’t I? And I’ve still got a pretty face to show for it. Take that, Rowald.
Cullen: You left the order before taking your vows?
Alistair: I didn’t leave so much as I was recruited. Duncan… the Warden-Commander… he visited the monastery in Bournshire where I was in training. The grand cleric put on a heck of a show for him - paraded us around, made us fight one another. The boy I was paired with, Ferrald - he was older than me. Already knighted. I know for a fact they put me against him to let him show off and he made good on it - all but wiped the floor with me. (chuckles) I would have paid good coin to see the look on the grand cleric’s face when Duncan said he wanted me for the Wardens. Apparently he tried to forbid it until Duncan invoked the Right of Conscription.
Cullen: He must have really had his mind set on you. Did he ever tell you why?
Alistair: No. Not really, anyway. (quieter) I wish I still had the chance to ask him.
Cullen: Do you regret it?
Alistair: Well that’s a good conversation starter. Lots of things I regret… like going back for a second cheese pie at lunch. My stomach’s not too happy with that choice.
Cullen: I meant your conscription. Being forced to serve the Wardens.
Alistair: Oh Maker, no. I never wanted to be a Templar. I was handed off to them because a certain someone wanted the local bastard to be a bit more out of sight, out of mind - if you catch my meaning. I hated it. Once I witnessed my first Harrowing… that sort of sealed the deal for me. I didn’t ever want to be put in that position again.
Cullen: I take it the mage didn’t survive?
Alistair: That’s usually what happens when you’re forced to run them through with a sword.
Cullen: I’m… sorry.
Alistair: It’s probably easier, if you go into it truly believing you’re doing the right thing.
Cullen: Speaking from experience - it shouldn’t ever be easy. If it is, then you have a far greater problem on your hands.
Alistair: Are you feeling alright? You look a bit green in the gills.
Cullen: I’ll be fine.
Alistair: Withdrawal getting to you again? I remember feeling certain… urges, when I stopped taking it. But I didn’t use lyrium long enough for the addiction to set in. Only a few doses in training.
Cullen: Consider yourself lucky, then.