I don't see how Enzo's speech was selfish or how Bonnie's love confession was not fully true. I also don't see how Damon brings the best out of Bonnie(or could bring). Bonnie is happy with Enzo. She loves him. He respects her choices(smth Damon rarely does). She is his everything. She was never Jeremy's everything and she will never be Damon's everything. Elena was supposed to be his everything and he was still selfish with her. I just want Bonnie to be loved and happy. Enzo gives her that
I didn’t say Enzo’s speech was selfish, and I didn’t say that Bonnie’s love confession wasn’t true. You asked me why I still ship Bamon, and I explained why I still find Bamon to be a more compelling dynamic, even if BE is canon and have romantic scenes where they get lines like “how she’s always wanted to be loved.”
What I did say was that Enzo’s speech centered on himself, in an indirect contrast to Damon’s speech the episode prior, which I said centered on Bonnie. Here’s the dialogue from Enzo’s speech:
Enzo: It’s okay, it’s okay. But I need one thing from you. When this is over, don’t remember this moment. Remember the other ones: New Year’s Eve and champagne… and your terrible, terrible guitar playing that never really got any better, even though I said it did. And remember that I had over a century of pain and loneliness before I found you…and then three…glorious years of love. I love you.
Now, this isn’t selfish. He cares about her, and he wants her to be happy someday even if she kills him. I like this speech. Even if I’m bitter about the careless way the ship was built up, the callback to the buildup they did have was sweet. But look at how he framed their relationship in the second half. It’s about his own experience, about the pain he used to feel and then the joy that Bonnie gave to him by loving him. That’s all I meant when I said that his speech was centered on himself. These aren’t evil things, it’s not intended to be hateful on my part. Now contrast them with Damon’s speech:
Damon: It’s not just any stump, honey.
Bonnie: My grave, from Remembrance Day.
Damon: A memorial to one of the many lives of Bonnie Bennett.
Bonnie: What’s that supposed to prove?
Damon: That you’re a survivor. That you will get through this.
Bonnie: I’m not the one that needs to be worried about that.
Bonnie: I’m gonna kill you.
Damon: No, you’re not. You know why I brought you to this stupid stump? Huh? Because if I have to die, I wanted it to be here, Bonnie. In honor of you.
Bonnie: Stop doing this. I hate you.
Damon: I get it. The Bonnie that I knew yesterday is gone, and she may never come back. But I’m talking to you, crazy bitch Bonnie in all her glory. I still care about you. Stop.
Damon: Look, Bonnie. Look at the stump, Bonnie. You remember it? Huh? You died. We mourned you and you came back. You’ve been so many things, Bonnie… A witch, a human, a ghost, a corpse. An anchor to the afterlife and now, the woman who’s gonna kill me. And every time, you come back stronger. Do you know how incredible that is, Bonnie? Do you know how much I envy you? Hell, some days I can’t even handle just being myself.
Bonnie: Stop talking.
Damon: I can’t. Because if this is my last moment with you, Bonnie Bennett, I need you to hear me. I admire you. I believe in you. And I love you. The same way Elena loved you. If you kill me right now, it’s not your fault. I did this to us, but please forgive me before you do what you have to do. Okay?
This is much more centered on Bonnie, on the fact that she is a powerful, important person who deserves to live, and who he will never quit fighting for. That she’s a survivor. This is Damon trying to unlock Bonnie’s self-preservation again, to remember how amazing she is and how much her life is worth fighting for, because he knows that that’s what Bonnie really needs, despite everything in her life giving her the exact opposite: to be valued, to have hope.
I disagree with you that Damon doesn’t respect Bonnie’s choices. In fact, I think his struggle to overcome his impulsive nature and actually respect Bonnie’s choices is part of what has borne some of the most compelling scenes on this show. Because when Damon does something that hurts Bonnie, Bonnie speaks up and holds him accountable. We saw this in earlier seasons, but it’s especially evident after they grew closer in season 6: see telling him that hope is all that’s keeping her going in 6x03, standing her ground and refusing to help Kai out of the prison world in 6x04, making him feel the trauma that she felt in 6x16, refusing to sacrifice her life again in 6x17. These scenes always resulted in Damon taking a step back, realizing the truth of what she was saying, and changing the course of his own actions in ways that protected her and her needs.
In that sense, over and over we’ve seen that in their relationship Bonnie is given the space to be vocal about her hopes and needs (which is something that, for whatever reason, she has refused to do in her other relationships, whether that’s with Elena or Jeremy or even Enzo after they became romantic), and Damon is shaken into taking more steps down a path to real redemption (ie. the kind of redemption that comes from making hard choices and looking outside of your own self and impulses) than we’ve seen in any other case.
Based on the rest of your ask, it sounds as if you just don’t like Damon. Feel free to correct me if I’m wrong on that, I know I’m making some assumptions. And that’s fine. If you prefer the scenes that BE gets, and you’re content with what they’ve given us, then more power to you. You’ll probably be happier than I am with what we get in canon. So go with that knowledge and be happy. You don’t have to be in my inbox getting any more clarity on my shipping preferences :)
For me, whether or not Bamon is ever romantically canon, their story will always be the most compelling love story on this show. Because around Damon, Bonnie isn’t just happy, she is her best self. And that’s the only thing that will put her on a path to real, healthy happiness where her joy isn’t at her own expense. Via her relationship with Damon, she learns how to be selfish and fight for herself (see: s6 and using Damon as her template after she burned that tree and cut ties with the other influences on her life), and he is willing to drop everything else (including stuff related to Elena on more than one occasion) to tear down the world if that’s what it takes to ensure that she has the safe space to do that.
So even if they never use the word “love” to describe it (without the “just like Elena” qualifier), that’s what a truly Epic Love Story TM is to me.