this scene makes me feel all the emotions

10 Tips for Writing (Good) Smut

so. let’s do this.

About a year ago, I had to read a book for my school’s summer reading assignment called How to Read Literature Like a Professor by Thomas Foster. It’s not a bad book, pretty decent actually, but there was this one chapter about sex scenes in literature. And one of the first sentences was along the lines of “writing sex is boring.”

and I did a double-take. Bc in my experience, that is absolutely not the case, and if you do find yourself bored while writing smut, then you’re not doing it right. See, Thomas’s main argument was that there’s only so many ways you can write sex scenes, because there’s only so many sex acts you can choose from. (My boy Thomas is clearly a vanilla dude, but let’s not hold that against him.) 

But one of the most important things to keep in mind while writing smut is that it’s not necessarily just about the act itself. So while Thomas is right that there are limits as to how many ways ppl can have sex, he failed to realize that writing sex is about a LOT more than that. And I’m gonna prove it to you.

Keep reading

I’m bitter AND sticky so let’s get gooey on topic!

People just? forgot that ton of season 3 episode’s visuals are  actually amazing? I mean it could be just me but this season clearly trowed a ton of budget into some scenes an episodes! 

Super Watermelon Island got an amazing fluid fight scene between two giant women and it was as energetic as it sounds 

Gem drill, even tho it was pretty chilly on animation, had ton of detail on Steven’s faces, I find it like such a sweet detail having in mind the episode was focusing a ton on Steven and his connection with the cluster 

(this is my personal favorite)

Hit the diamond had a TON of characters on-screen at the same time, having in mind 5 of them where new characters and they had to design new clothing for 5 of them 

Even though my favorite part of this episode is the bond between Amethyst and Peridot, I think Too Short To Ride was pretty consistent, I am in love every time they put little lines under the eyes of the characters because it usually helps to remark the emotion they are feeling, is personal. 

Stevonnie’s back for Beach City Drift and the thing I like the most about this episode is the backgrounds and the color choices, they are AMAZING and pretty relaxing to watch on their own. 

Monster reunion was pretty harsh to see for me because painful scenes (aka scenes where the character is clearly in pain) make me feel incredibly bad, but I again shot out how they draw emotions and the subtle lines that make it all even better. 

More than for animation itself, I praise a lot Alone At Sea because of writing and atmosphere, and the last one really works, I felt incredibly… tense, when Jasper showed up, how she acted and the way she expressed herself, and how the colors got dark and the rain around it… just gosh

Even tho it was a pretty okay-o episode in general, I really liked Gem Hunt’s backgrounds, the whites and cold tones made a good mix with Jasper’s colors and really helped her to pop out! 

I’ve talked a lot about Bismuth, so at this point everything would feel redundant, so I’ll just say that the first and last scenes have pretty good colors, one being calm pastel tones and the other reddish dark tones #BRINGHERBACK2K17

And finally, Bubbled, which has some on the most beautiful space backgrounds i’ve seen in an animation product, is the feeling of emptiness that makes the most of the episode personally, how is literally just Steven and Eyeball and Eyeball pretty much tries to kill him, in other situations you can think about something going on, but is the fact that they are in space what makes it feel… well… empty, giving more focus to the characters that contrast the most in a sea of dark cold tones and blacks! 

About Cable Girls

Hello, to anyone outside Spain watching Cable Girls and shipping Alba and Francisco, let me tell you something. HERE IN SPAIN WE HAVE BEEN SHIPPING EVERY CHARACTER THESE TWO ACTORS PLAYED EVER SINCE 2007.

Back in 2007, there was this show called “El Internado”, and the actors who now play Alba and Francisco had a beautiful relationship, one of the most painful, yet beautiful I’ve ever seen, and let me tell you, there are so many parallels between that relationship back then and the one they’re having in Cable Girls, like, I can’t believe they’re doing this, my heart can’t take it.

Also, what Francisco tells Alba in the first episode, “ten years is not enough to forget you”, like, GET THE FUCK OUT, IT’S BEEN TEN FUCKING YEARS SINCE THAT OTHER SHOW AIRED, WHERE IT ALL STARTED, WHAT ARE YOU DOING. And well, I’ve only watched till ep. 3 of Cable Girls, and that scene where Francisco asks her to tell him that she doesn’t love him and Alba goes and tells him, THAT SCENE IS A FUCKING PARALLEL BECAUSE IN THE OTHER SHOW, IT WAS THE CHARACTER OF BLANCA THE ONE WHO ASKED THE CHARACTER OF YON TO TELL HER THAT HE DIDN’T LOVE HER AND HE DID.

This show is making me way too emotional and bringing back feelings that I definitely didn’t ask for. Also, the actor who plays Carlos was also in that other show and it’s just too much. But his character in Cable Girls is so so different and I’m laughing way too much.

Also, thank jesus for Carlota and Sara, wHAT AN OTP, OH MY GOD. And what I find funny about this is that the actress who plays Carlota used to go out with another Spanish actor who is now going out with the actress who plays Sara (idk, it’s funny to me, okay? I’m stupid sometimes). But they’re reaaaaaaaally good friends and that makes me so so happy.

Anyways, I need to keep watching this show because it’s just too good to be Spanish and I am literally shook. GO WATCH IT, PLEASE!

anonymous asked:

That 'its lexa' scene killed me, like, clarke looks like she's about to break into pieces....

That scene is as brief as it’s impactful and excruciating. For Clarke, it’s the climax of an emotional journey she had to endure throughout the whole episode and it’s raw to watch and experience and it just leaves me so heartbroken for her.

From the beginning of the episode, we see her being emotionally hammered down again and again and again: Jasper telling her she deserves to die, ALIE!Raven bringing up all her ghosts and making her feel even guiltier about Lexa’s death, Jasper again rejecting her apology. She has her walls up, hasn’t let them down since Lexa’s death, but It’s evident that this all weighs down on her heavily. What makes her especially fragile in this episode is that she has no chance for escapism. Ever since Lexa died, Clarke has kept herself busy/distracted with things she must do, right? First, it’s making sure Aden wins the Conclave and that he honors Lexa’s wish of having Skaikru join the Coalition and being protected. She literally rejects Aden’s offer of having a private moment with Lexa’s body.

She can’t do that, she can’t deal with that pain just yet, it’s too fresh and overwhelming. Having that moment would mean having to process Lexa’s death, having to embrace grief, which she’s not ready to do. Her only option is to ignore it, to hide from it.

After Ontari kills Aden and all the Natblida, Clarke’s focus shifts to making sure Ontari doesn’t become Commander, taking the Flame to Luna and protecting the Flame with her life. It’s her drive throughout 3B. There’s an interesting single-mindedness that characterizes her throughout the rest of the season. She needs to focus on this mission, there is little room for anything else. If she stopped, even for a minute, her feelings would be impossible to avoid. It’s a defense mechanism. She shuts the door on grief and clings to what she has: a distraction (the never-ending list of concerns she has to deal with), a hopeless hope that not everything is lost (the Flame).

But then we get to 311.

It’s a peculiar kind of episode, for most of its runtime taking place in a closed environment. But not only that: in this episode, for a long time the characters are forced to stall. There are few exceptions (Octavia and Monty), but for almost the whole episode we are stuck at Niylah’s trading post with the characters, who are racking their brains as they try to find a solution to save Raven, and waiting. Because there is nowhere to rush to, nothing they can do. Nothing Clarke can do. Even when they devise a plan to try and fry the chip, it’s someone else who has to go out and find what they need to carry out the task, not her. She is, quite simply, stuck. Not only physically, but she is stuck with her thoughts and her feelings. And that has consequences of course.

As I said before, we see Clarke getting progressively closer and closer to her breaking point. She first snaps after the continuous hits at her heart by ALIE!Raven, when she reminds her of all the people that died because of her. That it’s not really Clarke’s fault is irrelevant, Clarke feels that guilt and bears it constantly, and in a moment as tense and delicate as that one, it brings her to lash out. What’s interesting to me is that it’s not an immediate reaction. ALIE!Raven first uses Wells, Charlotte, and Finn and while clearly still affected, Clarke recognizes ALIE!Raven’s strategy and manages to mostly ignore her. But then, she mentions Lexa, and Clarke’s reaction is entirely different. (x)

It’s so different from her previous strained attempts at ignoring what is being said to her that even ALIE notices it, with that head tilt she does when she’s learning something new. Clarke here doesn’t even try to pretend she’s not affected by Lexa’s mention. She directly goes and tells ALIE!Raven to shut up. She looks up the second she hears Lexa’s name, her glare is deadly, her words are seething. She doesn’t wanna hear this, she can’t hear this. Also! This isn’t the first time someone told her she was responsible for Lexa’s death, with Titus telling her he pulled the trigger but it was her fault. You can bet that had a great impact on Clarke and made her only more sensitive to ALIE!Raven’s words.

And the comment about her father’s death is the last straw. So we get her lashing out and literally trying to gag Raven so she doesn’t have to hear this any longer.

The heartbreaking thing is that she pretty much gets no respite. Bellamy takes her place in the room with Raven, but Jasper is immediately there to remind her about Mt Weather and how she killed all those people and Maya. She’s literally on the verge of tears when he rejects her apology and roughly pushes past her.

All this shows she is incredibly close to reaching her limit. All that tension and pain and guilt is like a fire simmering inside her, a fire she has no way to cool down because as I said, she is deprived of almost any distraction. She spends the episode being reminded of what she did and most importantly, of what, who, she lost.

So when Jasper grabs the Flame and is ready to destroy it, Clarke’s walls shatter. Faced with the possibility of losing yet another thing extremely important to her, she has no way of shutting down her pain and grief any longer. (x)

She panics when she realizes what Jasper is about to do. She is frantic in trying to get the Flame back, desperation is written all over her. The possibility of losing the one part of Lexa she has left propels forward that fire of pain and grief. Lexa is gone, this is all she has left of her, and she can’t bear to lose that too. All her restraint, her imposed control over her emotions, is useless in this brief moment. And so…

She doesn’t use logic to try to stop Jasper, it’s her heart here begging him to not take Lexa from her. It’s raw, it’s charged with every emotion ranging from despair to heartbreak, it’s harrowing. For this brief moment, Clarke is stripped down, emotionally bare and vulnerable. She doesn’t avoid her grief, she embraces it. She even arrives to relive details of the moment Lexa died.

Oh, and that “I’m not–” she says immediately after, right before pausing and figuring out how to save Raven. That breaks my heart because I can’t help but wonder what she was going to say. “I’m not making this up… I’m not lying… I’m not crazy.” She needs Jasper to believe her because otherwise, she is going to lose that part of Lexa she still has, however small. The fact that her reaction is so intense and heart-wrenching is only a proof of just how much she loves Lexa and of how much pain and sorrow her death caused to Clarke.

And when eventually Jasper gives the Flame back to her, Clarke treats it like something incredibly precious. She cradles it in her hands, she brings it close to her chest, almost protectively, she keeps her eyes set on it, she is extremely careful in putting it back in the case. She takes her time with everything and if you look at the scene, you can see that from the moment she gets the Flame back to when she places it back in the case, it’s almost like it’s just Clarke and the Flame. She focuses only on that. She’s still got it, she can still hold on to it, to Lexa. And it’s a thin consolation, yes. It’s probably more painful than relieving, because the Flame is at the end of the day a reminder that Lexa is dead and Clarke lost her. 

Clarke is grieving and she should be allowed to go through every stage of her grief, but unfortunately, that is not the case with her. Everything she is feeling is written on her face, every unresolved, painful emotion tied to Lexa’s death. But the moment is gone, and with one last look, she collects herself as best as she can and she goes back to her mission. (x)

To me, this is one of the things that make this entire scene even more devastating. We get a glimpse at the enormity of the pain that Clarke is feeling, we see every visceral emotion she is hiding behind her mask of stoicism, but she isn’t allowed to properly deal with it, and thus, to heal.

Anyway, I made myself sad. To cut it short, the main point of all this is that Clarke loved Lexa immensely and this scene proves it.

5

Stranger Things Seven Day Challenge:

Day Four - Favorite Song(s) from the Soundtrack

One of the best bits of advice I’ve ever heard was from a director I’ve worked with a few times now.

“It is way more interesting to watch someone struggle to not cry than to watch someone crying,” he tells his actors, again and again. He talks about how that creates tension, because of that fighting against the emotion (and often, the obvious choice as well).

I think about it whenever I’m working with actors, but also when I’m writing. Crying can often end a conversation. If someone starts off yelling, where do they go from there? Fighting against those emotions - and it works for all of those big, strong, showy emotions - is often much more powerful and multi-layered than giving into them right away. It’s the build and then release of the tension that is heart-wrenching and satisfying.

It also can make a scene more intimate. Leaning in, just barely picking up that tremor in someone’s voice. It shrinks the space, makes the audience feel more connected.

Anyway, this bit of advice has been so dang helpful for me, I think about it every time I sit down to write or direct an intense emotional scene. Thought I’d pass it on to y’all!

Happy writing. <3

4

All Along the Watchtower

(read left to right)

Only 4 more days and I’m growing very impatient (especially with all the trailers and seek peek). I needed to let my emotions out somehow, so I drew this. Just some thing that’s been replaying in my head as a “what if”.

This took me around four to five days to make. hope you guys enjoy this little comic piece. ;u;

Dear Evan Hansen, Jul. 13th 2017 (Act 1)

Dear Evan Hansen,

Today’s going to be a good day and here’s why:

Because Michael Lee Brown was on as Evan Hansen, and you get to review him! (and cry a lot more than you already have.)

This is Part 1 of my summary and review! A second part will come soon!

I’m dedicating this whole thing to @neglectedrainbow because they seem to love Michael Lee Brown as much as I do. (I also love their writing and their account)

Keep reading

Why I want to stop watching the Blacklist (a.k.a., A Rant by Me)

This used to be my favorite show. Hands down. I would legitimately schedule things around it; I would leave events early to make sure I could watch it live; I would post about it on Tumblr and read other people’s posts the rest of the evening; I would search through multiple review site’s posts the next day.

I loved the dynamic between Red and Liz. I loved the mysteries and the little morsels of answers that we would get. I loved how, in the S1 finale, it felt like no one was safe: Meera got killed; Harold got attacked and nearly killed; Tom was shot and left for dead.

But, over the past few seasons, this show has become the bane of my TV-watching experience.

I would watch it, sure. But that was because I didn’t want the folks on Tumblr spoiling it for me. It was because I thought we were finally getting answers – which is what they teased us with every other week – only to feel so disappointed.

This last year, I made reaction videos for a friend of mine for every single episode. You know what one of the most commonly said things in those videos is? “Well, at least next week’s preview looks good.” Only to be disappointed in that episode, and to say the same thing about next week’s preview, and the cycle repeated itself until we actually got a half-way decent episode (which was usually some kind of finale or premiere, because that’s the only time actual shit can happen – during Sweeps Week).

Over and over again, both online and in person, I compared this to those scenes in cartoons where someone puts a carrot on a fishing pole in front of a donkey, and the donkey runs so hard to reach the carrot, only to never get there.

That’s how this show has felt the past season or two.

It’s only a shadow of what it once was, and I’m tired of it. I wish I could stop watching it.

So many other people I follow on Tumblr have said they’ve either stopped or thought about stopping. By comparison, Game of Thrones, Breaking Bad and the Walking Dead seemingly increase their viewership every season; the Blacklist has been NBC’s lowest-rated show in the demo for the last year, IIRC. The ratings for the Redemption spin-off were so low, the showrunners tried to pass it off as a one-off miniseries, when it was ALWAYS intended to be its own full-length show.

I understand that the show does well in DVR viewership numbers, and it was the most expensive TV show that Netflix had purchased when Season 1 was released.

But, this show continues to disappoint me. There’s hardly anything I like about it anymore. Hell, even James Spader, who’s a master at his craft, seems to be bored with it. His monologues are becoming more and more cliche, and even his amazing performances can’t save this dumpster-fire.

Its protagonist, Liz, is all over the fucking place in terms of characterization. First, she was naive and learned her “husband” had used and abused her. Then, she went to the dark side, chained him up on a boat and said she’d never forgive him for what he’d done. Then, she apparently forgave him, slept with him, had his kid, tried to remarry the guy, and then faked her death to get away with him and is now living her happy dream life with her little girl and her ‘perfect’ husband.

What happened to the dark, morally questionable, grungy Liz? What happened to the Liz who was jaded and afraid after being on the run for several weeks, or months?

She just settled down with a guy who she used to hate and she’s living the dream.

What in the literal fuck?

And, for all the time that has been invested in Liz, she has made little to no progress in her characterization these past few seasons. In fact, she’s done more of a 360. She’s right back where she started, more or less.

Why should the audience give a shit about her journey if she’s not making any progress? Why should we care that, halfway through this show, she has everything she’s ever wanted?

The side characters, like Aram, Samar, Ressler, Cooper and others are there just to serve the plot. Any time there’s a semblance of some character development or plot progression, the showrunners regress everyone back to Stage One so we can do it all over again. Aram and Samar look like they’re making progress in their possible romantic relationship? Fuck that, we’ve got to make sure Aram runs back to his abusive girlfriend and string this thing along another season! Remember when Ressler got shot, had prescription drug problems, and was in Narcotics Anonymous? Yeah, me neither.

Mr. Kaplan, who was best when she was on-screen to sass and help Reddington once every few episodes, gets pushed into the spotlight for some made-up bullshit reason that had never been discussed or hinted at previous to the “Mr. Kaplan used to work for Katarina Rostova” storyline. And while Susan Bloomaert is a fantastic and underrated actress and did her absolute best to make those scenes between her and Liz feel emotional, I didn’t really care about their dynamic at all because it felt so forced, underdeveloped, and out-of-nowhere.

Whereas the relationship that I care the MOST about – that between Red and Liz – that has been the most built-up and developed over the course of the show keeps getting thrown under the bus as Liz does the whole “love Red, hate Red, forgive Red” song-and-dance routine. She claims she agrees with Red when he tells her not to go back to Tom in Season 2… only to go back to Tom later in Season 2. She’s totally down with asking Red to help her whenever she’s a criminal on the run… but the minute her wedding gets shot up, she yells at him and says it’s his fault.

And now, as far as the Lizzington fans go, which I count myself as one of them, the show has written itself into a corner. Because all the amazing chemistry and romantic tropes throughout the show feel incredibly creepy now that Liz believes Red is her dad, regardless of whether he actually is or not. I don’t care how they try to pull themselves out of the ginormous hole they’ve dug for themselves on that one – why the hell would a woman ever end up with a guy that she once thought was her dad, even if it turned out he actually wasn’t?

And the only real way out of it is the Impostor Theory – a well-written and well-researched theory, but one that makes people have to do fucking mental gymnastics for it to work. You have to assume a lot of people like Naomi and Reddington’s former roommate from the Naval Academy who’s now an admiral, are in on it. Whereas dudes like Finch or the Director aren’t…

Don’t get me wrong; I think it’s a wonderful theory and it explains a lot. But, if it ends up being true, it means one of two things:

1) The writers didn’t plan this from the beginning and lucked their way into it

OR

2) The writers DID plan this from the beginning, which means they have the ability to be really good writers, but then they fell into all this other bullshit – like Liz’s weird arc and other things – which really means that they’re not that good of writers; they just had the one good idea.

And if the Impostor Theory DOESN’T end up being true, in some form or fashion, that means that Red really IS Liz’s dad, and this whole fucking show – Red’s entire characterization, his relationship and dynamic with her – has been a lie. Canon can be throw out the window to rot in the sewer and fuck itself in the interim, because the writers don’t even care any more.

Which, I realize is unfair, because I know there are hundreds of people who work really hard to make this show happen, and while it’s not, like, the worst show of all time, the fact that it had such potential and has fallen so far, almost makes it seem worse than a show that was so bad from the beginning I never invested time in it.

And what makes it even WORSE is that the showrunners continue to act like this is the most groundbreaking show on television, and put it on a pedestal On High, along with the likes of Game of Thrones, The Americans, and The Sopranos… you know, actually good shows.

That would be the equivalent of the Taken director demanding that his movie should’ve gotten an Oscar. It’s like, you know it was a fine movie, and I had a good time watching it, but like, bring yourself back down to earth. Taken is okay, but it is NOT Oscar-worthy material, so get off your high horse, dude.

I guess, if nothing else, it shows that the showrunners, writers and actors are so talented that they got me to invest in the show to the point where I can’t not watch it, even though it’s fallen so far and I feel like it’s nowhere near as good as it used to be. They hooked me and got me to care about these characters and their dynamics so much that, even though it frustrates me week in and week out, I will still keep watching it.

It’s just that, now, I might be doing it with a bottle of vodka, taking shots every time:

  • Red has a monologue that proves James Spader is too damn good for this show;
  • Liz is bitchy to Red for little to no reason, while continuing to be lovey-dovey with Tom;
  • Ressler survives a fight or car accident or some other action sequence with no injuries whatsoever;
  • Harry Lennix is completely underused as Harold Cooper in an episode, because he only tells his employees to do the obvious… and literally nothing else;
  • Samar and/or Aram take a step back from getting together, despite hints that they’ve liked each other since Season 2.

So, bottoms up, Blacklist fans!

 Levi screaming/saying Eren’s name in relief when he rescues him from the female titan really gets to me.

This is the expression he’s wearing when he asks if Eren’s dead.

Like, just a few minutes before that, he had flown through the forest, had found out that every member of his squad was killed, and he obviously thought Eren was dead too since he saw Eren’s titan’s neck torn to shreds. Mikasa confirmed that she saw the FT biting Eren out of his titan. Levi’s already so used to lose people by now, but he decides to trust Mikasa on this one anyway and hopes Eren’s still alive, even though he doesn’t look too sure of it. Like I said, losing people is almost second nature to him. He’s used to it, but he certainly does not like it.

He then proceeds to literally destroy Annie, like it’s his personal vengeance. I don’t think he really expected Eren to be in her mouth, I don’t think he expected him to be alive either. But. He is there. So Levi shouts Eren’s name (in the light novel. He murmurs it in the manga. And he’s completely cut off from the anime, iirc, jeez…).

The look on his face, my god. So much relief floods him as he looks upon Eren’s emerging form, and he seems to almost whisper in shock, “Eren…”. And all he wanna do now is go back to safety. And so he does. They could have, I don’t know, put Eren on a tree and killed Annie but no, he just wanted to go away from there and put distance from danger and Eren/himself/Mikasa. Mainly Eren, I think. He has orders he has to follow, and those orders are “protect Eren with all you’ve got.“ 

He thought he had failed at protecting him but Eren’s alive. It’s a miracle. It’s hope. Eren is the exception to everyone else, because he lives.

Levi looked so stunned that Eren was actually alive, like…I bet he was already thinking that he could have done something different, could’ve done something more to save his squad and Eren, who was put in his care just a month before. He was already punishing himself with thoughts of failure and loss and defeat. He is relieved, yes, but I feel like he also can’t quite believe it. 

Either way, I think that, for someone who tries so hard to live with no regrets, Levi lives with a lot of them on his shoulders, constantly plaguing his thoughts. Proof: after so many years, he was still trying to figure out the reason why Kenny abandoned him back in the underground. 

Levi remembers all his dead comrades. And while he really doesn’t know what the best course of action is, he’s still so sensitive about deaths and emotional losses, and friends and comrades, because he’s just like that. He cares too much for his own good. He can’t not care. It’s not in his nature. And I love him for it.

Can we just talk about how Lucifer Morningstar, Lord of Hell, Prince of Lies, Ruler of Demons, Serpent of the Old, Fallen Angel, the FUCKIN’ DEVIL HIMSELF, asked to save the bullet that Chloe Jane Decker, badass cop, caring mother, FUCKIN’ MIRACLE on Earth, shot him with and had it converted into a necklace, A FUCKIN’ NECKLACE, so he could give it to her as a BIRTHDAY PRESENT and not only that, but also kept it hidden in a safe (note the ONLY THING IN THAT SAFE WAS THE NECKLACE) behind a picture he purchased so he could save her life when she was poisoned!?!?

Like please…

LET ME FUCKIN’ LIVE AND BREATHE ON THIS EARHTLY PLANE! I CANNOT HANDLE ALL OF THESE FEELINGS AND EMOTIONS A SCENE LIKE THAT GIVES ME.

anonymous asked:

hey there, so i always wondered about the purpose of dean's church confession in 10x16, what the hell were the writers trying to tell us?

Originally posted by dmitri-mish-ackles

Well…. it’s a part of Deans whole storyline since the pilot - a component of the exposition that his 12 years of story that we have been watching is all emotionally driven, a character based arc rather than plot based, all centering around Dean’s journey to self acceptance and self worth.

It’s also in large part a part of my #performing!dean tag and I imagine every meta writer’s performing!dean tag as performing!dean is a large part of this arc, the deconstruction of which leads to his self acceptance and works alongside his self worth.

At this point in 10x16, Dean is realising that he doesn’t want to die, he doesn’t think he deserves to die…

Remember all Dean’s self hatred, all his self loathing and feelings of worthlessness from earlier seasons? Remember how he constantly put himself in harms way because he felt that any life, anyones, was pretty much more worthy of living than his own?

Well, that has changed by this point. He still cares for others and their lives in a massive way and will still put himself in harms way to protect them but it isn’t with the same nonchalance towards his own life, he isn’t actively thinking that his own life is worthless anymore…

Remember this?

Originally posted by castielsource

Remember how, over the whole show but particularly since Hell Dean has grown, has evolved, not to change himself as such but to change the way he sees and portrays himself to others? How he has started up to 10x16 to let some of his guard down? How only 4 episodes earlier he admitted to liking and listening to Taylor Swift in front of Sam for example? How he has become more emotionally available with Cas since purgatory?

This is all part of the deconstruction of Performing!Dean and his emotional journey to self acceptance… Self acceptance is for me Dean’s whole arc since the pilot. It is with key points such as going to Hell, the introduction of Cas and more recently the introduction of Amara as the exposition but then Mary as her extension as the actual catalyst that we have come to the climax of this arc for Dean in 12x22.

There are moments throughout the show though that of course build to this moment and this is just one of them. The others being for example:

1x09: Dean walks away from Sam to call John about going back to their family home, facing the ghost of Mary, he breaks down and sobs into the phone, revealing that he is an extremely emotional person and family is his weakness but also his biggest focus in life.

2x11: Dean asks Sam why everyone assumes they’re gay, Sam tells Dean he is a bit butch and seems like he is overcompensating (gee, ya think?!).

2x13: Dean and Cassie: basically a huge exposition for the fact that Dean portrays himself as a give-a-shit lothario but when it comes to it he loves and he loves hard, he’s a gentle lover and fell in love with a passionate woman who only left him because she thought it was for his own good and what he wanted, they argue, they stare deeply at each other, they fight, because they care. Sam even tells Dean:

“What’s interesting is you guys never really look at each other at the same time. You look at her when she’s not looking, she checks you out when you look away. It’s just a… just an interesting observation in a… you know… observationally interesting way.”

I even did a gifset parallel with 12x19 of this episode cos dude, exposition much. She’s even called Cassie FFS *Tink looks into the camera*. gifset here.

4x01: Cas looking straight into Dean’s heart and seeing that he doesn’t think he deserves to be saved etc. leading to Dean then convincing Cas himself that they deserve to have Free Will, that they can save the world and they do by s5. *sobs a little at how beautiful this story is and it’s only 2 years in*

The whole of season 7: Dean is an alcoholic mourning Cas and worried for his brother then also mourning Bobby, feeling his life is worthless if he can’t save and protect his family.

MoC era: Dean loses what makes Dean Dean. He becomes hard, full of anger and pain, without the soft side. This is frightening and he would rather die than become like this.

Season 11: Amara is a complete exposition of Dean’s emotions, as I wrote it a few long posts about Amara, search #amara on my blog but here and here are the main ones. She exposes that he feels love but also shame, that he is holding himself back from something (add this to 11x11′s: follow your heart and all the heart / love themes of the early season right before Cas gets taken away and Dean spends the last half of the season desperately trying to get him back while Amara, all powerful being has to use Cas to get to Dean).

Season 12: Mary is the extension of Amara, she is the catalyst for Dean to finally face himself, all this has built and built to the point where, nearing 40 years of age he finally doesn’t want to sublimate anymore, he doesn’t want to hide. This post is my explanation for how Mary is exactly what he needed at this point, I think I wrote it mid season, but it was clear by 12x03 that this was her role and of course 12x22 was a great big wave hello and goodbye to Performing!Dean, another meta I wrote called “Dean Winchester is going to die” after 12x11 harked at the fact that this was coming and wasn’t it GLORIOUS?!

In his confrontation with Mary in 12x14 Dean essentially tells Mary that he thinks he deserves better, this is a huge deal for Dean - a HUGE deal for his self worth arc. He then in 12x22 addresses the fact that his upbringing wasn’t FAIR, that he didn’t cope well with it, that it has damaged him. He lets his wall down, he also literally blows down the walls of the bunker with the grenade launcher, the metaphorical taking down his walls, even Toni says it was a metaphor to hammer this home to us…

So yeah 10x16 is one of the key components throughout the years to show us that Dean’s story is all about his emotional journey to self acceptance of his softer side, the side that he hides by using the Performing!Dean facade, also he talks about people, feelings that he wants to experience differently to before or for the first time…  make of that what you will but for me…

In 10x14 just two episodes earlier we have: Dean choosing Cas over Crowley (to give the first blade to) right after a deleted scene in which Crowley and Cas have a whole conversation about Dean being CAS’s boyfriend rather than Crowleys, and Crowley telling Cas that he is running himself into the ground trying to save him, also Cain paralleling Cas with Colette after telling Dean he knows him.

Not long before that we had the burger date where Dean asked Cas to take him out if he got really bad with the MoC then there was the episode where they were heavily paralleled with a married couple where the wife had to let the husband go for fear of killing more people I mean, not to mention the whole Demon!Dean arc where Cas sacrificed himself to save Dean, where Dean knows it and seems to be… clearing a space on his bed but Cas is pulled away by Heaven again, I love this visual metaphor, where then Destiel is actually brought up on screen in 10x05…. you cannot tell me that…

Originally posted by foxylosu

So yeah, this scene in 10x16 is just part of the overall exposition for Dean’s emotional journey throughout the show, it’s a part of the intricately woven pattern of Performing!Dean and Destiel that alongside other aspects of his journey make up a large part of Dean’s overall self acceptance and self worth arc, with the Performing!Dean side climaxing in 12x22, we are just waiting for the second part now… 

Thoughts on Stranger Things Characters

AKA Why I LOVE THEM ALL

Eleven AKA El AKA Jane Hopper My personal favorite character. Can we just take a moment to appreciate all the emotional scenes! I mean she has such little dialogue but manages to make me have all the feels! Eleven is just so badass, I though her story line “finding a home” was really well written and I just love how she is a mix of terrifying and adorable. Like every time she enters a scene (especially that intro in the final episode) it feels really intense and legendary.

Lucas Sinclair Okay I really liked Lucas’ chemistry with Max! He was just so adorable with his nervousness. His character is really opinionated and I love that. His sass is on point.

Max Hargrove AKA Madmax Wow I really liked her from the beginning! I mean she’s just so feisty and has a really strong personality. I think her backstory is really well written and it really make me feel for the character. If you didn’t think she was awesome in the scene where she speaks up to her brother with the bat then you a liar, she had me shook! I vote she be a part of their crew.

Will Byers I honestly thought Noah (the actor) did a AMAZING job at being all creepy spy possessed. I felt like I got to know his character a little more since he wasn’t a huge part of season 1. I really connect with how his character struggles with being different. I also love his drawing talent its freakin awesome.

Mike Wheeler Mike just gave me all the feels, his sadness over El is heartbreaking. Finn (the actor) did a great job of showing his inner pain in all the scenes and how it was something he really struggles with. I liked how his character didn’t act like everything is okay you can see how he is still broken up about losing El.

Dustin Henderson Gosh saying you hate dustin is like saying you hate puppies. I mean he just always brings a smile to my face. His smile is the cutest thing I have ever seen. I love how sweet he is, breaking all those masculinity stereotypes that are total bullshit. When he’s at the dance in the finale and he’s crying I just want to cry. He’s just so precious and committed to his friends.

Steve Harrington Okay I gotta admit I go back and forth with Steve but I think season 2 really gave his character more depth. I love how he helps out even though he and nancy aren’t a thing anymore. And you can really see how deep down he’s a good guy at heart. Him helping dustin out was really cute. 

Jonathan Byers Jonathan is amazing, I love how supportive of nancy he is, he’s just completely trusts her judgement. I also love how much he cares about his family, its something I really admire.

Nancy Wheeler Okay the main reason I like nancy is her persistence and determination, I mean the girl just runs into danger and is brave as hell.

Joyce Byers MOM OF THE YEAR I totally thought it was badass how far she would go to protect her family, you just know she would do anything for her boys.

Jim Hopper I thought season 2 did a great job of giving me more insight into who this guy is :) Him and El are really well written, I though they were a interesting dynamic. I love how much he cares about protecting the people he loved, he’s a lot like Joyce in that way.

Bob Newby Okay he was just such a cheeseball, at first I was like hmmm…He’s kinda annoying but I was so wrong he was a adorable dork and I was really sad when he died

First of all I think Stranger Things is the only show where I honestly love all the characters. Can I also just say all these actors are freakin’ phenomenal! Was it just me or were you really impressed with the emotional scenes!

10

It took me so long to write about this scene because it’s difficult for me to decribe the incredible mix of emotions in Min Hyuk’s eyes when he is looking at Bong Soon and after a week of trying I still can’t do it justice. 

HE IS FEELING SO FREAKING MUCH and it all all shows in those impossibly gentle chocolate orbs; he really makes you believe that eyes are the window to the human soul and if so MH’s soul is beyond beautiful. Longing mingles with tenderness and adoration and love and he doesn’t even bother to hide those emotions from BS because they are so unadulterated and he is therefore literally wearing his heart on a sleeve; it’s almost as if he were daring her to see them and recognize them for what they are. 

Even their position is so poignant and fitting because not only MH normally towers over BS, he is also her employer therefore there is always a certain kind of subordination in their relationship;however now, it’s her who is towering over him and he even makes himself vulnerable to her when he so blatanly reveals in his eyes everything he feels.

What I love about this moment so much is that while MH might be holding BS’s arm, he gives the choice and complete control to proceed with the kiss to her - the only indication he gives her about what he wants is when he slides his gaze on her lips; however it’s her who initiates it and starts closing the distance between them. And if he didn’t look up MH would let BS kiss him but he did and with sadness he realized that he cannot let her do that because there is still so much left unsaid and unresolved between them. And as much MH wants to kiss BS, he wants even more for her to love him as much as he loves her. Min Hyuk saw enough of her one-sided love for GD so it makes sense he doesn’t want to start something when he doesn’t know if her heart belongs to him and not to a different man.

Benedict Cumberbatch: 'It might look like an odd choice for a new father to be tackling a drama about losing a child'

Craig McLean
23 SEPTEMBER 2017 • 9:45AM

It’s a bright afternoon in April, and standing in front of me, wearing only blue trunks, is Benedict Cumberbatch. We are in a repurposed office complex near Uxbridge, on the set of The Child in Time, a feature-length adaptation of Ian McEwan’s Whitbread Prize-winning 1987 novel.

Cumberbatch is playing Stephen Lewis, a children’s author whose three-year-old daughter vanished while the pair were at the supermarket. It’s a horror that puts an unbearable strain on his marriage to Julie (Kelly Macdonald) and on his other professional commitment: sitting on a Thatcherite government committee known as the Official Commission on Childcare. Stephen is a man unmoored by loss, floating through life in grief-stricken isolation. But right now, Cumberbatch is worrying about his abs.

‘I do keep having to say to the director, “Did my body look too good in that scene?”’ he tells me, tongue in cheek, as he heads towards the bathroom to film a scene in which Stephen submerges himself in the bath in his empty, echoing flat. ‘Can you see my six pack? Maybe I should hide it…’ ‘It’s not for reasons of body image or any of that nonsense!’

Keep reading

4

Since I’m still mesmerised by the uncanny and downright eerie family resemblance Lotor has to his mother Haggar, I decided to share my feelings on Lotor and what image he projects vs what he’s really like. 

Look at the second shot, this is Lotor presenting himself to the public, evoking his father’s body language, we see it again here when he first presents himself to the paladins. 

Whenever Lotor wishes to present himself as an authority figure, where he portrays himself as an idealised image that the Galra can follow, he takes cues from his father’s formal and intimidating body language. 

However, in that first image, it’s the scene where Lotor is the most himself we have seen so far. Many of us tend to be more vulnerable and open when angered by our parents, and so in that scene with Haggar, we have the real Lotor at his most vulnerable, as he actually is. 

And this shot especially? He is an exact replica of Haggar. I know many of us point out Lotor’s backlash as similar to Zarkon’s, but most people forget that Haggar is also easy to anger. We have seen her multiple times shout and be openly angered, so to me this scene highlights the mother and son resemblance more than anything. 

It also gives us a little hint on the family dynamic in general. There’s something subtle taken from the original series. You can see in OG something that seems to be here in the above scene, Haggar coercing Lotor into being submissive, especially in relation to his father. 

It matters not if you have ambitions my child, obey and know your place. Thing is, this is the gentle approach. Even with this entitlement towards her son she is still clearly the parent he at least feels more comfortable talking to, even if she regards his emotions with apathy and doesn’t fall for his outburst. 

It makes me think that Zarkon stoops down to Lotor’s level during their fights, if Lotor does get a reaction out of him. Lotor was exiled after all, so he’s fully capable of pushing his father’s buttons. But keep in mind, this is not how Zarkon operates, if you wrong him you lose your life. 

Exile is a form of mercy, and it’s heavily implied that Lotor had resources to him and exiled to a place where his parents can keep track of him in. I think the exile is Haggar’s idea, it’s her that most likely suggested that Lotor be exiled and have his freedom further restricted as punishment, instead of whatever Zarkon had in mind. 

dating Kim Seokjin would include

▸829 words | fluff

© (photo credit)

- Once he realized he liked you, it didn’t take long for him to ask you out.

- “You wanted to date me so bad”

- “Oh, please”

- “Yeah, that’s what I thought, you’re welcome”

- Actting silly together when you are around the other members.

- Calling each other by ridiculous pet names, especially if they annoy whoever is around you.

- “What would you like to drink, my fluffy butterflly?”

- “An iced mocha, my supreme burrito”

- “Why do I keep coming out with the two of you?”

- “Oh, my syrup filled pancake, the child is talking to himself again”

- Him sending you pictures of himself and his pets.

- Good morning and good night texts.

- Him taking care you; even when he is not around.

- “Have you eaten yet?”

- “Don’t be mad, but no”

- “I have a bit of free time, grab something and video call me so we can eat together”

- “It’s dawn where you’re at, Jin”

- “Video call me, woman”

- Hearing complains of the other members but you can tell how much he loves them by the tone of his voice.

- Tells you about his insecurities.

- Vents about his pent up frustrations.

- “Sometimes I wish I could go away for a while”

- “Come to me when you feel that way”

- Going out for drinks late at night and getting a little tipsy; which means many giggles and silly jokes.

- Laughing with him because of his contagious laugh.

- Acting playful.

- Tickle fights, staring contests, trying to make the other laugh.

- “Those two never act their age”

- “Yah, that’s what’s maintaining us looking this way!”

- Scaring him all the time because he is easily startled.

- Him getting you flowers or chocolates just because he felt like getting you something.

- He likes to take you on dates, principally when there is food involved.

- Coffe dates, dinner dates, breakfast dates.

- “There is this new restaurant nearby I want to try”

- “I swear all the two of you do is eat”

- “Good thing I’m not dating you, but Y/N”

- Polaroids!

- Constantly changes your phone background to a picture of himself.

- “Jin, did you take my phone while I went to the bathroon?”

- “No~

- “Then how is it that your face is suddenly the first thing I see when I turn on my phone?”

- “I guess your phone likes to be worldwide handsome as well”

- So much aegyo.

- “You’re so cute I feel like punching you on the face”

- “Please don’t, it would be a world catastrophe”

- Likes to hold your hand or have his arm around you.

- Doesn’t kiss you on the lips when the younger members are around.

- Unexpected kisses.

- Forhead, hair, hand, nose and cheek kisses.

- When you are alone it’s either very pasionate or very sweet and gentle.

- Holds you tight when your kisses deepen.

- Gets nostalgic whenever he needs to go away for some time.

- “I will miss you so much”

- “It’s only for a few weeks, Jin”

- “Yes, but that’s too long of a withdrawal of this handsome face”

- “I think I’ll manage”

- Cooks for you from time to time because he likes to hear you compliment him.

- Buying items for matching outfits.

- Often lents you his sweaters/sweatshirts because he is entertained by how big they look on you.

- “It looks like your sweater is eating me alive”

- “Adorable, you mean”

- Taking you snowboarding.

- Going on small improvised hollidays.

- Or long car rides.

- “This is just what I needed”

- “To come to the beach for a day”

- “No, you for a day”

- Conforting him when he is sad or tired.

- Him burring his face on your neck or hair and holding you tightly.

- Laying your head on his shoulders during back hugs.

- Having long, serious talks while holding each other.

- Him staring at you.

- “Do I have something on my face?”

- “No, I just enjoy looking at you”

- Obliviously careses your arms or plays with the ends of your hair.

- Plans surprises for special ocations.

- “What is this?”

- “Are you surprised?”

- “I thought you forgot it was my birthday”

- “How dare you even mutter those words”

- He doesn’t usually express his emotions with words, more so with actions.

- But when he talks about his feelings it’s almost like he is making up for all the time he doesn’t.

- “Thank you”

- “For what?”

- “For being with me, for loving me”

- “Jin –“

- “Thank you for finding me”

- Him perpetually trying to make you happy.

- You taking care of him and making him feel loved. 



hoseok
| namjoon | seokjin | jungkook | jimin | taehyung | yoongi

that one episode of voltron s1 where allura has to delete her father’s corrupted AI makes me cry every damn time and I honestly don’t know why?  like, obviously it’s sad, but I don’t often cry at scenes like that…?  

it’s just this big bundle of feelings about how her planet’s been gone for millennia and this is the last remaining link to it (and her father!) and all she wants to do is go home and it’s presenting her with all these memories of when she was young and happy, but she HAS TO KEEP FIGHTING AND SAVE HER FRIENDS and I’m just…apparently very weak to that confluence of emotions.  also the music is real good.

Know that I love you

Request: could you maybe write something with Tom Holland and the phrase “i hope that every night you go to bed knowing that i love you”

,,Hey Tom, I know you’re out with friends but I’m really worried that something happened to you since you said you’d be home by midnight and now it’s almost morning and none of you is answering their phones.“ You sigh into your mobile, already leaving your third message. You don’t want to be that annoying girlfriend who stops Tom from having some fun, but you two barely had time for each other in the last weeks and you really missed him. To know that he rather spends his first night back home with his friends instead of you hurt you a lot, but you tried to understand him and his desicions. You let him go out whenever he wants, waiting patiently at home if there was no way for you to join.

You decide to go to bed since it’s almost 5 in the morning and Tom is nowhere to be seen. You brush your hair one last time before shutting the light in the bathroom to make your way into your bedroom, staring at the big king sized bed you’d have completely for your self, again.

A sigh escapes your lips as you snuggle yourself deeper into the blankets and rest one of your hands on Toms pillow, his side being empty and all cold.

Your thoughts are raising and no matter how many times you’d shift around, nothing feels comfortable. You miss Tom and his touch, wondering if he is still in love with you.

As you close your eyes, muffled noises from downstairs can be heard and you hold your breath, heartbeat increasing slowly.

You hear light footsteps on the doorsteps and cover your face behind the blanket, pretending to be asleep.

,,Y/N?” Tom whispers carefully. You feel some kind of relieve that it’s him, but also anger about his behaviour so you decide not to answer.

You hear him mumbling something under his breath before the metres next to you dips slightly to the left and Toms warm body wraps himself into the shared covers. You can smell some smoke and his cologne, but no alcohol.

,,I know you’re still up.“ Tom says while yawning, himself cuddling further into your side. You’re unsure about what to do next, so you just turn around and face him without saying anything.

,,What’s wrong?” He asks worried while his hand reaches out to gently stroke the skin on your face. You just shake your head and close your eyes, signaling him you don’t want to talk.

,,Baby I can see that you’re mad. Is it because I’m late?“ Tom sounds slightly annoyed by your behaviour and you let out a shaky laugh.

,,Sure.” You mumble with a bitter undertone, distancing yourself from his touch. Your heart is arching from your actions but Tom makes you sick. You love that boy with all your heart but since you’re official with him you felt nothing but insecure, his mood changing ever so easily. Sometimes he’s stressed, what you can totally understand but that’s no excuse for treating you like air. You want to be the safe place he can come to whenever he feels sad or has a lot to deal with, but you feel like he’s shutting you out. Other times he won’t stop showering you with kisses and love, making you feel your worth and affection he feels for you.

,,Tell me what’s wrong and we can talk about it.“ Tom shrugs his shoulders and you huff, gaze not leaving his eyes.

,,I feel like you don’t love me anymore.” With that you turn around once more to face the door and not Tom, tears burning in your eyes.

,,What?“ You feel Toms body shifting and the lamp on the nightstand goes on, embracing everything in a dim light.

,,You’re always out with your friends and ignore my calls why I am here, waiting and worrying about you. On some days you’re not talking to me at all, while you can’t stop touching me on others. I’m not something to toy with, make up your mind Thomas.” Your voice is calm but the meaning behind your words overweighs your neutral tone. It feels good to have your worries washed from your chest, but now you’re afraid of what Tom might say.

,,It’s not true Y/N, you know that.“ Tom licks his lips and you sit upright yourself, body tensed.

,,It is!” You whisper- scream, not wanting to make a scene but all your hold back emotions are getting the best of you.

,,To me it’s not, I love you and I thought you know that.“ He slightly raises his voice as well, making you shiver.

,,It’s not enough to know that you love me if I don’t feel it.” You whisper hurt, single tears slipping out of your eyes. You hate fighting with Tom, and you kinda started this one but you want to be in a happy relationship with Tom and not in a one-sided one.

,,I’m sorry Y/N.“ Tom sighs as he runs a hand threw his curly hair which is such a mess. You just nod, not saying anything before you say something you will regret later.

,,I do love you. I love you so much, sometimes I don’t know how to express it so I’m doing nothing at all. I thought by giving you space and enough time alone you’d be more happy for the moments we can share. I don’t want you to worry about me when I’m in a bad mood or can’t sleep, or when I’m out to see my friends. I want you to feel safe and happy with me, so that I can make you laugh and not cry. That’s why I’m never telling you anything that bothers me, I don’t want you having to deal with my problems or annoy you. I’m sorry if I made you feel unloved by doing so, because I love you so fucking much. You’re my home.” His voice cracks in the end and You can see tears in Toms eyes and a small smile creeps on your lips, your own tears turning into tears of joy.

,,But that’s what I’m here for! I’m your girlfriend, the person you can always turn and talk to no matter what. It’s normal for me to worry about you, and I’d never leave you just because you’re telling me what bothers you. I love you.“ You snuggle closer into his side and wrap your arms around his torso, his warmth comforting you.

,,I love you too, I’m really sorry.” Tom kisses the top of your head and you close your eyes, enjoying the feeling of his skin against yours.

,,Show me.“ You whisper blushing, looking up at him. He instantly cups your face with his hands and leans down to connect your lips with his.

The kiss is tender and passionate, a mix from different emotions collapsing into one.

,,I-” he breaks the kiss but lingers inches from your lips.

,,Love-“ his thumb strokes the side of your cheek and pushes a loose hairstrain behind your ear.

,,You-” he opens his eyes to find yours looking at him, the atmosphere between you two getting thin.

,,So much.“ He connects your lips once again and adds a bit of pressure, making you opening your mouth to embrace is tongue.

He licks over your lower lip and carefully sucks on it before deepening the kiss, hands roaming over your body.

You find yourself sitting on top of him, fingertips covered in his hair, pulling on his curls.

Your breath is hitched in your throat by the way Tom kisses his way down from your jaw to your neck, leaving marks all along his way. He stops just above your collarbone and intertwines his fingers behind your back, making you look down on him.

Tom just smiles, pulling you closer into his chest and kissing the top of your head before saying:

,, I hope that every night you go to bed knowing that I love you.”