One thing that really strikes me about The Scene™ is how carefree, happy, and just plain eager Jemma is. I know that a lot of people headcanon Jemma as just being that kind of person in these kinds of situations but consider this:
Jemma has been holding back for a long time.
And I’m not just talking about physical intimacy. I’m not even talking about romance. She has been keeping herself separate from Fitz ever since she decided she could help him best by taking herself out of the equation. It’s not that she wants to be without him—she never wants that. But she sees his hurt and shame and blames herself for it. She starts to think that not only is she incapable of helping him, but she can’t help but hurt him. Her very presence is poison. So she leaves, because it’s the only thing she can think of to do.
You can see when she comes back and sees him for the first time that she’s fighting herself. She looks over, sees him through the glass, and feels like there’s an ocean between them. This isn’t like it was at the Hub, where she ran up and flung her arms around him. Everything is different now. She only goes in when prompted. She approaches slowly, cautiously. She balls her hands into fists as if to stop herself from getting too close, from doing too much harm. She tries to say something safe, but all she wants is her best friend back. She wants to sit down with him and tell him how awful Hydra was. She wants to hear all about his adventures while she was away. And, I think, she just wants to fold herself into him and cry, because she’s been too strong for so long, and his arms are the safest place she’s got.
But she doesn’t have him any more.
And he’s just fine without her, it seems. Somehow they’re strangers again. He’s afraid he’ll scare her off, and she doesn’t want to break him. But you see it in the way she brings him tea and is heartbroken when he’s talking to Mack like she was easily replaced.
She bottles her hurt inside so he won’t see it, so she won’t burden him. But you can see her trying to engage him and help him. You can see her trying to finish his sentences. She has been fighting for him this whole time, and she’s still fighting, still hoping, still losing. She does everything she knows how to do, and in the end, he tells her he’s leaving.
She still fights for him.
She’s mad at him, she feels betrayed at him, but she’s still fighting for him. Even when he lies to her. Even when he tells her she’s a monster. That’s the point where she tells herself it’s over, she should let it go, but when the sky starts falling, she’s the one who reaches for him. She’s the one that makes the plan that only he can execute. She’s the one who packs him a sandwich, sends him off to war, and defends him when he’s gone.
Things are tricky after that. Somehow, they’re friends again, but it’s not what she thought it would be. It’s not enough for her. But surely, the man who called her a monster isn’t the man who loved her. Or is he? She tells herself it’s too risky to find out until she realizes that people are dying every day, and if she loses him, she’ll have to carry these feelings for a lifetime. So she does something she’s been avoiding for almost a full year: she talks to him. He gives her an out, but she doesn’t take it. She takes his hand to let him know that he’s not close enough.
But she’s holding back, even then. She uses maybes and coy smiles and somehow she’s got a date with this boy, but she contains her victory. She can’t just break the dam, she thinks, she has to let it out, slowly. She thinks she’ll have time.
She’s ripped from him again, and this time it’s worse, because she knows. She knows she loves him and that he loves her, and they could be in some restaurant laughing about the last two years, but instead she’s spitting out sand and sneaking peeks at his picture and a part of her is whispering that it’s too late, that she took too long, and this time she’s lost him for good.
And then she meets someone who doesn’t just agree with her fears. He says them out loud.
He says other things, too. “Who’s this Fitz you keep talking about? Sounds like more than just a best friend.” She knows that he knows, but she can’t even admit it, not even to him, not even when she literally has nothing left to lose. She stares at his picture and whispers her good nights, telling herself that if she’s really good, if she keeps herself contained, she might have a chance to see him again.
And she must have been good, because she finds that chance. She finds it, and she puts everything she has into it. She works herself to the bone and she pawns her only real tangible connection to him because soon she’ll have him back, soon she’ll be in his arms, and everything will be right again.
She puts five months of dreams in a bottle just to see it smash into pieces.
And that? That’s the moment she’s not Jemma anymore. Jemma knows how to win, but this girl can only lose. Jemma loves Fitz with her whole heart, but this girl doesn’t have hope anymore. This girl takes all her dammed up feelings and diverts them elsewhere, pretending that it’s a river when really it’s a trickling stream, telling herself that this is her home when she’s the one who named it Hell. This girl stops trying, stops wanting, and she’s almost convinced herself that this is a life when there’s a flash of light, a gust of wind, and she’s back in Fitz’s arms again.
He’s so happy, of course. He doesn’t know what she’s done. She tries to hide it from him and only finds herself pulling back, reinforcing that dam and watching as her love for him collects and collects and collects. When she can’t take it anymore, she lets the truth explode from her lips. She thinks she’ll take him with her, but there he is, standing firm and telling her he’ll fix it.
And she’s hurt him, sure, but it’s different this time. She doesn’t break him. He picks himself up and keeps going. He doesn’t push her away. He doesn’t tell her she’s wrong. He’s simply the best friend she could ever have.
And all this time, she thought she couldn’t love him more, but she does. She can’t stop her eyes from wandering, but she can tell him to stop. She tells him that it’s too much, but what she really means is that it’s too much for her, that it’s too much pressure for her, and that the dam is going to break. She pushes him until he breaks first so she’ll have permission to do the same. For one, brief moment, the truth explodes from her lips again, but not in words. For a moment, she thinks she’s finally found the beginning she’s been searching for.
When the moment ends, somehow they did, too. How did it come to that? How can she fix it? If she can’t have the beginning she wants, she’ll have to find another one.
So she offers him a clean slate and tells him they can start over. She says they don’t know where they go, but that’s only a half-truth. She knows where she wants them to go. She’s just waiting for him to be ready.
It’s like when she was waiting for him to heal from hypoxia, but it’s different this time. They’re friends again. They watch documentaries and swap hypotheses, and in time, she thinks she’s regained his trust. She puts out a few feelers and thinks he might have feelings for her. He looks down at her lips, and she lets him have them.
She’s a little hurt when he pulls away. Isn’t he ready? But yes, he is, he just thought she wasn’t, so she calms his fears with words and with kisses, showing him how she feels, but not all of it. It’s not time yet. This is the first step on a brand new planet, and they’re not sure if they can breathe.
She’s still careful the next day. She follows his lead. When he brings up more, she doesn’t know what to say. She waits for him say it all. She waits for him find a solution. But when she’s standing in a hotel room, still shaking with the cruel reminder that she can still lose him even now, Jemma stops waiting.
This is the moment the dam breaks.
She fuses to his lips, she takes off their jackets, and she smiles. It’s too good to be true, but she knows that it is. She can’t stop smiling, even when he takes her hands off of his face and breaks their kiss. He says her name and she’s like a kid on Christmas morning. She’s been waiting for so long, and now it’s just around the corner. He said himself that it was the point of no return. They’ve always said that Fitz and Simmons are conjoined twins, but this is the moment they truly become one.
So she doesn’t hold back. She doesn’t waste time. She does exactly what she wants, knowing that it’s what he wants, laughing at the things that used to stand between them because nothing dares to separate them now.
Summary: The Shepherd can power through hellions, plague, war, and strife, yet his most daunting challenge lies with the common cold (and occasionally his own mind).
(This fic brought to you by a skype conversation between @moonwhing and I about how Sorey probably has, like, practically no functional immune system considering he grew up away from humans and all their germs and ew. Someone vaccinate this poor boy.)
In retrospect, Mikleo realizes that they really should have
expected this, and he’s rather surprised that it hasn’t happened sooner. They
grew up on top of a mountain with fresh air, isolation, competent healers and,
quite notably, no other humans. Gramps had told them when they were children
that Sorey’s immune system wasn’t the best—something about when he was born
that they hadn’t understood. They hadn’t quite acknowledged it, of course,
still going out to explore in any weather because the Elysian seraphim would
heal any of their hurts; regardless, they knew it as fact.
That doesn’t make the distant sound of Sorey being sick in
the creek any easier to listen to, however. Mikleo winces with each wet cough.
He exchanges a glance with Lailah, worry settling itself in the lines around
her crinkled brows.
“Can’t blame this one on undercooked prickleboar meat, can
we?” he says, grimacing at the groan coming from what Rose has dubbed the
Corner of Misery.
character in general: Omg insane. but, Milo has a weakness, and so does, Malia. how they play them: Beautifully, I can feel the emotions in their writing, and picture everything happening in an actual scene. I’d have to say one of the most talented writers I’ve come across. Ok and Alec as the Joker is honestly the best thing ever. the mun: Fuck. adore. Such a cutie, and so beautiful, inside and out! gurl we on the same brain wave ok
follow them: Fuck yes rp with them: ALways! want to rp with them: YESS ship their character with mine: omg give me all the fucking ships and Au’s pls. I love them so much.
what is my;
overall opinion: omg one of the best oc’s I follow. I just- I can’t put into words how much I adore you, and what you do on here. Thank you for all the feels, and love < 3
Things I like about them- He’s got glasses and he’s a beautiful butterfly
Things I don’t like about them- not that interesting to me
Favorite episode/scene/issue- Being taught by Rin how to swim
Favorite line- idk
Non-romantic OTP - he and Rin are bros
A Head Canon - Called Makoto ‘mom’ one time
An Unpopular opinion - I don’t think he was a very interesting character, sorry:(
A wish - I hope he’s happy
An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen - take drugs
5 words to best describe them - megane, butterfly, boring, nerd, ???
My nickname for them - nah