You pull a face and poke it towards the stage and la-di-da we sing and dance and tumble around and all you see up here, it’s not people, you don’t see people up here, it’s all fodder. And the faker the fodder is the more you love it because fake fodder’s the only thing that works anymore, fake fodder is all that we can stomach — actually not quite all. Real pain, real viciousness, that we can take. Yeah, stick a fat man up a pole and we’ll laugh ourselves feral cause we’ve earned the right, we’ve done cell time and he’s slacking the scum so ha ha ha at him. Cause we’re so out of our minds with desperation we don’t know any better. All we know is fake fodder and buying shit. That’s how we speak to each other, how we express ourselves is buying shit. Show us something real and free and beautiful– you couldn’t. It’d break us, we’re too numb for it, our minds would choke. There’s only so much wonder we can bear, that’s why when you find any wonder whatsoever you dole it out in meager portions, and only then til it’s augmented and packaged and pumped through ten thousand pre-assigned filters, til it’s nothing more than a meaningless series of lights, while we ride day-in, day-out — going where? Powering what? All tiny cells in tiny screens and bigger cells in bigger screens and fuck you. Fuck you, that’s what it boils down to is fuck you. Fuck you and your spotlight and your sanctimonious faces and fuck you all, for taking the one thing I ever came close to anything real about anything.
So I’ve been on this kick of watching really bad movies, so I thought, why not try to watch some klaroline scenes? It’d been so long, and girls are still so obsessed with it, that I wanted to check it out again and see if there was an appeal there that had gone unnoticed by me. After all, it couldn’t be as bad as I remember. I was right; It was worse.
The dialogue is downright godawful. I’ve never seen a romance spell out what it is as much as klaroline. Klaus’ character is verbally pitching the idea to us at every turn, literally listing off the reasons Caroline fits the role, “you’re beautiful, you’re strong, you’re full of light” And how exactly does he know any of this? Was this during the imaginary time he spent falling in love with her that the writers didn’t bother to show for…reasons? But I’ll get to that later. The writers, when it came to klaroline, didn’t believe in subtly one bit. “So you’ve never felt the attraction that comes when someone whose capable of doing terrible things for some reason cares only about you.” Holy shit, captain obvious is writing this story! Instead of showing us this angle, the writers take the lazy way out and have Klaus tell the audience that this is what the story is, because even the writers realize they’re failing. How bad can this get?
Let’s look at all the iconic romantic scenes they have. There’s him giving her his blood–after he bit her. There’s him saving her life–after he stabbed her and bit her on the neck and watched her slowly die. There’s that cringe inducing speech about the hummingbird that only shippers thought wasn’t hilarious. Oh and there’s their sex scene which was a quick hump against a tree that lacked any kind of romance. And here’s a glaring fact that’s always bothered me: Klaroline literally has no beginning. To this day I’m sure the writers have no idea when Klaus spontaneously fell for Caroline. Most love stories have a beginning and an end, and Klaroline only has an ending.
I don’t even need to get into how gross and abusive the relationship is because the story speaks for itself, so I’ll get into the overall structure. The progression of the relationship was terrible. Nothing about it felt natural. One episode they’re screaming at each other (big shock), and then the next episode it’s like it never happened. Like the writers literally couldn’t remember where they had left off and were too lazy to go back and watch. And boy were their scenes ever repetitive. Flirt, rejection, fight, roll credits annnnd reuse. Every scene is Klaus rambling about himself and not giving a shit about what Caroline is into.
But let’s get to probably the worst part of this story: the character assassination. Caroline and Klaus were my favorite characters before their first big scene. You would think finding out your fave male and fave female were getting together would be awesome, but no, no, no. In order for Klaroline to happen, their characters had to be stripped of everything that made them worth watching. Caroline, who had finally come into her own and turned into a brave, strong woman, was now shrieking in every episode and obsessing over the men in her life (and her awesome relationship with Stefan vanished), and let’s not forget the prom dress scenario. What happened to a wounded Care telling Stefan, “I’m not girly little Caroline anymore.” And then there’s Klaus…dear God, Klaus. Remember the villain who showed up at the end of season 2, who had followers, who had Katherine running for hundreds of years? Wasn’t that fun? Instead let’s have him talk about hummingbirds, paint ponies and snowflakes, follow around a seventeen year old girl like a lost puppy dog, get outwitted by newbie vamps, and come across like a generally pathetic stalker who shows love by shoving a lamp in your gut. Now doesn’t that sound like a great character! I will say, these characters have made a recovery, but them being on separate shows had to happen in order to achieve this. Not a coincidence.
In short: Klaroline is insulting to my brain as a human being, adult, woman, and a writer. It’s the kind of storyline you expect a teenage girl to be writing in her notepad that never sees the light of day. I’m just sincerely relieved to know it’s dead.
I am, I still have a few asks but I haven’t had my computer these last few days.
I’m gonna go ahead and cheat and pick two because they’re very different and I couldn’t choose, it’s a tie.
4x07 is probably my favourite KC episode ever because it’s so simple and fun. You know that Klaus came in to be the big bad hybrid and he was one of the best villains the show has ever had and he has this “I’ve lived, I’ve been around for a long time” pretentiousness about him and he’s a painter and whatnot but in this scene he’s none of the above, he’s just a guy taking Caroline out on a date and trying to get to know her and resonate with her life and what’s important to her. Also Caroline always tries to be on the fence about Klaus but here she just gets swept up in the moment. I just found it very charming and playful.
As for the second one, it’ll come as no suprise, such an iconic Vampire Diaries scene that it almost doesn’t need an explanation, 4x23. Let’s just address the context, Klaus had no business being in MF anymore, he was on his way there solely because he received her graduation announcement ffs, and then the love declaration that ended all love declarations, the promise that maybe in a year or even in a century they’ll meet again, that maybe there’s another story left to be told between the two of them.
Ah this is hard. i’m not going to cop out and say one i’ve not yet published but. i’m not sure i have an out and out favorite. If we consider all of In Memoriam one scene then probably that because Bruce POV was not natural for me, so I’m quite proud of that one and that memorial case was killing me.
Parts of come away with the flying gang might count too but that’s less a scene and more ‘look at my entire baby it’s got action scenes i’m so proud’.
25. favorite line you’ve ever written
“Most Kryptonians draw power from sunlight,” Kon said. “But I’m half-Luthor so I draw strength from Superman’s bitter tears instead.”
It’s time to go indepth about this scene because its legit one of my favorites now and just so good and pure and has to be their softest scene ever (beside the hand holding scene obviously). Let’s break my favorite parts of it down:
I just loved how much Root touched Shaw’s face during all of it. She couldn’t stop and it was so precious and gentle. The gentlest we’ve ever seen Root to be quite honest. She knew Shaw had been through a lot (not the full extent) and wasn’t trying to scare her away which I just adored.
And this is probably my favorite part of the whole thing. Look at all the small details though; Root holding Shaw’s little bundled up sweater hand and caressing Shaw’s face (again) and even Shaw running her own hand down Root’s arm. I can’t y’all. It’s just soooo unbearably soft and tender. And the second still, Shaw wanted this to be the real Root so so bad. Look at her closing her eyes reveling in this moment. Root is her safe place, she felt so safe again. More than she has in almost a year. Even if this moment ended up being another simulation, she was gonna enjoy this.
And then here, Root put Shaw’s hand on her heart to try her best and convince Shaw that this was INDEED real. Shaw was THIS close to believing it too. She doesn’t know what to think but Root really putting Shaw’s hand on her heart was just the cutest. I cannot take how intimate it was.
I know we all had our problems with season 5 especially in relation to Shoot buuut this is one scene that I will forever love and cherish. The small tidbits alone make it beautiful. Plus soooo much touching.
I’m not the first to talk about how Splinter is like April’s Dad-away-from-Dad, and of course it’s obvious that April has become like a daughter to Splinter. Still, I just thought I’d share some of my thoughts and favorite moments of these two.Their relationship in the 2012 series is just so beautiful.
They both know what it’s like to lose their family. I can’t help but notice that so far, Splinter has been separated from his daughter three times.
Likewise, April has been separated from her father three times.
I think April’s able to understand Splinter’s pain - maybe not 100% - but more so than the boys. Nothing can compare to losing a spouse and child… but for April, losing her mother at the age of six, feeling like she lost her all over again at sixteen, and repeatedly losing her father makes her well acquainted with the pain of losing immediate family.
The first time April lost her dad, Splinter became the father-figure she still needed in her life… and it wasn’t long before he began to care for her as his own.
It must have been hard for him to give April the tessen he wished he could have given Miwa.
It’s possible there was a part of him that felt like he was losing the last bit of his baby daughter he had left. But then, Splinter is never the one to see the glass as half-empty. Maybe he saw giving the tessen to April as a symbol of gaining a daughter… not losing one. Either way… this scene gave me feels.
I thought it was beautiful how Splinter views April (and even Casey) as part of his family.
This next scene is probably my favorite Splinter and April scene.
First of all, look how worried he is about her.
But April wasn’t worried at all. She’d grown to trust him so much that she knew without a shadow of a doubt that she could drop from twelve to fifteen feet in the air while he was yards away and he would STILL catch her.
Princess Anna’s got nothin’ on this “crazy trust exercise.”
And then, this:
She knows she’s in trouble. She knows she deserves whatever lecture he’s going to give her, but ever the daddy’s girl, she makes light of the situation and tries to deflect any discipline with cuteness.
And this is another one of those moments when you just know she’s one of his kids.
I doubt he actually gave her the whooping he gave the boys. He probably just called her dad. (I bet they have some sort of dad network going on that someday Casey’s dad will be added to if he ever finds out who his son’s friends are.)
All this to say, I love how Splinter and April are there for each other. I love that Splinter is April’s Dad-away-from-Dad, and I love that April has become like a daughter to Splinter… and at a time when he thought his daughter was lost forever, too.
They’re by no means replacements to each other. When April is separated from her dad, she always wants him back. And Splinter will always long to be reunited with his own child.
Still, I think Splinter provides April with the stability she needs, while she in return has helped him heal in some ways.
I know I’ve already used this word… twice… but it’s just so beautiful! Of course, I’m always a sucker for adoptive father/adopted daughter stories.
2.things that motivate you For writing I am always motivated by a prompt! But it can be anything that starts me off, a word or a phrase, an emotion (quite often, in all my writing), a scene, an ending point to get to. But, I am a pantser (I write by the seat of my pants) and I believe that the characters are taking me on THEIR journey through MY writing. So, I guess that motivation comes through the words I put down on the page - the characters talk or they’re in a scene/setting and I follow. I usually have no idea what is going to happen, other than a vague feeling that I want a particular ending or a particular scene.
22. favorite story you’ve ever written My favourite fanfic is probably All The Little Things because I had never done a missing scene fic before and I felt quite emotional about these characters having a conversation as important as Scully’s remission. But, I also like my Australian AU Under a Wide Sky because I have never written a casefile or anything remotely similar in my life. It was a huge undertaking as I intended it to be a three parter of around 2000 words each, but it ended up being seven parts of about 4000 words, so it’s a novella really! It was a fun but challenging story to write. And I don’t think I’ve read anything with an Australian setting in this fandom. It’s probably full of plot holes, but I had a crack, and I’m pretty proud of that.
I’m fond of the scene in my post-Never Again prompt in which Scully stands up to Mulder & calls him on his machismo bullshit. I personally feel that Possessive!Mulder in fanfic gets a pass on his shitty behavior a lot (or rewarded for it) & I wanted to do something different.
In Just A Drink Pt. 4, the scene where Scully & Leyla discuss the women they hurt in the past is close to my heart for various reasons, & I was pretty proud of how it turned out.
25. Favorite line you’ve ever written?
This is way too hard. I’m so critical of the way things are worded in my writing, always. I don’t know if this is my all-time favorite line, but I do kind of like it: “… if you could feel anything other than blind anguish, you’d be angry, because it isn’t fair. Nothing that has happened tonight has been with your permission. Nothing that has happened in as long as you can remember has been with your fucking permission.” (From my post-Orison “Things You Said When I Was Crying” prompt.)
30. Hardest part of writing?
For me, it’s making sure I’m not being redundant. I tend to overuse phrases or words if I’m not careful, & then it starts to get repetitive & boring. This is especially true when I write dialogue. (That, & not letting self-doubt destroy me within seconds of beginning a story.)
31. Easiest part of writing?
I guess I’m a poet at heart, because I love writing flowery prose, inner dialogue, characters’ feelings & struggles, that kind of thing. It comes naturally to me. Analogies & similes & metaphors, oh my.
Hi, Immy! For the fic writers meme, I'd like to know about 6, 24, and 39 please! (If you're still doing that, that is.)
Hei! Yeah I am… taking a break from writing the new chapter haha. Takk for the ask!
6. how did writing change you?
Big guns for the first question… wow. I don’t think writing has changed me but apparently it has. My best friend says I’m less grumpy now I have an ‘emotional outlet’ but lol who knows. I didn’t think I’d end up writing fanfiction but hey it has been good for improving my English so… (he says with fingers and toes crossed)
24. favorite scene you’ve ever written
faeeeen definitely NOT the sex scene, that was so fucking difficult. probably the scene where Tobias and Fredrik get found out by their friends because it was so funny in the show and it was fun trying to get that kind of vibe in this AU
39. do you want to be published some day?
fuck no, being published on ao3 is enough lol. I don’t think I’m a great writer or anything haha, I’ll probably just do it for fun and to chill? I don’t know what I want to do with my life yet but I can see myself doing something more science for a living you know