this scene gave me a lot of feels ok :')


OK, so this meme out of Great Comet it literally my favorite thing ive ever seen bc it is something that Tolstoy actually does in Anna Karenina. THIS IS MY FAVORITE SCENE OF THE BOOK AND ITS SO RIDICULOUS BUT ALSO SO ROMANTIC AND JUST 😍, BUT I LOVE THE MEME BC TOLSTOY WOULF HAVE BEEN LIKE YOOOOO HE IN LOVE. this just gave me a lot of feels and i thought id share

Musketeers 2x10 (Spoilers)

Okay, I am going to do yet another rant because this show’s previous episode was so suspenseful and intense and its finale was nearly perfect in every way.  I only started watching The Musketeers this summer (because the BBC played previews so much during their promotion of Doctor Who’s season eight premiere ).  But in such a short span of time, the show has got me hooked line and sinker and now ties with Doctor Who as my favorite current tv show.  So now, here is the break down of the Season 2 finale of this beautiful, wonderful show:

-Omfg, I was so freaking nervous about Constance and holy shit, what an incredible rescue.  Athos, D’artagnan, and Treville are bosses.  Once again, Constance has shown she is equally if not more tough than the Musketeers by refusing the blind fold before the almost execution. Props for Treville for handing Rochefort’s ass to him and showing that loyalty is far stronger than any manipulation.

-Ah, Porthos and the Spanish ambassador.  That was a western style shoot out  and it was brilliant.  He’s got some serious balls for taking out like ten guards on his own and a great strategy with having guns in specific places on the forest ground.  And lets not forget Constance with her zinger line to the Spanish ambassador: “Perhaps, I bring men to fight for me.”That’s another great thing about The Musketeers is that it says fuck you to sexism.  I mean because Treville is such a dad, he at first shoots Constance down when she days she wants to come with, but not one objects after she says that Rochefort is her enemy too (Lemay was her medical bro).  D’artagnan treats her more as an equal in this episode and only tells her to be careful.  God, the four of them were so awesome together.

-Milady-master of sass: “God works in mysterious ways” when saving Aramis.  It was also very much of a “surprise bitch, thought you’d seen the last of me” moment that made me laugh.  While showing that Milady is a bamf (but we already knew that), the scene also intrigued me.  It shows the contradictions Aramis is made of.  On one hand he is the Don Juan, a great soldier and not bad with charming the ladies.  On another hand, he has a deep respect for God and has a strong sense of what is right and what is wrong (which he may not always act on, but what can we expect, he’s human).  We can see the look/mask of Milady fade when Aramis just punches out the guard (He says she doesn’t have to kill him) and says that she values life too lightly.  The thief, the manipulator, and the chameleon will always be a part of her, but that doesn’t erase the desperate girl (when she was a common street thief) and the desperate woman (the genuine feelings for Athos and her attempt to clean herself up through her marriage) thats also inside.   

-I don’t think BBC ruined Milady’s character by having the scene between her and Athos saying that they are bound together (a fear that some fans have).  It showed a lot of vulnerability on on both their parts.  It in no way, dumbed down their story line.  In fact, it made it much more complicated because she gave Athos an ultimatum.  Deep down she knows Athos will choose the musketeers because its his duty, but she still hopes to have the life with Athos that they were robbed of.  She doesn’t outwardly say she loves him and neither does he.  I had major feels when Athos in his own way said he loved her by saying “It rains a lot in England…”  My Milathos feels, you guys…

-The scenes with Louis and Rochefort were like WTF, but at the same time, gave me more perspective on Louis’ character.  He is so alone in the world (father was murdered, his trusted advisor is dead, he’s been kidnapped (ok that one was more his fault), and he had a psycho play russian roulette with his wife and child).  I understand his feelings of paranoia and since he’s super weak minded, it makes sense he’d latch on to Rochefort.  Louis desperately wants to save his wife because she is the only companion he has had.  Multiple times, he pretty much tells Rochefort to shut the fuck up, because having to execute his wife and give up his son is in no way just a matter of state.  I still don’t excuse him though for giving in and signing Anne’s death warrant.  And OMFG, after the emo-king phase, is he really ready to declare a war with Spain like a day later…Jesus, his character is so flippant.

-The trial scene  for the most part went the way I expected (good for you, Aramis for calling Rochefort out), and, therefore, I was more interested in watching Magritte.  I like the subtleness they put with her character to show how much her guilt is destroying her from the inside out.  She looks so worn out with dark circles around her eyes and the dark gowns.  Her face looks pale and angular.  I know some of you were like she got what she deserved when she killed herself, but I always to a degree felt sorry for her.  She was at the mercy of Rochefort (you have to really understand the time period to understand how much reputation and position meant economically for not only a singular woman/girl, but also for her family). In the end, she is laughed at for having confessed for sleeping with Aramis, which was the thing she was trying desperately to both hide (her reputation) and forget (her broken heart).  Rochefort completely threw her under the bus by doing this and therefore, like Lemay, I’d count her as another victim of Rochefort’s cruelty and ruthlessness. 

-My boys and Constance storming the palace gave me the “hell yeah” feeling and was the centerpiece of the episode.  And Treville was there with them, which gave him an opportunity to dad (he can never not do this) and reclaim his honor (not that it was actually gone, but you know, Louis ruined him).  Man, and the scene leading up to it, showed a huge character growth in Queen Anne, especially with another verbal bitch slap (”know that I did not think a day about you” when Rochefort was being the creepy dude he is).Anne was every bit a queen when she knew/saw what Rochefort intended to do with the chain.  There was no fear in her eyes, just utter bravery (something her husband should really get).  There’s so much coldness when Rochefort looks up at her after being stabbed and she looks back, unemotionally, and does not move an inch.  She’s no longer so naive nor merciful to others who dare threaten her.

-Rochefort, the douche/fuckboy he is, is one tough fuck.  I mean he gets shot in the arm by Constance, stabbed in the back by Aramis, and he’s still able to fight?  And he just pulls the sword out of his back and tries to fight D’artagnan, Athos, and Porthos. As evil as he’s been the whole series, the comparison i made to Rochefort’s last moments was that of a trapped animal.  He knows that Anne despises him, the Spanish ambassador spilled everything, and that Aramis can no longer be executed.  He’s been tortured physically for five years (also lets you know how sadistic the Spanish ambassado is) and now the only thing left to do is not surrender/face execution to gain half an ounce or redemption, but to claw and snarl back.

-On that note, I’ve got to say, I think everyone within the show, was shocked at D’artagnan straight up stabbing Rochefort through the heart.  I mean, I know earlier he said Rochefort is mine, but he had a certain coldness in his eyes and an element of ruthlessness (Rochefort was pretty much done for anyway).  And no, I’m not at at all sympathizing with Rochefort, it’s more on the grounds of the Musketeer’s code of honor.  I think it opens up the gate for a little more darkness for D’artagnan’s character.  Not that I want him to go the opposite direction from the way he already is (love my Musketeers the way they are), but it’s a definite step away from innocence.  Basically, it opens up for more character development for season 3.  

-The wedding was freaking adorable and one that D’artagnan and Constance deserved.  It was so sweet Athos walked her down the isle (he’s so much like Treville).  The only bad thing Treville has done the entire show was cock block Athos from getting to Milady on time by telling him he has to prepare for war.  There’s a sense of grief as he watches the wedding of his friend out of his own broken marriage and it is the trigger that pushes something inside him to say that he wants to fix it. His bros cover for him as he neglects Treville’s orders to go and catch her carriage.  Once again, Milady’s vulnerability is shown through the scenes in between.  She’s dressed in a flowy, blue gown, which was very good symbolism to show that she is bearing herself to Athos and is opening herself up to the feelings of guilt/despair but also hope.  The way she jumped out of the carriage when she heard that random horseman was so heartbreaking.  I wonder if she thinks that Athos doesn’t love her now…NOOOOOOOOOOOO, but we know he does.  So sad that he realizes he’s too late and he finds the singular blue glove. He’s heartbroken…Damn you BBC, she better be coming back.

-Whelp, Aramis learned the moral of the story and that is to control his dick.  But in all seriousness, I think his commitment to live a monastic life shows more about his character and that he truly is trying to fix who is as a person.  He cannot bring the Cardinal’s mistress or Magritte back to life nor can he take back how much fucking danger he put Anne in.  He realizes that and him staying away and living a different life is part of the long road of redemption.  As Porthos said, “That boy is the king’s son.”  I mean, I was heartbroken when he said he was leaving, because he’s my favorite (okay, it’s actually always been a tie between him and Athos because I can relate a lot to Athos and he’s basically the Obi-Wan of the show).  And I didn’t want some random newbie showing up to take his place.  Really glad that it ended with Athos, Porthos, and D’artagnan riding off (of course with dad Treville’s permission) to tell Aramis about the war with Spain and how they’re going to need him.  Most likely, he’ll be back in the game and the perfect team will be united again.

Miscellaneous notes:

-The world of The Musketeers just got ten times bigger with the on coming war with Spain. 

-I’m really hoping Milady will return and part of me thinks she will.  She’s going to England, which leads me to my theory of the season 3 villain.  I think it’s going to be the Duke of Buckingham (the righthand of the king of England).  Pretty sure the book had France and England as allies against the Spanish, if I remember correctly.  Somehow, I think she will be linked to him and it will be a way for her to reunite with Athos.

-Fan girl me says nope Aramis, nope, you’re not leaving your bros and me to go pray. Nope. 

-Really glad Treville is guiding Louis.  Not really happy it’s through war (and neither is Treville), but at least there won’t be another Rochefort running the show.

-Louis is freaking moody and needs to grow up.

-Athos needs to be happy one day and BBC needs to compensate him for his Someone-just-kicked-a-puppy look when he picks up Milady’s glove. 

-The cinematography for this episode was beautiful (when Aramis is walking off on his own with the autumn leaves falling and the other three riding off to go get Aramis).  It was also so well used (the blue of Milady’s dress as well as the emphasis of her left-behind glove in Athos’ hand).

-Louis: “It’s like I’ve woken up from a nightmare.”  Everyone’s like no fucking shit and thinking so have we, so have we…

-Hoping Annamis doesn’t go away.  Their relationship is very domestic, whereas Athos/Milady’s is complex and disfunctional and D’artagnan/Constance is passion/young love.  I like all the ships on the show.

-Constance is awesome and I hope she has no less screen time in season 3 than she had in this season.

-The ladies of the show had all the best lines.  Preach it, ladies…  

There is No End (to a love like ours)

Things you need to know: 

I started watching POI well before Root and Shaw ever appeared. I thought it was a rather dull procedural salvaged only by cool techno Panopticism and good writing plus the Machine’s perspective was something new and well done. But halfway into season one I got bored and checked out.

Then, right after If-Then-Else, I read “underneath all this noise” by winged mammal, because it was under a kink tag and I was trolling. I had never read much or written any fan fiction at that point, but something about Root and Shaw’s dynamic– or at least the part of it that was making an impression on AO3, really resonated with me. Root is this brilliant, misanthropic, wry, queer chameleon and Shaw has this personality disorder that has impacted sooo much of how she experiences the world and forms relationships… and they don’t really make sense with anyone but each other– and together they seem to make so much sense. 

so I read a lot of Shoot fanfic. and then I tried writing some.

The thing is, it was so easy to put myself in Shaw’s shoes, to identify with her, to see how loving Root must have been for her, in her own way. I guess I kind of fell in love with Root, by writing Shaw. I know this probably sounds crazy. But it’s true. I was in love with Root. I am kind of in love with her. Not in a way that makes me imagine she’s a real person, but I love her character. I love who Amy Acker made her. I love what she and Shaw represent in terms of the possible, in terms of what makes love, or what makes a relationship queer, or just, like, how badass women can be. without losing their humanity like you see in some shows.

I know Root dies in the show. I don’t feel like voicing my opinions on that. Basically, what has been a lot of comfort to me lately has been reading Rilke, wearing black nail polish, eating apples, and looping the same emo playlist over and over… and over. Yeah.

The truth is, I have only seen a few episodes of POI. I watched all the Root x Shaw scenes, and a few Shoot-heavy episodes (ie, CIA safehouse). So much of POI is about simulations and undermining reality. So I feel like… one simulation the show-runners gave us involves Root dying, Fine, ok, that’s their choice. But the simulation I’m interested in, and will write, is one wherein they both live and Samaritan and Greer die horrible deaths.

So that’s what I intend to write. You will not see me writing “Shaw after Root dies” fics or “It was an elaborate fake out” fics or anything like that. I’m not pretending it doesn’t happen in canon, I’m just… following a new canon. One where the truth of the characters is not mitigated by their deaths. Because the thing that drew me in and held my attention wasn’t so much a story of misfits and their precocious AI saving lives/ the world, it was these two people who against all odds and in the face of an imploding reality found love (or their version of it) in each other. Like that’s the story that’s important to me. How you can love someone for who THEY are without losing who YOU are… and stuff like that. And that’s the story in whose shadows I want to keep writing.

so yeah, this is where i am, hashtag feelings hashtag emo hashtag no goodbyes

I saw you happy

Ok, obviously, Carina’s comment about the cutout scene from 2x07 gave me a lot of feelings so I wrote this little thing. It’s not canon-complaint when it comes to TO, no Hayley/baby plot. And Ansel’s speech in the beginng is a slightly tweaked version of what was actually said.

„I’ve watched you for centuries…You’ve travelled across the world, seen the greatest monuments, feasted on blood of the world’s most extra-ordinary men. Yet, you’ve never managed to achieve true peace, whether it was Mikael chasing you or your own demons. The only moments of joy in your life were simple pleasures. Climbing Himalayas. Tending to your horses. The happiest you’ve been…painting, laughing, dancing with the blonde in Mystic Falls…”

The words of Ansel, his biological father, were still echoing in Klaus’ mind as he stood at the balcony of his New Orleans house, glass full of whiskey in his hand, certainly not the first he’d had since flashing away from their conversation in the woods.

The happiest you’ve been…

Was he, ever? After centuries of cat and mouse game he and Mikael had been playing, did he even know what true happiness meant? Would he be able to recognize it?

Dancing with the blonde in Mystic Falls…

However Klaus hated to admit it, Ansel had been right. He was happy in Mystic Falls, even with the constant attempts at his and his siblings’ lives by the merry band of misfits or yet another betrayal by his mother. He had broken his curse, Mikael had been killed, his family reunited.. And Caroline…

Was it happiness? Certainly glimpses of it, even he could recognize that.

The fire in her eyes when she defied him.

The ghost of a smile when she tried not to laugh at something he had said.

That light of hers and the darkness simmering underneath, waiting for its time to unleash.

Her soft moans pleading for more of him, ringing in his ears and fingernails drawing blood from his back.

The truth was, no matter how hard he tried, Klaus couldn’t stop thinking about her. Wouldn’t. He promised to be her last love. He promised to never come back. To give her time, so she would live her life like she thought she needed to and then she would seek him out, finally realizing that was not what she wanted. It would happen.

And he would wait.

In the meantime, he had reclaimed New Orleans and put an end to some half-arsed plot contrived by the witches to blackmail him. Welcomed werewolves back to his kingdom. And now he was just…bored. Even with yet another attempt by his mother to end his family’s existence, this ridiculous plan she concocted to put them in human bodies and bring back Klaus’ biological father so he would convince him, it was all just so damn…irritating, having to fight her time and again when he knew very well it could only end in his victory, there was just no other way.

Even Kol, while surely enjoying his magical powers for a while, would eventually start seeking a way to regain his Original body. His little shit of a brother reveled in mayhem and bloodlust too much to ever give it up for eternity.

Klaus looked over the city from his standpoint, streets full of laughter and music, bars filled with enthusiastic tourists, life and energy oozing from every corner. He felt like the odd one out. He was a thousand year old hybrid and instead of enjoying life, like only a true immortal could, he was wallowing in this indescribable misery, he had let himself be trapped here instead of appreciating, like his…like Ansel pointed out, simple pleasures.

Reaching for his cell phone, he contemplated his next move. He knew he shouldn’t do it, he promised, yet the words haunting him and the whiskey he had consumed encouraged him to search for her number.

There was nothing simple about her or them but she was his greatest pleasure.
And he had never promised not to contact her in any way, had he?

Pressing the call button, Klaus put the phone to his ear, wondering whether she would answer or not. Would she be angry? Irritated? Probably.

He decided to risk it for the simple pleasure of hearing her voice once again.

He waited, feeling slight fluttering in his stomach and a rush of excitement speeding through his veins, then there was a sound of someone picking up at the other end and his lips widened in a smile when he heard her familiar sassy response: “Klaus, this better be damn important, I have a Friendsgiving to plan.”

“Hello, Caroline.”

She answered. It was a start.

Ok… I know there’s lot of hate on the new episode and look, I get it. We had high expectations that weren’t fulfilled. Fine. But I think that it wasn’t all bad. Let’s take a look at some little awesome moments.
First of all, can we please appreciate the development of Mycroft’s and Sherlock’s relationship? The whole scene where Sherlock was about to kill him and Mycroft tried to make it easier for him at any cost just broke my heart. Also Sherlock sticking up for Mycroft at the end…just…this gave me some serious feels.
Also I kinda like the whole Redbeared revelation. Seeing Sherlock changing/erasing his memories because the true was just too hard was really interesting and sad to watch.
And then there are the little things like Moriarty’s enterance (God bless him). Also John and Sherlock redecorating 221b back to it’s exact look was just so heartwarming.

So, I’m not saying that the episode was somehow extraordinarily amazing. I’m not. But let’s just focus on something different than the hate ;)