this scene broke me

Hidden affection  (1/?)

Since Eunhae will soon be enlisting and I’m suffering from their skinship withdrawal, I thought I’d just share my thoughts on their relationship. I’m still very upset by Donghae ignoring Hyukjae and their distance so I decided to watch their old videos and started notcing things I didn’t before. This is going to be super long and in parts. Just a compilation of my thoughs, that’s all. 

This first part  I’d like to touch on really made me question Eunhae’s so called just friends claim. I’m a new fan, got into Suju in 2014. In the beginning, I just thought the whole Eunhae thing was a big hooha and a very intelligent plot to attract attention to the group. However, after watching Super Junior’s One Fine Day, my perspective changed. 

The scene that impacted me the most was episode 3 when Donghae broke the news that he had to return to Korea abruptly. Now if you pay attention, you’d realise that he first looked at Hyukjae while saying “I need to go back to Korea tonight.” before hastily averting his eyes. It’s a pity that the camera did not pan to Hyukjae later on but the sad glint in Donghae’s eyes really said it all. You can tell that he really did not want to ruin the atmosphere and if you analyze closely, it’s obvious he was afraid of Hyukjae’s reaction. All throughout the conversation, he kept stealing glances at Hyukjae and laughing nervously.

Leeteuk was sitting next to Donghae but the younger barely spared him a glance. This is odd because usually these kinds of important things should be told to the leader. However, Donghae only looks at Hyukjae and only responds to Leeteuk when the elder asks him a question. I am no psychologist but even idiots can safely assume that the only thing Donghae cared about at that moment was Hyukjae’s feelings. 

Also, Hyukjae was very visibly affected by the news. You can tell he was struggling to accept the news, asking where Donghae was going to and told him to stop bullshitting. Leeteuk on the other hand stayed quiet. Additionally, when Leeteuk and Hyukjae both told Donghae to go, he gave two different reactions. When Leeteuk said it, he laughed and hit his hyung for being mean but when Hyukjae said it, Donghae pursed his lips and stared at the other sadly. Hyukjae and Leeteuk’s tone varied as well. While Leeteuk’s was cold and said in a joking manner, Hyukjae sounded really dejected. 

Another important thing to note is those side glances Leeteuk was giving Hyukjae when Donghae broke the news. If you focus on Leeteuk, he kept looking at Hyukjae as though worried about how the other was handling the situation. Also, when Leeteuk was asking Donghae things, he was glancing at Hyukjae as though he was simply asking on behalf of the other. 

Somewhere in the middle of the conversation, Hyukjae actually brings up his opinion by saying “It’s so bad that we have been so happy during the trip and now you suddenly say that you have to leave.” It’s almost as if implying that the trip won’t be as fun without Donghae there anymore.

Leeteuk gets up suddenly and tells the both of them to sort out the problem themselves. Most would argue it’s simply about the money issue but honestly I think it’s not. I think he’s trying to tell them to sort out their emotions. If Leeteuk really did care about the money he would have taken it straight away. He suddenly remembered only after walking away and shaking his head. 

Lastly, when Donghae was forced to choose who should keep the money, he quickly chose Hyukjae, giving some lame reason that he looked like an admin. However, it was more of him trying to appease the other…

What do you guys think?

10
2

He leaned close and I saw a different kind of fever burning in his eyes. “I’m not worried about her. An hour ago, she didn’t exist. Understand? She was nothing, literally nothing. I had you, and I had your little brother, and I had Poundcake and Dumbo. She was theirs. She belongs to them. I didn’t take her. I didn’t trick her into getting on a bus and tell her she was perfectly safe and then stuff a bomb down her throat. This isn’t my fault. It isn’t my responsibility. My job is to keep my ass and your ass alive for as long as possible, and if that means somebody else who is nothing to me dies, then I guess that’s what it means.”

“You’re wrong,” I said. He twirled his hand: Whatever. “She did belong to us. They all belong to us.”
He laughed from a spot deep in his gut. “I’m kind of busted up right now. Broke. I’m broke, Sullivan.” He looked at me.
“You didn’t … ?”
“I couldn’t.”