I have a son. His name is Mieczyslaw Stilinski, but we call him Stiles. I remember. When Stiles was a little kid, he couldn’t say his first name. Not sure why, pretty much rolls off the tongue, but the closest he could get was Mischief. His mother called him that until…I remember when Stiles first got his Jeep, it belonged to his mother and she wanted him to have it. The first time he took a spin behind the wheel he went straight into a ditch. I gave him his first roll of duct tape that day. He was always getting into trouble, but he always had a good heart. Always. We’re here tonight because my goofball son decided to drag Scott, his greatest friend in the world, into the woods to see a dead body.
➽ Genre/words: Smut, Poly!AU, Slow Burn, Angst / 12,819 words
➽ Summary: One of them is your longtime crush, while the other is the man which you had shared your secrets with on many heated nights filled with lust and forbidden desire. You had sworn that it would end, and that secret crush would remain a secret.
For the bittersamgirlclub Top 5 Challenge: Top 5 Most Heartbreaking Sam Moments. Well, thanks to the BSGC for this cruel and unusual prompt. If you’re interested in my thoughts on these five horrible moments then by all means, read on…
You deserve someone better. Because you, Detective, are selfless to a nauseating degree. You always put your daughter first, even though the ungrateful urchin does nothing to contribute to the rent. So, you deserve someone worthy of that grace. Someone who knows every crime scene breaks your heart, even though you’ll never admit it. Someone who actually appreciates your impossibly boring middle name. Jane. More importantly, Detective, you deserve someone as good as you. Because, well, you’re special and I’m….I’m not worth it.
You know what I’ve just noticed? You know what breaks my heart?
In this scene, when Lexa tells Clarke “Ai gonplei ste odon”, and Clarke responds by “No, I won’t accept that”, you can see Lexa slightly smiling.
You’re driven to fix everything for everyone.
Even in her last moments, Lexa lovingly smiles, and stares at Clarke. She’s staring at the girl who always makes the best decision for her people, the girl who never backs away from a possibility to make peace with her ennemies, the girl who always wants to save as many people as she can.
With her last bits of strength, she smiles and stares lovingly at Clarke.
What she finds is partly comfort, because she knows the girl she loves will always be herself. She will always seek the best in life. Even in the worst situations.
But as we can see, Lexa has tears in her eyes. She unsuccessfully closes her eyes to hold back her tears, but knows some are still escaping.
Now, do you believe Lexa, Commander of thirteen clans, a long time trained fighter and leader, who is used to suffering in silence, both physically and mentally, who willingly grabbed a sword with her bare hands, freshly and quickly slicing them in the way, would cry?
Yes, taking a bullet freaking hurts, but Lexa wouldn’t cry at the physical pain.
Lexa is crying, because as much as she finds comfort in seeing that Clarke is, and will always be, herself in any kind of situation, she knows who she’s leaving behind. She knows that she’s once again abandoning Clarke, and that, once again, Clarke will be hurt because of her. Only this time, Lexa wasn’t the one to make that choice.
This time, they’re not in the cold, dark woods near Mount Weather. They’re in Polis, the place that made Clarke fall for Lexa once again, a place reflecting hope, and life. They’re in Lexa’s home, a place where they exchanged rough, and yet sweet conversations, where Clarke found peace while drawing Lexa in her sleep, where she found Lexa’s fears and hopes for the future; but mostly, where they found each other, going desperately and hungrily after each other’s lips barely a few hours ago.
Lexa was never afraid of dying, but this time, just to lay by Clarke’s side in their bed, she wishes she could just breathe a little longer.
And this time, as Clarke kisses her goodbye, Lexa falls asleep for good, only wishing she could hold those lips against her own forever.
Alastair: You know, it was supposed to be your father. He was supposed to bring it on. But, in the end, it was you. Dean: Bring what on? Alastair: Oh, every night, the same offer, remember? Same as your father. And finally you said, “Sign me up.” Oh, the first time you picked up my razor, the first time you sliced into that weeping bitch… That was the first seal. Dean: You’re lying. Alastair: And it is written that the first seal shall be broken when a righteous man sheds blood in hell. As he breaks, so shall it break.
Dean + heartbreaking scenes - 4x16 “On The Head Of A Pin”
of all, upfront: I believe Mary and John sincerely loved each other and were
genuinely trying to make their relationship work. But clearly, at least on some
levels, it was not working, and I want to play armchair marriage counsellor for
a bit and look at why.
obviously, the first major misstep in their marriage is Mary lying about her
history and identity, and then shooting John’s best friend to protect her
secret. Why didn’t she just tell him who
she was from the beginning?
MARY: John can’t ever know that I lied to him. It would break him and I would lose
was terrified that he wouldn’t love her if he found out about her past. What might have given her that idea? What messages was John sending her that his
love was conditional on her being ordinary, sweet, and safe?
some ways, John’s behavior after he finds out the truth proves her fears unjustified. Though he struggles for a while, he doesn’t
leave her, and he makes a renewed commitment to their relationship. So far so good. But look at what he says to her:
JOHN: The problems of
your past are your business. The problems of your future … are my
privilege. It’s all I have to say. It’s all I need to know.
It’s a very
romantic moment, and clearly well-intentioned.
And Mary is grateful for his forgiveness, and agrees to move forward
with him. But there’s a mixed message
hidden in John’s statement. In throwing
away the thumb drive unread, he’s confirming her suspicion that he can’t love
the person she was in the past, only the persona she has created.
MARY: You don’t
even know my name.
JOHN: Is ‘Mary Watson’ good enough for you?
Here again – it’s
a lovely and romantic sentiment, but even as Mary was thrilled to accept his
forgiveness, she must have gotten the message that Mary Watson is acceptable,
but her history as Rosamund is not. That
could only have heightened her sense of insecurity in the relationship. It would have been a much more generous
gesture on John’s part if he had simply asked her name at that moment, instead
of shoving it into the closet of things
we must never speak of.
In TST, John
acts surprised that Mary is still keeping secrets from him, but what choice did
he give her? He basically told her
there’s this whole part of her life that he doesn’t want to hear about.
And when he does catch her in her lies, John
tries to be understanding, but he makes another small mistake with big repercussions:
JOHN: Mary, I may
not be a very good man, but I think I’m a bit better than you give me
credit for, most of the time.
I think what he
means is that he’s not as judgmental as she thinks – she doesn’t need to hide
from him, because he would support her even in difficult times. But by phrasing it in terms of him being
“good”, he also unintentionally reminds her that she is not good. This is a difference between them in her
mind: he is good and she is bad.
always a good man, John. I’ve never doubted that. You never judge; you never
complain. I don’t deserve you.
She seems here to
be accepting his claim that he won’t judge her.
But in saying that she doesn’t deserve him, she’s highlighting the fact
that he makes her feel lesser, which makes her insecure and leads her to lie
and misrepresent herself in order to seem “good” enough for him.
Once they get
back home, she states this problem again, even more clearly:
MARY: You don’t
make it easy, do you?
JOHN: What d’you mean?
MARY: Well, being … being so perfect.
she is trying to tell him how hurt she is by the roles they’ve unwittingly assigned
each other: Perfect John and Bad Mary. And
at last, it seems like John gets it.
Before they’re interrupted, he starts to tell her about his affair in an
effort to reassure Mary that neither of them is perfect. It feels like the best chance they have for a
fresh start based on a better understanding of and respect for each other as
real, flawed people.
Then, sadly, Mary
dies before they are able to hash this out.
And one of the most tragic elements of her death scene is this:
MARY: Being Mary
Watson was the only life worth living.
Mary wants to
leave their relationship on the best note possible, but it breaks my heart that
even with her dying breaths, she feels the best way to do this is to deny the
“bad Rosamund” that John always seemed to be rejecting, and present
herself as the “good Mary” that she believed John wanted her to be.
And the thing is,
I don’t think John ever intended her to feel that way. He wears a conventional veneer, but Sherlock
is right – deep down, John wanted to be with someone as dangerous and morally
grey as he is. He initially thought he
wanted perfect Mary, but he really fell in love with the more complicated
And yet, even though he loved her, forgave her, and respected her for the most part, a part of him was still angry and resentful
over Mary’s betrayal, and I think he unconsciously picked on her for it in these
understandable, if not ideal. But what
*really* saddens me is what John says at the end of TLD:
JOHN: I’m not the
man you thought I was; I’m not that guy. I never could be. But that’s the
point. That’s the whole point. Who you thought I was… is the man who I want
no! He’s so close here, but then he gets
it so wrong. Mary doesn’t want you to be
that perfect man she thought you were!
Mary thought that dude was kind of a jerk! And she was right, honestly. What Mary was trying to tell you is, that man is sanctimonious, patronizing, and
judgmental. DON’T BE THAT GUY. No one likes that guy, least of all
Mary didn’t want
a “good man”, she wanted a partner in crime.
Someone who understood her and respected her – ALL of her, not just the
pretty and well-behaved bits. At your
best, John, you were that partner, but at
your worst, you were a superior, scolding, hypocritical prig.
I’m not sure, but
I think (I hope?) this is what Sherlock’s getting at during this exchange:
not a pleasant thought, John, but I have this terrible feeling, from time to
time, that we might all just be human.
JOHN: Even you?
SHERLOCK: No. Even you.
John needs to learn is not to be a better man for the perfect, imaginary version of Mary in
his head, but to be kinder and more accepting and empathetic to the real, flawed
person Mary actually was. And to honor her
memory, perhaps be kinder and more accepting and empathetic to people like
her – including himself.
Okay so I am making the horrible decision to romance Solas this play through, I always romance my Cullen. Loved him since Origins. 🌹🌹 I never saw the appeal in Solas, I also knew he would break my inquisitors heart and I already went through that in origins with Alistair but holy Andrastes tits did this scene catch me off guard. The way he shakes his head and comes after you like “I’m not finished with you yet.” … am I in Solavellan hell yet???
Do the Mukami brothers ever find out that Karlheinz wrecked their lives?
Ruki takes a while to accept it and he contemplates telling his brothers.
What originally stemmed this was Ruki having a flashback about his father turning into this pissy abusive shithead because this new political dude (Trismegisto トリスメジスト how do romanize) knocked him off his position. In one of his talks with Christa (who I thought died in DF but ok XD), Ruki asks Christa to tell him stuff about Karl. She mentions he was like devil, the devil Trismegisto. And Ruki’s like WHOA WAIT. That guy was mentioned in my dream by my dad???
So Ruki goes on this investigation journey. Travels to his homeland and ends up reading documents from a library in Romania about the town revolutions and Trismegisto.
It was mentioned somewhere that this dictator banned abortion, so the rates of homeless/abandoned children skyrocketed. I see the correlation now… There’s more information but it’s unrelated to this ask.
Anyway, Ruki denies it for quite some time before going on that Europe journey. The library scene was pretty damn specific and matching to Karl. He goes back and is just really shocked/depressed. (Kino and Yuri followed Ruki to the library to spy on him).
His brothers welcome his return and give him a photo album. Yui was included in the album because she’s part of the family d’aww. Karl didn’t take pictures often, but there’s one photo of Karl with the 4 of them and they make comments like “It’s like a father with his sons!”
щ(ಥДಥщ) ADD SALT TO THE WOUND WHY DON’T YOU. shh they didn’t know. Ruki just loses it then and runs out in tears almost. His brothers think he’s grieving over Karl’s death and was emotionally moved by the album.E eeek. Ruki ends up back at the Mukami house and goes into this spurt where he gives a shit less about Eden. He ignores the incoming letters from familiars.
Eventually, Kino ends up telling Yui and she gets upset that Ruki had to bear it all on himself. He always has to bear everything on his own. Not only that, Ruki refused to tell his brothers for quite a while because he didn’t want to hurt them or break their family up.
But in the end, he does tell his brothers. The brothers are hurt of course.
But they say without Karl’s bullshit they wouldn’t have the best family in the world. I cried at this part because it was so touching. CUE THE CG WHERE THEY ALL ARE CRYING OUT OF FAMILY LOVE.