this relationship is so important

Because I feel like talking about this again– 

Emori as disabled rep is amazing and beautiful and so needed, and the fact that characters (mostly Murphy but Clarke twiceish) find her valuable and worth protecting is immensely important. But the fact that the show shies away from showing the institutionalized ableism within grounder culture weakens the point they’re trying to make. 

Emori’s entire character depends on the extremely grim idea that an entire culture considers human life worthless when it’s connected to physical flaw. This deeply-ingrained mindset is the reason behind her chaotic neutral out-for-herself perspective, for her aggressively ruthless streak, for her incredibly clever criminality. This mindset is also one of the reasons her relationship with Murphy is so important. While her rejection from society echoes his a little bit, it also echoes a greater rejection of disabled people that still exists in varying levels in every single contemporary society. Showing her in a respectful, wholesome (ish) relationship with someone who thinks her disability is actually kinda cool is such a spit in the face to everyone who devalues people because of disabilities and congenital conditions. And of course her relationship with Murphy isn’t the only significant thing about her character (as much as some fans think of her that way :’( ), but my point is that her nuanced, uncomfortable background is important both to her character and to her relationship with another character. 

But. For some reason, with the exception of Emori being occasionally treated as an outsider, the show likes to talk about the mistreatment Emori has experienced without actually showing it. This probably comes down to a combination of two factors: 

-Not wanting the unpleasantness of blatant ableism to be expressed on the show (ex. a clan leader condemning a baby to death for being a frikdreina) 

-Not wanting the unpleasantness of an established and well-liked character expressing blatant ableism on the show (e. Lexa or Roan condemning a baby to death for being a frikdreina)

There are a lot of important grounder characters on the 100 (mostly dead now but eh) that the audience values and identifies with. Anya, Indra, Gaia, Lexa, Roan. People even liked Ontari for some reason that I cannot fathom. Emori’s entire situation depends on a completely immoral system that would only logically be enforced by cultural leadership (unless it’s just an intense, vicious social taboo in which case every grounder character would enforce this attitude, not just leadership). And yeah, I don’t want to see people being dicks to my girl! Ableism is uncomfortable and shitty and even just the internalized ableism I experience with a passing congenital defect sucks all kinds of suck! 

But without it, the audience (which contains a high-percentage of able-bodied peeps) sees Emori talk about her difficult experiences and make harsh, cold-hearted decisions based on them without having any realistic point of reference concerning what this character (and disabled people in general) actually have to deal with in terms of social taboo and deeply-ingrained aversion. (Yeah, we heard Roan call her ‘the frikdreina’ one time– and he was shut down by Raven, bless– but unfortunately that probably doesn’t even brush the surface of what Emori has experienced?)

Basically, when you throw a character into a situation where they have to act really ruthlessly and tell instead of show their reasons for being the way they are, it can really make the audience hate the character? And it kind of does a disservice to disabled rep too?

And it basically comes down to the fact that the show’s writers don’t want the audience to dislike already-established characters for showing ableism it would make sense within the narrative for them to show.

Could it– dare I say– reflect a hesitance to acknowledge that average, everyday people have established and difficult to unlearn ableist tendencies? 

It’s a weak storytelling choice and does a disservice to a character who provides the show with crazy important and rare representation. Is all I’m saying. 

There is a distinct difference between caring for someone and carrying someone.

Know the difference.

You are allowed to let people down when they are too heavy.

You are not a bad person because you have limits.

10

As you get older, you might start to find that things get harder. The world isn’t always a kind place. Especially for men like us. Take a look at the people on this mat. We are your community. When things get hard, we are gonna be the ones who hold each other up. As Randall’s father, you are his foundation. Come lie down, as if you’re gonna do a push-up. Randall, climb on your father’s back. 

Reblog if you are willing to write in-depth, significant, and valued FRIENDSHIPS.

There is so much focus on romantic/sexual relationships lately. Friendships are incredibly important for characters too, and deserve as much love and attention as romantic/sexual relationships.

4

top 15 rwby duos - as voted by my followers

#4. Ruby Rose + Yang Xiao Long

just a friendly reminder: FRIENDSHIPS ARE RELATIONSHIPS, TOO.
  • friends can be emotionally abusive.
  • friends can be physically abusive.
  • friends can disappoint you.
  • friends can lie to you.
  • friends can make you wonder if they found someone better than you.
  • friends can be manipulative.
  • friends can give you severe trust issues.
  • friends can dump you.
  • friends can be jealous that other people want to be friends with you.
  • friends can argue over the same issue repeatedly because someone’s needs aren’t being met.
  • friends can hurt you.
  • friends can judge you.
  • friends can ghost you.
  • friends can damage your self esteem.

there does not have to be a romantic undertone. we put so much weight on romantic relationships that we forget how important friendships are. romance does not automatically give your relationship more validity. treat them the same.

10

So, are you ready, you think? To start dating? No, definitely not. My grief group said that I wouldn’t be ready until I can get through the whole story of Michael’s death without tearing up.

3

anonymous asked:

ok everyone is constantly on about neil and allison and neil and matt but WHERE are my discussions on neil and kevin?? don't even TRY and tell me they're not lowkey besties

OH MY FUCKING GOD MY GUY,,, DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED i wrote a whole fucking essay on neil and kevin trying to get into the extra josten squad i’m never ok. anyway even tho i said don’t get me started,,,, im getting started

OK. LIKE. their relationship is so fucky to start with. neil looks at kevin and sees everything he could have had. he’s just… jealous in a lot of ways. but it takes him like 0 time to realise that actually, kevin’s life has been pretty shit, and he’s IMMEDIATELY protective of kevin. like,, he’s so pissed off at kevin for pressuring him into being on kathy’s show but he totally gets where he’s coming from and as soon as riko starts being an asshat he’s just like “you know what? my life isn’t worth anything. i’ll give it up for kevin. no question.” no doubt, he’s a ride or die motherfucker and he gives it all up for kevin

LOOK AT THIS!!! THIS ISN’T BC OF A DEAL OR SOMETHING!! NEIL’S JUST LIKE. NO. WE’RE ON THE SAME TEAM. #FUCKRIKO2K17 

he doesn’t even last two pages and then he’s just. so fucking pissed he literally can’t even let riko talk anymore. what kind of a gem

oh my god and this is just like… the start. this is the first book. this is pretty much the first time neil shows any type of care for anything except surviving this year. he was gonna run away before he even saw riko, and here riko’s not looking at him and he paints a target on his back for kevin??? i love him

alright and that’s not all. it’s not just neil adopting kevin. kevin straight up adopts that boy too. he loves neil for his exy, and he’s certain he’ll make court, but do you see him inviting anyone else to practice at night? nope. AND AS SOON AS KEVIN FINDS OUT THAT NEIL IS NATHANIEL HE DOES THE SAME THING he doesn’t defy riko or smth not yet but

HE STRAIGHT UP ADOPTS NEIL RIGHT BACK!!! and i dont even have to show u guys this quote its the fucking apex of their relationship-

OH MY GODDDDD he believes so much in neil!!!! he’s so fucking upset that neil can’t have a future. he wants that for our boy as much as we do; like nothing else that has happened has hurt kevin that much. 

and they see themselves in each other. they SEE that they’re basically just alternate timelines of each other - that one small difference could have made either one of them into the other

a BUNCH of their compassion for each other comes because they know what they’re looking at. they’re looking at themselves, if there had been one small change in their lives. and both of them know that it wouldn’t have been good either way - both routes were torture in different ways. kevin has a future, but the moriyamas will always be hanging over them; neil was free for a while, but it won’t last. they KNOW that for each other and that fuels them. there’s a bond there that just can’t be ignored ok??

ALSO. LETS NOT FORGET. KEVIN OFFERED TO NOT DRINK FOR NEIL! JUST IF NEIL WANTED TO DRINK!!

even nicky comments like “kevin has CLEARLY just done something nice for neil but kevin’s a BRAT” like. kevin cares so fucking much,, he’s like “you know what? if i were in neil’s shoes i would already be fucking wasted. idk if it will help but if he wants to he should be able to. i got u, bro.” what a BOY. i love him they’re the best friends

and okay if anyone needs more- i swear i’m wrapping this post up - when neil thinks about his future, he sees andrew. obviously. BUT HE ALSO SEES KEVIN THERE.

they’re straight up best friends and brothers and i fucking love them

and as a last point, this is extra content instead of book-canon, but

NEIL IS AS IMPORTANT TO KEVIN AS THEA IS. MIKE DROPPED. MY BOYS.

Sincerely, Me

Evan: In an email I received from you two weeks ago I noticed a comma in the middle of a phrase

Evan: It changed the meaning. Did you intend this? One key and you’ve consumed my waking days.

Evan: It says “Dear Evan Hansen,”

Evan: With a comma after dear

Evan: You’ve written “Dear, Evan Hansen”

anyways i hope rhodey and tony grow up to be old together as cranky and silly men who go shopping together at like second hand stores and always get into little fights about the things they are purchasing because we don’t need another shower seat tony idc if it has a massage setting and i dunno they just sit out on the porch of their cute little yellow painted bungalow and still argue if iron man or war machine is cooler

10

#two very different relationships for shaw yet both so important #they both loved her so much but in different ways (one platonically and the other romantically) and its big because for someone that always thought something was wrong with her and no one would ever take the time to GET her #she ended up gaining two people that legit would’ve died for her and vice versa #they BOTH understood her and never judged her and loved her exactly the way she was #not to mention root and reese’s love for her even helped THEM bond in a way that made them start to care about each other #i just have a lot of feelings about these three tbh

BOOK REC (Sci-Fi with PoC and wlw)

Why you should read The Long Way To A Small Angry Planet by Becky Chambers:

  • IT HAS A HUGE EMPHASIS ON FOUND FAMILY and also on moving forward and how you sometimes need different people at different stages of your life
  • The alien cultures, man, they are like nothing I’ve ever seen before on this scale. It’s not just surface stuff, it’s down to the belief systems and social interactions and how they view things like motherhood and violence and even board games! Also, FEMALE ALIENS WITHOUT BREASTS WHO ARE CONSIDERED VERY ATTRACTIVE TO HUMANS CAN I GET A HELL YEAH
  • Gender and sexuality are definitely way more fluid, one of the crew members is a species that changes gender across their lifetime (plus there is a crew member that goes by they pronouns, though not exactly in a nb way, it’s hard to explain)
  • Imagine Firefly, except in a universe full of aliens like Guardians of the Galaxy, and the crew aren’t criminals (for the most part) and are just generally a bit nicer. And by nicer I mean, as someone else more eloquent than me said about this book “they’re not all good people, but most of them are trying to be”. They care about each other despite all the cultural differences that sometimes have them screaming
  • most of the humans on the crew are not white
  • TWO FEMALE MEMBERS OF THE CREW BECOME A COUPLE I’m not gonna say which because it totally took me by surprise and that was an incredible thing cos I already adored this book and then it gave me the one thing it was missing that I hadn’t dared hope for 
  • polyamory is discussed frequently and is a base part of one of the alien cultures and it’s very normalised and respected
  • seriously everyone does their hardest to be respectful of each other’s culture and all the differences and even though sometimes they fail or really struggle they really TRY and that’s what makes it so great
  • the book is genuinely hilarious (“What do your crazy speciests do?” “Live on gated farms and have private orgies.” “How is that any different than what the rest of you do?” “We don’t have gates and anybody can come to our orgies.”)
  • there’s plot but it’s very character driven in a way that works really well
  • Kizzy - my favourite character who is just a joy (imagine Kaylee Frye if she was Chinese, hyped up on extreme amounts of caffeine, and totally eccentric)
  • REALLY AMAZING PLATONIC MALE/FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
  • like seriously every damn relationship in this book is so incredible and important and well done
  • I’ve never done a book rec on here before and the fact that I feel the need to do this should in itself say something about how amazing it is

In summary: 

  • SPACE GIRLFRIENDS NEED I SAY MORE
  • amazing and compelling alien cultures
  • a crew/found family that are so beautiful in their differences and how they do their best to respect and accommodate them
  • it’s really fucking funny
  • “Ninety percent of all problems are caused by people being assholes.” “What causes the other ten percent?” “Natural disasters.”

Ok but this scene is actually SO FUNNY because Viktor just casually proposes in front of everyone??

because as symbolic as the rings are Yuuri doesn’t ask Viktor to marry him at the stairs outside the church?? It’s obvious that he knows what he’s doing because he specifically buys a pair of WEDDING RINGS, as shown on the receipt, but he never voices his wish to marry Viktor and instead talks about the Final and how he’s grateful for Viktor’s help, all while being incredibly flustered

And Viktor is obviously SHOOK at the start of this scene, because he knows it isn’t just all about performing well in the Final 

and then he softens out and reassures Yuuri that the feeling is mutual in a language they both speak well (aka skating) and go on their merry way

WHICH MAKES THIS SO MUCH MORE HILARIOUS

I can’t really figure out Yuuri’s reaction here to be honest because he’s visibly shocked by what Viktor is saying bUT LIKE HUNNY YOU JUST BOUGHT A PAIR OF WEDDING RINGS WHAT DID YOU EXPECT

even so 

IT’S JUST SO FUNNY HOW THEY TREATED THIS ??? because while Yuuri is taken aback by what Viktor is saying he doesn’t DENY IT and then proceeds to wear the ring for the rest of the show without fault

THEY’RE SO CUTE AND PRECIOUS AND OBVIOUSLY LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH AND I LOVE HOW THEY MADE YUURI GET THE RINGS !! because it gave Viktor a chance to casually reveal his desire to create a life with Yuuri (and we’ve seen before how Viktor likes to drop casual hints about what he wants from Yuuri) and it also plays into Yuuri’s quote “When I open up, he meets me where I am” while also showing that Yuuri is as equally invested in their relationship as Viktor AND IT’S SO IMPORTANT 

And although Viktor’s inner monologue talks about Yuuri’s actions being unexpected, Yuuri had actually most likely been planning this for hours at least, because we can clearly see that he’s looking for something earlier in the day, and Viktor’s line “It’s unusal for Yuuri to suggest sightseeing”, supports this, because even though Yuuri isn’t one to suggest these things he does now and IT’S JUST CLEAR WHY BECAUSE HE WANTED TO GET RINGS FOR THEM AND IT’S SO PRECIOUS OF HIM

JUST

Yuuri opening up about what he feels for Viktor but being unable to say those specific words, and Viktor fills the gap for him. I love them so much they’re a perfect pair

How to Recover from a Broken Heart

There are few things worse than a broken heart. You desperately want to be free of the pain, and to pick up the pieces and get on with life again. The following suggestions can help you with this.

1) Remember that healing is a long slow process - Breaking up is painful and unleashes strong emotions - anger, hurt, confusion, sadness, loss and emptiness … You may also find you suffer from insomnia, have dreams about your ex and lose all interest in life. If you can hang on in this tough time, and accept the pain it brings, you will find that it will speed up your recovery. So allow yourself to grieve – and don’t expect too much at first – but know that these emotions will pass in time.

2) Accept some relationships are not meant to last – It’s a fact of life that we all want different things, and we’re not always suited to the person we’re dating. It’s not that you’re a failure or an awful person. It’s actually quite normal – even though it feels so sad.

3) Reflect on what you’ve learnt from the relationship – We learn about ourselves and our personality … what we like and don’t like … what we won’t tolerate … and what really matters in relationships. Take the time to process this important information so you grow through your experience … and become more self-aware.

4. Rediscover who you are as a person in your own right – Too often we lose sight of who we are deep down insight - when we’re part of a couple, or a close relationship. But once we’re on our own again, we rediscover who we are – and remember all the dreams and the wishes we once had.

5. Use this time to invest in your interests and passions - Once you start to remember all the things you once enjoyed, and what makes you happy and makes you feel fulfilled, you can start to formulate and work towards new goals. For though it’s good to be in relationships, there’s so much more to us, and so much more to life, than being with one person, and doing things with them

After walking through these steps you will find that you are stronger, and you’ll start to rediscover your true value and worth … and you’ll know that you’ll survive this … and you’ll enjoy life again.