this really is terrible colouring but

haiiiiiii this be me dream daddy oc. his name is bob saget and he cut and died his hair to be leik the cool kidsz. he really wants 2 have a fun time, but only if ur a guyyyy. he raeds yaoi mangas and reads smutty fanfiction of sanic and shadow. he just wants to find a hawet guy to share his coke addiction with him. he’s 8’‘3 and lieks long walks through the landfills. send him a tweet if you want to get jiggy with it.

The level of daddy is immense. He gonna blow up the Twitter.

〜Mod Neko

qt pie for @reidaro

thanks again for the mount! ☁️☁️☁️

dave ubercharge’s really good meme baking tutorial

i serve the people.

i usually use paint, photoshop cs6, and paint tool sai, but you can do this on just ps. the reason i also use sai is to speed up the ‘saving as jpeg multiple times’ thing, and i think sai’s low quality jpeg is lower quality than ps’. without further ado:

1. pick the text. this is the most important step, of course. for this tutorial, i will be using the text ‘my nipples are fucking frozen’. i said this in a competitive match once when i was very cold. we still won.

2. pick a relevant image to use as the background. you can also use a solid colour or whatever else you want, but i think images are funnier. i’m gonna use a picture of a blizzard from google images (filtered ‘labelled for reuse with modification’).

3. apply the text to the image. i do this on paint because i’m fucking lazy and the kinda but kinda not anti-aliased text edges are funny to me. you can do this on photoshop. i use large size (large being relative to the image) bolded and italicized arial.

i gave myself a bit more canvas space for the next step.

4. apply the same text on top in a darker/lighter colour. i like putting it to the upper left of the original text. with ps, you can just fiddle around with the 2nd text layer to get it in the right position. with paint, you might have to try wiggling the text box a few times. it’s a waste of time compared to ps but for me, it’s just a part of the process making the end product funnier.

make sure your text is visible on top of the image! if it’s not, no biggie, use the fill bucket or just try different colours.

5. apply an overlay on top if desired. red is funny, but it doesn’t really work with what i want on this specific image, so i’m gonna use blue. it doesn’t really matter because the following steps are gonna ruin the colours anyway.

i used a light blue with linear burn. i saved it as a .jpeg after this.

remember to have lowest quality. even on this small version, you can see the start to the terrible things this image is going to endure!

6. here’s the fun part! you can mix these steps up, but i’ll just show how i more or less usually do it. go to filter > sharpen > smart sharpen. you can fiddle with the sliders and whatever.

save the image as a .jpeg again.

7. go to filter > blur > motion blur OR filter > blur > radial blur. motion blur is the diagonal (or up/down, or left/right) blur, radial blur has both the spinny and zoom blur. you can use more than one, if you want. since my abomination is already kind of annoying to read, i’m going to be light-handed with a spinny radial blur.

wow! that already looks pretty fucking bad, but we can go further:

8. go back to filter > sharpen > smart sharpen and apply that again. you can also do more overlays and blurring.

i decided to do all of that. here it is with another blue overlay, motion blur, and radial (zoom) blur.

i changed the sharpen settings before sharpening it again. do whatever you think looks good (or bad).

here’s the final image:

you can keep going, but i have stuff to do. some better baked images of mine:

i have a thing for 1. cropping the text weirdly and 2. red

other stuff you can do includes:

  1. doing both (or 3+) text layers on paint with a white bg, then stretching it weirdly before pasting it on the image bg (transparent selection, 2ndary colour should be white)
  2. using the fucking impact font for bad memes
  3. using lens flare (funnier if you have eyes in the image)
  4. stretching/distorting the image at any point
  5. using other filters, ps has plenty. experiment!
  6.  repenting

the beauty of this is that if you make mistakes, you can just re-bake the image, apply more effects, and it probably makes the image funnier.

Colour Soulmate AU - Jughead X OC

[A/N: Finally I’m back! However not with the stuff you wanted or asked for, I am a terrible writer. This is a little rough around the edges but hey-ho! 

Okay so this is going to be an anthology series of different pairings (any and all pairings) finding their soulmates and I’m going to be using a multitude of different soulmate tropes! Starting with the soulmate AU, I apologise that this is really wordy but I had to get in all the different elements of what a soulmate consists of. I also plan on probably keeping each post as a one-shot which is maybe a little mean but I kind of like how I ended this one, let me know what you think! Also American readers please excuse my English-isms.]

Word Count: 1895

The sleepy town of Riverdale was illuminated with lights and colours, Pop’s Chok-Lit-Shoppe flashed a warm neon red, reflecting against the hoods of the cars that sat parked outside in the cold dark chill. The words Twilight Drive-In sat prettily against a dark blue backdrop held above the rusting letters ‘Closing Soon’, the abandoned sign creaked under the pressure of a strong wind that struck it heavily. The large Town Hall stood proudly painted in the freshest of lemon colours, the shadows of the night illuminated the deceitful corruption that lay hidden behind the closed doors.

Keep reading

keep it.

➵ characters: g-dragon x reader
➵ genre: smut
➵ wc: 5140
➵ summary: jiyong shows up with a new hair colour and you’re happy. really happy.
➵ author’s note:this came purely from the weakness i felt when jiyong coloured his hair black after the fxxk it promotions. something about it every time he does has me putty. and this is my first post after at least four months. wow i’m really terrible, if you guys hate me now i don’t blame. but i hope this makes you hate me less. enjoy!

JiJi: You’re not at the studio anymore. Where did you go?

You: YG called me in to his office.

JiJi: Is everything okay?

You: Yeah, everything’s fine. Give me a couple more minutes.

From behind you, the door to Hyunsuk’s office creaked open as he entered the room once more after having taken an important call. You scurried to return your phone in your bag just beneath you, watching the man go around his large desk and settle in his seat.

“Sorry about that. So,” he sighed. “Will you be able to just keep Chaerin company on her US tour? You know, just so that she has someone there with her that she trusts.”

“Of course. She’ll be safe with me,” you smiled enthusiastically.

“Great. We’re still deciding on dates, but it’ll be within the next two or three months. We’ll keep you posted.”

You smiled again, nodding respectfully. As Hyunsuk rose from his seat, you quickly followed suit. You said your farewell, ensuring him once more that Chaerin is in secure hands.

“Oh, by any chance, are you going to see Jiyong?”

“Um,” you chuckled nervously, “yes, I believe so.”

“Do tell him he still owes me a dinner for losing that bet… he’ll know what I’m talking about.”

“Yes… sir, I will.”

With one last polite goodbye, you left Hyunsuk be in his office and back to his work. The journey from the grand office back to the floor where most studios were did not take that long, taking just a minute or two to arrive at your destination. You had expected Jiyong to already be there, either waiting for you or deep into his work, but the studio was just as you had left it, empty.

You plonked your bag on the spacious leather in the corner of the room, sitting beside it, allowing one leg to cross over the other. A long sigh was exuded before you let your head fall back onto the sofa’s top, closing your eyes, relishing in the silence. However, it was short lived, as you heard the glass door you had closed reopen, hearing a familiar voice.

“Hmph, that didn’t take long,” Jiyong commented.

“It wasn’t supposed to,” your eyes remained closed. “And YG said something about a bet?” Your head was lifted so you sat up straight, and even though your eyes were now open they still faced downwards to your lap. “That you still owe him dinner?”

“Ha, he’s still going on about that?” he chuckled. “Soon.”

“He called me to ask to go on tour with Chaerin,” your head snapped up. “You know, just to— “

Your facial expression which was once aloof and calm was now very much alert, with surprise becoming the new emotion, and it rendered you speechless.

Jiyong waited for you to complete your sentence, but when you didn’t he scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. “Just to what?”

“You coloured your hair?”

Keep reading


30 days of volleyball: day 28 - favourite video: osmany, matteo and filippo singining el perdón, while massimo is watching everything and judging them


This is your chance at happiness. You think you shouldn’t want it because you’ve never had it, and it scares you. But you deserve your fairy tale. We make our own fairy tales. Only when we have to. You don’t. How do you feel about tonight? Awful. Just Terrible. In fact, I’ve never felt like this before. Guilt. I feel it, too. Maybe I’m actually growing up after all. I didn’t wanna let you go just yet.

Chuck and Blair scenes [21/]

The Girl With The Books [Remus Lupin]

Title: The Girl With The Books
Fandom: Harry Potter
Characters: Remus Lupin x reader, James Potter, Sirius Black, mentions of Lily Evans
Warnings: None
Word Count: 1,407
Requested: By my good friend Clary (yes, she has the same first name as Clarissa Fairchild and I envy her every day)
Short Description: MARAUDER ERA! You have caught Remus’s eye, and the Marauders tease him when they notice Remus staring longingly after you: a girl who reads a lot. Later, Sirius and James walk over to you and tell you about Remus.

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mafia!EXO reaction when they get overprotective & jealous

(requested by anon: Could you do a mafia!au with exo when they get overprotective just like you did with bts?)

BTS version

warnings: smut, violence, swearing, dominant-submissive behaviour

You’re new to the gang and you’re already great with everyone except the leader. You didn’t talk to him much because you were scared of him as he was very short-tempered and dangerous. That’s why you were sort of submissive towards him and he adored it.. secretly. You would continue to be scared of him and not talk to him if a guy didn’t approach you today and if that didn’t trigger the leader..


He leaned against the wall, staring at you two. As your eyes met Sehun’s dark ones, Sehun lost it. He walked furiously over and punched the guy couple of times. You got up and moved Sehun away calming him down, as the guy went away. „Oppa please don't“ you whispered as you hugged him while he tried pushing past you. That finally calmed him down so he hugged you but he was still glaring at the guy. „Nobody touches you or comes near you except me. No. One.“ he growled into your ear.


His anger was rising but he managed to control it and just glare at you two. The guy went away so you got up and as you turned you almost kissed Chanyeol how close he was. „Is it fun to piss me off?“ he said as you gave him a puzzled look. He grabbed your wrist roughly and pulled you into his „office“. He placed you on the table so that he was between your legs. He grabbed your neck softly and pulled you closer. „Let me show you what else is fun“ he said while rubbing his dick against your jeans.


As you started talking to the guy he stopped all of his actions and focused only on you. You felt his gaze on you and it sent a shiver down your spine. You excused yourself from the guy and went over to Baek. Since he was sitting on the sofa looking at the guy with a creepy, killer look you knew it was best to calm him down before he really kills someone. You sat on him so that you straddled him and you hugged him playing with the end of his hair. He eventually stopped staring and hugged you back tightly.


He was super irritated and he didn’t mind showing it. „Yah, move away from her before I lose my damn temper“ he yelled at the guy who was dumbfounded. But since the words came from the leader he went away immediately. You walked over to Kai who was looking deeply into your eyes. You placed your hands on his chest and fixed his some-sort-of-a-suits collar. „I’d like it more if you took that off in my bedroom rather than fix it right now“ he said with an amused, dark expression.


You knew one of his „signs“ which showed he was on the edge. And that sign happened, he wiped his lips and his pupils became larger, darker. „I think you should go now“ you whispered to the boy who listened to you and went away. You reached Lay and moved your look away from his because that was the best thing to do now. „He was so cute even I wanted to bite him.. and tear his limbs off“ he spitted it out almost. „But I don’t wanna do that.. Instead I want to bite you. In my bed with you naked“


He was having a calm posture but he was far from calm. He didn’t want you to see his bad side. He went back to his „office“ and sat patiently waiting for you to show up. You entered a few minutes after and turned around to close the doors. Just as you were about to turn around he pressed you against the door, pressing his dick roughly against you. „I promised myself I won’t show you my bad, dangerous side.. but you won’t escape it now“


As he started biting his inner lip you knew it wasn’t good. Plus he’s been staring for a few minutes now with his famous i-will-fucking-kill-you look. „Sorry I have to go to oppa“ you said startling the guy. You came up to him and stood in front of him while he just sat and watched you angrily. He pulled your arm fiercely so you were on his level. „You don’t know how close I was to taking you to my office and spanking your bratty ass a million and one fucking time“


He gave the guy an obviously unamused look so he went away. He pulled you into his „office“. „You really have a terrible taste in men you know?“ you were unamused so you were your cocky self. „That’s right. That’s why I fell for your stupidass“ Instantly his posture changed and his eye colour got darker. „What did you just say to me?“ his breathing got low. „Better apologise now and I might go easy on you“ he grabbed your ass really hard making you cry out. „Suppose you like it rough. How lucky, me too“


You noticed his deadly look a bit too late. He got to him already and started punching him. „You know she’s mine you brat“ he yelled at him. You were shook but you had to calm him down. „Chen“ you said as you moved him away but with almost no success, he was so god damn strong. „Chen!“ you yelled while burying yourself into his chest to distract him. His breathing and death glares have gradually faded and he hugged you back, kissing your forehead.


He lost it the second the guy came up to you. „Aish you bastard“ he was walking furiously towards him. He was almost unstoppable. He punched him so many times the guys had to move him away as well as the other guy. You were angry at him but you had to calm him down now. You came up to him and touched his hands which were stained with a bit of blood. „I’m gonna lose my god damn mind because of you“ he said complaining. „Yah you’re the one who is guilty for this mess“ you said angrily. He came to you inches apart from you face. „One more time have a bratty attitude, you won’t be able to walk for a fucking week“


He was just glaring intensely. It became quite uncomfortable so you wanted to leave. „I will leave now. Talk to you later“ you nodded and left towards the angry leader. You weren’t the type to provoke people but Kris got quite on your nerves. Lately he has been so cold to you but now no one can approach you. „If you really cared about me so much you’d be nicer to me“ „Do you want me to show you how nice and good I can be?“ he said just a bit above the whisper with an amused, dark look.


He’d just stare and glare until he couldn’t hold it in anymore. He came up to you and led you out on the fresh, cold air. „Tao it’s cold, I wanna go in“ you said trembling. „No. You’re not going amongst any guys. You’ll be only with me“ As he saw you trembling he opened his arms and unzipped his jacket. „Come here“ You hesitated but there was no such thing with Tao. He pulled you into a hug covering you with his jacket. „When I say come here I want you to listen to me. That goes for anything I say“

xx sorry for the long wait this turned out long af lol.. hope anon is satisfied, keep requesting; im writing all the other requests too dont worry ❤️  xx


7:28 PM - After the bathroom incident only without any fighting. Harry just saw him crying and left because he has no idea how to deal with his previous notions of who Draco was falling down around his head.
9:21 AM - Roughly a month later. A friendship has formed and they’re starting to be on better terms. Draco is starting to really trust Harry, although he’d never admit it.
7:03 PM - Around a month after that. They’d just gone to Hogsmeade but the weather was crap so their outing was cut short and Harry missed his chance to ask him out.

Also just as a note: From this point forward the texts I fill out will be this darker green. The bright green is terrible contrast and people have been getting headaches from it. I lowered the brightness and saturation to hopefully make it easier on the eyes. Let me know what you guys think of the new colour.



💙💚My meep morps XD I really should start drawing again. First two pics are inspired by @dement09 work (including a crossover of the game Life is Strange as someone asked me to draw it) and the third is my Lapidot fusion ‘Spectrolite’.
I did a coloured version of her but I can find it!! If anyone wants to do colour work digitally I’m terrible at it, let me know XD
[I heckin love her hot pants, choker and knee boots, Lapis and Peri would be one sexay fusion]✨✨

dammit i wanted my first fanart of my angry trash son to be cool and intimidating and feature a lot of explosions or something, not This


Originally posted by jengkook

Word count: 1820

Warnings: ANGST

Author’s note: I feel like I got a lot to say right now. Sorry about that in advance.

First of all this scenario is inspired by K.A.R.D.’s “Rumor”. At first I didn’t liked that song but I started liking it eventually. And damn this photoshoot gets me everytime. Also I don’t have the feeling I wrote a good Jimin story yet so I hope this will be poppin.

Second thing: I guess you noticed that I am repeating the members now. I mostly pick who I think would fit the role but there hasn’t really been any request regarding a certain group/member. Just to let you know that I am open for any suggestion! If not then I am willing to continue my own comeups ;)

For the third and last thing I just reached 400 followers!! ♥♥♥ For that I wanted to welcome every new companion and of course thank you all :D It is overwhelming to me how this blog grew out of nothing :) I will continue as long as you guys like me to ;) But now we will get going!

Check out my masterlist ;)

Most recent release: Second chances



Definitions: noun; A currently circulating story or report of uncertain or doubtful truth usually spread by word of mouth.

Keep reading

Boyfriend does my makeup w/ Taeyong
  • yo fam
  • oh boy, this is going to be so cute
  • taeyong is like the softest and fluffiest person alive so this is going to be lit
  • shall we i let’s start right away??
  • yes.
  • okay so~~
  • you guys were back home after you picked him up from a schedule he had that day
  • it’s really early rn tbh, i woke up at 7 just to write for y’all
  • “where do i take you?”
  • “to your house”
  • “??? you don’t have any other schedule today?”
  • “i don’t~~ i wanted to take you out for breakfast but i need to shower first, donghyuck didn’t let me”
  • but you didn’t complain because:
  • 1. you were sleepy
  • and you were really hungry so ;^))
  • so you would have time to choose an outfit and maybe even do your makeup while taeyong was showering and changing right
  • well, nope
  • when ty got out of the bathroom already changed and you were just starting to apply makeup in your face
  • and out of the blue he’s like
  • “can i..?”
  • and you didn’t understand at first like what you can what
  • and then you saw the product on your hand and you had to think about it for like ten minutes before agreeing
  • and taeyong spent those ten mins only whine at you cutely
  • “fine,,, but,,, don’t fuck up to much,,,,”
  • “i’m a pro in this, y/n! i have my makeup done everyday too”
  • he sat beside you and started laughing bc of how nervous he was??
  • and tbh he spent the whole time giggling cutely and doing weird sounds as he was doing your makeup
  • he’s a weirdo after all :’^)
  • you helped him in big part of the process btw
  • but it was mostly when he had problems choosing the products or when he wasn’t blending enough
  • but, overall this guy did great
  • the base was great, he may fuck up your eyesbrows a lil but it wasn’t terrible
  • and the eyes, oh god, he spent so much time doing your eyes
  • he’s really perfectionist so he would want to correct everything every two seconds and try do it as symmetrical as possible
  • that’s why he fucked up your eyebrows so much, lol
  • “eyebrows are sisters no twins, bby”
  • “y/n, they look like they never met before”
  • jesus christ fghjklñ
  • for the yes he actually tried to copy a makeup look based of a photo he found on the internet
  • he was like this colours are natural and it seems pretty simple, how hard can this be
  • wELL
  • this boy was clearly terrible at blending properly and wasn’t aware of how hard this shit actually is
  • so you probably had to do one of your eyes and teach him step by step so he could do the other one
  • so most of the time he was just cutely watching you and listening to you so carefully aw he’s adorable
  • he followed all your tips and made the same things than you but it still was really terribñe
  • he probably got really frustrated and let you do the other eye too, lmao
  • “okay, lips”
  • “*deep sigh*”
  • “this can’t bee too difficult, right?”
  • he lined your lips really fucking slowly
  • like, this guy is really weak for cute lips and especially if they were yours so he was trying to contain himself
  • but he couldn’t, lol
  • he applied your lipstick really well, following the lines he did before and everything,,
  • but as soon as he finished he already had his lips over yours and was kissing you sweetly
  • he probably had to re-do it bc he literally had more makeup in his lips than you
  • “i think you’re done, princess”
  • “gorgeous”
  • “i did a terrible job but somehow you still look stunning”
  • he showered you in compliments the whole day
  • and his idea was spending the rest of the day w you but hE HAD TO SHOW IT TO THE MEMBERS
  • but they probably started to flirt w you and he got jealous, lol
  • anyways, the end bbies
  • this wasn’t too trashy??? woa i should wake up early more often

First, he was Svlad.

Svlad was a good name, at first. It was his mothers warm embrace. It was toothy smiles and sweet naivety. It was hand holding and a familiar sense of safety. It was bright colours and the laughter of a happy family.
But it was also laughter of a different kind. Mocking laughter of other children as he told them about the push in his brain, the nudges that told him where he needed to go, what he needed to do. The nervous laughter of teachers as they invited his parents in to discuss things in hushed voiced. The faked laughter of his mother as he asked if she was worried. Svlad was fleeting memories and irreversible decisions, it was new people he despised and new places that trapped him in their depths. It was being dragged away as his family watched. Svlad was saying goodbye to everything he’d ever known.

Svlad was bittersweet.

Next, he was Icarus.

Icarus was loneliness. It was monotone, a blur of dull greys and sterile whites. It was flashes of others in the hallways. It was expressionless armed guards that did nothing but push him back down when he asked them how they could just stand by when this was happening, how they could watch him suffer and be content.
It was those days. The days where things weren’t okay when he heard the lock click behind him. The days that were vague messes of pain and begging and “theoretical” scenarios and nausea and god please don’t and questions he couldn’t answer. The days where he emerged blank faced and empty and wanting to collapse and never get up. The days when he started out wondering what they would do to a kid and ending up wondering what they wouldn’t.
It was also games. Mind games. It was a man with a moustache who was nice to him. It was kindness in a place where his happiness was just a bargaining chip. It was forced smiles and learning when to speak and when to play it safe. It was blame and tactics and things he didn’t want to deal with. It was a father figure, one that manipulated and played with his emotions and wasn’t really a father at all. It was learning how to fight, fight so he could survive when the only weapon he had was information.

There was nothing good about Icarus.

Now, he’s Dirk.

Dirk is making up for lost time. It’s movies and music and bright colours and choices. It’s an explosive mess of mistakes. It’s hurting and not knowing how to heal, it’s carrying on when giving up is the most sensible option. It’s faking happiness and optimism until he actually feels it. It’s learning how to live.
It’s friends and people and love and heartbreak, it’s amazing and terrible and he’d never have it any other way. It’s tears and blood and screaming and laughter, it’s relationships and good people and bad people and people in between. It’s absolutely crazy and he’s at the whims of the universe most of the time, but standing with his loved ones he’s absolutely in control.
Dirk is utterly and entirely his own. It was not given to him, not by some CIA scientist nor a family that abandoned him. He chose it. He gave people permission to use it.

Dirk is life, and it is his.

~Protection During Sleep~

This spell is for protecting yourself from harmful and/or negative energies or spirits in one of your most vulnerable states; sleep. If you feel in danger of psychic attacks, unwanted Night visitors, or reoccurring nightmares (induced by an outside force or not), this works especially well. I did this spell right after banishing a spirit that gave off a terrible vibe. It would not communicate with me, and I believe it was trying to disguise itself. I wouldn’t sleep in my own bed, I was so frightened. I had did a spell to exorcise it, and cleansed my room with the smoke of white sage, too. But that isn’t really part of this, and now I’m just rambling.

Things you will need:

- White or ivory coloured candle. The colour white has properties of purification, peace, spirituality, healing, and protection. Ivory has properties of Balance, and keeping one safe from harm. (And something to light it with!)

- A small fabric pouch that closes. Sewing one yourself is an extra benefit because it really puts your energy into it. Plus you can choose associative colours of fabric.

- Agrimony: Helps build psychic/energy shield, banishes negative spirits and energies, ensures peaceful sleep, and provides protection.

- Mugwort: Encourages prophetic dreams (as well as astral projection, and lucid dreaming), and provides protection.

- Lavender: Protection, aids in sleep, purification, happiness, and love.

- Jasmine: Love, encourages prophetic dreams, induces sleep.

- Red clover: Provides protection from evil spirits.

- Amethyst: Protection, influences or clears the mind, encourages dreams. Small pieces or chips of amethyst work well for this, but you can use any size, really.

- Tigers eye: Protection and grounding. I would also recommend it to be at least somewhat of a triangular shape. (Though it doesn’t need to be!) The three points of the triangle represent mind, body, and spirit.

- Small piece of paper and a writing utensil.

If you’d like (and I do), first meditate and/or clear your mind. Imagine your aura and mind open, your body a vessel for the natural energies. Light the candle. Take Time to soak in it’s energy. Imagine the energy radiation from the flame. Put the agrimony, mugwort, lavender, jasmine, red clover, amethyst, and tigers eye in your small fabric pouch. Let yourself feel the properties of each component. I like to internally thank each plant for its aid. Next, on your paper write the following;

“In wake and close of slumber,
Banish all energies that lurk under.
And while my head shall lay to rest,
Keep all evil far from thee
In my sleep when I cannot see.”

You can really write any chant you want. This is just one that I wrote, and found worked well. Don’t be afraid to be creative and personal!

Recite the lines aloud, then fold the paper, and place it in the pouch. Close tightly so none of the contents will fall out, and place under your mattress, pillow, or near you when you go to sleep. I prefer to have it directly under my pillow. You could also sew the pouch into a pillow, or just put everything in one. Make sure to blow out your candle! (Maybe the most important step. Safety, yeah!)