“Not being heard is no reason for silence” is such a beautiful quote from Les Mis and it kills me every time that it’s not mentioned in the context of the rebellion but just an old man rambling about how to burry a nun while Jean Valjean isn’t listening at all
i saw you today for the first time in three months. you looked so gorgeous, i didn’t realize how badly i’ve fallen for you until today. you sat there, glancing at me once in awhile. i made sure our eyes didn’t make contact as i took glimpses at you secretly. our eyes met. my heart was beating out its chest. i forgot to exhale. i haven’t felt this way towards anyone in a long time, i kind of missed this feeling. but not in this way, knowing that you don’t want me in the way i want you. and that makes me cry, it kills me every single day and night.
Sometimes, when it feels like missing you will kill me, I have to look back at how many days have gone by that I’ve survived without you. Ive learned to expand my mind, laugh again, have fun, get out of bed, seek adventure with other people, and to begin to focus on my major. I did all of this without you. I would’ve rather had you there with me, but you weren’t and I'm still breathing. Every time I wish you were experiencing something with me, or I think about what you would say if you were here, or I feel the loneliness creeping up and consuming me, I remind myself that I’ve survived that feeling many times and that it won’t kill me. It will hurt like hell, but it can’t defeat me.
When someone becomes a part of you, what do you do? What do you do when you genuinely miss a person after an hour of being apart? When you know they can’t talk but you think you’ll burst if you can’t tell them something funny you just thought of? And what happens when every day that passes is another day closer to the day they leave you? I wrote you a song back in October, and the end of it goes like this:
“I never saw you coming And when I see you go It’ll kill me I never saw you coming And now I never wanna see you go Do you ever wish you had a time machine I just have to know What shade of grey my sky will be The day you leave Without me”
Sleepless Sundays really are a thing I guess.
Remember those lazy afternoons when we’d just sit around and watch the sun set? We’d sit there for hours, until the red disappeared from the sky. Sometimes, you’d fall asleep, but it was okay, I never minded the silence.
That might sound boring, but the boring days are the days I remember the most.
The part of me that hated myself was murdered yesterday. The version of me that was unkind and cruel was destroyed years ago. I replaced my angry hard heart with a soft one and switched the part of my brain that hated anyone off. And the part of me that insisted on my killing myself? I strangled it with my bare hands for trying to suggest that I did not have a place in or beauty to give to this world.
Yes, I have killed myself many times. But only the parts of myself that caused me damage, that caused others pain, that told me my life was not worth living.
The universe made no mistake by creating me. And it made no mistake by creating you either. Kill the version of you that tries to tell you it has. You deserve every moment of the previous gift of life you have been given.
this day in 1945, the bombing of Tokyo by the United States Air Forces
began. There had
been raids by B-29 bombers since November 1944, but this was one of the most destructive in history. The raid on the night of
March 9th saw 334 B-29s take off in Operation Meetinghouse, with 279 of
them dropping around 1,700 tons of bombs. 16 square miles of the
Japanese capital were destroyed, around a million were left homeless and
around 100,000 people died as a result of the firestorm. Tokyo saw many
raids such as this, with over 50% of Tokyo being destroyed by the end
of the Second World War. However the firebombing on the night of March
9/10th was the single deadliest air raid of the war; the immediate
deaths were higher than seen at Dresden, Hiroshima or Nagasaki as single
didn’t bother me very much at that time… I suppose if I had lost the
war, I would have been tried as a war criminal…. Every soldier thinks
something of the moral aspects of what he is doing. But all war is immoral and if you let that bother you, you’re not a good soldier.“ - Curtis LeMay, the American general behind the firebombing campaign
Summary: Loki has turned a new leaf, and has taken residence at the tower. That doesn’t mean everyone trusts him. It’s family night, and everyone is invited but him. You decide to spend some time with Loki in his room.
Pairing: Loki x Reader
A/N: WOOOHOOO!!!!! Finally I uploaded something!!! Tasha Tuesday tomorrow, and some more Bucky on the way too!
Ever since Loki got to the tower, you could say things have changed. The easy going, peaceful atmosphere has all but diminished. Everyone is either terrified of the God, or just down right hate him. I believe in the power of positive attitude and kindness. I believe he has changed his ways, but I also think treating him as if he’s a monster will just turn him back into one. I’m not saying I expect everyone to treat him like family immediately, I understand what he’s done and what he’s tried to do. I don’t expect them to accept him with open arms, especially Clint. I’ve caught him with an arrow towards him and I’ve had to stop him. I didn’t figure I’d have to tell a man with 3 kids not to shoot an arrow at a new ally.
As ‘family’ night in the avengers tower is in full swing, I can’t help but feel guilty as literally the only one who wasn’t invited was Loki. Even Thor is here.
“Come on, (Y/N) lighten up. It’s family night!” Tony slaps me on the back, causing me to spit my wine out. Glaring up at him, I put my wine glass on the table.
“It doesn’t really feel like family night.” He raises an eyebrow at me.
“Something wrong?” Steve comes up behind me, resting his hand on my shoulder. I shrug his hand off my shoulder.
“How can we really call this family night when the newest member of our ‘family’ is never invited, and we make no effort to make him feel welcome?” I throw my arms up, walking out of the kitchen. I hear Steve sigh, and I can sense him following me.
“What do you want Steve?”
“Where are you going?” I turn to face him. Maybe it’s PMS, because I’m usually not this highly emotional, but I can feel tears prick my eyes.
“I’m going to go see Loki, because I seem to be the only one who believes in him and I want to spend time with him.” Steve keeps up with me, his hands in his pockets.
“Look, (Y/N) I know how you feel. Really, I do. But he made his bed, and now he has to lay in it.” I turn sharply, and I can only hope the glare I had on my face would kill a man.
“I don’t know about you, Captain, but I believe every man can change his ways. I think Loki is a prime example of that.” He crosses his arms, spreads his legs and looks at the ground, before looking up at me.
“This is Loki we’re talking about here, (Y/N). The God of Mischief and Lies. He can make you think anything about him that he wants you to. He’s dangerous.” I roll my eyes for the one-too-manyth time today.
“That’s rich coming from the man who said, and I quote “There’s only one God ma’am, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t dress like that.” Does that ring a bell to you, Captain Rogers?” I think for once, I’ve struck the man speechless. It feels good. Empowering.
“Now, please excuse me. Someone has to let him know he’s wanted around here, even if you don’t.” He uncrosses his arms, running his right hand through his hair.
“(Y/N) that’s not what I meant and you kn-”
“Goodbye, Rogers. Enjoy family night.” I’m in the elevator with the doors closing before he can finish his sentence. I don’t think that was too harsh, right? Considering the shit way they’ve been treating Loki.
I understand how dangerous the man is, believe me, I was there when we fought him and the chitauri. I also believe in second chances. Now I know, world domination is a REALLY big thing to have to forgive, and as I’ve stated before, I do not expect everyone to forgive him and be his best friend. He has a long road ahead to make people trust him again, and he’s acutely aware of that. And even if he has no one else, he’ll have me. And I hope that means something to him.
Coming to Loki’s door, I knock firmly twice, awaiting his response. The door opens on its own, no doubt with a little help from his magic. Entering his room, which is decorated with green, gold and black. Did you expect anything else? He lays perched on his bed, his back resting against the headboard, and a book in his left hand, a book he’s no doubt read numerous times, and his right hand behind his head. He looks at me out of the corner of his eye.
“Good evening, pet.” My cheeks become hot at this new nickname of his, he just recently started calling me said name.
“Good evening, Loki.” He closes his book, and sets it in his lap, leaning towards me and raising an eyebrow.
“Why are you not with your comrades? It is, family night is it not?” I sigh, looking down at my hands, and twiddling with my fingers.
“It is, I just thought you could use some company. If you don’t mind, that is.” He grins, setting his book on his large, black bedside table.
“How considerate of you, darling. Come, sit.” He gestures to the spot next to him on his massive bed. I don’t know why, but Loki has always been intimidating to me. I’m not afraid, no. He doesn’t scare me, not anymore at least. His presence DEMANDS respect, way more so than Thor. I thought meeting the God of thunder and fertility was difficult, meeting Loki is a whole new ball game. He is stunning in a way no mortal man could ever compete with. Him and Thor are both similar, and yet total opposites. They’re both visually stunning, in their own respects. Thor is powerful, in every sense of the word, and strikingly handsome. He’s cheery, humble, and kind. He is sunshine, while he controls the rain.
Loki is devastatingly handsome, in ways Thor could never accomplish. He’s clever, witty, dark and humorous. He’s romantic, and whimsical. It takes all these qualities to make him the God of mischief and lies, and he does not disappoint. Perhaps it is these features that has caused me to fall so hard for him..
Doing as he asks, I sit next to him on the bed, moving cautiously, as not to stardle him. Not that I ever could, but just to be on the safe side, I take my time.
“How has your evening been, Loki?” He smirks, turning to face me.
“Quite enjoyable, really. More so now. What have I done to deserve your presence darling?” I bite my lip, looking down into my lap.
“I-I just thought maybe you didn’t want to be alone, and I don’t like the thought of family night when the newest of our family was up in his room alone.” He scoots closer to me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.
“Mmm, I see. I’m glad you decided to stop in and visit me. Although I must confess, this is not anything new to me, pet. I’m used to being left out. You needn’t trouble yourself with me. My past decisions led me to where I am now, and I must live with the consequences. Do not fret over me, pet. I shall be fine.” I turn to face him, licking my lips and taking a deep breath.
“Nobody deserves to live a life of solitude, Loki. You’ve made some bad choices, yes. The world will probably never see you as good ever again, but that shouldn’t mean the ones you call friends and family never will again. I was THERE, Loki, I saw what happened. I fought against you and almost got killed in the process, I’ve saved many lives, and lost even more. But I believe a man can change, and I believe you have. If nothing else, we as your new comrades should have some faith in you, even if just a little.” During my whole speech, he was looking deep into my eyes, trying to find a lie, or a stretch of the truth, of which I knew he wouldn’t find. He licks his lip, before drawing it into bite on it.
“Why? Why do you believe in me? I do not deserve it.” I sigh.
“Everyone deserves someone cheering them on in their own little corner.” He smirks, bringing his hand up to cup the back of my head, before pulling me closer to him and leaning in.
“I’ve wanted to do this for so long.” I lick my lips, whilst staring at his own.
“What are you waiting for then?” He needs no more convincing, he leans up, capturing my lips with his own. The kiss is slow, but passionate. There’s no need to rush here, we have all the time in the world.
“What will your friends think of this?” He asks once he pulls away, licking his bottom lip.