this quote just

somedays, i will implode on myself. i will quietly shut down, no tears, no shouts, no alarms. i will be too cold, too distant—untouchable and unreachable. don’t panic. somedays, i will implode on myself. it won’t be your fault. let me recover, softly and slowly. hold me when i remember how to feel again.

somedays, i will be reckless. i will be wild and unstoppable. i will jump off cliffs and taste like cigarettes and smell like booze. i will forget you and i will forget me and i will smile. i will smile, until it hurts and i will cry because it won’t be enough. somedays, i will be reckless. it won’t be your fault. wait until i am sober before you berate me, but know that it won’t be the last time.

somedays, i will explode on you. suddenly, suddenly and all at once, i will yell and rage and hate. i will tear you apart with my words and i will not stop, even when you cry. know that i am sorry. it won’t be your fault. i could never hate you. all those words are meant for me, not you. let me remind you that you are too good for me. somedays, i will explode on you. let me apologize.

somedays, i will be gentle. i will take you to museums and coffee shops and the world will feel bright and whole. i will make eggs and toast and dance in the kitchen with you. i will tell you about my favorite memories and you will think this is, this is how it is meant to be. it will end. it won’t be your fault. somedays, i will be gentle. remember that i am not always whole, remember the good comes with the bad.

most days, i will be hard to love. it won’t be your fault. i will not blame you when you leave.

Fred and George, in disguise: [knock on the doors of Hogwarts]

McGonagall: [opens the doors]

Fred: Hello, young lady! We’re selling Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans! 

George: Is your boss around?

McGonagall: ALBUS!

Dumbledore: WHAT? WHAT’S ALL THE YELLING?

McGonagall: THEY’RE SELLING BERTIE BOTT’S EVERY FLAVOR BEANS

Dumbledore: WHAT? WHAT’RE THEY SELLING?

McGonagall: EVERY FLAVOR BEANS

Dumbledore: WHAT

McGonagall: EVERY. FLAVOR. BEANS.

Dumbledore: I️ CAN’T HEAR YOU

McGonagall: THEY’RE SELLING EVERY FLAVOR BEANS!

Dumbledore: THEY’RE SELLING EVERY FLAVOR BEANS?!

McGonagall: YEAH!

Dumbledore: Ah Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans! I️ remember when they first invented Every Flavor Beans! Sweet, sweet Beans!

McGonagall:

Fred:

George:

Dumbledore: I️ ALWAYS HATED THEM

“I’m so tired of loving you in my sleep and waking up alone.”

–a special kind of hell