Listen. Listen. It’s okay not to be your ideal person right now. It’s okay not to be anyone’s ideal person right now. I keep seeing posts about like “you’re someone’s perfect person” or “you’re someone’s fantasy” and everyone is reblogging them with “lol I sure wish they’d speak up then because I’m pretty sure I’m not” and it’s so frustrating because of COURSE you aren’t. That would suck. Ideals exist as things to strive toward, and if you were already there you wouldn’t have much to do or anywhere to go.
Allow yourself character development. Allow yourself the full length of a story to get there. You’re still living the story, you don’t need to be at a perfect resolution yet.