this quote is pretty long but all of it is so wonderful

Quotes from Harry Styles’ Interview

Writing for his album

“I started the album end of Feb last year for about three weeks and then had to stop for about 5 months when I went to do a movie. I came back to it in July and finished writing it in December. For a while before all I thought about it was stressing about what it was going to be. It gave me a chance to completely step away from it for a bit and have a real break. By the end of the movie, because we were swimming so much I just wanted to write songs…I think we wrote about 70 songs - we did 50 songs and ideas in Jamaica and that’s including like little ideas. Well full songs, I say there are 30 songs probably. One of the songs on the album, I wrote a few years ago.”

On his album

“I was with the guys who I was writing it with and we just wanted to make what we wanted to listen to and that has been the most fun part for me about making the whole album. In the least weird way possible, it’s my favourite album to listen to at the moment… I hope we did a good job but I really like the album so I hope people like it. I think if you put out something that you don’t stand behind and really love, then if it doesn’t go well then you could regret not doing what you wanted to do. Whereas if nothing happens with it, I love it you know so I think that’s what you should do. I think that’s been my favourite part to the overall thing is listening to the album and making all the changes – it has been fun to watch over it all.”

Writing in Jamaica

“I just wanted to not be somewhere that I’d get distracted. It was 360 of writing, you’d go home for dinner, write at the house then go back to the studio. I liked being away from everything and doing it like that.”

About his debut single

“It’s a bit weird, I feel like I’ve been hibernating for so long now and you hear it in the safety of the studio and now it’s time to give birth … it’s the song (debut single) I’m most proud of writing.”

About making it on his own

“I’ve been hibernating trying to get it all ready, that’s been fun, but I like this bit as well. I think it’s gonna be fun, it’s gonna be good. It’s not like I’m travelling on my own now, I have a band and everything and they’re amazing.”

Ed Sheeran

“I played him (Sheeran) a few songs after the album was finished. He didn’t say that he didn’t like any, but he did like one song that isn’t on the album. So I did have a bit of a minute of like hmmm no but…”

On Adele

“I’ve spoken to her a little bit, she knows one of the guys that I wrote it with (his music) a lot. But I don’t think so much advice, I just like how she does stuff. I think she leads by example, she’s the biggest, she’s amazing, she’s the best so she should be the biggest. The thing with her is she’s a different thing, she’s just good at it, I like how she does everything, it looks very nice. For my 21st she gave me one of her albums 21 and said, ‘I did some pretty cool stuff when I was 21, good luck’ and I was like, 'geez’.”

On Dating

“I haven’t dated in a long time really because I went away to do the movie then did the album so I haven’t in a while. I have a couple of candles left still though. 

Whether dating when famous is hard

“I don’t know, maybe. I feel like with all of the stuff how people date now, with all online stuff, I feel like you can do that (Google) with anyone really if you’re looking at someone’s profile before seeing them. It’s kinda the same… No, I used to (research dates), then I said I’m not going to do that anymore, it’s impossible to go in without a perception of someone and you’ve never met them and I started feeling like that was wrong and weird. I think I snore, and also I quite like routine, so I don’t know if I’m ­incredibly spontaneous.”

Cutting his hair for Dunkirk

“I felt very naked for a while. I was like yeah, I’ve gotta shave my hair off. It wasn’t a hard decision, it got made into a wig.”

Why he rarely tweets

“I don’t like saying something for the sake of it.”

Life at home and work

“The first time I went home not wearing trainers, I was in a pair of boots. Someone said, ‘What the bloody hell are they?’ I like to separate working and being at home with family.”

Staying grounded

“It’s easier in the way that I like to separate stuff from working and being at home with family and stuff. When you separate it it’s easier to see it for what it is. When you let it become everything and that’s your whole life, then it’s easy to get a bit lost in it. I’m lucky, I have amazing friends and my family’s amazing so I think they make it easier to keep the separation between the two which makes it easier for me.”

Being nervous about playing his music to others

“I think it’s nerve-racking in that I’ve only played it to like 10 people in a room. I try and not be there if I’m playing it…”

His mother and step-father’s reactions to the album

“I played the album to them the first time and there’s one song that’s got a vocal effect on it, the whole album finished then my stepdad said: ‘I’ve one question, where did you get the duck from, how did you get a duck in the studio?’ I was like: ‘That was me, thanks’. My Mum liked it which was handy. She cried a couple of times which was good, I think that was good.”

Musical Influences

“I think it’s hard to not have influencers from what you grew up listening on. I think everyone reacts differently to different types of music. I had a good range between my mum and dad… my dad listened to Fleetwood, The Beatles, Rolling Stones, Pink Floyd and Queen. My mum was like Norah Jones and Savage Garden. There are a lot of melodies there.”

Being starstruck by other celebrities

“I remember the first time we went to an awards show in the US, we met Will Smith. It was a brief meeting – he was nice and very tall.”

Addressing the rumour about getting a sheep placenta facial

“No I’ve never had a sheep placenta facial.”

Rumours about Hobama

“I’m not allowed to talk about that.”

Rumour on taking his dates on helicopter rides

“No I’ve never done that,” Harry says, with Grimmy responding: “Not even with Barack?”

“No,“ Harry says. “It was his helicopter, haha.”

Talking about Chris Martin

“He’s lovely isn’t he? He is good at telling you to take care of yourself. I think he makes sure you are alright and is very zen. I think he is a pretty wonderful man.”

On Ronnie Wood

“Big fan, I love Ronnie Wood – I think I met him at a dinner party a few years ago and went to a couple of Stones shows…I think he is the nicest.”

Interviewing Paul McCartney for his Another Man issue

“It was amazing – his voice sounds like a song.”

Loving scented candles

“I mean I think everyone loves scented candles. But I usually take one from home if I’m travelling.”

About sprouts being the new kale

“I went two days ago. I got some spinach, eggs, OJ, milk, turkey and some brussels sprouts. Hmm what else did I buy…oh some Crème Eggs. I like putting sprouts in a curry and I like sauteing them. I think they are going to be the new kale. I met [someone] and I asked her what she did and she said ‘I’m the PR lady for Kale’ and I was like ‘good job then.”

Talking about his four nipples

“Still got them, managed to keep them. Maybe I just hide them in limited edition albums, like golden tickets. I’ll hold onto them.”

Best trait

“Best trait I don’t know, it’s weird to pick your best, shall we go with the nipples thing.”

On where not to ask him for a selfie

“I think in toilets is the weirdest one. It’s happened a couple of times… When someone tries to shake your hand right after having a wee, ‘I might wash my hands first’.”

About Liam’s son and being a potential godfather

“I spoke to Liam and he’s loving it. He said it’s going really well and everyone’s great. So I’m very happy for him. I think it’s a roll of the dice, there are a lot of people Liam has in mind. I’m not going to add any extra pressure. If it came my way I would be honoured.”

Say That Again

Summary: Soulmate AU. Everyone hears a key word or phrase in their head from their soulmate, something only heard in person when the moment is right.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 2,543

Warnings: language, self-consciousness, fluff, that’s basically it

A/N: This is my submission for the lovely wonderful talented @bladebarnes’ 2k Celebration Challenge. My prompt was 35. quote: “Say that again.” I saw Baby Driver recently and couldn’t get the diner thing out of my head.

Originally posted by coporolight

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Mystic Messenger : Prologue ~ V Walkthrough (FULL ANSWERS)

I worked all alone - I cheked each answers ~ Please be considerate.

Like, reblog, or do nothing, but please don’t copy/paste it and claim it as your own… I am on my own and spent a lot of time to do this.

If you are on phone, please setting the page to be seen in the computer version! On the phone, the answers are sometimes unaligned and it can confuse you…

In order to not bother and annoy my followers who don’t play this game by this looong post, I’ll put a seperate line. Click to see.

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I’m tired of being sad and having no clue as to why I am this way, so I’ll write about the happy bits of me and why I smile. I dance when I’m alone, when the music gets just right and I’m sure that no one is watching, it’s okay to feel lonely, I used to not like the idea of it, but once you’re comfortable in your own skin even depression starts to feel like a breeze. I’m reading a book that says we are the beliefs and thoughts that we think and believe in. So if I say that I’m happy a thousand times, one of those will come back as true. So if I say I’ll find the love of my life some day, some day she’ll appear in front of me while I’m writing another poem. It’s good to have goals, the only goal I’ve ever had up until recently was to keep myself happy with someone else, that’s not a goal, but an illusion. You can’t live your life for someone else, it’s called your life for a reason. Happiness must happen when I say so, so I’m saying so. We bring into this world the kind of kindness that we’ve been dealt, so when I fake a smile, my mother is omnipresent. Although it’s not real, fake it until you make it, right? The book also says, spend more time doing things that make you lose track of time, so I decided to write again and more often than not, to not compare myself to others because once you start doing that, there’s no going back. I don’t write like someone else, I write like myself. I don’t think like anyone that I know, there’s just you and the beautifully twisted world, we’re all trying to find redemption inside of coral skies and trustworthy friends. I would break my own hand to contain my anger, it is contained. Happiness is what we make it, so if I say that it exists, then it will be so. Listening to your guidance, that makes me happy. You know who you are. Breathless to the words, you paint the sunrise with your pinky and promise that as long as I’m here today, tomorrow will not be filled with sorrow. I keep writing letters to the future person that I will be, I wonder if I’ll change. I probably will, we all do in one way or another. I’m the kind of person that snaps a picture of the sky while I’m driving, I’m reckless, but we’re still alive. Life’s too short and I need to be more careful, I’m certain that death has given up a few passes for me. Do you ever feel like you’re running out of time? Like there’s something trying to make a statement, a lost word that even google couldn’t even get its hands on. Do you ever feel like no one’s really listening? We’re all selfish in the end, but the ones that truly listen– they are the ones that I live for. I maintain online friendships better than I do with my siblings, I guess our thinking is just on different frequencies. On the topic of frequencies– the you that you would like to be is out there, you just need to listen. Hear the right words said by the right person and you’ll be in the right spot to be the you that you’d want to be in this life. Do you ever feel like you’re not good enough? Remember that thing I said about thoughts? Sometimes we just need to let go a little bit, embrace the art of it. To be left to the wind, the unknown will bring us to more adventures and you may not be loved by many, but there’s a chance that you will be– why not take it? I would like to break out of this, I want to smile more and to laugh a little louder, I just want to make myself proud of who I will be versus who I used to be. And you can’t turn back the hands of time, you cannot change your mistakes– they are permanent, but you are not. There is a fire inside of your chest and if you keep suffocating yourself with an indescribable pain then you’ll only suffer in a incomprehensible way. I just want to fill this world with more love and less pain, I see a butterfly and I’m easily distracted– how beauty will fly past you if you’re not even paying attention because you’re so damn sad all of the time. So I drop all signs of negativity and lean towards the positive, I am the only vibe that’ll alter my moods, so I must feel more wealthy than a million silver spoons even if I don’t have any, so I must create the art that likes to spill from my fingertips, we live such short lives– why not be the best version of yourself? Who will you be if tomorrow was your last day on this planet? Will you cry because it’s over? Or will you search the ends of the earth until you’ve found the fountain of youth? I’ve got a secret to share with you. You can be a 100 years old and still have the sweetest smile, you can be in your 20s and have a soul heavy enough to sink the titanic, life is strange, life is strange. We live our youth to buy pretty things, but live our oak days trying to make up more time– it waits for no one, the wrong turn will break you, a simple kiss will turn your thoughts into poetry and a life of self-hate is a road that needs constant validation– why not be your own way out? Be your own lover, be your own brand of music, be your own kind of poem, be your own story of kindness, and if you’re not perfect just look around– nobody is. I’m tired of dreaming, I want to build it instead. You can’t be who you want to be if you’re still having the same thoughts from last year– you can’t change or heal in the right way if you’re not willing to break a few pieces of your heart because the clutter inside of our minds often match the attitude that we give off. So like a quote, so like a poem, so like a bedtime story. If I repeat it enough times, I’ll be happy. I just want to be happy. I just want to let go of the bad feelings. I just want to love myself enough to see a brighter day. You can’t change the world if you can’t even change yourself, right? If I repeat it enough times, then it must be real. I will be happy. Sadness is a crucial emotion because without it, being delighted and euphoric wouldn’t be so dense, but that’s the beauty of the intensity to which we should love ourselves. I want to be so fucking glad to wake up today that it’ll just drown my depression into the white noise. I want to glow in the dark and live like the jellyfishes, give my poetry the immortality to always bring a smile onto the faces of those that love who I am even if I’m a bit flawed because at the end of the day– you’re the only one sleeping on your bed, you’re the only one who’s going to determine if you’ve got enough room to breathe, you’re the only one to have the last say if you’re art or not.
—  I wanted to write something happy for you–
yes, you. The person that’s reading this.
1. Neosporin is really good for stretch marks.  (for people who dislike them but always know that there’s nothing wrong with having stretchmarks!)
2.  Clean rooms bring good energy. Open your blinds and turn some music on a get to work. You will feel great!
3. The first thing you should drink in the morning is water, nothing else. Try to drink three cups throughout the day. It not only helps you lose weight but clears your skin.
4.  Sometimes you just have to read certain shit and not respond, not everybody deserves to hear your answers.
5.  Face masks are great. Find whichever kind you think you’ll like best and put it on after you take a shower and just chill in bed.
6. Too much coconut oil clogs your pores. Use it wisely.
7.  Going to bed at a decent time is cool. Don’t let your phone distract you, the earlier the sleep the more energy you’ll have the next.  More sleep = more motivation to get your work done. just do it.
8.  Naps are good and sometimes it’s okay to not do that one page of homework and call it quits to get rest.
9.  If you hate just plain water and you can’t stand drinking it put lemons and other fruits in it.
10.  Water with lemon cleans your system out nicely and makes you urine more.
11.  Eight tracks is a good app for new music and playlist. If you haven’t used it try it. Music always makes things better.
12.  Keep your private life to yourself or else you will have to face other people’s ugly comments.
13. Try to read at least 5 books this year or more, especially if you don’t like reading. Reading benefits you in many ways, you will be proud.
14. If you have the time to get chores or homework done then do it, don’t tell yourself you’ll do it later. 
15. Invest in good bath products, soaps and bath bombs and bath oils. they will do your skin wonders.
16. Invest in good hair products too, make sure you buy things for your hair type. 
17. If you want to have sex then have sex and do you, forget the comments. Bring your own condoms if you must.
18. Be friends with who you want to be friends with. You don’t have to be friend everybody.
19. Always stick up for yourself, but if you are wrong and you are being told so, take time to think and accept it.
20. Keep an extra pair of panties, pads/tampons, chapstick and headphones on you just in case.
21. Cranberry juice, yogurt, pineapples, apple juice and just natural sweet things in general.. eat it. I hope you catch my drift.
22. Mens shaving cream works better than woman’s, it makes you skin softer and hair stays gone longer.
23. Men’s razors provide a closer shave. Invest in them.
24. Buying lingerie or pretty undergarments in general will make you feel so much more confident.
25. Sometimes it’s good to just listen to people talk and let them talk for the sake of you not arguing and loosing brain cells.
26. Everybody should take a bath a few times out of the week or months. Baths open your pores and yes showers are cool but baths are A1.
27.  Always put on lotion after you finish bathing too. You want your skin nice and smooth at all times.
28. Save your money. as soon as you get it the first thing you shouldn’t buy is food. buy things that will last and benefit you.
29. Mind your own business. Who cares about what the next person is doing? Just do you. 
30. Organize your closet.
31. Always be nice to people who are always nice to you.
32. Compliment other people. It’s good to uplift anybody. If you think somebody’s shoes are cute just tell them.
33. Treat yourself to pasta and something nice to drink on Friday nights after a long week. Pasta makes everything better.
34. Just learn to love yourself and who you are as a person.
35. You have a right to feel whatever emotion you feel, don’t judge your emotions.
36. If you are sensitive and people bash you for it, don’t listen to their ignorant words. Sensitive people are usually emphatic.
37. Make a grocery list before you go shopping regardless of how lazy you are.
38. Take walks. If you feel bad and need to breathe, plug in your headphones and walk. They clear your mind.
39. Keep a journal and write in it whenever you feel as if you have nobody to speak to. It’s a good way to get rid of things inside.
40. If you’re confident and you think you are the shit then you keep doing that. Or fake it till you make it.
41. Embrace insults. If somebody calls you a name turn around and flip it. People hate to see you unbothered.
42. Try to use natural/organic and cruelty free skincare/haircare products. Limit nasty chemicals, it’s good for both you and the environment.
—  Tips on how to feel better and look better by @contourkits
angel on fire

Summary: Your job was supposed to be simple: watch over Steve Rogers. Never did it occur to you that someone else would attempting to corrupt him. || demon!bucky x angel!reader || oneshot (?)

Warnings: smut and all that entails it ends kinda abruptly though, shitty ending, cursing, mentions of blood/violence, dub consent(??????), overuse of the name angel 

Notes: @sanjariti helped me with the title lol, its from a halsey song, im sorry this is terrible

Originally posted by injectablefame712

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the Gorillaz fandom ❤️

So, the Gorillaz fandom is kind of a mess.

There’s a lot of fighting.

Fighting over… Well, anything really.

The characters, the music, the writing, the art, shipping, fanart, thoughts, feelings, etc… It can be really negative sometimes.

And I’m sure it can be pretty scary, especially for newer, younger fans, considering there’s even been death threats involved.

It can be super upsetting, and some people have dropped out of the fandom or deleted their blogs, or even straight up avoided the band, which is an awful shame.

But…. I still really like the fandom.

It’s actually a lot better than other fandoms, which can be even worse, (not going to mention any, but boy are there a lot) and oftentimes it’s a really lovely, funny community.

Not all the time.

But I still see others making such amazing, lovely posts, and so many fans getting so, so excited for what Gorillaz are doing, myself included.

The fact that we can all come together to love and appreciate a band that was formed in 1998, is really brilliant.

Fans that have been with Gorillaz since the very beginning, or fans that have only known them for a week… We’re all coming together to express our happiness and excitement for a group that has really helped people out.

There are fans that keep staying ALIVE, because Gorillaz get them through shit, and help them keep going throughout the really rubbish days.

Gorillaz help.

And in a way, we’re helping each other, by being supportive and coming together and getting hyped and making gorgeous artwork and coming up with fantastic headcanons and creating a sometimes hilarious, kind, fun, crazy and lovely fandom.

Again, it’s usually a mess.

There are constant fights and disgusting displays of negativity scattered about.

But, I think we should focus more on the side of the fandom that makes us smile, and laugh, and discuss, and create, and love, and inspire.

Because whether you like the music, or the story, or the art, or a bit of everything- you’re a part of such a strange and unique fandom, and you’re equally a part of a strange and unique band.

I don’t know.

I just think us all coming together to love and support Gorillaz, and each other, is fucking delightful, and despite everything, I’m glad I’m a part of it.

I love so many of you guys, and I’ve met so many wonderful people because of this fandom.

It’s far from perfect, and it can be really awful, but it still somehow continues to make me smile and make the bad days not seem so bad, and I’m really grateful for that.

I know it sounds super cheesy, but it’s true.

Gorillaz, and all the fans contributing to it, make me so happy sometimes.

Originally posted by skunkandburningtires

Sorry this is so long lolol, I just wanted to get it out there. 😂

I appreciate so many of you, and I’m positive Gorillaz do too. ❤️

And to be even more cheesy, I’m gonna quote We Got The Power from Humanz. 😂

Originally posted by calimarikid

“We got the power to be loving each other, no matter what happens. We’ve got the power to do that!” ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Harry Styles is a True Rockstar at L.A. Show: Review

Subtlety is Harry Styles’ ace. He is very, very good at being subtle. The most interesting thing Styles does during the second night of what he terms “my first tour” is sing a cover called “Just a Little Bit of Your Heart.”

“There are a lot of people in the crowd tonight, and I wouldn’t be on the stage without every single one of you,” he said Wednesday night (Sept. 20) at L.A.’s Greek Theater. “You are the best friends any person could ask for. You are wonderful. Thank you so much.”

As explained by him onstage, dressed in beautiful paisley patterned suit, this is a pretty number he once wrote for another lady to sing. Her name is Ariana Grande. He doesn’t say any more about it. But there’s a great deal more between the lines.

If you’re not a Directioner and you don’t possess an encyclopedic knowledge of all things Styles, you may never have heard this song. It seems everyone in the crowd has, which tonight includes the likes of One Direction pal Niall Horan, Fleetwood Mac’s Mick Fleetwood and actress Emma Stone.

There is crossover between the post-X Factor Styles and the post-Disney Grande among an audience who for most of music history have been berated by press and other music fans alike: “Fangirls” has been a derogatory term.

Wednesday night, fangirls arrived in buses together. They shrieked, they FaceTimed friends, they couldn’t control their emotions. The screams that came out their mouths squeezed around your head like a vice.

It took the biggest threat to this very community earlier this year for cynics to reconsider them. During Grande’s Manchester MEN Arena show, a suicide bomber turned a wondrous, happy place into a nightmare. Somewhere along the way, people thought twice about being unkind towards fangirls after that.

Styles grew up in Chester. That’s not far from Manchester. No doubt the attack resonated with him. He doesn’t say any of this. He just gets on with the show, sometimes waving a rainbow LGBTQ flag, other times blowing kisses at girls. If this is a battle to protect the safe space of pop in 2017, then Styles is our hero with a rock ‘n’ roll plan. And boy, does he have a plan.

“Good evening Los Angeles,” he says at the start of his 75-minute set. “My job is to entertain you. Your job is to have as much fun as you possibly can.”

Look around, and you see that joy on the faces of fans who have waited months to be here. It’s the uptempo numbers from his debut self-titled solo record that render them most feral and free. Take the calypso grooving “Carolina”: All around the open air amphitheater, girls with long hair stretched down to their waists flip their tresses back, throw their hands in the air, put their phones away, and close their eyes. “She’s a good girl!” he sings. You imagine the girls with peepers shut are dreaming: “Who? Me?!”

For the course of the show, Styles’ charm offensive could settle wars. He was made to be the frontman. His high school indie band White Eskimo never got as far as The Greek, but you could argue that everything he’s done between then and now was building up to this incarnation. His Jagger-meets-David Cassidy persona shines out on the swaggering “Only Angel” and “Woman.”

The atmosphere he creates at The Greek is telling of where he wants to sit in the canon of things. Filling the theater before he comes out are the likes of The Kinks’ “Sunny Afternoon,” Pink Floyd’s “Money” and Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” – all British classics.

The production screams so, too: A pink curtain hides the stage. Regarding his love of pink, Styles recently quoted The Clash’s Paul Simonon: “Pink is the only true rock 'n’ roll color.” Before the cloth falls, he appears behind it as a black silhouette, clutching his Gibson electric guitar.

When he dumps the guitar, he brings out his Jagger affectations – a flick of the wrist here, a stuck-out tongue there, a slight earnest screwing of the right side of his face to show that he means it, then the odd funny face to break up the sincerity. It’s the little things that drive the crowd wild.

Sometimes, as on “From the Dining Table,” he closes his eyes for just long enough that you wonder what it is he sees. Therein lies that enigma quality. He knows exactly the right time to give things a little sprinkle. “I’m falling in love with you,” he tells the crowd mid-song during “Woman.”

The album is an attempt to rekindle the rock genre: It was always intended to reach its full evolution when heard in its entirety live. By creating 10 songs brimming with familiar '70s styles, he manages to nail his self-imposed job as our entertainer because everything sounds like you’ve heard it before. He’s constructed a catalogue that’s easy to sing to, dance to, feel to.

There’s a “Benny and The Jets” quality to “Woman.” The rollicking “Kiwi” sounds inspired by driving down the Sunset Strip in an open-top car blasting Motley Crue’s “Girls, Girls, Girls.” He covers Fleetwood Mac’s “The Chain” as part of his encore, and it’s the most playful he looks to have ever been on a stage.

Beyond Styles himself, his band are beasts, satiating the members of the crowd who might be looking to be impressed. Not a flaw in sight to satisfy any schadenfreude. Anyway, if there were any mistakes, they’d be drowned out by the singalongs.

From the opening bars of “Ever Since New York,” the crowd hollered every number like it was the last one of the evening. Their belting of Styles’ One Direction covers (“Stockholm Syndrome,” “What Makes You Beautiful”) are frighteningly overpowering. During the latter, rows of fans stand in line, link their arms and jump up and down the way British lads do at football matches. Harry is their team, and he never lets them down.

Styles also never lets himself down. All this talk of his pursuit of “authenticity” when really he seems to be doing exactly what comes naturally. Before Styles came on tonight, his support act, a young synthpop group called MUNA from L.A., played a slew of socially conscious rock songs. Before they left, their singer Katie Gavin turned to Styles’ crowd and said, “Creating change starts with imagining change.”

You wonder if Styles imagined that when he wrote “From the Dining Table” – his favorite song on the record – and he picked the line “Even my phone misses your call, by the way,” he’d be singing it while thousands of phones lit up the night sky, waving together, taking Styles from his place of self-doubt and solitude back to this: his home, his safe space. That space is a two-way street. In that moment, fangirls and Styles protect each other. In that moment, there’s nothing they can’t achieve.

It’s not that you’re too heavy, or too thin. It’s not because you’re too slutty, or too much of a prude. It has nothing to do with the size of your breasts or your thighs or your stomach.


It’s not that you’re too successful, or not successful enough. You could spend your entire life asking yourself what you did wrong, or what it was about you that wasn’t good enough for him, what it was that other women had that you were missing.


You’ll never find the answer. Because there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s not that you aren’t pretty enough or smart enough or confident enough. It’s not your finances or your job or your friends.


You are just as you are supposed to be. You are perfect even amongst all of your imperfections. As long as you maintain a thirst for life, a desire to work hard and live truthfully, and the willpower to grow and to improve yourself and to try harder every day, you are just as you should be.


You will never be enough for him because even the most perfect, flawless woman in the world – who does not exist – would never be enough for him.


It’s him. He’s part of a certain breed. A breed that does not want to accept you for who you are, because they’re afraid of stopping the chase. They’re afraid of settling down and trying to find the true kind of love, the kind in which your love for someone is so deep that you learn to accept them and to love them just as they are. The kind of love that is so deep that their beauty seems to radiate outwards from within.


This type of breed is afraid of stopping and trying to find that love. It’s not necessarily the love that they’re afraid of. It’s the stopping. They’re afraid of stopping and discovering that they will potentially never find that kind of love. They’ve rejected you because they’re afraid of facing rejection themselves.


This type of breed does not apply to all men, just a small number. And it’s just not with men that these fears of intimacy and rejection exist. There are women like this too. There are people all over the world like this – people who continue to find issues in whomever they date, people who cannot accept anyone who’s less than perfect. Because they know, subconsciously, that they will never find this person. The high standards, the no one is good enough mindset will keep them safe. It will keep them alone.


This is not meant to be an excuse, this is not to say that you are faultless, this is not to say that you have no responsibility in your relationships. You have to try, you have to compromise, you have to be vulnerable, you have to put the other person in front of yourself. You have to work, you have to be selfless sometimes, you have to acknowledge that you have flaws, that you have made and will continue to make mistakes.


But sometimes, regardless of how hard you try, you find yourself desperately in love with someone who cannot love you back. Someone who refuses to accept you, because it’s easier to make you think something’s wrong with you than it is for them to be vulnerable and human and open to the idea of being hurt.


You cannot change them. You cannot fix them. You cannot fix you. Because you cannot apologize for who you are. You should not question what is wrong with you or what you’re missing or what you need to change.


Someone who truly loves you, someone who is truly right for you, will not force you to turn inside yourself and search for what it is about you that is wrong, what it is that needs to be changed. A person who truly loves you will bring you outside of yourself. They will bring you out into the world. They will make you want more for yourself – more happiness, more knowledge, more adventure, more experiences. The list is endless. They will excite you and support you and inspire you to be better, instead of causing you to become trapped inside your own head, wondering how you can change yourself to make them happy.


When you’ve found real love, you’ll know it. Because you’ll always be enough, regardless of your flaws and your insecurities and your vulnerabilities. You will be enough for them anyways, and they will be enough for you.

—  Why You’ll Never Be Enough For Him, Kim Quindlen 
10 Things I Loved About Mass Effect:Andromeda

Warning: Spoilers! And I wrote this on the spur, so there might be grammatical errors.

1.      I enjoyed the story. Yeah, people will say it recycles from the trilogy, but come on, people. Why are you surprised? Bioware recycles their plotlines all the time. It’s pretty much the same in all of their games. A protagonist gains special abilities and leads a Ragtag Bunch of Misfits team to defeat a big threat. And I’m not bothered by that. Sometimes familiarity in your franchise is good, just as long as you do new things to the formula, and I think they do.

What interested me the most was the theme of starting over. A lot of people in the Andromeda Initiative were former criminals or outcasts. The reason they joined was to start a new life, and it’s explored in the main questlines, the loyalty quests, and numerous side quests. I was worried about the game talking about colonization since humans are looking for a new home, but I was pleasantly surprised that the game made it clear that Andromeda is the angara’s home first, and humans and other Milky Way species will have to work with them. Thank god! No Mightey Whitey trope this time!

2.      Ryder as the player character. I honestly never thought I would love Ryder as much as I did when I played the game. Sure, no one will ever replace Commander Shepard, but Ryder isn’t meant to replace the Commander, rather show a different perspective in a new story. Commander Shepard is the hero we want to be while Ryder is more of a relatable character. Ryder has to learn through the entire game how to be a leader while going through the obstacles of their inexperience and youth so people will take them seriously. And it was compelling, uplifting, and at times amusing to see them become a hero in their own right and step out of their father’s shadow.

Also Sara and Scott felt like their own person. In the original trilogy, the player character is pretty much the same no matter what gender. But sometimes the dialogue can be different depending on if you play a male Ryder or a female Ryder. That’s because they are two different people who have had their own experiences and personalities. That really adds to the replay value!

3.      Female aliens everywhere! One of my major issues with the original trilogy was the lack of female Turians, krogans, and salarians. Sure we had asari an all-female race, and female quarians, but it felt weird that we met so many aliens with very few ladies. Not only do we get a female Turian squadmate, we also get plenty of lady alien NPCs gathered everywhere for random quests. We also have Kesh who works at the Nexus. And we get to see female salarians! And they kind of look the same as male salarians except with different voices. Thank god! It would’ve been horrifying to see salarians with boobs. Uh! And I’m pretty sure there were just as many female angara NPCs as there were males.

4.      The romances. Especially the queer ones. One of the things I love about Bioware games are the romance paths. Bonus points if there is a queer option. And as of patch 1.08, this game has the most number of queer romances in any Bioware game. I think my two favorite romance paths are with Sara and Vetra and Jaal and Scott. While representation for the LGBT community is improving in media, there’s no denying we still have a long way to go. And after again the crap year 2016 where we had a huge number of queer women characters die in tv shows, it was so wonderful to have a healthy and happy relationship between two women when I first played the game. And even if it wasn’t added until the patch, the romance between Jaal and Scott is absolutely sweet since we see two men show a lot of love and affection for each other which is rare to see in media.

5.      The Tempest Family. I adore every single character on the Tempest, and they really did feel like a family once you played further into the game. I am a sucker for found families, and to see these people who are trying to find a home ending up finding a home with each other just gives me so many feels!

Since there’s not really a huge crew in the ship like in the original trilogy when Shepard had an army of humans. In Andromeda, we have six squad mates, four additional crew members, and Ryder. And I think it made the family more intimate. It’s like our own little family lives on the Tempest.

Also I liked how there were more quests spread out throughout the game with the squad which I think was lacking in Inquisition. Plus. Movie Night is the best scene ever!

6.      In my opinion, the side quests were fun. I think this was one thing they improved from Inquisition. Inquisition side quests just felt like a bunch of fetch quests that got kind of boring pretty quick, and didn’t really add to the overall story. Some highlights from Andromeda were: Kadara, the angara reincarnation questline, the Turian jailed for murder, the anti-AI group, meeting Zaeed’s son, and those kids sending out a distress signal for a new light for their weed plant. HAHA!

They were compelling in their own right and included cut scenes instead of the Inquisitor going to some location like in Skyrim to do a thing come back to the quest giver saying, “I did the thing.” “Ok, good.”

7.      Unlike in Inquisition, there’s actual payoff for some of the quests you do. I don’t mean to be mean to Inquisition, I still love the game, but remember when we were promised that you had to build your forces up in order to defend against the main threat. Yeah, you built forces to get influence points to gain perks, and that’s it.

In Andromeda, while, yes. It’s not the same level as Mass Effect 2. When you actually complete quests and help out leaders, you can get different results during the final battle. Like, there’s a chance Captain Dunn may not survive.

Also, when you get 100% viability on all the planets, you get a special surprise on Habitat 7- being told that it will one day be habitable because of our efforts. Sure it was a side quest, but it just felt so rewarding!

8.      The climax was actually fulfilling and exciting. Again, something else Inquisition was lacking in. Seriously, when I first played Andromeda, I legit gasped when the archon was taking control of SAM node. The villain was actually living up to his threatening nature!

Just when we think we got everything under control, and are about to find Meridian, the Archon fucks shit up, and our sibling has to step up to save the day. Then we have to gather people we helped out and prepare for a final battle, and Ryder can finally prove themselves as a true Pathfinder and kick the Archon’s ass once and for all. People are saying the ending was as disappointing as ME3’s? Pfft…What are you even talking about?

9.      The angara. Bioware never fails to make me love an entire fictional species. Yeah, it feels a bit off that they pretty much have the same faces and the same 3 voice actors, but I really do love their culture. And I appreciate that they were clearly coded as POC while Andromeda didn’t go through with the whole Mighty Whitey Trope. The game wants you to respect their culture and to respect their home.

I love the angaran people are open about their feelings, I love how their religion believes in reincarnation, I love how we see angaran scientists, soldiers, merchants, mercenaries, and civilians. Also Aya and Hivraal are absolutely gorgeous!

And when Jaal finds out his people were created by the Kett, I was worried it was going to go the Dalish elves route, but Jaal points out that it doesn’t change anything about the angara. They are still their own people. And that was such an uplifting message.

10.  The overall light-hearted tone. I wrote a small post that got a good number of notes. (Probably the biggest number I’ve ever gotten), so to quote: “There was always this sense of hope and optimism about finding a new home. ‘Yeah, things may have gone totally wrong, but that doesn’t mean we can’t make them better’ was the overall message I got.

And really, with so many bad things happening in the world right now and too much of our entertainment supposedly being our escapism being dark for the sake of dark, this was something I think a lot of us needed.”

Mass Effect 3 had its light-hearted moments, and I love it, but man, that game was emotional draining.

It’s a bit discouraging to love something so much and get recommended videos on youtube pointing out the same flaws of that certain game, and why they thought it was a huge disappointment. Do I agree with some of their criticisms? Sure. Does the history behind the production explain the flaws? Oh absolutely.

           But people seem to forget that the original Mass Effect trilogy wasn’t without its flaws. I mean, sure everyone can agree on the Mass Effect 3 ending, but I could make a list of all the issues I have with the other Bioware games including Dragon Age: Inquisition (which despite winning Game of the Year, kind of suffers the same problems Andromeda had).

           So yeah, after the crap year of 2016, I was so excited to get a newly-released game that made me happy. And still makes me happy, and makes me in the mood to play another Ryder.

2

Something New, Something Old

A belated Kuroken Day collaboration​ ~
Story by @nimbus-cloud
Art by @mookie000

Fic continues under the read more

Kuroo Tomoko was a confident woman; not completely lacking in humility as the word ‘pride’ might suggest, no, she was confident.  She had faith in her abilities (and her son’s, whatever she might say), and she held her observational skills in high regard.  It was how she had known her son’s sexuality long before he finally outed himself and how she knew now that Kenma was nervous standing in front of her. 

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Sweet Gesture

Summary: Dean gets jealous when you go on a date and he tries to sabotage it.

Drabble Prompt: “Who the hell bought you flowers?”  

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Requested by: @tardis-full-of-fallen-angels


You’re half asleep, glaring at the clock as you shovel cinnamon oatmeal into your mouth. The grumpiness you’re feeling is still going strong, even though you’ve already consumed two cups of coffee.

The distant whistling from your roommate is getting closer as he pads down the hallway. Dean throws you a sleepy smile as he enters the kitchen and then pours himself a glass of OJ.

“Who the hell bought you flowers?” He gestures to the blue vase sitting on the kitchen counter, his cute face now contorted into a frown.

“Ryan.” You let out a disappointed sigh, instantly feeling shitty about it because he’s a nice guy. Unfortunately you hate the kind of flower that he picked but it’s the thought that counts. Right?

“He’s a dumb ass. You don’t even like those.” Dean scoffs back, fighting the urge to shove your flowers down into the garbage disposal.

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i love you. god i love you. you are literally this person i never imagined that i would get to meet. you are so wonderful i can’t even express it in words and sometimes that’s a bit frustrating but i think it’s pretty rad that you go far beyond words. you can’t be explained in just a few sentences and metaphors strung together. but you are this lovely human that i get to know and i am so grateful for that. you are so effortlessly kind and compassionate and strong willed. oh god. how could anyone not fall in love with you the moment they meet you? i have no idea how anyone could feel anything but pure happiness around you. you know how people have that one person they want to call whenever they get news? or when they’re having a bad day and there’s that one person who makes it feel so much more weightless? or that person that you can’t even believe you came across in this lifetime but you’re so incredibly happy that you did? that’s you. you’re that person for me. you make me smile until my cheeks hurt. you make my heart beat so fast. you give me so many butterflies, i feel like a little kid with this big silly crush on a boy. i love you so much my heart cannot even contain it. just being around you is the greatest thing. whether we sit there and talk about whatever is on our hearts, whether we sit in complete silence, whether we just listen to the music playing - everything is so much more beautiful when i’m with you. i want to see the world with your hand in mine. i want to go to art museums in different cities. i want to go to concerts. i want to go on road trips with no destination. i want to stay up to watch the sunset, and then stay up even later to catch the sunrise. but i also want to lay in bed all day with you. i want to watch your favourite movies. i want to lay there on your chest and just listen to you sing. i have never had someone in my life who i wanted to really explore or do life with until i met you. this feels like what a first love is supposed to feel like. new and exciting, not toxicity and lies. there is so much love i don’t even know what to do with all of it. i know things aren’t always easy. i know sometimes things hurt. i know it can be scary. but it’s beautiful. it’s always beautiful. i know you’ve been hurt. so have i. you deserve the entire world and i want to give you that. i need you to know that i love you with everything i am and everything i have. i need you to know that i’m not going anywhere. you’re stuck with me. i will be here for you on good days when everything feels light and i will be here for you on bad days when everything feels dark and heavy. i’ll be here supporting you. cheering you on. through everything. i’m your number one fan and i always will be. you’re the strongest and most intelligent person i know and i’m so excited to be able to be by your side while you take on your dreams. and no matter what happens, i’ll always cheer for you. i will always love you. if the future doesn’t have us together, just know that i will look back and just smile. because you’re this special person that exists at the same time as me and i somehow got lucky to be yours. so if things don’t work out, just know that somewhere out there, there’s an alternative universe where we ended up together and that’s enough for me. and i love you. i love you i love you i love you. that will never change.
—  i’m in love with you and i don’t want to be anything else
Play with Me

Written for: Melissa’s Birthday/1000K Followers Challenge

Words: 6062

Pairing: Dean x Reader x Sam

Prompt: Reader is shy (but secretly kinky)

Warning: SMUT, Dom/Sub Relationship, Language, Minor Angst, Polyamory,

A/N: I’m pretty confident that this is the smuttiest thing I’ve ever written. I apologize for nothing. Happy Birthday Melissa and I sincerely hope you enjoy this. All errors are my own, gifs/pics found on google, and as always feedback is very much appreciated.

Summary: Dean and Sam realized a long time ago they were in love with their shy hunting partner, but never thought they’d ever had a chance. Needless to say, a random accident leads the boys to a shocking truth about her and hopes that just maybe they’ll stand a chance with her after all.

Masterlist

        Sam wondered down the hallway to your room looking for your laptop. He was in desperate need of a new one but since you were away on one of your weekend excursions he figured he could easily grab yours to finish the research he had been working on. He grabbed it heading back to the library as Dean brought out the lunch he’d been making for them.

     “Isn’t that Y/N’s laptop?” Dean asked as he took a bite out of his burger. “Sure she’d be okay with that?”

     “Yeah she’s let me use it before and I’m nearly finished.”

     “Awesome. Have you heard from her?”

     “Not since we talked to her last night,” Sam offered. “You know she’ll be back tomorrow with some weird story and ply you with pie and that’ll be it. Stop worrying.”

     “I can’t help it, Sammy. You know how she is. I mean to be a hunter she’s the shyest person I know. I worry,” Dean shrugs as Sam smiles at his brother.

     “I know what you mean Dean, but she lives with two guys she’s probably just visiting friends or something. Hell maybe she has a significant other I mean we’ve never seen her hook up with anyone before,” Sam trailed off when he thought about Y/N with someone and he could see that Dean agreed. Dean and Sam had several conversations once they realized they both had feelings for you. Although they ultimately decided that neither would pursue you unless you showed an interest, they knew you probably never would. Dean admired how strong you were despite your timid nature and Sam had this desire to protect you from the world.

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nell411  asked:

I don't remember which blog you posted about this on, but on one of your blogs you mentioned a theory that it was actually Jeremiah that encouraged Kara to hide her powers and act normal not Eliza. Having just finished season 1 again, seeing the references to the past and what I remember of season 2, since I've only rewatched the first 2 episodes so far, I can totally see how that would make sense and if you ever post the details of that theory I would read the shit out it.

I think I mentioned it here at some point? Maybe. I have talked about it with @ultranos​ and with @motorcyclegirlfriends​ a couple of times.

It’s not really a *theory* in that I think it is the One True Way to read the family dynamics, it’s just … an interpretation of canon that nobody’s really considered that is both interesting and frighteningly easy to spin into a plausible headcanon.


The starting point is Alex.

Namely, it’s the fact that Alex is not a reliable narrator when it comes to any member of her immediate family.

She admits repeatedly in S1 that her own insecurities and jealousy toward Kara colored her perception of their relationship for years. She spent the better part of a decade inaccurately reading her relationship with Eliza, again because her insecurities clouded her judgment.

So, if Alex wasn’t seeing Kara or Eliza clearly for all those years, why should we expect her assessment of Jeremiah to be accurate, either?

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anonymous asked:

It irks me when people say that Dany is nothing without her dragons. GRRM described her as a warrior Queen some years ago. He compared her to Nymeria the warrior queen from Dorne. I can't find the source but I do remember reading it. I wonder how Martin feels when people try to deminish one of his favorite characters? He must take some offense or something.

Hey anon,

I’m sure GRRM is used to it by now, but I think he probably laughs to himself when people are so off about one of his characters. 

Regarding Dany, her dragons are in a way a symbolic representation of her own power. People who say she’s nothing without her dragons don’t understand the character and quite frankly have a really shitty memory. Her dragons did not make her strong enough to survive and get the respect of Drogo, or to cross the Red Waste, or to come up with the entire plan to sack Astapor without anyone’s help, or her plan to make Yunkai put down their swords with minimum bloodshed. He dragons are not what inspires her people or keeps them loyal to her, it’s her and fight to free the slaves and to treat them like people. 

It’s funny that you mentioned Nymeria because I was discussing with a friend the many similarities Dany shares with her. GRRM has compared Dany to Nymeria (who is Dany’s ancester from her great-great-grandfathers marriage to Mariah Martell) on a couple of occasions. Here is one

In particular, given that Nymeria was a warrior-queen, is there a certain amazon tradition?

“The Rhoynar did impact Dorne in a number of ways, some of which will be revealed in later books. Women definitely have more rights in Dorne, but I would not call it an “Amazon” tradition, necessarily. Nymeria had more in common with someone like Daenerys or Joan d'Arc than with Brienne or Xena the Warrior Princess.”

I found this fantastic comparison between Dany and Nymeria, I’ll quote my favorite parts but you can find the discussion here: (The bolded are quotes from the books.)

The refugee, the nomad, the woman wearing the literal skirt and metaphorical pants

“In the songs, Nymeria is said to have been a witch and a warrior; neither of these claims is true. Though she did not bear arms in battle, she led her soldiers on many battlefields, commanding them with cunning and skill.”

Dany is doing the exact same thing. She’s a warlord that’s not a warrior. And yes, you can be a warlord with absolutely no skill at arms, else Dany wouldn’t be called Aegon the Conqueror with teats.

Now let’s skim over Nymeria’s general history as it applies to Dany so far.

“Only Princess Nymeria of Ny Sar spoke against him. “This is a war we cannot hope to win,” she warned, but the other princes shouted her down and pledged their swords to Garin.”

In AGOT, Viserys is dreaming his fool dreams about re-taking Westeros with Dothraki. Dany knows better. She’s also somewhat skeptical of the Dothraki taking Westeros from the start, mostly thanks to Jorah Mormont educating her.

“The same fate awaited her own city, she saw.”

Nymeria runs for it after Valyria massacres the Rhoyanar men.After Drogo dies, Dany hatches her invaluable dragons. She’s also left with few Dothraki, and she has to flee from various Khals (on top of her constant running from Robert).

“Nymeria’s voyage was long and terrible.”

The difficulty of the Red Waste corresponds to this.Then, Nymeria had her Odyssey: Rhoyne -> Basilisk Isles -> jungles of Sothoryos -> Isle of Naath -> Summer Isles (Isle of Women).She couldn’t stay in any of these places, because~

“(…) arrived at Yeen to find that every man, woman, and child in that haunted, ruined city had vanished overnight.”

Haunted (to the eye) ruins, like the House of the Undying?

“The sullen wet heat oppressed their spirits, and swarms of stinging flies spread one disease after another (…)”

and

“On Naath, the Isle of Butterflies, the peaceful people gave them welcome, but the god that protects that strange land began to strike down the newcomers by the score with a nameless mortal illness”

Illness, like the Bloody Flux outbreak? Also, Missandei - one of Dany’s main helpers - is a friendly girl from Naath Dany finds somewhere at the halfway point of her journey.

“Basilisk Isles (…) only to fall afoul of the corsair kings (…) carrying off hundreds into slavery.”

and

“new towns on Basilisk Point were raided by slavers,”

Well, what do you know, Dany’s slave liberation campaign isn’t working out so well. In fact, seemingly half of the slaving Essos is sending armies against her in ADWD - Yunkai, Qarth, New Ghis, Tolos, Elyria, Volantis, the Harpies within Meereen itself.

“In the Summer Isles (…) its thin stony soil yielded little food, and many starved.”

As Dany approached Meereen, the slavers put the land around it to torch to starve her out. She still took the city, but many of her people are nonetheless starving.

“The battered, tattered remainder of the ten thousand ships sailed west with Princess Nymeria. This time she made for Westeros.”

Dany at the end of ADWD:

“Meereen was not her home, and never would be. It was a city of strange men with strange gods and stranger hair, of slavers wrapped in fringed tokars, where grace was earned through whoring, butchery was art, and dog was a delicacy. Meereen would always be the Harpy’s city, and Daenerys could not be a harpy.

Never, said the grass, in the gruff tones of Jorah Mormont. You were warned, Your Grace. Let this city be, I said. Your war is in Westeros, I told you.”

The once and future queen

Back to Nymeria and why I think Dany will do well in Westeros~

“Dry, desolate, and thinly peopled, Dorne at this time was a poor land where a score of quarrelsome lords and petty kings warred endlessly over every river, stream, well, and scrap of fertile land.”

Wet, desolate and overflowing with corpses, at the end of ADWD Westeros is a fucked-up continent where a score of quarrelsome lords and petty kings war endlessly over everything. Euron, Tommen, Aegon, Stannis, KINGINDANORF? are just the Kings we have. (Does the Night King count?)

“Most of these Dornish lords viewed the Rhoynar as unwelcome interlopers, invaders with queer foreign ways and strange gods, who should be driven back into the sea whence they’d come.”

Yeah, Dany will have barbarians, slaves (you think Westerosi can notice they have no collars?), the infamous Imp, dragons, a trail of burning enemies behind her. She won’t get warm reception from most.

And they lived happily ever after

Well, probably not. I don’t see how GRRM will keep Dany on Nymeria’s track without breaking his tone.

“Though she married twice more (first to the aged Lord Uller of Hellholt, and later to the dashing Ser Davos Dayne of Starfall, the Sword of the Morning), Nymeria herself remained the unquestioned ruler of Dorne for almost twenty-seven years, her husbands serving only as counselors and consorts.”

I suppose that in a certain way, Mors can also work as Drogo, old Lord Uller as lame King Hizdahr, and the Sword of the Morning as… Jon NOT DARKSTAR, because I refuse to contemplate the possibility of Darkstar (she already did Bad Boy Daario). The husbands as consorts works for Hizadhr, and whomever her prophesized 3rd husband is, Dany will be leading in her own right - Drogon, Dracarys! helps there.

“She survived a dozen attempts upon her life, put down two rebellions, and threw back two invasions by the Storm King Durran the Third and one by King Greydon of the Reach.”

Dany already survived at least 4-5 attempts on her life - AGOT wineseller, ACOK manticore and arguably Undying, ASOS Titan’s Bastard, ADWD Poizdar do Loqust. I also don’t see Stannis bending to Dany, same for Tyrells who’ll stay with Tommen Lannister. Other possibilities for revolting kingdoms are Dorne (the irony!) and Iron Islands.

That was pretty awesome, there are more quote at the link if you want to read all the parallels between these awesome women. 

I will add one thing regarding Nymeria’s 3 husbands vs. Dany’s 3 husbands.

Nymeria’s first husband (Mors Martell) came from a people who are famed for their horses (Dorne), Dany’s first husband came from a people famed for their horses (Dothraki). 

Nymeria’s second husband came from Hellholt (Lord Uller), which is symbolized by a sort of fiery yin-yang thing, it’s half this and half that, it’s divided basically. Dany’s second husband was symbolized by the Harpy, half woman, and half bird. 

Finally, Nymeria’s third and final husband was Ser Davos Dayne the Sword of the Morning, I do wonder if the Sword of the Morning will play a role in the books as it has been mentioned a lot. And whether Jon will use it or not. Jon does have a connection to an actual Sword of the Morning in Author Dayne. And of course, there is the whole War for Dawn thing going one. 

Sorry, I hijacked your asked but yeah, Dany doesn’t need to wield a sword to be kickass, just look at her very kickass ancestor Nymeris. 

TTFN

anonymous asked:

Do you want to share a list of fics that have made you cry? I'm in need of them. Thank you!

Oh anon, I love you. Thank you for giving me something to do. LOL! YES! I would LOVE to. I’m going to preface this with the fact that I cry VERY easily and for many reasons, but I don’t do well with SUPER heavy angsty fics (like the brain cancer fic) so, read this list with that in mind. And read the tags, just in case!

Fics That Made Me Cry

like a bastard on the burning sea by vashtaneradas

au; harry breaks louis, louis breaks everything.

the impossible now by stylinsoncity / @alienproof

A wish on Christmas Eve sends Louis to an alternate dimension where Harry is a member of One Direction.

Take My Breath Away by @realitybetterthanfiction

There is a prestigious school in the British Royal Navy classified as Premier Delta - or as it is known by its flyers, 1D. These select pilots are an elite set of Naval lieutenants who are trained in the skill of aggressive aerial combat. They are instruments of war, trained in times of peace. They are dogfighters, relentless and fearless in their mission to protect their beloved country. From their lofty vantage, they are always watching, waiting, and ready to lay it all on the line.

Lt. Harry Styles, call sign Sparrow, is a prodigy when it comes to flying. The owner of an unrivaled Naval pedigree, being a pilot was always written in the stars for Harry. With his trusty RIO, Lt. Niall Horan, Harry has made an unprecedented ascension in the ranks of the Naval aerial combat elite, and has been recruited to the esteemed Premier Delta flight school, carrying on his family’s legacy. What he finds there are unexpected friendships, perilous challenges, and something beyond what he ever thought possible. Because as his father had always told him, before the great Captain Styles went tragically missing in combat, you don’t fall in love with the sky, you fall in love with what keeps you on the ground.

No One Does It Better by nodibs

Harry’s an alcoholic and Louis is a bartender. The first time they meet isn’t the first time they’ve met.

Tug-of-War by @cherrystreet

Louis’ husband dies suddenly and he is left with nothing. Well, not really nothing. He has Harry. And a St. Bernard puppy named Link, whom his late husband left behind for him. Louis takes care of Link and Harry takes care of Louis. Everything is okay until suddenly, it isn’t.

a grocery list pinned to blue by dangerbears

AU. after eight years, louis finally has everything he’s wanted. except for harry.

finding you was so hard (but loving you is easy) by togetherwecouldbealright

An incredibly shameless vampire!AU filled with stupid jokes, endless dates, flappy bird, a bro man dude pal sleepover thing and there also might be some sex in strange places.

Also known as the one where everyone is a vampire, Louis is oblivious and somewhere along the way it becomes a bit too much like Twilight.

Then a string of thoughts make themselves clear in Louis’ head. First, Harry is a vampire. Second, Louis is a dumbass. Third, Louis is also unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him. Fourth, he’s pretty sure he just quoted the back of the Twilight book.

I’ll Crash Until You Notice Me by stylinsoncity / @alienproof

Louis sets off to Barbados to oversee the massive resort his family owns known as Sandy Hill. For years, he’s been looking for a change in the monotony of his life, seeking adventure and perhaps love too. What he doesn’t expect is the bright eyed boy who spills a milkshake on his shoes.

Cue the summer loving.

Your Name is Tattooed On My Heart by mcpofife

Louis is ready to find the love of his life, but first he has to stop falling for the punk rocker next door.

210 Days by @cherrystreet

Harry is in the army and Louis is back in New York. Together, they get through Harry’s six month leave by sending a series of letters back and forth. They’ve done it before, and they can do it again.

And down the long and silent street by @whimsicule

The year is 1881 and if you’re alone in this world you might as well be dead, because starving dogs have no mercy.

Or: Wherein Louis and Harry are on the opposite ends of the social ladder, but their paths still cross on the filthy streets Louis calls his home. The odds are staked against them from the beginning, and even more when Louis’ past finally catches up with him.

Save your loving arms for a rainy day by BriaMaria / @briannamarguerite

“What’s got your panties in a twist, then, pop star?” the man finally asked, his gaze returning to Louis’ face.

Something pressed against Louis’ chest and for a moment Louis let himself wonder what it would be like to let all his secret spill out. To fall into the space between them and be devoured by this stranger. Terror mingled with bliss, tangling into a sharp throb he had to swallow hard against.

“Absolutely nothing,” Louis said instead. “Happy days, yeah?”

The man clicked his tongue once, a disappointed, wet tetch that Louis felt. Actually felt.

“My mistake.”

Louis turned desperate eyes on him, blinking too fast. He could see his own lashes flutter. “I’m living the dream, mate” he said and even he could hear the way his voice cracked along the edges. “What would I have to be upset about?”

Or the one where Louis is a pop star who has lost his voice and Harry helps him find it.

Finding Lou by stylinsoncity / @alienproof

Louis is the nomadic stranger who wanders into Harry’s bookstore. Harry is the skeptic who falls for him.

things have gotten closer to the sun by starseas

it’s strange, making the choice to face his past—it almost feels like he’s heading for the sun straight on, like he’s screaming come on and burn me, i deserve it.

-

when a solar flare is announced to end the world in twelve days, harry reunites with the people that he used to know better than the back of his own hand.

Gods & Monsters by velvetoscar / @mizzwilde

The instructions were simple: seduce and destroy Harry Styles. Not once did they discuss the option of Louis actually falling in love. So, naturally, that’s exactly what he did.

I really want to include Where Your Heart Is, because it’s one of my favorite fics, but it’s been deleted. I haven’t read Fire for A Heart because it’s TOO much for me to read MCD, but I’m sure it would make you cry. It’s also been deleted, but if anyone wants either of them, you can download them from here

Alec and his 'biphobia'

I’m writing this essay because I’ve seen countless amounts of people (whether they’ve read the books or not) accuse Alec of being biphobic in City of Fallen Angels. I say City of Fallen Angels because there are no other incidents in these books that could be confused with biphobia. 

While I was reading through this particular passage myself, I found Alec to be rude and crass—not unusual for an 18 year old—but I didn’t really understand why people accused him of being a biphobe. I was reading this book over and over to try and gain some insight into this fact, and it hit me why I found this so weird, because 

a) I don’t think Magnus would stay with someone that despises bisexual people, regardless of how much he loves Alec, and 

b) the supposed biphobia comes out of nowhere, the disappears into nowhere.* 

But I still didn’t understand why Alec would say these particular things, when it clicked. 

Before you all riot and accuse me of being biphobic myself—an impossible feat, I assure you—or just making excuses for Alec, I just want to lay out the scene before I get into the analysis. 

Magnus and Alec have been away for a 7 week romantic vacation for half the book, so we don’t really know what went on or what happened between them in this space of time.** According to the book itself, they have just come from Vienna and an opera that they were supposed to see together, when Magnus gets a text message/fire message/call or whatever from the Institute or Conclave, that Camille, a rouge vampire, has been captured and is being held in the Sanctuary, and will only speak to Magnus. We don’t know whether he knows then that she’ll only speak to him, or he finds out later on, when Mayrse explains it to him. Regardless, he knows that Camille is being held in the Institute, and whisks back home with Alec immediately. Magnus, of course, knows who Camille is, and understands why she won’t talk to anyone else. Alec, on the other hand, doesn’t know who this random vampire is until Magnus says it himself, all the way back in the Sanctuary. To Alec, it seems as if Magnus has cut short their vacation together to interrogate a random vampire.

 (A quick note before I start explaining everything—I’m not going against Magnus in any way, I’m just trying to explain what this must have looked like on Alec’s behalf.

Before Magnus and Alec started dating openly, they most likely didn’t talk about anything to do with Magnus’s past, merely because they didn’t have to time on their short dates, or because Magnus narrowly avoided the topic, and Alec, who hasn’t dated anyone before and doesn’t know how it works, is none the wiser. However, on their 7 week vacation, in which they spend every moment with each other, Magnus can’t really avoid talking about his past sneakily, and Alec is bound to have noticed something off about this, but probably doesn’t comment, because a) we know he bottles things up— as seen in CoLS—and b) he probably doesn’t want to fight during their vacation. Also, in Alec’s own words, (CoLS), Magnus is good at changing topics and avoiding them. Alec most likely has frustration mounting with Magnus, as he won’t tell Alec anything about himself, but of course, like Alec always does, he keeps this all corked up until the bottle explodes. 

I’m not condoning these actions, and Alec and Magnus should have both definitely talked about their problems together, but they don’t. And that’s the whole point of the next book, and the break up. Their relationship is meant to have problems. That’s the plot line of the second half of TMI. The whole point of this is that they talk everything over with each other, and become more trusting of one another, and become a healthy couple again.

Back to my original point, Alec doesn’t know why Magnus has cut their vacation short, as he says himself—“I really don’t see what any of this has to do with us,” Alec said. “So you caught a vampire who was up to something nasty. Aren’t they always?”—so when he finds out that Magnus has cut their time together short because of his ex-girlfriend and wanting to talk to her, he’s understandably upset, after all the avoiding of this topic. Also, before the rest find out what Camille has to do with Magnus, a ‘sort of energy crackles in between them’ when they first make direct eye contact—which everyone in the room notices—and Magnus gives a ‘wistful smile’ towards Camille, which also doesn’t go unnoticed by anyone. Magnus then reveals that Camille was his girlfriend, blah blah blah, and everyone is astonished, including Alec. 

Magnus then says ’I’ve been alive for hundreds of years. I’ve been with men, been with women—with faeries and with vampires, even a djinn or two.” Judging by the way Alec reacts, this is probably the most he’s heard about Magnus’s past relationships—and it’s in a public setting, with Magnus’s ex, Simon, and Alec’s mother, who looks ’mildly horrified’ after Magnus says this. Not very good for the bottle (the metaphor for Alec’s feelings). 

 Magnus and Alec then have a conversation about this, which again, is probably the most Alec has heard of this topic, and wants answers desperately.

 “How many other people?” Alec asked. “Roughly.” 


Magnus shook his head. “I can’t count, and it doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is how I feel about you.”


“More than a hundred?” Alec asked. Magnus looked blank. “Two hundred?”


“I can’t believe we’re having this conversation now,” Magnus said to no one in particular. 

Simon was inclined to agree, and wished they weren’t having it in front of him. 
“Why so many?” Alec’s blue eyes were very bright in the dimness. Simon couldn’t tell if he was angry. He didn’t sound angry, just very intense, but Alec was a shut-down person, and perhaps this was as angry as he ever got. “Do you get bored with people fast?”


“I live forever,” Magnus said quietly. “But not everyone does.” 
Alec looked as if someone had hit him. “So you just stay with them as long as they live, and then you find someone else?” - City of Fallen Angels. 

 Now, when reading this particular excerpt, it’s very important to remember:


a) Alec is an 18 year old Shadowhunter that has no concept of living forever, and has no insight into the topic of immortality. 


b) Again, this is probably the most Magnus has ever said on the topic of his immortality and his relationships, and he’s only saying it now because the topic can’t be avoided now, as they’re in a room with Magnus’s ex.  

Alec was behaving a little rude and invasive, but that’s kind of the way he is. He’s an canonically honest and blunt character, and hiding things doesn’t really sit well with him at all. We saw how he was when he was hiding his secret from everyone, and to quote Clary Fairchild: 

“[Alec] was a jerk [when I first met him], but he wasn’t a jerk because he was a bad guy. He was a jerk because he was unhappy, and he felt like he had to pretend to be someone he wasn’t”. 

Obviously, secrecy doesn’t sit well with him, so Magnus hiding all these things from him will understandably make him more than a little mad.** 

The scene then changes to Jace and Clary, and then back to Camille and Magnus. While we know—the readers and the people in the conversation that takes place—that Magnus loves Alec for who he is etc etc—Alec doesn’t. We can see the facial expressions written on the page, and the tone of the way things are said. However. Alec has been listening outside the door to this entire conversation, judging by the way he acts afterwards, and things he says afterwards, and listening to Camille has obviously struck a bad chord with him. (Camille is a ‘master of manipulation’, remember?) The way Alec acts at the engagement party is because of a few things in this conversation. I’m going to list some quotes, but hopefully I won’t need to spell out how these words felt to Alec, without hearing the way things are said properly, or seeing either Magnus or Camille’s face. I’m going to bold some sentences that may have affected Alec in a particular way.

“I’ve missed you, Magnus,” she said. 

 “I have heard things about you Magnus, I have heard that you are under the wing of the Shadowhunters these days. I had heard that you have won the love of one of them. That boy you were just talking to, I imagine. But then your tastes were always diverse.” 

“But we had all of eternity,” she protested. “You must have known I would come back to you—” 

“If you want me to speak for them to you,” Magnus said, “you have to tell me at least some small thing. A show of good faith.” 
She smiled brilliantly. “I knew you would speak to them for me, Magnus. I knew the past was not entirely dead for you.”
“Consider it undead if you like,” Magnus said. 

 “…[she murmured, her eyes half-lidded] Come here, Magnus. Come close to me.” [Magnus stands ‘close enough to touch her’] Remember, Remember London? The parties at de Quincey’s? Remember Will Herondale? I know you do. That boy of yours, that Lightwood. They even look alike.” “Do they?” Magnus said, as if he had never thought about it. 
“Pretty boys have always been your undoing,” she said. “But what can some mortal child give you? Ten years, twenty, before Dissolution begins to claim him. Forty years, fifty, before death takes him. I can give you all of eternity.” 

 (I know Magnus says something that kinda contradicts what she has said about Alec, but it doesn’t matter. Camille, master of manipulation, has planted the seed in Alec’s mind that will grow. — this is also shown in CoLS. And I realise this was murmured, but Alec has clearly heard it, due to what he says later, so he must have activated his listening rune.) 

 “The Institute door opened, and Mayrse stood in the doorway, outlines by the witchlight behind her. Beside her was Alec, his arms crosed over his chest. Magnus wondered if Alec had heard any of the conversation between him and Camille through the door—surely not?”

And also we have to take in the fact that when Mayrse and Alec opened the door, Magnus was sitting very close to Camille, with his hand on her cheek.

So we can sum up this conversation with:


a) Camille and her words have gotten under Alec’s skin
, 

b) He’s now starting to doubt himself and his relationship with Magnus—a factor in his lashing out later on 


c) Magnus still hasn’t explained to Alec any of this clearly, which is making him feel confused about a lot of things. 

 And so we get to the engagement party, where Alec and Magnus fight. This is the part with the supposed biphobic remark. There are no other instances where Alec’s words can be confused with biphobia. Alec is clearly upset, by his body language, “Alec, his arms crossed over his chest, was staring ferociously into the distance.” There’s then a long pause, and Magnus asks Jordan about his Praetor Lupus badge, and talks about someone from his past openly, something that he probably shouldn’t have done, in the state that Alec was in. Alec then asks, “Did you sleep with him too?” In an obviously rude way. 

This isn’t right at all, and Alec shouldn’t have bottled up all his emotions until they exploded like this, but that’s the part of his character that gets developed over time, so he’s not like this anymore. 

 I’m not condoning what Alec has just said at all, I think it was crass and embarrassing, but it wasn’t biphobia. He’s hurt about the whole Camille discussion from earlier, and the fact that Magnus hasn’t told him anything from his past, and everything else, so he makes a rude and hurtful remark. He’s bottled up all these emotions all this time that we’re threatening to spill over, and now they’ve exploded in an ugly way.

 Alec then says—when Magnus reacts—“Well, I don’t know anything about your past, do I? You won’t tell me anything, you just say it doesn’t matter.” A point worth noting for readers.

 Right. Before I get into this bit, I want to make something very clear. I don’t believe Alec was biphobic in the books, and I understand that a few of the things he said here do cross over with biphobic micro-aggressions, but it had nothing to do with the fact that Magnus was bi. It had everything to do with the fact that he knew nothing of Magnus’s romantic past. He makes these remarks with that in mind, not the fact that he hates Magnus because he secretly hates bi people.*** 

 This particular post caught my eye one day, and it really explains my feelings on this matter.

 It reads: “Alec’s actions towards the Magnus/Camille thing never came about from “biphobia”. It came from insecurity which Alec was in the right to have. It has nothing to do with the fact that Magnus was bi, it had to do with the whole fact that Alec knew next to nothing about Magnus’s romantic past. Something that Camille took advantage of and preyed on Alec. Alec made a mistake, but guess what he learned from it, Magnus forgave him and that was that.” 

 Moving onto what Alec actually says: I’ve taken a photograph of the page so you guys don’t accuse me of lying or whatever, and so you can have the full context. 

Read ahead, bearing all what I’ve said above in mind. 

 As I said before, if you take it out of context, it sounds as if Alec is being biphobic. So if you haven’t read the books (i have no idea why you’re blatantly accusing things if you haven’t read them) PLEASE READ THIS! IF YOU TAKE IT OUT OF CONTEXT, IT SOUNDS AS IF ALEC IS BEING BIPHOBIC, BUT HE IS NOT.**** HE’S MAKING A DIG AT THE FACT THAT MAGNUS HAS TOLD HIM NOTHING OF HIS ROMANTIC PAST, AND THAT CAMILLE HAS JUST TURNED UP. 

 He was also making an indirect comment about Camille; “Or there are plenty of pretty girls here[…]” Alec has noticed that Camille is quite beautiful, (insert quote here) and the way she and Magnus were acting before most likely made him feel uncomfortable. 

 A later conversation shows that Alec was lashing out because he felt trivial, and he didn’t like thinking Magnus was ‘only with me because I look like some dead guy you like.’ Obviously the conversation upset him, because of the topic of him and looking like Will and the over-exaggeration that Camille made suggesting that Magnus had a more intimate relationship with Will, (which Magnus doesn’t deny, even at this point, which was a bit of a mistake.) 

 Magnus says here: “And yes, [Will] did look like you, but you’re not anything like him. Jace is much more the way Will was, in personality at least—and my relationship with you is nothing like the one I had with Will.” The only problem here is, Magnus isn’t being specific.**** ’My relationship with you is nothing like the one I had with Will,“ that could mean anything to Alec, who knows nothing about his relationship with Will, other than what Camille implied. It could mean Magnus was together with Will, but he didn’t love him as much as Alec, it could mean that Magnus’s relationship with Will was more significant, Alec doesn’t know. 

They then say this: 

 In which Magnus is still skirting around the subject, and this is obviously playing into Alec’s doubts. They then talk about immortality, which is a master post for another day, but the point is, Alec still hasn’t gotten a straight answer.

It’s mentioned later that Alec is ’still sunk in a gloom about Magnus’ etc etc, and he comes across Camille when he’s separated from Magnus and gone to rescue Simon. 

 Alec is still insecure about what Camille said, so he thinks stuff like; 

The last thing he wanted was to look like a fool in front of Magnus’s ex-girlfriend,“ 

 ”She was very beautiful.” (connecting to my point about the ‘pretty girl’ thing that Alec said to Magnus earlier) 

Alec wondered if she had once looked at Magnus like this.“ 

 And then he asks about Will, ’The words came out abruptly, unexpectedly, and much to his horror’ and Camille plays on his doubts. 

(This leads onto the next book, which I may discuss on another day, but not now.) 

 Then Alec has a discussion with Magnus, later when he’s out of danger. Alec tries to bring the subject up again, and then Magnus finally addresses it, but he says things in a vague way that don’t really help events into the next book, and then they kiss and that’s the end of their input in this book. 

 This leads onto CoLS and the whole immortality thing and whatnot, but the point is that they didn’t really confront their fears, Alec didn’t really mention his doubts and insecurities, Magnus didn’t say anything more about his past, and this is obviously unhealthy, and leads to problems in the next book. But the relationship isn’t supposed to be perfect. It’s meant have problems. The whole point of these two problems in the books was that then Magnus and Alec spend time apart, Magnus realises that he’s fucked up and made the relationship not so good, Alec realises that he fucked up and made the relationship not so good, then they finally talk properly at the end of CoHF and lead a happy, healthy relationship after that, and tell each other everything. 

They learnt. They made mistakes, and learnt from them, and developed their characters and relationship.

 tl;dr, Alec’s a jealous, insecure guy, Alec bottled things up and eventually lashed out, Magnus should’ve reassured him and told him more, Alec wasn’t biphobic.

At least, that’s the impression that I and many others got. If you have a different view, please feel free to tell me! (If it’s backed up by support and quotes from the books you’ve obviously read lol

* This was what really got me thinking. Alec hadn’t shown any problems with Magnus being bi before or after this book, so why would he become suddenly biphobic for a day?

** Of course, we’ll learn so much more about why Magnus didn’t tell Alec and Alec’s suspicions on their vacations in LBW, so I may come back to this later.

*** Like i said before, I think Magnus would have definitely either left Alec before they got very romantically entangled, or at least sat down and talked to him, if Alec was actually biphobic. 

**** Honesty, it makes me really sad to see people hate on the books when 

a) they haven’t read them

b) they take things completely out of context. 

***** Again, I’M NOT HATING ON MAGNUS. I’M TRYING TO GET PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND WHY ALEC THOUGHT/DID WHAT HE DID, AND TO GET PEOPLE TO SEE THINGS FROM HIS POV. 

One Rule | stripper!jennie | M

Originally posted by zelosgf

Summary: “You have one rule, no touching allowed.”

Word Count: 9,951

When your friend had told you to let loose, you figured she meant for you to take a week off of work, go outside and soak up Vitamin D, maybe have one more drink than you usually did at the bar.

You did not, however, think that she meant anything remotely close to a strip club.

Keep reading

When I was 5, I sat on the edge of my chair with my legs spread. I felt an itch between them, so I reached down to scratch, but my grandma grabbed my wrist to stop me and hissed: “Girls don’t do that!” I asked her why, because I had seen my father doing it, I had seen all the boys in primary school doing it, too. And it itched and I wanted to scratch it. Her answer was: “It’s just how it is. Girls don’t do that. Also, don’t sit there with your legs spread like that. Girls don’t do that, either.”

When I was 6, I spent a day on the beach with my family. I was excited about the new bikini my mum got me, but confused as to why she asked me to keep the top on when I went for a swim. She hadn’t made me wear it the years before, but suddenly, she was very fussy about it. “Look, I’ve got one on, too.”, she said to me. And I thought I understood: Women had to cover their breasts, because they were bigger than mens’. But I wasn’t a woman. I was a child. Later, I overheard a talk she had with my dad. “I don’t want old men to stare at her.”, she whispered. I interrupted them and asked her why she thought old men would look at me. Her answer was: “It’s just how it is. It’s because you’re a girl. And men do that.”

When I was 9, I got in a fight with my best friend. I went home and complained about it to my grandma, who lived with us. She told me I should have seen it coming. “That’s how girls are.”, she said. “A friendship between girls is always also a competition. Girls are jealous, manipulative and backstabbing. You can’t trust them.” But I had never fought with my best friend before and I knew we’d forgive and forget the next day, anyway. So, I asked my grandma why, and her answer was: “It’s just how it is. Catfights will happen. It’s normal. That’s how girls are.”

When I was 13, I fell in love with a boy from the neighbourhood. I couldn’t hide my excitement. He was on my mind all the time and I caught myself wishing we were together, so I could hold his hand and kiss him, too. I wanted to meet him, get to know him better, and I told my dad about my plan of asking him out. “Don’t do that.”, my dad said. “It’s not appropriate for a girl to ask a boy out.” Though I partly agreed, since I had never seen a woman proposing to the man in a movie, or read about a girl kissing her crush first, I still didn’t understand what would be so bad about being an exception, so I asked my dad why I had to wait for a boy to show interest in me in order to be allowed to openly requite it. His answer was: “It’s just how it is, darling. The man makes the first move. It’s always been this way. Boys like to conquer, and girls love being chased.”

When I was 17, I was part of a large group of friends. There was a boy who fancied me. I didn’t like him back, but I wasn’t used to anyone crushing on me, so I enjoyed the attention. He’d always tell me I was special. One of a kind. Different. “You’re not like other girls.”, he said. “You’re not a bitch. You’re funny, laid back, intelligent. You don’t just care about your nails or your hair. You get my sense of humour. You’re not like most girls. You’re my best guy friend. But with tits.” I was flattered in the beginning, but soon, I started to wonder if his compliments were any at all. I began to feel disgusted with him. I didn’t want to be his best guy friend with tits. So I asked him what’s so good about a girl like me, a girl unlike what he called a typical one, and his answer was: “That’s easy to explain. A pretty model type of girl is good enough to jack off to, but in the end, a guy wants some drama free pussy. You’re an exception. The majority of girls is superficial and slutty. The kind of girl you fuck, but dump when you’re ready to settle down. Or they’re just plain boring and prude. This sounds harsh, but it’s just how it is.”

When I was 19, there was a boy I regularly had sex with. It was nice. Not the breathtaking kind of passionate, ecstatic fucking I had dreamed of; maybe we lacked chemistry, maybe it would have been nicer if we had been in love; but I was alright with it. I adapted, obeyed and swallowed. Of course I did. In the beginning, he really put an effort in giving me what I gave him. He really tried. But his attempts at putting his tongue to good work quickly faded into halfheartedly rubbing me dry and at some point, he said: “I’m giving up.” I asked him why. His answer was: “It’s so hard to get a girl off. You women need ages to cum. It’s so exhausting.” I laughed and told him I needed about two minutes when I did it on my own. “Then stick to that.”, he said. “I’ve got a cramp in my wrist. Women are so complicated. It’s just how it is. I’m sorry.”

I am 20 now, and I’ve come to realize that my female identity has been shaped by a biased, hypocritical excuse based on ridiculous gender roles: “It’s just how it is.” All my life, I have asked them why, and all they said was “It’s just how it is.” And it didn’t matter whether I’ve asked men or women. Internalized misogyny is just as harmful. There were as many women as men who said: “It’s just how it is.” But that is not the answer I wanted. Not the answer I needed. These few words don’t fucking answer the countless questions concerning my gender identity.

Why can’t I sit with my legs spread? What’s so shameful about what I keep between them? Why must I cover my breasts? Why am I being sexualized long before I’m even told when sex is? Why am I being taught to mistrust other girls? Why do I have to compete with other girls? Why am I only a good girl when I’m not like most girls? Why do I have to keep quiet about the way I feel? Why am I not allowed to show affection like men do? Can’t I conquer a boy’s heart, too? Why must love be about conquering, anyway? What if I don’t like being chased? What if it scares me? Why do boys scare me, anyway? Why do you make me feel inferior to them? And why do I have to like a boy in order to be liked? Why am I being shamed for being a “slut”, them shamed for being “prude”? Why am I expected to adapt, obey and swallow without praise when boys who return the favour are considered grateful, dedicated lovers, heroes, almost ,because to the majority of them, it’s not fucking understood that if I make them cum, they should make me cum, too? Why am I exhausting to be with? Why am I complicated?

Is it because I’m a bitch? Because I’m an oversensitive little baby? Is it because I’m a slut? A prude virgin? Is it because I’m on my period? Cause women are just crazy? Cause I am jealous, manipulative, backstabbing, competitive or any of the other countless negative traits that are immediately connected with the female identity? All summed up, is it because I’m a girl?

I’ve asked them. And they said yes.

And when I asked “But why?”, they said it again: “It’s just how it is.”

“It” is that context, is a never ending circle of resigning acceptance of the circumstance that girls are being raised to disrespect their own gender from their childhood on. I was, and am, expected to accept the fact that being female automatically makes me inferior, and that I should be thankful for being treated equally, because that’s not the standard. I was, and am, expected to appreciate and take it as a compliment when people tell me that I’m not like other women. Because I was, and am, expected to look down on women even though I am a woman myself. But I refuse. I refuse to adapt, obey and swallow. I refuse to accept that “it’s just how it is”. I refuse to take this as an answer, and I will not stop asking why. I won’t ever stop asking why. Not because I want people to give me a proper response, but because I want them to question themselves, too. I want them to start wondering. Want them to start doubting the concept of the role I’ve learned to stick to before I knew how to spell my “typically female” name. I want them to think about it, lose their sleep about it, until they ask, too: “Why?”

In order to eliminate misogynic stereotypes, we must unlearn to understand them. We must refuse to accept “It’s just how it is” as an answer, until we forget what “it” stands for. Keep asking why, until nobody knows an answer anymore. “It’s just how it is” is not an answer. Neither is “It’s cause you’re a girl”. Or “That’s how girls are”. Because girls can be everything and anything they want to be. That’s how it really is.

—  I REFUSE!, a rant on how my female identity has been shaped by excuses and lies