this proves that there are better things i could be doing with my life

These are all the books I have to read for my finals. Not only does this page makes me sad, anxious and incredibly stressed out, but also proud. Three years ago when I just started high school, I would have never done anything like this before. I was the worst at organizing things in my life and procrastinated like the idiot I was. But now it’s (kind of) changed. Just by writing down what I have to do and get even 1/3 of it done is improvement for me. I’ve never been a “bad” student but I went from an A student to A as in average. Grades shouldn’t define you, but I felt sad because I knew I could do better. That this was not my best. I had to prove for myself that I could do what seemed like impossible three years ago: study pharmacy or biosciences.

I have one month to study all these books and go through my notes before final exams, it’s going to be hard but the studyblr community has been wonderful and I love finding small things here that make me smile or relax, even if it’s just for a minute or two.

Drabble || Roman & Tiny

“Are you seriously not going to hear me out about this? It’s the least you could do since you’ve been shitty to me from day one…what? No I’m not going to calm down or apologize. You guys always treated me differently all because of who I am and who my mother is. I’m nothing like her and I thought I proved that by now but I guess not. Well sorry for bothering you with my petty news. I’m sure whatever Tina has going on is always way more important. No big deal that I found a wonderful man and we are engaged and expecting a child. You guys don’t care for my success. Only there to pretend you care when I’m at my worst so you feel better about yourself. I hope you know how hurtful this is but you know what I’m gonna move on and be happy with my life whether you guys are in it or not.”

Tiny hung up the phone and tossed it on the opposite side of the couch. The tears had been welling up in her eyes since mid conversation with her family. This was the exact reason why she spent way more time with Joe’s family rather than her own. Joe’s family showed love. They respected her and they treated her equally like she was a part of the family. With her own family, they just treated her like she was a stranger almost treating her as if she was a ticking time bomb ready to explode. Her mom was sick (mentally) and had her own issues. Her family assumed she had the same (sickness) just because she had a bad temper and attitude. There were times when Tiny was younger where she took her frustration out on others or threw things when pissed off. But that was just the way she was. No connection to her mom’s (sickness).

Tiny picked up her phone and messaged Joe. Even through her tears, she managed to get out a message for him. She hated to bother him when he was at work but she needed the comfort from him.

{Text} I love you and I miss you.

{Text} Just wanted you to know I called my folks like we had talked about and it didn’t go well at all.

{Text} I’m sitting here in tears once again after being judged, ridiculed and just treated like shit. I don’t even think they care anymore…not that they ever did.

{Text} Sorry to bother you at work…just really wish you were here to hold me and make this pain go away…

{Text} I know what you’re gonna say. This stress isn’t good for the baby, which is why I’m not inviting my family to the wedding…

Laying her phone down, Tiny curled up on the end of the couch and cried some more. She would wait for Joe’s message of comfort or his phone call when ever he looked at his phone. She never expected him to drop whatever he was doing to deal with her or her family issues but most of the time he almost always did.


Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you, and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.


Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.


Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.


Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken at your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body. Use it in every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly. 

Get to know your parents. You never know when they will be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings. They’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyles, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do. you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you’ll marry a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you’re 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

—  Kurt Vonnegut’s commencement address at MIT in 1997

Special thanks to @rampyourvoice for sharing information about Cosmic Callisto Caprica. As a disabled black woman with cystic hygroma,I’m blind in my left eye,deaf in my left ear and I have no control over the muscles on the left side of my face. For the majority of my life I let my disabilities stop me from doing things that I wanted to do. I always doubted myself because I had cystic hygroma. If I could tell my younger self,“Hay someday things are going to get better and youre going to self publish a sci fi novel.” I would have told you that you were the biggest liar ever. Sometimes I still have to pinch myself to prove to myself that this is not a dream. Its taken me 31 years to feel ok with myself and to stop worrying about what others think if me. I’m just so excited that one of my favorite blogs has shared info about my book. Thank you so much for sharing information about my book project. I appreciate this!

If you give me a chance,
I won’t give you the stars and the moon
I will just do things that I can prove
I will do anything, everything
For you, for us
I will stay by your side,
through whatever and whenever
If you give me a chance,
I will hold your hand and
never let you go 
I will make ever moment better
If you give me a chance,
I swear I will take care of you
Until my last dying days
If you give me a chance,
I will wipe away all of your tears
If you give me a chance,
I will open your eyes
So you could see
this dazzling place in front of us
If you give me a chance,
I will share you a new world, a different scene
Another perspective, a different feeling
If you give me a chance,
I swear I will make it worth it
If you give me a chance,
I will give you every part of me. 
I will love you,
with all of my might.

After seeing Calvin and his fiance at the same restaurant Taylor and Elijah were at, she decides to do the only thing she could think of: Prove to Calvin she’s moved on. When she thinks she can forget him completely, she gets an unexpected surprise in the mail that brings Calvin back into her life once again. With the wedding approaching rapidly, what will Taylor decide to do? Will she fight for him and the love they had or will she give up on him completely to save herself all the hurt?

Word Count- 8538

Meant To Be- Tayvin Series (6/8)

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