this probably wouldn't sell that well

  • Michael: Son of a fucking cunt! I just got jury duty! Damnit!
  • Gavin: So you gonna go?
  • Michael: Well, I have to go.
  • Gavin: Well, you didn't have to go last time.
  • Michael: I had to. I just didn't.
  • Gavin: But now you're a law abiding citizen?
  • Michael: Yeah. Now I got shit that matters. I have to go.
  • Jack: I got jury duty for the first time last year.
  • Gavin: Was it fun?
  • Jack: I showed up-
  • Gavin: Was it the Scranton Strangler?
  • Jack: They had fifty people in there, and they kept asking questions, and I kept saying that I hate guns, and they go "Okay, you're not going to be part of the jury."
  • Geoff: Mine was a drug thing, and they're like, would you convict someone for anything to anything, like, this increment to this increment of drugs, and I sad "no", and they're like "what if they're sold to school children?", and I'm like "no", and they're like, "alright, go home".
  • Jack: Yeah, they're just, like, we're not going to use you. They'll just dismiss jurors.
  • Geoff: They're like "it could be marijuana, or it could be something as serious as cocaine or methamphetamines", and I'm like "but it could be marijuana", and they're like "yes", and I'm like "well, then, no". "But it could be something else", and I'm like, "just tell me if it's something else or not!" And they wouldn't. Yeah, I'm going to put someone in jail for having pot on them, sure.
  • Michael: Sometimes the five-year-old's looking for it.
  • Ryan: That seems odd, though. It seems like they should just go directly to the drug in question. Cause if it's, like, black tar heroin, you'd probably be like someone should go to jail for that.
  • Geoff: Yeah, exactly. Like, you're selling heroin to school kids? I'll put that guy in jail. But they didn't say that. They were just "they had something, and it could have been an ounce, or it could have been Pablo Escobar amounts of drugs. We're not going to tell you what the drugs were, or where they sold them, or if they sold them, we just want to know if you would consider convicting someone for something as little as one pill."
  • Michael: I hope I get a question as good as that.
  • Geoff: They were really annoyed with me.

anonymous asked:

I had a lady refuse to buy a copy of Microsoft Office at work the other day because she didn't get a hard copy, just the code. "Well what if my computer crashes?" She asked. Well, Office probably wouldn't do that so if it does crash, it's something else. She had to be in her late 60s. Like honey, hardly anyone sells hard copies of shit like that anymore because it can all be found online. We aren't Office Max. Go there if you want a hard copy!