this probably doesn't even make sense to most of you

when the people i thought would understand me the most completely don’t and it throws your whole trust and safety with them out the window


cause if you of all people don’t understand why i’m being this way or don’t even care to enquire into my current state of wellbeing or at the very least give me a chance to explain myself then how can i be myself or reach out to them for help if it results in being judged and basically shamed?? ?


i forgot how much it hurts when i need attention & love but the people you thought would be there are oblivious to everything about me rn

anonymous asked:

I was watching some of bts' early mvs and noticed how much more central namjoon used to feel to them. Like, you could sense that he was the leader even if you didn't know. Do you think Bighit used to make him more of a center piece in their mvs and doesn't do it as much anymore or am I imagining things?

i think they stopped pushing namjoon as the face of the group. he was the reason it started, the most talented in rapping right off the bat…. so knowing how bang pd was inspired by namjoon, he probably thought it’d be the same for fans. but instead joon had he least fans by far – and it continues to be that way – so I think they stopped making him a focus bc namjoon doesn’t draw in the most fans as a face of the group ((ironic lmao bc all these fans who don’t give a shit about him came for the music and guess who the fuck made all their music… hm)). namjoons face and personality draws in the least fans yet his music is why the group is a success ! anyway I love stanning a king too bad the rest of this fandom remains ignorant :’)

alright but photographer!ashton would make you wear your favorite panties and nothing else to be his model, and he’d make sure you laid on the crisp white bedsheets and he’d turn the lights off but immediately turn on the red and purple lighting he always had, but he would always insist it wasn’t an erotic or in anyway sexual shoot which eased your worries about being photographed nearly naked. he would never shoot before 10:00 because he claimed that was his most creative time of day, and he’d make sure the room was always warm so you would be completely comfortable. ashton would speak in hushed tones as he gave you minor posing instructions, but he would mainly let you turn and move how you wanted, how you felt most beautiful and natural. the room would be silent except for the shutter of the camera, and sometimes the heart beat in your ears you heard as your adrenaline raced every time ashton, who would normally be very professional about the situation, would accidentally spend half a second longer gazing at your exposed body, lip slightly bitten between his teeth and eyes dark with desire because even though you were his model you were also his lover and sometimes he’d blur the lines between the two

4

도경수, today is your special day. I’m not sure where to begin, or why I’m even writing to someone who will never read my letter, but I’ll try my best to express myself anyway. I guess I’ll start by saying thank you for existing, as strange as that sounds. You inspire me every day to chase my dreams, because nothing comforts me more than seeing you on stage and knowing that is where you’ve always wanted to be. It’s you with your smooth and silky voice that could instantly lift my mood, and it’s you who never fails to make me smile by just the thought of you. You also have the ability to make me feel things I’m still trying to comprehend and things that I’m not even sure of, but that’s okay. When it comes to you, it’s always pure bliss and everything that’s good in life because you truly make me the happiest. You give me strength during the toughest situations and you make my problems disappear, even if it’s only for a second. I am beyond grateful to have found you, although I haven’t been around for as long as I would prefer. You’ve shown us you’re a man of many talents, especially in the past year, and I can’t wait to see you achieve even more. I’m proud to stan such an amazing and perfect person as you. I really wish there was some way you could read this and know how much you mean to me, but truthfully it still won’t be enough. My love for you runs deeper than words could ever say. From your start as EXO’s tiny vocalist with the heart shaped smile, I will endlessly love and support you no matter what. My wish for you is to have the most amazing birthday yet, an even better year, and for you to always be happy and healthy! Happy birthday to the most beautiful boy in the world ♡

 

So I’ve had this photo on my phone for a while now but I haven’t posted it anywhere. I turned the photo to this side because I’m sick of taking the same photos from the same angles. I’m sick of looking the same. The amount of makeup that I am wearing in this picture doesn’t define me, but boy does it help my confidence. It’s amazing how makeup can transform you from looking okay to looking absolutely fabulous and flawless. This photo represents me at my happiest - when I have accomplished a makeup look that I used to believe only actual makeup artists were capable of. This photo is to prove to myself that I can still be talented and perhaps noteworthy even though I’m not the most beautiful girl in the world nor the best “makeup artist”. This photo is for me because I feel beautiful even underneath all of that makeup. This photo is for me because for once in my life I don’t need a boy to tell me I’m beautiful. This photo is for me because I created a canvas on my face - something I had always hoped for - and when you work hard to accomplish your dreams and they come true, you feel on top of the world.

  • Most people: Bruce/Natasha doesn't make sense!!!1!
  • Me: There's a difference between you not wanting something, and it not making sense. Those are two very different things. Something can make sense even if you didn't want it.