this press conference is hilarious

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 DECODED STORIES #1

The Alleged Stabbing of Lance Rivera.

When Vol 3… Life and Times of S.Carter, my fourth album hit the streets more than a month before the official release date, I was totally at a loss. One night I went to Q-Tip’s solo album release party and at some point in the night I ran into the guy everyone’s been telling me is behind the bootleg. So I approached him, when I told him what I suspected, to my suprise, he got real loud with me right there in the middle of the club. We separated and I went over to the bar. I was talking to people, but I was really talking to myself out loud. Before I even realized what I was doing I headed back over to him but this time I was blacking out with anger. The next thing I knew all hell had broken loose in the club. That night the guy went straight to the police and I was charged with assault.

After a couple of days I called my lawyer and turned myself in at the precinct, that’s when I realized how serious things were because they started setting up a press conference. The hilarious thing, if any of this can be considered funny is that the Rocawear Bubble Coat I was wearing when they paraded me in front of the cameras started flying off the shelves the last three weeks before Christmas.

ANASTASIA: THE BIG ASS TEXT POST

because I am already so in love with this show (but it could be EVEN BETTER!!)

first a quick q&a

did you see the show? nope, i’m on the other side of the country.

so how did– downloaded the audio recording of the whole show. no, i can’t share it.

so who did you get it from? I AINT NO SNITCH

Keep reading

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Thursday press conference, Misano

1.) Nice that Marc initiates greeting Vale.
2.) Hilarious that Vale almost chokes on his drink in his haste to respond.

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Post-race press conference, Japanese GP

“When I see Lorenzo out, then okay I forget everything. I miss the gear three-four-five times in the lap, I didn’t know in which circuit I was! Was so difficult to concentrate, and look behind I see Dovi, but okay I keep the concentration.

And when I pass the finish line I say okay we will see which celebration, because I think will be not ready, because we didn’t prepare anything! But the team always believe in me, and they were there and ready with the T-shirts, so was really nice.”

we could have had

  • puppy gianluca jumping around in excitement
  • a victory Grande Amore perfomance
  • the winners press conference with il volo (no doubt that would’ve been hilarious)
  • a song contest in probably the prettiest country in europe?!
  • AND il volo being part of the esc 2016 (another Grande Amore perfomance, maybe also another song? maybe they would’ve been presenting????)

fuck the juries

youtube

Sherman, Baldwin mock NFL in hilarious press conference 

Richard Sherman turned talk show host at Seahawks headquarters Tuesday. With the help of a cardboard cutout, Sherman and Doug Baldwin took digs at the NFL for forcing teams to play two games in five days, prohibiting players from mentioning some companies while plugging others and for fining their teammate Marshawn Lynch $100,000 for not speaking to the media.

Sherman and Baldwin made like NASCAR drivers, mentioning everything from the league’s sponsorship deals with companies, including Beats by Dre headphones, Subway, Campbell’s Soup and Martinelli’s juices. To their own personal endorsements that are not affiliated with the NFL.

The point of their performance seemed to be that whatever they said — real or satirical — it would not be a violation of the league’s media policy on speaking with reporters.

“The other day Marshawn Lynch got fined $100,000. Did you know that, $100,000?” Sherman said. “And it’s like they wouldn’t have paid him $100,000 if he had talked. If he had spoken, Doug do you think they would have paid him $100,000?”

Baldwin responded, “No, they sure wouldn’t have.”

The duo spoke for about 2½ minutes ahead of Thursday’s NFC championships game rematch against San Francisco. Baldwin hid behind a cutout of himself, with Sherman standing to the side of the podium and taking the lead as the pair bantered.

Sherman took only one question, and after the pair referenced a number of personal sponsors — many of which are not NFL sponsors — walked off without speaking about the matchup with the 49ers. The pair prepped briefly and notified the companies they were going to mention ahead of time.

“It’s fun to use your time in the NFL to speak about something you care about, right? Right?” Sherman said in his back-and-forth with Baldwin. “Because then you don’t get fined $100,000. You don’t get fined at all for this. This is how they want us to talk, right? This is what they want us to do. They want us to advertise, right Doug?”

Their targets were wide ranging, including headphones, soup, clothing, sandwiches and juice. The cardboard cutout of Baldwin was actually an advertisement that’s also on display at Subway restaurants in the Seattle area.

Sherman immediately mentioned his endorsement deal with Beats by Dre. The league has an agreement with Bose.

The league has told players they cannot wear unauthorized equipment until 90 minutes after the completion of games. San Francisco quarterback Colin Kaepernick was fined earlier this year for wearing Beats headphones during a postgame news conference.

“The league doesn’t let me say anything about them. Why is that?” Sherman asked.

Baldwin’s response: “I don’t know. Sounds kind of hypocritical to me.”

Sherman made note of Campbell’s Soup — another personal endorsement — and how it could be helpful with cold and flu season approaching.

“Speaking of health, how do you feel about the NFL making you play two games in five days?” Baldwin asked.

“I almost didn’t realize that because they’ve been talking about player safety so much,” Sherman responded. “It’s like two games in five days doesn’t seem like you care about player safety. It’s a little bit much for me.”

Here is the full press conference. It’s a must see. (above)