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Why I Stopped Posting Pictures of my Top Surgery Results

On December 14th 2015, after many years of waiting, I had top surgery. Like many people in the years leading up to my surgery I scoured the internet for photos for people who had had surgery with my surgeon. Being in Canada and mostly only operating in one province I wasn’t surprised to not find a whole lot. 

I also looked for results from other people of colour, other South Asian people, and people with body types similar to mine. Unfortunately, I didn’t find much. I found that the spaces dedicated to surgery results weremainly dominated by white, slim, and muscular folks. 

I was frustrated because I knew that that my results would look drastically different than theirs. Despite my best efforts I found myself feeling frustrated with other POC. I knew that slim, muscular white people would be celebrated and get more traction than POC but there was so little out there. I didn’t need the posts or Youtube videos to be popular I just needed them to exist. I thought I understood why those results weren’t as out there, and partially I did, but now I really get it. 

When I first saw my post-op chest eight days after surgery I was elated. My partner took a couple pictures of that moment and I happily posted them on the internet (even if I felt a little self-conscious). In the days and weeks following my reveal I kept posting updated pictures though I was more and more hesitant to do so each time. Every time I did I got negative feedback about my results, weight,and body shape; reblogs, messages from anonymous people on Tumblr, and comments on Facebook posts (almost exclusively from other trans folks) left me feeling shitty about my body and results. 

Before those comments I felt good about my results and while I had issues with my hips and stomach and lack of muscles I was working to feel better about myself and my body.  So I stopped posting about my results. When one type of body is the only type celebrated in a community anyone who looks different is going to feel excluded and self-conscious - when they are then met with negative comments it’s no wonder they stop posting. It’s not a coincidence that it is hard to find top surgery results from non-thin, muscular, white people.

Does posting these pictures mean that I am over my body image problems: hell no. In fact, I have been feeling pretty self-conscious for the last little while (thanks grad school for meaning I’m too busy and poor to work out or always eat right) but I want to share my results. While I know that I’m not plus sized and don’t really consider myself fat (and benefit in society because of that) I’m also don’t super thin or cut. I want other people who look like me to know that there are other people like them in this community. I want to fight the dominance of white people in these spaces by being present. 

I know that I’m opening myself up to those comments again but I hope that people reading this will realize this it is not okay to make negative comments about others people bodies - even when those people aren’t super thin, muscular and white. 

anonymous asked:

I agree with your millicent post, but it sadly is extremely hard to find plus sized models for edits, especially male ones. I made a plus sized neville moodboard once and spent /hours/ just looking for pictures to use (it normally takes me 5-10 mins). Even then, i couldn't really find a good fancast. If you search "male plus sized models" on google, pretty much only one person comes up. It's really disheartening.

Yeah, the problem far extends tumblr and is basically ingrained in society that people who aren’t thin shouldn’t be seen. But I think that’s why it’s so important to people that they see fat characters depicted as fat rather than skinny, because we’re told so much that we shouldn’t be seen. Only to then have book characters that we can’t see turned skinny for aesthetics. 

But yeah, I guess it’s harder to find plus size fancasts, especially in the modelling community. But plus size actors and actresses exist too and even if it’s not perfect at least it’s something

Hey, it's Mental Health Month!

So, I’ve taken the suggestion of writing some tips I’ve found to be really helpful when it comes to dealing with anxiety and depression. You know, to boost self-esteem and that shit. Okay, here we go.
1. If you’re feeling depressed, I find having a good cry always works. I know it sounds like that shouldn’t work at all, but it does. It just flushes at least some of the negativity out.
2. Self-harm is not the way to go, so if you feel like you want to, don’t. What I usually do instead is draw where I would otherwise hurt myself. You’re creating a picture instead of injuring yourself, and that’s infinitely better.
3. Public in general can be shit, right? So, instead of feeling like you might puke or faint, take a deep breath and think about something you can look forward to when you get back home instead of just worrying.
4. Remember, panic attacks come in all different shapes and sizes, from hyperventilating to anger or irritation. Either way, especially if you’re having an attack that means you’re finding it hard to breath and you feel like you might black out, find at least five things around you that are either familiar or can anchor you back to calmness. Whether it’s a friend or the seat you always sit on at lunch, just find those things and calm yourself down.
5. Being in an unfamiliar place is intimidating even if you’re a confident individual with little to no social anxiety, so if you do it can be hell. So, to try and get rid of that feeling, find something that reminds you of back home, like another branch of your favourite shop or something. Home is familiar, so it could help.
6. If you’re having a particularly bad spell that feels like it’s never going to get better, talking to someone could very well help. If they don’t help, okay, fine, but at least try. A parental figure or friend is absolutely fine, and if you see a therapist or psychologist, talking is what they’re for, so talk to them.
7. Also, if you’re having a terrible day, have a bath. Read a book. Catch up on your favourite TV show. Listen to some music. Whatever it takes to make you think that you’ll get through this is fine.
8. If you are getting harassed or bullied, tell someone. Forget the ‘grassing’ rule, it’s bullshit, and your mental health means a hell of a lot more than the credibility of a little shit who feels like they need to harass you for being different. Same goes for if you see or hear someone being bullied. Don’t necessarily step in, because you could cause more harm than good, but tell an authority figure who can take the correct steps to prevent it from happening again.
9. Last but not least, any reason for not committing suicide is valid. Absolutely anything. It could be you’re worried that nobody will feed the cat if you’re gone, or that the next episode of your favourite TV show comes out next week, or there’s a school trip you’re looking forward to in a month. Anything. Just remember, you’re a loved human being who has talents that you need to share with the big wide world.

There you go, people. Hope these help.


anxiety survival requirement: find a friend who will either suggest this or go along with it

in real life, my grillby friend is an elementary school teacher who works very hard and deserves to scream in a car sometimes.


[previous: anxiety dreams part 2] [next: srs writing vs. fanfic writing]

Rise’s EMERGENCY Commission list: 

So Im gonna be blunt, im living with my parents and i am having a hard time finding a job so why not make some quick buck doing what i love, possibly save up for rent and bills kind of thing. so im opening commissions to try to have some money on the side for the time being.

Details below

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Sony Vegas basics

So, I had a few friends asking me before how can they use sony vegas and, since I’ve been recently asked again, I decided that maybe using images will be more helpful than just..Write everything.

First of all I will start with the way you can import media.

One of the ways you could do so is by: File-> Import-> Media . Then a window will appear and you select the files you wish to import into Sony Vegas. But honestly, a much easier way to do so is to drag your files in SV instead.

Good. You’ve got all your files? The next thing I will show you now is some basic things you can use.

Fade in or out:

To do that you will have to go to the corner of your file/image/song and slowly drag it ( left or right depending on the corner you choosed ).

After that you can choose how long your file/image/song to be by going to the edge of it, and slowly drag it.

You can choose to make it shorter, or longer than the file already is. It’s an useful thing when  you’re editing with a song because you might want to put the images depending on the lyrics, rhythm or other elements. Also an other useful thing for both images and songs/other files is ‘Edit’->'Split’. I honestly use it more for songs so I can choose the exact part I want to edit with.

Now, moving on we have two options:

We got two buttons on the image we got right now. One is for masking and some other settings of the image ( position, make it move etc ) and the other for effects. We won’t talk right now about effects but there’s another way to put effects on your files too.

If we click the first button, a window like this one will show up

When you decide masking, be sure that 'Mask’ was checked. If not check it before you start working ( but it’s not a big deal if you check it after that either, it will still be the same result )

Once you are done masking all you will see on your preview screen will be the element/character you choosed from your image as in the picture above. You can choose to zoom in your image in the window opened for a better masking and move your image around as well so you could do everything easier. If you don’t like how it came out you can choose to undo and mask it once again.

Other than this you can go to the first line ( Position ) so you could choose the position of your image on the preview screen, zoom in or out, move it.

Keep it in mind that if you choose to move your image you must keep a certain size you first choosed for your image(this is not mandatory for backgrounds too if you want to play around with that) and once you want to change the position ( so you could make it seem like it moves on screen ) you must choose another place on the position line too ( check picture to see what I mean). You can play around with the 'Lock aspect ratio’ and 'Size about center’ buttons as well.

Other than that you can go to the 'Media Generators’ where you can add a background (or elements that can create a background) or text in your videos.

For each one of them ( background, text or other elements) you can choose to do the same thing as you did with your pictures. You can change their size, move them and so on ( for text and background I must note also the fact that you can change its color as well. It won’t be hard to find the way to change colors because a window will show up in the moment you drag the media on a video track)

Now we are almost done. You can choose to go to 'Video FX’ or 'Transitions’ to add effects and transition like in this image:

Sure, this is just an example. Go on and test all the other ones you can find (ps: Newblue FX can’t be found in SV unless you download them first–which most of the times can be a problem because of the watermarks).

Also, fade in and fade out are some kind of transitions too if we think of them. And the same way you could choose their duration you can do the same with the other transitions.

Now, above the preview screen there’s a saving button. This one will save an image of the frame you choose (to do that you must zoom in as much as you can the video track to make sure you get the exact frame you want). It’s useful as a trick to zoom in or out the whole image you just created ( background + text + other images/elements ) or even for transitions (if you want to change everything at the same time). After you click the button a window will appear. You write the name of the image and then save it.

The image you got should be like this:

Instead of 3 separated elements (initial image,background and text) now you got a whole picture. Sure, it’s just a frame so none of the initial elements will move differently or something like that. You can’t edit them separatly now that they are a whole image. There are other tricks for zooming in/out and other things like that while it moves but I won’t complicate things right now ( I probably already did…)


If you haven’t finished your video you can go to 'File’->'Save’/'Save As’ and return later to your project, or if you are done with your work you can go to 'File’->'Render As’ to get your actual video. It can take a short while or it can take a lot of time depending on how long your video is and the effects you used too.

Now I am done. I will leave here the usual settings I got as well since they are different than the usual ones SV initially has:

To change your settings go to 'File’->'Properties’

Picture in the tutorial can be found on



It was kinda hard making this house, since it’s so beyond what I normally do. I did enjoy it, though!

Lot size; 40 x 30
Total price; §76,420 furnished

WCIF friendly but please don’t prosecute me for not remembering where something came from. I have a terrible memory. If you’d like to download the lot, it’s on the gallery! My username is rubyredinstead - Tag me if you use this in your game! I’d love to see your pictures. Be sure to check “include custom content” otherwise you might not be able to find it!

Check below the cut for the interior shots →

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anonymous asked:

Is your little camera for vlogging and big cameras for pictures? What do you recommend for taking nice photos with the occasional video? Thanks :)

Yeah pretty much, however I also use my big camera for “sit down” videos.

Choosing a camera is like… choosing a partner 😂

Not really but kinda!

it’s hard to find a camera that has it all. You will always have to sacrifice something, whether it be the size, the weight, the screen flipping, the mic port, the sensor, the auto focus. There are so many aspects. It’s taken me and Tim years of using cameras to really figure out what we really need (and we still change our mind a lot haha).

Then you also have the lens, yes the body is important, it’s the foundation, but the lens is what makes the different between an okay shot and an amazing shot.

Mirrorless technology is the future so if you are new to cameras then I wouldn’t recommend investing in dlsr’s, even though they are know as the “pro” camera. You can know get just as good image with a much much smaller mirrorless camera. Sony, Olympus and Panasonic are the best brands for mirrorless. Sony has by far the most choice, and the cameras are amazing, it’s also the only one to have a full frame mirrorless camera (Sony A7) but the reason I didn’t choose Sony is because all their high end cameras don’t have a flip around screen. That makes filming videos very very hard.

They still have mid range cameras with a flip screen that can work well for filming and photos with like the A5100.

My choice was the OMD EM5 mark 2
And I just upgraded to the OMD EM1 mark 2

It’s really amazing, Small and light, perfect for traveling, photos are incredible.

My lens is the Olympus zoom lens 12- 40mm 2.8

So overall it’s a pretty expensive setup if you are just starting out. But it all depends on what you want to get out of it.

Also the Panasonic gh4 is an amazing camera and cheaper but it is a video focused camera.

If you aren’t filming much and don’t care about the film screen, look into the Sony mirrorless range, maybe a A6500…

If this makes no sense, do more research before buying a camera and know what you want out of it. YouTube videos help a lot 👌🏼❤

So that leaves the Olympus

Another thing that bothered me especially tonight was the amount of entitlement and complaints about things I couldn’t even control.

How are you gonna go into a restaurant and then complain about the temperature of the place? I told you my manager turned the AC off and you STILL continued to tell me how unenjoyable your food is because of how cold you are. I’m sorry. I didn’t ask you to come in here. You’re free to leave I don’t want to serve you I’m STUCK serving you. It isn’t in my job description to walk around the place trying to find the warmest table for you. 

Why is the 2 for 20 page so hard for people to comprehend? It CLEARLY says at the top of the page “enjoy two full size entrees plus one appetizer to share!” with a clear list (including pictures) of the apps and entrees included in the deal. So why do people still try to order two entrees and two appetizers? Why do I constantly have to answer the question “How does this 2 for 20 thing work?” Why do people get angry when what they want to order isn’t a part of the special and I tell them I can’t change what’s included and what’s not?

Why do people take a sip of their bar drinks and then tell me “there’s no alcohol in this” when I watched the bartender make it? Yes there is alcohol in it. No it’s not a ton your drink was only 3.99 and it’s applebees not the club.

Why did this man think it was acceptable to shove his steak in my face and ask me “does this look like medium well to you?!”  Um I’m sorry…did you want me to cut it open before serving it to you?? FUCK NO. You would of had a fit if you got your steak and it was already cut into.

When I ask if you’re ready to order I’m not volunteering to stand over your shoulder and walk you through the menu because you don’t know how to read the description. I REALLY just wanted to know if you were ready…I have other tables to serve.


luna-blis  asked:

What fonts do you use on your notes if you make them in word? Ive been searching dafont but i cant find anything similar :(

The fonts that I used in my picture that I’ve posted to my blog were:

  • Movus Brush Pen
  • Shorelines Script
  • Moon Flower (this may appear a bit hard to read when smaller in size so I use a thicker ‘alternative’ DK Lemon Yellow Sun)
  • DK Lemon Yellow Sun

Other great fonts that I use:

  • Lemon/Milk
  • Roomfer
  • Olivier

& just regular Calibri for the body text! All of these can be found on Dafont for free too!!

Purchased from Mandarake Online, I ordered it the 20th, and got it today. It has a sibling poster of just Hitomi, Van, and Allen with a blue background. This poster is B2 size. It seems to be a promotional for the series. Made in 1997. It has some creases and some rough edges. But this has been my favorite purchase this year. Its so hard to find anything with dragonslayers, let alone good imagery of the one with glasses, and the blonde Ryoun look-alike (he’s Ryoun to me). 

I’m gonna be looking into either scanning it in sections, or seeing about getting it laminated.

cohale  asked:

* hey, so someone's reblogged one of your many amazing edits (I did my self a favour and went through your page). I was just wondering how you achieve the still background on through the silhouette like in /post/120416727688/a-thousand-silhouettes-dancing-on-my-chest-no ? I've tried and thought of how to do it but yours looks absolutely amazing. Thanks and I hope you have a great day :)

Thank you so much cutie, that’s very nice of you to say. I’ve never made a tutorial or anything before so sorry if it’s not good.

This is a tutorial on how to make the background of your image a solid color.

You do need photoshop and basic knowledge of how to use it.

Keep reading

Victor's room - who is on that picture?

Dear @borntomake! I love your writing and your metas are amazing. Winter Song is my favorite YOI fic.

Here’s the thing: I’ve just finished rewatching YOI and there’s this one detail about Victor’s room in Hasetsu that I just can’t stop think about. In the scene when both Yuris are going through Victor’s old costumes before Onsen on Ice, who is the woman in the picture above Victor’s sofa?

And here’s a close-up:

Is it a picture or a painting? My first intuitive assumption was that the woman was Victor’s mother but when I thought about it, I really have no solid evidence to back this. I guess my reasoning was - the pose and the setting appear too natural for a work of art -> the lady has light (silver hair?) and is dressed in an old-fashioned way -> the size of the picture says that whoever she is, she is VERY important to Victor -> she’s Victor’s mother. But I think I’m overinterpreting things here.

Has this been discussed? (I hadn’t been a part of the fandom back when Ep3 aired, if yes, sorry for repeating the question). I’d really like to know what you think.
Have a lovely day!

@borntomake here - just tagging onto your submission with my thoughts.

My first impression is that it’s a painting because I’ve seen one very similar before. However, when I tried to research, I wasn’t able to find an exact match. (If you do a google image search for Impressionist paintings with a woman at the beach wearing a hat, you’ll see what I mean about the scene being familiar.)

It’s hard to tell (because it’s an anime) if the picture is meant to be realistic or if it’s a painting. The coloring alone makes me think it’s a painting. We also see other artistic pieces in Victor’s room, such as the sculpture in the screencap above.

The picture of the woman also appears to be flat and around poster print size (meaning it’s a reprint rather than the actual painting). Here’s a screenshot that shows it’s quite large. Not really picture size, compared to the framed shot of Victor on the bookcase. (And haha! Love that Victor has a framed picture of himself in his room. What a nerd, I love him.)

However, I could totally be wrong here. I actually HOPE I’m wrong!

I love the idea of Victor having a family or past that we haven’t discovered yet!! The beach seems very important to him.

What does everyone else think?

Strawberry Cheese cake Mini Watercolour Tutorial

Recently I did a study in Watercolour and I decided to document the steps for future reference and share with you guys :) 

nom nom nom

Part 0: Colours!

[1] I used this to outline of the cake it is opaque and easily lifted 

[2] I made 2 shades of red[2]&[8] for the darker one [2]&[4] for the lighter one. 

[3] A light staining green I add [2]&[4] to it to make it muddy for the base of the cake

[4] A staining yellow 

[5] A light blue I used for the shadows of the icing

[6] I used this with [5] to paint the background

[7] A nice grey colour I used to add the darker parts of the base

[8] I use this to supplement the red 

To the right is the small round brush I used for the whole painting. The painting is about the size of my palm if this wasn’t a study I would have painted it bigger. 

I also used a white sakura gelly roll for the highlights 

Step 1: Find a photo reference

Choose one with good lighting. I like to choose pictures that are high-key since the whites are already established and I like painting shiny things. 

Step 2: Do the outline

I personally dislike doing outlines in pencil because if I sketch too lightly I own’t be able to see it but if I do it too hard it will show through. Instead I use watercolour paint. The goal is to pick a non staining watercolour paint that is easy to remove from the paper once you put it down. It should “erase” flawlessly with a little bit of water and lifting. I noticed that my ocher colour is exactly like that so I used that to do the outline of the cake. If you can’t find a paint like that use a really watered down version of a colour that is present in the painting. 

Step 3: Mask the extreme light areas

It would be hard to paint around extremely shiny areas with such a dark red around it so I use liquid latex/masking fluid on those parts only. This way you can paint as dark as you like. Wait until the masking fluid is completely dry before painting. 

 Step 4: Paint the side

I find the best way to paint the side is to wet the paper a little bit and lightly glaze the areas with some red, this way you keep it light and once that dries you can build up the intensity. 

If you find the paint too dark simply lift it with a paint brush. I used this technique to get some nice gradient areas. 

For the bottom I used the dry brush technique to create little gaps. 

Step 5: Paint the Icing 

The icing of the cake is annoying to do only because I painted really small the whole painting is about the size of my hand orz. It would be a lot better the painting was bigger but since this is a study I didn’t really mind :) 

Notice what I said about the ochre being very easy to take off? Look on the right edge of the cake I had no problem lifting the paint off of the page. 

Step 6: Rub off the masking fluid

After the paint drys COMPLETELY I removed the masking fluid from the paper by rubbing it with my fingers. If the masked area in your painting is really big feel free to use a eraser to help you so that your fingers are not numb from all that rubbing :P. 

Step 7: Paint in the high lights and background

Some highlights are not as bright as others so I painted them in to make it less extreme. For background I just used blue since it goes well with red and a background in this case is very much needed since the icing is mostly white the edge will be one with the paper if you don’t define it. 

Step 8: Gel pen the highlights

After I paint the highlights I use a gel pen to go over the high light. 

AND WE ARE ALL DONE! Thank you for taking the time to read this tutorial! I apologize for the shitty photo and editing. I just got a new computer so I haven’t installed PS yet :I 

*If you liked this tutorial and would like to see more walkthroughs/tuts please tell me (or simply reblog/like) I would love to hear your feedback!*

anonymous asked:

Can we get a thing with the yandere Axis apologizing to their s/o with a present?

((I decided to just name the present they would get you.))

Germany/Ludwig Beilschmidt-

He’s getting you some clothing. You’d like that right? New clothes? That will make you happy…maybe something tight? So he can enjoy it too? He’ll have to check your closet for the right sizes…you won’t mind…the hide a key is still in the same place, he saw you use it yesterday.

Italy/Feliciano Vargas-

A beautiful picture! He’ll paint it, just for you, because gray pencil shading doesn’t do justice for you. He’ll select and mix the perfect tones, for your hair, your skin, the bedsheets might be hard, be he can do it! Oh you’ll love piece! It’s of his lovely one after all, he’ll hang it right above your bed for you to find.

Japan/Kiku Honda-

It has to be…perfect. Perhaps a porcelain figure? Maybe…could he really buy an apology? Maybe not…Food! That’s what he’ll do. He can make your lunch, leave the little surprise in your fridge. He can design it into a nice pattern, make a small story within the food. Perhaps some kittens? Would you like that scene? Of course you would, you’re his innocent and sweet, you’ll love it.

Cosplay Tutorial - Mage staff (Valdasine/Voracity, Dragon Age 2)

One of the exciting parts of my Hawke (DA2) cosplay was chosing a staff. I picked Valdasine as I find it the most visually appealing. It was made of fiber glass, paper clay, worbla and wood. Image heavy past as words says more than words :)
(picture above by captainimaginaryphotography​)

Let’s begin!

1) References
First thing first, you’ll need to know what you’re going to do, and finding proper image references can be hard. Also, in game and concept art may be different so choose one design and stick to it. 

2) Template
If you’re lucky you might find a “life-size” printable version of your staff when searching for references, but most likely you may have to sketch it out yourself. 

After sketching I traced to another paper to make templates for cutting out the pieces. 

3) “Sword” part - fiber glass
I needed something thin, hard, and sturdy for the sword part of the staff. My Dad suggested using one of his scrap pieces of fiber glass, which worked very well. (I was not alloud to use his electric saw to cut out the pieces, so that is the only part of this entire cosplay I did not do myself). 

The pieces were sanded to become smooth. Afterwards, I drilled holes and  attached it to a wodden mop staff with screws and a two part super epoxy (which becomes rock hard -  so be careful!).

Also the other parts were attached with epoxy. To add the “spike” I had to cut out a hole in the wodden staff. 

4) Paper clay
Referencing my sketch, I molded the paper clay right onto the staff. Use aluminum foil to build up the shape first, so that it will be less heavy (as paper clay is fairly heavy). First one side, let it dry and then the other. 

So many details! (But oh so pretteeeeeeh!) 

After drying, the paper clay may crack, but in this cae it was alright as it was going to be covered with worbla. 

5) Worbla 
I cut out two pieces of worbla, bigger than the shape. Heated it up with my heat gun and then pressed it over my piece, staring from the middle, using a clay shaping tool and my fingers to make sure it covered properly. 

I covered both sides and then brought the two sides together and smoothened out the seams. I also added extra “flames” with worbla, to make the “burning” part bigger. 

I also sculpted the teeth in worbla. As well as a handle around the “spike” made of craft foam around the staff + covered in worbla. 

6) Prime time!
There’s no getting around it, a zillion layers of gesso and/or filler spray, then sanding to smoothen it out. Worbla is easy to shape but has a odd texture. To get a smooth result one must prime and prime and priiiime. And then sand and sand and saaaand. 

7) Painting
The staff was spray painted with silver actylic montana gold spray paint, which basically is the best base for any armor/weapon in my opinion as you can paint over and distress over it and the silver color will still stay on. Only bad thing was it peeled of my orange acrylics, so I decided to cover the “mane” with filler spry yet again to start over. 

After the initial orange color I added several layers of oranges to build up depth in the “mane/fire”. With darker shades in between and lighter shades on top of the “bumps”. 

I distressed the silver parts by painting woth a brush and then smearing with a cotton ball over the surface to create that old/used look. Afterwards I painted the details with  a thin brush. 

So pretteyh! T^T 

8) Finishing up
Lastly I sealed the paint job with a semi gloss varnish. The wodden staff was covered in brown cotton fabrics, which I first teared into strips and then rolled around the staff, spraying it with spray glue as I went. The edges were sealed with fabric glue. 

Hope you’ve enjoyed this little tutorial! :D 

Does My Butt Look Big In This?

Sorry for the inactivity for the past few weeks. I’ve been hella busy and still haven’t had time to do another photoshoot :( I guess I’ll just have to wait.

Until then though, I want to cover a topic that A LOT of people ask me about: What do I wear?

Now this is always a tricky question, as what works for me doesn’t necessarily work for everyone. So if you’re using this as a guide on what dresses you should wear please keep these three rules in mind.

1. Know your body shape

Some of us are boxes, some of us are triangles, and some of us are lucky enough to be hourglasses. Your body shape can make a lot of difference to what you can wear. 

For example, I’m a box/triangle shape (somewhere in the middle), therefore I would have a hard time wearing a dress which is tight all over. Instead, I can wear something that hugs to my chest but flares out around the waist.

If you don’t know what shape you are, here’s a simple guide:

2. Know your measurements.

Have you ever been clothes shopping with a woman? You know why it takes so long? It’s not as simple as “I’m a size 12 so I’ll fit into this” no bloody chance. You have to know your chest size, waist size and hips size and even then a dress might still not fit you.

I recommend having a measuring tape handy when you’re doing online shopping, as most shops will have a chart you can compare to. If in doubt, go with a larger size rather than a smaller. A lot of the time you’ll find your hips and chest won’t be proportionate, match the dress to your hips/waist as you can always fill your chest up with breasts, but you can’t just suddenly lose your hips.

3. Don’t listen to me (at least not always).

Like I said earlier, it’s hard to tell what is best for people, especially when I can only see them through a picture. I can give advice, but I will never know your body as well as you do.

If you think I’m wrong about something and that you can wear something I’ve told you not to: do it. If I’ve warned you to stay away from a certain dress but you think you can pull it off: do it. If I say two styles don’t match and you shouldn’t mix them: just bloody do it.

You know your body better than I do, so take my advice but please please PLEASE take it with a pinch of salt.

Alright, onto the main course. I’m gonna show you three dresses/outfits I’ve done recently(ish) and why they do/don’t work.

One of my favourite dresses right now, quite simply because it suits my body shape. Having a box shape means I have need the dress to create some curves for me, so wearing a skater dress works here because the flared bottom half hides my lack of hips.

I’ve said this to pretty much everyone who’s asked me for advice and I’ll say it again here: if all else fails, wear a skater dress.

I am yet to meet someone who doesn’t look good in a skater dress. It doesn’t matter what body shape you are, they seem to suit everyone. They’re a very safe option so if you’re new to crossdressing and want a good start, go with a skater dress.

Now here’s a dress I borrowed from Moon. She is at least a size smaller than me (probably more) and definitely has a more feminine shape. So it’s not too hard to realise that this dress really doesn’t work for me.

But it’s still a skater dress right? I thought you said skater dresses were a safe option?” Yeah, they are, but only if they fit. If you look closely enough between my arm and waist you’ll probably notice that the back of the dress isn’t zipped up. This means the dress losses it’s shape and becomes a bit distorted.

On top of that, it makes my shoulders look huge and despite being flared at the hips I still look box shaped. All-in-all, this a fantastic example of why you should always buy clothes that fit.

And the last example, which I like to call ‘The Wild Card’.

Here is an outfit which is tight at the hips, tight at the waist, tight at the chest and doesn’t cover much. Now if you remember my first two golden rules from earlier then you would realise that, in theory, this outfit should not work.

But it does.

Despite being everything that I shouldn’t be wearing, I still somehow manage to look good in this outfit. Partly because I’ve used my hair to hide my shoulders, and partly because it was a good day for my belly.

Regardless of why this works, all you need to know is sometimes an outfit will work when it shouldn’t. If it isn’t going to cost you anything to try an outfit that you don’t think will suit you, try it anyway! There have been dozens of dresses I didn’t think will work for me, but sometimes they do.

That’s all I’ve got for the time being. I also want to say thanks to everyone who responded to my Crossdressing Services post; I’ll be trying to put that into action soon enough.

If you have any questions about dresses/what to wear, don’t hesistate to message me on Tumblr (my ask box can always take more) or on Kik: Jessica_Blaise


Normally i dont really like having my picture taken. In fact. I am usually the one behind the camera. Because of my size. I find my body looks aweful in pictures. Plan and simple i think i look fat. Unless i take the picture myself and get just the right angle so i dont look as bad. It is a real struggle for me to be comfortable with the way i look. I know that im overweight. I know that im unhealthy. I know that its bad for my bones. I know all of those things. Its just hard. When you are constantly being judged by people whether with words or just stares. Its hard to want to go out and walk or go join a gym when people judge you for the way you look. Its hard. But. I am learning to become a bit more ok with the way i look. I have curves. I have hips. I have an ass. I have boobs. And that has to be ok. Cause thats the way i am.

These pictures were taken by my boyfriend. I had to tell him that i want more pictures of me that arent selfies. I am constantly taking candid snaps of him(hes so photogenic its maddening). He said fine. But only if you dont critic them before i post them or make me delete them because you think you look bad. So i agreed. The pictures never got posted. I just found them on my phone and was looking through them. I thought to myself. I look pretty darn good in some of these. Im no supermodel but im ok.

So please. Just be nice. It takes a lot of courage for some people to post pictures of themselves. So no negative comments please. Think of how you would feel. Or how your child would feel before you say something hurtful or rude.