this pic has all the goods

3

i have 0 excuses okay i just saw @joliemariella‘s tags on my silly drunk Pap animation and 

look at all those friends

c’mon Sans, gotta carry ‘em for SCIENCE (and friendship)

Male and female signs I know

Aries Male: Very awkward at first, super easy to approach. Laughs super loud and is actually v shy. Super playful and loving, caring for those close to him. Not one for anger unless provoked

Aries Female: Loves to argue with people but never means to hurt their feelings, passionate about who and what they love, actually super lazy but athletic. Creative as fuck and very cuddly

Taurus Male: Quite at first then super funny and loud, pretty random and like never cried. Really handsome and very fashionable, a born smooth talker and kinda insensitive

Taurus Female: Worried about something literally all the time, very sweet and scared of being a burden, likes to have fun and party, super chill and loves babies

Gemini Male: laughs a lot, super awkward but actually not awkward at all, open about certain things but also extremely closed off about others, loves videos games and fun people

Gemini Female: everyone thinks you’re a Bitch at first, super funny and actually really smart, random facts all the time about anything (usually never on topic), likes clean and kinda crowded spaces, loves people but hates them all

Cancer Male: really weird sense of humour, happy being alone, loves family a lot, refuses to let go of past relationships, super shy at first, hard working, actually a sensitive nerd

Cancer Female: actually super indecisive, never fucking tells you if they’re upset, loves random adventures as long as they have people they love with them, Netflix binges are a normal things

Leo Male: cocky as fuck but super insecure, loves attention, somehow always has money for food, laughs at his own jokes more than he laughs at other peoples, “what should I do with my hair?”

Leo Female: aggressive, likes to tease people (in a loving way), loves but hates being teased back, cries whenever they feel they’re not good enough, exaggerated storied, really funny

Virgo Male: unique style, cries when they get pissed off at someone they love, constantly stressed out, simple things make them laugh really hard, not very good at telling jokes, loves people way too much

Virgo Female: bad ass TBH, easily attached, cute style, lots of stories to tell, being around them is comforting, seems to have their life together basically all the time, lowkey freak

Libra Male: knows so many people but considered like 10 of them their friends, easily excited, good advice, good at making decisions for everyone but themselves, introvert who loves people

Libra Female: makes lots of weird noises, always has a story to tell, actually really stressed out, laughs a lot, constant confusion, “what should I do/get/pick/say/eat/buy/etc.?”

Scorpio Male: a dick in a funny way, quite at first, not afraid to tell you if you’re annoying, loves to tease, shares pics about sex on fb

Scorpio Female: will fight you, not afraid to talk to strangers, loves being home and doing nothing, hood playlists, dreams about relationships, their stories are important

Sagittarius Male: fuck boy, funny as fuck, not very loud, drinks a lot, rebel who cares too much about everything, once they’re attached they stay attached

Sagittarius Female: school makes them cry, lots of relationships that last a long time, cute style but wants to look bad ass, willing to fight u, memes

Capricorn Male: really quite but somehow everyone knows them, videos games all the time, can’t express feelings and breakdowns like one a year

Capricorn Female: actually pretty loud and fun, hard to keep in touch with, can’t fall out of love with that one person, critical of a lot of things without meaning to be

Aquarius Male: knows like everyone, meme master, laughs when you laugh, not talk to them for a year and then easily pick up convo like nothing happened

Aquarius Female: super cheeky, doesn’t really argue about anything, chill as fuck, loves loud and fun people, fascinated by people and the way they do things, delicate but will kick ur ass if they have to

Pisces Male: not good at expressing things, shy, v giggly, resting Bitch face, loner, comfortable to talk to

Pisces Female: aesthetic snapchat, love fun and lowkey dangerous things, once they hate you they hate you, weird sense of humour, in their own world

How To Avoid Drinking Your Paint Water And Other Art Tips

  •  See the coke up there?  it’s in totally the wrong place.   KEEP YOUR BEVERAGE AT 4 O’CLOCK.  or 5, if you’re a leftie.  Keep your paint water on your table in front of you, and your beverage off to the side so that you have to physically turn around to get at it.  You will teach your brain that Drink Is Over There, Not On The Desk; your coffee will last longer that way, AND YOU WILL AVOID SPILLING IT ALL OVER YOUR WORK.
  • if you DO spill your drink, cover the page and call it “Organically Dyed Paper”  it ain’t coming out, run with it.
  • Instead of 7-hour continuous playlist, listen to albums so you’re stopping every 40 minutes or so to change the music THEN STRETCH YOU FOOLS.
  • Alternate caffeinated beverages with non-caffeinated.  your hands WILL start to shake if you keep mainlining coffee like that.
  • get this freaking pencil sharpener.  yes, that’s a lot for a sharpener, but this SOB will work forever, won’t eat pencils, and gets you the finest points possible.  this has been stress-tested by scientific illustrators and I promise we are the pissisest possible people when it comes to pencil points.  Mine it literally 6 years old now.  it’s great. (Yeah, yeah, it’s missing from the pic.  Have a backup in case of forgetfulness.)
  • DO NOT ATTEMPT TO ART IN POOR LIGHT.  this means both too little AND too much.  You eyes, brain and spine will all thank you.  This mean making sure you’ve got direct, full-spectrum light indoors (it’ll make laptops and winter easier too, I promise) and wearing sunglasses outdoors.
  • FUCK PRISMACOLOR PENCILS.  The pigment’s good but the binder is brittle and breaks, and the wood is frequently warped.  literally 1 in 5 of the last prismacolor pencils I’ve had were totally unusable.  Faber-Castel is comparable in price/sometimes cheaper and had very high quality.
  • like, not shitting on cheap art supplies, because god knows I use them all the time, but pirsmacolors are EXPENSIVE and having the lead snap for the 7369205790235969th time will give you a goddamn stroke.
  • Remember to Eat maybe????
  • about every 2-3 hours, get up, leave the room, and do something else for at least 20 minutes.  Do the dishes maybe.  Gives your eyes and shoulders a break, lets your brain re-set and you’ll be able to see things that Need Fixing when you get back.
  • FOR FUCKS SAKE, USE REFERENCES.  All the greats did, you’ll stress less, and things will look so much better.  Just google image the sucker.
  • srsly eat something.  even some cheetos.  pls.
  • ok kids it’s 3AM i’ll think of more in the morning.  take care of yourselves.
8

About a year and a half ago I hated taking full body pictures because I didn’t have much confidence but One day my friends decided that I needed to take more pictures because they thought I dressed nice and that I was pretty & from that day on they became like my personal photographers (all pics taken by them). Idk what happened that day but from there on my confidence has grown tremendously and they can’t get me to leave them alone 😂😂 what can I say I love the camera.
Happy Big Girl Appreciation Day 💕
I hope somewhere out there a big girl finds her light, her confidence & some good ass friends 😁

Lin-Manuel Miranda’s dressing room is literally a bedroom, albeit a very small one. The kinetic 28-year-old star and composer of In the Heights, the new pan-Latino pop opera that celebrates the Inwood-Washington Heights neighborhood Mr. Miranda grew up in, has outfitted his room at stage right like an 8-year-old boy’s, with items that speak to his own affinities, not his characters’. There are Transformers sheets for the bunk bed that’s above his dressing table, a television set and PlayStation 2, and a G.I. Joe Cobra Commander poster on the door. The stuffed monkey next to his pillow isn’t a transitional object, he said. It’s a prize from a claw machine in Times Square. “I’m only good at two things,” Mr. Miranda said, “writing music and the claw. And I’m unbelievably good at the claw.” He proffered his guest book, which has been signed by his parents, his grammar school music teacher and his director, Thomas Kail, who wrote, “You are all hype.”

Besides the bunk bed, the other notable feature of this closetlike room is its grass cloth walls, put there, as the bed was, for Joel Grey when he played Amos Hart in Chicago in 1996.

[Sources: Setting the Stage, Offstage on The New York Times; pic by Tony Cenicola, HQ version from LinMiranda.com]

Things confirmed so far from all this red carpet stuff
  • Tarjei Sandvik Moe has 0 chill and loves to tease us
  • Pretty sure Henrik believes in soulmates and that Tarjei is his acting soulmate (the NATURAL connection man!!)
  • Tarjei probably takes pics of him and Henrik shooting makeout/bed scenes and sends them to Lea like “hope you don’t mind if I borrow him for a bit”
  • They’re mature and aren’t annoyingly ‘no homo’ about their roles
  •  Henrik is charming af
  • Our soulmate is the interviewer
  • They’re both good kissers and think it’s fun to show up and just do that for a scene in s4
  • everyone is just at that award show for them (lets face it it’s true)
  • apparently they get egged on at parties to make out (and they do it too)
  • they deserve the world
4

Wanna be part of the Institute of Planar Research and Exploration ???

This community has been so kind and giving, I want to give something back. So I offer you all the high-res file to print this sticker at home! Dress in red and spread the good word of science!

Print this sticker and put it wherever the hell you please, because we Red Robes do what we want.

ALSO:

I’d be happy to see pics of wherever you put the stickers!!!

anonymous asked:

Top 10 kinks people know Yuuri and/or Victor has and how they know it? I'm such a huge fan of everything you write and thought this could be a fun idea!

Ten Kinks People Know Yuuri and/or Viktor Has and How They Know It

10) Praise Kink - Both of them, but Yuuri especially, are really into praise style dirty talk. Chris found out about this when he was staying in the hotel room next to them and found out just how much Yuuri likes it when Viktor praises him and just how much Viktor likes doing it. The walls were thin, they were loud and he didn’t get much sleep that night.

9) Marking - Everyone knows about this one because of the amount of bitemarks/scratches/bruises/lovebites they both always seem to end up with. It gets especially bad if one of them gets possessive for some reason. For example, once one of the other skaters at the rink was flirting with Yuuri a lot and the next day Yuuri’s neck looked like he’d been attacked by a wild animal it was so covered in marks and Viktor was looking very pleased with himself

8) Phone Sex/Skype Sex - Especially during their time as long distance boyfriends before they moved in together. Yuuri was usually pretty good at not doing it when Phichit was around but one day Phichit came home from college early and heard them having pretty graphic Skype sex in Yuuri’s room before turning and walking straight out again. Yuuri also had a habit of leaving his phone lying around unattended and so Phichit has accidentally seen a grand total of twelve suggestive texts, eight incredibly graphic texts, 3 nudes and 1 dick pic, all courtesy of Viktor.

7) Pet Play (but not really) - In reference to an earlier top ten about presents, where Viktor got Yuuri a collar for Vicchan with his name in Japanese and Russian and when the name was translated the Russian was just the Cyrillic for Viktor. Yurio found it and in horror assumed that the collar belonged to Viktor. When Vicchan showed up wearing the collar they all realised the mistake but the Russian team found the whole thing hilarious and there was a period of time when the whole Russian team actually thought that Viktor and Yuuri were into pet play.

6) Spanking - Phichit overheard a conversation that he promptly tried to forget straight away because that was information that he did not need to know about his best friend. Then later he realised what great blackmail material it actually made and teased Yuuri mercilessly about it for days afterwards

5) Light Bondage - Chris found their handcuffs in the bedside drawer when he was staying at their apartment and looking for Yuuri’s glasses at Yuuri’s request. As a thank you present for being good hosts he sent them a much better and more expensive pair of handcuffs after he left.

4) Role Play - In reference to an earlier top ten about a fan who was tweeting about seeing them role playing in a hotel bar

3) Exhibitionism (of a sort) - Neither of them have a full on exhibitionism kink but they both enjoy the thrill of the risk of being caught so they’ve had sex several times in semi-public places. As mentioned in a previous top ten, Chris found this one out by walking in on them having sex in a bathroom during the European Championships when Yuuri had promised Viktor a reward if he won.

2) Clothed Sex - A reporter once asked Yuuri if he would consider wearing the Eros costume to skate again one day a couple of years after he had last used it. Yuuri replied that he’d like to but he couldn’t because the costume had been ruined. When the reporter asked how it had been ruined he went bright red and refused to answer.

1) Language Kink - Literally everyone in the world knows about this one because they are very unsubtle about just how much they enjoy it when the other speaks in their native language

i love florist aus, but my family’s owned a flower shop for like 40-ish years and i’ve grown up around, involved and working in it…. and it makes them hard to enjoy sometimes lmao.

  • i have been around flowers all my life and i know more about flower meanings from fanfictions
  • god, stop…. no, those flowers don’t go together….
  • that’s not how you keep that plant alive
  • that’S NOT HOW MUCH THAT SHOULD COST
  • stop romanticizing carnations cause carnations suck and they’re cheap as fuck and they’re most often used for FUNERALS regardless of color please stop
  • long stemmed roses are similar and only one step up from carnations
  • you can’t just slap any old shit together.  you have 3 main types of flowers in any arrangement: the ‘show’ flower, ‘filler’ flowers and ‘accent’ flowers.  plus add something green you heathens.
  • everyone??? hates yellow for some reason??? actually i can give props to fanfic for that cause they show off yellows more than i actually sell them…. which is a shame i love yellow flowers.
  • i fucking hate all my customers i WOULD NEVER DATE ANY OF MY CUSTOMERS THEY’RE THE FUCKING WORST
  • it’s the worst when they come into the store and buy all this loose shit and be like ‘i’m gunna make my own :)’ like fuck you…. i could make that ratty shit look GOOD for less than you’re spending but OKAY I GUESS.  (then it looks like shit when they post pics on facebook.  and they claim credit for making but NOT WHERE THEY GOT THE FUCKING FLOWERS)
  • there is this one old bitch we get every year, comes in for vase arrangements for her husband’s grave…. sad, but i HATE HER.  she tries to stand over our shoulders and boss and bully us and has us change the flowers used like 12 times and no matter what we make her she’s a fucking cunt acts like its not what she ordered so she can get a discount.  fuck you, you old bitch.  i made this arrangement 74583754 times you’re not getting shit.
  • why would you draw a bouquet before you make it… they’re flowers, just make it and if it looks bad take it apart???  they’re not glued there forever.
  • you WILL have skills on wrapping and bow making even if you don’t desire or think you need these skills
  • catch me in the shop blasting screaming angry metal when no one else is there (i think the flowers like it too)
  • Me: -fists the stems of a bunch of roses- Person: “doesn’t that hurt??? the thorns.”  Me; “they have learned to fear their god c:” (protip: it doesn’t hurt after a while my hands are SO ROUGH)
  • no one likes hanging around in the greenhouse as much as you think they do
  • a leaf cut is like a paper cut only the devil himself comes to rub salt in it
  • sweetie, i know it’s ur special wedding day but stop YELLING AT ME cause you picked out these ugly ass flowers i TRIED to talk you out of it and i did what i could with them, okay?!
  • the only joy i get is when children come into the shop to buy things….
  • but not when moms bring their brat ass children who want to mangle all the fucking flowers
  • this job has made me hate everyone around me
Reactions to Harry + Draco dating...

My headcanons for how everyone reacted when Harry + Draco announced they were dating:

Ginny Weasley Knew before they did and encouraged Harry to ask Draco out. Rather than face her older brothers’ and parents’ well-intended attempts to “cheer you up a bit”, Ginny then spent three months back-packing through South America. Luna flew out to join her on a trek to Machu Picchu. By the time they got back Ginny was so giddily in love that her mum could, finally, relax and get to know Draco.

Luna Lovegood Nodded happily and pointed out that “Draco has been in love with you since 5th year”. Harry and Draco gaped at her and then each other. Draco in horror, Harry in delight. They then disappeared for 40 minutes, reappearing with slightly red eyes and massive grins. From then on Harry stopped telling people “I’m dating Draco” and started saying “I’m in love with Draco”.

Ron Weasley Got Harry drunk one night and labouriously explained that a person does not sacrifice themselves for their best mate during a giant enchanted chess game, survive a dunking in the Great Lake, face down giant spiders and spend an eternity camping with them while on the run from “a noseless snake-botherer”, only to then ditch said best mate just because he has the bad taste to develop a ferret fetish.

Hermione Granger Honestly had no idea. When pressed she admitted that Harry’s fixation with Draco at Hogwarts had been a bit obvious but, what with running for Minister of Magic, launching the SPEW foundation, chairing the Muggle-born outreach program, consulting on the rebuilding of Hogwarts, moving in with Ron and learning to crochet, she really hadn’t given Harry’s love life much thought.

Pansy Parkinson Was happy for Draco, despite avoiding Harry out of embarrassment over the whole “trying to hand him over to the dark lord… thing”. Nothing Draco said could persuade her to spend more than 10 minutes in Harry’s company. Until one day Harry turned up at her office, spirited her away for a long lunch and explained that if he was going to marry Draco he would need some help choosing the rings…

Narcissa Malfoy Ignored her husband’s outrage and spent two hours reassuring Draco that Lucius would come around before fixing Harry with a steely smile and suggesting they take a turn around the Manor rose garden. Harry refused to tell Draco what they talked about but he did agree to spend every other Christmas with the Malfoys in the South of France.

Lucius Malfoy Came around.

The Weasley family Were worried about Ginny for a while. Then George noticed his Mum knitting a giant, lime green ‘D’ onto an electric orange jumper and they all felt a lot better.

Dean Thomas Didn’t say much but two weeks later an owl arrived with one of Dean’s Hogwarts sketchbooks. It was from their 8th year and included multiple sketches of Harry and Draco covertly watching each other across the Great Hall. Harry was mortified. Draco has one of the sketches framed on his desk.

Seamus Finnigan Was still demanding “pics or it didn’t happen” at Harry and Draco’s 10 year anniversary celebration.

Reasons Taeyong is THE Cutest Human

-WILL throw down his life for food

-took care of his winwin while the bby struggled with communicating 

-completely whipped for winwin

-”booming system uh uh ty tract ty track”
-apologized and cried multiple times for something a false rumor

-“helloooo johnnyyy 👋🏻👋🏻”

-literally was ready to tell staff to fuck off and call 911 over doyoung pretending to be sick 

-is SOOOOO excited over elephants

-literally loves the minis like his kids “dont lift him(jisung) too high the bby gets scared”
-yuta: i think he just wants to be loved im crying
-”what goes around comes around”
-“friendship vs love” taeyong: friendship! johnny: love! taeyong: 😒😒😒 
-can actually freakn cook and is basically the only functioning human in nct aka the only person that cleans
-soooo excited over cameras in the car in nct life lmao
-looks rlly intense but then he giggles and that idea flies out tha door
-”i keep the house key(with a pic of him n his noona) so im always ready to go home” here come tears
-king of the blurry selfie
-”im catching pokemon hehehe”
-hes so clumsy tho lmao
-without a second thought gave winwin some rice when bby win fcked his up 
-yixing likes bby tae and if xing likes someone that all the proof i need to know theyre a good person tbh
-literally has, carries, reads, and recommended a book about how precious life is and how you can be happy and you are a precious person. a book that gives messages to motivate and recharge your self-esteem and makes you realize you deserve to be happy im crying again

anonymous asked:

I'll be honest. I may have pleasured myself looking at your recent pic in glasses. Wow you are a gothic beauty.

I don’t usually reply to messages like this but because I woke up to this message and had a full day of getting whistled at, shouted at, and followed, I think something has to be said.

In all honesty, this is not okay. I don’t want to know this, I don’t need to know this. Frankly, it is disgusting to know that after I post a selfie from a day when I for once felt good about myself someone does this. There wasn’t even anything that is generally considered sexy or revealing in that photo, it was just me being happy about my looks. For once. Do you know what I did when I walked back home from town today? I cried. I literally cried because my day had started and ended with unwanted encounters that made me feel really unsafe.

When I joined Tumblr we would share selfies and get comments and tips on our outfits and make-up from other alternative people. Nowadays I get more comments from people who get pleasure from whatever things they imagine goth girls or girls with glasses do. It literally makes me want to delete my blog and leave this site, because the community has mostly moved to Instagram and this is what has replaced it on this site. I was here for inspiration and community, not to be reduced to two aspects of my appearance and getting creepy messages about it.
I wear glasses because my vision is impaired. That’s literally it. I don’t wear them to fulfill a librarian or a MILF fantasy. I have to wear them in order to go about my daily life, so I don’t get run over by car and so that I can see further than half a foot from my face. There is nothing sexy about them. I also don’t do my make-up or outfit to fulfill someone’s goth fantasy or to be their imaginary dominatrix. Goth clothing does not equal sexual practice, and tells nothing about my sexual activity. Heck, even bondage wear does not equal bondage practice. You don’t know me in that way and you never will, you don’t even know the most basic things about me. I don’t exist or post selfies on this site for anyone’s sexual pleasure. In no way have I expressed that I want any of this and I do not take requests on how you would like me to look for your pleasure, as you have asked me after sending this. 

You might think these are nice messages. You might think you are being polite. But honestly, unless they have stated that they want them, these kind of “compliments” make the recipients uncomfortable. They are not okay. They are not romantic, they are not nice, and you are not the only one giving them. There is nothing special about them and they are unwanted. I do not want to wake up in the morning only to read about a stranger’s sexual activity that was inspired my selfie. If you think I’m a gothic beauty because you appreciate the subculture, thank you. If you think that because it gets you off, there is zero reasons for me to know that.

Needless to say I won’t be posting any new selfies for a while.

Since people like Modern AU Sasuke 
How about Modern AU Naruto?

-outdoors boi

-he hardly spends any time inside tbh

-unless he’s hanging out with his boi Sasuke

-is part of the Best Eyeliner Squad with Garaa and Sai

-WILL binge watch cartoons and come out of it a changed person

-lowkey depression

-like “ha ha I’m fine trust me”

-but hangs out with Garaa on his depressed days for naps and talks

-annoys his classmates with his fidgeting

-like tapping and bouncing his leg he just wants to Go

-always has on bandages either he got in a fight protecting someone or he hurt himself trying to peel an orange there’s no inbetween

-a MessTM

-seriously if he hung out in a place for more than five seconds he probably made a mess there

-MEMES

-literally became a school meme once he was so proud

-loves video games but Sasuke and Suigetsu always beat him

-he’s really good at RPG games tho

-unironically loves taking selfies especially with other people

-his photo library is filled with moments of him with his friends

-he also likes taking pictures of things in general

-especially when he finds things pretty

-“Naruto why do you have a pic of me sleeping”

-“…because, Sasuke, you look photogenic in your sleep.”

-get ready for every Bi pun in the world because he has all of them

-really gay for Sasuke and everyone knows except Sasuke

-It’s his fault kinda he doesn’t know how to flirt or ask someone out

-everyone has a small crush on him at some point

-collects random rocks to gift to his friends

-it is Important ok

-getting a rock from the sunshine boi means he loves you

-getting more than fives means he’s IN LOVE with you

-aka Sasuke Uchiha has 20 rocks

-Sasuke does not understand he’s being asked out via pretty rocks and Naruto is suffering

-“Sakura how do I ask out Sasuke”

-“Idk try to do it like a normal human”

-long story short it ends with him getting punched but also getting what, to this day, he names the best kiss of his life

-it was a good day

softbrobucky  asked:

A belated Bucky birthday prompt: Steve's a waiter at a heavily themed restaurant (think Rainforest Cafe) and he's tired of people blatantly lying to get the over-the-top Free Birthday Dessert. It's Bucky's birthday and he wants his over-the-top Free Birthday Dessert. He may also want his cute waiter's phone number.

All of the dishes mentioned in this ficlet are actual dishes off of the Downtown Disney Rainforest Café menu.

— —

Steve Rogers has had it with these motherfucking college kids coming into motherfucking Rainfoest Café and ordering motherfucking free desserts when it’s not even their birthday. This happens at least once a shift, some group of giggling college first-years who don’t have good enough fakes to get into a bar, snorting as they say it’s Christie’s or Jeremy’s birthday and snapping pics on their cellphone as Steve brings out the Sparkling Volcano — a stack of mediocre brownies covered with vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, chocolate sauce and caramel with a motherfucking sparkler stuck on top. The Sparkling Volcano is a pain, the fact that these kids never calculate the $17 that the Sparkling Volcano costs into their tip is a pain, and capitalism? Yeah, that’s a pain, too.

So when this table of formerly well-behaved people start giggling and elbowing each other when Steve brings the dessert menu over, he knows it’s game over.

“Don’t do it,” says the hot guy who (somewhat inadvisably) ordered the Caribbean Coconut Fried Shrimp.

The woman who ordered the Tribal Salmon grins. “It’s his birthday,” she says.

“Oh man, she went there,” says Kale & Red Quinoa Salad with Chicken. He’s pretty cute, too.

“Shut up Sam,” says BBQ Bacon Cheeseburger.

“You’re all assholes,” Caribbean Coconut Fried Shrimp says. BBQ Bacon Cheeseburger giggles and nudges Kale & Red Quinoa Salad with Chicken. Kale & Red Quinoa Salad with Chicken rolls his eyes, but is smiling.

Steve hates them all.

“So, we’ll have one of those chocolate lava things.”

Steve — who is a good employee and a good person — does not sigh like he would like to. Instead he turns to Caribbean Coconut Fried Shrimp, plasters on a smile and says, “Happy birthday!” knowing in his heart of hearts that it is not, in fact, this guy’s birthday. The way that Caribbean Coconut Fried Shrimp kind of slumps in his chair only confirms this to Steve. He turns back to the rest of the table. “One Sparkling Volcano coming up. Can I interest you in something to go along with it? A Maya’s Mango Sorbet or a Raspberry Lemonade Freeze?” The ‘that you’ll actually pay for’ is implied.

“No, just the Sparkling Volcano,” Tribal Salmon says.

Steve feels the corner of his mouth twitch. “Alright. That’ll be just a few minutes.”

“Motherfuckers,” Steve mutters after he puts in the order for the cake. He had liked that table. They had seemed nice. He could’ve sworn that Caribbean Coconut Fried Shrimp had been checking him out.

Instead they’re making him bring a free hassle of a dessert. Fuck them.

He has enough time to check on two of his other tables before the Sparkling Volcano is up. He looks at the gloppy mess, says a little prayer, then lights the sparkler.

There’s an art to getting to the customer’s table with a lit Sparkling Volcano; it takes time and a certain grace. Steve isn’t quite proud of the fact that he’s been at Rainforest Café long enough to have mastered that art — this is still just a day job that he does to support himself while he makes actual art — but he does have the act down. He grins and he walks to the table, ready to sing the Rainforest Café non-patented birthday song.

And then BBQ Bacon Cheeseburger says, “Holy shit, that’s awesome. Let me get this on camera!”

The next few moments are kind of a blur. One second Steve is bending over to put the Sparkling Volcano down in front of the birthday boy, the next BBQ Bacon Cheeseburger is hopping up and into Steve. “FUCK,” Steve says as he loses his balance, eyes going wide as he falls back, sparkling dessert falling back onto him.

“Clint!” Someone shouts.

“FUCK,” Steve shouts again as the Sparkling Volcano lands on him. He grunts as the sparkler hits his skin — the neck, of all places — then quickly pushes it off of him. As the chocolate sauce extinguishes the flame, Steve just lets himself lay on the ground, neck throbbing. He notices that the “storm” has started and nearby electronic gorillas start pounding their chests and grunting as thunder cracks.

It feels appropriate.

He notices Caribbean Coconut Fried Shrimp get down on the ground next to him. “Jesus,” he says. “Just tell me,” Steve says, eyes feeling heavy. “Is today really your birthday?”

Caribbean Coconut Fried Shrimp looks down at him with his very blue eyes. “Yeah,” he says. “Why?”

“No reason,” Steve says, then passes out.

— —

Steve is sitting in the employee back room holding a cool washcloth to his neck when Caribbean Coconut Fried Shrimp walks in. “Hey there,” he says.

“Hi birthday boy,” Steve says. “Sorry I couldn’t sing to you.”

Caribbean Coconut Fried Shrimp smiles, a little sheepishly. “I told them not to order the stupid cake,” he says.

“I should tell you that it’s fine for something, but honestly? I really wish that they hadn’t.”

Caribbean Coconut Fried Shrimp barks out a laugh. “Sorry, sorry,” he says. “They thought they were being cute.” He kind of shuffles his feet, looks down. “It’s my first birthday since getting sober. They wanted to do something fun, so they gave me the choice between Rainforest Café and Chuck-E-Cheese. I chose Rainforest Café.”

Steve feels himself soften a little. “Sorry that it turned out this way.”

“Well,” Caribbean Coconut Fried Shrimp says, shoving his hands in the pockets of his peacoat and looking up at Steve, “it was going pretty good until my friend Clint knocked over the cute server I wanted to ask out.”

Steve blinks. “What?” he asks.

“God,” Caribbean Coconut Fried Shrimp says, running a hand through his dark hair. “I feel like such an ass, but if you wanted to maybe—“

“Yeah,” Steve interrupts. “I do.”

Caribbean Coconut Fried Shrimp drops his hand and looks at Steve, surprised. “Really?”

Steve shrugs. “Can’t be much worse than being burned by a free dessert.”

“I think Natasha left you a really nice tip.”

“Good,” Steve says. “Then maybe I can get you a decent dessert.”

Caribbean Coconut Shrimp grins. “Yeah?” he asks.

Steve nods. “I’m Steve,” he says.

“Bucky,” Caribbean Coconut Shrimp replies.

“Happy birthday, Bucky,” Steve says.

“Well,” Bucky responds, “it is now.”

poly!yorktown x reader hc's

anon request;; poly!yorktown + s/o headcanons!! :)


•George is the most reserved in the relationship

•but like,,, he’s still like,,, super affectionate ya'feel?

•y'all got a biggg bed bc 6 people in a queen bed doesn’t work out v well (california king bed to be specific)

•you and Alex sleep in the middle since y'all are the smallest

•of if you’re taller, than you sleep next to Herc (who’s last on the left) or George (who’s on the right)

•pls let George know he’s loved a lot bc sometimes it can be hard to distribute equal love to six people and since George came into the relationship last sometimes he feels like he’s not loved as much,,,

•their contact names in your phone are v interesting

•George is ‘dad boyfriend™’

•Alex is ‘my lil author’

•Laf’s is ‘french fuckboi’

•Herc’s is ‘Hercules the god’

•yours in their phone is all the same

•'princess/prince/prinxe (for my gender neutral dudes!) (Y/N)

•also,,, there’s a groupchat with all of you in it and it’s always blowing up (courtesy to Alex constantly talkin shit and being shady)

•lmao one time George and Alex were in a meeting and Alex was sitting texting in the gc talking shit about jefferson and jefferson sAW THE MESSAGE ANS HE WAS SO MAD IT WAS SSO FUNNY. GEORGE WAS TRYING HALFHEARTEDLY TRYING TO BREAK IT UP JSJSHSH

•Herc sometimes works from home so when you get home from your job (you come home first. john, Alex, and George all carpool together) he’s making dinner and the whole house smells heavenly and he’s cleaned up a bit. let’s face it he loves the domestic life

•Laf is always napping. a l w a y s. one time you saw him, Alex, John, Herc and George all napping together on the couch and you took like 600 pics it bc was the cutest thing ever.

•speaking of pics, jfc Alex has 0 space on his phone.

•bc he has 3000 photos. of all of you together. and some cute candids of you, Herc, Laf, John, and George.

•omgggg John makes separate music playlists for each of you he’ll think you all will like and he gives them to you at the end of every month and they’re so good and he puts so much thought into it and he’s such a soft puppy protect him

•make sure they get a gold amount of sleep at night. all of them.

•let!! them!! nap!! whenever!!

•you and Herc force John, Alex and George to eat a real meal for breakfast.

Favorite timmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmme, my FAVORITE THING TO DO. IT’S TIME FORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR WWE COMMENTARY WITH SHANNON YAYYYYYYYYY though it should prob just be called Wrestling Commentary with Shannon bc I do people out of the wwe sometimes too. 

Growly baby, grr. 

LISTEN LISTEN OKAY HE LOOKS SO CUTE AND LOVEY HERE WOWEE WOW I am in love wow

Listen to me, this gif. Thsi fucking gif is the sexiest thing I have ever ever ever seen in my entrie life. LIKE THE HAIR PUSH BACK THE LITTLE BREKTHY TURNING INTO A SMIRK LIEK LSGM.G mfl

HE IS BITING. AND HAS MOUTH GUARD. BITING. MOUTH. GUARD. BELT. Too much, overload sorry goodbye. 

Like, this pic is super hot but all I can focus on in knee bear. Who I have named Koda. After Brother Bear. 

HOW HOT, HE LOOKS SO GOOD GOD DAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMN. 

Like, I don’t think I’ve ever watned someone to flip me off more??? How is he so hot? 

He looks so good in this outfit, like this whole ensemble is 1000/10. Tie me up with the tie, I would be okay with it. 

Sweet lil baby peach. :’) I love this so. 

okay okay okay but hear me out… Imagine him looking up at you like that when you’re scolding him or something, like and you look back and you’re like what? AND THEN BAM YOU GET FUCKED. 

In case you all didn’t know I AM IN LOVE WITH THE MOUTH GUARD OKAY THANKS BYE

He looks so cute here. Like one of those pop punk band bassists or something okay. (also looks like a fuck boy but eh) 


He looks so good in this jean vest thingy??? Like??? WH Y D OESN’T HE WEAR IT MORE BURY MY ASS IN THIS VEST. 

Cute lil baby peach :’) Honestly can you believe. 

Come bite me next daddy. 

Okay but lemme tell you. How fucked this picture has me. WHY IS THIS PICTURE SO GoOD TO ME WHAT THE FUCK OKAY HIS HAIR IS DOING THE OVERWORKEd FLIPPY THING YOU KNOW YOU KNOW AND HE’S PROBS PANTING AND SWEATTY AND  AOJ:SFLCKCMRCGJIO WHAT THE FUCK I AM OFFENDED. 

He looks so relaxed and gym ready here I’m. 

OKAY BUT LOOK AT BABY PETEY PEACH I AM SO HAPPY AND LIKE HE LOOKS SO GOOD???? WAS THERE EVER A TIME HE DIDN’T LOOK GOOD? NOPE, NAH, FOREVER SERVING LOOKS> 

This. This fucking. Image. OF bEAUTY OKAY YOU GOT THE VEST THING THAT I HEART EYES SO HARD AND HIS HAIR LOOKS SO FANTASTIC AND HES GOT THE WRIST BANDS AND THE TIGHT PANTS AND TH E G AUGE AND I AM JUST CAN YOU HEAR ME SCREAMING IN THE DISTANCE? 

Listen. Listen okay. This picture has got me fucked up for more than one reason. FIRST OFF HIS DOG IS SO CUTE I LOVE? SECOND, LIL STUD HAS HIS LIL STUD IN LIKE HOW CUTE DOES HE LOOK WITH A NOSE PIERCING I AM SCREECHING IT IS SO GOOD TO ME, THIRD, HE’S DOING THE BEANIE AND HOOD LOOK WHICH IS ONE OF MY FAV THINGS, I KNOW IT IS KINDA DOUCHEY LOOKING BUT I LOVE THE BEANIE HOOD THING I AM JUST NKCOSLDF: IN AWE. 

“Shannon how many biting pics do you have?” Ya know what, maybe if this BOY DIDN’T BITE EVERYTHING IWOULDN’T HAVE THIS MANY, HOW ABOUT THAT CAROL? 

SEE SEE, LOOK HE BITES EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE, IT’S NOT MY FAULT BABY HAS A BITING KINK (even though, pls I am available to be bitten.) 

Look how cute and sweet he looks here okay, I LOVE HIM RIGHT HERE THIS PICTURE IS SO GOOD TO ME LIKE WHEN I DID A CUTE LIL PIZZA DATE THIS IS WHAT I IMAIHNED OKAY

Yeah, you guys, he was Team Rocket ADN HE FOUGHT PIKACHU I AM IN LOVE WITH THIS BOY

Lil bean took a selfie in a giant bean

GLORIUS PHOTO, HANG THIS EVERYWHERE I WANT IT PLASTERED ON EACH OF MY WALLS. 

Contribution to bae’s @hardcorewwetrash Thirst Party Saturday. 

ScarletVision kissing scene, the theory.

I’m writing this theory when I should be studying for my Anthropology class for tomorrow. I’m tired, it’s 00:37 am, and I have a full mug of coffee with hot chocolate in front of me. I would rather die than say that this was not worth it

Let us begin

Keep reading

so I just had a pretty incredibly exciting celebrity run-in on the bus home from work (in Vancouver). I was sitting across from these two ladies who were talking to the girls beside me. As soon as I saw them, I immediately thought I recognized them as the White-Faced Women from Netflix’s A Series of Unfortunate Events.

Their faces, their glasses, their hair, their voices were all a perfect match, and the way they talked to the girls and joked off of each other clearly pegged them as actors. Given that ASOUE was my favourite book series for years and years, there was no way I couldn’t say anything, so I hesitantly asked if they were who I thought they were, and lo and behold, it was them! (Joyce Robbins [Woman 1] on the left of my pic, Jacqueline Robbins [Woman 2] on the right).

They were on their way back from a long day of shooting season 2, and they were raving about how amazing the new season was, even bigger and better than the first. They gushed with affection for the books and how Netflix has lovingly brought it to life with such great accuracy and creativity, Daniel Handler’s amazing writing skills for paper and screen, all the crew that make it possible, and the endless fun of working with Neil Patrick Harris. They had spent a good portion of the day working on learning a dance with him, and were both exhausted from it. I commented on how it made sense, then, that their hair was done up like that, since they’d just come back from filming. They revealed that they always wear their hair like that, and that Netflix liked it so much at the audition that they made it a part of the costume, and even put it in the wigs they wore for disguises.

They also asked me stuff about me, and I could barely get words out in my giddy excitement. It was pretty pretty cool. The people around us on the bus didn’t know what they were from, but were smiling fondly at their enthusiasm about their show and their work and my enthusiasm about meeting them!