this photoshoot will never get old

Conor Maynard Imagine - Photograph (SMUT)

For the past few days, you have been frustrated. Really frustrated. At some point during the past week, you started seeing Conor with different eyes. Suddenly, you wanted to be more than his friend, more than his go-to shoulder when he was upset. And it was all because of that fucking cover.

Not a song cover, but a magazine cover. Gleam had managed to get Conor into the cover of UK’s most important fashion magazine, and you were regretting getting a copy. The photoshoot featured inside, a 5-page-long fucking shoot, had your insides tingling. You had never seen him look so sexy, so ready to pin you up against the wall. And God, did you want him to pin you up against a wall.

Your favourite picture of him was strategically kept at the bottom of your drawer, as if you were a crazy ass 13-year-old fangirl. Shame? None. He was sitting down on a wooden chair, his chin lifted up slightly. His eyes were closed, his hair too bed-like for you to handle, and his left hand was grabbing his pants. He was biting his lip, and so were you.

That’s why, when he asked for your help with a video, you had struggled not to imagine him biting his lip, head thrown back in another situation that involved you kneeling down in front of him. Because that was all you really wanted.

Jack had told you he had a thing for you, but you knew it was smart not to trust Jack with everything he said. Since then, you thought you had seen him looking at you in a different way, yet you still thought you were imagining it. But you were tired of playing games. Lately you have been craving his touch, and not in the friendly way it always happened. You didn’t know where your obsession with Conor had come from, or why, but you sure were more than fine with it.

You were behind the camera, checking that everything was going well as Conor and Anth sung whatever they were recording. Your mind could only focus on Conor’s voice, and how good it would sound if he moaned your name with you on top of him. You sighed deeply.

“Sounded great, guys” you told them once they finished off “Don’t get me wrong, but I didn’t know you could sing so well, Anth”

The boy laughed, making you smile “It’s really a pleasure to surprise pretty girls like that” he said, and you saw Conor giving him a look by the corner of your eye.

You didn’t like Anth like that, and you well knew you weren’t his type - Jack had told you how he was trying to get with an LA blonde chick. But it didn’t mean you couldn’t have some fun with the situation “It was a pleasant surprise, indeed” you told him, and then you winked at him just for the sake of it.

“Let me see if we need to do another take” Conor said coldly, grabbing the camera from your hands without even looking at you. You knew that serious expression on his face, and you were enjoying every second of it.

“Want to stay for a drink, Anth?” you asked him, ignoring Conor right besides you.

“He’s going out shortly, aren’t you?” Conor interrumpted, not even letting his friend speak up.

You noticed Anth was going to acept your invitation, but after Conor’s words, he changed his mind. He could tell his friend was annoyed for some weird reason, and the last thing he wanted was to get him upset “Actually, yeah” he said. You raised an eyebrow “I’d love to, but I’m in a rush tonight. Maybe some other day, Y/N”

He smiled at you, and you smiled back at him “Sure” But you were pissed off. It was not because you wanted Anth to stay, but because Conor had no rights to uninvite people from your plans.

“Okay, no need for a second take” Conor informed you after a few minutes.

“Right, then” Anth said, grabbing his jacket from the desk “I’ll see you tomorrow, mate. Bye, Y/N, thanks for your offer again”.

And with that, he left. When you heard the main door closing, you turned your head to Conor, who had his eyes fixed on the video “What the hell is wrong with you?” you snapped, getting him to lift his gaze.

“Hey, what did I do?” he sounded confused, yet you noticed a slight sass on his voice.

“Anth wanted to stay, but no, pretty boy over here had to be a dick about it and remind him that he had to be somewhere else” you crossed your arms in front of you.

“He really needed to be somewhere else” he said. After what seemed like three hours, he spoke again “Sorry I ruined your plans to flirt with him, if that’s what’s bothering you”

Your mouth hung open “Excuse me?”

He chuckled sligtly “Consider yourself saved” he said, and you adopted a more defensive position “I love him, but he’d leave you the morning after”

You raised your eyebrow again “And why do you even care?”

He left the camera on his desk, and walked towards you. You took a step back as the sudden image of him on that chair filled your thoughts again “Because you’re my friend” he smirked, and you couldn’t tell if he was joking or not.

But you sure knew it was a game for two “Right” you mumbled “If you were a real friend you’d have encouraged me to get with him, if that’s what I wanted”

He laughed, and you suddenly felt ridiculous. Maybe your attempt to look and sound tough wasn’t working as well as you had planned “I don’t think that’s what you wanted, love”

You gulped as he took a step closer to you. It was impossible that he was insinuating himself to you, you were probably just imagining things. But then, your eyes met his and you instintively bit your bottom lip.

“You don’t even know what you want yourself, let alone what I want” you said, your words stinging on his chest.

He shook his head, and lifted up his thumb to chew on his fingernail, his eyes never leaving yours. You could tell he was nervous “Right, I see you wanna play” he mumbled, and before you could take in what was happening, you found yourself pressed against his body, the cold wall behind you sending chills down your spine.

He pressed your foreheads together, his lips hovering at yours “I fucking know what I want” he whispered, his voice sending you on a state even more intense than his pictures had made you feel “And it’s you

Your lips immediately pressed against his hungrily. You cupped his face on your hands while his roamed your body, pressing it closer to his. You moaned inside his mouth as he deepened the kiss, wanting nothing more than to have him inside you. Because you couldn’t take it anymore, and the friction you had been making between your legs wasn’t helping anymore.

“I need you inside me, badly” you moaned, unable to keep teasing around anymore.

“How bad do you need me, princess?” he asked you, already unblucking his belt.

“Conor, please” you begged as you felt his lips on yours again. His hands travelled to the small of your back, gripping at your sides in such a hot yet caring way it was driving you insane.

You jumped up and wrapped your legs around his waist, as he started walking towards his bedroom. However, the steamy pressure your lips were making on his neck made him stop halfway, and he placed you up on the kitchen counter instead. He attacked your lips again, your hands instictively going to his bulge. You massaged it tightly, trying to get him to react. He moaned into your neck, making you tighten your grip.

You jumped off the counter to remove your leggins, as he did the same. He grabbed your waist and pulled you up again, pumping his now bare member with his hand. You opened your legs, admiring his actions in front of you, because you couldn’t count with the fingers of both hands how many times you had imagined yourself in that situation.

Eventually, Conor slid inside you in a swift move, giving you no time to adjust to his lenght. You let out a high pitched scream as he thrusted in and out. Your arms wrapped around his neck, holding on for dear life as his hands were on your waist, steading your body as he rapidly pounded inside you against the kitchen counter.

“Fuck, Y/N” he moaned, his face hidden on the crook of your neck. Your walls clentched around his member, making your both whimper in pleasure. He went on for a couple of minutes until he hit your spot, and you screamed his name in arousal, and he wasn’t able to take it any longer.

“Conor, that was…” you whispered as your head rested on his chest, recovering from your previous actions.

His arms tightened around your bare skin, and he kissed the top of your head “I love you, Y/N” he whispered back, catching you off-guard “I couldn’t see you flirting with Anth when all I wanted was to have you like this” he breathed out. He kissed your head again “My princess” he whispered to himself.

You lifted your head to look at him. You placed your hand on his cheek, caressing it carefully “Hey” you smiled “It’s fine, Con” He took your hand and placed a soft kiss on it.

“Let me at least take you out on a date?” he smiled, as you saw your cute old friend Conor Maynard again, instead of the hot mess in that photoshoot, and suddenly you realised you loved both way too much.

“I’d love to” you smiled, before leaning in and kissing his soft lips again.

And Tomorrow, Too

(part two of TONIGHT YOU’RE MINE)

pairing: jikook
length: one shot, 4K words - second part to ‘tonight you’re mine’
genre: fluff, non au
rating: pg-13
warnings: mild swearing, too much fluff you might die. i haven’t proofread so ignore errors for now please~

summary: “tonight you’re mine, and tomorrow, too.” last night, jungkook and jimin became more than just friends. today, more-than-friends is the best thing they could ever ask for. 

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Sometimes I look back in my journals from when I was 13 and 14 years old. Every night, I would write about how badly I wanted to be a musician and to be known for making music – and how badly I wanted to be on the stage, and how badly I wanted that to be my fingerprints. I wanted to be known for the words that I write and the songs that I sing. And that’s never changed. At no point have I ever lost perspective that I am so incredibly fortunate to get to do this.


Because I couldn’t help myself and I ended up writting the AU I sent (like it usually happens)

I’m still working on the reveal part but I’ll submit it later I guess?

“You did WHAT?” He mouths out in a low voice as the brown eyed guy next to him takes out some books from his backpack and places them inside his locker.

This is horrible. No, this is disastrous. No, this is the epitome of his bad luck. He’s praying to each and every deity he has ever heard of and some he isn’t quite sure if he got out of some video game of if he’s making them up as he goes for the ground underneath him to open up and swallow him whole.

“Dude, chill,” is the relaxed response Nino gives him, with a knowing lopsided smile to match. “I got you a date with Mari”

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[INTERVIEW] 151226 CL for Elle Korea: “Mirror, mirror”

ELLE KOREA: Although you’ve done many different kinds of photoshoots thus far, a feminine beauty concept like this is quite new for you isn’t it? It seems like you’re gradually getting into that feminine age.

CL: Yeah, since I’m 25 years old. To be honest, I’m going to make a confession here… I’ve actually never thought of myself as feminine. Haha. But I think it is fun now that I’ve done a feminine concept like this. Nevertheless, since I’m a musician, I tend to connect all the works that I do back to music and I think today feels rather jazzy?

EK: What kind of woman do you think is the most beautiful?
CL: Other than gender, confidence is the most important of course. I think that someone is most beautiful, sexy and cool when they are confident.

EK: We know that you’re a perfectionist as a (music) artist, but are you a perfectionist with makeup too?
CL: I’m currently working hard at learning it. Make up is of course, important to me as I’m photographed a lot in my line of work. A slight touch could make the entire face look different and it also looks different on camera and off camera. I carefully check on the things like the coverage I’m getting, the contouring and my eyebrows though.

EK: Which part do you pay attention to the most?
CL: Firstly, it’s the eyebrows. There’s a particular shape that I like. And also because I’m known for my eye makeup, I pay a lot of attention to the eye line and eyelashes. Usually, a lot of eye makeup techniques are tailored for those with double eyelids. It’s awkward when applied just as is to me as I have monolids. So I’ve researched and learned a lot about that.

EK: Actually you do have beautiful facial features, such as your forehead, nose and chin.
CL: Ever since my debut, my answer to the question ‘Where should I get cosmetic surgery on?’ has always been ‘Just the eyes’. Haha. Well… even though I have lots of imperfect parts. I haven’t gotten eyelid surgery though. I think having not done it has allowed me to be able to try lots of different looks. I think of it as a strength as that is good for my job.

EK: I’m curious about what you have in your beauty pouch.
CL: I carry the basics in it. Maybelline’s Age Rewind Concealer, Maybelline’s Fashion Brow Duo Shaper which I use to fix my brows, false eyelashes and a curler, lip balm and other things.

EK: If you were to give us a tip on your signature eye makeup?
CL: I’m going to explain it carefully for everyone who puts on their eyeliner thickly like me. Firstly, you can’t just use one product! I used to do it in just black, and with just one type of eyeliner but instead, first apply Maybelline New York’s Eye Studio Gel Liner and get a rough shape done, then use (Maybelline’s) Hyper Sharp Liner in Brown to fill in the details and you’ll definitely get a much more softer and three dimensional look.

EK: I wonder what your vanity looks like.
CL: I really have a lot of makeup. I like to just buy them first even though I don’t need to use them yet. I’ve bought so many lip balms from all over the world that I don’t even know how many I have.

EK: I didn’t know that a beauty interview with CL would be this fun!
CL: That’s because I really like beauty!

EK: You’ve always kept your hair dyed. How do you take care of it?
CL: My hair is really damaged and dry since I bleached it in elementary school. That’s why I work really, really hard at taking care of it. I use lots of treatments at home. Not only do I take care of the care but I also take good care of my scalp. Did you know that your scalp affect the elasticity of the skin on your face?

EK: Now that we’re talking about elasticity, your skin is really firm. You don’t even have smile lines.
CL: I like taking care of my skin at home. Actually, I don’t have the personality that lets me lie down at the skin clinic for a long time. I get frustrated and also tend to think a lot. Instead, I put on lots of different face masks at home while taking a bath. I also believe that it’s important to take care of the basics, so I think that exercise and managing your eating habits are also important.

EK: “A secret beauty habit that only I do” is..?
CL: I stretch my face as soon as I wake up in the morning. I make strange expressions, say ‘ah eh ee o woo and also stretch my neck. And then I would take a bath. What’s good about baths is that you can’t use your smartphone then. Spending 15-20 minutes without your phone, listening to music, meditating and not doing anything, is really time well-spent.

EK: Your secret to maintaining a firm body?
CL: I used to be the kind to exercise really hard when I’m active (as an artist) and to totally not do it at all when I’m resting. But I’ve realised the importance of health and balance recently, so I’ve been exercising consistently. I take walks at the mountains behind our house with my sister. Ah! And recently, I’ve fallen in love with Zumba. I’ve always loved dancing and I attended a (Zumba) lesson with friends and staff in the US. It’s something really embarrassing but fun… The point is that it’s funny when you’re doing it seriously.

EK: These days, a lot of youth lack self-consciousness or blindly follow others such that they are unable to love themselves. For example, they would edit the selfies that they post on Instagram to the point that it looks like a different person.
CL: Yes, that’s the reason why people that exude confidence are the most beautiful and charming in my eyes. Actually it’s something to think about for me too… how much editing I would have to do for a photo that I take… since I’m showing it to the public. You have to know which look is the real you. Without comparing yourself with others and just focusing on yourself.

EK: What sort of woman do you wish to be in the future?
CL: Hmm… I just hope to age as ‘me-like’ as possible.

EK: Do you have a role model?
CL: It’s not just one person. I have one for emotional/psychological needs, one for style… there are lots. It’s difficult to specifically name someone. I just simply want to be healthy, and be me!


It has been close to a year since i have started this incredible journey.

Total weight lost till date: 110lbs
Dress size: uk 12/14
Height: 5'10
Starting weight: 300lbs

Things that i have learnt to truely understand after a year of weight lost and 24 years of fighting obesity:

1. Happiness is a choice. You are how you feel about yourself.

2. Confidence is the most importantly thing in the world. No matter what dress size i wore, i genuinely feel that i deserve to love and love by others. I’m beautiful no matter what reflects on the scale.

3. Losing weight is to be a healthier version of me. So that i can see my children grow old.

4. Being healthy is a lifelong journey. It never ends. Cheat days are also inevitable. 😜

5. Most importantly, learn to love yourself. Because only then, you can start to love others.

Of cos still 40lbs from my goal weight and it has been really slow progress this 2 months. Now that I’m 80% recovered i hope to get on track very soon.

Goal: To be weighing at 150lbs for my wedding photoshoot in December.

Set tiny achievable goals to keep yourself going!

Keep smiling! You don’t know whose falling in love with your smile right now!


Sam Winchester Imagine- Jealous Longing

A/N- Sorry i didnt post yesterday guys >.< But I’m posting today and I hope that makes up for it :) Requests should be open in the next few days, I’m almost caught up!! But I have 16 requests sitting in my inbox already 0.0 I love you guys, and I hope you enjoy :) {Credit to gif owner} I know this was supposed to be a Dean imagine, but it felt more like a Sam one to me, so i just switched it. I hope you’re okay with that anon <3

  Dean’s POV

   "Sam , I need help.“ I was rushed, talking fast. My head was spinning out of control with thoughts and doubts. "Now you admit it? I mean, I know better late than never, but damn..” Sam chuckled and shook his head. “No, seriously,  I-I cheated on Y/N..”

    My breathing started to calm as Sam turned his head slowly to me. “What?” The ’t’ was sharp as he looked straight at me. It felt like he was staring lasers into me as the moment passed. “She’s not it for me, Sam. But I know I shouldn’t have done it…”

 Sam’s POV

    I wasn’t the one he cheated on and it felt like knives in my heart. “You lucky son of a bitch..” Quickly, I jumped up out of my seat, fisting his shirt in my hands.

   Dean stared at me, his expression went from regret to stern. “Why would you do that to her?” I pulled him slightly forward and slammed him back into the wall. “I told you! I’m not exactly proud of it!” Dean spoke through gritted teeth, my grip loosened and he shrugged me off, stomping to his room.


    Dean walked into the room, pushing the door open hard enough that it hit the wall and bounced back. “Dean?” You asked fast, but stern. “What?” He was snapping at you, as if you did something wrong. “What the hell is up your ass?” You asked, mad that he was treating you like you did something.

   Dean turned to the wall, his back towards you. Leaning on both arms, he put his head between them. “Y/N I-” Bursting through the door, Sam came in. “I need to talk to you.” His chest was huffing from running down the halls. “Um.. Okay..” You spoke suspiciously, looking between the two men. Dean shot a glare at Sam,  pushing himself off the door.

     Setting down the clothes you had been folding, you looked past Sam into the hall. As you passed Dean, you looked away, closing the door behind you. “Okay, so what is it?” Your heart was beating faster, worried about the outcome. “Dean.. He.. Y/N- he cheated on you..” Sam was having a hard time getting the words out, just as you were trying to comprehend them. They must have hurt just as much to say as they did to hear..

   Sam’s POV

      Y/N’s face contorted as she began to sob softly, her arms were crossed on her chest, and she appeared to be squeezing herself as a comfort. “Hey, please don’t cry..” I lifted her head with my thumb, searching her eyes as they began to turn red, the tears falling from her cheeks. “Sam, I don’t know what to do.. Or say..” She looked so flustered and I didn’t know what to do. Instead, I just pulled her in, hugging her tightly, hoping I could hold her together even for just a moment. 

  8 Months Later 

      For the first few weeks, you and Dean avoided each other, giving short, longing glances. But after a month or so, you had finally moved out, having Sam and Cas help you. Speaking to Sam every night, you found that, according to him, Dean wouldn’t stop talking about you. Apparently he missed your presence . 

      Rolling over on the soft mattress, the photographer snapped multiple pictures a minute as you smiled, your finger tip resting in your teeth. “Perfect, sweetheart..” She said, taking a few more before snapping her fingers. Sitting up, you walked to the dressing room. “Hey, what’s up?” You asked your manager as she stood in the middle of the floor. Walking over to your next outfit, she began talking. “So, even though you aren’t a Playboy, Hugh wants to get you in to be Miss March tomorrow if that’s a thing you would be willing to do. Oh, and he’s paying handsomely for it, too..” Tapping away at her tablet, she looked up at you as you slipped the baby doll on. “Of course, I would love to..” You smiled, knowing exactly what you planned on for this one. 


     “So did she get you the gig?” Sam’s small giggle at the end of his sentence made your heart skip a beat as you talked to him on the phone. “Yes, I told her I would take it. I want to move out of this condo anyway..” You were up to your chest in bubbled hot water, having your nightly bath. In front of  you, you stared at the skyscrapers as you laid your head back. “Didn’t you just move there, Y/N?” Sam chuckled, and you could hear him shake his head. “Well yes, but there’s another condo a few floors up. The one I was looking at when I moved into this one but it wasn’t for sale yet..” You half whimpered, looking down at the white bubbles, blowing lightly to pop them. 

     “You want me to come over then?” Sam asked, and you smirked at his words. “Of course I do..” You cooed, hoping he got the hint. “I’ll be over next week, alright? Plus, we’re still working this case in Michigan…” Sam scoffed, the case was one Dean had picked just because he hadn’t been to that part of Michigan yet. 


    You walked down the hall to the elevator, going down to the lobby to get the boys. “Sam!” You yelled, running and jumping into his arms. He held you for a long moment, his scent washing away your thoughts. “Hey Dean…” You smiled, genuinely okay- and moved on from him. Dean half smiled, not enthused with being there. “C’mon up..” You said, turning and purposefully swaying your hips so they saw. 

      The second the door opened, Dean’s mouth about dropped on the floor. “Wait- is that?” Dean was pointing to the large framed picture of your ‘Miss March’ photoshoot you had leaning against some boxes. “No, it’s Betty Crocker.” You spoke sarcastically, Dean’s eyes full of a familiar lust. Your stomach twisted a bit at the look, but you drew your attention back to Sam. 

     “I’m going to have you start with me in my room while Dean ogles over my photoshoot.” Sam looked around your room, not having been in there since you moved in. “Why would you leave this view?” Sam pressed his hands on the glass wall, looking down at the streets. “Trust me, wait until you see the new views..” You picked up a box, Sam following at foot. “Dean, grab a box, c’mon!!” 


      Infinite boxes, aching arms and legs, multiple bottles of water and a large pizza later, you , Sam and Dean sat on the couch in your new condo, staring at the lit up city. “This could never get old…” You spoke, taking a drink of your ice tea.. Sam nodded, his hand resting on top of yours. Dean hadn’t said much, but he stared at your pictures often. “Sam, I’m going to steal Dean for a few minutes, okay?” You asked, looking at Dean’s surprised face. 

   He followed you as you walked into your room, beginning to open boxes. “So, why did you need help?” He asked, watching you. “Well, one, I’m just putting up decoration. Two, I didn’t need help, but we need to talk.” You took out a picture, you and Sam after a case you had done, covered in blood. In the back, you can barely see Dean, scowling at the two of you. Three weeks after the break up…

    Dean’s jaw clenched as he looked at the floor then back up at you. “We’re still friends Dean. Even if you don’t want to think it. I still love you, even if it’s not the same love I felt back then. I still care, just as I always have. But I will never forgive you.” Putting the photo on your desk, you walked back over, pulling out a picture of you and your mother. “I just can’t let that go. And I think it’s fair. But you can’t act like you don’t care too…” Doing the same with that picture, you stopped when you turned around. 

    “But Sam and I, we’ll be what’s meant to be, and you need to move on. I don’t want you hanging on to me.” You were looking right at him, your eyes locking with his. He was upset, but he released his tongue, licking his lips. “Okay.” He said,  short but fast nods coming from him. “And Dean?” You asked, watching him stop in his tracks. “Yeah?” He looked back at the floor, his body still. “Let go, but don’t forget..Okay? Because I never will…” You had walked up behind him and put your arms around his waist. He stiffened, but turned around, his arms around you. “I won’t…” He choked out, his lips kissing your hair.

My anti-drinking-and-driving message is dedicated to my brother Brad, who inspires me to face life’s realities every day.  Not everyone has a perfect life. Sometimes it’s hard to believe that even the person you think might “have it all” actually doesn’t. I’m the perfect example of this. Three years ago, I lost my brother in a drinking-and-driving crash. Brad was 18 years old. People are supposed to die of old age, not from a liquid drug out of a bottle. Like any other death, this was unimaginable and extremely hard to deal with. I’ll never get over the loss, but I have learned ways to cope with it. [Shelley Hennig]

ye great big homestuck story post

see like, i wasn’t gonna do this post because im a weird hipster who hates doing stuff everyone else is doing but then @imbirds did one and i mean you’re kind of an asshole if you don’t do one after your fiance writes one and mentions you so 
this is kind of part homestuck and part cosplay in general
so im in 4th year uni right now, actually, about ending my 4th year, and you know what? to this day, i haven’t made a single close friend in ubc at all. all the friends that ive made that i talk to regularly have been because of this fucking comic. like, i literally have a fiance because of this fucking comic.
back in 2013, i was in my first year of university, living with my dog, just having come out as trans after getting out of my mom’s house. 2013 june, which is when i first went into homestuck, i had literally spent an entire year of my life cooped up in my tiny on-campus apartment, with my dog and my then cat, in a situation where i could honest to god go weeks without speaking a single word, because i never left the house, i never spoke to anyone but my friends from highschool alex and lee, who would come over to visit me. i would go to class, come home, occasionally buy groceries, and walk my dog. the only interaction with people was from the dog park which i went to often with rydge, and then never spoke to the other dog people other than talking directly to their dogs. just to give you a kind of idea of exactly how isolated i was. 

honestly, i wasn’t even intending to go to ae 2013, where i first encountered vanstuck. after meeting my ex at fanexpo earlier that same year, and going through the abusive truck drive that bullshit was, i had no intentions of going to more conventions, since i wasn’t good at cosplaying, and i had no money. but my sister, who my mom sent to me for the summer, wanted me to cosplay karkat, i think for her jade blog, or something, and karkat looked easy enough, plus, this kid was literally me in middle school, angry, small, shouty, with equally sentient hair. so i slapped on some gray paint and roughly made some horns. i made my first clawsickle too, that i ended up giving away at tsukinocon 2014 in a homestuck panel, because i wasn’t good at much but i was decent at props. on friday of ae, my social anxiety was so bad i was pretty much having anxiety attacks the entire day. people complimented me on my clawsickle and other homestucks smiled at me because i was also homestuck and after a year of isolation that was clearly TOO MUCH SOCIAL INTERACTION but also it was amazing and awesome?? vanstuck ended up being the first place i actually came out as trans and found nothing but acceptance. i stayed up all night that friday night sewing a godtier because all i wanted to have was for someone to want a picture of my cosplay, and at the time, the godtiers looked so cool and i wanted to be a part of that too. i mean, obviously, on saturday, the godtier group wasn’t there, but you know what i did meet @imbirds, who did trickster john on friday and i briefly talked to, and godtier dave on saturday. i thought he was so fucking cool. i thought everyone was so fucking cool and i couldn’t believe they were actually talking to me and that these people actually liked the bullshit cosplay that i managed to pull together. 

like look at that shit. you see that? that was my first sewn cosplay, it was just the cape and i handsewed it on friday night for 8 hours with lee and my sister’s help, because i wanted that badly to be included. literally none of that is sewn right, the hood is entirely bullshit and tears, that’s my actual hair but not cut short enough for karkat, there’s ben nye everywhere because someone told me i just needed sealer and not powder too and my clawsickle was made of 2lbs of model magic, not even fully dried, because even in 2013 as a wee bab homestuck i wanted desperately to stand out and be acknowledged in some form. that’s the fucking bullshit @imbirds met me in and still thought, wow, that’s a person i would like to get to know. 

but you know what? ive never gotten more compliments on my cosplay before vanstuck. vanstuck was honestly just– like, i remember coming back home to my apartment and ranting to alex and stuff about how it was literally the most amazing thing ever. that the people were so friendly and accepting and encouraging and there were picnics and events and just. ive been in a lot of fandoms. ive been in fandoms before some of my friends were sentient human beings. and homestuck was and still is the first fandom ever, where people would walk around, SEE OTHER HOMESTUCKS THEY DIDN’T EVEN KNOW and just invite them!! to events! like the photoshoot! Panels! fucking picnics!! how do i even describe what that felt like to a kid who just came out, still untreated with depression and anxiety and a host of other bullshit who hasnt made a single friend all year? there was something magical about those days that i realized now ive been trying to get back and i just cant find it, either because im never going to be that awkward 18 year old again or just that vanstuck was honestly such an amazing organized group and nothing like that is ever going to exist again for me. 

like, prior to homestuck, i did three cosplays, none of which i made, and none of the fandoms of whom ever, ever actually included me, because i was young, 14ish when i went to my first con, and had no idea how to put together a cosplay. you wanna see my shit now?

those are from last year. thats a fancytier and a godtier

the militarystuck karkat in the centre, that’s the third ever homestuck cosplay i made in 2013 summer, for C&E. i didn’t end up getting boots or pants because i ran out of money, nothing was sewn right, as usual, like, i dont even think i planned on ever making that, because it seemed impossible, but this fucking. there was literaly just this militarystuck group that didnt have a karkat and i asked if i could join and they didnt know who the fuck i was and they just. said yes??

that’s militarystuck also from a year ago. but like, just…
i never planned on getting into cosplay. my day used to be MADE just with someone recognizing who i was, three years ago. 

ballgown dreamer karkat, in 2013, i made that because i started getting?? recognition?? for?? cosplay?? like that’s fucking amazing. people LIKED the shit i made. people thought i was GOOD AT THINGS. ive literally NEVER been good at anything in my life before homestuck.

dreamers in 2015 emerald city comic con with @imbirds whom basically since we’ve met ive been doing everything with. 

idk i know this post is getting really off track but like. i just. dont know where i’d be if i never got into homestuck? i met so many amazing people though it, i didn’t fucking kill myself because i had COSPLAYS TO DO and people would LIKE MY COSPLAYS and thats?? incredible?? and tbh im so glad that the fandom i went to, that vanstuck was so, so welcoming because i would have never ever gotten to the level i am now with cosplay if the fandom had genuinely been shit and had torn me down. i wouldve never gotten to where i am now where im actually happy with my life, where i have things to look forward to, where i can fucking make cosplay plans for 5 years later because im actually going to live to five years later because i want to live to five years later and ten years later and fifty years later and i hope im this tiny old man screaming at kids on my lawn and still reminiscing about 2013 when some kid gave me a granola bar and now we’re married and someone told me hey i like what you do for the first time in my life.

the last two are from a week ago, emerald city comic con 2016. look at me. look how far ive come. 
i know there’s shit homestucks and the fandom is problematic like any other big fandom and you can hate the comic and hate the fans all you want but tbh i’d be dead if i didn’t decide to slap on gray paint that friday of ae 2013 and dragged my ass to the con. because that was honestly the starting point of basically everything good in my life

Never Enough (Niall Horan Smut)

Originally posted by darknarrie

Summary: Photographer!Niall has a new muse, but she isn’t so easy to keep her hands off. Inspired by Never Enough by One Direction.

Requested: Yes

Warnings: Smut and swearing

A/N: I changed the request a bit and I’m not great with smut so sorry. I never proof-read this so I’m sorry.

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