Hey! Your Kevin x Joaquin fics are to die for! Not sure if you're taking requests right now, but if you are, could you do one where Kev and Joaquin are just walking around aimlessly together, then Kevin realised they're at the place where he found Jason and the memories come back and he panics and Joaquin just holds him and calms him down? And it's just suuuuper fluffy? Thanks a bunch! And if you end up writing this, may I please be tagged? Thank you! xxx
Sweet Water River
Word Count: 1.5k
Genre: Starts out angsty, ends up fluffy
Warnings: graphic descriptions of death, alcoholism, panic attacks, guns, a lot of talk about death, like alot
Note: I strayed slightly from the prompt, apologies I hope you still like it. All of Joaquin’s backstory is my headcannon. If you haven’t read my other fics, Sebastian (a.k.a. Bas or Bastian) is Joaquin’s older brother. Also I forgot how old Joaquin was so he is seventeen in this.
Kevin had really thought that he could do this. He didn’t think that it would affect him this much. Why was it affecting him this much? He was walking hand in hand with his beautiful boyfriend alongside the bubbling river, and he knew that he shouldn’t be thinking about Jason. It was impossible no to though. All he could picture was the boy’s dead eyes, the hole in his head, the way his skin had somehow grown even paler with death, the way the water had darken his hair, making in red like blood. Kevin had never really liked Jason, but seeing someone who had once been so full of life and spirit, he was captain of the football team for god sakes, seeing someone that vibrant be completely washed out, all signs of humanity ripped away. Kevin couldn’t take it. He just couldn’t. He didn’t realize that he was crying until Joaquin’s thumbs were on his cheeks, brushing the tears away.
“Hey hey.” Joaquin comforted, pulling Kevin to come sit down on a nearby rock. The river rose just enough to cover their toes. “What’s wrong, Kev?” Kevin just shook his head, mind still reeling with the memory of tripping over the dead boy. “Kevin. Kev, I need you to breath.” Joaquin tried not to let Kevin see just how nervous he was. “Breath with me baby.” Joaquin took a deep breath, slowly letting Kevin match his pace. He gently rubbed his hands up and down Kevin’s arms, trying to calm the other boy.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s happening.” Kevin responded as soon as his breathing evened out. He could still feel his heart beat racing, as if his heart was trying to escape his body. He felt like shit. Why couldn’t he keep it together? He had seen dead people before, his dad was the goddamn sheriff. He saw crime scene photos in his dad’s office all the time. He could vividly remember his mom’s funeral; he remembered how she looked all made up and calm in the silk lined coffin. Her eyes were closed, though. Jason’s had been open. Kevin had looked into Jason Blossom’s dead eyes. He had stood beside Sweet Water River, just looking into those eyes while Moose called Kevin’s dad. “His eyes were so lonely Joaquin. How could someone dead look so lonely?” Kevin finally looked up from his trembling hands to make eye contact with Joaquin.
“I don’t know Kev, I really don’t know.” Joaquin ran a hand through his hair, trying to decide if he was ready to share this with Kevin. He took a deep breath, “I want to tell you about my family.” Joaquin mumbled, taking Kevin’s large hand in his smaller one. “But I think we should probably get out of here first.” Kevin nodded, standing up and wrapping his arm around Joaquin’s waist before beginning the walk back to Kevin’s dad’s truck.
Joaquin didn’t let go of Kevin’s hand. Not while he was driving them back to the Keller residence, not when they made their way up to Kevin’s room, not when Kevin gently kissed him and pulled him onto the bed. Joaquin didn’t know if he would ever let go of Kevin’s hand.
Kevin almost had another panic attack as they walked back to the truck, but he didn’t. Joaquin’s hand was firm in his, grounding him and keeping him present. He was sure that Joaquin was just humoring him, not letting go of his hand, but Kevin couldn’t describe how important it was to him. He needed this. He needed Joaquin because his heart beat was still racing. It didn’t calm down until he was lying in his room, surrounded by familiar sights and breathing in Joaquin’s familiar scent.
Kevin and Joaquin were lying on their sides, facing each other. Kevin kept leaning in to brush his lips against Joaquin’s, a ghost of a kiss. He found it reassuring, feeling the warmth of Joaquin’s lips under his. He could feel the serpent’s heart beat where their chest were pressed together. When he looked into Joaquin’s eyes, they were full of live and passion and, love? Kevin wasn’t sure. Was it too early for love?
“Kev, can I tell you about my parents?” Joaquin whispered, avoiding eye contact with the taller man. Joaquin didn’t know why it was so important for him to tell Kevin about this. Maybe he thought it would calm Kevin down. Maybe help Kevin realize that Joaquin really did understand what he was going through. Cause Joaquin knew exactly what Kevin had meant when he had said that Jason’s eyes were lonely.
Kevin sucked in his breath. He didn’t know if he was ready to hear about this, but he wanted to be there for Joaquin the same way Joaquin had been there for him. “Absolutely.”
“I read somewhere that, after the age of seven, our brains delete most of our memories from early childhood. But my brain must have malfunctioned or something, cause every night, for thirteen years, I remember my parents.” Joaquin paused, closing his eyes and gripping tighter on Kevin’s hand. “I was four when they died, and Bas tells me that I’m making it up, that I’m remembering it all with rose colored glasses or something. I don’t think he’s ever gotten over it.” Joaquin paused again and Kevin opened his mouth to comfort him, to tell him that he understood, but Joaquin interrupted him. “Kev. If you start talking I don’t think I’ll get through this.” Kevin just nodded, resting his forehead against Joaquin’s and closing his eyes, inviting the boy to continue.
“Sebastian and I were in the car when my parents died. My dad was drunk, Sebastian says he can’t remember our dad ever being sober. But my mom. My mom was trying to calm him down, trying to get him to stop yelling and to pay attention to the road. I remember her last words. How fucked up is that?” He laughed angrily. “I’m seventeen and I remember my mom’s last words. She said ‘Honey, calm down. You’re scaring the children.’ And he said ‘Why do you think I give a rat’s ass about the children?’ And then we hit the black ice, and the car spun off the road. Bastian was only 14, he didn’t know what the hell to do, so we just sat in the car until 911 showed up. I remember looking at my mom, blood dripping down her forehead and just knowing that I would never forget the look in her eyes. She look so sad and lonely.” It was Kevin’s turn to bring his thumbs up to wipe away tears. He pressed a kiss to both of Joaquin’s cheeks, as if to erase the tear trails. Joaquin’s breath shook. “Kev, I want you to feel comfortable around me, okay? I need you to tell me if you aren’t okay with something.” Joaquin finished, trying to let Kevin know that they never had to go back to Sweet Water River again. Kevin smiled at him.
“I do feel comfortable around you Joaquin. I just, I thought I could do it.” He shrugged, “I was wrong. I just kept picturing him, wondering how he must have felt in those last seconds, facing down the barrel of a gun and just knowing that this was the end. That you were about to die.” Kevin’s breath had begun to accelerate again.
“Kev, calm down. Breathe okay, in and out. In and out.” Joaquin traced calming patterns on Kevin’s hand. Kevin slowed his heart rate, but looked at Joaquin inquisitorially.
“How do you know how to deal with… whatever these things are?”
Joaquin sighed, “I told you Sebastian had never gotten over it right?” Kevin nodded. “Well, he had panic attacks sometimes. I, uh, I had to figure out how to deal with it.” Kevin was incredulous.
“Joaquin, you’re seventeen.”
“Well observed preppy” Joaquin chuckled.
“Shut up,” Kevin hit his shoulder, “I mean, you shouldn’t have to deal with this kinda stuff. You’re still a kid.” Joaquin smiled sadly.
“So are you. But you know what your mom’s last words were too. And you can’t go to the river cause of a dead kid.” Joaquin seemed to realize something, “We live in Riverdale Kev, we are as normal as kids get in this town.” He smiled, his hand was still in Kevin’s, and he used it to pull the taller boy impossibly closer to him, connecting their lips.
Kevin sighed, deepening the kiss and forgetting about the shit they had been through. He was happy to just be with his boyfriend. To kiss his boyfriend and hold his hand and know that nothing could ruin this. This was his and this was perfect. He threw his leg over Joaquin’s, straddling the boy and furthering the kiss. He finally released Joaquin’s hand, bringing his up to slide under Joaquin’s shirt. Joaquin whimpered into Kevin’s mouth.
Kevin pulled away, smirking.
“I love you.” He admitted, biting his lip. Joaquin smiled, before flipping them so he was on top, straddling Kevin.
“I love you too, preppy. Now shut up and let me kiss you.”
“Sounds like a deal.” Kevin giggled and relaxed under Joaquin’s lips.
Should I start putting these under a cut? I think maybe I should. Some of them are pretty long.
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