What sort of content would the Akatsuki post if they had an Instagram? You can see their Tumblr posts here.
Pein likes to post images of quotes. Like the kind of “inspirational” text photos you see on the internet with pretty backgrounds and fancy fonts. All of the quotes are his. Some are a little disturbing.
Currently has: 24 followers.
Konan uses Instagram religiously. She posts everything: her origami, photos of nature, of Pein, of her bedroom. There’s even one of Kisame sleepwalking. She hashtags a lot, so she’s gained quite a few followers (she follows back almost everyone too).
Currently has: 899 followers.
Posts his clay art with the hashtag #betterthansasoris on every single photo. No one really knows what it means. If people say it looks bad he argues back before reporting and blocking them as he doesn’t take criticism very well. People tend to follow him just for the hilarity of it.
Currently has: 1010 followers.
Doesn’t really post on instagram. He has about 4 photos posted. Three are of Hiruko. The other is of Deidara shaving his legs that he uses as blackmail.
Currently has: 100 followers, surprisingly.
His Instagram is aimed at promoting the organizations that help stop the illegal finning of sharks. Actually, there’s only one organization. It’s his. He doesn’t have too many followers (although there is one user named “suigethoes” who comments on EVERYTHING).
Currently has: 37 followers.
Itachi posts baby photos of Sasuke. A lot. He posts at least once a day and often reposts photos because he doesn’t really have too many available. People adore them, though. Sasuke found the account once. He deleted his own account shortly after.
Currently has: 900 followers.
Hidan has had around about 20 different accounts that have all been banned. He just keeps making more because he finds it hilarious. The reason being is that he posts very very gruesome photos of his sacrifices. He’s got a backlog of them so he doesn’t really ever run out of content.
Currently has: 3 followers. But it fluctuates, obviously.
Kakuzu tried Instagram. Once. He tried to use it to have people donate money for his ‘medical bills’. When people asked him for proof he deleted his account and never went back.
Currently has: 0 followers.
Obito, under the disguise of Tobi, literally just posts photos of Deidara. It doesn’t even matter if they’re good or not. He’s got super pretty looking high resolution photos and super blurry close ups of Deidara eating. Deidara has reported the account many times but nothing ever gets done about it.
Currently has: 3000 followers. Deidara isn’t happy.
Zetsu either posts in bulk or doesn’t post for months. It depends which side of him is using it at the time. Black Zetsu never posts anything; White Zetsu posts photos of plants. He posted a close up of his flytrap once to see if anyone could tell it was him. No one could. He was ecstatic.
Matt looks precious in that new photo!!! He's lost more weight I think though??
[x] Super adorable! It looks like he’s wearing a sandwich board lol. He does look thinner than “normal” Matt, but I think he’s been thin for a while now as he films The Last Tycoon, since Monroe Stahr is supposed to be very thin. Still looks great, tho! :)
Drew welcomes the model to a grocery store, the location for their next photoshoot. He explains that the shoot is inspired by a Chanel runway show.
Ehh, I’d guess it has more to do with how under-budget it was for ANTM to rent a bodega for the day, but inspiration can come in many forms! Honestly, when I first saw the preview for the shoot, I thought the real source of inspiration was this meme:
Somehow, half the models can’t even manage to hit this mark, though.
Speaking of inspiration, the designer responsible for the day’s outfits is Nicola Formichetti, the man behind Lady Gaga’s outrageous looks. To determine which model will wear which dress, he meets with them one-on-one to discover their essence.
Nicola repeats a phrase we hear a lot this episode, and countless times in Top Model past: “Wear the dress, don’t let the dress wear you.” It’s a meaningless cliché at this point, but the intent is obviously to indicate that the models shouldn’t let the dress overpower them. That’s a lot easier said than done in avant-garde dresses that are designed explicitly to steal all the attention.
When Nicola meets with Giah, he wants to transform her into a bombshell. Possibly literally.
Actually, she’s assigned something equally as explosive: balloons. We can’t even tell that she’s got balloons under her tutu until later, though, which made this quote especially outrageous:
Is Giah smuggling cocaine in her anus?! The winner of ANTM 23 truly has to be it all: a supermodel, a brand, a business, a boss, and a drug mule.
Because the balloons aren’t visible unless Giah is literally tipped over for an upskirt shot (classy!) Drew has her lay down on the meat section and he finds the results surprisingly unsatisfying.
Yeah, well no duh it looks like shit! This whole thing is shit! She can barely move around either or her dress pops!
The judges are more receptive to Paige’s shot in the same location, calling it:
That doesn’t even make sense, although I suppose the steak has a longer shelf life than Britney’s first marriage. For my money, Paige looks about as dead as the meat products she’s reclining on.
India is criticized for looking “short.” When they dress you to look like a blob, it’s important to look like an elongated blob!
Drew chews out Kyle a good deal for not reflecting the environment she’s in. Apparently, he wants her to be ecstatic to wear deadly shoes in a grocery store. “Pretend you’re at the store opening!” he instructs her. Kyle smiles but the reaction is not good enough. Drew stresses the excitement of being at a store opening, but who the hell gets even a tiny bit excited at a grocery store opening?
If this is really how Drew reacts to a store opening, Whole Foods should hire him quick!
Nicola gets one look at Krislian and decides she’s too sexy. (An exasperated Krislian finally wonders aloud, “Is it because I’m Latina?” Sadly, probably!) Telling her that “oversexed becomes cheesy” and tries to play against her image by putting her in over-the-top funeral garb.
The editors try to make Krislian look incompetent during her shoot, but of course her veil is going to get stuck on her crown if they make her throw it over head. They actually show this exact clip twice to make it seem like it keeps happening, too. Drew thinks she’s not doing right by this “million dollar dress.”
You know how we know these aren’t really million dollar dresses? No one seems to give a shit when Marissa drenches herself in milk.
The judges adore Marissa’s photo, even though it’s pretty much an ass shot. They think she captured the right mood for the shoot and I can’t disagree because, again, it’s an ass shot.
All in all, though, I love how bizarre these photos are. That’s some vintage WTF ANTM right there, and the reason I continue to tune in.
5 Funniest Moments from America’s Next Top Model Cycle 23 Ep. 5