this photo gives me so many feels

2

love is love is love // 6.14.16

Hello 2017

Wearing  ✶  Lime Ricki Daisy Bralette and Daisy Ruched Bottom  ✶  Wotoos star shaped face tattoos 

It’s the first day of 2017 and warm enough already for a little splash in the pool! The beginning of the year is also fraught with the traditional onslaught of diet and weightloss ads in every corner you look, so I thought it would be timely to post some positive inspiration to help counter the toxicity that us fatties are routinely assaulted by around this time. The moment the year turns around, you see it screaming it you from billboards, newspapers and even browser ads. ‘New year, new you!’ ‘Resolve to be a skinny minnie this year!’ ‘Time for a liquid diet “cleanse” after that gluttonous Christmas!’ Well, here I am in my daisy print bathers, with stars on my face and unflattering curves everywhere else and I haven’t made a new year resolution to lose weight since the year 2007.

It hasn’t been easy all the way, fending off well meaning advice from acquaintances and relatives, and having to tune out friends unloading their weightloss plans onto me. Thankfully, and mostly because I’ve been doing it for so long, this sort of selective vision and hearing comes as second nature to me. But when the lovely folks at Lime Ricki swimwear asked me if I’d like to try out one of their swimsuits and talk a bit about feeling body confident as a fat woman, I realised that it would actually be helpful to share my tips for keeping sane and preserving your mental health (and confidence) in this month of weight based penance (ugh!)

1. Take out the trash

By which I mean the glossy magazines promising miracle ‘cures’ on the cover, the tabloids and their websites, the Instagrammers selling diarrhea tea, basically any media that’s not fat positive. Back in 2007, I was more than a bit addicted to celebrity gossip - it was entertaining and a welcome distraction from my undergrad texts. However, once I realised how badly the tales of celebrity weight loss and gain affected my own body image, I started weaning myself off it. And the more time I spent on the fat positive internet, the more I started abhorring popular media and the diet culture it sells. After a point, I didn’t even want to browse through ONTD anymore. Especially because I could find all the fashion inspiration I wanted from the fat internet, and that too on bodies that looked like mine.

2. Surround yourself with fat positive media

Admittedly, the fatshion community has a very different face now than it did a decade ago, and there’s no onus on plus size bloggers to be fat positive as well. You’ll find countless plus fashion bloggers who advocate weightloss and think nothing of documenting their diets, but there are just as many anti-weightloss bloggers you can follow if you’re looking for some positive reinforcement to go with your daily fashion fix. If you’re looking for somewhere to start with, my blogroll on this page has quite a few awesome internet peeps who are just as fat positive as they’re fashionable. And if anyone you’ve been following for a while, and whose style you love descends down the slippery road to diets, don’t hesitate to unfollow them if that’s what you need for your sanity. Just putting that out there because I feel kind of bad whenever I have to do that!

3. You don’t have to listen to your friends’ diet talk

I have friends who get down on their bodies, who can’t stop talking about how badly they need to lose weight. Most of us have friends like that. It’s especially distressing when they’re people you’re close to and genuinely care about, people whose concerns you can’t just shut down without an explanation. I’ve found that a gentler approach works best in these situations. All my friends are extremely aware of my stance on diets and weightloss - I mean, I’ve only been banging on about it for the last decade or so! Yet they still try to talk to me sometimes about how they’re planning to lose weight. In situations like this, this is pretty much what I tell them: Listen dude, it’s your body, you do whatever you want with it. But you know how I feel about weightloss, so there’s no point telling me about this because I’m just going to space out. You’re an adult, making your adult choices, so go ahead and make them *shoulder pats* I have literally zero inputs to give here. *firm shoulder pats*

Back when I was first learning about fat positivity, I made it my mission to bring all my closest friends into the fold. How could I let them suffer in the purgatory of dieting and self hate when I’d found such freedom in the  alternative? Unfortunately, that’s not how people work. And ultimately, everyone has to make their own decisions about the path they want to follow, whether it comes to weightloss or the rest of life itself. You can help them along the way, but the decision of whether to be diet free or not is theirs to make.

4. Spend some time with yourself

One of the things I realised when I was getting to grips with body positivity was this: I didn’t actually know my own body. I used to avoid looking at mirrors, especially when I was naked, I only ever saw myself from one single angle, looking down at my boobs, belly, a bit of leg and feet. Whenever I came across a candid photo, I would be aghast because is this really how everyone sees me? To accept my body, I had to know it first. From every possible angle so that I couldn’t take myself unawares. Back then, I had my ex to photograph me naked, but if you don’t have anyone like that, use the mirror, use your webcam! Take photos of yourself with the self timer, standing, sitting, in silly poses and unflattering ones. Examine those photos, find the parts of your body that you love, and write down what it is that you love about them. Then find the parts of yourself that you don’t love as much and figure out something positive to say about them as well. Write that down too. Keep going back to those photos and notes whenever you can, and keep adding to them. If I’d taken these swimsuit photos 5 years ago, I’m sure I’d have been cringing at my flat butt and lumpy thighs entirely because I wasn’t familiar with them. But now I know exactly what I look like from the back, or sitting down. The body I have is the body I expect to see in photos because I’ve seen it so many times now. I know exactly how my belly folds, where my things dimple when I’m walking. These are regular, everyday features to me now, not some kind of a bogeyman waiting to jump out at me from photos I didn’t expect.

5. Set a positive example by eating

This one’s for those of you who have already taken the first steps towards body positivity, those of you who are feeling secure enough to give a very public middle finger to diet culture. I didn’t find public eating easy at the beginning, especially since I had a history of eating disorders. As my BFF recalls, one of her first memories of me was at the University canteen, with an apple in one hand and a cigarette in the other, steadfastly refusing any other food because ‘that’s all I needed for lunch.’ It took a while to get to the point where I could go out with her and triumphantly demolish platters of food in public. What I noticed, though, was that whenever I was out with a group of people and a couple of them were heading towards the ‘I think I’ll just have a salad’ territory, they ended up ordering what they actually wanted and enjoying it once I’d set the lead by unabashedly eating what I wanted. And even if you’re still a way away from being able to eat freely in public, I think that just eating the food you want with relish and joy and savouring every bite without guilt is the biggest FUUUUU you can hurl at the diet industry this time of the year. So treat yourself to the food you love and actually want to eat, listen to your body instead of the ad pointing out your supposed failings. And remember, food has no morals attached to it, it’s we who burden our plates with them.



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Was last night real? I’ve been a Green Day fan since I was seven years old and heard the song ‘Waiting’. Instantly they became my favorite band. When American Idiot came out and I saw the video for 'Holiday’ was when I knew I wanted to play guitar. That moment I saw Billie Joe on the roof of the convertible was probably the moment. Every time I listen to the song I’ll even do the same gestures he does 😜 I first picked up a guitar in seventh grade. A cheap acoustic. The first song I learned was 'Good Riddance’. I didn’t even know how the strum properly. I starting taking lessons a year later and joined a small band my music shop put together. We only played Christmas shows. The band fell apart. I stopped playing for a while until my old teacher set up an open mic at a bar. I have an anxiety disorder and it was incredibly hard to get up there the first few times even though he was playing with me. I thank him now for that push. Ever since I heard Green Day it was my dream to play with them. I learned 'Jesus of Suburbia’ for that reason. For years I would have that dream and wake up knowing that it would never come true. After 14 years of being a fan there was hardly a chance I’d even see them live. My father was not the best. I actually don’t even talk to him. Green Day was the one constant thing I had growing up. Their music has taught me so much and helped me many times. I might not have had a father but I had them. Billie had became my father figure. The person I looked up to most in the world. So when I got my ticket last December for the pit I couldn’t believe it. I drove six hours for my birthday and camped out overnight to be barrier at the show. Instantly when Billie Mike and Tre walked on stage I just stared in shock and in tears. I was finally seeing them. During the second song I had a chance to point out a pin I was wearing that said it was my 21st birthday to Mike which he saw. This tour they were pulling people on for 'Knowledge’ which I was aware of so when they started playing not even asking for anyone yet I was jumping so much trying to get their attention. Once it was time for Billie to choose he went to the other side of the stage and it seemed like he was going to pull up some guy. Last minute though he walks up to me and says “you can play it? You sure? And it’s your 21st birthday?! Get up here.” I don’t even process it but the next second security is pulling me on stage and I cower in the corner until Billie holds out his arms for me. Seeing them was enough but being able to hug the man who has been through so much with me? There was no feeling like it. I played to the best of my ability. I didn’t let my anxiety stop me. I didn’t notice the people. It felt like a dream again…. was it? I think that’s why I wasn’t nervous. Because I had done it so many times and I knew it wasn’t real. It flies by and next Billie is taking a photo with me and giving me a guitar. I’m speechless. I scream, cry, jump and dance the rest of the show them still looking at me at some points. Yesterday was…a dream? I’m still not sure. The photos and videos say it’s real but right now I still don’t think I’ve processed it. I left the venue of 16,000 with people stopping to hug me and say happy birthday. Some even took photos with me. Being able to be so close to the band that has literally raised me? Words will never be enough to describe it. But Green Day I owe to you everything. All the choices in life that have brought me to where I am today can be traced back to you. Thank you from the bottom of my fucked up little heart. Rage and love. Rhianna

8

It’s incredible how we always end up with these two.

Just like Booth and Brennan, they are the center. And they had to hold. For everything to work, they’d have to hold.

And they worked everyday. So hard. To give us the best. To have the best work environment. To have this show.

So different people, these two, with such completely different backgrounds and professional situations when they landed on this little show. Yet. They made it work everyday. Through their inside jokes, through their laughs, through hard times, against everything and everybody that didn’t believe this show actually could. They built this amazing friendship.

And the feeling, this friendship that flourished leaves me? Peace. Happiness. Because it’s so pure in so many ways. It’s David and Emily, those two so different that built their bridges together for Booth and Brennan, for Bones. You see it in every smile and photo and moment. There’s a real, deep connection. I’ll hold them so dear to me in my heart forever. I love them.

Thank you David and Emily, for giving me my life as I know it today.

The Date

5:50

I let out a long sigh after checking my phone for what seemed like the hundredth time in the past five minutes. It wasn’t anything fancy really. Just a beat up flip phone that had been in my family for what I assumed was generations. Playing with it did help with my nervous energy but now I was exhausted. Was he really not going to show up? I checked through my texts again, hoping to see one from him, but alas, there was nothing.

The restaurant that we had chosen was nice enough, not too overdone. It had a modernish rustic kind of feel to it. But most importantly it didn’t require me to wear a dress and that’s really what counted. I’d dressed up in a white crop top with black and white striped flowing pants paired with my favourite choker and sunglasses. The outfit was perfect for a hot summer day, but now as evening quickly approached, a chill began to set in the air.

Fiddling with the neatly folded napkins was a nice way to ignore the pitying glances of those around me. I flipped my phone open again. 6:01. I gritted my teeth. As much as I tried to fight it, I was getting annoyed. Like spit at your feet and flip you off kind of annoyed. Out of the corner of my eye I can see the same kindly waitress who has asked my order twice in the past hour already. This time I was debating on just getting a takeout and taking a cab home.

“Would you like to order now, miss?” A knowing glint was in her eyes. I smiled thinly at her, hands in a death grip around the water glass as I brought it to my lips. “You know what, thank you for asking Theresa, but I think I’ll just leave.” That’s right. I’d been here so long I even knew her name without needing to glance at the silver tag clipped at her chest. “Why don’t you get something to take home first, dear?” she suggested. “It’s on the house.”

This time my smile was genuine. “Thank you,” I said. I knew what I wanted without even looking at the menu. I’d spent my first hour waiting here memorizing it. If they needed a new waitress I was sure I would get the job without even blinking. “I’ll have the chicken fettuccine alfredo, please.” Theresa scribbled it on her notepad then looks up to smile at me. “I’ll be back in a few minutes, you just wait right here.”

“It’s not like I have anything better to do,” I mutter as she walks away. I sighed again, this time at the irony of that statement. Thankfully the wait for my food wasn’t long. Theresa handed me the bag. I thanked her again and rose from my seat hoping to scurry out the door without anyone staring at the miserable girl who’s date didn’t come. It wasn’t working. I could feel hundreds of pairs of eyes on me. My cheeks heated in anger and embarrassment. Perhaps I would use my time while eating to plot how I would make him pay for this. Ignore his texts all week maybe. Or I could post an embarrassing photo of him and tag all our friends. Hmm, so many options.

I was so caught up in my revenge plot that I didn’t even notice the boy who has sunk into the set across from me in the booth giving me an apologetic smile. He shook out his leather jacket and placed it beside him. “Sorry I’m so late, babe, traffic is crazy right now,” he says loudly enough for the whole room to hear. My eyes must be as wide as saucers as I gape at him. “I’m Cal, by the way. Just go with it, yeah? Whoever didn’t bother to show up is a complete dick,” he quietly adds. I force myself to relax for the eyes still watching us. I guess I had to go along with whatever the hell this was. My hand tightened on my bags, prepared to bolt if this stranger was really just a jerk who thought picking on me would be funny. Relax, breathe. “Of course, I understand. But you’re here now and that’s all that counts,” I say smoothly, fighting to keep my voice from shaking. What the hell kind of situation was this? I cursed in my head. Trouble seemed to trail me wherever I went. My response silences the whispers and giggles. The words sounded warm and charming though I felt anything but.

Say something else Mare, the poor fool is just sitting there looking at you. Oh right. “I’m Mare. Mare Barrow,” I introduce myself to this odd stranger. Well odd was one word for him. Another was jaw-dropping. Stunning. Hot. It was unfair how attractive he was with that glossy black hair in a messy bed head kind of style that suited him paired with warm amber eyes that looked like flickering flames when they hit a certain light. He had a nice stubble along his cheeks and chin and was dressed in a casual green sweater and blue jeans with his brown leather jacket. His lips curled into an amused smile when he noticed me checking him out and I blushed furiously. Something about him was oddly familiar and I couldn’t put my finger on it.

“Don’t be embarrassed about it. If we’re being honest, I was checking you out too,” he says nonchalantly. Under the table I pinched myself just to make sure that I was awake and that this wasn’t some crazy dream. But it wasn’t. This was a crazy reality which was even worse. What’s so bad about being on an unplanned date with a hot guy? a traitorous voice inside my head whispered. Well, I couldn’t argue with that logic. Cal settles into his seat looking strangely relaxed. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if he put his feet up on the table. He casually sips on some water while I gawk at him. “Well,” he sighs, “I suppose you have some questions.” “Umm, yeah?” I say in an its so obvious tone.

“What’s your full name?” He purses his lips at that one. I can’t hep but feel slightly suspicious at his reaction. “Okay, you caught me. My real name isn’t Cal, it’s–” he hesitates, silent laughter dancing in eyes. “It’s technically Tiberias Calore the Seventh, but that’s kinda long so people just call me Cal.” He seems nervous while speaking and it take everything I have to not burst out laughing. I didn’t know why his nervousness was so endearing to me. “What about you Miss Barrow? Is that your real full name?” he asks me. Cal rests his chin on his hand while observing me.

“It’s Mare Molly Barrow, but I mostly ignore the middle part,” I confess, shrugging.  "Second question, what are you doing here and why are you helping me?“ He grins at me, waggling a finger. "Nuh uh, that’s two questions.” I roll my eyes. “Well I as going to ask you sooner or later, and may I remind you that you’re the one who jumped in on my non-existent date, so I get to ask the questions here how I like.” Cal doesn’t seem fazed by my response at all, in fact, based on his expression that he approved it. Like he was expecting me to bite back.

“I expect no less from you,” he says, that same infuriating yet adorable mischievous smile plastered on his lips. Goddammit Mare, stop staring at his lips. Once I register his words I feel my face scrunch up in confusion. “Expect?” I repeat, dumbfounded. “Do I know you?” He chuckles at my confused expression. I narrow my eyes at him, hoping to place his face. I knew I recognized him, but from where? He lets me puzzle it out, watching and sipping on his water all the while. A one-night stand perhaps? Nope, I didn’t do those. A friend of a friend maybe who I didn’t remember? “I’ve got nothing,” I finally sigh. 

“We used to go to the same high school,” he shakes his head in mock hurt. “I can’t believe this. You don’t remember me.” He has to be lying. There was no way that I could forget someone that attractive. “When did you graduate?” I ask him, watching carefully for any sign of a lie. “Last year. I was captain of the senior football team,” Cal says, this faraway look in his eyes, like he was reliving it in his mind’s eye. Perhaps he was. A faint flash of a memory flitted across my mind. I was up in the bleachers with Kilorn watching as a game took place below. It was my first time going to such an event, and all I remember was wanting to go home. I didn’t even notice when the captain scored thee winning goal, but I pretended to cheer along with everyone else. I was sophomore when he graduated which is likely the reason I didn’t remember him much, other than that. "How did you recognize me?“ I ask him, suddenly aware of the thought. Was he a stalker or something? Or just really good at remembering people?

He notes my tense posture and his face softens. "You don’t need to be afraid of me, I’m not going to hurt you.” I don’t relax. His jaw clenches and he gives me a strained smile. “How could I forget the girl who spray painted the principals car?”

 My shoulder stiffen in surprise at his words. Ever so slowly my lips part into a smile and I laugh. Cal watches me, smiling as well. It was genuine, soft crooked smile that tugged at my heart. “Oh my god I can’t believe you remember that,” I groan, hiding my face between my hands to conceal the red blush flaring on my cheeks. Slowly, softly, he takes my hands in his and I stare at him. He blushes as well at my struck expression. “Sorry, I just…I think your blush is…” He fumbles with the words, tripping over them. “You look really beautiful and I–” He stops when he sees my wide eyes. “Ugh that came out wrong, sorry–” he says, looking very much like he would love nothing more than to crawl into a hole and stay there. “You don’t need to apologize,” I tell him softly. He smiles hesitantly. “And thank you.”

“I’d always wondered why you did it,” he muses. “That’s what puzzled me about you.” I stare at him in wonder. I had no idea that he’d even knew my name, much less thought about me often. “I’ll tell you if you answer my questions and stop avoiding them,” I say. “Alright,” he agrees. “I came to visit my friend on his first day of work here. I hoped to see him, but I haven’t, which probably means that he’s doing a terrible job at this and I need to yell at him.” “But,” he adds, “I’m sure his boss has that covered.”

“Secondly, I came over here because you looked sad and slightly pissed. Well actually, more pissed than upset,” he laughs. That fades as he turns serious. “But I heard people whispering and…” He looks down, fiddling with something. I had a feeling he was trying to avoid my gaze. “The things they were saying were terrible, so I thought maybe I could help out this girl that they were talking about.” I wasn’t sure I was breathing normally anymore. It caught in my chest and squeezed painfully. I knew people’s opinion shouldn’t matter to me, and it didn’t, but I couldn’t stand the whispers. It reminded me too much of sophomore year when hushed words would follow me wherever I turned. They thought I couldn’t hear them, but they were wrong. Look, it’s the troubled girl who spray painted the principals car, one person would whisper, and another would accompany it. I heard she did it on purpose. Why would someone do that on purpose? Someone would snort. Because they’re stupid and lack a brain, another responded.

“Then I saw you, and I recognized you. You were sitting there and I thought that whoever didn’t show up was a total ass,” he scoffs. “That ass is my ex, by the way,” I say, tilting my head at him. He flushes. “Sorry for the language.” His brow furrows slightly. “You were meeting your ex?” he asks, confused as to why someone would even do such a thing. “No, but he is now,” I clarify, shrugging. He laughs and that same heart-wrenching grin returned.

“So, I’ve answered your questions. Now it’s your turn to answer mine.”

I nod. Fair enough.

“I did it because for some idiotic reason I wanted to get suspended. Teenage rebellion, I guess,” I joke halfheartedly. The truth was I did know why I did it. That was around the time Tramy had been leaving to follow in Bree’s footsteps and join the military. I had been so angry at everything and everyone. My parents tried to console me at first, but then they would get exasperated, my mother most of all. And that hurt. Everything had come crashing back, my bitterness of being the shadow to my sister, the pretty, sweet talented sister that I could never live up to, the anger of never being seen by my parents as nothing more than nuisance though I knew deep down that it wasn’t true. They loved me in their own way. Only Shade could put up with me, and he was my first friend as well as my older brother.

I’d poured all of that emotion into that stupid action, hoping to get back at my parents somehow, show them that they were right. I was the only the bitter shadow they thought me to be. I struggle to keep the tears in as I explain this all to Cal who patiently listens to me without interrupting. When I finish, he stands up and my heart sinks. He was going to leave, my story had scared him off.

Instead of running off as I expect him to, Cal slowly reaches out to touch my shoulder, his eyes holding a silent question. I nod once and he comes to sit beside me. Cal wraps his arms around me, and I lean on his shoulder, pressing my face into his broad arm. He brushes my hair back from my face and I bite my lip. We stay like that for a while in comfortable silence. I even spot Theresa giving me a wink from across the room, and I try to stifle my laugh.

“I should go now,” I say quietly at last, shattering the silence that had wrapped us both. “What time is it?” He takes out his phone from his pocket and I note that it’s the newest model. Thank goodness I’d asked him first so he wouldn’t see my flip phone that dated back to prehistoric times. “It’s 8:51, he informs me.” I jolt and jump of my seat. Cal’s face contorts in worry. “What is it?” “I was supposed to be home by seven, or at least call my parents,” I explain breathlessly, quickly gathering my things. Don’t panic, don’t panic, I chide myself. I scrambled through my purse for my bus pass, letting out a cry of frustration when I come up empty handed.

“Hey, calm down,” Cal urged. “I’ll give you a ride back, no big deal.” That stills me. “You…you’d drive me home?” He smiles softly. “Of course.” The words sooth me, but only slightly. I didn’t want him to see where I lived. Our sorry excuse of an apartment flashed through my mind. I would have to get him to drop me a couple of blocks ahead then walk the rest of the way. “Thanks, again.” He shrugs. “No problem.”

We head out together. I shiver when a cold gust of wind sweeps across me, and I wrap my arms around myself in an attempt to keep my teeth from chattering. Cal shrugs of his jacket and hands it to me. I stare at it then him. “Aren’t you cold?” I inquire. He shakes his head. “I don’t get cold often strangely enough.” I accept the jacket and put it on.Thankfully it was lined to keep out the cold but thee fit was much too big. I looked like child playing dress up. Cal’s eyes widen when he looks down at me and I suddenly feel self-conscious. “What, what is it?”

He looked slightly dazed. “Nothing’s wrong.” I struggle to cross my arms due to the bulky jacket. “Tell me the truth.” Cal sighs. “You don’t let anything go, do you?” “Nope,” I said, popping the p. "Alright, I was thinking that the jacket looks better on you than it does on me,“ he confesses. Stunned, I don’t say a word. I can only follow him to his car hoping that the darkness would conceal my blush. It was unfair really how flustered he often made me.

My jaw almost drops at the sight of his car. It was gorgeous. Like I’d date it kind of gorgeous. It was a shiny red Volvo trimmed and plated with chrome, shined to perfection. I would bet that it looked even better in daylight. Cal glances at me, enjoying my look of awe. "What are you thinking right now?” he asks. Fine. It was a fair question after all. “I’m thinking that like to date your car,” I tell him. He huffs, amused. “Sorry, but she’s mine.”

 "Who said it was a she?“ I counter playfully. "I fixed her myself. I think I would know,” he responds with a wide smile. “Ugh, gross!” I exclaim, smacking him in the chest. I can feel his laugh reverberate in his chest, and I pull my hand away after I realize that it’s been there too long. He catches it deftly and links his fingers with mine. I inhale sharply. He doesn’t pull away once we settle into our seats and neither do I. He asks for my address and I instruct him where to go seeing as he wasn’t familiar with the area. We pass through the tall buildings which slowly level out to townhouses. I knew that they formed the border that separated my side of town from the nice part of the city

“Turn here,” I point. He obliges and we pass through the neat row of houses. 227, one of them reads. “This is it,” I say, hoping he won’t notice the lie. The house was close enough to the edge that it wouldn’t be a long walk on this chilly night. I begin to shrug off the jacket when Cal stops me. “Keep it. As I said, it looks much better on you anyway.” I stare at him in disbelief, the jacket still hanging loosely around my elbows. He fixes it so that it rests on my shoulders and fastens a few of the buttons. I sit there and study him as he works.

“It was nice talking with you,” I say, slightly breathless at his proximity. He looks up and stills as well, suddenly realizing the same thing. The moment felt suspended as if hanging by thread that could fray and snap at any time. I couldn’t think of anything except how beautiful his eyes were. They reminded me of warmth, of autumn. I wasn’t entirely sure he was breathing anymore as he touched my cheek lightly. With his other hand, he raises my own to his lips and presses a kiss to the back. “It was nice talking to you too,” he whispers.

As I start to pull away, he keeps a gentle grip on my hand and I turn back around. “Yes?” I ask him, just as unwilling to let go. “I–” he stutters. “I have one more question for you that I forgot to ask earlier.”

“What is it?”

“I was wondering,” he says softly,  "if you would like to go on a real, actually planned date with me.“

I knew I didn’t even need to think about it. I was sure of my answer.

I smile at him, broad and without restraint. "Yes, I would love to go on a planned date with you.”

He lets out a relieved laugh. “Good.” Cal looks at me almost shyly. “I’ve never been on an actual date.” I pat his hand reassuringly. “You’ll do great, I’m sure of it.” “I hope so,” he replies.

“Just show up in that car and you’re set.”

He laughs again. “Noted.”

We exchange our numbers and I’m careful to keep my phone hidden but he spots it anyway. "Don’t be embarrassed. If it’s any consolation, I think it’s pretty cool. They don’t even make them like that anymore.” I roll my eyes fondly. “Of course. Only a dork like you would notice that.”

“I confess, I am a bit of a nerd,” he smiles teasingly and my heart flutters.

“Goodbye, Mare.“

"Goodbye, Cal.”

As I walk the rest of the way home I can’t stop the infectious grin that worms its way onto my face. My heart felt light like I would float away at any moment. Is this what you were supposed to feel like after a date? I’d never felt that way with my ex. Internally I sigh at the thought of having to break up with him. I’d do it in person. I could do that much.

 When I finally get home, mom and dad sigh in relief when I find them at the kitchen table with Gisa. “Where have you been?” She demands. Sometimes I felt like she was more like a mother than my actual mom was. “Calm down. My date wasn’t showing up and I bumped into an old friend from high school and we lost track of time–”

“What do you mean lost track of time,” my dad growls. I sigh heavily. “Calm down dad it wasn’t like that. We just talked.” “That’s what they all say,” he mutters under his breath

.“We’re glad you’re home, darling. Next time, please give us a warning,” mom says tiredly.“I know, I know. Sorry mom,” I sigh again.“Next time?” Gisa huffs. “There will be no next time young lady. Now go to your room.” I crack a small smile at her adult behavior. “Alright, fine,” I concede. 

“Wait, where’s Shade?” I ask them. Mom and dad glance at each other while Gisa plays with her hair. “He went out to look for you,” she explains. “We– we thought that something had happened and–” I hold up a hand and she stops speaking. “I got it. Seeing as I’m not dead, you should probably call him and tell him that I’m home.”

Mom jumps to her feet. “Of course, how could I forget.” She practically trips over himself to get to our old home phone. I leave them to it and go to my room. Once I shut the door, I climb into my bed, inhaling the smoky scent of the jacket. It smelled just like him, and I lie there with a stupid grin at the thought of seeing him again.

It was only a matter of time.

***

@tiberiaschooseme, @stars-above-luna, @calmareforever, @queeniriscygnet, @didmavenkillyou–metoo, @littlelightningirl, @universegamer, @emotionscanhurt, @chaoslaborantin, @maudthebookeater, @redqueenfandom

Here you go guys, hope it was up to par! See if you can spot the small Hamilton reference ;)

Based on this prompt

To Borrow #7

Here is our sweet sweet muffin V. This man needs more love and protection than almost anyone in MM (I think if pressured enough Yoosung would cut a bittccch but V would still take all the abuse >_<) 

This will close the Borrow series and I thank anyone who has taken the time to read, reblog or just like the stuff I wrote. Really appreciate and love you all <3 

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Emerald City Comic-Con 2017

So I drove to Seattle from my little city Bend, OR on Thursday, about a 7hr drive there (7.5 hrs on the way home :/)  I stayed with @ninaf who lives just outside of Seattle.  We hung out that night and didn’t go to bed until after 1 a.m. 😳The Panel:  Our plan was to get to the Convention Center by 8:30/9:00 a.m. which we did. It was interesting that there didn’t seem to be much ‘security’(I could have taken my flask :/), we entered from across the street where we parked in a public parking garage and entered in at the 3rd floor.  We probably could have gotten in Sat. no problem even without a Sat badge!  Anyhow quickly found the line for the Outlander panel – SO many people!  They let us in at about 10:45 and me @ninaf and 2 of her friends (that are ‘normal’ fans) found some seats – we were second row far left of the stage – right where the fan questions were left of the stage.  I wanted to ask a question – Sam could you please sit back I can’t see CAITRIONA!? In front of us was a slew of moms with their babies – so cute – one started fussing and Cait actually looked over to them with her awe concerned face – she clearly LOVES BABIES! ♥  You can just see it in the video briefly at about 14:32 min. I am a huge Cait fan so I was Screaming and standing when she came out and thought we were doing pretty good there, then Sam came out and omg decibels! They sit down and Sam won’t sit all the way back on the couch, I don’t know why, and he was blocking my view of Cait, I could only see her on the screen or if she moved forward or back. 😒 I didn’t take any pics, cos I just wanted to be present and absorb the experience, (one of @ninaf ’s friends did though so we’ll post as soon as we get them). One observance is they both looked tired, but ready to 'do this’.  I loved the panel, I thought they were very comfortable, there to have fun and engage with us, I liked the questions asked and quite a few of mine were answered. Caitriona was taking the lead quite a bit but I think her wit is a bit quicker than Sam’s (I’m a taurus and we tend to slow think sometimes) but it gave him a chance to play off of her which I feel they do quite a bit probably. They seemed very in tune with each other.  Next on the agenda was the autograph session.  We got there @ about 12:15 for the 12:30 and were turned away- too full come back at 4.  Well cool, we can at least eat, since we didn’t have any breakfast so we had lunch and drinks. Met up with @ourrubygirl and her daughter (normal fan), nipunad on twitter – sorry don’t know your tumblr and with ninaf and her 2 friends (side note – they were so funny before I even got to Seattle they were concerned that ninaf would invite someone from online who she had never met to stay at her house.  By then we had talked on the phone and friended each other on facebook so they had to facebook stalk me to give their approval – whew, glad I passed). 😘Photo Op!  Ugh, okay this is where we realized that this poor little comic-con was absolutely NOT ready for this Outlander fandom and where everything really started to get behind schedule.  I envy the Sat photo op participants, looks like it was more relaxed and not as rushed as Friday's– READY click NEXT! I know people have been dissing the posed photos, but after being 'there’ this is what I feel, I think SamCait enjoy the poses somewhat, cos’ otherwise the way it was with many of us on Friday we just walk in, stand next to them, click and we’re out, so I could see that for sure getting tedious AF for them, they seemed to have more fun on Sat with it – because they were allowed to also.  Anyhow the Friday photo op was close to being a complete clusterfuck, but the gestapo staff pulled it off.  There were other people there, apparently there was more than just OL there 😉 that would be like “What is this line for with all these people?” And we’d be like Outlander, and they just go off mumbling wtf is outlander? Funny. I walked in for my 'Team Outlander’ photo and I was wearing opal earrings from Mexico and Cait says to me “oh I love your earrings” Me: thank you – and I’m beaming so fucking hard I can hardly breath! So I’m 5'1” - yeah – I’m holding on to them for the photo mumble thanks or something I fecking don’t remember, patted Sam’s back turned and looked up OMFG this guy is TALL! I have a friend that is 6'7”, but Sam seemed much taller than that, I think it’s his massiveness or something IDK. His leather jacket is really soft btw.Okay NEXT – while I go back in line for my Cait only photo, ninaf goes downstairs to get in line for the autographs – good thing too since they almost turned me away by the time I got down there!  STEP OFF BITCH I WILL GET MY CATRIONA EFFING BALFE AUTOGRAPH!!!!  So by this time we are beyond hot – it was so hot in this place which wasn’t even at the convention center, everything but the panel was at the Sheraton next door.  Note to self Bring water bottle, we learned a lot of should'ves…. So there was quite a wait for this, mainly because Caitriona was still upstairs READY click NEXT! And they could only do the Sam only autographs which there weren’t a ton of apparently😁

The way they had it set up Cait first then Sam, so we had to wait for Cait to appear.  We were in the 'overflow’ line outside of the main autograph room, but could see in there a bit, we saw the lights go out, didn’t hear the comments @sileas84 mentioned, but too funny.  When we finally got to the 'room’ wow, so I am a diehard Caitriona Balfe fan, I like Sam but am not an over the top fan like most… I have to say seeing him up close and personal I COULD NOT take my eyes off of him, he was so 'cute’ doesn’t do it justice, I seriously have no word/s for it.  He was so funny and gracious and flirty with the women and NICE, very tan too, yeah, I kept running into people as the line snaked around trying to just watch him, I even almost got kicked out trying to sneak a pic – damn gestapo staffers.  So finally get up to Caitriona, um effing goddess.  She had quite the stash of gifts, I had considered giving them something but didn’t want to burden them with too much stuff and if they truly just give it away well… So I opted to give her a love letter as I call it, from me.  I didn’t know what to 'say or ask her something’ so I mentioned that I have a head shot autograph of Simon (her friend Simon Kassianides) and I can add hers to it now and she smiles and says “oh cool, I just saw him a couple of days ago!”  Me: heehee. JHRC I’m such a dweeb.  I didn’t get a Sam autograph cos’ they had sold out by the time I got online to purchase, I coached ninaf though to make sure to smell him so we could report back, since we both forgot to at the photo op :P  So we float out of the room and out into the main area and I finally just started screaming I was so excited – I got to talk to Caitriona Effing Balfe (even if it was brief)  I am so so glad I did this! 

After this was all done it was getting close to our dinner plans for meeting up with other tumblrs, so we eventually got to the restaurant.  How fun to finally meet some of us.  As we came into the room I immediately recognized @rainmanjdog and @mommydog67, we had been chatting while in line for our Cait only photo and didn’t know that we were part of the tumblrs, so funny and we all almost asked each other but didn’t want to risk it – so sad.  Great night hanging with everyone, best story goes to @valkyrie1969 I still chuckle just thinking about it.  So where is the photo of us pointing at the 'Meet and Greet’ room @pentwhistle ?

Overall impression of SamCait – they are two of the most genuine, engaging, fun, cool, nicest people.  

Overall impresion of our tumblrs – we are some of the most genuine, engaging, fun, cool and nicest people.  

EXO Reaction when it’s your birthday but you are sad because your friends and fam can’t come visit you

HAppy late birthday Poland anon! Xo, Admin A~

/I don’t own any of the gifs used, unless stated otherwise/


Chanyeol:

*Prepares a day full of activities and surprises, so even if you aren’t with your family you feel loved and with friends* “So I rented the cinema… we can watch all the movies you want jagi….”

Kris:

*Takes you to his favorite places and spends the whole day and night with you* “You know… when I miss my home I just lay down and stare at the starry night. The starts, the moon remind me that we live under the same sky… so even if it’s for a little bit I feel at home”

Sehun:

*Prepares a little birthday surprise party for you* “I know it’s not all your friends but… you are very special to us. Happy birthday jagi!”

Tao:

*Like two days before your birthday* “Prepare your things baobei, we are flying home for your birthday! This is my birthday present for you”

Kai:

“Can you trust me? I might not be them but… I’ll try to make your birthday a day you’ll never forget. Please don’t be sad, I’m here for you”

Xiumin:

*Has a lot of surprises for you but there’s one in particular that he wants you to see* “Hey babe~ I recorded this video thinking you might want to see your friends and family from back home today so… I asked them to send me a video with everything they wanted to tell you in this special day. I hope you enjoy it. I love you”

Baekhyun:

*Prepares a surprise party… with all your family and friends from home* “I know you thought they wouldn’t be able to come but I didn’t want you to be sad because of it… so I made some arrangements. Happy Birthday babe!”

Luhan:

*He always treats you like a princess but in this day he makes you feel even more special, and loved and appreciated* “Please don’t be sad, you are not alone. You have me, I can be your home”

Chen:

“Say jagi… I might not be able to bring you family and friends here but.. I want to know what you want to do in your birthday. Let me be your fairy-godmother for one day, yes?” *Will make all your wishes come true*

Kyungsoo:

“Are you read jagi? What do you mean for what? Your birthday, I prepared a day full of surprises for you. Just you and me though, I’ll make this day memorable, I promise” *Gives his all, just for you*

Lay:

“So I thought we could stay home today. I asked Kyungsoo to help me make your favorite food and I brought your favorite movies and all the sweets you love. I also wrote a song for you and brought so many presents form me and the boys and your friends and family than sent them from home… I just want you to feel at home for one day… I hope you like everything I have prepared” 

Suho:

*Goes through all your photo albums, calls your parents and friends and prepares your birthday as close as they would* “They might not be here, but they helped me do this all for you. From the bottom of our hearts, happy birthday Jagi!”

[Masterlist] [Guideline]

Hello again
External image

Once social media kicked into high gear, it felt like a lot of us lost the patience to sit down and write out posts the way that we used to. It was easier to chat with friends on Twitter, share photos on Instagram, and sites like Tumblr really nurtured the fandom corners of our souls. Or, at least, that’s what happened with me. Slowly but surely (real talk: as my deadlines grew tighter and while I still had a day job) my updates trickled down to just giving news on books and events.

Lately I’ve been missing having a quiet corner of the web to call my own. Maybe it’s because there are so many voices online, and more and more it feels like everyone is shouting at each other on social (with good reason, but still–I don’t know about you guys, but stress is contagious for me, and I have a hard time shaking it once it worms its way into my head). I don’t really want to retreat from the online world, especially since the stakes are so high and it’s more important than ever to stand up for others and for what you believe in. But, to be honest, I’m struggling a bit with that balance between staying engaged and with keeping my creativity up.

The strain of spending 24/7 worrying about the future really saps the well dry, so to speak, so while I’ll never back down from amplifying voices and joining the political and social conversations online, I’ve also been feeling like I need another outlet to help decompress and get me back into the routine of regular writing. You might remember from one of my recent newsletters that I’ve realized it’s easier for me to keep up my pace if I don’t take long breaks between projects and drafts. That’s still very much true. But I also think it helps to engage in more writing outside of stories, so here we are. 

I’m thinking that maybe, without any real fanfare or regularly directing people here, I could use this blog as a way to connect with some of you in a slightly more meaningful way. I am very easily overwhelmed, I’ll admit that. I struggle to keep up with Instagram comments and Twitter messages, and, to my deep, deep shame, I have hundreds of emails from readers I haven’t tackled or given a response to. I’m hoping it’s easier to stay in touch with you guys here, and actually chat via comments.

The plan is to keep you up to date on my books and writing, but also to dive into other things I really love. For instance, I just moved into a new house and I’m having the best time nesting and getting everything in order. I’m trying to figure out landscaping, too, even though I have whatever is the opposite of a green thumb and Arizona tends to roast everything I try to grow. Movies, books I’ve read, true crime (bless you @ everyone on the Prosper tour who let me go on and on about true crime and Dateline), history… let’s just see how this all shakes out. My only real goal is to try to post at least three times a week, but we’ll see! I might have to work up to that again. Build that blogging muscle!

Anyway, thanks for reading. Talk soon! ❤️

2

Robin from Fisheye Placebo looking melancholic in the city night. I wanted her eyes to resemble the fisheye lens of her camera. Many people think photography objectively captures reality, but that couldn’t further from the truth. A photographer can only capture the reality he/she chooses to see through. The types of lenses used, what’s included vs excluded in the photo, camera settings, and countless other things can alter the feeling a photo gives off, and thus reinterpreting the reality seen through the lens.

In other news, I’ve finally picked out my team of 3D artists to help me speed up my comic production. We’re still in some testing stages but I’ll be announcing the new team soon with sample artworks! So excited!

anonymous asked:

Do you think you can give an example or show us how to actually explain what you want in a commission, I have really bad anxiety and don't wanna mess it up. I plan to eventually commission you (is that how you would say it)? It would really help me out. 💜

Hey there! Thankyou for this ask! I feel like I should have made a template ages ago to make it easier!

What I’ll need is:

Name/Handle: This is so I know what to call you! 

Style: I offer flat color and minimal color commissions so let me know what style you’d like!

Paypal Email: I’ll need to know your paypal email so I can send an invoice! I generally require payment up front!

Reference Photos: If you have any references that you’d like me to use pop them in! THERE ARE NEVER TOO MANY REF PHOTOS!! If you dont happen to have any references that is ok too!

Description: THIS PART IS IMPORTANT! Tell me a bit about the characters! Especially if they are original characters! This helps me get a feel for the character/s and how they might interact with eachother! This section is also important if you dont have any reference photos as well! And it’ll give you the chance to describe small details not in the references if any~

Pose: This is not required but it does help me out! Let me know what you’d actually like in the commission! (i.e: “I would like these two characters in a loving embrace” or “I would like this character flipping off the sun” ect~)


And if you have any questions PLEASE DONT HESITATE TO ASK! I try to get to all of the emails I receive within a day or two! And if for some reason I don’t respond its probably because it got filtered through my spam folder (I’m still trying to fix that little hiccup lol) If thats the case feel free to nudge me on here or on twitter! <3

ALSO, Once you receive the completed commission you are free to do whatever you like with it! Post it, print it out, have it sent to a company to have it printed on a bath mat, WHATEVER! It’s yours to do with as you please :)

I HOPE THIS HELPS!!!!

Accidentally?

a short prompt.  I how it’s not too disappointing, i know you’re all waiting for a much longer fic from me and i fear this one is not very good.  

anyway, I’ve heard some people wishing for a slightly softer Finn and a more confident Rae, so I put that in this au.  This is a little one-shot that wouldn’t get out of my head once I saw the prompt.  I hope you all like it.  I’d love to see your takes on it, so feel free to re-write it if you like the prompt – I don’t own it!

 Also, just a reassurance I’m still working on season 4 - just very slowly – I’m working on about 12 things at the same time.  My head is a jungle of ideas!  But believe me that my beloved mmfd is still in there!  And I still care about Rae & Finn and all of you.  

I was wondering if any of you had even the slightest interest in me posting any of my non-mmfd fanfics?  I am working on a long one that really doesn’t require you to be in the fandom (it’s probably better if you’re not) that has a big girl lead, lots of pining and longing and almost kissing, sexy sex of course, and also werewolves, mages, fighting dragons and exploring ancient ruins and stuff.  If enough people seem interested in reading it, I might post that as well as my mmfd stuff here.  

Typical CW for my stuff: swearing, sex, I think that’s it.

These people asked to be tagged:

@stinemarine @protectfinnnelson @magicalgrandma @rinncincin @facephase @theblanknotebook @alyjseve @inneedofamoralcompass @crystalgiddings1993 @onetoughcookiexx @gwennybabe @chrryblsms @towongfootwo @nilise @kaybee1980 @onthecallyroad @kingbeeyonce @i-dream-of-emus @maggiehatestheuniverse @redprairielily @nutinanutshell @raeonashadowcaster @caitlinmaddyx @tinakegg @autumninsidemyheart @mmfdfanfic @14000romances @broadwaybaby25 @chelsealorine @irish-girl-84 @fuck-sewing-machine @areyousad8118 @malvaloca93 @youwillneverguessmyurl @girl-looking-out-window @lau-vm @rhi3915 @eveerez @pariadeplaisante @milllott @themirumiru @pink-royaute @kneekeyta @bitchy-broken @celestev31

i hope you all like it!



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renmugi-deactivated20170330  asked:

Hey, first of all, i want to say I admire you and you inspire me lots. So, I have problems when it comes to my characters and their features as, in one drawing I'll have them looking good and like they should be, but in the other, it doesn't look like them at all. I think that could be because of my anatomy or my "style". Do you have any tips? That could help improve that

Thank you bby <3

I still struggle with this, but I think I’m figuring it out. Here’s my advice from what I’m learning now:

  • Portrait Studies! I like to gather lots of portraits of different models from fashion blogs and sketch them. Using different faces seems a bit backwards since what we’re struggling with is keeping a consistent appearance for a character, but it has its uses. I guess it lets me see how many small details there are in faces and allows me more control/confidence when creating a face and then being able to recreate it accurately. It clarifies the vague vision of the face I have in my head and my drawing habits are less likely to take over. Here’s a video which is similar to the stuff I’ve been learning in college that helps when drawing from anything. And here’s a link to my fashion tag on my inspiration blog if you want to practice on some faces too :)

  • Stare at your friends(???) Whenever my friends are talking to me I usually just look at different parts of their faces that I want to learn how to draw. It might not necessarily help drawing in that moment as much as sketching would, but it keeps me interested and gives me something to work on when I actually get down to drawing someone.

  • Draw your friends! My class has gotten to the point where we’re comfortable with taking candid photos of each other while we work or hang out and draw each other for our assignments or just personal works. I didn’t have many artist friends as passionate about art so I’m used to doing it by myself. It gets lonely so if you feel me just try take advantage of having friends, even if they aren’t all artists!

  • Loosen up! This one is going to sound a bit odd because I agree that if you are good at something, never do it for free…. BUT from my experience it’s a lot more rewarding to just have fun with things. I’m not saying that you should give away everything you do for free, it’s just there’s nothing wrong with placing more value on the experience you gain from drawing a friend if they ask sometimes. You will get paying customers so there’s no need to fret over a free portrait study. Find the balance between emotional and financial rewards of creating art.

  • Iterative Drawing! I came across one of Sycra’s videos where he explains one of his methods for improving his art. I sometimes struggle to practice this one because it requires owning up to mistakes which takes courage and a lot of self love haha. When it is practiced, it does have amazing results almost instantly. You can apply this to remembering your character’s face and refining it to the point where you’re confident with how they look!

I really hope this helps :) I look forward to seeing where you go with this advice! Remember to be breathe and be patient with yourself <3

10

Korrasami wedding photos!

This series was such a wild ride. I won’t pretend it didn’t start out…shaky, to be nice.

But somewhere along the line, it turned into something amazing. I grew to love all these characters, and that finale…it hit me pretty hard.

So thank you, Legend of Korra. Thank you for helping me feel like a child watching ATLA again. I hope this isn’t the last we’ve seen of you.

(Asami’s necklace is based off Cheppo’s fantastic design)

(Yes I cheated on the background. Give me a break, I had to draw eleven pictures in as many days.)

anonymous asked:

Imagine how crazy the internet goes when the band post a video of Stiles, sitting in Derek's lap while the older man singing softly to him because he can't sleep because he ate too many chicken nuggets and now his stomach feels like a volcano about to burst. Imagine Stiles posting a video of Derek practice dancing (shirtless, of course) with a cheeky wink at the end, "Sorry guys, he's MINE".. - Z (are u still alive? ^.^)

Oh my gosh, Derek cuddling Stiles becasue of his stomach hurting! And those very teasing practice videos, sooooo good!

Not to mention the pictures their band mates post of Derek curling up with Stiles after he gets sick on the tour and Derek struggles to pull himself away but Stiles wants him to go and perform even though he knows it won’t be the same for Derek without Stiles there. But the audience fix that by constantly tweeting Stiles videos of the concert, photos and more so that Stiles can feel like he’s there.

There’s also a lot of tweets from the rest of the band, like Stiles posting a photo of Boyd massaging Erica’s feet becasue she had to wear heels for the whole concert and they hurt, then he complains that Derek never gives him foot rubs, but Derek promises to give him as many massages as he wants.

Then there’s the time they spend at home after tours, where Derek cooks romantic dinners for Stiles and Stiles builds pillow forts.

This AU gives me life!

“Don’t you think Happily Ever After is a cliche theme for a wedding?”

“We’re best friends that fell in love, our whole love story is cliche, Jemma”

“Ugh, Fitz”

youtube

I watched ‘Minimalism’ tonight. 

I was actually searching for a documentary on sustainability I had been told was on Netflix - just not Filipino Netflix apparently - and pressed play on this instead (those of you that know me know I’m partial to a nice font). 

In the last couple of years I’ve found myself working on being more - for lack of a better word -  ‘mindful’, to open my eyes to what I value in my environment; at home, at work, in my city, my country. To what brings joy, agitation, to what I have control over and what I can let go. It’s been a really enjoyable journey and one I’m happy to keep exploring. 

Recently, I moved house. Not far, just next door. A replica of home with an extra bit on the side for some urban gardening. In not packing up to move (just picking up the contents of a shelf and lugging it in the summer heat to the same, but different shelf next door) I was re-acquainted with my belongings, and what I’ve accumulated in a couple of years of having a home that wasn’t at work. Naturally, I looked at it from an environmental point of view - the energy taken to manufacture it; where it would end up if I chucked it or gave it away; the packaging it came it and the redundancy I can’t seem to escape from. 

I never really considered it’s impact on me. The metaphorical weight of it. The broken promises of that skirt I don’t fit in, but might do again if I just developed some discipline. Those colouring pencils representing a failure to take a break and colour in a jellyfish in the near-empty adult colouring book. Those heels I swore would inspire me to be a bit more fashionable, but never wear, and therefore am a slob. Those make-up brushes that make me feel less of a woman because I have no idea what they actually do, or why there need be so many. Who knew that my room, my sanctuary, was ridden with nuanced negativity. 

If you asked me to visualise minimalism, I’d probably have described a photo of a succulent on a white table with gold trimming on it’s pot á la Instagram. I would not have said ‘happiness’…until I watched this film. It was like giving a face to all my unfinished ‘mindful’ thoughts, and showing me what this path could look like. It’s not an empty white room with a single chair and a bare light bulb. It’s living with what you need, and what you value. It’s side-stepping the marketing that’s shoved down our throats everyday, it’s deciding what to consume rather than being dictated to by the latest trend. It’s freeing yourself from the negativity imposed on you by your stuff. 

I guess at the end of it all, it’s about taking control of your life, recognising what’s really important to you and curating your environment to match it. 

I share this because I believe it’s a wide enough concept that anyone can adapt to suit them and their lifestyles and see positive results - it doesn’t have to be extreme in any sense. And in this mixed up, muddle up world of 2017, we can all do with a little more positivity in our lives…

MAAMB x

8

(1/15/17) Hi everyone! It took a while, but here’s my bullet journal setup for 2017. It’s nowhere near finished yet and I want to add many more collections to it, but I thought it would be nice to give you a general idea of what it looks like right now :) This year I’ll be using a Leuchtturm1917 A5 Dotted notebook as my bullet journal. I’ve never tried the brand before but it’s great so far!

You can click on the photos to read a little bit about the spread if you’d like :)

If you have any questions, feel free to message or ask me!