In addition to my previous post on Borderline Personality Disorder, I want to say this:
If you are borderline, DO NOT FEEL GUILTY FOR ACTING BORDERLINE. You have an illness, for fuck’s sake. You can work to overcome problem behaviors that cause you discomfort, but don’t feel guilty about having them. If you didn’t have them, you wouldn’t have the diagnosis.
In addition, realize you have a MAJOR MENTAL ILLNESS. You are seriously sick. No little bandaid is going to fix you. You are going to hurt and hurt a lot. That’s what being borderline does to you. The hurting is part of it. The hurting is horrible but it’s ok. Let yourself hurt. It’s ok to hurt. Don’t feel bad because you can’t make it stop.
Just please please please understand this: You have this diagnosis for a reason and when you act out the criteria for having the diagnosis and people get angry for you about it, that is NOT YOUR FAULT. If you weren’t acting out the criteria, then you wouldn’t qualify for the diagnosis, would you?
Of course you want to recover. You want it to end. (Even though you can’t imagine a life without it and so you aren’t even sure you actually DO want it to end.) But you are not just looking for attention. You are not creating your symptoms out of thin air because you’re bored.